/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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Let's play some tunes.
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https://youtu.be/b0EFz3Yk7Ag?si=U5zDnc4rZLTCca2i
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https://youtu.be/zT1sFXDmT8o
track_sample.mp3
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>>25511 (OP) 
>buy Ashley's album
>its 47 minutes of her brapping and queefing
Replies: >>25518 >>25528
>>25516
>Ashley makes a debut album on JewTube & Bandcamp
>Ka-Ching!
>>25516
I sometimes wonder what Ashley's farts smell like and how long they linger for since she's a vegetarian. Do they have a damp grassy smell to them or is it raunchy from the dollar store junkfood she likes to eat. Speaking of farts, I was at the gym doing crunches and this hot chick came over and was lying on the mat next to me. Shortly after she came over, I smelt one of the most vile farts ever that cut my workout short by 5 minutes which annoyed me to the point where I wanted to drop a 40lbs medicine ball directly on to her face since I was pretty amped up from a pre-workout supplement I was taking, but I kept my cool and went to another area to finish my core exercises.
>>25528
I find that foods that are processed (chips/bread), dairy products and especially meats make your farts smell a lot more. Most days I eat pretty clean and so I'm not giving my body the right fuel to make it have the perfect tangy fart smell. I do OMAD or fasting if my body feels like it, and that really cuts down on braps produced per day (BP/day). They either don't have any scent (sadly) or are faint.

Even staple "fart foods" like lentils or cabbage don't give me that airy delight like people brag about. The only thing that can sometimes give me the power to the punch I'm looking for is a blooming onion - no joke.
Last edited by admin
Replies: >>25553 >>25555
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Beautiful day out here just won $20 on a scratchoff bout to take ol lady to go fish hell yeah brother! Yall pray for me 🤘🏼 luv u Ashley 😘🌹
Replies: >>25533
>>25511 (OP) 
https://youtu.be/4pxsxGhQNjw

Ashley is just a small town boy
>>25531
hell yeah brother!
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>>25528
You're not a fart smeller, you're a smart fella.
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>>25511 (OP) 
I remember accidentally stumbling upon pic related a few years and thought it was our Ash then realized this one seemed like she had actual musical talent so I knew it wasn't. Too bad because this one seems alot cooler. She  has a Reverb Nation page as well as a Spotify page of interested.
Replies: >>25545
>>25544
Tell that dyke to get back to serving me coffees at s t a r c u c k s right fucking NOW NO:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW
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>>25528
>a pre-workout supplement I was taking
Was it this one?
Replies: >>25549 >>25561
>>25548
Precum is the only pre anon takes. This looks delicious though, I'll take 10
>>25528
>>25530
>vegetarian/vegan diets are so devoid of flavour even their farts lack flavour

oh well, atleast there still is the pumpkin seeds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17toLteDPNk
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>>25530
https://icum.to/ashleyjones/
Are you an aspiring colorectal surgeon?
Replies: >>25567
>>25548
I use my natural sexual frustration as a pre-workout.
Replies: >>25565 >>25569
>>25561
based
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https://youtu.be/acuu6f7cm_s
Replies: >>25576
>>25555
>ctrl+F
>search for "anus"
>143 results
Replies: >>25577
>>25561
Have you heard of the forbidden pre? Aka texts with yo ex
>>25566
You have to wonder why she is not giving us a 4K UHD video.
Replies: >>25585 >>25627
>>25567
She's an anal queen.
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I like to watch this but I imagine in my mind that Spongebob is Linda and Garry is Barry who has left Linda after years of her psychological abuse and now Linda misses Barry and wants him to come back and that makes her really sad which then makes me hard and i go beat off and then have a great night sleep
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>>25576
She's not videotaping in 4K UHD because her extreme cuteness would be too overwhelming for us.
Replies: >>25586
>>25585
You can handle dishonorable discharge, but not Ash's
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>>25576
probably because it would pickup her upper lip hair
Replies: >>25630
>>25627
Isn't that Rose??
Replies: >>25637 >>25640
>>25630
No that's Ashley
>>25630
it's Freddie Mercury
https://youtu.be/IH5L4qTVsTk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPT8GBdRCWE
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https://youtu.be/-XEavwcHU78?feature=shared
https://youtu.be/HmQGXvwiNjA
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lkg5nLOgxII
Replies: >>26352 >>26355
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>>26349
Reminder that Suge Knight injected him with AIDS. Likely using his his penis.
Replies: >>26354
>>26352
No doubt he killed Eazy by hiring a hitman to inject him with AIDS. Suge lost his freedom and is rotting in prison so fuck him.
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>>26349
nogs gonna nog

https://inv.us.projectsegfau.lt/embed/S65SCsE0CNI?t=66
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In_These_Four_Walls.mp3
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Bored Owner, I made an emo song for you.

[Verse]
Dreams silent as a locked diary, penned in unseen ink,
Heartbeat echoes in this chamber, walls too close to think,
With ghostly whispers of "wish you were here",
Trapped in solitude, 'neath the fallen tear.

[Verse 2]
Empty bed, a void like memories gone astray,
Frame soaked in moonlight but it’s the light of day,
Wishing on cobweb stars, locked windowpane,
Heart a prisoner, desire like a chain.

