/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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Hello welcome to GETS, what can I GET you?

Yes hi, I would like a GET please.

Fine.... which number would you like?

I'll take 13000 thank you

Fine... would you like any (You)'s with that?

Yes please.

Fine... That will be.... umm hold on.... that will be $8.69

I think you mean $10.98
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>>14437
Sorry, I can't regale you with tales of unbridled sex with Afghan women because:

1)   Islamic culture forbids unmarried Afghan women to partake in sex as well as married women other than with their husband. It's ingrained in them. It's extremely rare but if it happens and the woman is found out she will probably be stoned to death.

2) It's illegal for a serviceman to be intimate with the locals and the serviceman could face a few years in the brig.

3) Afghan women didn't do it for me, 2/10 on a good day. They're very far from being Ashley tier to name just one

4)  Even if I was horny enough and knew I could get away with it I'd be too tired. Up at 05:00 travel to the job site and work 'till 17:30, back to the base camp, dinner then fill sand bags to replace damaged sand bags around base camp fortifications, then base camp perimeter security duty to make sure no Taliban psychos try an incursion into the camp. Security duty lasted "till the next morning but at least if you pulled security duty you got to go back to bed after breakfast and sleep "till around noon and then go back to work.

   Like the saying goes, "It's not just a job, it's an adventure."     Heh, heh
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>>14440
Sure, stable girls are a staple of our society.
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>>14445
this is my favourite staple girl 🤣🤣🤣
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>>14450

Heh. heh, then I guess we won't need one of these
>>14450
The post that saved /ashleyj/

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https://www.youtube.com/embed/hc4gc4RWhH0
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>>14256
Replies: >>14370
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>>10578 (OP) 
That's not Ashley with Sam, it's this girl. Apparently, they both have a thing for Egg Foo Young.
https://endchan.org/agatha2/res/24139.html
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reminder that ash wants to fuck this thing
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>>14295
>>14277
webp is evil.

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Anyone else here doing Pride Event 2023 in RuneScape Classic? Check out my character. I'm a level 69 courtesan. I've been sucking dick at the Blue Moon Inn for coin so I can get one of those nice jumpers like Ashton has for my son, Derrick.
https://secure.runescape.com/m=news/a=13/pride-event-2023?oldschool=1
Btw, I'm not really Derrick's mom. I'm just roleplaying. It's my favorite thing to do in the bedroom.
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>>9330
>>9331
>>9333
>>9350
https://d4reflection.org/
also dont gib blizard money
Replies: >>9392
>>9390
>https://d4reflection.org/
whoa seems cool. info on website is a little scant though, I'm guessing this is a private server? Do they have custom features? Pirated version of the game OK? Gimmie the QRD anon, I don't use discord because mommy ashley said not to and she's right
Replies: >>9393
>>9392
Torrent a copy of d4 (or if you want their launcher will actually torrent it for you I think). Install the game then install the reflection launcher and they basically facilitate the all the server/network stuff that battlenet does. So you load up the game through the reflection launcher. Make sure battlenet isn't running. Full disclosure I haven't tried it yet but I have everything installed. Going to try it later tonight when I'm not busy. Let me know if you try it maybe we can play together.
Replies: >>9395 >>14334
>>9393
>or if you want their launcher will actually torrent it for you I think
Unfathomably based. I had a feeling it would be good when I saw the trailer was hosted on VK heh.
It'll probably be a while before I have a chance to get set up but I would be very interested in hearing about your experience, plz report back anon.
Replies: >>14334
>>9393
>>9395
With the benefit of 4 months later, from what Ive read about Diablo 4. Its probably not worth the effort.

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Derrick... your dad and I have something to tell you. We got the get.
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>>14030
I gotta be honest, since you mentioned the obese Weird Paul bikini pic, I was expecting your dream to be erotic.
Regardless Im going to play armchair psychologist and over ANALyze you dream.
here we go...

>It wasn't overtly populated but there was enough female competition
>there were other females and males, I will admit I was a little jealous of the females
interesting that in this dream you view other women as competition and have feelings of jealously towards them

Something else that also reoccurs is your denial of your feelings.
>Well, I wouldn't say I have a crush on Weird Paul only because I'm respectful of the fact that he's in a long term committed relationship with his wife, so it would be wrong of me to have a crush on a married man
>I will admit I was a little jealous of the females, but I was consciously trying to cast those wrong feelings aside.

>Anyways, I think he gave me a letter he wrote with a crayon
my interpretation of this is that in your dream, you view yourself as a child, as crayons are often associated as something children use, and him handing you a letter written in crayon is a reflection of that.
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>>14034
Sounds like you're suggesting the Peter Pan Syndrome.
Replies: >>14060
>>14034
>you see yourself as a child who is inferior compared to other woman and this insecurity leads you to be jealous of said woman, whom you also see as competition. This is something that you often struggle with and try to suppress. 
You want to please those that you look up to but you are afraid that they will view you as strange and reject you, so you try to shield yourself from this by reducing the amount of time spent engaging with them.

in other words, Ashley is female
>>14042
hmmm yes... perhaps thats why she likes Michael Jackson, she can relate to him as he had that as well











...plus he and her like little boys! BOOOOOOOOM ROASTED!
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>>14030
This is a lot like an allegorical dream of me and Ashley. Weird Paul is a representation of me and Ashley's restlessness and repressed emotions regarding me. It's an MMO because we only converse online and she views the situation as an unwinnable game with no end. The letter signifies she is most significant. The crayon signifies I touch her inner child. No, Chris Hansen, I will not take a seat. The McDonald's themed playset is a reference to me squatting at McDonald's all the time to use the WiFi and is actually a representation of a dollhouse that could possibly mean Ashley's desire to control a family of her own so as to make up for the past mistakes of a dominant parental figure. Ashley, you can wear the pants. I'd prefer to not wear any with you.

