/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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Welcome to /x/ - x-lax. This is not a thread for the faint of shart. We hope you enjoy your descent into the depths of madness. Whatever you do... don't shit your pants.
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Should you need a guide, the resources in this post are not exhaustive and are merely meant to get one's pants dirty.

Are You Afraid of The Dark?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=G3gebvDfwB8 [Embed]

Eerie, Indiana
https://www.youtube.com/show/SCWf079dBnaFlhETJK4BY7hA?season=1&sbp=CgEx

Ernest Scared Stupid
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6NibeIdiIuI [Embed]

Courage the Cowardly Dog
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxsiZ1drga5K2na09h1yhyg/videos
Replies: >>1944
>>1935
Ernest always gets my pants dirty, just not for the reasons discussed in your post (not with shit (aka feces (aka excrement)))
Kino stuff right here
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X3FJePrGZb8
Replies: >>2039 >>2181
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>>2015
Replies: >>2179
Anyone else enjoy watching this completely normal family?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LavY2K3-Vhs [Embed]
>>2039

candy candy candy candy

https://youtube.com/watch?v=X3FJePrGZb8 [Embed]
Replies: >>2181
>>2179
Bruh
>>2015
Replies: >>2187
Batman The Animated Series: Moon of the Wolf [1]
https://youtube.com/watch?v=q-zFH2FopLc [Embed]
Batman The Animated Series: Moon of the Wolf [2]
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9xMk2naim34 [Embed]
Batman The Animated Series: Moon of the Wolf [3]
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9fFfqq7F-sg [Embed]
Batman The Animated Series: Moon of the Wolf [4]
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yuBos0uIgbo [Embed]
Batman The Animated Series: Moon of the Wolf [5]
https://youtube.com/watch?v=WHytkzgSi6M [Embed]
>>2181

Fuuuuuuuuuu... I checked, too.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ygSEkwRCQPM [Embed]
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vOGhAV-84iI [Embed]
Replies: >>2206
Casper the Friendly Ghost Hooky Spooky Halloween Special 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0knam4l-SVA [Embed]
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`
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>>2189
https://youtube.com/watch?v=sVjk5nrb_lI [Embed]
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>>2197
>>2198

Have you ever done an image search on google image- umm, I mean Yandex, for "eldritch garfield"
Some pretty cool artwork.
Replies: >>2247
When Halloween Was Forever | The Real Ghostbusters Ep 8
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Y30_iB3vAUg [Embed]
>>2207
"JON WHERE IS MY VAGINA"
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This guy on YouTube has been documenting apparitions in his house over the past few years and some of the footage he captured seems too good to be true. Many people have criticized his channel for being fake yet he's invited both regular people and ghost hunters from all over the US to visit his home and witness these strange entities for themselves. He disabled the comment section in some of his videos because he's a boomer, so there's no time stamps to navigate through some of his lengthy videos. 

Skip to 15:50
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mqyig0UV-7w [Embed]
Replies: >>4818
>>4816
Ghosts are real. I saw one in my home and it was in the room with me long enough for me to mistake it for an intruder and then to realize it was a ghost. Not only that, but I freaked when I realized it was one of my dead relatives. It's one of those things that you have to experience for yourself. No one will believe you or understand until they experience it for themselves. I've been meaning to post my experience but I haven't. There was nothing fantastic about my experience. It was just a sighting. The only thing that makes my experience unique is that is was the ghost of a relative in the home they died in a decade earlier. I stayed in the room they died in. I wasn't made aware of this until after I saw the ghost. I didn't see the ghost in my room, though. I saw it walk from the kitchen to the dining room and stop at thew dining room table. As I began to creep forward to get a closer look, it turned and looked at me and that's when I realized it was a ghost of my relative and I fell backwards into the wall and onto the floor. The ghost was still standing there and I could see it clear as day. Then it turned and walked into the darkness of the living room. I woke my dad up with all the commotion and he ran in there and all the doors were still locked and could only be locked from the inside. When I was younger, I was one of those guys that would go into "haunted" places, now I don't take any chances.
I haven't witnessed any ghosts personally, although I've seen shadowy figures move in the corner of my eye but assumed it was just my imagination. Other than that, I haven't heard voices or seen objects fallen on their own. I've had plenty of experiences with sleep paralysis which made me believe my house was haunted until I did more research and realized it was just a sleeping disorder. I rarely get them now since I sleep on my side or stomach, it's only when I sleep on my back that makes the "old hag" appear in my room. 