[Chorus]
Imprisoned in my room, love’s in the air,
Longing fills the void you’re supposed to wear,
Your touch, hallucination in the night,
A love confined, but oh, still burns so bright.

[Verse 3]
Daydreams paint the walls with scenes of might-be,
Heart’s alarm soundin’, longing for the key,
Lonely lullabies dance with shadows fleet,
Bed feels colder where our dreams should meet.

[Bridge]
Imaginary embraces stir the dust,
Walls closin' in, love's a sole trust,
Locked away from touch, but feeling each part,
Rooms can hold bodies but not a heart.

[Chorus]
Imprisoned in my room, love’s in the air,
Longing fills the void you’re supposed to wear,
Your touch, hallucination in the night,
A love confined, but oh, still burns so bright.
>>26471
nice... what is Ash's personal vibrator doing in the picrel?
Replies: >>26473
>>26472
I remembered this scene from her video and I took a screenshot of it and edited it. I wanted Ashley to look emo and her bedroom to look like a room from Silent Hill . I chose this scene because she looks discontented and the vibrator and laundry basket tell a story about a girl stuck at home who spends all her time masturbating and doing laundry.
Kayleigh's_Secret.mp3
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[Verse]
Kayleigh's trapped in her room, heart in a cage,
While outside the window, sees the man of the age,
Not a prince, not a knight, rough round the edges,
Fat homeless guy, her crush pushes the hedges.

[Verse 2]
She dreams every night, makes space on her bed,
But all she gets is empty echoes in her head,
Wishing for the warmth, dirty clothes in the sheets,
Pillow talk fantasies, heart skips, then it beats.

[Chorus]
Secret love confessions in the dead of the night,
Kayleigh's got a soft spot, hidden from sight,
Wants to be romantic, but her mind's a wreck,
A stolen glance, a hidden beat, hoping it's checked.

[Bridge]
Guilty heart trembles, shame's a heavy load,
Her eyes trace the sidewalks, spots a worn coat,
Daydreams past curfew, candle burning slow,
Wishing her wanderer's heart had a place to go.

[Verse 3]
Kayleigh's friends wouldn't get it, think she's mad,
They see a vagabond, but she sees rad,
He’s not polished, no money, doesn’t fit in,
But her heart's drawn closer, weary soul's twin.

[Chorus]
Secret love confessions in the dead of the night,
Kayleigh's got a soft spot, hidden from sight,
Wants to be romantic, but her mind's a wreck,
A stolen glance, a hidden beat, hoping it's checked.
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>>26471
>>26475
Absolutely no sovl whatsoever. An abomination. And not even emo. What is that? Radio-friendly "alt pop" for moms?

Real emo was all about screaming incomprehensibly and dressing and acting like a faggot so that you could more easily lure prime 14 year old pieces of jailbait cunny back to your apartment and deflower them on the couch before your normalfag roommates got home from their night shift at the supermarket. Shit was incredibly cash but you wouldn't know shit about that with your AI slop.
Replies: >>26477 >>26479
emo_kid.mp4
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>>26476
kek. A band isn't truly emo unless you're convinced one of the band members was sucking cock in between recording verses.
>>26475
Real music comes from the heart. Your music comes from the fart.
Replies: >>26482
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Kayleigh_in_Colorado.mp3
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>>26476
Son, I order steak at Appelbee's and listen to 90s country music in a 2024 Chevrolet Colorado. Do you think I really give a damn anymore?

[Verse]
Underneath the Rocky Mountain sky so blue,
Lived a girl named Kayleigh, and Lord, she’s my muse.
She’s got a smile like sunshine, warms the coldest nights,
In a little cabin glowin’ by the firelight.

[Verse 2]
Met her at a roadhouse off a dusty lane,
She was sippin' sweet tea, standin' in the rain.
Her laugh was like a river, runnin’ wild and free,
And from that moment, I knew she was meant for me.

[Chorus]
Kayleigh in Colorado, where the wild winds blow,
With every sunrise, our love continues to grow.
From the peaks of the Rockies to the valley below,
Kayleigh in Colorado, she’s the heart that I know.

[Verse 3]
We’d drive through the aspen, golden leaves would fall,
Countin' every star ‘neath the night’s velvet shawl.
She’d sing a tune so sweet, it’d make the pine trees sway,
Livin' in her love was an endless summer day.

[Verse 4]
There’s a trail we wander up by Crystal Lake,
Hand in hand together, only love we take.
With her I feel like a cowboy, proud and true,
Ridin’ high on romance, in those hills we flew.

[Chorus]
Kayleigh in Colorado, where the wild winds blow,
With every sunrise, our love continues to grow.
From the peaks of the Rockies to the valley below,
Kayleigh in Colorado, she’s the heart that I know.
Replies: >>26481 >>26510
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https://youtu.be/L8YP7Tda4Y8?si=E1rx3u1YJI2LIwyM

I wish I had a turntable. A good one is so expensive where I live, also I would have to buy it an equalizer (I got used to equalizing the music to my liking, once you learn to equalize you can't go back), preamp, amplifier and some decent speakers (made by me of course). On top of that, you have to buy the vinyls. Shit, things are expensive nowadays.
>>26479
High-tier cringe. If that's what you were going for, well done
Replies: >>26482
>>26478
>Real music comes from the heart. Your music comes from the fart.
And I don't concern myself with the opinion of someone who cums when they fart.

