/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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Your post is unworthy of going in any other thread. Thus, it is now going into Derrick's tiny little mouth, where he will run his soft tongue over it before chewing it up and swallowing it. Your post will land in his dark, warm little tummy, before being extracted of its nutrients and turned into waste. Derrick will then shit out your post from his brown little butthole. This thread is where it lands.

This thread is for posts unworthy of any other location.
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Oh good theres a new thread because I wanted to discuss this and didn't know where.

Thoughts?????????????? Are these images accurate?
Replies: >>23589 >>23611
>>23586
Skip the middle man and pair dad with a child
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Geeeiiiigh~
Replies: >>23591 >>27664
>>23590
>two men cockfighting
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>>23584 (OP) 
Post your sizes. 7 here.
Replies: >>23621
>>23586
I guess I'm a woman. lol. Just replace it with mom and it's literally me. She's 62.
Replies: >>23612
>>23611
You are in lesbians with your mom?
Replies: >>23615
>>23612
That is very much like Ashley and childhood fantasies
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Who’s the captain of the ship?
Replies: >>23618 >>23619
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>>23617
That would be me.
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>>23617
Pic related.
Replies: >>23625
>>23595
4 inches long 
8 inches wide
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>>23619
Pic related.
>>23584 (OP) 
IS THAT A RARE, UNRELEASED, UNBOXED AND UNVAXXED "derrickdabeastxX" UPPER DECK TUBGURL.COM TRADING CARD PP MINT CONDITION PSA 10????
Replies: >>23633
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>>23628
I didn't think anyone on this board would be familiar with Upper Deck baseball cards. Upper Deck which I collected when I was a kid was considered the pinnacle of trading cards. I would say that we would have to relegate derrickdabeast to a Topps trading card at best.
Replies: >>23634 >>23666
>>23633
He looks like a Bottom to me.
Replies: >>23637
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>>23634
Topps
>looks like a Bottom to me
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This looks like antiques guy.
>>23633
>I didn't think anyone on this board would be familiar with Upper Deck baseball cards
erm tbh Seabz sorry but i just searched trading card game brands and that was the first name I read :S

do you still have those baseball cards? they might be worth something and you could sell em on ebay!
Replies: >>23674
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>>23666
I still have the baseball cards just don't have the ambition to try and sell them. The old Pokemon cards which I never got into are probably worth a lot more.
The damn OP picture makes me crave pizza every time I see it. Curse you Derrick.
Replies: >>23678
>>23675
It looks like he's regurgitating the pizza back out. I like to pretend in a baby bird and he's the mama bird and he's feeding me his undigested pizza right into my mouth. lol.
Replies: >>23679
>>23678
You could get second hand caffeine just by tasting the Monster in his saliva
MONSTER CUM
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>>23584 (OP) 
Replies: >>23708
>>23698
Nice spin on a classic image. Chester wants to put his white sauce in derricks mouth
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>>23584 (OP) 
derrick be a goomba head ass nigga
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At 55:50 in TikTok Tranny, the tiktok video in picrel thats titled "Is he going to hate me??"
is this the only TikTok video that doesnt have any footage anywhere?
I think all the rest atleast have some partial footage in the movie
Replies: >>23725 >>23732
>>23720
Sweet Jesus! Is that LOST MEDIA?! Brb going to post about it on Lost Media Wiki so that some youtuber will make a half hour video discussing it.
Replies: >>23952
>>23720
I don't hate you, Ashley
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>>23725
rewatching Derrick goes to Court and Im still impressed with the transformation into judge Latisha Haramba Antifa Jackson by the actoress Ashley Jones. 
Looks like a different person.
>>23952
Those nostril wideners kek
>>23952
You got it all wrong. Thats ashley WITHOUT makeup
Replies: >>23984
>>23969
No, that’s Ashley with makeup trying to pretend to look like a niggress.
Replies: >>23987
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>>23984
Ashley has had reverse vitiligo for several years now. Instead of her skin turning from black to white it turned from white to black.  That's why she initially quit making videos. Her skin is now fully black and she has concealed it using copious amounts of makeup. I appaud her to having the courage to show her true self and I hope she does it more often. Also the xmr she constantly begs for isn't for maintaining the site, its for make up to cover her dark skin.
Replies: >>24020
>>23987
No, she was pretending to be a niggress.
Replies: >>24021
>>24020
I don't understand, can you try to be a little bit more clear?
Replies: >>24026
>>24021
Ashley Jones IS black and she HAS ALWAYS been black
Replies: >>24032 >>24033
>>24026
Ashley Jones is a black queen. Anyone who claims she's wearing makeup or pretending to be black are ignorant.
Replies: >>24033
>>24026
>>24032
💯 Stop ✋🏾 trying to white wash Black bodies. Ashley has, is, and always will be Black. Smh
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New mental breakdown just dropped
https://videos.icum.to/w/43Zw5XCfni6PMRak3UNyps
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>>24159
Ashley be like "I know a spot" and take you here
>>24159
>goo pods
She actually makes a solid point here and I'll never be able to look at the women in duke nukem the same way again
>>24159
https://youtu.be/m4U4NCkp-Mo omg
Replies: >>24268
>>24159
Literally why do you have to be so insulting?
Replies: >>24173
>>24172
As compared to figuratively?
Replies: >>24174
>>24173
I don't think it's possible to be insulting figuratively unless maybe she's using satire but the jury is still out on that but she sure threw around the R word (retard) a lot.
Replies: >>24180
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>>24174
Oh no not the r word!
real tired of yall simps
>>24181
Not many simps here
>>24181
D'oh!
>>24181
I ain't no simp, son.
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We're entering a post-simp Ashley timeline. We're all just a big group of friends and Ashley is the tech nerd who doesn't have a girlfriend either that gives us cool stuff to play with. I've masturbated to Ashley before, but lately, it feels like I'm jerking off to a picture of my sister, or a male friend. I mean, sure, we all know that's fun a couple of times, but then you realize that it just feels wrong.
Replies: >>24190
>>24185
>We're all just a big group of friends
I would execute all of you
>>24159
Why did her head look so huge in this video. Looks like a freakin bobblehead.
>>24191
Really? I didn't notice anything. Just camera positioning and lens focus is what you're noticing or maybe it's the edible you took earlier
>>24191
Perspective filmed below the chin and close to the head
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>>24191
It's because she pointed the camera up at her face, instead of straight on or the 'cutesy' angle girls do where the camera is positioned above them (to make you feel like you're a big man looking down at them).

I for one appreciate the pointing up camera angle, since it made me feel like I was getting yelled at by her, and allowed me to better pretend that she's my mommy scolding me for being a bad boy, which gives me a throbbing hard erection (as a friend in our friend group)
Replies: >>24197
WEBSITE UPDATE
I updated my website. In the update log I forgot to mention that my dream journal also has two new entries. One from November that I forgot to add, and a new one from April/May.

https://icum.to/horsecock/

Questions? Concerns? I've noticed that very few people have commented on my crushes page. Did I not go into enough detail? I can go deeper.
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>>24195
>I can go deeper.
Yes please. Send pics. I wanna see.
>>24194
I love gay sex
>>24197
Me too!!!!!!!
Replies: >>24199
>>24197
>>24198
I am also homosexual!!!!
>>24195
Do you sell your repaired items or do you hang on to them? Just curious
Replies: >>24204 >>24221
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>>24202
She puts them up for adoption. There is a small fee. The fee is to ensure they go to loving homes and not a landfill.
Replies: >>24209
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>>24197
>>24204
i don't get it
Replies: >>24210
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>>24209
Not until you pay the fee.
Replies: >>24211
>>24210
i still don't get it
Replies: >>24215
>>24211
You get what you pay for.
>>24202
No, I'm not skilled enough to resell things like Antiques Guy. I need more training. I've held onto everything I've fixed, usually I buy the items because I like them and use them once they're fixed. Though I have way too many broken cassette players, I might donate them to a thrift store once I fix them.
Replies: >>24222
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>>24221
I like to imagine that you glue googly eyes on them and then talk to them doing your best Peewee Herman impression.
Replies: >>24223
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>>24222
Something like that
>>24195
Cus it lacks Salem
Replies: >>24225
>>24224
I'm good
>>24195
Where da women at? I thought you were bisexual?
seems kinda sexist to only have men on there or are you one of THOSE girls why say theyre bisexual just because of the attention it gets from guys? nah, you wouldnt be one of those girls, right?

Do you know if there is a common trait amongst them that draws you to these men?
Do you think Ronald has a big dick since he has big shoes? and do you think his pubes are also vibrant red like his hair?
Replies: >>24247
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>>24246
I don't hold any of my opinions or interests because it may or may not generate attention from people. I've been beating off to strictly women since I was a kid. I find women's body parts sexually appealing, but I generally don't find women's personalities interesting and they can't offer what a man can offer in a relationship. I like the male/female dynamic, a woman always needs to know that at any moment she could be beaten into submission.

There aren't any women on my crushes page because I don't develop crushes on women, I mostly objectify them for 5 minutes until I climax and then forget about them. And the one I do have a crush on is an autistic 40 year old women with 1,000 subscribers on Youtube. I'm gatekeeping that GILF all to myself.

>Do you know if there is a common trait amongst them that draws you to these men?
That they could beat me into submission

>Do you think Ronald has a big dick since he has big shoes? and do you think his pubes are also vibrant red like his hair?
He might own big shoes but he never shows his feet, so we can't know if his penis is big because he doesn't show his feet. He might just be wearing really oversized shoes to pretend he has a big penis. However, his pubes and armpit hair is definitely bright red. Mine weren't when I had bright red hair.
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>>24247
I'm gonna need more than five minutes objectifying you.
>>24247
She's 12 here btw
>>24254
Too old!
Replies: >>24263
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>>24254
Perfection.
>>24259
she's over twice that age now....
Replies: >>24264
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>>24254
Actually I was 14 there. This is me at 12. I know, you can barely tell the difference from me now. Just agree with me, I need this

>>24263
12 1/2 years old x 2=25. I'm still in the clear for technically being a 12 year old.
>>24264

>just agree with me, I need this

I agree and was there ever a point in your life when you weren't so damn cute?

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                            MAKE LOVE

                                    <3

                                NOT WAR

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Replies: >>24267
>>24265
Imagine all the kids you can screw since you're technically still 12 years old.
Replies: >>24270
>>24171
https://youtu.be/4Y5eRiFOLi4?si=TCx2R-ur3UgTXYXV
Replies: >>24269
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>>24268
https://youtu.be/HG-u9Ni53qM?si=42-n6oro9bdtWFfx
>>24267
I imagine screwing kids even though Im not 12
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>>24247
>And the one I do have a crush on is an autistic 40 year old women with 1,000 subscribers on Youtube. I'm gatekeeping that GILF all to myself.