(I've actually written shitposts here in crayon when I was afk and considered just uploading the pic of them instead of typing them out on my phone.)

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New Ashley video will be premiering LIVE today around 4:50pm EST, right before Endchan's monthly movie. There will be a live chat. Come join us: https://cytu.be/r/endcorner

Update: Stream is over. Watch the new video here: https://videos.icum.to/w/qxiVTowoo1YsZ8Y2KhjLem

Thank you to Endchan and for everyone who came. Now post your drawings, boys.
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>>3015
As far as I know, Tencent has a minority share in Discord. The Chinese have a minority share in a lot of American companies. I'm not sure if Tencent is a willing puppet of the CCP but I do know the CCP does have some influence over them. It would be expected that their gov't would want to influence users on their network. Our gov't does that too. The majority of Chinese actually support their gov't so it wouldn't be farfetched that they would work with them when asked. There might be consequences if they don't. Last I heard, Tencent is on thin ice with the CCP. Due to recent gov't regulations, they lost a lot of stock value and the company is on life support. I don't know what's the hubbub with TikTok. I don't use it. It seems pointless. I know it's owned by a Chinese company. I know Trump started a pissing contest with them and it's a big deal in Washington right now. Just seems like an old fashioned Yellow Peril to me, which is as American as apple pie. I've been hearing the Chinese were going to take over the world for the past three decades. They can't even take their island back.
Replies: >>3296
>>3294
>I've been hearing the Chinese were going to take over the world for the past three decades. They can't even take their island back.
underrated opinion. "muh china is coming" and "ccp le evil" is such a boomer take. the same evil that controls china exists here. china is the staging ground for their global plans (social credit etc). if you want to know what's coming to the west, take a look at china.
however, this isn't an endorsement of their aptitude for social domination. take for example the "great firewall" of china. the project wasn't even fully realized until like 2006. to this day it is easily circumvented (well, easily if you know what you're doing). point is, the dinosaurs in charge didn't even say, "hmm, this internet thing could be a problem for keeping the masses under control" until the mid 2000s. morons. here in the west, in modern times, we've taken a different tact: cancel culture. don't like what someone is saying? no laws necessary - just get their hosting providers to shut them down, cut off their access to financial services, etc. which method of censorship is more effective is yet to be seen, but I suspect its the latter, actually.
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>>3296
This is the global elitist and founder of the World Economic Forum that I would be concerned about. Klaus Schwab declared on Chinese State TV that China is a model for many nations.
Replies: >>3598 >>14151
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>>3298
Yeah, this guy is a real jerk. He wants to merge outworld with ours. He's no match for Rex Kwon Do, though. Just break the wrist, walk away.
>>3298
Antichrist

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Post the music you're listening to and the music you're makin'
Deaf people are NOT ALLOWED in this thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29Su4UIy7Yc
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GN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p4mY8TmnJ8
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this hit harder than domestic abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCdHfHTu3nk
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https://youtu.be/jd6XL_IOS3I?feature=shared
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>>14068
She looked better with a bloody nose.

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G E T
Replies: >>13964
>>13960 (OP) 
plz delete

not me just looks like me but you can make it work if you want.jpg
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Let's make this clear. This is NOT a gay thread at all. I need videos of men jacking off or cumming to pictures of me, I know at least 2 exist and I can't find them. This is for a future video I'm working on at the moment. If you for some reason don't have those videos saved, you are welcum to cumtribute your own.

Do not post them in this thread. Post them on the old gay tranny board, that way I can get what I want without messing up this board with gay shit. Visit the old board at your own risk, while you wont get any viruses from this board, you might get the HIV virus from the old board.
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>>13933
JLP is pretty wacky with a lot of his beliefs, like he thinks the soul is in your belly and stuff, not sure if he's claimed anything similar to what I was getting at as it's a lot more mystical or /x/ related then I've heard him get into before. Basically I was commenting on the nature of the unseen astral plane, schizoposting, in other words, I have no comment on the psychological aspect of any of this as I am retarded.
>>13933
Also that's pretty funny that JLP is into gay stuff, many such cases in the  NIGGER  African American community
>>13933
>SVNTV
SVTVN
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>>13937
< RETVRN TV TRVDVTVVVVV
>>13917
>>13924
>>13933
I have no commentary other than to say that as someone who visits this board a few times a day as part of my "alt chan" rotation, I really appreciate the lengthy effort posts and discussion. Know that your thoughts are read and enjoyed and please feel free to make more well thought out posts like this in the future.

Nasty fucks
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>>13727
filters are getting really good. the left is ashley with filters off and the right is ashley with filters on.
Replies: >>13747
>>13742
tbh, it would be funny to see her in one of those prosthetic fat suits
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>>13747
no it wouldn't
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>>13868
yeah it would
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>>13869
no

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I interviewed Styx for real, but his original answers were totally unamusing to me. So I completely altered my questions afterwards and took his statements completely out of context. This is the result.

https://videos.icum.to/w/1TYCwZtYMbJeZRtn95TbD5
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>>13270
That's correct, I'm CEO.
Replies: >>13290 >>13291
>>13270
But I am looking to merger with another company ;)
>>13276
Rise and grind bb
>Cbig
>Egay
>hOmosexual
Replies: >>13291 >>13583
>>13276
>>13290
HA! YOU JUST GOT FUCKING OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNED LITTLE BITCH NIGGER KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE REKT
Replies: >>13583
>>13290
You're gay too but for far less money. It may be back to work for me, but it's back to Grindr for you.

>>13291
Ha! My family used to own your little bitch nigger mom. We did own slaves but I'm referring to the dog. KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE REKT, etc. and whatever other pea-brained crap you Pavlovian responders answer to.

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