/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


New Reply
Name
×
Email
Subject
Message
Files Max 5 files9.5MB total
Password
Flag
Captcha*
[New Reply]


phone.png
[Hide] (511.7KB, 736x410)
I show you how to make an old analog phone (and answering machine) work with no landline - just a VoIP.
https://videos.icum.to/w/artxqtqZwtzpBTjpqEkBJq
Written tutorial: https://icum.to/how-to-make-vintage-analog-phone-work-with-voip-on-computer/

 Also, I added a number of things to my website: https://icum.to/horsecock/ 

If you have questions about setting up your analog VoIP phone, ask in this thread and I will answer.
Please also discuss my website changes, I worked two whole days on it.
>>19029 (OP) 
WOW
>>19029 (OP) 
why do you wear shoes inside
Replies: >>19033
>>19031
How am I supposed to wear them? Inside out?
Last edited by admin
Replies: >>19034
>>19033
Yes. But seriously, wouldn't your house get dirty easier because you are wearing shoes or boots indoors?
Replies: >>19036
>>19034
No, I usually quickly knock off dirt from my shoes when I come back inside to make sure they're clean. If I'm not wearing some form of pants or shoes I feel like I haven't actually started my day and feel extremely lazy, so wearing pants and shoes is a way to trick me to feel productive or less lazy.
Replies: >>19038
>>19036
Oh I see. I guess I understand what you're saying about the productive feeling of being ready. I find it interesting that in your video you said you felt gay for wearing a skirt. A few months ago I was wondering how women don't feel gay or very exposed when they wear tight or revealing clothes.
Replies: >>19039
michelin-logo-mascot-3.png
[Hide] (363KB, 920x1226)
>>19038
Gay probably isn't the best word for it, I feel like a cross dresser wearing a skirt, just sans the sexual thrill and mental illness. But when I wear combat boots with green cargo pants I look like a massive lesbian or Columbine shooter.

>I was wondering how women don't feel gay or very exposed when they wear tight or revealing clothes.
I see it often in public, and usually it's women who should not be wearing yoga pants. Yoga pants are a privilege, not a right. It's even worse when the yoga pants are flesh color. Numerous times I thought I saw a pantsless freak roaming around Walmart, turns out she just somehow managed to pour her Michelin Man body into skin colored yoga pants.
Replies: >>19042 >>19043
269fbbe742f588adffbe034493d107743491a1653a875f0f0f66c78e7363f341.jpg
[Hide] (509.4KB, 1024x1200)
I think women *like* to feel exposed, since it's in their nature to desire to be raped
Replies: >>19041 >>19042
753820851131064211ae59e0818c106de298b9af7f141b6df8097ce5a46777e8.jpg
[Hide] (194KB, 877x768)
>>19040
Yeah, women are practically animals.

Ones like this got Ashley...
>>19039
>Yoga pants are a privilege, not a right
tsmt
>>19040
maybe, I'm sure the oldest humans were just raping each other all the time
3a518b266b1d402c46159095fbf4fb57abce005c67b0434f70662213eeaa8b00.jpg
[Hide] (17.6KB, 350x500)
>>19039
>But when I wear combat boots with green cargo pants I look like a massive lesbian or Columbine shooter
You can shoot me in the heart with your arrow :3
The new 'HEY FREELOADER' theme at the end is quite refreshing.
Replies: >>19065
Anyone going to set up an ashleyphone?
Replies: >>19049 >>19065
>>19046
I'm a tech retard but I'm intrigued to try it. I'm gonna ask my geek friend to look into it for me and set me up for one.
Replies: >>19050
>>19049
Why not try to learn how to do it yourself? I'm not really technologically inclined either but it doesn't seem that difficult. Cheap too. I'm just not sure how much I want another phone that I won't get any calls on
Replies: >>19051
>>19050
Well, I'm not in US and I'm not sure if her instructions are exactly adaptable to the technology and line services available in my country. But if I can do it it'd be for two things:

1. The government taps phones. This ain't just a theory. I know this because once my dad was summoned to an intelligence department because he had made some political statements against the government to a foreign opposition political show. He did that more than once. They invited him politely and just gave him a warning because he wasn't politically active. They also told him that they had monitored his calls for months. And not just him but other people related to us as well. Even his mother-in-law and his own mother in her country house. So having some privacy on an international phoneline would be nice.