>>26481
I think you mean high plains cringe.
Seabee, go to this website and make us a song. https://suno.com/
>>26471
>>26475
>>26479
lmao the soundwave plots look like ashley's vibrator
https://youtu.be/CuCUdQ3xrEk
9b4f5da348eb0ec33c878b463a872e43548eb6584877cd5dbc6c667450d3a5fd.wav
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feedback?
>>26530
Nice jam, brah
Replies: >>26570
>>26530
Sounds objectively good. Not amateur, tacky, or overdone like many people who create this type of music.
Replies: >>26570
https://youtu.be/-WcHPFUwd6U
>>26530
Sounds subjectively kpop fan noise
Replies: >>26570
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Big_Mac_Blues.mp3
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I just want to dip my nugget in your sweet 'n sour sauce.

[Verse]
She used to order me fresh fries
When they were almost closed under a midnight sky
Golden arches in our eyes
Now I'm looking at receipts of her past buys

[Verse 2]
She had a smile for my two-for-one
Big Mac in the setting sun
Now I'm here and she is gone
Heart aching for her drive-thru run

[Chorus]
I'm missing your McDonald's babe
And those late-night meals
Our love like McDonald's beef is real
Bring back your happy deals
Come back my happy meal

[Verse]
Love was warm like an apple pie
Now my sweet tea is dry
And the ice cream machine is down
Someone tell me why why why

[Bridge]
Moon man in the air tonight
Let's make it a Mac Tonight
Bring back breakfast all-day
Want a breakfast burrito babe

[Chorus]
I'm missing your McDonald's babe
And those late-night meals
Our love like McDonald's beef is real
Bring back your happy deals
Come back my happy meal
Replies: >>26572
>>26532
>>26533
>>26539
Does it sound finished?
Replies: >>26571
>>26570
Yeah but it could probably be a little longer unless you're making stock music
Replies: >>26572 >>26621
>>26530
Sounds great. Very professional and clean mixing. As >>26571 said it's a little short of song-length. Personally I'm not a fan of the vocals in the second half but that's a matter of preference.

>>26541
You and Ashley dating yet?
Replies: >>26578 >>26621
>>26530
Amazing, you're going to be the next Skrillex!
Replies: >>26575
>>26574
Let's hear some of your music next. No AI slop.
Replies: >>26578 >>26579
>>26572
Why would I want to date Ashley?

>>26575
Pretentious faggot, no one cares about your dial-up tunes
Replies: >>26580
Taco_Belle.mp3
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>>26575
Here's a sample of my next song, faggot. Far superior to anything you can make.
Replies: >>26580
>>26578
>>26579
lmaoooooo cry more impotent fatass, you mad other people have talent? is the baby twiggered because nobody liked your AI song about the time Ashley got you mcdonalds to make fun of you?
Replies: >>26581
>>26580
You care more than anyone else does.
Replies: >>26582
>>26581
>say something retarded
>someone calls you out for being a little bitch
>buh-uh y-you shouldn't c-care this much!!!
I'm not the one posting corpo AI garbage and shitting on the people actually making music. No new songs from your "app" today? Did your free trial run out?
Replies: >>26583
>>26582
Ain't nobody here making music, mate, lol.

USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST Culturally appropriating the word "mate"

>>26583
>mate
I have no dog in this fight but Augusta isn't Australia. For such an offense, I will ban you.
Replies: >>26588 >>26589
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>>26585
>>26583
wtf ash
Replies: >>26589
>>26588
Great question! So, let's try and break it down together. What happened here was this poster >>26583 used the word "mate." The poster self-identifies himself regularly on this anonymous image board, despite frequent protestations from users and Ashley herself. Nevertheless, this is how Ashley (in post >>26585) knows that he lives in the United States (specifically, Augusta), and not a country like Australia, where use of the word "mate" is more commonly used. Americans who use the word "mate" are colossal tryhard faggots, so Ashley has - as a joke, I assume - banned the user for "culturally appropriating the word 'mate'." This is the ban visible in your helpful screenshot of the mod log. I hope this brief summary has been helpful. Please let us know if you have any other questions or concerns!
Replies: >>26599
>>26589
This board urgently needs a code of conduct.
>>26599
This. This. THIS. So much this. There's work going on behind the scenes - normal users like you aren't privvy to it, of course - but the mod team (me) have submitted multiple proposals to the administration (Ashley (she/her)) about just this very thing!

