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Ashley isn't the world's best cook. And that's exactly why she's the world's best cooking teacher.

https://videos.icum.to/w/e5bTJCqxGfq14zfY25VG57
62 replies and 29 files omitted. View the full thread
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>>25723
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Ashley would make a good housewife.
Replies: >>25945 >>25947
>>25941
I think you need to watch the video.
Replies: >>25949
>>25941
is that what the Stairway to Heaven is?
>>25945
And I don't think there's enough bubble gum in your spaghetti.

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I feel the desire to reply to some things I have read on https://icum.to/ Unfortunately, I have a full-time job and adult responsibilities to attend to as well, but I’ll go ahead and get some of my thoughts out now.

On Meat;
Eating purely vegan is a luxury we are only afforded by virtue of living in modern times. Yes, you can supplement and be (mostly) healthy, but this is to match what eating a balanced meat and vegetable diet will already do without needing supplements that we have to produce with measured, modern science. Otherwise, you are missing key nutrients that are fairly difficult to source (again, without modern easily accessible supplements). Also, we absorb meat protein significantly more efficiently than we do any kind of plant protein. And don’t hit me with that “if you want to eat meat then raise the cattle yourself and kill it” bullshit, be fucking for real. This hasn’t been the case since our species switched to building agrarian societies. I do however think you should be *okay* doing this (killing the animal) if you are a meat eater, and that the processes therein should not be hidden from the layman. This should be entirely transparent, even to children. I think the fact we don’t operate this way as a society speaks volumes to how we want people to perceive things (i.e., behind a veil) but that’s another tangent. Carnivore diet “people” are retarded, we never were and never will be carnivores. We are omnivores and operate best in this state.
Personally, I shop from my local co-op that has a meat department which sources everything from local farms. I can track exactly where it came from, how it was treated and how it was slaughtered. It costs a decent bit more than something like Wal-Mart but I think that’s a worthwhile trade-off. Also, it tastes way, way better. I believe you can taste when something has had evil done unto it. That is my schizo-statement of the day.

On Technology;
Myself and one or two of my friends have tried the whole “Let’s switch to [insert FOSS alternative to popular chatting software] so our friends can chat securely!” thing. It doesn’t work. It never, ever works and it’s never going to work. The internet is no longer by and for people who may be so inclined to install or tinker or learn. People do not want to do these things. They want to talk to their friends, their family, etc. and they are going to use whatever those people use. Inevitably, that is going to be the most accessible, easy to use thing. What WILL change is these services eventually erode, they get more boisterous with advertisements, they slow down, and just generally become shit. These are things that 90% of people DO notice (the other 10% stay behind and populate the old platforms like a ghost town. “I’m used to it!” is something I often hear, specifically with Facebook). These are things that allow up-and-comers to take market share and become the new de-facto social hub. This is exactly what happened with Discord. Most people used Skype or splintered off into the “nerdier” camps of TeamSpeak and Mumble, etc. prior to this, but Discord was easy to use for normies and had the quality out of the box that would take maintenance time and effort for someone coming from TeamSpeak. I would also like to briefly cover some of the alternatives provided,
-	Mastodon: This is the only remotely successful alternative here, while most normies left to Threads (e.g., the exact opposite, but it’s new and easy to use) the more “technical” Twitter users came here. I think it’s fairly active but it’s only those kinds of people.
-	Friendica: Barren wasteland. Facebook users are all Boomers and retarded Gen-Xers anyway so those people are locked in for life.
-	Pixelfed: Not a single Instagram user I know is going to use this. Uber-normies, band accounts, local restaurants / businesses, etc. are literally never going to switch to this.
-	Element: I have an entire rant about Element but tl;dr it’s trying to copy the look of something like Discord but ends up being a buggy mess and you still need to be “tech brained” to resolve certain errors that it throws. Hell, I’ve heard the tech-brained argument about DISCORD too. The underlying tech is fine, but the UX still needs tons of work. And having two clients (Element and Element X) is exactly the kind of shit that confuses the hell out of normies. I’ve found the most success in getting *some* of my friends to use Signal (emphasis on the “some”).
-	PeerTube: This one is also moderately successful, but I would argue it serves a different purpose to YouTube (where YouTube really doesn’t encourage embedding to other sites or personal pages anymore, PeerTube suits this use-case very well).
-	Aether: Okay Reddit is so shit that I might be tempted to try this one. But again, look at all the shit I just wrote and the fact I’m on this website. There are several things being selected for already that do not encompass the average Reddit user.
“Is the extra 1-7 seconds of convenice is really worth the data collection to you?”
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RELEPHANTPARATIONS NOW
>>25875
>>25878
>>25879
I disagree, I think its interesting to hear peoples reactions to Ashley's articles from her website.
Replies: >>25895
>>25894
the last two replies are clearly in jest.
the joke is riffing on the guy who said "we should stop bumping!" and immediately people start replying with variations of "yes" "I concur" etc. therefore doing exactly the opposite of what the initial poster wanted and bumping the thread.
Replies: >>25897 >>25899
>>25895
First one was in jest too, wouldn't have bumped it and explicitly said that if I didn't want more people replying ;)

