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## Board Owner No.29878 [Open]
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Tubsisters, I have decided to take my job as a journalist seriously. I am now the head writer of the Tubgurl Monthly Column.

In this thread your posts may be addressed in future Tubgurl Monthly Columns.

IN THIS THREAD, POST:
Questions (Can be about anything at all. Questions do not have to be about me.)
Ask for opinions on any topic (personal or opinions on anything)
Ask for advice on any situation or topic
Ask for feedback on something you've done or created

You are welcome to request certain characters to answer your questions or provide their opinion, advice, etc. For example, you can specify that a certain question is for Chester, Derrick, Antiques Guy, etc. and they will answer accordingly. Example: "Hey Ashley, what do you think about grapefruits? I'd also like to hear Barry's take on this."

New monthly columns will be linked in this thread when published on my website: https://dukenukemis.cool/monthly-column/
27 replies and 11 files omitted. View the full thread
No.30264 
>>30256
Oh nonono kiwkikesubhumanbullyretardsluttas,,, not like this! no no no! The twisted tragic neurotic genius can't have sex with a blonde white woman in europe while I am having sex with a rented cow in pakistan!!!! NO!
Replies: >>30266
No.30265 
>>30256
That poor girl...
No.30266 
>>30264
Kiwifags will try to find a way to make this a bad thing. Sure Chris is pathetic, but its even more pathetic to have a kiwifarms account.
No.30269
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>>30256
No.30271 
>>30256
With the blue hair I can't tell if it's Chris Chan or Ashley
No.12871 [Open]
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ITT we gripe about regrets we have.

>I will never date a 12 year old Ashley
10 replies and 7 files omitted. View the full thread
Replies: >>30250 + 1 earlier
No.30246 
>>30245
I didn't see enough
Replies: >>30249
No.30249 
>>30245
>>30246
after omegle went down, I missed it so much that I created my own offline omegle clone. It looks just like omegle, except that the two webcams are just me. Sometimes I get my cock out and skip myself and act frustrated. My interests are always "lesbians"
No.30250 
>>12871 (OP) 
Still creepy
Replies: >>30251 >>30252
No.30251 
>>30250
I agree Chester, she's too old.
No.30252 
>>30250
Its only creepy if he didnt pull out
No.9626 [Open]
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Third in a series of EROTIC TALES starring  the alluring and captivating world renowned comedienne, Ashley Jones.

Disclaimer: EROTIC TALES is a seperate entity and is not associated with JONES TOWN PRODUCTIONS or its affiliates.

                     --------- A FRUITFUL EXPERIENCE -----------

I arrived home, my partner and I have been working on finishing a basement. Customer wants a man cave. He said that it will be a good place to escape from his wife. He has some cool pin ball machines and neon bar memorabilia. As I was pulling into my driveway I glanced at the house next door to see if she was home but I couldn't tell for sure. Maybe she was at a garage sale or second hand store.

I put the coffee on and jumped in the shower. After the shower I was about to pour myself a cup of fresh made coffee when I heard a gentle unobtrusive knock on the door. I could tell by the polite knock that it was her. I opened the door and it was. Why does my heart BPM go from 45 to 90 whenever I first see her?  She stood there with a CO2 tank in one hand and a regulator and a clear plastic bag of fruit in the other hand. She said "HI" and I invited her in.

She said that she couldn't attach her tank to the regulator. I took a look and saw the problem. She needed a threaded reducer fitting. We went into the garage and rooted through my hardware drawer and found exactly what she needed. I sealed the threads with some teflon tape, installed the fitting and it was good to go. She thanked me and we went back into the house.

I asked her that as long as she was here would she like to stay for dinner. She said, "Seabee, you know I'm a vegan." I replied in the affirmative and told her that I downloaded a vegan recipe that I thought she might like and on the way home from work I stopped at the market and picked up the necessary ingredients. She seemed impressed with my thoughtfulness and asked about the recipe. I told her that it was vegan lasagna. She licked her sweet lips and asked if I would be eating the same. I told her that I had made a big pot of chilli. It would have been vegan except for the chop meat that I added.

