/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


New Thread
Name
×
Email
Subject
Message
Files Max 5 files19.1MB total
Password
Flag
Captcha*
[New Thread]


tubgurl.mp4
[Hide] (13.3MB, 720x480, 03:04)
Hello. Welcome to Ashley Jones' imageboard. 

Who is Ashley Jones? She is a globally recognized, world renowned, no longer underage, female comedienne, technology enthusiast, free software advocate. She made her debut in 2014 after upsetting 2+ million purple people on WorldStarHipHop.

Watch my videos: https://videos.icum.to
Go to my website: https://icum.to

9dbf4497ec5c443fedd6890a0b4da4d81f711a06e06ef66ef7689bccae91df9c.png
[Hide] (276.5KB, 620x349)
ASHLEYS AWARDS SHOW IS SOON TO AIR LIVE ON THE INTERNET
An entire year's worth of curating weird submissions in forms of videos, news stories, and generally strange and bizarre people, will all compete for an award, hosted by yours truly, Ashley Jones. Join Ashley on her first Tosh.Hoe Awards Show, which is pre-recorded but aired LIVE on https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones

THE AWARDS SHOW AIRS LIVE SUNDAY DECEMBER 31ST, 2023 AT:
8pm PST | 9pm MST | 10pm CST | 11pm EST
https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones

Invite anyone who may be interested.
15 replies and 3 files omitted. View the full thread
>>15860
agree this is mad comfy
>>15695
Yes, I also loved Tosh.0 when it was on the air. I guess it couldn't survive today's social climate, it was one of the shows that really poked fun at everyone and everything, never taking anything too seriously. Fun fact, I found Popstar Nima (cleaning out my asshole guy) through Tosh.0. I always liked the style of Tosh and the Ashley "Tosh.Hoe" Awards Show is an homage to it. I needed an excuse to write jokes away from my characters, and this style of show was a good way to get away from the usual "character skit" which I don't want to be type-cast as. What's ironic is Tosh is a copy of The Soup. It's like a human centipede of comedy shows. The Soup -> Tosh - > Me.

>>15697
Pretty much, and I actually ended up using almost nothing from the Cuckies thread. Even though I gave it a fair shot, I couldn't work in news stories into an entertaining video format. It would rely on too much context/explanation, which could get boring when I prefer writing jokes in rapid succession rather than drawn out. Since the news stories relied too much on explanation/context, I found bizarre videos to nominate for awards instead. The viewer would be more entertained seeing a funny or strange video rather than hear a tired re-telling of a story. Though it's possible I could still work in some news stories, as a few recent submissions are really fu
Message too long. View the full text
Replies: >>15867 >>15873
>>15865
https://youtu.be/qDnJBeBC_XY?si=tm_qLp5AJN9p0KS3
>>15860
agreed, this is her best seasoned theme yet, especially the postform box

>>15865
>I'm very excited about the upcoming Ashley Awards. I've been writing it and I think it's pretty good.
I personally will be attending the awards dressed up in my best attire.............. ok fine its just pajama pants that need washing and a tshirt with holes and tin spaghetti stains fml
1eae1400e971989ca6bebe92974d80de46229fc15723730a0c5c843661ce596d.jpg
[Hide] (152.5KB, 800x800)
legit excited for this shit

ashley.jpg
[Hide] (19.9KB, 373x384)
The cum tribby thread has CUM to a CLIMAX, CUMMING to its maximum LOAD of replies
94 replies and 52 files omitted. View the full thread
>>15874
Why are you the way you are
Replies: >>15877 >>15882
>>15874
It was
>>15875
its like would u rather a nice pinky juicy steak or an overcooked dry steak
>>15875
You're not a man if you don't find 15 year old women attractive.
Replies: >>15892
>>15882
Then I'm very, VERY masculine because I find 5 year old women attractive

5.png
[Hide] (48.7KB, 466x190)
Post your custom banners and I will upload them (if they are good enough) to this board. They must be this size: 466 width x 190 height
74 replies and 46 files omitted. View the full thread
>>15884
You think I don’t know that retard? Can’t you tell I’m trying to ask Ashley a question? I don’t remember asking you a goddamn thing. Shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone post malone friend zone sylvester stallone hydrocortisone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone head ass tf up
Replies: >>15887
>>15886
@retard calm down faggot #kys #newfag #simp
Read the OP.
Replies: >>15888
loli_ashley_kill_self.jpg
[Hide] (217.8KB, 778x1276)
>>15887
I'm assuming he's asking whether or not the resolution "restrictions" still apply because some of the currently live banners don't conform to that standard. The poster doesn't have the mental capacity to infer that the resolution requirement isn't so much a rule as a strong preference; uniformity of size makes the board look nicer. However, Ashley not being a stickler for precision, has made a few exceptions for particularly funny or noteworthy banners (e.g., the Tosh advertisement). Therefore, the best way to proceed with any new banners would simply be to use the requested resolution. Personally, I think the poster just wanted to feel special by getting Ashley to respond to him directly on the board, thus inflating his personal sense of importance.

