/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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In this thread we roleplay as the character in our flag.

RULES:
All out of character discussion must be tagged with /OOC at the end of the post
NO OOC posts allowed in this thread.
Use of creativity via audio, images, drawings, etc. in your post encouraged but not strictly required.
Violence is permitted, but defensive items must be obtained in game.
Any kids playing?
Replies: >>11267 >>11270
>>11266
I'll be your kid honey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Replies: >>11268 >>11277
>>11267
N-no thank you. C'mon, there's gotta be some kids around here, right? Any kids want to tell me their address? I'll uh, I'll come over in my van and drop off all this extra candy I've got.
Replies: >>11272
Wow, this is metal! \m/
Replies: >>11272
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>>11266
Ho-hola yo puedo jugar ?
Replies: >>11301
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>>11268
Hiya Chester! I've got a kid for you right here >>11269 50 bucks and he's all yours for the night!
Replies: >>11273 >>11275
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>>11272
Wow, thanks mom! We get fifty bucks AND you're going to take this thing off for the WHOLE night??
Replies: >>11274 >>11275
>>11273
Now, now, not so fast Derrick *wags finger at Derrick's crotch* We have to see what the nice man wants from you first. No free wee wee unless he says so, got it?
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>>11272
50 bucks for that little retard? Listen lady, I'll give you 20 bucks if I can hire him for the night, charge 10 bucks a pop for a handjob over at the local retirement centre ok
split the money  60/40 since im doing all the leg work plus travel/food expenses

Now whats this little retard eat? Cheese sticks? No, the only cheese stick this kid is going to have in his mouth tonight is the one from the 79 year old Puerto Rican man in room 15 ok

>>11273
No fucking way, this one time my Dad and I went to this old ladys estate sale, I think that old bitches name was Esther, her house especially the closet smelled like pee ok. 
Anyways, turns out, her dead husband had quite the collection of those chrome cock cages.

So my Dad and I, melted em down and flipped the raw metal, we made loads of buckeroos ok
Replies: >>11285
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>>11267
Man up, sissy boy.

https://youtu.be/Ux2v4hgnffM
Replies: >>11280
>>11277
oooooh you can man up inside me any time sweetie Seabee! 
Now show me where all youre navy friends hangout, Taz just cant resist sea men yaaaaaaaay!
Replies: >>11283
*oozes on you* uWu <3
>>11280
The boy is gay. He wants you to be the man.
Replies: >>11285
*plop*
Replies: >>11286
>>11283
Whoa, did you guys just hear that? I heard a voice talking just now about gay boys and men. This is totally spooking me out. Who said that?

OOC: you forgot your flag anon /ooc

More OOC: >>11275 this was so funny and spot on /ooc
>>11284
Oooops! Thorry everyone, that fell out of me. Razzy McTazzie just doesn't have the sphincter control he used to!! Ohh noo!!! yayyyyy!!
Replies: >>11290
God dammit.
Replies: >>11292 >>11293
>>11286
*erects cock* NEEEEEEEIGHGHGH *trots in circles*
>>11288
Oh shiet wassup bitch AhhaHAH
>>11288
Ashley, you REALLY need to start washing me between uses.
Replies: >>11294
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>>11293
*grabs the slightly used horse dildo*
aight yo, dis be a dick up...

Now, errybody hand ova ya monies!
Replies: >>11295
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>>11294
translation: SURPRIZE MOTHERFUCKER Im cumming for dat ass boiiiiiiiiiiiiii LESSSSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! /OOC
Replies: >>11296
>>11295
oh shieeeeeeeeeeeeet, oooh ooh shiiieeeeiiieeeiieeeyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

*Violently ass raped by a Dolphin, Glitta retreats to the alleyways, as the sound of obnoxious rap music fades off into the distance*
*cums*
Replies: >>11298 >>11301
>>11297
*looks at Barry in disgust*
I hate you so much.
Replies: >>11301
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>>11297
>>11298
*After witnessing the dolphin rape, Barry, prematurely ejaculating in his pants to the usual embarrassment of his wife Linda, has worked up an appetite*
*Barry approaches the person that he assumes is of Mexican heritage standing behind the counter*
>>11270
I'll have 2 fried gorditas, an extra large diet dr pepper and some lead paint chips.

