/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.

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This whole website is my childhood, i pls dont delete this b4 next tuesday, my 18gig harddrrive arrive s then
pretty pls? with sugar on top?
Clean the fukin car
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>>9537 (OP) 
Good morning sirs thank you for contacting Ashley Jones technical support. I will need you to enter in your credit card informations below in order for website to remain open.
why is it your childhood?
>>9537 (OP) 
Dont worry, we shall archive it and it can live on forever on the Internet Archive, because that too is never going away either!
>>9537 (OP) 
Care to discumbobulate?

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Hahaha cuck.
Replies: >>9460 >>9465
p sure it was a joke anon
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Happy Fathers day!
Replies: >>9531
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An erotic short story of epic proportion with world renowned comedienne Ashley Jones as the sultry and seductive protagonist.

                       ---  AFTERNOON DELIGHT ---

I left the job early to come home to do the dreaded paper work, sending out e mail estimates, ordering material etc. I left my partner on the job. We flipped a coin to see who would do the paper work and I lost.

I heard a car pull into my driveway and a few seconds later I heard a light half hearted knock on the door.I suspected the Jehovah's Witnesses again so I ignored it. A second light knock could be heard and curiosity got the best of me as to whom was on the other side of the door. I got up and opened the door. There she stood. I recognized her immediately. I stood there like a retard unable to speak and at the same time trying to comprehend my good fortune. She seemed a bit shy and a little hesitant as she introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Ashley". I know, I know I said to myself. She didn't know me from Adam and I preferred to keep it that way and not tell her how familiar that I was with her. 

She told me that she was in the process of purchasing the house next to mine and that she was wondering if I knew of any problems with the house. I finally snapped out of my stupor and invited her in.I told her to have a seat on the couch. I asked her if I could offer her something to drink. She asked if I had seltzer and an orange and I told her I did. It's a mystery to me why I bought a bottle of seltzer the last time I went shopping since I don't drink seltzer. Chalk it up to unconscious synchronicity I guess. I squeezed the juice of the orange into the seltzer as she directed and gave it to her while I enjoyed a cup of coffee. I told her that I knew of no problems with the house next door. I had renovated the kitchen for the owners and did some minor work in the basement during a very heavy rain and the basement remained dry as the provebial bone. I told her that the roof was replaced about three years ago so she won't have any problems. She complemented me on the kitchen renovation and she seemed to relax a bit upon hearing that the house was in good shape.

As we sat talking, small talk mostly, I started to become slightly aroused. She was wearing a white cotton tank top and her arms were exposed all the way and I noticed a small patch of  axillary hair in her arm pit. It was obvious that she wasn't wearing a bra, I could see her little nipples pushing against the soft cotton of her tank top. I tried to be discrete but she caught me peeking. She smiled as only she can and asked if I liked what I saw. Sheepishly I replied in the affirmative. She asked where the bedroom was. I thought she misspoke and meant the bathroom. She reiterated, no the bedroom. She placed her empty drink on the coffee table, stood up and grabbed my hand and said, "Let's go". I got up grateful that I had made the bed, a rare occurrence on my part, before leaving for work. Didn't want her to think I was a poor housekeeper.

Once in the bedroom she placed her slender arms around my neck pulling me slightly downward due to our height difference. She pressed her warm moist tender lips against mine. She began slightly biting my lower lip and eventually her warm moist tongue found its way into my mouth and the battle of the tongues began, something like Battle Bots. Only difference was that I couldn't care less who won. I became more aroused. She removed her tongue from my mouth to my chagrin and sat on the edge of the bed. She removed her ankle length boots revealing a pair of orange Garfield socks. I thought, how cute. She removed those socks revealing her delicate feet with blue painted toenails. She stood up and removed her tank top revealing the most perfect and pert little breasts and and pink little nipples I had ever seen. Michelangelo would have been proud to sculpt those pert little breasts and Rembrandt would have been over joyed to put paint to canvas in painting those breasts. She walked towards me and removed my tee shirt. She placed her hands on my now bare chest and began massaging my nipples with her thumbs, my Achilies heel. I felt as if I was ready to cum so I started thinking about football, Buffalo Bills, my last quarter mile drag race which I lost to of all cars a Chevy Camaro due to a missed shift  from second to third to assuage my desire to cum.

Ashley bent down and undid my jean's button and zipper and slid them down my legs which were now starting to feel like they were made of rubber. I stepped out of them and she began to caress my stiff member through my boxer briefs and then she slid them off. My erect member bounded out like a horse coming out of the gate at the Kentucky Derby. She placed her long slender fingers on my member slightly stroking it and sending a shiver up my spine.
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x sign name

but, only in the dark wit the lights off and in complete silence, so I can really focus in on my nipple rubbing and heighten the feeling
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Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Tahiti? He's a treasure and I hope his next flight is relaxing and has complimentary loli blow jobs. Oh god wait... Tahiti, i-is that Tahiti's plane? TAHITI NOOOOOOOOO
Replies: >>9273 >>9294 >>9442
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Replies: >>9294
Lest In Peacu desu

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this was Tahiti-chan's final face when he reached nirvana from the complimentary loli blow job as his plane hit the building.
What a way to go out...

i am very big fan fo very much good videos hehe

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Goodnight, sweet prince.
Press F to pay respects.

