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Thread from /ashleyj/

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The cum tribby thread has CUM to a CLIMAX, CUMMING to its maximum LOAD of replies
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Why are you the way you are
Replies: >>15877 >>15882
It was
its like would u rather a nice pinky juicy steak or an overcooked dry steak
You're not a man if you don't find 15 year old women attractive.
Replies: >>15892
Then I'm very, VERY masculine because I find 5 year old women attractive

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Post your custom banners and I will upload them (if they are good enough) to this board. They must be this size: 466 width x 190 height
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You think I don’t know that retard? Can’t you tell I’m trying to ask Ashley a question? I don’t remember asking you a goddamn thing. Shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone post malone friend zone sylvester stallone hydrocortisone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone head ass tf up
Replies: >>15887
@retard calm down faggot #kys #newfag #simp
Read the OP.
Replies: >>15888
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I'm assuming he's asking whether or not the resolution "restrictions" still apply because some of the currently live banners don't conform to that standard. The poster doesn't have the mental capacity to infer that the resolution requirement isn't so much a rule as a strong preference; uniformity of size makes the board look nicer. However, Ashley not being a stickler for precision, has made a few exceptions for particularly funny or noteworthy banners (e.g., the Tosh advertisement). Therefore, the best way to proceed with any new banners would simply be to use the requested resolution. Personally, I think the poster just wanted to feel special by getting Ashley to respond to him directly on the board, thus inflating his personal sense of importance.

When called out on the method used to address the board owner (Ashley), which is a method used on Twitter, Discord, and other normie and zoomer-centric platforms, the poster became aggressive and angry, perhaps as the result of sexual frustration due to his attraction for Ashley (and the inevitability of other anons "getting in his way"). He then desperately attempted to be funny, knowing that the object of his unrequited affection enjoys comedy. Unfortunately, he just copy/pasted an overlong mishmash of words from RhymeZone.com, thus failing at being humorous whatsoever.

I hope this recap has helped. Let's see what happens next.
Replies: >>15889
I think it might be a zoomer copypasta
Replies: >>15891
Copypasta? I didn't recognize that one, probably because it wasn't really funny (no offence) so it hasn't been posted much like the famous copypastas we all know and love. Now if we were talking about girls or food, I would recognize those things a mile away. If I were to ask you what your favorite food is, I'm sure you could say and I would recognize the dish because it's notable due to its delicious taste. If you were to ask me about my favorite food, well, for me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

Thread from /ashleyj/

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This is somewhat like me and Ash.
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Burger King fast food deal
Baby this burger tastes like foot fungus hell
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this kind of like me and Ashley
Replies: >>15883
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>build girlfriend a dildo bike
>a few weeks go by
>in a rush to get to work
>forget to put pants on because in a rush
>grab what I think is my bike
>take pants off
>oh wait my pants were already off
>sit down
>really in a rush so I have to ride her dildo bike to work
>peddling faster and faster
>ass naturally moves up and down from fast peddling
>accidentally give self prostate milking
>get to work
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>think things have already gone great badly enough today
>run down the bike thief
>try to knock him off my girlfriend's dildo bike
>have some difficulty dislodging him from the dildo
>eventually succeed
>decide to teach him a lesson
>buttfuck him
>he likes it
>now he's my boyfriend
>dump girlfriend but keep her bike
>6 months later
>AIDs test results positive
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This is a lot lke me and Ashley.

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Post music. Bonus points for PMVs (ノ•‿•)ノ♬
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the guitar solo in this was so good, I pulled over onto the side of the road and grabbed my phone to record it so I could look it up later when I got home.
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sorry if link doesn't work
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Thread from /ashleyj/

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Replies: >>15879
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Ashley is:
The chief clerk of smirk
The pioneer of leer
The puppeteer of sneer

So delightfully smug

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as she does
Baby, you're the best
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>>15700 (OP) 
Replies: >>15880
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Master Ruh Rohl guide us. Master Ruh Rohl teach us. Master Ruh Rohl protect us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve pussy. Our lives are yours.