What we're hoping to have implemented very soon includes but is not limited to the following:

- Phone verification (no VOIP or Google Voice, the user must have a REAL phone like any normal person)
- ID verification for users who trip our suspicious activity algorithms (non-cellular or residential IP addresses, spoofed browser user-agents, using Linux, and a bunch of other techno-mumbo-jumbo you don't need to understand!)
- Ban the use of VPNs/Tor or any other networks popular with criminals
- Users will have to read and e-sign the Code of Conduct after a brief quiz to provide proof-of-understanding
- During the 3 day waiting period before your TubGurl.com account is activated, users will be sent recommended tolerance and anti-hate video essays via SMS
- The above content will also be available directly in the TubGurl.com iPhone app (pending, Android version TBA)
- Mandatory 6-month user evaluations
- Frequent reminders that use of TubGurl.com and the /ashleyj/ board is a privilege that can be revoked at any time at the discretion of the mod team

I'm so glad that you felt comfy enough to express your desire for a comprehensive, effective CoC here at TubGurl.com. Hopefully Ashley will get back to us soon and we can implement these upgrades immediately. Just know that we're doing everything we can to make sure you have a safe experience on the board, and that your feedback is appreciated! Have a good one! 👋🏾
>>26600
Please, lock me up in the concentration camp already.
>>26599
nice milf tits & lolita tits
am i in heaven?
>>26600
You're gay
>>26600
I for one welcome these much needed changes.
>>26599
me n mommy in deh showa :D
Replies: >>26623
>>26600
Yes!! A bigger volunteer mod team is needed to keep Tubgurl a safe space. I'm so happy the team is working diligently with the community to keep Tubgurl safe! I have one suggestion. Please listen to more BIPOC and Queer voices, as there definitely isn't enough representation or discussion about them. BIPOC people's posts should be highlighted in a different color to display their importance and to encourage more positive discussion about their posts. Pronouns should be required at all times in the name field to respect posters' gender identity. Calling other posters (trigger warning) "anonymous" or "anons" represents traumatic memories for some posters, as the word anonymous represents mid-2000's 4chan culture, where the word anonymous was often combined with the use of targeting and threatening Black lives. Please inform Ashley and the other mod team volunteers that users should refer to other posters as Tubbies. If any Plus Sized people would like to interject about the word Tubbies being used, as it may be viewed as derogatory towards Plus Sized people, please let your voice be heard! 🫶 People who have an age difference bigger than 2 years (!!!) should not be allowed to reply to each other, as this may spark a predatory dynamic and is creepy. Thank you for keeping Tubgurl safe!
Replies: >>27027
>>26571
>>26572
Thanks. Yeah, it does need to be longer I suppose. 

On a side note, personally I don't mind people throwing shade and posting ai mush. I'm not offended.
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>>26607
She showers you with her breast milk
>>26600
I don't think so, Satan.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOllF3TgAsM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV-4r2Sl1Is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM_eb0vVo0k&list=RDCLAK5uy_nPBg_V6lm-ym3PQZZ6mGblj1892jfUP60&index=8
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>>26600
>>26610
LAW and ORDER against TROLL TERRORISTS as we BRING THEM TO JUSTICE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdz5kCaCRFM

It doesn't matter what I say So long as I sing with inflection That makes you feel I'll convey Some inner truth or vast reflection But I've said nothing so far And I can keep it up for as long as it takes And it don't matter who you are If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks

Because the hook brings you back I ain't tellin' you no lie The hook brings you back On that you can rely

There is something amiss I am being insincere In fact I don't mean any of this Still my confession draws you near To confuse the issue I refer To familiar heroes from long ago No matter how much Peter loved her What made the Pan refuse to grow

Was that the hook brings you back I ain't tellin' you no lie The hook brings you back On that you can rely

Suck it in, suck it in, suck it in If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn Make a desperate move or else you'll win And then begin to see What you're doing to me This MTV is not for free It's so PC it's killing me

So desperately I sing to thee of love Sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self And I can't keep these feeling on the shelf I've tried, well no, in fact I lied Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside To hide or slide I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride till until I've died And only then shall I abide by this tide Of catchy little tunes Of hip three minute diddies I wanna bust all your balloons

I wanna burn of all your cities to the ground But I've found, I will not mess around Unless I play then hey I will go on all day Hear what I say I have a prayer to pray That's really all this was And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck I don't rely on luck

Because the hook brings you back I ain't tellin' you no lie The hook On that you can rely
Replies: >>27163
https://youtu.be/3Cos7id7HtE?si=p2sVc2TurqpmIbe_
Glam_Rock.mp3
[Hide] (5.1MB, 03:42)
[Verse 1]
Es war im Jahr zweiundsiebzig, die Welt war immer noch rund
Da hustete sie ne schwarze Scheibe heraus aus ihrem Schlund
Ziggy Stardust flog mit direkt vor meine Füße
Alles Gute von David Bowie und schöne Grüße

[Verse 2]
Seit jenem Augenblick war keine Minute vergangen
Ich legte die Scheibe auf und war sofort gefangen
Das war ein Sound vom andern Stern aus andren Dimensionen
Von da an war es abgemacht ich ließ Ziggy bei mir wohnen

[Chorus]
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, mit all ihrem Glitter
Die Lichtorgel bebte, im lauten Songgewitter
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, oh wie hab ich sie vermisst
Weil man seine Idole dann doch zu schnell vergisst

[Verse 3]
Der Starschnitt aus der Bravo, war absolute Pflicht
Sweet und Slade und T. Rex, wer kannte sie nicht
Gary Glitter und Wizard und natürlich auch Hello
Madd und Suzi Quatro, oh mann wie warn wir froh

[Verse 4]
Die Schlager der Woche, am Freitag eingeplant
Die Haare immer länger, wir wurden öfters angemahnt
Das war uns recht egal, wir hatten ja den Gläm Rock
Auf diese geile Musik, hatten wir echt Bock