I gave the Ash the downloaded recipe and got the ingredients from the fridge. She spread the ingredients on the kitchen counter and set the oven to pre heat it and I took some chill out of the big pot to heat up a little later. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat in the dining room to keep her company while she was prepping her lasagna in the kitchen.
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8 replies and 5 files omitted. View the full thread
No.9783 
>>9745
>To keep me out of trouble with the assistant principal, she had me sit by her in class and she was genuinely disappointed with me not doing my assignments but still passed me
> She caught me looking up porn on a laptop and didn't make a fuss about it
>I once walked in on her changing in her classroom after school

Passing you whilst you never did your assignments barbecues you were watching pornographic material and you walked in on her changing?!?!? 
i have bad news for you anon. You have autism and could have fucked your 8th grade English teacher and could have lived the dream!... Either that or she recognized your brilliant mind and wanted you to go onto bigger and brighter things like shitposting on img boards

>>9750
You went to a Catholic high school and never got molested?!?! Youre unironically lucky, me? not so much...
Replies: >>9785 >>9827
No.9785
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>>9783
I had gym class once a week and after gym class you had to take a shower. After the shower you couldn't just remove a towel from the shelf, no. The two gym teachers handed out the towels so they could watch our young nubile bodies.
No.9827 
>>9783
She knew I was smarter than everyone else she taught and she probably liked that I was a bad boy. I have mentioned here before that I was T.J. Detweiler in middle school. When she had caught me looking up porn in class, we had borrowed those laptops from the school library to do a project and I had found a way to circumvent the internet filter, Bess. Here's an article on Bess if you don't know what it is. https://ncac.org/resource/internet-filters#BESS
No.10599 
bump
No.30207 
bumping for more seabee stories
No.4630 [Open]
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A thread dedicated to those who enjoy any literary works ranging from various genres and categories can be posted and discussed here.
106 replies and 71 files omitted. View the full thread
No.28692 
>>28691
I find that both are enjoyable. Who doesn't like being read to? Audio books are like radio serials. In my opinion, that's the next logical step for audio books is for them to become acted radio serials if that's not already being done. That's an aspect of AI I'm interested in. I'd like to train AI models on voices I'm familiar with so that they can read to me. I'd much rather have Ashley read me a story than say Morgan Freeman. I use audio books two ways. I will use an audio book I've already listened to as ambience and I will use an audio book to motivate me to actually read the book by listening to a chapter and then actually reading it or vice versa. I zone out as well reading books and listening to long winded speeches but it's tolerable if you only do one chapter at a time.
No.28766 
>>28691
I listen to audiobooks all the time at work, there's a YouTube channel that has AI generated voices of celebrities reading books, it's not perfect but it's still quite enjoyable. Christian Bale reading 'American Psycho' as Patrick Bateman was pretty funny. 'The Shining' narrated by Jack Nicholson and 'Fight Club' by Edward Norton are decent also. 

https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=weu-9woaYQM

In general, the best audiobooks are usually the ones narrated by the author themselves since they know how to portray their characters, 'The Exorcist' is a good example. Audiobooks that are abridged are garbage and defeats the purpose of storytelling when a good chunk of the material is removed just for the sake of time. I got halfway through Hannibal, which was narrated by the author, before realizing that a lot of parts were missing and I had to listen to it again from the beginning with another narrator who was unfortunately British but alteast I got to hear the full story as it was written.

Some novels can be difficult to read because of the writing style. Reading 'Blood Meridian' by Cormac McCarthy was challenging at first but I eventually got used to it. The audiobook narrated by Richard Poe is excellent.
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No.29162 
Hey guys, I just want to stop by to say thanks for posting, especially about mind hunter. I want to learn to empathize with strange minds so that I can write better characters without making it all a slog. High culture has to be fun, and have the potential for individualized experience.
No.29332 
I am reading this web serial. It is one of the first times I've so thoroughly, consciously enjoyed a "character-driven" fiction. A character so deeply and comically neurotic, but so easy to empathize with because the root of his obsession is the desire to be someone truly great. Sometimes he seems like the most pathetic fucking thing, sometimes I just plain love the character, sometimes at the same time. I believe that having multiple simultaneous emotional reactions to a story/character indicate something very very special.

Increasingly the actual story is just about his actions in a fantasy world, and while the world and story are cleverly unique. Still a cut above most web fiction, and I enjoyed flashback chapters that characterized the authentically foolish main character way more.