>>25882
I'm not too familiar with elephant sperm collection, is fisting the normal procedure? I know penile stimulation via artificial vaginas or horse dummies is typically used for horses.
Replies: >>25899
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>>25895
>>25897

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Forgive me tubbies, for I have sinned...

Well, what did you do? Confess.
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>>25653
this is good advice but despite my recent flatulence I don't have to poop yet. I suspect this will all spill out of me in 4-5 hours

I still haven't had a drink yet. There's one literally 4 feet away from me but I would have to stand up to get it. the ice is melting in it as we speak

>>25654
nice. what did you have for dinner?
Replies: >>25660
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As I'm currently immobile, I'm entertaining myself by shitposting and looking through some of my pictures. I saw this one. I want to curl up in ashley's armpits and sleep there so bad, I bet they smell so good and are probably soft and moist
oh god I might be sick

should I just purge, roman-style? does that make me an anorexic? or is it bulimic? the ones that puke themselves after gorging
>>25650
I only experience over-eating during the holidays when I have to visit friends and family and eat everything they offer. Last Christmas I ate like a fucking king, For brunch I ate eggs, bacon, ham, french toast with powdered sugar and maple syrup with orange juice mixed with vodka and freshly made coffee. For dinner, I had a full plate consisting of turkey and ham with gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, a variety of vegetables, salad and pies and ice cream, All this while drinking beer and this tasty red wine that I kept pouring myself throughout the night. I think I drove to my parents' place drunk that night but it was only a 5 minute drive so not a big deal. I didn't eat until 6pm the next day since I was still bloated and shitting everything out throughout the day,
>>25655
>what did you have for dinner?

I have not made any dinner yet as there is no food here. I hqve to leave now and go to the grocery store.

hopefully I wont suffer the same conundrum as >>25645 and be struck with an itchy crotch during this task

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Happy Juneteenth and Pride Month. Netflix hired me to write a pilot for a reboot of a beloved TV show from the 2000's.

https://videos.icum.to/w/qVnysbe1HihvnvUMuERZ3h
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>>25594
I thought the namefag poetry writer and the redditer with social media where 2 different anons?
Replies: >>25613
>>25597
What an asshole.
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>>25600
Don't worry anon, I gotchu.
Replies: >>25613
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>>25602
multiple people have done poetry so it might be a different person you're thinking of, no clue if the reddit gangbang guy ever did poetry, I just know he was extremely pissy about not being able to namefag and argued against anonymous posting lol

>>25611
>>25612
holy shit

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Post music. Bonus points for PMVs (ノ•‿•)ノ♬
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>>25500
Looks a lot like Stretch Armstrong
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>>25501
You may be part wolf but you're still just a cute cuddly little puppy.
>>25501
That explains why you're a bitch sometimes.
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>>25500
Why does anon always mistake me for you? The name of the guy from Fantastic Four is Mister Fantastic. I actually thought you used one of those little bedside pet stairs to get to get to things on the counter.

>>25501
On all levels except physical?
Replies: >>25508
>>25507
Who is "anon"? Is it an individual person?

Hey Ashley, what happened to your left eye?

I'm kind of a newb to image boards.
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>>25437
I think that cat was one of my boys.
Replies: >>25439 >>25440
>>25438
That pic gets funnier each time you post it, Seaman.
>>25438
*pussey
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>>25435
Ashley once she hits 30 and the mexican genes fully take over.
Replies: >>25442
>>25441
This guy is super ugly but I bet he gives a muy caliente blowjob

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image board autist dating app just droopped 
https://duolicious.app/
yall niggas need bitches go pull some
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>>24947
Your voice probably isn't that bad, but I agree with the other anon that it does sound a bit put on, like one of the girls on youtube that do the phony anime girl voices. Then again we only heard a few second of your voice so maybe we're all blowing this out of proportion.

