/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.

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Nasty fucks
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filters are getting really good. the left is ashley with filters off and the right is ashley with filters on.
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tbh, it would be funny to see her in one of those prosthetic fat suits
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no it wouldn't
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yeah it would
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I interviewed Styx for real, but his original answers were totally unamusing to me. So I completely altered my questions afterwards and took his statements completely out of context. This is the result.

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That's correct, I'm CEO.
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But I am looking to merger with another company ;)
Rise and grind bb
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You're gay too but for far less money. It may be back to work for me, but it's back to Grindr for you.

Ha! My family used to own your little bitch nigger mom. We did own slaves but I'm referring to the dog. KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE REKT, etc. and whatever other pea-brained crap you Pavlovian responders answer to.

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Press S to sniff
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>>13026 (OP) 
Ash did you know I have a natural solution to getting rid of armpit sweat?
Replies: >>13288
yeah its called Bandit's tongue
lucky shit gets to lick both the feets and da pits
I'm sure that's all a bunch of bullshit.
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>Deodorant clogs your armpit holes
Only anti- perspirant only does this, but deodorant for some reason doesn't. I think because it's water based or something? I can't remember why and I'm too lazy to look it up. 

On a side note, my old coworker was one of those holistic healing neo-hippie type of chicks and said she consumed liquid chlorophyll to completely rid of her BO and swore by it. I always wanted to give it a shot, but have been putting it off for far too long.

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Does anyone know what song Ashely used in her video 'Mother Undercover'? I used Shazam but it didn't work. Thanks
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I don't know if this is the somg she's referring to but Ron Sexsmith originally wrote and sang "Straeberry Blonde" back in 1997. The attached video is a more recent one of him singing it
Replies: >>13154
More like the "trollface meme" if you ask me
whats the Tyrone Magnus video?
no BBC jokes please
this is basically just yaht rock final countdown lol
Replies: >>13158
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I don't know,I kinda like some yacht soft rock music like Seals and Croft, Bobby Caldwell, George Benson (really good smooth jazz if you're into smooth jazz)

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Fascinating that this exists again. How is everyone? Tell us a bit about what happened to you guys these past years.

I started reading the quran recently, great topic of conversation with taxi drivers. Also, I gained and lost a really great girlfriend, got a pretty cool job and am slowly turning into a workaholic.
Replies: >>13131
>>13122 (OP) 
>Fascinating that this exists again.
Are you saying that you recently rediscovered Ashley or are you referring to the memories of a previous incarnation in the yuga cycle?
Replies: >>13135
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Well, I mostly meant that there's a somewhat active imageboard again. Brings back memories of early twenties obsession, talking to other ashlings and laughing about the more ridiculous ones.

If this happened in an earlier cycle, all memories of it have been erased. So a strictly mundane rediscovery.

How about your memories friend?
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I didn't browse the old board as much back in the day, I'd watch Ashley's YouTube videos and see /pol/ threads about her, I still remember the WorldStarHipHop drama, good times. It's too bad I missed out on the livestreams, they seemed like fun. I might have messaged her on Google+ one time but can't remember if she responded to me.

After Ashley left, I worked a few shit jobs until I found a good one in another city, moved out of my parent's house, planted roots, travelled, mostly relaxing now, maybe a little too much. These past few years flew by pretty quick. Oh well, I'm just glad it's officially Autumn season now.
Replies: >>13144
Sounds like you had a few good or at least mostly good years. Happy to hear that! I definitely get what you mean about years flying by. It's the same for me - actually, I think there was a Rose vYou short about exactly that topic. Probably a universal notion.

If things ever get too relaxing, just remember the chaotic energy and dynamism that I'm sure is still in you somewhere.

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Hey Ashley, I bet this comes as a big surprise for you, but we all got together and made you a card. Merry Christmas, we love you!
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Sorry, Anon, I win. She's mine. See you at the All You Can Eat.
Replies: >>4333
Sure, you can come along on our date ...if you can get up. Ashley can only hand feed one one of us. Don't think I won't tip you over on your rascal scooter, Seabee.
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Guys I'm excited for Christmas already.

What should we do for Ashley this year?
Replies: >>13134 >>13137

hire her one of those fancy Asian escorts that I see advertised at the back of my dads nudey magazines 
but prank her and make it a Thai lady boy
I think there was suppose to be a secret santa thingy this year.

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Where were you when the gover-uh-terrorists blew up the World Trade Center?
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>other than ash has anyone actually watched sex pot? any good?
I put it on and my little nephew walked in right when the tits were on and he said, "anon what are you doing? Why are you watching this?". I ignored him and kept beating off hoping he'd go away. I could only last 10 minutes before I realized Ash's movie taste has ascended mine and I wasn't worthy of watching such a hidden gem.
Replies: >>12793
God I wanna sniff between Taz's legs (no homo)
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The fifth annual Frasier Crane Day would be a day they would never forget. The world would be different place now if only the barista at the Starbucks had not made Niles' latte incorrectly so they would have arrived at the Jedi Temple in time to warn the council. "I said double decaf non-fat latte, medium foam, dusted with just the faintest whisper of cinnamon. I very clearly asked for a whisper of cinnamon and he's given me a full-throated shout! There are countries in this world where they would lop off his sprinkling hand!"

Original Bait Post

Check out some of the replies and QT's. 





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lole i have that pictur too it is one of my favorites and also heres another one that is funni
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funny bih i <3
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<3 womena
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Is this the thotty thread?
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Whenever I make edits or reposts on twitter, I always make sure to add a link to Ash's site.

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By popular request, the thread for all things chinese.
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It’s not a false dichotomy, it’s facts bro. What if you end up sleeping with a man thinking it’s a woman.
Replies: >>12828
Do something, I would like to see you try.
Sounds like a personal problem, bro.
Replies: >>12853
So you like trannies?
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I like fixed trannies. I've blown a tranny in my car before. Blowing trannies sucks hard but I knew a guy and he only charged me 300 bucks because he likes to get his hands dirty.

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>no you don't get it dude, the web design is shitty and eyecancer ON PURPOSE, it's like a heckin' throwback to le web1.0 geocities! So epic and based!
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I don't know about good women, but if I were trying to make Ashley my gf, I'd use some cringey pick up lines to make her horny like, "Did you fart because you just blew me away." or "My love for you is like diarrhea and I can't hold it in any longer." or "If you were a vegetable... you'd be a lot easier to rape in a coma ward."
im so high right now i dont even know where i am. :(
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Pretty sure you just closed your eyes anon. Don't worry I called the cops. Help is on the way.
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