/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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Hey, Ash, I hit on an idea to maybe broaden your fan base.
Sometimes I go on youtube and it's algorithm shows a video you made back in 2014-2015. Sometimes the comments aren't disabled and people ask where is she or I miss her or cool vid etc. Some of the comments are recent, like 2 or 3 months ago. I can reply to the comments and say that she's back and give your web site and your icum.to site. Doing that triggers the notification bell on the youtube site for the person who wrote the comment and eventually they'll see the notification and maybe visit your sites. I don't want to do anything without your permission, so what do you think?
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>>3084
OK, whenever one of your vids pops up while I'm perusing youtube and the comments aren't disabled I'll give it a try.

Sure, you can be my mascot and you're probably a quick learner, ever use a nail gun? You'd look pretty hot wearing shorts, a tool belt and work boots.
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>>3085
I've only got one truck, a pick up, so no space for vinyl wrap since by State regs I have to have the name of my contracting company on the door panels. Was a good idea though.
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>>3084
Oh man, Ashley already has beautiful milky white skin but Ashley with a tan sounds pretty hot. Too bad I can't have both... or can I? Ashley with bikini tan lines? Best of both worlds.
Replies: >>3101 >>11387
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>>3100
>Ashley with bikini tan lines?
anon... oh god.
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>>3100
GYATT damn, the new Ashley DIY video is looking looking good fr fr

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Sandwich angst. What more is there to say?

https://videos.icum.to/w/mvxDvyA9gunpMWdb5GtxEs
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>>11354
This is hilarious, what a great find. Serves them right for eating dead flesh goyslop.
>>11354
https://news.sky.com/story/vegans-more-likely-to-break-bones-than-meat-eaters-study-finds-12139886
Replies: >>11363
>>11362
That's terrifying. I knew vegans were dangerous.

Ashley, I know you want snoo-snoo. The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised
Replies: >>11366
>>11363
That’s why it’s better to be vegetarian than vegan.
Replies: >>11375
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>>11366
Y'all ever try the carnivore diet?

11111 GET
Replies: >>11120 >>11334
>>11111 (OP) 
Impressive. How does Derrick feel about this? I know it wasn't him because his are always annoying flashy.
Replies: >>11334
>>11111 (OP) 
mmm very nice.
I like to think the 1's are cheese sticks all nicely lined up, cooked golden brown and ready to snack on 

>>11120
its funny, Derrick cant cook cheese sticks nor could he get the cheese stick GET
poetic really...

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>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HurkqYAQYJ4
>Youtube "comedian"
>800,000 subscribers
>Ashley gets like 500 views per video
There's something wrong with this world
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Thursday Bill Gates launched a new podcast called "Unconfuse Me." ("What do you do when you can't solve a problem? I like to talk to smart people who can help me understand the subject better...")

>Join me on my learning journey as I talk to brilliant guests about Alzheimer's, artificial intelligence, the future of education, plant-based meat, the evolution of language, marijuana, and more.

The first words of the first episode are a clip of Seth Rogen saying "Edibles? I don't mess with that. Snoop Dogg doesn't eat edibles. Like, that's how wild the variation on edibles is, and I do not recommend this."

Then Bill Gates' voice says "I love learning, even if a topic's complex, I like to see if I can figure it out..." People reports that the 67-year-old Microsoft co-founder and former CEO also spoke to Rogen and his wife Lauren Miller about the future of Alzheimer's research:

>With studies showing that "40% of cases" are preventable, according to Rogen, the "five brain healthy habits" in their framework are important: sleep, exercise, nutrition, mental fitness and emotional well-being.

>He even confessed that his being a celebrity encourages people to better care for themselves. "I taught this coursework of brain health, and we've also had a neurologist teach the coursework, and we scientifically proved that people retain information better from celebrities than doctors, which is it's a heavy burden," he joked, adding that this information "was published..."

>Miller also shared that she goes to a neurologist and the pair are both "open" with their doctors about their habits, and "no one" in the medical world has told them that smoking weed is bad for their brain health. They even believe its benefits of boosting hunger and relieving stress might be good for preventing Alzheimer's. "It's not federally legal, so there isn't money to fund research," Miller said.

>Gates later concluded the podcast with his own funny anecdote, laughing about his first time he ever smoked weed — back when it was a "rebellious" thing to do. "In school out of the, say 105 people in my class I think, there were three or four who didn't smoke," he said. "Because it was kind of a, 'Hey, I'm an adult! Hey I can break the rules!' But I will say, sometimes it's like, I guess I'm doing this to be cool. It wasn't so much smoking for pot's sake."
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Replies: >>11299 >>11304
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>>11243
Gates isnt cringe he just has Asperger's!
besides, can someone be cringe and do this??? 

ppsssshhh didnt think so kid
Replies: >>11303
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>>11299
I'd like to see you try that in a small town, reppie scum.
Replies: >>11313
>>11243
All the good Sal Khan had ever done to humanity by teaching millions for free, was swept away,  negated completely by not stabbing Bill Gates then and there when he wouldn't have suspected.
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>>11303
¿Cómo llamas a esas botas?