>Kaczynski died in prison of a reported suicide on June 10, 2023.

>Psychological study

>In his second year at Harvard, Kaczynski participated in a study described by author Alston Chase as a "purposely brutalizing psychological experiment" led by Harvard psychologist Henry Murray. Subjects were told they would debate personal philosophy with a fellow student and were asked to write essays detailing their personal beliefs and aspirations. The essays were given to an anonymous individual who would confront and belittle the subject in what Murray himself called "vehement, sweeping, and personally abusive" attacks, using the content of the essays as ammunition. Electrodes monitored the subject's physiological reactions. These encounters were filmed, and subjects' expressions of anger and rage were later played back to them repeatedly. The experiment lasted three years, with someone verbally abusing and humiliating Kaczynski each week. Kaczynski spent 200 hours as part of the study.

>Kaczynski's lawyers later attributed his hostility towards mind control techniques to his participation in Murray's study. During the Second World War, Murray worked with the Office of Strategic Serv
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>I asked if he was afraid of losing his mind, if the circumstances he found himself in now would break his spirit? He answered, 

>No, what worries me is that I might in a sense adapt to this environment and come to be comfortable here and not resent it anymore. And I am afraid that as the years go by that I may forget, I may begin to lose my memories of the mountains and the woods and that's what really worries me, that I might lose those memories, and lose that sense of contact with wild nature in general. But I am not afraid they are going to break my spirit.
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Hey guys, can you please help me expand my word filter? I'm going to need a LOT of suggestions to do this right and I can't do it on my own.


See pic for what I have so far and here's the json if you want to import the current list for yourself:

  "version": "2.1",
  "groups": [
      "name": "Truth filter",
      "urls": [],
      "substitutions": [
          "input": "jews",
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Actually I prefer the moniker "Dog Robber"

No need for thanks but appreciated.
I had someone at Wal-Mart the other day thank me for my service because I wore camouflaged cargo pants.
Replies: >>9178 >>9191
wtf Seabee is based

but how did they see your legs?

get it it?!?! ...camouflaged cargo pants.... LOLMAYO
Replies: >>9192
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I was in a store once wearing my military issue lightweight Seabee jacket and a guy asked if I was in the military and I told him I was but I'm a civilian now. He literally put his arms around me and said thanks for your service. Be careful no one accuses you of stolen valor, LOL
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I get it, heh,heh

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Not enough fuel. They faked it to make the government popular with the citizens again, and the CIA murdered a bunch of people to keep it hushed up.
*Undeniable* proof in here, not debatable or a theory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEm4oKdd4gs
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>everything I see on TV is real
>it's EXTRA real if the government says it's real
The whole world literally watched Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer in the 60's as well. Doesn't mean it's real. And if you made literally the biggest achievement in HUMAN HISTORY, why are all of them acting depressed? They look miserable and all act confrontational and angry anytime someone questions the official narrative.
anyone following this new UFO stuff?
The US has apparently retrieved some non-human made craft


Replies: >>9186
The powers that be are releasing this for some kind of profit. They are in full control of this narrative, probably has something to do with project blue beam

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Ash, here's a pic and info of the Mons Veneris that you asked me about.

  And again, thanks for your cool vid and a fun night.
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The mons veneris (the mountain of venus) refers to the Roman Goddess of love, also known as  Aphrodite in Greek mythology. I will make mention of it in the erotic short story of the Ash that I'm working on.

I agree with you that scallops taste better than sex, especially with a little tartar sauce or vaginal secretions brought about by hot sex.

Yeah, when she does that dance it sends me into catatonic ecstasy or something like that.
post more pussy
Replies: >>9136 >>9176
post more, pussy
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This is one of my favorite pictures ever, if there is a reason to post it, then I take this opportunity.
Replies: >>9177
Its a nice looking pussy but all that overgrowth around it is kind of a turn off

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I updated my video website's look to have some soul. You will probably have to hard refresh to see the changes. Doing a hard refresh is different depending on the browser you're using.

Firefox: Ctrl shift and r
Chromium based browsers: Ctrl shift and r
Microsoft Edge: Hold ctrl shift and kill yourself this will hard reset your life. for legal purposes this is just a joke.

What do you think of the changes? There's still a few things I need to fix, but I want to spend my time filming a new video :3
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Yes, its pride month afterall.
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ashley when her dogs are at the vet
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That's what she does while we're gone?
girls scare me tbh
Replies: >>9095
Which is why I chose to become a horse lover since they're not degenerate like women are.

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>>9000 GET
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Im just letting Derrick get all thees gets so he builds up confidence thinking he will get the prized 1k get, but I will crush his spirit when I get the 1k get
you'll see derrick, you'll all see
Replies: >>9015
>>9000 (OP) 
Thank you for revealing your current location Derrick. I will come for you, and no one will stop me when I kidnap you, because child molestation is encouraged and approved by society in june. Get ready to go with me to the pride parade.
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it all makes sense now
Replies: >>9029
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Nobody can stop Derrick Da Beast!!
Replies: >>9029
holy shit, the lore deepens

except for Derricks mum, where is she in all these gets??? is derrick allowed to just browse the internet uncircumcised- I mean unsupervised? 
Ashley was, and look how she turned out... shaking my head smh smh

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