Scariest moment was when I was having a nap mid afternoon in my room and I "woke up" paralyzed and feeling great dread since I felt something in the room with me. I kept my eyes closed hoping to fall back asleep until I heard something from the end of my bed say my name and suddenly pounce on top of me and starting breathing very heavily down my neck. My body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and it took me a great amount of effort to simply roll over. I eventually drifted back to sleep and when I actually woke up everything felt fine again. Now whenever I get the odd sleep paralysis, I just ignore it and keep sleeping. It's the same with nightmares, the more afraid you are the worse it's gonna get.

I would like to get a group of people together for some urban exploration, or trespassing if you will, at some of the abandoned factories, hospitals or anywhere that's potentially "haunted". But that can require lots of planning and preparation in order to be safe since you're dealing with asbestos, homeless people, syringes, mobile patrol units, etc. which is what turns most people off about the whole idea.
Replies: >>4830
>>4827
My experience wasn't sleep paralysis. I was awake coming out of the bathroom from taking a shower. It was around 5am. I was a night owl and would stay up playing Battlefield 1942 and watching Toonami. I wasn't exactly tired as I had slept during the day. Seeing the ghost walk from the kitchen to the dining room table and then to the corner of the living room was the daily routine of this relative. They would wake up, go to the bathroom that I was in to get ready for the day and then go into the kitchen to have breakfast and would walk over to the dining room table to go through the mail. Then they would go sit in their chair and read the newspaper.

Speaking of sleep paralysis, I was woken up from a dream about Ashley last night because a tomcat came through my pet door and tried to rape one of my cats while she was sleeping on me. It was fucking crazy. I was so startled that I couldn't even recall my dream, I just remember Ashley was definately in it. I do remember something grabbing me in the dream and then waking up and hearing cats fighting on me.

I've done a lot of urban exploring. There used to be lots of places to explore around here but sadly, most of them have been torn down or renovated this past decade.
Replies: >>4831
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>>4830
I loved playing Battlefield 1942 and its expansions back in the day. It's a shame that series has turned to shit now just like Call of Duty.

The school I went to used to be an insane asylum many years ago, some of the buildings were being renovated and there's been reports of workers having ladders kicked from underneath them, knocking, whispering, etc. Even students were getting strange vibes from inside the classrooms, especially the basement. There's also an underground tunnel with many passages beneath the campus where patients and staff used to walk through during the Winter. I had an opportunity to go down there one night with a group of people on my floor but I had to study for an exam the next morning and so I didn't go.
the only ghost ive seen is the one reflected back at me
Why does my house always wait til my computer and all my lights are off to start making weird noises while I’m in bed?
Replies: >>4843 >>4846 >>4847
>>4838
I used to have a Dell Latitude D830. I fell asleep while it was charging one evening and woke up to loud popping sounds and a flashing. Then I smelled smoke. I turned on my bedroom light and my laptop was smoking. I unplugged it from the wall and thought it was completely dead. I removed the battery and plugged it back up and it turned back on no problem.
>>4838
its just the house frame, adjusting to the temperature since timber expands and contracts as the houses temperature/humidity changes.
Or sometimes it can be air pressure building up then releasing in the water pipes as well

or its a spooky ghost or a someone in your home coming to rape and kill you
>>4838
You didn't turn your house off.
Pretty sure I scared away the ghost that was at my old house because it got tired of seeing me masturbate all the time.
What did Ashley mean by this? Does she love guys in jeans?
Replies: >>4858 >>4862 >>4864
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It's misspelled. Supposed to say 'Guys In Genes'
Replies: >>4856
>>4855
I think I have this guy's superpower.
>>4851
I bet she loves staring at their bulges LIKE AN ABSOLUTE PERVERT
>>4851
She is in luck. They let us wear jeans in the office on Friday.
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>>4851
yes, especially JNCOs
Replies: >>4870 >>4880
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>>4864
Good to know.
Replies: >>4880
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Oh no it wasn't me, it was this spooky ghost!
Replies: >>4880
Do you believe in ghosts?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mqyig0UV-7w [Embed]
Replies: >>4875
>>4873
Nigga, I saw one, yes, and it wasn't a shadow. It was like one of the spectres you see on Unsolved Mysteries reenactments. This is one of the few times footage from a ghost hunter show spooked me. I believe this is real.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wBAiysFzLOY [Embed]
Ashley should do a ghost hunting video. Unless she's too scared...
Replies: >>4880
Never seen a ghost but about a month ago at 2am when I was slowly falling asleep I hear a voice talking loudly downstairs. It sounded feminine but I couldn’t make out what it was saying. Maybe it was coming all the way from the basement. It went on and on for about two or three minutes before fading away. I was the only person home. I sat up in bed to try to hear it better but still couldn’t determine what it was saying. No way I was going downstairs to see what it was. Told myself it was probably coming from a car outside and it sounding like it was in the house was some sort of audio illusion or something. Went back to sleep and it never happened again. Maybe it was ashley.
Replies: >>4880
this is a lot like me and Ashley.jpg
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>>4864
>>4870
I don't care what any JINCO wearer says, those things are just impractical and annoying to wear. Your lying to yourselves if you think otherwise JINCO wearers! Yes, I see you!