YOU GOD DAMN BOBBLE HEADED RETARDED FAGGOT TELL ME HER CHANNEL NAME Just give it to me, I need it
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>be womxn
>https://derpibooru.org/search?q=artist%3Aamiechan&sf=score&sd=desc
>https://derpibooru.org/search?q=artist%3Asia+siberia&sf=score&sd=desc
>https://derpibooru.org/search?q=artist%3Acosplaydeviants&sf=score&sd=desc
>https://derpibooru.org/search?q=artist%3Apinkilicious&sf=score&sd=desc
>https://derpibooru.org/search?q=artist%3Achelhellbunny&sf=score&sd=desc
>https://derpibooru.org/search?q=artist%3Amintyblitzz&sf=score&sd=desc

Literally WHO asked for this..
>>24276
Again, you have to disable the filters (see https://derpibooru.org/filters/56027 )..
>>24276
What an annoying way to spam links, fuck you.
Replies: >>24283
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>>24247
>Do you know if there is a common trait amongst them that draws you to these men?
>That they could beat me into submission

>drawn to men that can beat a 4'11" 95lb girl into submission

....so your'e saying I have chance?
>>24278
Why?
>>24276
Nobody here likes the pony shit except you
Replies: >>24286
>>24284
Okay, I will stop. I guess nobody likes Minecraft either? I think it would be cool to have a decentralized Minecraft server via I2P or so (but I would not have time to help working on something like that until the end of August anyways).
>>24286
I don't know but ponies with tits is a tough sell for most people
>>24286
Dude, don't listen to that newfag. They love MLP and Minecraft. That's all they would post about in the Ashley Jones discord besides trannies
Replies: >>24336
>>24335
That is true but what else do you expect from discord users
>>24286
Ngl, I think it would be cool if Ashley liked Minecraft and had her own server. I think she would enjoy the tech mods. I haven't played in over a decade so I have no idea what's available now. The last time I played, Yogscast was just getting into FTB.
>>24339
Hard Gay
Replies: >>24343
>>24340
What about him?
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>>24339
To be honest, I was never really into these Tech Mods, but the most popular today would probably be
* Create [1], very polished and more build-focused (less single, overpowered blocks, etc.) with a lot of decoration-stuff too, picrel,
* GregTech [2], basically a _much_ more complex Industrialcraft, vidrel, LOL,
* Industrial-Foregoing [3], seems to mostly be about automating vanilla-stuff,
* EnderIO [4], classic pipe-style tech-stuff, etc., and
* Mekanism [5], bunch of energy-stuff, all based on a single new ore.

Although I personally would be open for playing with any one of them, and you theoretically can pretty much avoid Microshit, e.g. via the PollyMC launcher [6] and the alternative authentication system [7] it integrates, the resulting client software everyone would have to run will always be extremely bloated, slow, totally non-free and just be written in the shittiest Java imagineable. Also, while Ashley seems like a very competent admin, she would probably be the last one on-board of anything that is Craft, and using some system that inherently, effectively elimates any powers a host usually has over the clients (IP-banning, world-save-files corruption/deletion, etc.) would be the best IMO.

Minecraft Beta 1.7.3 introduced the Piston block, already making the, admittedly very weirdly implemented, vanilla Redstone very interesting [8]. The code base is _much_ smaller and there are some nice mappings, allowing anyone to easily strip away more. When I get some time, I will try to produce a statically-linked, native client-only version for my system, using GraalVM.

1: https://github.com/Creators-of-Create/Create
2: https://github.com/GregTechCE/GregTech
3: https://github.com/InnovativeOnlineIndustries/Industrial-Foregoing
4: https://github.com/SleepyTrousers/EnderIO-1.5-1.12
5: https://github.com/mekanism/mekanism
6: https://github.com/fn2006/PollyMC
7: https://github.com/fn2006/PollyMC/wiki/Alternative-Auth-Servers
8: https://invidious.private.coffee/watch?v=W8nfzOzQ3CM
Replies: >>24345 >>24350
>>24339
Sorry, I am stupid and do not actually know anything about Tech Mods. No idea why I wrote all of that shit in >>24344, LOL. I found a video that shows much better how that side of Minecraft evolved into the current state, if you are still interested: https://yewtu.be/watch?v=c8QV1rUz3eg . Honestly, all that older stuff looks pretty cool, so I am just going to agree with your post entirely, but I for one am done trying to convince the queen. Also, the Piston block got introduced in Beta 1.7, of course.  Please someone respond, I am crying RN. 
>>24345
Ah, forgot to say, make sure to read some of the comments on that video, because it _is_ really opinionated (maybe thus all the more fitting here (?) HEHEHEHEHEHHE).
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>>24345
here is a Dedotated (Wou)
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>>24344
>>24345
Are your breasts swollen?
I think the only reason Ashley doesn't want to play Minecraft is because you have to eat pork chops to replenish your health.
Be careful what you wish for. Ashley wouldn't play minecraft, she'd play Minetest🄯, the Open Source Voxel Game Engine. She'd run it on a Serbian Trisquel GNU/Linux server with a whopping 75% uptime, fill it up with horse mods, and charge 0.0001 XMR for each swing of your pickaxe.
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--------------------------------------------------
                MAKE LOVE

                         <3

                   NOT WAR
----------------------------------------------------
Replies: >>24403
>>24402
What's with the "Make Love Not War" signature you add in every one of your posts?
Replies: >>24405
>>24403
Just an ode to a great guy I met overseas

--------------------------------------------------
                MAKE LOVE

                         <3

                   NOT WAR
----------------------------------------------------
Replies: >>24414
>>24405
You should get that as your next tattoo, Seabee.
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Hey guys, I just got a new smartphone.
>>24459
You've aged.
Replies: >>24462 >>24465
>>24460
>12 years later
>you've aged
Not to white knight or anything but no shit genius
Replies: >>24463
>>24462
what are you talking about? that picture looks recent to me
>>24460
Oh get over it Ashley. Death waits for no one, embrace how you are now. I know it hits harder for women, but get a hold of yourself
>>24459
<would
>>24459
She's 8 here btw
Replies: >>24472
>>24470
And I would have ate her pussy
Replies: >>24473
>>24472
lewd
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>>24459
>I didn't bother to make my website responsive for mobile users because phones are gay. Imagine carrying around a radiation government tracker with you everywhere you go. People actually do that. What losers.
Remember when Ashley wasn't a faggot loser? Me neither
Replies: >>24479 >>24491
>>24476
Radiation makes you gay thats why Ashley is gay
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>>24459
>>24476
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I wanna see an episode of Wife Swap, but with Ashley's characters.

It could be Barry and Linda, swapping with Derrick and Derrick's mum.
Imagine Linda having to look after that lil retard Derrick for a few days. Maybe she gets tired of Derricks shit and so she hires a babysitter to look after him and she ends up hiring Chester... 
Meanwhile for the other couple, Barry and Derrick's mum, Barry acts completely oblivious to Derrick's Mum's flirting and her attempts to lure Barry into having sex with her. 
At some point during the swap, Antiques Guy comes over to visit Barry and he notices Derrick's Mum's advances on Barry and he gets jealous and starts acting all catty towards her and then her towards Antiques Guy in a competition to win over Barry. 
Barry, meanwhile, remains oblivious to all of this.

Bonus characters could be the shows producer/host interspersed scenes making comments about whats going on during shooting. or just commentary over the top of the scenes.

Setting it up: There could be an advertisement that the reality TV show is coming to film an episode in Minnetonka, Minnesota and is looking for local residents for the show.
Derrick/derricks mum and barry/linda would see this advertisement and submit their entries. Them filming their submissions could also be a scene.

Im not sure of an ending to how the show would play out.
Replies: >>24520 >>24522
>>24516
Lmao, that would be hilarious. You should be a writer for NBC. You should totally do that with your own trademarked characters in your own copyrighted content.
I can come up with ideas too. Derrick is going door to door selling chocolate for a school fundraiser. The cool salesman at the school assembly said they would all get cool prizes if they sold the most chocolate. It's really hot outside and Chester rides up and offers Derrick a ride by offering him some candy. Derrick says no thanks, I already have chocolate. Chester says Derrick, you really shouldn't be eating that unless you have the money to pay for it and gives offers Derrick money. Derrick says it's okay. My mom gets lots of money. Chester says well you sure are a tough nut to crack. Is there anything I can offer you to get into my car. Derrick says my mom says I shouldn't talk to strangers or take offers for rides home from them. Chester says well shucks Derrick, I'm no stranger, remember you sent me those fart fetish videos. Derrick is like "oh, yeah." And gets in the he car. Chester offers to teach Derrick how to drive but he has to sit in his lap. Chester begins to dissociate with Derrick on his lap. Derrick remarks how stiff and hard the stick shift is. Chester says it's stiff and hard alright. Derrick says something keeps poking him and Chester quickly replies, uh that's the seatbelt buckle. They arrive at Derrick's house. Chester says hey, now I know where you live. Derrick gets out and realizes the candy bar he was eating he had stuck in his pocket had melted. Chester watches derrick go inside to make sure he is safe from other predators so they don't get to him first and then realizes he has chocolate smeared all over the front of his pants. Is that shit? Did derrick shit all over me?
Replies: >>24522
>>24516
>>24521
Leave the writing to Ashley because these ideas are terrible
Replies: >>24523
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>>24522
>because these ideas are terrible
Thanks for saving us from having our own opinion, super simp. No one is trying to take anything from Ashley. Just entertaining ideas. Anyone who has been a longtime fan knows Ashley doesn't write shit. Picrel does.
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Since Ashley is so stubborn like my granny we sent off to the retirement home so we could move into her home and drive her car, some enterprising young simp should start Ashley a YouTube channel and send the revenue to her monero wallet. Surely, such a profitable commercial enterprise would not be done simply out of spite.
Replies: >>24535 >>24539
What if Ashley stayed up all night making her famous chili and she had to carry it up a flight of stairs only to end up spilling it ☠️
I have an idea for a diy with ashley video. What if like that woman who drives her places shows up and ashley calls out to her from the garage. The lady goes into the garage but doesn't see her, then suddenly she hears ashley call out to her again. The lady goes over to the work bench and there on the table is a 🥒. Then Ashley tells her that she turned herself into a pickle.😆😂🤣
Replies: >>24530
>>24526
 
>she turned herself into a pickle
 Dill?

Must have been a jarring experience for Ashley.
Craiglist lady probably didn't relish the change.
Replies: >>24533
>>24530
Lorne Michaels would absolutely love you.
>>24524
Yes I'm sure classics like "Derrick's Birthday Party" where Ashley bukkakes a dead woman or "Jack Off Instructional/Gay Conversion Video (works!)" are going to do great on Youtube, where free speech is the top priority. She has a peertube for a reason genius
Replies: >>24537
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>>24535
>classics
Replies: >>24538
>>24537
ESL or just retarded? It doesn't literally mean that the videos are classics. It's a sarcastic turn of phrase to refer to things that are clearly not "classics" as classics. The point is that Ashley's videos wouldn't be allowed on youtube.
>>24524
Great idea! It's not like Youtube is notorious for deleting videos for the tinniest thing and makes monetization nearly impossible and only gives fractions of a cent per view. Ashleys politically correct PG content is the perfect candidate for a successful Youtube channel.
Replies: >>24541
>>24539
By controlling TOS, you can control the narrative on a global scale. ABC Company aquired youtube and I'll never forget going to see what was on youtube and needing a google account to sign in.The internet is subject to change and so are we. Ashley's done a really good job building all of this without traditional forms of social media. Though she uses her simps as proxies to interact with mainstream social media, I applaud her efforts. I'm skeptical a female could do all of this, but sheeit nigga u smart as heelll
Replies: >>24542
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>>24541
Ashley is one of the few (maybe only?) people I know of who's using technology and the internet to independently "platform" herself without relying at all on corporate social media and I genuinely believe she deserves to be applauded for that.

It's actually kind of surprising and more than a little sad that what she's doing is so rare. Think about all of the youtubers that are constantly afraid of being banned, they self-censor to unwatchable degrees and spend all of their time kowtowing to their corporate masters. And if they do get banned, what do they do? Go over to a "better" corporate controlled platform, like Rumble or something gay like that.