2. If calling charges are cheaper this way, I like to use this method to make international calls because international calls are kinda expensive for me.
Replies: >>19052 >>19059
>>19051
Voip numbers are virtual which means you can get a number from pretty much anywhere in the world no matter where you are
Replies: >>19057
>>19052
Uh-huh, well I'm gonna look into it, see if I can find the rest of the stuff I need to set one up.
77d19958cd35a06287cb086cc69fc21145704cdbc03096bef81cc0b1984368a8.jpg
[Hide] (1.2MB, 2496x1762)
>>19051
>The government taps phones.
In most countries, yes. The United States operates one of the largest data collection  (spying) centers in the world, the Utah Data Center. Your story describes a scenario that sounds frightening because most Americans have never had an experience like that; the US government prefers its citizenry to be uneducated and kept in the dark about most matters of how their rights are being violated. (The concept of "rights" is silly anyways - you have no rights other than those you make for yourself, they aren't given to or taken away from you by a government.)

If your government is as authoritarian as you say, they almost certainly collect all of your internet traffic too (just like the US). Setting up a VoIP phone alone won't improve your privacy, and in fact could make it worse. Ashley even mentions in the video that traditional telecommunications are inherently insecure, and she's right. The majority of methods people use to communicate today are unencrypted and completely owned (and "pwned") by governments and corporations.

>If calling charges are cheaper this way
VoIP is very cheap, almost certainly cheaper than whatever smartphone plan you probably have.

You self-described as being a tech retard. By merit of being here, you probably have some degree of interest in technology, or at least an interest in places online that deviate from the beaten path. Your post implies that privacy is at least somewhat important to you. In some countries even using a VPN can result in prison time (if you're caught). What steps have you taken to learn more about privacy, the undoubtedly unjust laws of your country, and how to safely implement what you've learned into your life?
Replies: >>19063
Kevin-Sorbo-image-kevin-sorbo-36639956-600-600.jpg
[Hide] (38KB, 600x600)
<Also, I added a number of things to my website
>https://icum.to/mycrushes/
Replies: >>19062 >>19194
>>19061
Yeah, I checked it.
Nice variety of crushes you’ve got there.
>>19059
>If your government is as authoritarian as you say, they almost certainly collect all of your internet traffic too (just like the US). Setting up a VoIP phone alone won't improve your privacy, and in fact could make it worse. 
It certainly is and it just sets me uneasy thinking about it. I think I’ll use the VoIP for calls only and stick to the regular line for the internet.

>Your post implies that privacy is at least somewhat important to you. In some countries even using a VPN can result in prison time (if you're caught). What steps have you taken to learn more about privacy, the undoubtedly unjust laws of your country, and how to safely implement what you've learned into your life?
It certainly is. I refrain from making even the slightest political statement against the authorities in public. Everyone’s a rat here. Government bootlickers to the bone. I don’t even make political statements on the internet because I’ve seen people being taken away in broad daylight, tortured and even killed for political activism, and vile disrespect for authority.
VPNs are illegal here but even the authority figures use it to connect to social media like Instagram and Twitter which are banned here. So the law for it does exist but is rarely enforced because that’s really stupid and hypocritical.
I try to keep a clean public profile and pretend to be an average Joe to stay under the radar. Kinda like Winston Smith in 1984.
I’m not tech wise but I do use VPN for my connections, I mean I have to. Almost every major website has been filtered by the government.
>>19029 (OP) 
Nice skirt Ashley! Very feminine and cute! Have you tried sissy hypno?
>>19045
yeah, what is it?