Linda, I cant find my wallet again...
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This is a lot like me and Linda.
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No flag for me? Well, that comes as no surprise. I have been banned from 26 European countries after all.
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*Tim Tom upon hearing the dolphin rape*

Did y'all hear that??? Dude, Im scared, i feel there's a ghost about... I, oh gawd... I got to take a spooky dookie!


No way... No way!!!!

*Tim Tom suddenly drops to all fours*

Oh gawd! not again!... The ghost has got me, the ghost has got me!
Replies: >>11391
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>>11384
Cutest little butt this side of the Pecos.
Replies: >>11449
>>11391
ashrey does have a rovery bum! me rike very much!
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*yawns* *sits up in bed* Aaaahh a brand new day! Well actually it's 7pm. What should I do today?
Replies: >>11546 >>11558
>>11484
Derrick have you done your homework yet sweetie?
Replies: >>11547
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>>11546
oh... I um... 
Ugh! sorry lady, Im not Derrick and Im not a 14 year old boy either though I often get mistaken for one.
anyways that reminds me. I have to go to my job at the local carnival now, I cant afford to be late. Im already on thin ice after I karate kicked that guy in the teeth for saying I had clown feet.
Replies: >>11553 >>11558
>>11547
I bet this guy has a bubbly personality and is really good at wrestling.
Replies: >>11558
>>11484
>>11547
>>11553
*hits baguette*
A bit esoteric, no?
There's no better feeling than mowing your lawn at 7 o'clock in the morning.
Replies: >>11629
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>>11626
I love the smell of fresh cut grass in the morning, smells like.....victory.
Replies: >>11638
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>>11629
I love the smell of Ashley's freshly dropped bog bombs in the morning, smells like... red onions and victory.
Replies: >>11639 >>11649
>>11638
shiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeet
>>11638
>he had to stare at me, ashley's shit, for 5 minutes in gimp
>...
>...
>air bubble rises from me
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>humps your leg
>leaves
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I got this nice looking slide for my playroom the other day.
Replies: >>11743
>>11731
This place looks spooky. Might need to investigate it.
Replies: >>11744
>>11743
I-investigate?! No need to investigate anything!
Replies: >>11780 >>11950
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>>11744
I think we should investigate. What are you hiding in there, Chester?