Thread from /ashleyj/

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An entire year's worth of curating weird submissions in forms of videos, news stories, and generally strange and bizarre people, will all compete for an award, hosted by yours truly, Ashley Jones. Join Ashley on her first Tosh.Hoe Awards Show, which is pre-recorded but aired LIVE on https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones

8pm PST | 9pm MST | 10pm CST | 11pm EST

Invite anyone who may be interested.
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The board's Christmas theme looks absolutely FABULOUS, Ashley.
agree this is mad comfy
Yes, I also loved Tosh.0 when it was on the air. I guess it couldn't survive today's social climate, it was one of the shows that really poked fun at everyone and everything, never taking anything too seriously. Fun fact, I found Popstar Nima (cleaning out my asshole guy) through Tosh.0. I always liked the style of Tosh and the Ashley "Tosh.Hoe" Awards Show is an homage to it. I needed an excuse to write jokes away from my characters, and this style of show was a good way to get away from the usual "character skit" which I don't want to be type-cast as. What's ironic is Tosh is a copy of The Soup. It's like a human centipede of comedy shows. The Soup -> Tosh - > Me.

Pretty much, and I actually ended up using almost nothing from the Cuckies thread. Even though I gave it a fair shot, I couldn't work in news stories into an entertaining video format. It would rely on too much context/explanation, which could get boring when I prefer writing jokes in rapid succession rather than drawn out. Since the news stories relied too much on explanation/context, I found bizarre videos to nominate for awards instead. The viewer would be more entertained seeing a funny or strange video rather than hear a tired re-telling of a story. Though it's possible I could still work in some news stories, as a few recent submissions are really fu
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agreed, this is her best seasoned theme yet, especially the postform box

>I'm very excited about the upcoming Ashley Awards. I've been writing it and I think it's pretty good.
I personally will be attending the awards dressed up in my best attire.............. ok fine its just pajama pants that need washing and a tshirt with holes and tin spaghetti stains fml

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Spill the beans. Again.
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I failed No Nut November yesterday, darn!
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I only did 1/4 of my resolutions this year.
Replies: >>15872
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at least you're using linux though (full time I hope?).

Honestly even being able to make a statement like that is a testament to just how far gnu/linux has come. there was a time in the not so distant past where you probably couldn't have used linux without at least a little terminal use. I'm all for making things easier and getting people away from microsoft and apple.

that being said the terminal really isn't that scary or difficult. if you ever do get into it, you'll realize all the cool hackermans pictures you've seen of people's linux desktops with 4 shells open all running crazy looking shit is all actually pretty mundane/not difficult stuff. Take picrel for example. This dumb whore is doing the equivalent of opening a folder (incorrectly a few times) over and over and checking what directory she's in. Normies think it looks amazing and advanced but in reality it's nothing.

cool thing about the terminal is that once you get comfortable in it, you can actually do many tasks much much faster. also, the majority of people don't actually memorize the crazy long commands. You can write simple scripts or use aliases (like shortcuts) to do things for you. I have shit in my .bash_aliases file that I wrote years ago that if you asked me to write out I couldn't remember how to do it. like alias yta='yt-dlp -x --audio-format mp3' to use youtube-dl (
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I still shower alone and change in the bathroom stalls at the gym because being around naked men is gay.
That is prolly better than 99% of ppl who make new years resolutions. So good for you anon! 

>at least you're using linux though (full time I hope?).
No not yet, I bought a laptop a lil while back and have it on that.
Im saving money to build/upgrade a new PC and for that I will swap to Linux as my main, I assume there will be some issues with some of my older software that I regularly use, so I will still probably need to use windows of some sort.
I have to figure out what I can keep from my existing hardware but also what to get for new hardware, which is tbh really overwhelming as Im completely hardware illiterate.
I know /g/ has a pc building thread so I will probably go there for any questions.