>>19046
I only have a gay and retarded mobile phone.
Most people I know dont even have a landline or if they do its not plugged in.
Its been years since Ive talked to anyone on a landline phone or at all ;_; 
Replies: >>19070
>>19065
My parents  planned on getting rid of their landline ten years ago but still haven't. They don't even use it but it's tied into a bundle along with their TV and internet and removing bit would be too much of a hassle.
I like when she talks to us like we're children, very immersive.
Replies: >>19075
>>19074
She should run a daycare.
She could earn up to $500 a day.
Little kids will go bananas for her.
weapon_slot_no_8_aka_devastate-her.png
[Hide] (79.4KB, 1628x909)
ws8.mp3
[Hide] (198KB, 00:05)
>>19029 (OP) 
*funny DN joke*

*laughtrack*
Replies: >>19087 >>19092
Spoiler File
(83.8KB, 826x728)
>>19086
also, i found an Ashley Jones easter egg

*laughtrack*
Replies: >>19092
shrink.jpg
[Hide] (89.1KB, 627x473)
>>19086
>>19087
NICE NICE NICE. Pretty sure he used weapon slot number 7 on her, fuckin pip squeak
Replies: >>19095
>>19092
"weapon slot number 7 alt" will fix her. Pretty sure he probably already tried that though, seems like it only worked on her eyes

no joke concerning using "weapon slot number 7 alt" on my cock, sorry homos
Replies: >>19099
1a93dfff48aec274ab4abacb50a344bef447140a155514e19e5e2dbac880e92c.jpg
[Hide] (90.6KB, 627x473)
>>19095
I was going to try that... but... oops I think I made it worse.
I just tried to call Ashley and I was so fucking confused.
Replies: >>19118
>>19029 (OP) 
>no John Davis on her list of crushes
this is how you know she is legit married to him, as based on my childhood upbringing watching my parents interact, ALL marriages are devoid of love. 


>>19105
ikr? normally they ask for credit card details before the phone sex
c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)
vlcsnap-2024-02-13-11h30m51s489.png
[Hide] (838.8KB, 1280x720)
Desktop_Dropdown4.jpg
[Hide] (18.8KB, 201x250)
>>19029 (OP) 
My squad and myself used to ladder lace our boots, looks cool, try it, you'll be the belle of the ball.
Replies: >>19183 >>19231
0cf61020ac353217603d7e4853bf55ce2540f91ebfa74a5e6c746ba831e03187.jpeg
[Hide] (145KB, 400x550)
>>19179
Right now she’s the car battery gremlin.
ca662c568b1a9c285ad3f2112aa904a04b6527549fd75f792524b815841b3017.jpg
[Hide] (156.8KB, 1338x815)
He never grew out of it. My little boy is 17 and still wears skirts.
Replies: >>19191 >>19475
0ff8d3cd4b2bb5856558fdc07cbcb20110f9b8e9a0aff2cce1b272b977885d86.webp
[Hide] (92.6KB, 700x1200)
>>19189
The Duke likes his girls in plaid skirts.
>>19061
There's more autism than blood that runs through her veins
Replies: >>19198
>>19194
thats not blood anone...
adff5b3a8e41819d8c0259576e720c36696bfd8d1d051dba30af4e865473c0c5.jpg
[Hide] (283.3KB, 1322x718)
>Brownsville

