/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.

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Spill the beans.
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No, a bump limit just means the thread gets locked, which means you can't reply anymore. You can still see and read the thread. You can check the catalog https://tubgurl.com/ashleyj/catalog.html to find an older thread.
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OP here, I am absolutely appalled by all of you.
Replies: >>8462
I didn’t even tell you my worst confessions

I had a dream I came on my own face and Ashley licked it off
When I was 13 I used to point my dick up to the shower stream to overstimulate my dick tip till a little bit of water would get in my urethra and my body would reflexively pee to get it out. I did this a lot. So one day I was getting my first blowjob from my first gf. Felt amazing. Get done. She wants to keep sucking after I came. Yes. Keeps going. I get that same shower dick feeling. I involuntarily piss a phat golden shower into her mouth and she swallows it all down. Anon, did you cum? Yeah, why? That one tasted different. Are your SURE that was cum? I doubled down and said yeah I'm pretty sure. She looked like she saw a ghost. She said hold on and she went to the bathroom and puked my piss and cum out.
Replies: >>8534
There's seriously a sus amount of golden shower stories going around on this board. I have a blowjob story but not involving piss. When I was in my junior year in high school there was one night in particular that I stayed up all night playing video games and knew I had to skip school because I was going to be dead in class and it just wasn't going to be a good situation. Long story short I call up this chick who was home schooled to go and hide out at her place. Her parents work during the day so we have the house to ourselves. So the morning goes by and we're watching tv and chatting. Eventually I get tired and start to fall asleep on the couch. She tells me just sleep in her bed and takes me to her room. I wake up later an she is kissing on my neck and cuddling me up. One thing leads to another and she starts blowing me. I'm 16 or 17 and this is one of my first sexual experiences. I have an insane orgasm in her mouth. I'm quivering, moaning out loud, digging my fingers into her scalp. An 11/10 that lasted for an eternity and felt like I shot a gallon's worth down her throat. Cool right? Here's the confession part: I didn't realize how long we had been asleep. It's almost 4pm and I have to get home for the usual time I get home from school. I walk out of her room to leave and both of her parents are sitting at the kitchen table glaring at me. They heard everything. It was so awkward and embarrassing an
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How does it feel to be the goofiest goober?
Replies: >>8524 >>8530 >>8532
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>>8498 (OP) 
It feels great!
>>8498 (OP) 
It has its good days and bad days, sometimes you just have to ride it out and see where life takes you and hope for best.
>>8498 (OP) 

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Quick, post divine metaphysics.
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Arcane philosophy and ritual magic are for abnormies. Practical magic is for supernormies.
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>tfw want gf
>tfw you realize theyre all insane
We need to clone ashleys like they clone horse dildos
Replies: >>8401 >>8405
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>>8400 (OP) 
Don't worry ash, you'll get a gf someday
>>8400 (OP) 
Haven't had a gf since covid lockdowns and it really doesn't bother me at all. 
>tfw you realize theyre all insane
This is a pretty big reason why. The juice isn't worth the squeeze and there are 23 other hours in the day. Dating apps are really a few moral steps away from prostitution. They will never provide the same initial bond that meeting organically does. Of course, lastly, there's the pussy hyperinflation on the dating apps that's ridiculous. Every woman above a three wants to hold out for a ten.
But there's hope: 1) Men age well and do perfectly fine dating younger women. 2) We're only 10 or 20 years out from fully functional Ashley clones.
Replies: >>8407
I have jokes I keep holstered when women well, legal teens and younger 20-somethings bring up our age difference. You just make them laugh and they realize it's no big deal. I agree, juice isn't worth the squeeze. The sad thing is that I find it's this way with male friends as well. It's hard to find one that understands weird humor, who isn't bought into fake politics, who understand privacy and technology concerns. Most people you meet you have to smile and nod, pretending to relate but you're censoring yourself because you know it's no use getting into how you actually think and feel about the world.

TikTok Tranny.png
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Ashley made an entire movie.