I used to watch this one youtuber who does semi-edgy content and he's always constantly on the brink of being banned, like for years it's been like this. At no point during that time did he sorta realize that he needed to start building his own platform and funneling people over to it (patreon doesn't count). Literally the only person I can think of who did something like that before being banned is James Corbett lol.

But the real reason it's surprising and sad that nobody does what Ashley has done is that it's really not that hard. I don't want to take away from her accomplishments, but doing what she has done is not actually that difficult (even for a woman). Some basic familiarity with linux and the ability to follow instructions is all it takes assuming you're not a brainlet or a boomer.

I really wish more people would do this kind of thing.
Replies: >>24551
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>>24542
>I don't want to take away from her accomplishments

Which are many. Ashley can do just about anything she sets her mind to, computer tech savvy, electronic repair, making humorous videos, even baking an apple pie, heh, heh. Yeah, she should be given credit where credit is due.
Replies: >>24554 >>24588
>>24551
>Ashley can do just about anything she sets her mind to
... otherwise she would never do it, no matter what.
Replies: >>24560
>>24264
YOUR 25???!!! OLD WOMAN!!!
i yam 16 btw
Replies: >>24561
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>>24554
As the saying goes, "She can bring home the bacon AND cook it in the pan".  (apologies to all vegans,heh, heh)
Replies: >>24580
>>24557
Then isn't it time for your diaper change?
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>>24264
>Be me
>Le adult
>Still wear clothes from 8th grade even though I am in college and am a boy
>Corned by middle aged man at work who adopted a bunch of kids (I wonder why, haha)
>He touches my arm while saying, "You know anon, there's just something about you that makes me want to be friends with you..."
>He thinks I am a minor
I can't fucking wait for twink death, holy shit.
>>24562
>a tweet about being sexually assaulted after a normal social interaction with cherry picked context
Replies: >>24564 >>24574
>>24563
A tweet? Nigga do you know where you are?
Replies: >>24567
>>24562
>I'm youthful and slim
nice humblebrag faggot
Replies: >>24567
>>24564
Elone muska owns this website. Ashley is part of WEF. Bye nigger
>>24566
cope and seethe faggot
Replies: >>24569
>>24562
Sounds like the plot to this gay porn I'm watching
Replies: >>24570
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>>24567
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>>24568
>>24569
>>24569
I can't fucking wait for twink death, holy shit.
Replies: >>24572
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Goodbye twink death. Hello bear birth.
Replies: >>24573 >>24574
>>24570
I bet your inner thighs are so smooth.
Replies: >>24574
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>>24571
imagine the shits these guys can take
>>24563
Just being a creep is not sexual assault. I do think he is a pedo though.
>>24571
I wanna go otter mode.
>>24572
My thighs are not smooth right now because I stopped shaving my legs.
Replies: >>24575
>>24574
I seriously doubt you look like a child ergo he isn't a pedo even if he is a fag. How do you even know he was coming on to you? Maybe he was trying to make you feel comfortable because you're awkward or something. Not every person that shows you kindness wants to rape your butthole.
Replies: >>24576
>>24575
He's not Mr. Rogers, retard. Besides, he says creepy things about underage girls all the time.
Replies: >>24577
>>24576
Such as? Are we talking about a big titted sixteen year old and he says something like "wow she's a looker" or something? Or are we talking about a 5 year old?

It sounds like you're a gaywad that's uncomfortable in your own skin, so you start looking for problems where there aren't any like a woman.

I hope you can prove me wrong but everything you've said has been so vague that this is the impression I'm getting.
Replies: >>24578
>>24577
You are going out of your way to give this retard the benefit of the doubt, to the point where you are actively assuming facts because you've got it in your head that he's actually the good guy. You don't hope I can prove you wrong, you're just a retard. I really don't know why, other than that you are an autist on an imageboard who got assblasted for some minor reason. To give you an example, one time this 14 year old girl was holding a zucchini  (I work in a restaurant and she was the owners daughter) and he said that she probably liked big cocks because she was laughing with her friend. Another time he said that the girls (most of whom are like 15-16) should have to wear a different uniform because they were distracting. I think you have to understand that just because you think you are "kind" doesn't change the fact that you come off as a fucking creep when you come up and say some weird shit to somebody who is less than half your age. I don't know if he was "coming on to me". Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. It was still fucking creepy. Someone that age should understand boundaries.
Replies: >>24584 >>24594
>>24560
hehe
https://youtu.be/4X4MwbVf5OA
>>24562
Only Ashley is allowed to be a narcissist here.
>>24578
>To give you an example, one time this 14 year old girl was holding a zucchini  (I work in a restaurant and she was the owners daughter) and he said that she probably liked big cocks because she was laughing with her friend.
So you're saying a post-pubescent girl and her friend were giggling over a big fat zucchini, and he made a joke to you, not to them, about how they probably like big cocks. I mean, I just don't think this is that bad, sorry. Sounds like "locker room talk" that most men engage in. Plus those girls probably do like big cocks.

>Another time he said that the girls (most of whom are like 15-16) should have to wear a different uniform because they were distracting.
What did the uniform look like? Was it revealing or overly sexualized? 15-16 year old "girls" are usually developed women with tits, ass, etc. They probably actually were distracting to anyone with normal testosterone levels.

>I think you have to understand that just because you think you are "kind" doesn't change the fact that you come off as a fucking creep when you come up and say some weird shit to somebody who is less than half your age.
He probably just thinks you're one of the bros and is shooting the shit with you, you fucking weirdo. I don't know what it's like for you zoomers, but grown men will talk about stuff joke around with one another. It's just banter. Literally nothing you've said makes me think this guy is a "creep" in any way.

>I don't know if he was "coming on to me".
He wasn't, you've just been given brain rot by social media and modern politics so you think any male that's older and outgoing is a rapist.

>Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. It was still fucking creepy. Someone that age should understand boundaries.
I swear to god you sound like an actual female right now dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? This guy is just palling around with you and you're acting like a stuck up chick that he cat called or something, my god.

This had better be bait, I refuse to believe I'm sharing the same space with such a limp wristed homo holy shit
Replies: >>24587 >>24594
I don't know where you guys get the time and energy to always argue about shit that doesn't matter. I usually respond with either a funny image or a rebuttal which consists of a couple of sentences and leave it at that. That's why I will never be a lawyer, I would get bored hearing everyone's bullshit and cross-examining everything and be like "OK fine, my client probably did fuck those kids, you win. Case closed.".
Replies: >>24594 >>24598
>>24584
Have sex, incel.
Replies: >>24589
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>>24551
>Ashley can do just about anything she sets her mind to, computer tech savvy, electronic repair, making humorous videos, even baking an apple pie

no matter how hard she tries, she will never be able to reach the top shelf.
I will die happy knowing this, in fact it will be the last thing I think about as the truck Ive just run in front of hits my body and I explode like a water balloon against a concrete wall
Replies: >>24590
>guy makes a couple of edgy jokes about teenage girls
>touches your arm one time
>yup sounds like a gay pedophile rapist to me
Usually I would think that >>24587 is a joke but with the redditors that tend to come through this board you never know
Replies: >>24601
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>>24588
At least you'll get to reincarnate like Tahiti into a world where you have a harem of Ashleys
>>24586
Same. The amount of time invested vs the return isn't always great. Sometimes it's fun.

>>24584
By the sound of it, >>24578 is actually 16. His worldview hasn't even developed and he's lucky we're here to give him brotherly advice.
Replies: >>24598
>>24586
I hate arguing. I'll make a statement then someone says I'm wrong and proceeds to make 12 different very incorrect statements. I try to correct them, they argue more, it's definitely a time waster and never expect to change anyone's mind. It's a form of curing boredom for some people I guess.

>>24594
Earlier he said he was an adult. If the old dude is oogling 16 year old chicks (like any normal person does, peak breeding material fr no cap), he probably isn't interested in our twinky poster.
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>>24247
I like your Egyptian pose.
Sorry for the AI-generated eczema on your 14-year-old face and neck in the second photo "Monster Eczema Egyptian Pose.png", though.
>>24589
I don't understand. What's wrong with reddit? Lmao.
Replies: >>24603
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>>24601
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Ash, for your screwdriver reference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70VIfWRdA-Y
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It's just epic
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>>24618
Why do BPD zoomers always wear the joker's makeup?
Replies: >>24624
>>24622
It's the look of high society
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>>24606
Seabee, since you're a real man, I'm sure you can answer this question for me, a man in name only with soft, never-calloused hands.

What in the ever loving FUCK is the point of all of these screw types? It's money, right? It has to be money.

I understand the philips head. I understand the "slotted" or flat head screw. Hell, I can even see situations with larger hardware where a spanner would make sense.

But there is ZERO FUCKING CHANCE that in any real life situation absolute bullshit like the "Tri-wing" or "Pentalobe" or "TP3" have any actual goddamn application. There is no fucking way. I don't even think the Allen one makes any sense, even though I've used them (by force for stupid fucking Ikea furniture). It's just more surface area to strip.

Give me a flat head or phillips or GET FUCKED.

Thoughts, Seabee?
Replies: >>24635
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>>24633
I posted it just to be funny for Ash since she mentioned something to me about screwdrivers. But yes I agree with you , I don't know why there are so many types. In my thirty years I've only used 5 types, slotted, phillips, torx, allen and spanner. I bought a set of torx and allen because there are some screws on my Dodge Challenger that use that type screw. Granted there are types that give a much better grip than say a slotted screw driver but you would think that one or two designs would be enough.Some screw heads are designed for furniture applications, some for metal applications some for marine applications and some are designed for security and are tamper proof and I would guess that some types of screw heads are designed for finish work to look aesthetically pleasing. But again, why so many. I guess there are so many types of screw drivers because there are so many different types of screw heads, heh, heh.
whats the BPD stands for?
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>>24606
updated because you left out something else she may need to screw
Replies: >>24653
>>24606
Those security torx screws must be expensive.
Replies: >>24653
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>>24643
> something else she may need to screw
https://youtu.be/MydPL_ZQlLY



>>>24652

I guess it's something like the law of diminishing returns, that is how much cost are you willing to invest to protect whatever you're using a tamper proof screw for.
Yeah
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I see the rules section was updated. Question: I have a rare genetic defect where I don't actually have an asshole (I shit out of my dick). My parents are dead and I'm in my 40s so I don't have a legal guardian. What options do I have?

https://tubgurl.com/rules.html

>1A. If you insist on namefagging, you can become a lifetime "sanctioned" namefag by the following methods:

>1. Submit a namefag application. See below for details.

>2. Submit a namefag application. See below for details.

>To submit your namefag application, please email ashleyjones@icum.to with a 1,000 word essay explaining why you deserve sanctioned namefag status. Essays produced by ChatGPT or similar language models will be rejected if detected. You must also attach a timestamped, high-definition photograph of your anus (if you are under age 18, you must submit a timestamped photograph of your mom or dad's anus (if your parents are deceased or otherwise unavailable, you may submit a timestamped photograph of your legal guardian's anus)).

>1B. List of sanctioned namefags:

>1. Seabee*

>2. Tahiti*

>* These namefags did not have to gain their status via the means explained in section 1A; they are "grandfathered" in and did not provide an essay, nor pictures of their anuses (or parent/legal guardian anuses).