This video and the previous one has awakened something in me I didnt know I had... a finger fetish
Replies: >>19210 >>19226
>>19208
She surely aint giving anyone a foot fetish
>>19208
Boney fingers make boney penises
>>19179
Those boots were made for walking
and that's just what they'll do
and one day those boots will walk all over you
mysterious-object.jpg
[Hide] (257.8KB, 1350x964)
I know this is stupid but Ive been trying to figure out what the hell this device is thats sitting on her chair in the background.
It doesn't look like a container for something. It doesn't look like a piece of technology/equipment either but it kind of looks futuristic.
a portable charger for her vibrating microphone?
A car battery she stole from a parking lot?
Replies: >>19464 >>19484
>>19462
looks like a space heater
Replies: >>19466
54972fa320af433fa51ca586bdb61e45b2b4c7415d2820e5c6b2437bdbebea10.jpg
[Hide] (92KB, 737x710)
solved.jpg
[Hide] (116.9KB, 443x592)
>>19464
o-oh... thats probably it then.
FB_IMG_1707545842917.jpg
[Hide] (16.7KB, 550x413)
>>19189
There is no way that's the same guy. Dude on the left wears way too much makeup. He looks like Edward Scissorhands. The dude on the right that looks like the tranny from Con Air clearly has a healthier diet. He probably gets a lot of cum. Guy on the left is probably cumless and in starvation mode. All vegans look like him. Drink eggs. I don't want our butt babies looking like Krang's Android from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The difference between these two is I'd rape the left in a motel and the right in a hotel.
>>19475
Coincidently Edward Scissorhands and the Con Air Tranny were both crushes of mine and he is basically an amalgamation of both. The perfect  man.
>>19462
Looks like a big black dildo to me.
>>19475
Ashley, why did you lay all my viagra pills on the baby?
>>19475
Its too late for you Ashley. Enjoy your dogs
Ashley, what's a lucid dream and an astral project? How do you do it?
3hdxjyjj9v461.jpg
[Hide] (23.7KB, 480x600)
This was actually a really informative video that I would totally use if I had a cool garfield phone or something like that to hook up. I'd call the line but I really don't have much to say other than I hope you're doing good. OH wait actually I did get that Weird Paul signature you asked for. Call me if there's a PO box or something you want me to send it to. Maybe getting a mail set up could be your next project.
Replies: >>19668
>>19663
FED DETECTED
>>19029 (OP) 
not sure where else to post this, but im gonna post it here since you mentioned your webiste in the Op

on ur webiste you asked
>Can someone please help me to get autoplaying audio to work without Javascript? Why do browsers not support it anymore?

i looked it up and this was what i found:

>Autoplaying audio without using JavaScript can be achieved through the use of HTML5 audio elements and certain attributes. However, it's important to note that many browsers have restrictions on autoplaying audio for user experience and security reasons. Autoplaying audio is often disabled or requires user interaction to enable it.

>Here's a basic example of how you can use HTML5 audio elements to attempt autoplaying audio:

<audio controls autoplay>
  <source src="your-audio-file.mp3" type="audio/mp3">
  Your browser does not support the audio tag.
</audio>



idk anything about coding but i looked at your site source code stuff and it looks like your doing this anyway with
<audio controls autoplay type="audio/mp3" src="images/audio/calypso.mp3"></audio></center>


i dont know how to end this post so im just gonna stop typi
Replies: >>19868 >>19871
>>19866
oops forgot about the gay arrow effect
Replies: >>19871
>>19866
>>19868
I think the rainbowtext and greentexting and stuff can be avoided with code tags or inline monospace, like

<audio controls autoplay type="audio/mp3" src="images/audio/calypso.mp3"></audio></center>

<audio controls autoplay type="audio/mp3" src="images/audio/calypso.mp3"></audio></center>

see https://tubgurl.com/faq.html
f69aaa53d3b2a6526705f77313711fc8d4301472998942867bee86feda7ba84c.webp
[Hide] (89.9KB, 1000x750)
Well no fucking wonder your phone is so rare. Most of them were lost at sea.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-have-garfield-phones-been-washing-ashore-france-30-years-180971835/
Replies: >>20579
>>20577
That's pretty neat. I might get one now just to have two ;) But seriously, I'm going to setup a home phone using her tutorial soon. I just haven't decided on if I want the Cool Spot 7UP phone or the Sports Illustrated football phone yet. I might get both.
I'm trying to set up a number via jmp.chat. After choosing the OpenPGP method in Gajim to encrypt my messages to cheogram, it says "Not Trusted there was no trusted and active key found". I am retarded and I know it's something I'm not doing on my end. What do?
Replies: >>22671 >>22675
I hate talking to people without body language, they always get horny because my voice frequency resonates with their genitalia (cervix mostly)
8ae2b5c5272bd4bffeae91eba43c60850df09c9138c60c645747e85d53cb45bc.jpg
[Hide] (39.6KB, 951x687)
>>22653
Just use OMEMO it's another encryption method people use with XMPP, very trusted https://conversations.im/omemo/. All you do is click the lock icon and select OMEMO, then you're set.