Is it my career?
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Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I've been really busy decorating my room :3
Replies: >>11933 >>11936
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>>11926
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you know what the fuck that is? Yeah, right there in the upper left hand corner. That's an ultra-rare 35mm photograph of Sinéad O'Connor's fucking pussy. Shaved, of course, just like her stupid fucking head, which is currently decomposing. You know what dead pop star pussy pictures sell for? Fucking boo koo bucks, you get me? In fact, one time, my dad and I plotted to kill Sinéad just to take pictures of her sloppy minge. We followed her all the way to the mosque she was attending in 2018. My dad, the absolute fucking beast that he is, he walks right into that fucking den of ragheads, right? He reeked of bacon. Absolutely stank of hickory smoked fucking pig. Did he care? No way, he just strolled right in and started screaming at the top of his lungs for someone to bring him Shuhada' Sadaqat. Some Osama-looking fucker comes out and tries to shut him down, right? Yeah, not my dad, he straight up gave that jihadi nerd the finger and kept right on hollering. But then, and this is where shit really gets crazy, we realize holy shit, that's fucking Cat Stevens. So we knocked his ass out, dragged him to the bathroom, and took like a hundred pictures of his dick. We high-tailed it out of there, hit up my dad's darkroom, and developed those fuckers like Sinéad never developed her ability to maintain a successful marriage. We got them done just in time to run down to the swap meet, right? My dad flipped those pictures of Yusuf Islam's cock and balls to a group of Vietnamese tourists for eighty dollars and two steaming hot bowls of Bún thịt nướng. No shit, it was one of the best days of my life. My dad even let me keep this photocopy of Cat's itty-bitty donger. Except here's the thing: that's not even his dick. I kid you not, turns out we knocked some fucking random Abdul unconscious and sold pictures of his genitals. I know it wasn't Cat Stevens' pecker because he actually showed it to me backstage at the reunion episode of Top of the Pops, and let me tell you, it was a total monster. You get all that?
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>>11926
 What drink is this?  /OOC
>>11744
I dunno bro, this place gives me the creeps bro, I can feel another spookie dookie coming on... or maybe its from the Taco Bell I had earlier...
*suddenly a high pitched noise is heard*
What was that?! Quick, Tim get the camera rolling! get the camera rolling!
*gels up hair*
.....
We're here at this weird looking mans apartment where we just heard a strange, high pitched noise. This place might just be haunted, so its time for Tim Tom and I, to get ghunting!
Tim Tom... turn on our patented "Spooky Searches Spectre Spotting Spotlight with blacklight technology".
Replies: >>11952
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>>11951
Alright, lets do this thing
*turns on the Spooky Searches Spectre Spotting Spotlight*
No way! look at all this ecto plasm! This place IS haunted
Replies: >>11953
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>>11952
Uhh... you guys really dont have to do this...
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Just finished painting my nails.:3
Replies: >>12852 >>12854
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>>12851
Can you do mine next?
>>12851
So fries do come with that shake.
I'm finna bust a nut fr fr aight
Replies: >>12968 >>12969
>>12967
*neeEiiiHgggh* Is glitta derrick's dad? *eats carrot* Black men always leave their kids and derrick doesn't have a dad *trots off pondering* .....
>>12967
Need a hand, sweetie?
Replies: >>12970
>>12969
fuck outta here lil gay ass nigga
Replies: >>12971
>>12970
maybe I can offer you a hand... and a warm hole....
Replies: >>12972
>>12971
shieet aight, u white bitches be cray
hey mom, how do.... GOSH WHY ARE YOU SUCH A WHORE!
Replies: >>12974 >>12975
>>12973
sshhhh there, there derrick dont worry about her, now why dont you come over here and like your mothers getting right now, I can give you some of my warm, sticky, gooey goodness in your mouth!
Replies: >>12975
>>12973
>>12974
If its warm, sticky, gooey goodness you want in your mouth Derrick, I can help you... plus unlike those gross Cheese sticks, mines a lot more healthier, its even got protein in it too hehehe!
Hey faggot I know you're trying to get the get.
Replies: >>12977
>>12976
Ive worked too damn long and too damn hard on it to let this one slip thru my fingers you deflated ball sack
Replies: >>12979
>>12977
Conveniently I'm going to bed right now and not spamming the funny thread.
Replies: >>12980
>>12979
make sure to have a shower before your premier please
Replies: >>12981
>>12980
I have a shower. Not that I'm gonna get in it. I like having my pubic crabs, if I drown them in the shower that's 20 less friends I have :(
Replies: >>12983
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whats a GET?

the only thing I GET is a sore back after all hard I do scrubbing the floor in the Navy
Replies: >>12985 >>13011
>>12981
just put on a shower cap, that way your head lice wont wash away and you still have those little friends, its what I do for my sweet little boy
Replies: >>12984
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>>12983
>its what I do for my sweet little boy

oh god lady, stop I can only get so erect!
>>12982
>a sore back after all hard I do 