Thank god Seabee didn't have to show Ashley his anus, he's too classy for that. Tahiti on the other hand would gladly submit his hairless asian asshole to Ashley, so I'm a little upset that he didn't have to slum it with the rest of us and apply regularly.
>alarming levels of faggot behavior which seems to naturally manifest on the board if left unchecked
Gee I wonder why
Replies: >>24854
>>24852
Because you're a faggot
Replies: >>24861
>>24854
You are too!
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Guys let’s cut the faggotry
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>>24864
My thoughts exactly.
Replies: >>24894
you are really cool Ashley, I love your website
this is a shitpost isn't it?
Replies: >>24888
>>24459
>>24887
>>24882
>mfw watching the ashley cam
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I find this picture Funny.
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Replies: >>24940
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J1ejAucYL0w
>>24915
yeah a woman being better then a male at a videogame is pretty funny
Hey guys how do I charge the battery on my car? Thanks in advanced.
Replies: >>24955
>>24951
here's a handy guide https://voca.ro/18v4tg9WKXyh
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Check out this professional tier goon report.

Can you even IMAGINE shoving meth up your ass and jerking off for 3 days straight? How do you even get to that point? I feel guilty when I stay up too late playing video games.
Replies: >>24961 >>24975
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Who are the Ashke-Nazi?
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>>24959
you were gooning with just a phone!?!?
if youre going to shove meth up your ass and wank for three days, you should at minimum have dual monitors and a laptop and then maybe a phone. 
sell one of your large vibrating prostate massagers and get a good monitor.
I dont understand what showing the captcha is for, seems irrelevant and not connected to the other image you posted.

>I constantly switched between 2x large vibrating prostate massagers (Im not gay). Oh boy, does my rear now hurt.

KEK

As for the google stuff, what did you look up???
Replies: >>24962
>>24961
The person who posted on reddit isn't here to reply to you so I'm not 100% sure why you're asking questions to them directly, unless the joke is that you're implying the person who posted the reddit image is in fact the person featured in the image, even though he clearly is not (you would do this to playfully insult him)

I am autistic so this is unclear to me.

Nevertheless to answer anyway I suspect he was looking up granny (gilf) porn, that shit will land you on some serious glowie lists

As for the captcha, it's referencing a certain cytube emote.
Replies: >>24968
>>24962
>unless the joke is that you're implying the person who posted the reddit image is in fact the person featured in the image, even though he clearly is not (you would do this to playfully insult him)

yes that was the joke i was going for (Im not very funny). Oh boy, does my ego now hurt.
>>24959
>masturbating to porn on a phone
Not even kidding, that's one of the more disturbing parts. How does anyone comfortably jack off watching porn on a phone? Especially for a 3 day goon session. This guy needs to sell his meth for a monitor or flat screen.

>During this, I ended up Googling some very questionable/weird/immoral stuff.
>Don't ask for specifics please, as I want the post to remain and would like advice
>I know Google tends to share certain search data which could cause problems for me?
This man went Chester mode.
Does she ever post her feet? She should.
Replies: >>25209
Does she ever show her feet?
Replies: >>25209
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>>25204
>>25205
>>25204
>>25205
>he doesn't know
>>25205
Yeah all the time dude. Let me be the first to tell you though, those pups are GRIM.
>>25204
>>25205
Unfortunately, yes. Luckily big foot sightings are rare.
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I lost all my hair in a fight with a black girl, so I bought a wig to cover my bald. Sadly hair still remains on my legs, armpits, and pelvic region. I'll try to get into another fight with a black girl to get rid of that hair next. I feel like I'm antiques guy cross dressing. Often times when I dress feminine I feel like I'm cross dressing.

Keeping in line with being a tranny, I have an update about my technology pursuits. Remember that speaker I was fixing on the Ashley Tracker™? Remember how all you retards distracted mommy and thus she didn't finish soldering the speaker? I fixed it tonight. It took a few hours. The 3.5mm jack input was torn off by accident, and along with it came 3 out of the 4 solder pads and 2 PCB traces. It was a mini nightmare, but a jumper wire and much PCB trace scraping and soldering later, I managed to eventually fix it. I can't wait to blast Oh Bill loud out my window (.mp4 related) so that my neighbors think I lost my virginity.
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>>25422
>I lost my virginity.
Replies: >>25426 >>25431
>>25422
Was this the black girl? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDRxDbFzk74
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>>25424
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5ea89f807b0e9
>>25426
Is that a cock for ants?
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>>25422
At least soldering fixed it.
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>>25426
Add a third and we got a party. W-wait, not like that
Replies: >>25445
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>>25422
At the risk of  giving a reply not worthy of this post I'll just say kek or heh, heh.
>>25424
>>25426
I just realized this is the same guy. He's tonguing down everything. I wonder what other things he's tongued down in pictures. Ice cream?
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>>25429
The Human Centipede

>>25431
>Ice cream?
Ashley's butthole and perineum.
>>25422
Have you found the thermal camera at the "Thrift and Dollar" store or the "Dollar Tree" store?
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>>25422
Ashley looks a bit like Eugenia Cooney in that pic


(Thats a compliment because Im saying she looks thin)
Replies: >>25458 >>25461
I had a cheat day yesterday. I woke up feeling like total shit today. I'm like an alcoholic with a hangover except with food.
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>>25457
Kek I didn't see that this >>25450 was above my post. Well I'm not gonna look like Eugenia any time soon after yesterday.
Replies: >>25460 >>25479
>>25458
Did you eat an entire pizza too?
>>25450
>toilet lid up
Truly a sign of low IQ
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>>25458
Maybe hypnosis
Replies: >>25526
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>>25520
I really fucking hate it when cashiers hand back my change by putting the coins on top of the bills. Every time this happens the coins slide off the bills and spill everywhere, even worse is when it happens at a drive-thru where you can't open your car door enough to reach down and pick up the coins while other pissed off drivers are lined up behind you waiting to be serviced. One time on a windy day, the girl who was working the drive-thru dropped the coins into my palm which was the correct thing to do but then fucked it up by placing the bills on top which the wind caught and blew them away as soon as she let go. There were no cars behind me so she was able to leave her workstation and retrieve the bills for me while apologizing profusely. It's much easier to just drop the coins into my palm first then give me the bills which I can secure by using my fingertips with the same hand or wait until I pocketed the coins before giving me the bills.
Replies: >>25536
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>>25520
You gotta learn the open wide and slide strat.
Step 1. Unzip the coin compartment of your wallet
Step 2. Pry open said coin compartment nice and gaping wide
Step 3. Then when the cashier hands you your change with the coins ontop of the bills, just slide them bad boys into your coin compartment and put your bills into the bill section. 

Eazy

Speaking of change. I was watching a video of someone ordering food thru a drive thru and it came out to be something like $9.78
In my country that would just be something even like $9.75 or $9.80. do you guys really have to keep small 1 or 2 cent coins to pay for things ending in weird numbers?
That would make paying with a card a lot more convenient 

also, is it true that you dont know how much the actual cost of something is going to be because sales tax isnt included on the price tag?
Replies: >>25535
oh god, you deleted your post from 2 hours and ago right as i was replying to it.

oh fuck this is awkward
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>>25479
Ive got some mesmerising balls I can swing in front of her face, heh heh heh
>>25524
>is it true that you dont know how much the actual cost of something is going to be because sales tax isnt included on the price tag?
Yes, it's a pain in the ass. When something is $2.99 you know it's actually going to be $3.19 or something. This also varies based on where you live and what the current sales tax rate is for that state, so you really never can memorize it.
>>25523
They put them on top of the bills because they don't want to touch you (your hands always tend to touch a little when they just put the coins in to your hand). If they're on top of the bills, they can just hand you the stack of bills+coins, forcing you to grab the other side of it and never making physical contact. I noticed an uptick in this retarded behavior during the scamdemic.
>>25536
I'm just so sick of it. I want to be chipped so badly daddy. Scan all over my fucking face. What's that? I'm permabanned from the Cracker Barrel for my internet thoughts?
>>25536
Ive noticed a lot of girls do that to me, they make hand contact with me when they give me my change.
Normally, I sprint back to my car to rub one out with the hand they just touched (its the closest i get to having sex, ok?)

maybe I should instead ask them if they want to join my SMP server instead
Replies: >>25559
>>25536
>They put them on top of the bills because they don't want to touch you
Putting coins on top of the bills originated from a the Jews, they wanted to make sure you were being honest goyim and didn't try to pull a fast one by giving them the wrong shekels and covering it up quickly with paper. 

>>25554
I haven't actually jerked off in my car yet because I know it'd just cause a stain, but I could easily blame it on a spilt milkshake EASY.
Replies: >>25568
>>25559
>I haven't actually jerked off in my car yet because I know it'd just cause a stain
What you want to do is wear a pocket pussy like a condom under your pants, then thrust as you're driving. Make sure to play music while you do this so people just think you're dancing. If you moan or grunt or anything when you buss dat nut, people will just think you're singing along. When I do this, I try to enjoy my orgasm while at a stoplight with people walking on the crosswalk and I pick one to make direct eye contact with while I cum.
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you know what, I was watching Barry and Linda S01E03 and just noticed something...

Dont you think Barry and Antiques guy look a bit alike? 

Isnt that kinda spooky? What if Barry and Antiques Guy were twins separated at birth and have been unknowingly reunited after all these years but not as siblings but as friends. That would be crazy
>>25582
what if princess peach was actually plotting against Mario with Luigi and Futa Daisy?? Wouldn't that just be wacky?? I mean that'd be crazy and then there's metal mario who's kinda like evil would punish bowser with the super star they found in an alternate timeline but then toad goes back in time to try to stop them but then metal toad follwed them through the portal and shot fireballs at them like fwoosh fwoosh
Replies: >>25596
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>>25582
All I know is Barry has beautiful eyes. If I ever run into him in a hardware store, I might have to ask him if he needs help finding anything... then help him find it. That feller from the Bee Gees standing next to him can get it as well.
Replies: >>25596
>>25588
>Futa Daisy
Tell me more
>>25582
>>25593
Reminder that antiques guy is, apparently, based on a real person.
Replies: >>25599 >>25605
>>25596
This guy? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZPp8yiosUQ
>>25596
and then futa daisy and futa boo team up and they both eat mushrooms to fight giga bowser, but they didn't know that giga bowser was just wario and walugi put under a spell from the alternate timeline where Mario was actually evil and Bowser was good. So then the good Bowser goes through the portal and tries to stop bad Mario but it's already too late for him to stop them. But THEN out of no where a portal opens up from an alternate alternate timeline and reverse gendered Duke Nukem brings futa daisy and futa boo a power up from his universe which makes them go big mega on them
Replies: >>25609
>>25605
This reads a lot like the fanfics I used to write back when I was in my early 30s
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>>23584 (OP) 
Ashley shoves a cactus up her butt. Real audio. Must listen.
>>25616
Uhmmm ackshually this is from a French movie written and directed by Jews
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>>25616
real response from #1 female fan
>>25619
Both of you should hookup for Operation Cactus now!
Replies: >>25622
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>>25621
>Operation Cactus
kek
Replies: >>25633
>>25616
what are you using for that? I havent updated my TTS voice cloner in about a year. It was kind of ass, so hopefully its improved.