When called out on the method used to address the board owner (Ashley), which is a method used on Twitter, Discord, and other normie and zoomer-centric platforms, the poster became aggressive and angry, perhaps as the result of sexual frustration due to his attraction for Ashley (and the inevitability of other anons "getting in his way"). He then desperately attempted to be funny, knowing that the object of his unrequited affection enjoys comedy. Unfortunately, he just copy/pasted an overlong mishmash of words from RhymeZone.com, thus failing at being humorous whatsoever.

I hope this recap has helped. Let's see what happens next.
Replies: >>15889
>>15888
I think it might be a zoomer copypasta
Replies: >>15891
>>15889
Copypasta? I didn't recognize that one, probably because it wasn't really funny (no offence) so it hasn't been posted much like the famous copypastas we all know and love. Now if we were talking about girls or food, I would recognize those things a mile away. If I were to ask you what your favorite food is, I'm sure you could say and I would recognize the dish because it's notable due to its delicious taste. If you were to ask me about my favorite food, well, for me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)
somewhat.mp4
[Hide] (1005.8KB, 576x1024, 00:15)
This is somewhat like me and Ash.
226 replies and 132 files omitted. View the full thread
>>15791
Burger King fast food deal
Baby this burger tastes like foot fungus hell
DIYlute.jpg
[Hide] (744.6KB, 1920x1624)
bike.webm
[Hide] (2.3MB, 640x480, 01:15)
this kind of like me and Ashley
Replies: >>15883
bike-thief.jpg
[Hide] (21.9KB, 391x531)
>>15878
>build girlfriend a dildo bike
>a few weeks go by
>in a rush to get to work
>forget to put pants on because in a rush
>grab what I think is my bike
>take pants off
>oh wait my pants were already off
>sit down
>ohshit.gif
>really in a rush so I have to ride her dildo bike to work
>peddling faster and faster
>ass naturally moves up and down from fast peddling
>accidentally give self prostate milking
>get to work
Message too long. View the full text
Replies: >>15885
taz.jpg
[Hide] (19.6KB, 500x365)
>>15883
>think things have already gone great badly enough today
>run down the bike thief
>try to knock him off my girlfriend's dildo bike
>have some difficulty dislodging him from the dildo
>eventually succeed
>decide to teach him a lesson
>buttfuck him
>uhoh.jpeg
>he likes it
>now he's my boyfriend
>dump girlfriend but keep her bike
>6 months later
>AIDs test results positive
images.jpg
[Hide] (18.9KB, 181x167)
406519493_2329093884145963_4949189193708726157_n.jpg
[Hide] (77.2KB, 503x640)
This is a lot lke me and Ashley.

dance.gif
[Hide] (830.5KB, 400x400)
Post music. Bonus points for PMVs (ノ•‿•)ノ♬
134 replies and 71 files omitted. View the full thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7Csc6l4QLs

the guitar solo in this was so good, I pulled over onto the side of the road and grabbed my phone to record it so I could look it up later when I got home.
8C03EE5F-37F8-440C-AB84-FE4E9605E766.jpeg
[Hide] (29.7KB, 780x433)
https://youtu.be/JjoLEXz8FkU?feature=shared
https://iv.ggtyler.dev/latest_version?id=gU86MpVAIPM&itag=22&local=true

sorry if link doesn't work
3AAF9DC6-E658-4FFE-8F17-879AED2080E0.jpeg
[Hide] (75.8KB, 497x501)
https://youtu.be/196h-nUrNB4?feature=shared
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0csYYDUVnR8

0991434aaa90e076abee1cb71a033e9ca9d0dc166ced510072e48b160e57d7ba.jpg
[Hide] (17.7KB, 512x512)
>rubgurl.com
Replies: >>15879
images.jpg
[Hide] (18.9KB, 181x167)
Ashley is:
The chief clerk of smirk
The pioneer of leer
The puppeteer of sneer

So delightfully smug

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as she does
Baby, you're the best
Spoiler File
(150.6KB, 512x512)
>>15700 (OP) 
Replies: >>15880
mord_sith_cosplay.jpg
[Hide] (50.6KB, 960x638)
>>15879
Master Ruh Rohl guide us. Master Ruh Rohl teach us. Master Ruh Rohl protect us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve pussy. Our lives are yours.

confession.jpg
[Hide] (47.1KB, 900x600)
Spill the beans. Again.
210 replies and 66 files omitted. View the full thread
I failed No Nut November yesterday, darn!
1673984225987862.jpg
[Hide] (80.4KB, 672x836)
I only did 1/4 of my resolutions this year.
Replies: >>15872
women.jpg
[Hide] (447.5KB, 1357x1281)
>>14808
at least you're using linux though (full time I hope?).