I love you Ashley

<3
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>>11139
everyone was new once, including you.
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>>11086
What the fuck did you just fucking say about my waifu you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the AIDF, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on image boards, and I have over 22 confirmed GETS. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in my entire FORTNITE clan. You are nothing to me but just another target. 
I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment about Ashley was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. 
But you couldn't. 
You didn't.
And now you're going to to pay the price, you goddamn sack of shit. 
I will shit and piss white hot fury all over you and you will drown in it. 

You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Replies: >>11161 >>11164
>>11159
That picture is Ashton in 10 years. The CRTs, the lack of facial hair, the aggression. Still would.
>>11159
looks mad comfy except ashton needs to black out those curtains
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC73Os9NmZE

>>10000 GET
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>>11121
Would you care for some candy? Come on over to my van
Replies: >>11124 >>11125
>>11123
Kids dont like candy these days. Now if you offer discord nitro i'll suck more than your lollipop.
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>>11123
>>11121
>Now I know what kind of vlog I'm gonna make you.

You've been saying that you would make a vlog for MONTHS!!!

 I, along with others, genuinely want to see it
Replies: >>11186
>>11157
I've never said I was making a vlog. I only now say vlog because Ashley recently asked for one on CyTube and only Ashley would be allowed to watch it because I don't make videos for gay boys like you to cum tribute.

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11000 GET FUCKED
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Replies: >>11045 + 2 earlier
>>11027
I'll have you know I just masturbated to this >>11003 and I blame Ashley for posting the fart horny again
Replies: >>11030
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>>11029
I like how irritated and indignant her voice is
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>>11011
>>11012
>>11014
>>11022
Hey everyone, sad news...

so I went off to contemplate on going thru and roping myself over not getting my prized GET.
A few hours later, when i came back to my room, I found the plate empty and my delicious sandwich had gone.
he drank all my liquor bottles and ran off somewhere. No doubt because of the mean comments he read about himself on here.
The poor guy probably jumped off a bridge somewhere, and is now floating down river, a broken, soggy mess of a sandwich.
Whilst I can take a joke, some others cant, please be careful what you say to people online. 
Cyber bullying is a serious issue.
Thankyou for reading this post.

>>11000 (OP)  congratulations on another successful GET btw Derrick, unfortunately it cost me a friend.
Replies: >>11047 >>11048
>>11045
At least he had good taste in drinks...  RIP in peace to the six-time Undisputed WWE Universal Champion, Roman Reigns
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>>11045

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Can somebody tell me what the hell Ashley Jones does cause I have ben watching her for a bit and I still don't know
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Replies: >>10972
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She brings laughter and joy into our sad, pathetic, lonely lives.
Replies: >>10968
>>10953
>>10956
Dont forget she is also a special needs teacher as well.
God bless her sweet heart.
Replies: >>10970
>>10968
Wrong, she's a special needs student, not a teacher.
Replies: >>10971
>>10970
Ashley is very special to me :)))))))
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>>10938 (OP) 
She throws car batteries into the sea, its safe, fun and legal

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666
Replies: >>10833 >>10834
Dont cut yourself with that edge
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>>10831 (OP) 
>instagram
>>10831 (OP) 
You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried th
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Replies: >>10845
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>>10834
You will never be a real breakfast plate. You have no bacon, you have no toast, you have no freshly fried eggs. You are a sandwich twisted by croissants and grease into a crude mockery of nature's perfection.
All the "Mmm this is yummy" statements you get are two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your crispy, flakey back people mock you. Your chefs are disgusted and ashamed of you, your square-shaped "hash brown" sides laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed kitchen doors.
Foodies are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of culinary evolution have allowed eaters to sniff out breakfast frauds with incredible efficiency. Even breakfast sandwiches that "pass" look uncanny and unnatural to an eater. Your bread is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy to take a bite out of you, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your pre-packaged, frozen sausage patty.
You will never be delicious. You wrench out a fake breakfast aroma every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the processed cheese creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll buy a bottle of ketchup, unscrew the cap, pour it onto a plate, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your hungry diners will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame a
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Replies: >>10850
>>10845
As a breakfast plate appreciator, this is not only accurate but hilarious.

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YOU'RE ALL GAY HOMOSEXUALS

ALL YOU DO IS TALK ABOUT YOUR COCKS AND OTHER GUYS COCKS AND CUM AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE COCKS AND CUM AND FORESKINS

>>1294
>>1363
>>3506
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>>3182
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>>5516
>>5674
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>>10763
>btw the salute seabee flag is now officially known as the Cuck Lives Matter flag.
Official to who? Don't bully Seabee, the man's a god damn american hero
>>10731

Chief diversity officer, Larry Schwartz Cox.
Replies: >>10805
>>10804

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s96wXNlKEnk
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And I love faggots, come here and let me give you a blowjob
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