>>25619
did you voice clone that one femanon? I cant tell, they both sound slow and stupid.
Replies: >>25628 >>25633
>>25626
I used play.ht for the Ashley voice. You can use a fake e mail to sign upnand it's really easy to use. Yez, you do.have to pay once you run out of words or whatever but unless you're writing a novel youll be fine and if you do run out just make a new account which takes less than 10 seconds. Probably the best tts voice cloner out there.
Replies: >>25633 >>25636
>>25628
>>25616
>>25619
>>25622
>>25626
So it's all fake AI voice??!!
>>25628
Run your shit locally you fucking retard
ARRRRRRRGBLARGGHFHFH I CAN FEEL THE CUM IN MY ESOPHAGUS I CAN TASTE THE CUM I SEE IT IN MY EYES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MY VEINS ARE BURSTING WITH CUM
https://youtu.be/qDTo1RRyJ9A?si=rFcTSK-6PBideyMr
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>>25653
Here's a confession, none of those Feeder-fetish posts at the end of the last confession thread or in most other threads lately are mine. I only say this because I believe this anon >>25653 seems to think it's me although I could be mistaken. I haven't used that flag in several weeks and I no longer use it since Ashley will delete my post for nameflagging as she seems to be able to recognize my posts. I don't want other anon here to confuse me with other Feeder-fetish posters who are always posting about their unsightly health issues, unsanitary lifestyle and other obscene retarded shit. Anything I posted similar to that was parody or so I thought. I honestly can't tell anymore as it seems some of you actual do live like you say you do.
>>25676
Everyone here can recognize your posts because your schizo writing style and narcissism is unmistakable
Replies: >>25679
>>25676
meds
Replies: >>25679
>>25677
And if I say I don't care what your opinion is of me, you would say that proves I am what you say.
>>25678
memes
>>25679
You proved it yourself here >>25676 where you actually think you're so important that it would even matter if people mistakenly thought some silly posts were you (they didn't) because of the flag the poster used. You know, the flag that anyone can use, because it's not "your" flag. Nobody was thinking about you until you started crying about it, you fucking namefag drama queen.
Replies: >>25696
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Just. Wow. Big yikes. This washed up pedophile is at it again. Just look at him, grooming yet another LITERAL CHILD. Why doesn't anyone do something to stop him?!??!
Replies: >>25691
>>25689
>19-year-old
>not a pedophile
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>>25683
You see what you want to see and believe what you want to believe. It's because anon said trailer in their post. It matters to me because I've been messaged about posts on the board before and was even asked by Ashley on a phone call recently about some things regarding me. I'm not a drama queen at all. You're being far more dramatic about it than I am because clearly you're more upset about it than I am. There is an anon here who keeps starting drama with me when they could just ignore me. I don't know why I bother you so much. What's to even be upset about? I just want everyone to know those posts aren't mine since some people seem to have an opinion of me based on misconstrued information. I'm no more a narcissist than anyone else here. Most of you are actually far more narcissistic than I am because you can't accept someone possibly being better than you. You already seem to have a low opinion of yourself. Most of you have such thin skins that are so easy to get under and you get so butt hurt when I clap back when you try to talk shit about me like that one kid who ran away from here whining about Ashley not liking him because he was a prick. Ashley called me on the phone the other day and turned me down. Didn't bother me other than she made me believe something was wrong with me and a lot of what she said makes absolutely no sense to me. But that's just my apophenia trying to put a puzzle together with pieces that don't fit. And I don't like being lied to. Like when you're already aware of the truth about things and someone still lies to your face and even tries to gaslight you into believing that you're wrong and they aren't being deceptive about it.

Remember when memes were like inside jokes between friends but then memes went mainstream and now every mediocre person who otherwise couldn't articulate a coherent thought without assistance uses them as a panacea so their ignorance can masquerade as an intelligible thought? You all always regurgitate the same old shit like schizo and meds. You're all so predictable and it's charming you think you're not actually npcs when you've clearly been programmed to think alike and behave a certain way.

>>25684
That's sophistry. Their hypothesis is based on pure speculation. It literally says "other possible sources" and "further studies are needed to determine specific origins". There is no more evidence there to support their claim than there was evidence to support the vaccines were safe and effective. But in hindsight, I could be wrong and you could be right. If you want a virgin, you have two options. You can either fuck one of the other desperate sad fucks here or you can go fuck yourself.
Replies: >>25699 >>25721
>>25696
thas a lotta werdz nigga u eva try gettin some bitchez?
Replies: >>25700
>>25697
>I'm not sure why. I'm not a scat fetishist or anything. I guess it was just sheer curosity.
Don't lie. You were gonna eat some girl's shit but backed out at the last second because reality kicked in. You probably fapped to her scat porn too. It's like those faggots who fap to tranny porn and then they actually fuck one and post on reddit it's not at all how they imagined it would be. You should get Ashley a $100 Panda Express gift card and ask her to send you a pic of her shit.

>>25699
I don't have to try at all. If I was interested in bitches, I'd spend more time here hanging out with you all. It's always the one you're interested in that has no interest in you.
Replies: >>25714
>>25700
Vaccination is helluva drug
I'm not vaccinated?
Replies: >>25716
>>25715
Is that a question or a statement?

This poor vaccinated bastard doesn't even know what they did to him
Replies: >>25718
>>25716
You must be new here.
Replies: >>25719
>>25718
Huh? You're not making any sense, vaxxie.
>>25696
>you guys are weak and have thin skin
meanwhile
>spazes out over a flag
>writes hundreds of schizo defensive words justifying why we all suck and he's better than everyone else
>thinks people are targeting him because someone used his trigger word "trailer"
Delusions of Grandeur. No wonder Ashley turned you down. Shouldn't have gotten the vax.
Replies: >>25722 >>25756
>>25721
Yeah, so what's your problem?
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>>23584 (OP) 
I'm a REAL female and I'm also an Ashley fan and post on this board. GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION, GIVE ME ATTENTION. Pic related is me. I know I'm ugly. If I was hot I wouldn't be posting here.
>>25739
shoot heroin up your pussy whore
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>>23584 (OP) 
How do I get my boomer co workers to stop whining about Biden every 6 seconds. Any tips would be appreciated.
Replies: >>25872
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>>25739

If you want attention, then show more of your pics to us. Sexy pics with timestamp. Tons of pics please.
I can give you money too. ;)
>>25739
IT'SAMAN IT'SAMAN IT'SAMAN YOU DON'T FOOL ME PENIS HAVER
>>25721
I'll vaccinate your mother with my dick
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>>25748
shoot them
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friendly reminder the Ash is an alien
Replies: >>25920
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AAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

WHO COULD HAVE EVER SEEN THAT COMING

PFFFFTTTHAHAHAHAHAAA
>>25904
I don't know these people but I hope they're vaccinated.
Replies: >>25942
>>25893
We already suspected
>>25904
how many magnets you think would stick to these two?
>>25910
Xhes a chud who taught xhis pug to through up a roman salute and got a heckin' badthink case for it in the UK. He interviewed an executive action mercenary once I don't think he's done anything else noteworthy except not wear a beanie to hide his male pattern baldness.
Replies: >>25943
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>>25942
After this recent drama I learned that apparently he constantly goes off about how much he loves trannies and how women begrudgingly suck dick while trannies "worship your cock". He even had a blackout drunk night with F1nster (twitch tranny) and they both got so drunk and "couldn't remember what happened". Usually I blame the woman especially when they look like >>25904, but in this case I'm pretty sure she got sick of seeing her husband talking and probably taking t-dick and left him.
Replies: >>25948
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>>25904
>daughters
Replies: >>25946 >>25952
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>>25944
based
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>>25943
Guys that look like him are always faggots. Women that look like her are the only women they can get. If you have piercings and tattoos, you're a faggot. If your wife isn't putting out and your first thought is to go fuck some faggot wearing a dress, you're a faggot. Those kids are going to be fucked because their dad is a faggot. These guys always go after whatever hole is easiest to get into. I wish they'd go for hole in picrel.
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>>25944
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Replies: >>25988 >>26005
>>25979
that girl on top kind of looks like ashley
Replies: >>25991
>>25988
not enough leg hair
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GET me another hotpocket Mom!
Replies: >>26002 >>26007
>>26000
This is great, it reminds me of wallpapers from 2008-2010
Replies: >>26030
>>25979
I like the extra efforts those porn actors and actresses have put in to entertain us all.
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5ec1a221c30bb
>>26000
Very nice GET. I love roly poly Derrick. I'd rub his tummy and play doom with him.
Replies: >>26030
>>26002
>>26007
Thanks!
I like to imagine that each time a post is made in this thread, Derrick's belly swells more and more. becumming bigger and bigger, growing more and more in size...
Im not into inflation porn just to be clear
glowkpop fan  board
Replies: >>26087
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>>26086
You know it
What ever happened to the poster who made all those icum.to stickers?
Replies: >>26223
>>26126
I heard he got stuck in a sticky situation and now the only thing he has thats sticky and has cum on it, is his asshole thanks to his prison cellmate
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I'm banned from my favorite imageboard so I'm coming here instead. So what are you guy's deal?
Replies: >>26324
omahgash mee tooo my crush is dating someone else and I want to be raped and murdered I want to be wanted
>>26275
weird
>>26275
same tbh
Replies: >>26281
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>>26280
based ngl
What imageboard and what did you do?
Replies: >>26290
>>26275
surprisingly relatable

>>26288
This. OP, tell us what kind of naughty things you did you bad boy
>>26275
no
>>26274
I hate when e/b/aumsworld does that.
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Hello
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>Be me, biggest fan of my waifu Ashley Jones
>Plan: get hired as cameraman for her next video
>Film all her hot takes, especially when she goes off script
>Beguile her with tech expertise and free software devotion
>Cuck the shit outta these other normies who thought they had a shot
gonna get myself hired as her personal videographer. you guys can watch while i sneakily slide my hand under her skirt during live streams and all the simps think shes got a ghost in the room kek. Her grippiest holes will be mine.
>>26431
This is too detailed not to be true, but the only reason why you're finally telling us this is because it fell through
Replies: >>26443
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>Start streaming Baby Shark on repeat
>Get comfortable on bean bag chair while wearing tighty whities
>Grab bottle of lotion (gotta stay moisturized during marathon sessions)
>Begin stroking in rhythmic motions synchronized with the song
>Gradually increase speed when "Mommy Shark!" drops in
>I usually stand up at this point, just feels better
>Peak right before "Grandpa shark!"; nut explosion imminent
>"Let's go hunt!"
>Collapse onto beanbag, completely spent
What's your guys' beat off routine?
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Holy shit I just found the perfect job for Ashley. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_ydbrmWMOw
Replies: >>26451
a thread died for this
Replies: >>26451
>>26433
>the only reason why you're finally telling us this is because it fell through
you got me, it didn't quite pan out how I wanted… mainly cuz she caught wind of it mid-execution and decided to play hard-to-get instead of giving me those grips. God I want those grippies so bad, anons. Still holding onto hope though. What should I try next? Looking for some top 10 tips and tricks here.
Replies: >>26503
>>26431
>beguile her
>cuck the shit outta these other normies
So your plan is to deceive her just to prove that you're better than everyone else here? Let me know when she has rape dreams about you and buys you McDonald's.
Replies: >>26445
>>26444
>one time Ashley online orders some fat homeless retard mcdonalds as a joke
>a year later it's still his biggest life achievement
>white knights on an obvious joke post
I'm sure she'll be your gf any day now buddy
Replies: >>26446
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>>26445
>I'm sure she'll be your gf any day now buddy
You seem more concerned about that possible reality than I am.
Replies: >>26447
>>26446
>FB_IMG
not even remotely normalfag
Replies: >>26448
>>26447
If I had the mentality of one of Pavlov's dogs, I would try not being such a condescending prick.
Replies: >>26450
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>>26431
This is peak alpha behavior. You might not like it but this is what it looks like.
Replies: >>26455
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>>26448
>The normie cannot relinquish its grasp on its smartphone and facebook 'app'
Sorry retard there's nothing condescending about me dunking on you for being níggercattle, just stating facts
Replies: >>26455
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>>26442
lol
>>26440
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Styx might come a-callin'! BELLGAB BELLGAB

https://rumble.com/v56neb9-friday-live-bidens-insane-conference-dsa-abandons-aoc-bird-flu.html?start=2964

Come on Richard Groypers Panel (youtube) on Sunday Mama!
Replies: >>26457
>>26449
the alpha thing to do would be to go cum on her mom's face and post the video on tubgurl

>>26450
hurr durr poor fat homeless retard uses facebook on a phone. yep and I feel absolutely awful about it. here's an emoji 👍
gay thread
>>26454
VOID
Yeah fuck those posts lmao
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TIALLA
>>26431
This is actually based
>>26443
>What should I try next? Looking for some top 10 tips and tricks here.

duct tape, zip lock ties and a garbage bag for disposal. 
Dont be put off how old school it is. it hasnt failed me yet, aha!
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What's inside your butthole?
Replies: >>26577 >>26586
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>>26576
Semen, mostly.
>>26576
All I read was "8 year old" "butthole" "smash"
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>LONDON — Are you handy enough that if a lightbulb went out in your home you’d be able to change it? Believe it or not, one in five people aren’t so skilled. In fact, a new survey of people in the United Kingdom finds not only do about 20 percent of people not know how to change a bulb — the same number aren’t sure how to boil an egg, either.
https://studyfinds.org/change-lightbulb-household-chores-study/

I don't typically believe studies like this. It just sounds too insane to possibly be true. I've never met anyone over the age of 10 years old incapable of changing out a light bulb, and that includes a couple of literal retards (as in legitimately mentally challenged).