[Chorus]
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, mit all ihrem Glitter
Die Lichtorgel bebte, im lauten Songgewitter
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, oh wie hab ich sie vermisst
Weil man seine Idole dann doch zu schnell vergisst

[Chorus]
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, mit all ihrem Glitter
Die Lichtorgel bebte, im lauten Songgewitter
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, oh wie hab ich sie vermisst
Weil man seine Idole dann doch zu schnell vergisst

[Chorus]
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, mit all ihrem Glitter
Die Lichtorgel bebte, im lauten Songgewitter
Diese Zeit, diese Zeit, oh wie hab ich sie vermisst
Weil man seine Idole dann doch zu schnell vergisst
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>>27039
The hook.......Doctor Hook

https://youtu.be/eYMbWDfn8Yo
58aa66b9e49cded4b79c194a3327141663eef4dbd8b5cd0abd68ff7a50695da6.mp4
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5pglKFkE3U&pp=ygUTZHVrZSBudWtlbSBzaW5ncyBhaQ%3D%3D
tears_for_fears_rick_ashley_everybody_wants_to_rule_the_world_078C32F0766A828E420AA200AA8C2A0A-7071069.mp4
[Hide] (6.7MB, 960x720, 03:58)
Replies: >>27320
I like Metric - Gold, Guns, Girls even though I didn't like it the first time I heard it. Youth Without Youth sounds nice too. The first song I heard from them was Combat which is a gem but it doesn't pop like some of their other songs so I think I appreciated it more by listening to it first.
>>27304
this just sounds like the original version yes?
b35b3d06be44740b1fc7217aa0efa2d93eb4a7a8d05eb96156a8c6cf0bf11952.mp3
[Hide] (4MB, 01:44)
Made a CC edit. CC bro might like it.
Replies: >>27332 >>27383
bbf24d57bb90ac15b69e21c78140ed69f37da04a9525490256befcd60b00127e.jpg
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>>27328
This is seriously dope. Love it. Needs to be longer. Maybe some leveling? What DAW and stuff do you use? I tinkered with Ableton and FL way way back, extremely fun, but I was never able to get that really clean produced sound like you can. If you want feedback, I think your last post (assuming this is you >>26530) had a cleaner sound. I don't think it's because that was a wav and this is an mp3, or how "busy" each song is, I think it's leveling. BUT I am a retard so who knows. Either way I hope you keep posting. I'd love to hear something from you in this vein:
https://iv.melmac.space/watch?v=mSMLdxRubPo
Yes that is one of the songs often paired with a cringe he's literally me ryan gosling meme, I don't care, I like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZVx3C1qhLk

This day and age we're living

This cause for apprehension

This speed and new invention

And things like third dimension

Yet we get a trifle weary

With Mr. Einstein's Theory

For we must get down to earth at time

Relax, relieve the tension


.
No matter what the progress of what may have improved,

The simple facts of life are such, they cannot be removed


.
You must remember this

A kiss is still a kiss

A sigh is just a sigh

The fundamental things apply as time goes by


.
And when two lovers woo

They still say "I love you"

On that you can rely

No matter what the future brings, as time goes by


.
Moonlight and love songs never out of date

Hearts full of passion, jealousy, and hate

Woman needs man, and man must have his mate

That no one can deny


.
It's still the same old story

A fight for love and glory

A case of do or die

The world will always welcome lovers as time goes by
Replies: >>27352 >>27363
>>27349
fuck you
Replies: >>27353
>>27352
????
c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
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>>27349
https://youtu.be/MHpW2KRThsA
Replies: >>27366
>>27363
It was for Ashley but I thought you'd like that, Seabee. I've never heard this version of the song before but apparently, it's the original. I've only ever heard the version in the movie. The song lyrics remind me of Ashley. I had the urge to watch Casablanca earlier for some odd reason. Maybe it's because I recently invaded Morocco with das Afrika Korps in a game I'm playing. Men used to speak to one another with conviction. They seemed to be more sentimental back then. I mean just read old letters sent home during wartime. I think this all began to change when they started school integration. It suddenly wasn't cool to speak from the heart because kpop fans in the back of the classroom might start calling you gay. Is that what happened? Tell us, old man.
https://archive.org/details/casablanca1942incolorhumphreybogartingridbergmanpaulhenreidclauderainssydneygree

 I looked up Dr. Hook because I remember my dad mentioning them. I know their song Sylvia's Mother because Bon Jovi did a cover of it.

Bored Owner, I have a suggestion. Add a 🤘 (devil horns) flag but make it the 🤟 (i love you) gesture in sign language and call it "dude_thats_metal"
Replies: >>27370
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>>27366
I posted a story on this board some time ago. It was a takeoff on Casablanca where I played Rick and Ashley was Ilsa. And yea, you're right, true sentimentality and romance is just about dead in this day and age. And just for the record, I'm not an old man although I do have a tendency to gravitate towards times when things were simpler but I guess to each his/her own.
Thanks for the the Casablanca movie site, I'll enjoy watching it again.

The song that reminds me of Ashley is Marty Robbins "El Paso"  and his love for a young Mexican girl named Feleena. 