*hard work

jesus, i think Im having a stroke
Replies: >>12986
>>12985
>Im having a stroke

me too, me too
Replies: >>12989
>>12986
Masturbation is a sin.
Replies: >>13006 >>13013
*yawn* Alright im awake. Oh almost time for me to get the get!
Replies: >>12999
>>12990
not this time bitch!
>>12989
Only when you cum it is considered a sin which can be forgiven after confession. Spill the beans after you spill your load and you shall pass through the gates of Heaven.
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>>12982
Too bad you're such a loser that you have to use my Seabee insignia to make your lame ass post. Get a life.
Replies: >>13019
>>12989
You don’t even read the Bible.
Replies: >>13014 >>13018
>>13013
This is a ROLEPLAY thread, nigga. NO OUT OF CHARACTER ALLOWED. Get in my character, nigga. Put yo self into me, nigga. Yeah.
>>13013
nah you don't thou shan't be lustiin' pls repent fren
Replies: >>13024
>>13011
God, you're just like my husband, Barry. A stupid retard. *laugh track*
>>13018
Okay, but you even read the scriptures.
Replies: >>13033
>>13024
I cant read fam
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Human dumbasses.
They are Almost all vaxxinated with  our “medicine”.
Jar jar jar jar jar (they laught while smoke pot and drink beer).
Replies: >>13041 >>13053
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>>13040
Can you believe we got them all to wear totally ineffective and purposeless masks?! The stupid apes!
JAR JAR JAR JAR JAR!! (this is how reptilians laugh from now on)
Replies: >>13053
>:(
>>13040
>>13041
JAR JAR JAR?
ooh ole Razzy McTazzie has a friend who absolutely LOVES jars! but oh nooes-eh-toezee-wooziees... he had a bit of an accident with one!
*spreads legs*
*fart noises*
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Ashley say’s that reptilians are the fake Jews. What about grays are they mulattos?
Replies: >>13088 >>13094
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>>13069

Not quite right

Here's how the hierarchy goes, from top to bottom

1 Reptilians

2 Greys 

3 Jews

-------------------

Reptilians are a parasitic alien race that physically and spiritually leeches off other life forms.

-------------------

Greys were once an independent "humanoid" alien race, then subdued by the Reptilians, genetically modified and microchipped. They have no will of their own, no autonomy, no sexual organs. They're mere biomechanical puppets, created to bring about their very same fate to other planets, including Earth.

-------------------

Jews were also created by the Reptilians by merging human and reptilian DNA, sent to Earth to execute the reptilian agenda. It is engrained in their souls, their spiritual leaders even speak publicly about it (see link below).

https://laitman.com/2011/05/the-aliens/#gsc.tab=0

------------------

So to answer your question, jews are the actual spacemutts
Replies: >>13091 >>13094
>>13088
First reply broke

Anyway it's

1. Saturn
2. Demons(usually in the form of reptillians, also greys, shadow people, and ghosts, ALL psychic beings)
3. Nephilim(Demon/Human hybrids)
 3.5/2.5. the antichrist(s) 
4. Jews
5. good goyim

Only being with will in the hierarchy is Saturn, everyone else here is fully obedient to his will, consciously or unconsciously.
Replies: >>13094 >>14317
>>13069
>>13088
>>13091
hey fucksticks this is the roleplay thread! Go haunt another thread or something. I've got a bunch of ectoplasm to clean up.
Replies: >>13097
>>13094
Ya you tell em, tell those old scrotes!
Replies: >>13098
>>13097
Tim, youre talking to yourself again. 
Man, your ex wife must've hit you over the head really hard after she found you trying on her clothes in the garage
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Actually I think it goes like this:

   Fallen Angels

   Nephilim  (offspring of fallen angels and human women, they were considered giants and all 
   perished in the great flood except one named Goliath who lived a long time but was slain by 
   David)

   Reptilians, Greys, Aliens (these are the various forms the fallen angels assume to this very day)
Replies: >>13103
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>>13099
whoa whoa... no way? no fucking way!
Check this out. this is a vintage United States Naval Construction Battalion, or Seebee for short ok. 
you wont fucking believe the types of things these little fuckers can do. Wait, oh... nevermind. its the Seabee2014 model.

This isnt worth anything all, its just fucking garbage ok.