But who knows? What are our thoughts on this, Tubsissies? Are we truly living among uber-NPCs of this caliber? Is it just because they're British?

Have you ever met anyone who couldn't change a lightbulb?

This isn't in the news thread because it's not news, it's time wasting slop. But it's fun slop.
Replies: >>26622
>>26612
hmm lets see...
Boil an egg - no
Change a light bulb - yes
Cook a complete meal without using a recipe - yes
Read a map - yes
Sew on a button - no
Unblock a sink - yes
Remove a stain from carpet or clothing - yes
Change a baby's nappy - no
Wire a plug - no
"Bleed a radiator - no (dont even know what that it is)  
Check oil levels in a car - yes
Put up a shelf - a very bad one but yes
Put up wallpaper - no
Change a flat tire - yes but it could be a failure
Change a washer on a tap- no
Fit tiles - no

8/16
not bad, lets see yours!

--------------COPY PASTE TEMPLATE-------------------

Boil an egg - 
Change a light bulb - 
Cook a complete meal without using a recipe -
Read a map - 
Sew on a button - 
Unblock a sink - 
Remove a stain from carpet or clothing -
Change a baby's nappy - 
Wire a plug - 
"Bleed a radiator - 
Check oil levels in a car - 
Put up a shelf - 
Put up wallpaper - 
Change a flat tire -
Change a washer on a tap- 
Fit tiles -
Replies: >>26629
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Boil an egg - Yeah eggs are the shit
Change a light bulb - Hell yeah
Cook a complete meal without using a recipe - Yeah nigga just open a jar of pigs feet mmmm mmmm
Read a map - Nigga you look at a map, you dont read one
Sew on a button - Naw I aint a faggot
Unblock a sink - Pee pee into the sink really hard
Remove a stain from carpet or clothing - No but I know how to make stains into the carpet
Change a baby's nappy - I change my grandpas so probbies I could do my own
Wire a plug - Dawg this is drug lingo i dont know yet
"Bleed a radiator - If a radiator is a bitch acting out, then hell yeah
Check oil levels in a car - Oil levels? Tf? Nigga I check for cash in the car then go to the next car
Put up a shelf - I put up with my girls shit n thats about it nigga
Put up wallpaper - Hell yeah picrel is my wallpaper rn
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>>26622
>Bleed a radiator - no (don't even know what that is)

                      THE MORE YOU KNOW

A hot water radiator sometimes  becomes air bound preventing water flow. There's a tap on the radiator that can be opened to expel (bleed) the air out to restore the hot water flow. This must be done when the boiler is running.
Replies: >>26724
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>>26629
so its turning on some sort tap/valve to release the build up of air in the radiator?


ANYWAYS
Here is a cool website that lets you to flip thru virtual television stations from specific time periods

You can filter out channels to your liking as well as customizing some of the effects, for example I like to disable the artificial picture noise.
this would work really well on a CRT monitor
Replies: >>26725 >>26728
>>26724
forgot url im a fuckin RETARD

https://www.myretrotvs.com/
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>>26724
>so it's turning on some sort.................
correctamundo

Thanks for the url, I love 1970's stuff.
I just got hired at Wendys. Shits gonna be so cash
Replies: >>26747
>>26745
no skibidi sheeeesh
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>mfw havent nutted in a week and decided to jack off laying down
Replies: >>27184
>>27176
why the headphones?
is it to block out the voices screaming "stop, don't do it" because you realize you're to far gone and its far too late?
Replies: >>27187
>>27184
KEK
>>27138
I dykeheart cute girls. Cute girls kissing. Cute girls tickling each other pink. Cute girls not doing a bunch of gay shit with their pussies because that is not real I hope. Cute girls touching nipples.
Replies: >>27212
>>27206
ngl sounds gay af my dude frfr no cap bussin
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>>27138
>the_Lesbian_Pill.mp4
>1:05
Duke sighting. Anyways, if that Pornhub female search map is true, it reflects that women want to see other women that look like them getting pleasured. Africa wants to see other kpop fans, Indian women want to see other Indians (surprised their top category wasn't scat), and Asians like censorship.

I don't know why the video makes this out to seem like some suicide fuel. I'd rather a chick I'm seeing masturbate to other women than to other men. I'd rather her want a threesome with me and another woman than me and another man. I'm writing this as if I were a man. Let's be real, I should've been a man.
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>>27232
>Let's be real, I should've been a man.
tfw you're too based and redpilled to be a tranny but if you were an NPC you'd definitely be a tranny
Replies: >>27246 >>27280
>>27232
Yeah, but you're not seeing a chick and probably never will at the rate you're going. If you were a man, you'd be an incel. I had a lesbian couple want a threesome with me back in 2019. That's exactly the problem. Her gf started having reservations because she was too into me and they eventually broke up  and this bitch started messaging me wanting to hang out and that's when I realized she was into me too. I ended up ghosting both of them. I shit you not they came back to the liquor store and picked me up after work one evening when I thought they were only joking and took me back to their place to watch a drunk makeout session. They went to one of the bedrooms but left the door open. They had separate bedrooms. So I just left and walked home like a kissless virgin. They messaged me about an hour later asking where I had gone and I told them I had to get home. The thing is if I'm not into someone, I'm not interested in them at all. You'll probably get a gf one day maybe when you're forty and run into some divorced milf that recently destroyed her family.
>>27236
Cool story bro
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>>27236
watch out everybody, big time gigachad coming through here with an important blog post
>>27233
I think the issue is her ego. I believe she is the anon posting the accusations of narcissism. She said something about herself a while back that revealed just how obstinate she can be. Lately, my interest here has been a force of habit rather than one of infatuation.
Replies: >>27247
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>>27246
>Lately, my interest here has been a force of habit rather than one of infatuation.
God, I hope this is true. Here are some resources you may find helpful:
The Quickstart Guide to Quitting a Bad Habit: https://zenhabits.net/badhabit/
A Brief Guide to Quitting a Bad Habit: https://zenhabits.net/bad/
Curbing a Compulsive Habit: A Primer: https://zenhabits.net/compulsive/
The Habits That Crush Us: https://zenhabits.net/crush/
Replies: >>27249
>>27247
Why?
Replies: >>27250
>>27249
You ruin every thread
Replies: >>27254
>>27250
I think you're full of shit because if I really wanted to ruin your board like I've done to other online communities, I would.
Replies: >>27255
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>>27254
oh my gosh can you teach me how to be an internet tough guy? I want to be intimidating and manly on image boards too!!!
>your board
I'm not ashley you schizo mong
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>>>27134
>>>27136

Will posted the following on the old endchan ashleyj board.
Keep in mind there was NO PROOF it was actually him... ahh fuck... I mean her.  pic related is the transition.
so the following might be fake...



>Back in 2014, Ashley told me that she is mostly straight but she also likes girls. She said she finds their bodies attractive, but not their personalities and she was probably going to end up alone after a failed marriage because she'd never be in a relationship with a woman even though she has had crsushes on girls she went to school with and celebrities. She thinks the whole lgbt community is dumb. She said later that she despises butch dykes and trans people and that her mom is pro lgbt because she considers herself bi, even though she is married. She said her mom was in her late 30s and that she dated a woman after leaving her dad before she remarried. 
>She also suspects that her little brother is gay. Not her older brother, she said he's your basic hipanic male cuck who will settle on any girl that is willing to do him but he's not gay even though he dresses like a faggot sometimes. She said her mom and dad met through premarital sex and ended up getting hitched because she became pregnant, but divorced after a few years when her dad found out her mom was cheating on him. 
>Ashley said she had stuck things in her pooper before and regularly masturbates, sometimes, twice a day. She said she's never had sex with her dog but has thought about the peanut butter thing and haveing her dog lick it off. Also her cat. 
>Ashley and I were real close for a few weeks. We alsmot dated. Then she quit talking to me because she found out from others that I was transitioning. Then she quit talking to another guy in our group because she found out that he wanted to fuck me after I had transitioned. She left soon after that. That's pretty much all I can think of. If anyone is here from the old group, I'm still alive and no I haven't suicided.
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>>27263
This entire thing is inaccurate, especially
>She said she's never had sex with her dog but has thought about the peanut butter thing and haveing her dog lick it off.
Can't believe people make up drastic lies like this. I have had sex with my dog
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>>27264
wrong img but whatever
Replies: >>27267
>>27266
oops forgot to namefag like a homo but its definitely me Ashley Jones
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>>27264
Dun dun dun... another one takes the pill
Replies: >>27272
>>27263
Netburn's name is Will? I thought it was Luke.
Replies: >>27271
>>27270
it's fucking Luna now you bigot
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>>27269
I unironically think it's less disgusting for a woman to let a dog fuck her than it is for a man to let another man fuck him or to suck cock or eat cum.
Replies: >>27276
>>27263
Thank you for telling the truth to the best of your abilities. My interest in her and this website has been dwindling and this helps me be at peace as I walk into the sunset.
Replies: >>27275 >>27277
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>>27274
Oldfag here. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, but for what it's worth I talked to netburn off and on 10 years ago and the post is almost entirely false. you don't even have to have been there at the time to figure this out for yourself if you use a little common sense. He was/is a faggot so they wouldn't have "almost dated"

you people are like women I swear to god, there's no new drama so you have to dredge up literal decade old gossip that's not even accurate. I come here to shitpost and have a laugh and most of the time that's possible but holy fugggggg some of you are pathetic.
Replies: >>27285
>>27272
Dog dicks look like a burn victim's finger. I'd lick Ashley all over including her butthole and I wouldn't need any peanut butter. There are two guys inside Ashley, one is me and the other is the guy she should have been born as who sucks my cock and eats my ass and gets fucked in the ass with my cock and eats my cum
>>27274
Hey, I was leaving. You can't just leave at the same time I was. Then Ashley won't care about me leaving. My leaving is more important, faggot. You better fucking stay or else!
>>27232
Yeah this perspective makes the most sense to me as well. Why would I worry about women as sexual competition? They don't have semen except transitively as receptacles.