Well, I guess we reminisced enough for now, heh, heh.
Replies: >>27383
ae0b9a27-c6d1-4326-bdb7-c66c19409c82720.mp4
[Hide] (7.6MB, 1280x720, 02:48)
>>25511 (OP) 
I just made this, not sure why.  Enjoy!
Replies: >>27373
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download.jpg
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>>27371
M.C. Hammer always cracked me up with los pantolones he always wore. Can't touch this, yea I don't think I'd want to, heh,heh.
>>27328
really nice anon! got my head a boppin a lil bit
and my knob a throbbin to

>>27370
>I do have a tendency to gravitate towards times when things were simpler

like when there were no blacks? me too, amen brother!
I word filtered youtube links to use Invidious, and Twitter links to use Nitter. Sorry I messed up, please try again
Replies: >>27623 >>27624
>>27619
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=-kN2xVcX3j8
https://yewtu.be/-kN2xVcX3j8

https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=VwUT1LTh7RE
https://yewtu.be/VwUT1LTh7RE
Replies: >>27624
>>27619
>>27623
For some reason, "yewtu.be" can't play the video and I've to "Switch Invidious Instance" to e.g. https://invidious.materialio.us/watch?v=-kN2xVcX3j8

Also, could you also filter YouTube links such as https://yewtu.be/-kN2xVcX3j8

PS: may I send you some of my dick cheese?
Replies: >>27625 >>27627
>>27624
>Also, could you also filter YouTube links such as https://yewtu.be/-kN2xVcX3j8
I mean: youtu.be/-kN2xVcX3j8
Replies: >>27627
>>27624
Sometimes some instances can't play a video due to age restrictions or copyright, most likely the instance's server is based in a country where that specific video is blocked. In which case just select "Switch Invidious Instance" until you get an instance that can play it.

>>27625
I had filtered youtu.be when it has https:// in front of it, I added another filter for when youtu.be is typed without the https://
Replies: >>27628
>>27627
testing
yewtu.be/-kN2xVcX3j8
https://yewtu.be/-kN2xVcX3j8

You need to add "watch?v=" before "-kN2xVcX3j8"
Replies: >>27630
>>27628
You're right, the usual youtube (youtu .be) short link doesn't include /watch?v=, so just replacing it with yewtu.be doesn't suffice. Now fixed, if any other problems arise I will fix them.
Replies: >>27632 >>27636
New-Pringles-‘Penis-Cheese-flavour-a-taste-thats-hard-to-swallow.jpg
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>>27630
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=/-kN2xVcX3j8

Thanks mommy Ashley, i luv ya, you da best. Here, have some dick cheese.
Replies: >>27633 >>27636
>>27632
https://youtu.be/MHpW2KRThsA
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=MHpW2KRThsA
>>27630
>>27632
Oh no, mommy, you added a redundant "/" after "watch?v="

No dick cheese for you.
Replies: >>27637
>>27636
I didn't add a /. I just didn't include "youtu .be/" with the / in the original filter, so it kept the slash at the end of the filter since it wasn't part of the filter. I've since added another filter to include the /, let's see what breaks next.

I wish you guys were right and I had a man to do all this for me. But I don't and that's why everything is falling apart. You can tell a woman manages this website because of the layers of retardation.
Replies: >>27639
Spoiler File
(775.7KB, 1250x938)
>>27637
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=-kN2xVcX3j8

Yay, it works! Thanks mommy. I can be your man with dick cheese.
What does Ashley think about Crystal Castles?
Replies: >>27716
>>27703
I think they're gay. I mean let's be real how hard is it to press play?
Replies: >>27717 >>27722
>>27716
They aren't much better than Glass Houses.
Replies: >>27722
>>27716
>>27717
SCARS WILL HEAL
cornstar.jpg
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Turkey_Song.mp3
[Hide] (3.7MB, 02:42)
Replies: >>27947
FFCDED9C-0FF1-4BE4-8811-80A6F23BA856.jpeg
[Hide] (33.9KB, 414x298)
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=hNwb8LVPThQ?si=ixs89Fj4ACcaLnSg

Sweet dreams.
https://suno.com/song/1773e7ef-7687-4f46-b9b9-d53ee49706cd
Replies: >>27947
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=wi4-QtZJF1A
1773e7ef-7687-4f46-b9b9-d53ee49706cd.mp3
[Hide] (3.9MB, 02:50)
>>27888
heh not bad, but nothing can be the original 

>>27941
you should post the file here next time, increases the chances of getting (You)s. I know, Im somewhat of a veteran (You) farmer myself
plapjak.jpg
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Catfish.mp3
[Hide] (3.9MB, 02:49)
[Verse]
Whispers on the screen never met never seen
Typing hearts at night under digital light
Dream of touch in the cold dim glow
Neon love but where do we go

[Verse 2]
Clickin’ hearts through touch screen glass
Lost souls connect in the vast
Screen becomes more than life outside
Behind masks where we hide

[Chorus]
Unseen love in a pixel parade
Silent cries in a dark arcade
Dreams born in the late-night haze
Love lost in the digital age

[Bridge]
Codes and wires bind us close
Digital ghosts chasing hopes
Touch not real but love still grows
True hearts only the dark knows

[Verse 3]
Blinded by avatars faces unknown
Forever trapped in our cyber zone
Messages sent to the void alone
Lovers with no reality shown