*throws it in the dumpster*
Replies: >>13109
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>>13103
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Has anyone seen my false teeth?
Replies: >>14173 >>14194
>>14152
inb4 seabee loses his mind at this post for impersonating him because he literally doesn't understand the point of this thread
Replies: >>14180 >>14194
>>14173
nah you don't /OOC
Replies: >>14194
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>>14152
>>14173
>>14180
Talk shit about my husband like that and he will construct a world of pain on your ass, alright?!?!?
Replies: >>14201 >>14220
>>14194
Heterograph? Are you telling me Seabee is now Shebee?
Replies: >>14205
>>14201
I hope so, all my friends and family disowned me after I transitioned so I could use a friend to hang out and play Magic the Gathering with.
Replies: >>14206 >>14209
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>>14205
Trust me it's not because you transitioned, it's because you play Magic the gathering
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>>14205
uuuhhh, you ended your sentence with a preposition
Replies: >>14211 >>14223
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Anybody got the Black Lotus?
Replies: >>14212
>>14209
cb izz uh gramber yahtzee
>>14210
yes
OOC: Reminder: in this thread we ROLEPLAY as the CHARACTER in OUR FLAG ...however I would be open to changing the rules to just ROLEPLAYING as the character/object in the attached image or video. 
What say you DM?
Replies: >>14214
>>14213
Yes
Replies: >>14215
>>14214
No Board Owner trip?
Looks like we could be dealing with a mimic demon here!
Replies: >>14216 >>14227
>>14215
Yes
Replies: >>14218
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>>14216
Replies: >>14219
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>>14218
She is one crazy white woman.
Replies: >>14221
>>14194
dayum nigga this getting p good maybe do sum shit where she like tellin yo ass how to beat yo meat or summat lyk dat
>>14219
First, I guess I have to say thank you for your service. But aside from that you are as retarded of a boomer as my husband, Barry. This is because you apparently STILL don't understand the point of this thread. Do you need someone to explain it to you, like how I explain to my husband that I'm not interested in sex with him? Honestly, at this point, it's shocking. Linda out.
Replies: >>14222
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>>14221
I iz sorry masta, please don't whip me again.
Iz dis da point of da thread masta?
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>>14209
uuuhhh, you get rear-ended and sent on your way with preparation h
Sam Hyde chokes on a dick.
Replies: >>14226
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>>14224
Wanna know what I also choke on? It's the tears of Ashley Jones since she is very weak and defenseless and I'm well over a foot taller than her so I hold her down and shove my chode into her tight hole whilst she weeps and whimpers, desperately trying to escape my strong, manly grip.
As my large hands grasp around her petite neck, Ashley realizes that her fighting will only make her lose even more. This realization makes her wetter and wetter and in between her moaning, she relaxes and gives herself completely to me.
Her tight hole ooozes all over my hard cock as I thrust deeper and deeper inside her and for the next 3 minutes, her body is mine.
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>>14215
What if it's Ashley pretending to be someone pretending to be her?

https://youtu.be/YCVc2D6Sghw
Guys, this thread is STRICTLY for roleplaying. Any posts that are not made in character will be moved out of this thread. I take this very seriously.

How to roleplay: 
1. Pick a flag from the flag selection
2. Write your post as if you were the person/thing in your flag

Example: (flag is AIDS_Survivor) Ohhhh~~~!!! I survived AIDS but I might not survive this massive dick I'm about to take!! YAAAAY!!!!

You cannot make any "regular" posts in this thread. Everything must be written in character as the flag you choose. If you want to say something semi-serious, it must still be in character roleplaying as your flag.
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>>14229
https://youtu.be/CJ6tg6NR5vc
>>14229
Ooooohhh!~ Mommy's mad guyth!!!
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>>14229

Hey ash. Can you add a flag of black ghetto culture, plz? i think we could have Lots of fun talking that way.

https://youtu.be/88Jby9J3HLQ?feature=shared
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>>14252
We already got one silly cracka hah yeah bitch
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>>14229
>You cannot make any "regular" posts in this thread. 
Can we make "spicy" posts? I'll roleplay for you, mamacita.

Look ma, no pants! There isn't a Carl's Jr. nearby so I don't have a way to wrap this breakfast burrito but it'll still make you dissociate. I'm hungry mama, I really am. When you gonna let me get in that feeding trough. I'm ready to wee all the way home. Oink! Oink!
Reminder that ash bought food for this thing
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>>14284
Nah that guy's 300 pounds heavier and can't even grow a beard /OOC
Replies: >>14299
>>14294
hairier than you achmed
>>13091
Saturn used to be so so very close to earth in ancient times.