Honestly even being able to make a statement like that is a testament to just how far gnu/linux has come. there was a time in the not so distant past where you probably couldn't have used linux without at least a little terminal use. I'm all for making things easier and getting people away from microsoft and apple.

that being said the terminal really isn't that scary or difficult. if you ever do get into it, you'll realize all the cool hackermans pictures you've seen of people's linux desktops with 4 shells open all running crazy looking shit is all actually pretty mundane/not difficult stuff. Take picrel for example. This dumb whore is doing the equivalent of opening a folder (incorrectly a few times) over and over and checking what directory she's in. Normies think it looks amazing and advanced but in reality it's nothing.

cool thing about the terminal is that once you get comfortable in it, you can actually do many tasks much much faster. also, the majority of people don't actually memorize the crazy long commands. You can write simple scripts or use aliases (like shortcuts) to do things for you. I have shit in my .bash_aliases file that I wrote years ago that if you asked me to write out I couldn't remember how to do it. like alias yta='yt-dlp -x --audio-format mp3' to use youtube-dl (
Message too long. View the full text
Replies: >>15872
I still shower alone and change in the bathroom stalls at the gym because being around naked men is gay.
>>15828
That is prolly better than 99% of ppl who make new years resolutions. So good for you anon! 


>>15833
>at least you're using linux though (full time I hope?).
No not yet, I bought a laptop a lil while back and have it on that.
Im saving money to build/upgrade a new PC and for that I will swap to Linux as my main, I assume there will be some issues with some of my older software that I regularly use, so I will still probably need to use windows of some sort.
I have to figure out what I can keep from my existing hardware but also what to get for new hardware, which is tbh really overwhelming as Im completely hardware illiterate.
I know /g/ has a pc building thread so I will probably go there for any questions.

>You can write simple scripts or use aliases (like shortcuts) to do things for you.
I had no idea about that. That sounds really cool and encourages me to learn about using the terminal more. Especially since I use yt-dlp quite a lot


Message too long. View the full text

images.jpg
[Hide] (18.9KB, 181x167)
vQr7Zw.mp4
[Hide] (57.7KB, 400x224, 00:02)
Post one of your favorite Christmas songs that put you in the seasonal mood.
Here's mine  https://youtu.be/vP46Hgy7H7A
images.jpg
[Hide] (18.9KB, 181x167)
Nice job making the board look Christmasy, Ash. Your image on the lower right on the board needs a Santa hat.
Replies: >>15866
ec2a51f53b98a5fb01440c6db9c8707314502868f9a4973c44e0e48803e774ba.png
[Hide] (345KB, 939x480)
>>15863
Thanks Seabee, your wreath goes really well with the Christmeese theme going on. Also, I saved the best for last. Taz put on his Santa hat and is hoping he'll get a negative HIV test for Christmas. Yaaaaaaaaay!!!~~~~

This Christmas song gets me in the mood. For Christmas. Not for anything else.
https://iv.ggtyler.dev/watch?v=OPX45Hk7VYo
Replies: >>15868
images.jpg
[Hide] (18.9KB, 181x167)
>>15866

I'll keep my digits crossed for Taz but I have a feeling he'll get a clean bill of health, he always manages to pull through.

Funny takeoff on Wham's "Last Christmas" a now classic.

Funny You spelled it:"Christmeese". You once asked what my favorite  Ashley video is. In retrospect it has become a Christmas tradition for me  to play every year around this time your 2014 Google+ vid, "Christmeese", now that's a Christmas  classic that really sets the mood.
Lots of different songs put me in the Christmas spirit, I'm sure I'll be posting a number of songs throughout the season, but here's the first one.

https://iv.ggtyler.dev/watch?v=0ajUzI8USRo

702a6dd8301e5f3b130d6c45ca125aa597aba82527c0da616ea7c863e3384745.png
[Hide] (115KB, 390x294)
An amalgamation of my boredom spent messing with my webcam. Enjoy.

https://videos.icum.to/w/oMs8J4Mgtw8g4gYVcvw6Nt
31 replies and 13 files omitted. View the full thread
1687869766220431.jpg
[Hide] (19.8KB, 376x376)
>>11031
poor-guy.jpg
[Hide] (178.2KB, 964x944)
>>10906
Fun Movie Detail: For this shot, the tears coming out of Bandits eyes, are in fact, real tears and not GIMPED in.
Replies: >>11200
>>11088
I would buy a t-shirt of this. It reminds me of Brodie's t-shirt from Mallrats. When is the merch dropping? I still need my signed TikTok Tranny movie poster.
>>10981
dicks smell like fish too
also fish smells good
bitch
203b6aacf168ca3f49339fb1bcb554027b44f989d87b82557dd0f563f9288ec5.gif
[Hide] (317.2KB, 320x240)
why does ashley look so SCRUMPTIOUS in this video??

Show Post Actions

Actions:

Captcha:

- news - rules - faq -
jschan 1.2.0