A formerly internet famous tomboy realizes her days of internet fame are long gone. No longer receiving the online attention she craves, she turns to drastic measures to reclaim her stardom. Even if that means becoming a "female to male to female" transgender to get TikTok famous. Follow her journey to deceive hundreds of thousands of internet users in her quest for online attention, with the raunchiest, most offensive, and tone deaf documentary of recent times.

December 3rd, 2022. Premieres livestreamed free on Endchan's Cytube channel: https://cytu.be/r/endcorner
Times: 4pm EST | 3pm CST | 2pm MST | 1pm PST
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Have you really not watched it yet? TikTok Tranny is unironically one of the weirdest, funniest "b" movies I've ever seen. I wish more people did stuff like it
Replies: >>8329
I'm just kidding. I wish I got to watch it with everyone when it premiered on Cytube back in December. But then again, I like to watch Ashley's videos with full attention and not get distracted by the chat, though it is fun bantering with Ashley and friends during the screening. I still think it would be funny getting her movie to play at a local movie theater but she will have to edit out all the gay pornography and her armpit hair.
Replies: >>8332 >>8340
The Cytube events are a great time to hangout and have laughs with friends as we all experience the latest Ashley Jones creation.
But then you rewatch it by yourself and you pickup a lot of little gags that you didnt notice at the CyTube premier.
You kind of get to experience two different but great treats from the one video.
idk if that makes sense, its just one of the things i really like 

It was a really special time. It was like getting together with your besties in a gay jerk of theater to watch your favorite show. We had a really good turn out even though no one really shilled it. What a time to be alive
Replies: >>8353
dude yeah there were like 50+ people there, which is about 50 more people than would usually attend the endchan movie nights lol.

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I got an OnlyFans
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Have any of you guys ever cummed all over a hairy pussy? If you don't touch it, it just sort of sits on their hair. I make sure to rub my dick all over it to mush it into their hair, so that if they don't shower right away their pubes have to smell like my cum for however many hours. I imagine this pleasure is similar to the feeling gay guys get when they nut in each other's beards
Replies: >>8294 >>8326
Okay, I'll try to cum on my cat. I'm not sure if he gonna like that, but if you see something special in that, then maybe it's worth a try.
Replies: >>8297
i cum on cat she hiss at penis
Replies: >>8326
classic have a (You) ..... (You) deserve it! 

cant say Ive done either but sometimes after I ejaculate, some of it gets on my pubes and its a pain to wipe off properly so I just leave it there.

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Share news here.
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Spoirer that shit desu!!! thisu notto /por/!!! (◣_◢)

Escape the ordinary, embrace the extraordinary.
Who You?: I am Tahiti. I rove vacation! 🗿🍹
<Ristening to: SCANDAL - Harukaze
<Rink: https://invidious.sethforprivacy.com/watch?v=id7O6MGqT2I 🎵🕺
>Location: Long Island, Bahamas 🌏✈️
What were Venezuelans doing in Texas?
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"There once was a man from Nantucket."
Channel 69 will be bringing you more details from this story as it develops.

What is this site
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shitting and farting enthusiast forum
If you say the right combination of words we ship a year's worth of laxatives and refried beans to your place of work.
Replies: >>8118
If it doesn't ship directly into my asshole, I'm giving a 4 star review only
>>8112 (OP) 
Bienvenido, en este tablón también hablamos español.
thinly veiled website about a female comedian when its actually a place to talk about poop, penises and watch naked Nikocado Avocado webms

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Do you want FRIES WITH THAT >>8000 GET?
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Replies: >>8037 >>8056 + 2 earlier
Derrick, I just want you to know that I hate you with every fiber of my being


I'd still kiss you on the mouth if you wanted to
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didnt use the Derrick flag

doesnt count

>>8000 (OP) 
fuck u derrick I had to go back to wageslaving I was trying to time this but dont have the time now
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>>8000 (OP) 
Derrick fucked up my order

how hard is it to get 6 Chicken McNuggets?
did this kid even pass 5th grade....
Spend more time in your online zoom school sessions and less time getting GETS

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this is a lot like me and ashley
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Replies: >>7795
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Now what role would a reptilian play in this?
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