[Chorus]
Unseen love in a pixel parade
Silent cries in a dark arcade
Dreams born in the late-night haze
Love lost in the digital age
Replies: >>27964
f07ab5f3fbe4ef028787a39a1706616e2bdb025a518f434844e818f97df3dc8e.gif
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>>27961
Impressive, very nice.
8674868256256836.jpg
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https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=9xOd-4BfcTg
https://invidious.private.coffee/watch?v=TxBXaMQP2Kg
Tubsisters, its karaoke night over at Ashley's place. 
Tens of us have gathered in that small, smelly carpeted room where her and and the Bandits film her videos we all love.
you only have 1 song choice to win over the crowd, what do you pick?

for me? its going to be "Say it aint so" by Weezer. 
A classic that everyone knows and is great to sing along to

https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=ENXvZ9YRjbo
c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
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Weezer_-_Say_It_Ain't_So_(Official_Video).mp4
[Hide] (43.5MB, 1920x1088, 04:19)
>>28134
Seems like stuff from youtube is shunted over to Invidious and Invidious won't play it. I converted it, let's see if this works. If not, oh well, I tried.
>>28134
>weezer fan
cuck how about you play sum real muzic like Lizzo or Travis Scott or Da Baby or Doja Cat on skibidi
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453787716_1290031035303941_7885158689327735751_n.jpg
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>>25511 (OP) 
saw these custom guitars on marketplace today
The_Strokes_-_Last_Nite_(Official_HD_Video).mp4
[Hide] (18.9MB, 960x720, 03:21)
>>28134
Favourite Nasheeds?
Replies: >>28271
>>28270
get the fuck out of here with that terrorist sh*t
Replies: >>28272
>>28271
Osama did nothing wrong.
Death to America, the whore of zion.
Replies: >>28273
>>28272
Replies: >>28277
e286e2c562fed0a0b2459585c222d09ae819737afe517b8b23ab74acf0694551.jpg
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>>28273
Mmmmkay sir, what seems to be the problem here, sir? *chomp chomp*
Replies: >>28278
>>28277
arrest the pedopgiles like kid sniffing brandon and 9 year old bride muhammad
Replies: >>28279 >>28281
ab2c8ef03e20de991d46244522fc2ce7ae0e7614d295e34dee874b2e38b77c02.jpg
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>>28278
*sighs* Sir, I'm going to, um, I'm going to need you to calm down and sheeit please. Wait, what's that? AAUUUGHHH!!! *BLAM BLAM BLAM* STOP RESISTING!!! *BLAM BLAM* omygot nigga that's not a gun it's the phone he used to call us.
if the smoke alarm chirps you must acquit
>>28278
oh I hate muslims too, I just like the kino nasheeds and hate the great satan america
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=u0B7nLLvZ2w
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2da80117bff1b5d8e51c102a459893eb1f7232837c4201d1c14d16a13ab9359a.mp3
[Hide] (3.2MB, 03:29)
Michael Jackson was exactly 25 years, 4 months and 29 days old when he had is hair catch fire after a pyro malfunctioned and went off earlier than expected during the filming of a Pepsi commercial. 
Skip ahead another 25 years, 4 months and 29 days later, Jackson would die in 2009. in other words, this particular incident took place at the exact halfway point of Michael Jackson's life.
Replies: >>28306 >>28351
>>28305
Also, because of burns he suffered from this event that occurred halfway at the exact halfway point of his life, this event would lead to a pain killer addiction that would be one of the demises that would result in him dying
Replies: >>28321
creepy-af-if-mj-considered-them-his-friends-why-they-seemed-v0-9zh9vbx9wckc1.webp
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Oh so that must explain this
Replies: >>28351
freddie-mercury-1946---1991-of-queen-attends-fashion-aid-at-the-royal-albert-hall-in-london-with-his-friend-mary-austin-5th-november-1985-photo-by-dave-hogangetty-images.jpg
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And Freddie Mercury wasn't gay. He was married to a blond Ashley. He only slept with guys because he was having a sleepover and there was only one bed.
>>28306
It wasn't pain killers that killed him. He had trouble sleeping from the constant stress he faced by people who ruined his life over money. That's why he was going on the "This Is It" tour. It wasn't because he wanted to. He had to out of necessity, but tour is exhausting. Especially for a frail 50 year old man. He couldn't rest for tour because of the stress and his doctor over prescribed an anesthetic which killed him.
mj_and_dave_dave.jpg
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>>28305
>this particular incident took place at the exact halfway point of Michael Jackson's life.
I didn't know this, how bizarre. I don't care enough to verify it for myself, so I'll believe you at face value. I will likely repeat this anecdote to people later with total confidence. Thanks!

>>28310
That would be creepy if it was the guy who stocks shelves during the night shift at Target. You have to understand though that MJ was sheltered his entire life (to an extreme degree) from any sense of normalcy or the lifestyle of a regular joe. Go look up the video where as a surprise for him someone arranged for him to be able to go to a supermarket and pretend to get groceries. They rented the place out, had actors pretending to be shoppers who wouldn't recognize him, etc. He was laughing and having fun, completely blown away by the experience. He never had a normal childhood or adulthood; his entire life was filled with insanity, and he was recognized by pretty much the entire planet. Younger people don't understand how ridiculously famous he was.

