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How do you guys feel about just getting a whole ham once in a while (not for a holiday)? 

Also food thread: ash and non-ash approved recipes.
485 replies and 261 files omitted. View the full thread
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Macaroni
Replies: >>18004
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>>18003
lookin good

>>17908
I want Ashley to review what i had for tea tonight.

3 microwaved hotdogs on 2 pieces of wholemeal bread and for a treat, a spread of margarine
Replies: >>18026
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>>18021
Popeyes chicken HELLWICH
>>18004
Oh, blimey
That looks scrumptious, eh old bean? what what
Gawd Sa-yve tha King

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ASHLEYS AWARDS SHOW IS SOON TO AIR LIVE ON THE INTERNET
An entire year's worth of curating weird submissions in forms of videos, news stories, and generally strange and bizarre people, will all compete for an award, hosted by yours truly, Ashley Jones. Join Ashley on her first Tosh.Hoe Awards Show, which is pre-recorded but aired LIVE on https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones

THE AWARDS SHOW AIRS LIVE SUNDAY DECEMBER 31ST, 2023 AT:
8pm PST | 9pm MST | 10pm CST | 11pm EST
https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones

Invite anyone who may be interested.
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>>17573
No, sir. I'm not. But don't hold that against me.
>>17574
Uh I don't know what country you're from but your post is from 5 hours ago and it's only a quarter past 10 right now in the Upper Southwestern Standard Timezone daylight savings of course (USWSTDST). Who doesn't know this?
>>17574
no its 3 AM
Replies: >>17587 >>17588
>>17586
What? Its 1am in the US right now
Replies: >>17588
>>17586
>>17587
ummm ackshelly it's 4 AM rn

I think ashley should meet with varg virkenes.
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I disagree anon
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I'll agree to disagree
Replies: >>17398
nah thats cringe
>>17394
I second that motion
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Varg hates america.
The last thing I read from him went something like this: "i hope your (referring to usa) rotten empire dies soon, we can find healthier alternatives from china, just like russia. Splash (spit)." It was during the covid pandemic. I think he must not have changed his mind much.

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What is she praying/hoping for? What do you think she really, really wants?

Fill in the bubble!
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obligatory DN
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Obligatory Droste Effect.
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I taped me showing my room in great detail. I also taped my day and something actually interesting happened somehow. I'm very easily amused, though.

Camcorder video: https://videos.icum.to/w/k6sA9Z4ChCZohcw1uUcDpo


Also I finished the lyrics to Turkey Song. The turkey is a Swiss army knife because I thought they looked like turkiez.
Turkey song: https://videos.icum.to/w/87BzLiNGN2p8uHsj1WjHn4
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>>17069
Its only smells
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Ashley and this guy have similar looking rooms.
Replies: >>17163 >>17191
>>17154
Yeah, but Ashley still has a bigger cock
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>>17154
he is going to fuck that thing isnt he?...
>Ashley and this guy have similar looking rooms.
He even has a picture of a Hamburger like pic related...

too many coincidences?
Replies: >>17196
>>17191
He has
>garfield comic on wall
>stop light like ashleys stop sign
>hamburger on wall like ashleys hamurger helper boxes
and most important
>autism

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Elliot here. I'm coming out... again. No, this time it's not about me being a lesbian or a transgender. I'm coming out as the 17,000th poster.
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>>17000 (OP) 
>>17000 (OP) 
nice get "bro"

17,000? is that the number of surgeries you needed to look like 10% of a male?
hey elliot, when are you gonna >>GET your penis?
>>17000 (OP) 
nice digits you managed to GET
but I hear you arent GETTING many acting roles these days

You're really racist? Just curious.
Replies: >>9804
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I hate everyone.
Replies: >>17018
https://rumble.com/v2xxnma-behold-a-pale-horse-the-islamic-overthrow-of-europe.html
>>9799 (OP) 
I'm not actually racist, I genuinely don't dislike or hate certain races. I make off-colored jokes and some brainwashed people would equate jokes to genuine hatred, but any normal person can realize a joke versus a genuine vendetta. Some of my viewers might hold grudges against certain races, and while I don't personally agree with it, I don't delete those posts because this is a place of discussion. It's not constructive to delete posts that are discussing a topic, even if that topic is taboo, and even if people disagree with their statement.

As for trannies. I think people should be able to do what they want, so long as those choices don't harm those around them. It might harm my eyes but who cares what some dude wants to wear? So in that line of thought, I think trannies should be able to dress however they want. I reserve the right to think it's weird, but I won't go out and harass some fruitcake.

I do get bothered with the hyper-politicizing of everything. I don't mind trannies being weirdos and dressing as they want. I do mind that it gets turned political, as everything else does these days. We're past the days of a guy wearing a dress. Transgender means something completely different. Now it's an ideology and not just some lipstick. People take it too seriously, and I think they like being persistent victims. I remember in the 2000's there was some guy that was an OBVIO
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>>9800
Bring back smug Hitler
Replies: >>17028
>>17018
Hey Thad, you were awesome on the new year's show. And congrats for winning the ashley award. I hope you and ash do more content together tbh!