IT WILL AGAIN!
since no one here can RP, none of you guys are getting invited to my DnD campaign
Replies: >>14322
>>14321
if youre DnD campaign is as bad as how poorly you LARP trying to be a male, then its going to suck and no one will want to go to it anyway!!!
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hey
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Hey guys, what are you up to? I spent the day reading /r/interestingasfuck because I'm smarter than the average guy. Then I chatted with my friends on discord and we all had a virtual circle jerk to transgender porn together. (I checked with the model on OnlyFans, she said group showings were OK but I tipped her extra anyway.)
Replies: >>16221
>>16210
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dis muh problem solver right here
I was only 30 years old. I loved Ashley Jones so much, I downloaded all of her videos on YouTube.

Every night I masturbate to Ashley's bunions, thanking her for the content I've been given.

"Ashley is love." I say. "Ashley is life."

My dad hears me and tells me that stereotypical faggots like me are ruining the Ash's chances of returning to the web.

I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Ashley. I call him an idiot. He slaps me and sends me to bed.

I'm crying now, and my face hurts. I lie in bed, cold and bitter. Suddenly, a warm hand touches my shoulder.

It's Ashley. I'm so ecstatic.

Taking her clothes off, she whispers in my ear.

"This is my house."

Ashley jumps onto my back with her smooth and sexy spider legs and pulls my pants down as I get down on my hands and knees.

I spread my ass cheeks for Ashley. Her surprisingly huge horse dildo penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Ashley.

I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against her force. I want to please Ashley. I also want to lick, rub, and worship her bunions more than anyone else in the whole wide world. Just the thought makes me squirt love juice.

"OH BAY-BEE!" She whines a mighty whine as she fills my butt with her love.

My dad walks in.

"What in the holy mother of &$* is going on in here?" he yells.

Ashley turns around and looks him in the eye. "It's all over now, faggot."

She leaps out the window and vanishes. I'm sound asleep.

"Ashley's love. Ashley's life."
>>17316
*finished drinking monster energy drink* amazing shit and i really hope they dont understand why its great, this is a+++++  *shoots classmate*
Replies: >>17325
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>>17316
Ashley did this back in 2014 only it was Rocco who did it to Ashley.
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>>17316
>>17319
>amazing shit 
as an amazing shit myself, I agree
real recognize real
>>17323
YO DAWG how do you know dis? tell me g!
Replies: >>17345
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>>17338
Go to Ashley's Google+ Hangout "Join This For Top Secret Info" dated November 27 2014

Ashley begins the Rocco story at  1:15:09
Replies: >>17355
>>17345
Dawg dat shit was actually p funny
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>>17316
Hope that Ashley doesn't employ Mordacai and sue you for plagiarism.
Replies: >>17361
>>17358 >>17358that kike is too busy hiding in their kike underground tunnel to sue anyone ..   fox news
‏‏‎ ‎
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 bardon
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>mfw Ashley reviews cheese sticks but she doesnt eat them on camera
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>>17996
Hey faggot, are you deaf as well as stupid? I said I was feeling sick otherwise I would have eaten them.
Replies: >>18018
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...
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>>17997
Bitch the only reason yo ass was sick is cause you ate mosta dat shit b4 the camera was even turnt on sheeeit
>>18001
Is it gay that I want to put these in my mouth?
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>>18027
Only if someone is looking and you forget to say “no homo”
Replies: >>18030 >>18035
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>>18028
This is the way
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>>18027
>>18028
>>18030
Is it gay that I want to stick them up my ass then put them in my mouth?
Replies: >>18044
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>>18035
yes sweetie.

In unrelated news, I've been playing the new Gran Tourismo racing game. It's like soooo realistic, I can drive in the game the same way I drive in real life! yaaayy!
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WEEEEE WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR A BIKE RIDE!!! YAY!!!!
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sheds a tear
I miss you Mom
RIP
gets back on her knees
well, no time for tears. Back to work.
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>>23953
Wait Mom!
here you go, I made you a special Mothers day card with my ant food.
looks down at the ground and softly mumbles
hope it makes you feel better...
Replies: >>23955
>>23954
Thank you Derrick! 
kisses Derrick on the mouth
This makes Mommy feel much, much better!
kisses Derrick on the mouth again
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I saw this funny picture of sleepy joe on the internet , thought I share it on here for everyone to get a good laugh! heh,heh

https://theweek.com/political-satire/1013410/sleepy-joe-and-the-fish
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