/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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I promised a surprise on January 1st. Here it is. I'd like to formally announce the 1st annual 2023 Cuckies Awards™®©. This is an hour-ish long Grammys-style awards ceremony intended to honor the biggest cucks, buffoons, weirdos and their victims, weirdness, stupidity, examples of societal decay, and general fuck ups of the year.

In this thread we gather together to share pictures, news stories, webms, and videos as submissions for the annual Cuckies Awards™®© show. All formal submissions for the cuckies will go here.

Examples from 2022: 1) The entire Canadian public watching the Canadian Shop teacher with juicy fake tits give his students wood. 2) Anyone who invested in LUNA or thought it was a good idea to trust a centralized exchange ran by a curly haired jew sex pervert. 3) The owner of the suitcase that was stolen by that bald government tranny. 4) All the guys in my movie who thought I had a penis.

The ceremony will be airing pre-recorded but live in early December 2023, date TBA. Formal attire to attend The Cuckies is required. I will be wearing a swanky black dress, gloves, and any costume jewelry I find while thrifting this year. I need your help with this one guys, if we want a fantastic show, submit your best stuff. A panel of experts (me) will be picking. Taking suggestions for categories, ideas for the show, etc. It's going to be well produced. We will even have "commercials" (by me), "musical guests" (by me), and more.
487 replies and 204 files omitted. View the full thread
>>15442
>Revels-Glick claimed it only took her 20 seconds to finish the raunchy act.

god damn, i thought i was fast, but 20 seconds?
is that normal for a woman?
Can Ashley beat that time?
>>15442
Apparently she committed suicide shortly after the arrest footage went viral.

https://wealthypeeps.com/christina-revels-glick-suicide-arrested-shamed/
>>15442
Damn this bitch talked her way into being arrested. Had she just kept her mouth shut, she probably would have been able to walk away.
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>An electrician who had sex with more than 100 corpses over a 15-year period was able to do so without being detected due to serious failures of "management, governance, regulation and processes, and a persistent lack of curiosity," a new 300-plus page inquiry report found.

https://www.foxnews.com/world/hospital-worker-sex-more-100-corpses-15-years-undetected-serious-failures
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>>15442

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I'm sure you are surprised (again) but we all came together to make you a special Christmas card for our special needs girl.
Merry Christmas and lots of love Ashley!
14 replies and 10 files omitted. View the full thread
>>16452
kek yeah that was actually pretty funny and unexpected, I caught it the first time I watched the video but I could easily see how you'd miss it
>>16437
Merry Christmas.
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>>16452
No, I didn't and I'm not going to re re visit the vid to find out
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Dangerous blizzard conditions hit Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas. Stay safe, stay cozy, Ashley.
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Auguri yall 🥂

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Post one of your favorite Christmas songs that put you in the seasonal mood.
Here's mine  https://youtu.be/vP46Hgy7H7A
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>>16303
when I was a kid I had an uncle who really loved me
>>16305
when the spoon left I heard it really broke the plate into a million pieces ;(
>>16301
The HANDLE of the fork is plastic, the fork itself is metal. Are you blind??

>>16303
Yeah I prefer cutlery with a handle too, it feels weird and bare without it

>>16307
The plate isn't plastic either

Some of you people are actually retarded
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I'm leaking Rose's 2023 Christmas video.
https://vid.puffyan.us/watch?v=lYRsgcVUTvk

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Ho! Ho! Ho!

You've all been such naughty little boys, but thats ok. Mommy dearest still loves you!
Merry Getmas sweeties.
4 replies and 1 file omitted. View the full thread
Replies: >>16100 + 2 earlier
>>16000 (OP) 
Derricks mom is like Cartmans mom and Derrick is like an emaciated Cartman
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Auguri
Replies: >>16364
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>>16349
I am using Mixtral gguf 4.0 quant
32GB Ram 
No GPU
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The modern web is garbage, why try to spread Ashley online when we should all want to spread Ashley in real life? This is the Spread Ashley Campaign.

Do your part to share her videos with the world. There are many ways you can do this. Let us discuss how we would spread Ashley.

I will be contributing to the Spread Ashley Campaign. I've made a few fliers for the cause.

All fliers these would be ideal inside toilet stalls, by bus stops, on lamp posts, a communal billboard. (That is, if you get consent from the property owner of these places.) You could also put these on people's cars (with their consent. Ask the owner of the car if you have their permission to put the flier on their car).