It makes way more sense to worry about dildos, and the only way to see yourself out of that dread is metaphysical insight.

>>27233
She should also be jealous of the other girl, because she also gets to have the girl, and the penis. #deep

>>27236
sad story bro
>>27275
I may be in the minority but I never understood the point of digging up all that dirt on Ash and Rose. Who cares where they lived or what their names are. None of you were ever going to fuck them anyways. Lmfao. Why couldn't you just jerknoff to them and move on like a REAL man. PS I never jerked of to either of them because I'm not a loser.
Replies: >>27295 >>27317
>>27285
100% agreed except for the never jerking off to either of them bit, I've orgasmed multiple times to both of them.
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>>27298
All of them are trannies!
I've to watch it a few times to see the whole picture.
Replies: >>27308
>>27298
>>27301
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futanari
Replies: >>27309
>>27308
Hey, you know what's funny? I always thought a Futanari was an Italian sports car and I learned something today.
Replies: >>27310
>>27309
Apparently there's a Ferrari Futanari sports car:
https://soundcloud.com/pinkdoesnthurt/futanari-ferrari
>>27264
>I have had sex with my dog
WTF???!!! IT'S OVER!!!
Replies: >>27313
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>>27312
Oh relax, all the girls are doing it.
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>>27232
>Asians like censorship
Wrong, these days Japanese porn has a version without mosaic for the foreign market, and its gangbang/orgy porn are the best!

>I'd rather her want a threesome with me and another woman
Have you participated in a threesome/foursome with other women?
Replies: >>27329 >>27330
>>27285
I've raped both of them a few times but yeah no reason to dig up dirt on some dirty whores lmao.
>>27298
this is the most homosexual futanari porn scene Ive ever scene, and I've seen a lot!

if your going to do Futa, ya best futa do it right and get some subway sized slongs on them sluts
>>27315
That was my favorite Ashley video. Too bad no one still has it.
>>27315
cry dyke die. CRY DYKE CRY. you're going to the breeding chamber. you're going to the stockade. the #Trump2020 reich will breed ALL DYKES. Trump is führer, Trump is GOD.

I breed dykes sieg heil the #Trump2020 reich.

Do you breed dykes sieg heil the #Trump2020 reich in your country?

If you're reading this, I closed the tab as soon as I made this thread. If you reply to this post, I will never see it. Stay mad.
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>>27361
What a strange looking doorknob
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We miss you Mommy!

https://www.yewtu.be/channel/UCV9wxleBahrWW5oG96XbJig
Replies: >>27653
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>>27652
The profile picture
Replies: >>27704
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>>23590
this is what I saw
Replies: >>27665
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>>27664
What about this one?
Replies: >>27853
There are two ambas on the front page right now
>>27653 >>27314
>>27769
I used to eat broccoli fairly often until I took a closer look and saw all the tiny insects that hide inside. Every single head of broccoli I bought always had multiple small black insects hiding inside the florets.

It disgusted me so much I stopped eating broccoli.
I will not eat ze boogz.
Replies: >>27778 >>27787
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>>27769
Ashley is just diet Richard Ramirez
Replies: >>27779
>>27776
There are bugs in just about everything. Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, cherries and figs are notorious for having bugs in them. If you don't freeze flour and rice before you store them, the weevil eggs will hatch. There are weevils in almost every package of grain. They grow in cereal grains such as corn, wheat, oats, rye, buckwheat, and rice. They also feed on legumes (such as beans and peas), nuts, and cotton. They can infest grapes, apples, and pears.
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>>27777
That's her brother. He likes to stake out graveyards in search of his next victim. The whole family is fucked.
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Ashley is the night stalker.
>>27778
>Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries
I check my berries super carefully and have never noticed this.
>flour and rice
They're stored in plastic and I have never seen anything in rice and only very rarely in wheat.

I check most of my food super carefully and I would absolutely notice if there were any bugs. Broccoli is the only food I always see at least 10-30 bugs in, the rest of my only very rarely.
Replies: >>27787 >>27797
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>>27776
>>27778
>>27784
Believe it or not the FDA allows a very small amount of insects, insect fragments,rodent hair and rodent dung in our food, measurd in PPM.
Replies: >>27800 >>27870
>>27784
Insects are incredible little bastards. I have often found boxes of sealed pancake mix in my cabinet where the bugs have chewed through the box and the plastic bag to get to the mix. I grew up picking blackberries with my great-grandmother, there are fruit fly larvae nestled deeply within the berries. To get them out you have to soak the berries in a solution of water and vinegar unless you don't mind eating fruit fly larvae. I mean you wouldn't be able to tell any are in there while you're eating them anyways and it's not like it's going to kill you or anything. That being said I do not advocate for eating the bugs. We used to have a cricket farm nearby and that place smelled how I would imagine Hell smelling. Like rotting corpses and shit.
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>>27787
That's true. I recently opened a Campbell's tomato soup that had what looked like a fucking grasshopper's leg in it. Fortunately, contaminates like that usually rise to the top of the container. Many years ago, my uncle opened a soda to find a roach floating in it. We joked about it because they were doing a promotion then where you looked under the cap to see if you had won. I once had a can of Chef Boyardee Ravioli erupt into flames. My brother and I were cooking on the stove and a large bubble formed in the pasta sauce. When it popped, like fucking magic, a fireball shot out of our pasta and caught our ceiling on fire. My dad came running into the kitchen and had to beat the ceiling with a broom to put out the fire. We told him what had happened and he was in disbelief. I did find this online but we were not cooking in a can. We were using one of those Corningware cornflower ceramic pots.
https://www.rapidrivermagazine.com/2014/the-exploding-ravioli-incident/
Replies: >>27810
>>27800
Thanks for the magazine article, I really enjoyed reading it.
When I was a kid I had the opportunity to join the scouts but opted to join the Civil Air Patrol. I regretted it. First 2 months was like a boot camp. A few years later I went from the frying pan into the fire and enlisted in the Seabees.

Two kids alone in the kitchen cooking is a dangerous thing, heh, heh. Glad the house didn't burn down.
Replies: >>27814
>>27810
I knew it was you even before I got to the Seabees part.
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>>27665
nice one, here's another
>>27787
I kind of expect that? Like they have to make an allowance for some frequency of that stuff because it is going to happen. Does 1:million seem way too frequent? Well eating a thousand cans of soup before I stumble upon a thousandth of a can of soup of gross stuff sounds pretty good, but if that is happening to everything I eat (but it isn't? not much room to hide rat hair in a fresh cucumber) then it would be very gross. Something on the scale of a part per million might be just a bit too gross but is getting towards the point where it would be acceptable, probably within an order of magnitude of where I would like it.
>this minuscule bug is icky! im never eating broccoli again >:(
>proceeds to eat 260lbs of animal meat per year
what did he mean by this?
Replies: >>27882
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>>27872
What do you mean by that?
At what age should you be able pronounce every word in the dictionary correctly and not sound retarded when talking to people?
Replies: >>28038
>>28033
Ashley, its not about being able to pronounce every word from a dictionary that absolves you from sounding like a retard when talking to another person, but rather to not sound retarded in a social situation, it means you are able to form some form of a bond or connection when interacting with this other human thru the use of your body language, listening and interpreting skills and the choice of your words. Its not merely defined by the expanse of ones vocabulary. 

When i mentioned forming a bond or connection with the other human, I dont mean youre trying so hard as to be best friends or finger their asshole and then afterwards start a Minecraft server together. it can just simply be something as a shallow and short lived but ultimately rewarding interaction whereby both parties exchange pleasantries no matter how shallow they may appear to be 
Eg: Person A: Hey, I like your t-shirt! Person B: Oh thankyou!
Replies: >>28042
>>28038
thats gay
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>>23952
I'm not native, but black women look and sound 169% like this to me, especially the nail movement and aaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa in between sentence.
Girls that mispronounce words are cute.
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>>27778
This one time my dad and I i bought some grapes from the supermarket and they had a redback spider inside the packet.
if you dont know what a redback spider is, well redback spiders are one of the worlds most deadliest spiders.

Now, Im not bothered by the fact I COULD HAVE FUCKING ALMOST DIED! oh no... What i cant get over is how the fuck did this mini assassin get in my packet of grapes in the first place?

Was the Redback spider already in the fridge and it made its way into the packet of grapes for a tasty snack? but how would it even get inside since fridges are sealed tighter then a nuns crotch in order to keep the cool air inside? 
Unless this spider were already inside my house and had made its way thru whatever air intake ventilation system the fridge has at its backside (heh backside).
However, Im not convinced this could be the case because redback spiders generally spawn in outdoor environments and the only other times Ive encountered a redback were in outdoor environments as well, like out in the shed or when i was moving some outdoor furniture.


OR maybe it was it already in the small plastic packet of supermarket grapes from the very beginning? 
in which case how did a redback spider make its way into a supermarket? 
Had the spider been there this whole entire time? from the moment it was picked and transported onto the truck, delivered to the supermarket and into the supermarket aisle?
was some disgruntled employee trying to enact revenge by taking out a customer? a poor, innocent and cute customer such as myself?

this will forever remain a mystery that will slightly annoy me for the rest of my life. 
What is not a mystery is what happened when I saw the redback spider attached to the bunch of grapes I had in my hand and folks, lets just say thank the lord jesus christ that no one has liquid absorbing flooring like... idk.... carpet on their kitchen floors ok? ok.


btw, this may sound like a lie. Afteralls, Im neither cute nor innocent according to the judge at my latest public hearing but I can guarantee there WAS a redback spider in my grapes on that fateful day.
When Ashley getting a video like this?
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=8PS5j0J736c
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Replies: >>28494
https://m.yewtu.be/watch?v=dPR5W75z2lY
Replies: >>28157
>>28153
Ashley, you also need to filter YouTube links from mobile phone users, by removing the "m." at the beginning of a link.
"BREAKING NEWS: Trump Directly Attacks Moderator At Start Of Q & A At Black Journalists Event":
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=dPR5W75z2lY
Replies: >>28162 >>28359
>>28157
>The media could not be loaded, either because the server or network failed or because the format is not supported.
Replies: >>28164
>>28162
>>27624
>>27627
You've to "Switch Invidious Instance" to e.g. https://invidious.perennialte.ch/watch?v=dPR5W75z2lY
I think the problem is you all keep spelling youtube wrong.
Mentlegen we can rebuild her
We have the technology
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Q4DYsFjfzh8?si=n7hybgt4GM_C8MUR&t=716
This too
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=Rt6tmvsTE30
Ashley!
>>28157
test:
https://m.yewtu.be/watch?v=dPR5W75z2lY
Replies: >>28360 >>28369
>>28359
Mobile users deserve to have their links ruined.
Replies: >>28361 >>28369
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>>28360
You can ruin my orgasm, but please don't ruin my mobile links!
Replies: >>28369
I dreamt Ashley had a production team. I was embarrassed and felt foolish I that she was being genuine. I even met some of the crew members. Then my dog ran outside and his pupils dialated and when he barked no sound came out. It was barking at another bigger dog, so I ran up to it and kicked it and it disintigrated into a cubes floating in the air. No blood.
>>28359
>>28360
>>28361
Ashley purposefully never catering to phonefags is one of her most attractive qualities
I just showered and rubbed this soft bar soap onto my knee for 5 minutes and now as I scroll on /ashleyj/ I see the reflection of the board on my knee
Replies: >>28382
>>28377
I saw the second Anacondas film reflecting off a black guy's head at a movie theater once it was that shiny.
Replies: >>28383
womenmotocross.webm
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>>28382
are you sure that wasn't the head of his anaconda you were watching the movie on (I'm talking about his BBC because blacks have big penus like snake)

webm is NOT related but you MAY watch it, I give you permission. The video features women in motocross and is humerus because they're bad at it because htye'r wmen -
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3 big threads
>Ashley look alikes
>Film and TV
>Food and cooking

all reached their reply limit on the same day, kind of interesting... r-right?
Replies: >>28411 >>28573
>>28409
Let's end this unworthy thread as well!
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>>28131
Ashley should have a section on her website where you could submit questions anonymlously... anonymously and she posts her replies to them
Replies: >>28498
>>28494
Yeah, almost like on an anonymous image board.
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Imagine old Ringo Starr taking you from behind as he has you bent over the bed. He roughly thrusts in and out of your folds, his fingers digging into your hips as groans, muttering filthily to you, “Oh, honey, you’re–oh fuck. You’re so dirty, letting a, f-f-fuck, letting a man my age have his way with you.