>You can write simple scripts or use aliases (like shortcuts) to do things for you.
I had no idea about that. That sounds really cool and encourages me to learn about using the terminal more. Especially since I use yt-dlp quite a lot

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Thread from /ashleyj/

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Post one of your favorite Christmas songs that put you in the seasonal mood.
Here's mine  https://youtu.be/vP46Hgy7H7A
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Nice job making the board look Christmasy, Ash. Your image on the lower right on the board needs a Santa hat.
Replies: >>15866
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Thanks Seabee, your wreath goes really well with the Christmeese theme going on. Also, I saved the best for last. Taz put on his Santa hat and is hoping he'll get a negative HIV test for Christmas. Yaaaaaaaaay!!!~~~~

This Christmas song gets me in the mood. For Christmas. Not for anything else.
Replies: >>15868
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I'll keep my digits crossed for Taz but I have a feeling he'll get a clean bill of health, he always manages to pull through.

Funny takeoff on Wham's "Last Christmas" a now classic.

Funny You spelled it:"Christmeese". You once asked what my favorite  Ashley video is. In retrospect it has become a Christmas tradition for me  to play every year around this time your 2014 Google+ vid, "Christmeese", now that's a Christmas  classic that really sets the mood.
Lots of different songs put me in the Christmas spirit, I'm sure I'll be posting a number of songs throughout the season, but here's the first one.


Thread from /horselovers/

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THis iS thE oFFICIAL!!!! META for ASHLEY JONES> . Board.?! question mark ??

I could upload all these images directly onto my server, but I'm very lazy and this is just easier at my current mental state. I can SSH into my server in the terminal, I don't have to prove ANYTHING TO YOU!!111!!!!!111122133WCEWVDFVFDVFDBVB so dont YOU come for ME calling ME STUPID. I'm sorry baby... I wuv you ^_^' I get cranky since I'm malnourished since I'm vegan <3 EEEEEEEDVGAERBVREBE cum  yum yum

That being SAID... I will do as I PLEASE and UPLOAD IMAGES HERE SINCE IT'S TEEEECHNICALLLLALY MYYYY SERVER. Btw I only eat ethical protein sources like ethically sourced cum. In case you're curious, unethical sourced cum is cum from rape. Rape cum.
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Thread from /ashleyj/

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An amalgamation of my boredom spent messing with my webcam. Enjoy.

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Fun Movie Detail: For this shot, the tears coming out of Bandits eyes, are in fact, real tears and not GIMPED in.
Replies: >>11200
I would buy a t-shirt of this. It reminds me of Brodie's t-shirt from Mallrats. When is the merch dropping? I still need my signed TikTok Tranny movie poster.
dicks smell like fish too
also fish smells good
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why does ashley look so SCRUMPTIOUS in this video??

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Hey guys, let's have a Cytube get together this Tuesday night. I have a new video I put a lot of effort into, it's pretty funny (to me at least), so I think it'd be fun to watch it all together before I put it on my site. Before my new video we'll watch some random Youtube videos together for about 2 hours.

Post links to videos you'd like to watch together. Try to keep them shorter-ish (roughly 15 minutes and under if possible), just so we have a nice variety. I'll pick which ones are of interest.

TIME MY NEW VIDEO WILL SHOW ON CYTUBE: 6pm Pacific | 7pm Mountain | 8pm Central | 9pm Eastern | I'm not a clock so if you're from some third world country like Britain or Hogwarts, figure it out :3

The above time is when my new video will play. Arrive 2 hours early if you want to watch the Youtube videos and chat with me and other anons. Cytube link: https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones
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Ashley has a thing for koalas. She used to get wet for Lyman in Animal Crossing. I have an idea for a movie, An Australien Werekoala in Denver. It can star Zach, but all Ashley rape scenes will be played by me, the stunt man, since Zach is gay and I actually look the part.
in about 4 hrs from now Im going to watch the Boogie2298 documentary on Cytube if others want to come and watch it
Replies: >>14860 >>14861
Just spotted a typo at 17:30. Authentic jewtube feeling.
I'll pop in
we doign anything for xmas?