Challenge mode: Take a picture of the flier where you posted it. You will gain extra internet points.
124 replies and 49 files omitted. View the full thread
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>>16118
>However, the good news is I found a similarly sized black and white photo that suits me. All will be revealed at a time in the future. You'll see. You'll all see.
>You'll see. You'll all see.
Ashley scares me when she says that line

please dont be a blown up photo of Ambatukam's blown out asshole
please dont be a blown up photo of Ambatukam's blown out asshole
please dont be a blown up photo of Ambatukam's blown out asshole
please dont be a blown up photo of Ambatukam's blown out asshole
please dont be a blown up photo of Ambatukam's blown out asshole
please dont be a blown up photo of Ambatukam's blown out asshole
Replies: >>16202
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>>16194
Don't be scared, bro, you'll see.
>>16138
>Seth Autismo Rollins
thats gimmick infringement boi
Replies: >>16326
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>>16320
Ive been watching a lot of pro wrestling promos lately.
I dont watch WWE or AEW or anything like that, wrestling is kinda gay tbh. Just for some odd reason I got into watching all the best promos on youtube.
I wrote that post after watching MJF and CM Punk. Its a fun creative writing exercise to write posts like that.

As for Seth Rollins, last week I had a very brief NON SEXUAL crush on him, specifically the time when he was a part of the Shield, not the metro sexual looking version he is now.
He just looks so cool, I wanted to be like him, idk its hard to explain.
Replies: >>16331
>>16326
I like the flippy beaners

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Post funny pictures, webms, stories, or anything funny
495 replies and 352 files omitted. View the full thread
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>>15999
phone user detected
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<a href="https://albuterol.cyou/">albuterol 90 mcg coupon</a>
5 replies and 2 files omitted. View the full thread
>go to /ashleyj/ for my daily shitposting
>see someone posted a mysterious link
>remember in Ashley's "The Boomer to Zoomer Technology Pipeline" she says people are afraid of TLDs
>decide to man the fuck up and click mysterious link
>end up getting a virus from it
>since i use my phone to browse the internet no one can call me now because of the virus
>my from home business of selling vacuum cleaner replacement parts is now destroyed
>decide to sue Ashley because of it
>she tries to represent her self in court
>she loses
>i win
>she has no money to compensate me for destroying my vacuum cleaner replacement parts business
>come to an agreement that she can pay me by giving me her freshly shaved off armpit PLUS leg hair every month for the rest of her life
>sell said freshly shaved armpit and leg hair to her loserfuck fans
>make s-s-s-s-s-scads of buckeroos
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Replies: >>16170
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>>16165
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I have just found out that :

Ashley has appealed the case
The judge has granted the appeal
Ashley has hired Mordecai as her lawyer
You, my friend, are screwed
Replies: >>16193
>>16170
>You, my friend, are screwed

heh jokes on you Seaman, that was my plan all along to get Ashley to screw me!
Replies: >>16196
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>>16193
>to get Ashley to screw me

Heh, heh, you should of made your post with a pen that writes under delusions of grandeur.
Replies: >>16198
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>>16196
Delusions of grandeur, that's a Weird Paul song.
https://invidious.slipfox.xyz/watch?v=aV3pJEQzbTs

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>rubgurl.com
Replies: >>15879
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Ashley is:
The chief clerk of smirk
The pioneer of leer
The puppeteer of sneer

So delightfully smug

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as she does
Baby, you're the best
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>>15700 (OP) 
Replies: >>15880
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>>15879
Master Ruh Rohl guide us. Master Ruh Rohl teach us. Master Ruh Rohl protect us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve pussy. Our lives are yours.

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An amalgamation of my boredom spent messing with my webcam. Enjoy.

https://videos.icum.to/w/oMs8J4Mgtw8g4gYVcvw6Nt
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>>11031
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>>10906
Fun Movie Detail: For this shot, the tears coming out of Bandits eyes, are in fact, real tears and not GIMPED in.
Replies: >>11200
>>11088
I would buy a t-shirt of this. It reminds me of Brodie's t-shirt from Mallrats. When is the merch dropping? I still need my signed TikTok Tranny movie poster.
>>10981
dicks smell like fish too
also fish smells good
bitch
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why does ashley look so SCRUMPTIOUS in this video??

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Why are her eyes so huge? Is her peni- I mean heart as big as her eyes? uwu
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>>15843
Such a shame that prime 15 year old Ashley didn't have kids... now she's doomed to die alone with only her dogs and horse dildos

CAPTCHA: djcare
The lead singer from Korn is BLACK btw
Replies: >>15855
MONKEY BARS =BIG LONG SWINGING NIGGER DONGS THE HORSE DILDO IS PAINTEDTHIS IS A MOSSAD PSYOP
Replies: >>15856
>>15853
No I'm not

~JD
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>>15854
>BIG LONG SWINGING NIGGER DONGS

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