You might worry about the whole story being a dull "woah capitalism corporations bad and ruin everything" rehash from the name and the setting, but the author hasn't fixated on anything trite.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/90222/crippling-debt-isekai-fantasy-slow-burn-progression

I considering making an account on royalroad (you can't review from tor/vpn) just to post a review on site.
No.30170
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No.10855 [Open]
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Racism is bad. Sexism is bad. Homophobia is bad. I detest all forms of bigotry. I read Karl Popper and John Rawls, and I agree with them.

In all earnestness, if it's over then politeness becomes the only proper modus vivendi,
and the is manifested as the liberal values documented above. There is nothing left apart from stoic, cultured self-aufhebung. Life is a mistake and, as Schopenhauer said, a prison; to properly adjust one's expectations, one must treat it as such.
195 replies and 73 files omitted. View the full thread
No.30132 
>>30100
https://www.newsweek.com/half-russians-want-putin-withdraw-troops-ukraine-1957290

https://www.newsweek.com/russia-losses-ukraine-tanks-troops-1957280
No.30133 
>>30100
They are supported by America though.
No.30135 
I think Russia is delusional just like how trannies think they are women. I wish they would both just do the world a favor and off themselves. Russian soldiers are already doing it, what's keeping trannies?
No.30144 
fed thread
No.30146 
This is a "fed thread". The FBI is currently monitoring this board to make sure all electronic devices owned by "Ashley Jones" are within FCC regulations and oscillate below 9 kHz and do not interfere with other devices nor cause risk or harm to the public. If you have any tips regarding any alleged illegal activity. Please contact Special Agent Mark Michalek of the FBI Denver Field Office at (303) 629-7171 or you can leave an anonymous tip at tips.fbi.gov. Thank you and we love the little police car flag. It's quite the foreshadowing.
No.24285 [Open]
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hello ashley jones, why are you such a cutie?
155 replies and 32 files omitted. View the full thread
No.28615 
>>28597
>>28598
>>28605
>3. Has very thick and deep rooted pubic hair and is unable to shave
https://icum.to/ashleyjones/
Replies: >>28618
No.28618 
>>28615
you never know how much of that is the truth, half-truths or complete bullshit. Also that only applies to shaving, I specifically mentioned trimming.
No.28628
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Do you guys know what happens when a girl truly lets her bush go fully natural, and never trims?

Do you know what happens?

I know what happens. Sometimes, I wish I didn't. It's not information for the faint hearted.

I'll tell you guys if you really want to know, but don't say I didn't warn you.
No.28629
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>Pubic Hair Grooming Injuries Presenting to U.S. Emergency Departments
>From 2002 to 2010, an observed 335 actual ED visits for GU injury related to grooming products provided an estimated 11,704 incidents (95% confidence interval 8430-15,004).
https://sci-hub.ru/https://doi.org/10.1016/j.urology.2012.08.025

Hope that smooth vagina was worth it, ladies.
No.30138 
omg ashley is so cute and adorable
i just wanna pat her head, hug her and lock her up in my basement!
is that really too much to ask for?
No.315 [Open]
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So what do you boys make of this latest bit of degeneracy that's been making the rounds?

Personally, I wish more people would follow rule #1 IRL.

>Photos and videos out of a Canadian High School are going viral as they show a male teacher wearing what appears to be large, prosthetic breasts in full view of young students.

>Shocking media first began to circulate on Twitter earlier this week, with multiple accounts sharing a mobile phone video and stills of a shop teacher demonstrating how to use a circular saw.

>The teacher is seen wearing an extremely prominent prosthetic bust, one which clearly outlines the nipples through his tight shirt. He is also donning a bright blonde wig and short-shorts.

https://nitter.dark.fail/reduxxmag/status/1570749355736592387
https://reduxx.info/ontario-high-school-teacher-seen-wearing-massive-prosthetic-bust-to-teach/
320 replies and 119 files omitted. View the full thread
No.29970 
>>29966
That girl giving him love taps with the tray was most likely fired afterwards.
No.29974 
>>29966
Initiations to get into MS-13 sure have changed since the Biden administration amirite political faggots?
Replies: >>29975
No.29975 
>>29974
Videos like >>29966 make me wish Ashley would make more "Tosh.Hoe" videos. Not as long as her first one and not all the time, just once in a while would be nice, just surprise us with it. I like to imagine that Linda is at home watching it and it would cut to her laughing after Ashley made a joke and Barry says something like 

"I don't get it, you like this garbage? You know who was really funny, Linda, Johnny Carson. Now he was a real class act. Hey, Linda, remember Ed McMahon? Heeeeere's Johnny! Linda... Heeeeere's Johnny!"