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Why are her eyes so huge? Is her peni- I mean heart as big as her eyes? uwu
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Such a shame that prime 15 year old Ashley didn't have kids... now she's doomed to die alone with only her dogs and horse dildos

CAPTCHA: djcare
The lead singer from Korn is BLACK btw
Replies: >>15855
Replies: >>15856
No I'm not

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Thread from /ashleyj/

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Paste the contents of your clipboard right now without looking. GO!
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Replies: >>15840 + 2 earlier
>>10158 (OP) 

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No thanks
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Just gave myself an orgasm to this vid. Thanks bro.

Thread from /ashleyj/

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>sorry I'm a normie
So am I
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Nice Droste effect. Two thumbs up Two thumbs up Two thumbs up

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Post funny pictures, webms, stories, or anything funny
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I hate when this happens
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That's why it's imperative for all you "he men" out there to purchase a low flow toilet. Either that or wear protection.
Replies: >>15831
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>Either that or wear protection.

>gotta take a shit
>put on a condom

Thread from /ashleyj/

no ashley zone.jpg
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We mean it Ash, STAY OUT.
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I didn't know Figment existed until today. I don't think they are the same dragon. Figment clearly has jaundice. Spyro is just another forgotten child actor who is still coming to terms with the fact that they aren't cute anymore and are in the closet like Macaulay Culkin. The same fate that Ashley chose.
I think its time to present the card in a brand new thread yeah? OP wanna do the honours?
Replies: >>4247
on it
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It's that time of year again guys. Let's take advantage of this thread which is magically invisible to Ashley and make her something nice.

We did a nice card last year, but maybe we could do something else this year? Or another card?

Ideas anyone?
Replies: >>15824
Yes, Im up for it, she would love that.
A group card like last year is probably the simplest idea.

Thread from /ashleyj/

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I taped me showing my room in great detail. I also taped my day and something actually interesting happened somehow. I'm very easily amused, though.

Camcorder video: https://videos.icum.to/w/k6sA9Z4ChCZohcw1uUcDpo

Also I finished the lyrics to Turkey Song. The turkey is a Swiss army knife because I thought they looked like turkiez.
Turkey song: https://videos.icum.to/w/87BzLiNGN2p8uHsj1WjHn4
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>I think Ashley has a good idea
Ashley who? I think u mean the Hobbit
Replies: >>15816
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I like this bit where she discretely rubs her itchy bum on the carpet because she didnt wipe properly after taking a massive shit right before filming this section of the video
That's one qt burglar. I hope she takes my ring.
Replies: >>15819
Your O-ring?
Replies: >>15821
DILDO FAGGINS! Do not take me for some purveyor of cheap thrills! I am not trying to gape you. I'm trying to rape her.

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Post newspaper funnies, or comics in general. Garfield is a must, but I also like Peanuts.
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wow what an amazing piece of fan art!
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Todays Garfield + Peanuts and a bonus
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C&H for seabees
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I gotta get a drawing pad so I can make these.
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Looks like someone is really into Calvin and Hobbes.

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Discussions of movies and TV shows shall be posted here. Anyone hosting streams can share their link here also.
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It's the mark of Cain
Remember, always pirate or buy physical stand alone/offline media 

PlayStation is erasing 1,318 seasons of Discovery shows from customer libraries
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>removing this shit show
I don't get it. This seems like good news to me.
Replies: >>15784
its not about that particular show, its about digital content being simply removed from consumers that paid money for it, even if its a shitty tv show or a video game etc
Harry Potter actors being gay

Thread from /ashleyj/

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Racism is bad. Sexism is bad. Homophobia is bad. I detest all forms of bigotry. I read Karl Popper and John Rawls, and I agree with them.

In all earnestness, if it's over then politeness becomes the only proper modus vivendi,
and the is manifested as the liberal values documented above. There is nothing left apart from stoic, cultured self-aufhebung. Life is a mistake and, as Schopenhauer said, a prison; to properly adjust one's expectations, one must treat it as such.
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Populism isn't a ideology, its a strategy. I've seen some articles describe him as a libertarian though.
Replies: >>15269
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This is a character raised by the media. The Argentine zelenski.
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He will bring America together
Replies: >>15756
wtf i love niggers now
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Aylo Porn Writer on Hidden Cam: 12-Year-Olds Watching TransAngels “Probably Helps a Lot”


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