You moan loudly when he reaches around to rub your clit, making you buck back against him to feel his cock deep inside of you, “Yes, moan my name, moan for–oh god, moan for Ritchie, darling!”
Replies: >>28548
>>28539
UK accents on girls are cute as long as they aren't chavs with a thick cockney accent in their mouth saying shit like plow my dirtbox while you have her positioned in a Viennese Oyster. I like Rose's accent. I like girls with accents and cute mannerisms. There are a few YouTubers from the UK and Australia that I watch just because I like listening to them talk. I don't really care for their content. Not really into ASMR or tarot readings.
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>>28570
Is this allowed?
Replies: >>28575
>>28409
someone shoop a horse dildo where the exclamation is
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They finally revealed the identity of that Goatse guy. He died several years ago. I guess we won't be getting any more graffiti art from this faggot now.
Replies: >>28576 >>28577
>>28570
>>28572
For educational purposes only, yes.
For glorification purposes, no.
>>28574
His identity was revealed years ago, didn't know he died though.
>>28574
you should pick up where he left off from, become the new Goatse.
theres a void in that market that needs to be filled so time for you to start stretching that hole of yours.
Replies: >>28578
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>>28577
Sadly, I'm not much of a graffiti artist.
Guy
Opens
Asshole
To
Show
Everyone
Replies: >>28580
>>28579
Greatest
Of
All
Time
Shows
Everyonehisasshole
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Why is new thread creation disabled? I wanted to make another Ashley Tracker thread because the old one is full >>25004
Replies: >>28585
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>>28584
I think Ashley disabled thread creation to prevent summerfags from creating new threads every time they posted. My question is why has the board been so dead lately? There are always ten to twenty users present and hardly anyone is posting?
Replies: >>28595 >>28611
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>>28585
Must be the same disgruntled, loser, summer fags that are trying to change Ashley's board into a porn board.
Replies: >>28596 >>28600
>>28595
And it's not even good porn. It's shit you would expect a dothead to post.
>>28595
It does get annoying when I browse this place on my Obama phone in public and have to be very discrete due to the coomer brain faggots spamming porn because there's nothing else they can contribute on here.
>>28600
I dont mind if it relates to something but its always a low quality screenshot with "durrr this is a lot like me and ashley". She should get rid of it like she did with the gay spam.
Replies: >>28617
>>28600
>when I browse this place on my Obama phone in public
Normalfags and phonefags get the rope. I don't like the porn spammer either but your annoyance is an unexpectedly positive outcome.
>>28585
>There are always ten to twenty users present
It wasnt always like this... you dont know what you got til its gone
Ashley is a tech porn star, just like Sasha Grey.
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>>28604
>a low quality screenshot with "durrr this is a lot like me and ashley".
Replies: >>28621
There could be a /babyboys/ containment board to screen newfags. It could be the tubgurl equivalent of /b/ where threads automatically 404 after some time and good threads would be moved here to be continued giving OP membership. We could have just made the endchan board a containment board and kept this board somewhat private. I don't know if this can be done or if it would even be good idea. I know containment channels work well to keep the riffraff out of discord groups.
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>>28617
Mmmmmmmm is that a guy FUCKING a chick? AAAAaawwww fuuuuuck yeeeaaah duuuuuude! I'm cooommming sooooo fucking hard right now! I fucking LOVE porn! TITS PUSSY ASS COCK BALLS CUM 58274000 DIFFERENT SEX POSITIONS I LOVE PUSSSY I DREAM OF PUSSY FUCKING SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX TWO PEOPLE FUCKING LOUD MOANS SCERAMING FUCK FUCK FCUK CUM AND PUSSY JUICE ALL OVER THE FURNITURES PORN PORN PORN HOT SEXY YOUNG CHICKS WITH TATTOOS FUCKING SUCCKING AND FUCKING CUM FAT FUCKING ASSES SPREADING PUSSY DRIP DRIP DRIP YUUMMY UNYMMY YUMMY I AM STRAIGHT AND LOVE WATCHING WOMEN GETTTING FUCKEDF BY OTHER MEN SHOOTING FUCKING CUM ALL OVER MY WALMART SOCKS BIG FUCKING MOMMMY TITS DICK SUCKING LIPS OOZING WITH THICK CUM PORN PORN PORN PRONN RPONR OROIN CORN FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP
Replies: >>28622
>>28621
Ashley pls
>>28619
Thats retarded to do with a dead board because the traffic would be even slower. Plus how could you actually even implement that without having some sort of account system of approved posters? Then nothing is anonymous anymore. The newfag thread and void are good enough imo. Honestly the newfags arent what make this place insufferable. Its the porn spam, gay spam, political spam and the people who are like retarded parrots who respond to your post with exactly what you said. Sometimes I write up a post then decide not to post it because I already know the type of dumb unsatisfying responses the post will get.
>>28619
>muh sekrit club
/pol/fags whine about lack of gatekeeping as a way to imply they're elite early-adopters. This is because far-right people are generally poor and they've never had an opportunity to feel elite before. You saw the same retarded attitude in regards to 8chan (supposedly elite and based, ignore the illiterate trailer park natsocs) vs 4chan (which never really changed in quality). Newfags are fine.
Replies: >>28641 >>28648
>>28623
New thread creation is disabled on this board. Why not let people create threads on a separate board? If they're any good, they can be moved. If they're not, well, nothing of value is lost when they're pruned.

This wouldn't require accounts or anything gay like that.

>>28619
>4chan (which never really changed in quality)
...is what a newfag would say. 4chan used to be a lot better. Note that 4chan is not just /b/, but even /b/ used to be much more interesting than it is now (when I checked it was just porn and nothing else).
Replies: >>28627
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>>28626
small imageboards like this inevitably die or become super SUPER slow once the admins add a bunch of different boards. This is usually because the admins have a big ego and think "yeah well MY board is going to be soooo popular I need all these different boards! It'll be too cluttered if I don't make a board for every single possible category!!!" but what happens is the already small community becomes fragmented. So you end up with all these different boards, each of which gets MAYBE 1-2 posts per day.

Look at endchan. The only really popular board is the russian one. Most of the top 10 boards have under 30 users per day. Hundreds of boards have basically no movement whatsoever.

20ish active users per day is actually really quite good for an "alt" chan. I can come here once or twice a day and usually find something to shitpost about or respond to someone about something. That's because everyone is packed onto one board that already has threads/generals for pretty much any topic you could want. I enjoy tech discussions, but something else usually catches my eye and I end up posting in other threads. If there was a tubgurl /tech/ board, I would probably just check that out and not bother looking at any of the other boards. Thus, my spur-of-the-moment posts wouldn't be made, and less posts overall would be made, which would help to fuel the lack of interaction, etc. I think you should be able to see where I'm going with this.

tldr we don't need more boards. 99% of the time if you want to discuss something there's already a general thread. A handful of active generals is so much better than dozens of 10-reply threads.

You are absolutely correct about 4chan being dog shit. Despite the meme of 4chan never being good, it is true that 4chan used to be a hell of a lot better than it is now. /b/ is just another porn board, which certainly isn't what it was in the late 2000s when I started browsing.
Replies: >>28630 >>28637
I occasionally lock thread creation when the board is too frequently spammed with Chester spam. It doesn't have anything to do with low quality threads, that's exactly why I made The Void and the newfag thread. I just move dead on arrival threads into these threads. No extra boards are necessary and >>28627 sums up exactly why extra boards are a bad idea. There's probably 200 threads on this board already, so a new thread isn't really necessary right now and if it is (there's 2 full generals), I'll create them so I don't have to look at a god awful thread someone else created for the next 5 months.
>>28627
>small imageboards like this inevitably die or become super SUPER slow once the admins add a bunch of different boards
I see what you're saying but that doesn't really make sense. As long as there's the overboard you will still see the same number of posts. I've learned by now on alt chans to basically always check the overboard
Replies: >>28638
>>28637
So you're saying that in order for small/slow imageboards to be easily browsed, it's best to just check one board (in this case, the overboard)?
>>28623
>>28625
It's good to know Ashley has top men getting to the bottom of it all
>>28623
Thats retarded to do with a dead board because the traffic would be even slower. Plus how could you actually even implement that without having some sort of account system of approved posters? Then nothing is anonymous anymore. The newfag thread and void are good enough imo. Honestly the newfags arent what make this place insufferable. Its the porn spam, gay spam, political spam and the people who are like retarded parrots who respond to your post with exactly what you said. Sometimes I write up a post then decide not to post it because I already know the type of dumb unsatisfying responses the post will get.
>>28600
>when I browse this place on my Obama phone in public
Even a fool knows that one must never browse Ashley's websites in public. 🙄
>>27156
https://endchan.org/agatha2/res/7748.html#87153
You_Just_Can't_Buy_Freedom.mp3
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>>28625
The right has been owning libs since 1619. Better to be far-right than far-wrong, demboy.

[Verse]
Kids these days only care about drama
and the only times I ever experienced trauma
was the night that I lost my mama
and the day they sworn in Obama

[Verse 2]
A man is supposed to be built Ford tough
and all he needs is his pickup truck
and maybe just a little luck
and that all changed the day the Japs shot the place up

[Chorus]
you see
you and me was meant to be free
from sea to shining sea
and you just can't buy freedom with E B T
Replies: >>28649
>>28648
Literally electing Caesar won't change the fact that you'll always be working class
Replies: >>28678
>>28649
Cry more, Bobo
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Whenever Im about to watch a new Ashley video, i stand like this for a good 2 minutes before I watch it. 
this is my way of preparing both my body and mind for what Im about to experience. Recently, I have started to stand on a small box, so my my vantage point is higher up and I can look even further down at the cumpter that I will viewing her latest creation on

What about you tubbies? do you have any pre watch rituals?
>>28688
>do you have any pre watch rituals?
I make sure the lube and tissues are nearby
>pre watch rituals
lmao wut i'm usually late or don't even show up at all
just got my new 4k monitor!
i can now enjoy ashley's little virtual space in higher resolution
Replies: >>28714 >>28720
>>28688
>precum watch rituals?
yes
>holds breath 
>spray paints teeth
>>28707
What monitor?
Replies: >>28715 >>28720
>>28714
oh you know, a monitor
Replies: >>28717
>>28715
based vaguefag
Replies: >>28720
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>>28714
>>28717
picrel

>>28707
watching ashleys 240p video on a 4k monitor? what a fucking waste of pixels!
>>28688
A new Ashley video soon? Yay!
28750 get
Replies: >>28751 >>28754
>>28750
hell yeah!
>>28750
waht
Replies: >>28755
>>28754
What?

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