"Barry, stop. That's creepy. Don't say that."
No.29976 
Another weirdo losing it. I would have actually let this guy hit me so I could burst into laughter and tell him "this isn't even my final form."
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=1E6btVZxr0Y?si=3jrSoF4IAdY4jiG-
No.30022
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Is this why Ashley dislikes trannies so much?
No.5846 [Open]
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any other spacehey users?
https://spacehey.com/acid_eagle
cool privacy respecting myspace clone
63 replies and 15 files omitted. View the full thread
No.29874 
>>29858
I thought that's what we called her videos.
Replies: >>29909
No.29909 
>>29858
>>29874

Kek
shorts = videos
https://blog.hootsuite.com/youtube-shorts/
Here is another "lesbian shorts":
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=L3xV1NV1U0A
No.29962 
>>29829
That might have been my fault guys.
i dont have any friends so I used her service to order a lot of dinner with a friend scenarios. Strictly friends, nothing weird or sexual. thats just gross (no offence Ash)
Anyways, I ordered so many of them that Ashley had to tell me we had to stop and she was unable to offer this service anymore. i asked how come? and she replied that due to me buying so many dinners she had gained a lot of weight and then I said yeah Ive noticed...
and bros let me tell you, she went ape shit! swearing, cursing, threats, throwing things at the webcam. at one point she picked up Bandit 3 and I guess in her emotional state she thought she could sic her dog onto me thru the webcam somehow? Bizarre but I guess women are like that am i right fellas? heh
but yeah, sorry for ruining it for everyone and if Ashley is reading this sorry you gained so much weight. just put on your lesbian shorts and hit the treadmill, you'll work the pounds off in no time (maybe).
Replies: >>29971 >>29972
No.29971
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>>29962
No.29972
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>>29962
No.27453 [Open]
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Anytime I make a new video I will link it in this thread and it can be discussed here. This is better than making a new thread for every new video.
134 replies and 61 files omitted. View the full thread
No.29943 
>>29942
NTA but it wasnt funny and I regret reading all of it.
No.29945 
>>29942
Imagine having no balls
No.29946 
>>29879
>https://dukenukemis.cool/news/
>I've grown more and more distant from crazy humor and have grown more interested in technology instead.
I suggest that you also post your vintage technology videos ( https://videos.icum.to/c/toploadedduke/videos ) on YouTube to reach a wider audience, since they don't usually contain "crazy humor" that may attract censorship.
Replies: >>29947 >>29948
No.29947
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>>29946
>suggesting to Ashley Jones, daughter of Luke Smith, to use G**gle
>a woman who doesn't even own a smart phone
>a woman who wont even use microwaves
>a woman who constantly talks about how much she hates G**gle
Lurk moar, newfag.
No.29948 
>>29946
Have you watched any of her videos or read anything on her website?
No.14532 [Open]
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We're taking a look at the true crime story of Chester. How has one seemingly normal and caring man betrayed the trust of everyone, including the Minnetonka Police Department? Find out as I unravel Chester's lies.

https://videos.icum.to/w/gnur98dyYaxt1NRagu7qVY
43 replies and 25 files omitted. View the full thread
Replies: >>29927 + 6 earlier
No.14863
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r8 my new gf
No.15340
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I am thankful for this scene, its given me a new fetish "distressed Mexican housekeepers who walk in on something unexpected"
Replies: >>15348
No.15348
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>>15340
No.15702
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>>14577
No.29927 
>>14532 (OP) 
When I watched this video "Woman Doesn't Realize Her Tinder Date Is A Killer" (3m15s):
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=sLTuIr7MRdw?t=195
it reminds me of Ashley's video:
https://videos.icum.to/w/gnur98dyYaxt1NRagu7qVY?start=8m21s
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