I have a solution. Read the following aloud with your natural voice (no purposeful cutsey uwu stuff), which is taken from the Home Depot website on how to change a car battery:

`Follow these steps for jump starting a car battery: 

- Position the car with the good battery next to the car with the dead battery. They should be close enough for the jumper cables to reach, but the vehicles should not touch each other.
- Attach the clamp of one end of the positive cable – the red cable – to the positive terminal of the dead battery.
- Connect the clamp of the other end of the positive cable to the positive terminal of the good battery.
- Next, clamp one end of the negative cable – the black cable – to the negative terminal of the good battery. Attach the other end of the negative cable to the engine block of the car with the dead battery.
- Start the car with the good battery that provides the electricity.
- Turn the ignition key (or press the ignition button) of the car with the dead battery. If it starts, left the car run for about 20 minutes to allow for a recharge.
- Disconnect the jumper cables in reverse order.`
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Replies: >>24949 >>24950
>>24948
I meant charge a car battery, not change
>>24948
https://voca.ro/18v4tg9WKXyh
Replies: >>24952 >>24953
>>24950
Kek you're all right for a tub GURL. Your voice is fine, obviously you do sound young, but that wouldn't prevent a guy from liking you. The guy that stopped talking to you was probably afraid because you're 17 and/or just not that into you. If he "happens" to drop you a line after you turn 18, tell him to kick rocks because he wasn't man enough to violate social constructs and laws for 6 months to be with you.
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>>24950
>young
>cute
>adorable voice
>he's still not interested
What kind of crazy are you?

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Liking bare skinlet pussy is on the same tier as women who like men that are circumcised. If you like pussies without hair, you should kill yourself because you probably rape children.
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>>24816
not me, stolen valor
Replies: >>24844
Can you ban the samefag? >>24816
Replies: >>24844
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>>24816
>>24817
>>24819
imagine trying to steal Seabee's valor AND doing it during pride month! 
smh some people amirite...
TYFYS Seabee and happy pride month :)
Replies: >>24850
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>>24844

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ITT share cool wallpapers with your fellow ashlings.

I'll start the thread off with some really cool Ashley wallpapers that some anon made a while back.

Maybe Ashley will post some new wallpaper worthy PPs

You can attach up to 5 images to your post but one at a time is OK too, kinda looks cleaner that way imo
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Dumping some wallpapers
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>>18419
You dump the wallpapers, I'll dump the LOADS
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>>18419
Thad I thought you'd prefer this wallpaper
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>>18419
Nice.
>>16415 
It's awesome, I may use it when I get rid of this 1280 x 1024 monitor
>I love the monitor tho

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Post dreams of odd or unusual qualities - especially lewd ones.
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I had this dream where I walked into this girl's bedroom and she was holding a giant marshmallow. She dared me to eat the marshmallow and said that if I didn't eat the whole thing that I was a sissy. I ate the whole thing. When I woke up I couldn't find my pillow and I had this horrific stomach ache.
Replies: >>24723
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>>24719
I skimmed your post quickly without really reading it and only picked up
>I had this dream
>I was a sissy
>I ate the whole thing
Replies: >>24724
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>>24723
Be careful, my boys failed to see the humor in your post and you don't want to get on their bad side. Matter of fact, they don't have a good side..
>>24718
>I was awakened by a huge force and pressure on my body like if THOR himself put his balls on my body just to die
lol

>I don't know how to work with this board format thingy like even replying or so, but I try my best to share my point with you.
you did fine

as for your dream well Im retarded but my interpretation is that its something to do with you not being religious but the rest of your family is.
the pressure you felt on your chest was maybe about pressure into following your families religious values
but youre conflicted because you dont want to be a slave to it, hence the "16years of being a slave" but you also dont want to live a sinner (16 years of being a sinner) for not believing in your families religion.

anyways thats just my take on it

shalom! or whatever muslims say
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>>24773

Hey! 
Thank you so much for taking your time reading my bazinga
I really am amazed by your point of view, like how I didn't think of that
because now I'm really thinking of it and I haven't made my mind yet, so I'm still in between ... and maybe this is why I'm having troubles in the past 3 years ...

And now if you ask me, I would rather be a 
>sinner

Jewish people say Shalom! I think it's Hi but with a bit taste of money
Muslims say Salam, you see it's same 

I made this picture, it's my favorite Persian snack with another snack, and I'm going to use the picture for the rest of my life.

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