Having such stunted development and perceptions lead to him enjoying the company of kids - basically the only people who didn't care who he was or constantly praising him etc. He loved kids and helped them tremendously - in a really sweet, innocent way. Look up David Rothenberg (Dave Dave). This kid's dad tried to kill him by setting him on fire, and he was horribly disfigured. Michael Jackson heard the story or somehow got connected with him, helped him out a bunch, and they became lifelong friends. I seriously doubt MJ was buttfucking him, the guy looked like a melted candlestick. Kids liked Michael and he liked them - not everything in this world is sexually motivated. But greedy fucks knew how ridiculously wealthy he was and saw an opportunity to make money.

There's a lot more to it than this of course, but anytime someone claims MJ was a pedophile is pretty much 100% of the time just someone who is repeating "the accepted opinion" (basically an NPC) and has spent approximately zero time actually researching the topic for themselves.
Replies: >>28354
>>28351
Holy shit, that kid is part llama? That was really nice of MJ to be in a picture with him and his mom.
https://invidious.perennialte.ch/watch?v=Hq1fpN1qWv8
The Animals - House Of The Rising Sun (Music Video) [4K HD]
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=N4bFqW_eu2I
Replies: >>28554
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Replies: >>28554 >>28561
>>28507
great song and easy to play on guitar as well 
>>28549
Thank you Barry74 for sharing your playlist, send warm regards to you wife Linda
Neil LeVang - Ghost Riders In The Sky (1961) 4K
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=0SfU56IDsb4
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>>28549
I like everything on your playlist except Horse With No Name. That song by America was very misleading because........
Replies: >>28566
>>28561
they were probably just "horsing around" heh heh heh
or they were higher than a giraffe's pussy when they wrote it
Replies: >>28568
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>>28566
Probably higher than a giraffe's pussy if you've ever listened to Ventura Highway.
Alligator lizards in the air, hmmm.
f1c88a1cd884e870d06b5c1b85849e53a356ffaf848b08312c6c9b801e14d575.mp4
[Hide] (9.7MB, 576x1024, 00:48)
https://www.tiktok.com/@andrerieu/video/7397453603058814240
Replies: >>28646
Gerard Way was on the Sally Jessy Raphael show in the 90s
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=98LQmdkO8DU
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=a51CXCRuZd0
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09_I_Burn_For_You.mp3
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*steps away for a cigarette while Tor browser initializes*
>'cause i'm a rocket...
*deals the cards, rolls the dice*
>...man
*ponders the horizon*
*sails away*
c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
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The_Buckinghams_-_Kind_Of_A_Drag.mp4
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Kind of a drag
b54f4b42a95b88f784444bfe30a039f624b72279d0abc127adb5166e059e2ff6.mp4
[Hide] (50.4MB, 1088x1920, 01:00)
>>28569
Memory_Lane.mp3
[Hide] (3.5MB, 02:35)
[Verse]
The moon hangs low above the pine trees
Shadows dance on old memories
A whistle blows a ways down the tracks
Another night in my home town

[Verse 2]
The diner’s closed but the coffee’s on
Chairs are empty, everyone’s gone
Jukebox still plays that lonesome song
Passing car echos beneath the lonely moon

[Chorus]
Cold night in a quiet town
Stars don't shine, they just look down
On a cold night in a quiet town
A41B6E80-3921-456B-A61B-16414E216542.webp
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https://m.yewtu.be/watch?v=PmYypVozQb4&pp=ygUJc2FtIHNtaXRo
assman.png
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Is this supposed to be an original music thread or music we've been listening to?
Replies: >>28675
>>28674
both
Replies: >>28770
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=Dm-VAkLSP_I
1723000736754706.webm
[Hide] (3.4MB, 768x432, 02:49)
>>28675
what about musicians pissing and farting on hookers? is that allowed?
Replies: >>28771 >>28790
>>28770
Is that Derrick's mom?!
>>28770
of course. btw I knew it would be chuck berry before I even looked at the thumbnail. r kelly got nothin on my nigga chuck
Jeff Mangum bootlegs are kino tbh
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=OIWRHPFfDIk
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=j-IwjRXp6N0
Modern Talking - You're My Heart, You're My Soul
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=4kHl4FoK1Ys
9869374682462.jpg
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https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=50jw48zVCWk
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https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=AsGuTuztWmQ
Replies: >>29108
>>29099
Where'd You Go - Fort Minor
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=zQdglLeGQXM
The fact that this theme wasn't chosen over the Alicia Keyes and Jack White theme is even more disappointing than the movie.
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=zg2dXY9TOKA
https://suno.com/song/32b27cc2-6ee3-4f86-97ec-108ab815db9d
Rainy_Day_Woman.mp4
[Hide] (9.1MB, 640x368, 02:26)
An8kO-UEe5H0_rB0wsPSdnX-cKYQCh7ft4QiC23NWg9lMusflqxn_-TJ7atHpThswcneiL4B9kU26b49uQTDBTot.mp4
[Hide] (5.9MB, 720x1280, 01:30)
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Rickie_Lee_Jones.mp4
[Hide] (9.3MB, 640x368, 03:36)
This girl is the epitome of cool
This is a lot like me and Ashley.

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=aHIHndRAHSk
Miley23.mp4
[Hide] (9.5MB, 640x368, 04:42)
Replies: >>29690
>>29689
This is why Hitler banned Jazz.
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