This is the first time anyone's mentioned using the phone tutorial, let me know if you run into any issues. Just curious -- are you using a physical phone or using a headset?
Replies: >>23963
>>22653
Both parties must be using the chosen encryption method. JMP's bot doesn't use encryption (presumably to make it usable for non-neckbeards or autistic people like ashley). As far as I know anyway, you can check with JMP support. This isn't a big deal as you probably aren't discussing anything particularly sensitive about your love life with the automated system. The message you're getting about "Not Trusted there was no trusted and active key found" is because you don't have the public key stored for the other party. Stick with it because JMP is actually great and is one of the only VOIP services that doesn't require you to provide a blood, hair, and stool sample to use. I'm glad Ashley brought it to my attention because previously I had to jump through a lot of hoops to get a non-privacy-invasive voip number. Or rather, they wanted to invade my privacy, but I managed to get in with fake info, which wasn't as easy as it sounds.
Replies: >>22676
>>22675
>autistic people like ashley
Sorry just to be clear I meant NON-autistic people UNlike ashley
>>22671
>Just curious -- are you using a physical phone or using a headset?
Headset for now, but I have plans to go through with your physical phone tutorial in the future. I'm excited to choose my own novelty phone.

This might be a dumb question or need more context, but how do I actually make a call without a physical phone using Gajim?
Replies: >>23967
07c107eba31ebf729360ace5f9cfd35fee54929d99d11fb80dcea6cb68da1e38.jpg
[Hide] (22.3KB, 951x407)
>>23963
https://jmp.chat/faq
See Q3 and Q4. You have to add the phone number you want to call as a contact. When adding them as a contact, add the phone number and "@cheogram.com" at the end, such as "+14169938000@cheogram.com". (Make sure to include the country code +1 or whatever their country code is). Now they will appear in your contacts list. Go back to your messages. Press the blue plus icon and select "start chat". Find the contact you added and double click to have them appear in your message list. This won't actually send a message. Then click the icon (picrel) and select start voice chat. I assume this will work with a headset if it's configured with Gajim in the preferences. Try test calling major stores so you won't feel shame trying to call someone important in case it messes up.

FYI you might want to adjust your privacy settings before adding contacts. Click on your icon, then select the wrench icon that says "Account settings", then select the privacy section. By default it does things such as share if you received/read a message among more, which is unnecessary.
Replies: >>28446
Sorry, I am clueless about JMP and Jabber, but after playing around with the Cheogram bot, it seems that the JID associated with Ashley's phone number is different from the one that she uses for Jabber chat. Has she made the latter one public, and can we call her via Jingle?
Replies: >>28446
>>28440
>it seems that the JID associated with Ashley's phone number is different from the one that she uses for Jabber chat.
I don't know what you mean. I have one XMPP address that I use with JMP chat, which is required in order to use JMP chat, and I only have one phone number. If you add a contact using "@cheogram" (see >>23967), you can call as a contact. However, a call using my XMPP address will definitely not get answered because I never have a headset attached to my computer (nor configured with Gajim) and I rarely ever have Gajim open, so I wouldn't see it anyway. Calling my Garfield phone is how to talk to me in real time. I check my emails regularly also.
[New Reply]
69 replies | 27 files
Connecting...
Show Post Actions

Actions:

Captcha:

- news - rules - faq -
jschan 1.6.0