And just to stay on topic, don't worry, nobody here is actually racist. nigger

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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>>16797
House Of The Rising Cum, Funny stuff  Maybe we can get Eric Burdon and The Animals to sing your version. Sure to be a hit.
>>16797
We need to say this as a prayer everyday, lord ashley
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Buona Befana
>make new years resolution
>never shit in a public bathroom ever again
>goes good for first few days
>start getting nervous about maintaining goal
>anxiety gives me IBS
>trying to hold in shit during my 8 hour shift
>farts keep slipping their way out on accident
>sweating bullets now
>flexing ass muscles so much to keep shit in that my ass looks like 1980s peak Arnold Schwarzenegger
>shit reabsorbs into my body
>shit stress goes away for another few hours
>now I have a nice muscley ass
Happy new year bros
Replies: >>17024
>>17001
>trying to hold in shit during my 8 hour shift
dude u need to harness the power of your IBS and get out all your shit before your 8 hr shit, i mean shift

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Ash, as promised, an erotic short story about you.

            THE ENCOUNTER

I came home and took a shower and dried myself off. It was warm in the house so I didn't bother getting dressed.I laid down on the bed. A short time later I heard a cute little voice say, "Hi". I recognized the voice and looked up and it was her. I reached for a blanket to cover myself but she said, "Don't cover yourself on my account." She sat on the edge of the bed and removed her black ankle length boots.

She stood up and removed her tee shirt revealing the most impecably small perfect breasts that emphasized her perfect little pink nipples. I began to feel a tingle you know where. She turned away from me. She began to slowly remove her jeans and gave a few wiggles with her cute little butt. She turned facing me revealing the most faultless camel toe pushing against her white cotton panties. She began to remove her panties but I told her to cease and desist since I wanted to savor the view of that enchanting little camel toe. She gave me that look, the patented smirk that only she can pull off. After about a half minute I relinquished and she slowly removed her panties revealing her "happy trail" as she called it which started at her mons veneris and ended at a perfectly manicured vulva. I became hard as dimonds. 

She threw her panties at me and I caught them and pressed it close to my face. Her panties were warm from her body heat as if the panties were just ironed. The scent was a treat for my olfactory glands. The scent was like fresh strawberries with just the slightest hint of musk. 

She walked towards me with the over exagerated walk and facial glare of an anorexic runway model. She was toying with me and I was willing to play.

She got on the bed looking at me seductively and sat on my stiff horizontal member. She began sliding her little butt back and forth and sometimes bending forward to stimulate her clitoris all the time staring at me like the seductive little imp that she is. Involuntarily my seed sprayed over my face and chest while she and I gave out a mutual orgasmic moan.

She bent forward to lick and clean my chest and face and I noticed a cute little blue hair ribbon that she was wearing to tie  tie up her little pony tail that she is famous for.
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Replies: >>17014 + 8 earlier
>>9389
>>9397
maybe thats what alien anons encounter was like when they took him.
Lots of probing, poking and prodding.
Replies: >>9553
>>9389
>So are you guys just gonna stand there or are you gonna help me continue humping the shit out of my mom's pillow?
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>>9409
Like in the case of Whitley Strieber?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10y6wIKIRTM
>>8308 (OP) 
BTW, SeaBee, I didn't know you wrote stories before. Nice! I'm new in this neck of the woods and I stumbled upon your stories by chance. Good job, sir.
Replies: >>17017
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>>17014
Yeah, I've written a few stories about Ashley and I. I'm glad you enjoyed them. I haven't written one in a while the latest being Casablanca. I enjoyed your story about Ashley being the singer and I'm looking forward to part 2 of your latest story.

I figured you were new here by the name you're using. Welcome aboard.

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Happy New Year, Ash and Ashlings.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!!!
2022 has been nothing but a constant struggle for me. The only good thing to come out of it was Ashley and my kittens.

I had two dreams about Ashley last night.

I woke up in a bed in a dark room and there was someone in the bed with me. So I turn the light on my phone and it was Ashley sleeping next to me. Then I heard a noise. So I try to wake Ashley up but she won't get up. I get out of bed and went towards the bedroom door to open it and I was in this house with an open plan where the kitchen, living room and dining room where all the same room. All the lights were turned on. The TV was on and the dishwasher was running because I could hear it humming. There were Christmas decorations still up and aluminum trays of food and half empty bottles of alcohol and soda on the counter. I felt like someone was in the room with me but I didn't see anyone and began walking down a hallway towards a door left ajar with blue light coming from the room at the end of the hallway. Then a door opens on the left side of the hallway and a light turns off and Ashley walks out and goes into the room with the blue light and shuts the door behind her. It freaked me out because I knew Ashley was in the room with me and I turned around to go back to that room and Ashley was standing there behind me and she said it was only Ashley. And that's when I realized that it wasn't Ashley. It was another Ashley because Ashley's name isn't actually Ashley. The Ashley in the hallway was her daugh
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Happy new year to everyone!
lets hope our lives can get just that lil bit better, not expecting much, but a slight improvement would suffice
We made it another year everyone!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

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