>>4871
Damn, 2018. That would be a winner for the Cuckies for sure.

>>4877
https://youtube.com/watch?v=rklyukdVa8c [Embed]
It would be cool to see her remake an older video with her improved video editing skills

>>4878
>Maybe it was ashley.
Maybe your insane?
Replies: >>4882
>>4880
>your
Nice work. Obviously the Ashely thing was a joke. Although I do wonder where she goes when she is not around.
Replies: >>4896
>>4882
>Although I do wonder where she goes when she is not around.

Ive heard rumors she goes to the bathroom a lot. Like a lot, a lot.
Thats probably where she got her pronouns (poo/pee) from.
Replies: >>4936
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>>4896
Ashley is a dung eater.
Replies: >>4937
>>4936

Damn I would actually like to see that sexy bitch eat dung. Super thick coating from the neck down. It’s warm and creamy and she feels so good she starts rubbing one out. All while she’s laying on a comfy bed of (poopoo/peepee) cracklin all over her body. Fuck it’s got me chubbs
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Ashley is alredy in an rpg.
I keep this story hid because I know how it sounds. Me and my friend were smoking a blunt while walking up an unusually steep hill in the burbs. I saw a small black triangle completely still above the city skyline. I asked if he saw it too. His reaction confirmed it. Surprised as I was, we looked on for a few seconds. Turning to him with my eyes still on it, "What do you thin-", is all I got out before it moved out of sight faster than any plane, helicopter, or anything I've known. In unison we both said "wooaah" and then we blew each other, crazy right?. I know I'm adding to the "retarded stoner saw an alien" lore, but that's okay I know what I saw. I still think about that moment and try to preserve it's accuracy. I wish I could talk to my old friend about it, but we burned our bridge over a broken ac unit on a hot day. I would've dismissed anyone with my story prior, but now I've been more willing to entertain the idea of aliens/ufos since then. Maybe Ash is right, maybe they're programming us for a false alien invasion... who knows maybe Ash is an alien herself ;P
Replies: >>5621 >>5622 >>5635
>>5620
Holy shit bro that's crazy. It just zipped out of sight, no way it was a stealth bomber or anything like that? Did it have any lights or was it totally dark? Did you suck each other at the same time or did you take turns? My buddies and I usually take turns. Wild story though, I wonder if it was extraterrestrial or maybe secret government tech
Replies: >>5623
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>>5620
With all due respect, it sounds more like picrel
Replies: >>5624 >>5626
>>5621
It was 100% not a stealth bomber. It projected upwards at a 60 or 70 degree angle from a stationary position at a rate I just can't explain. No lights, just a totally dark triangular silhouette against the orangish sky, as the sun was just starting to set. I've thought long and hard about what it could've been, but I can't come to a conclusion.
>>5622
The hell is a picrel?
Replies: >>5627
Oh damn, I figured it out. My bad I'm not hip to internet slang lol
>>5622
That's alright, I'd dismiss it too if it wasn't for the fact that I saw and experienced it myself.
Replies: >>5629
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>>5624
picture related
Replies: >>5628
>>5627
Yeah, got it. My bad I'm retarded.
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>>5626
Yeah, I know it must be frustrating to see something weird and it's hard for other people to believe you. All kidding aside I've read in a few places that our government is experimenting with triangular super planes.
Replies: >>5630
>>5629
It can be, but I don't take it personal. I don't even want to hear my own story, it's annoying. Brain fried stoners giving ear beatings, like "yeah DeWD and then it shot up into the sky". Fuck, I want to beat my own ass. But, yeah the government could be doing some shit
The best weed I ever smoked was this stuff that tasted like oregano.
>>5620
I believe you. I read often about UFOs, it's pretty much confirmed by endless stories like yours that there are UFOs. Even my parents saw one above our little town, though the formation was different. There were 3 moving together in a triangle. 

I just wonder what's going on inside them and why. Personally, I think aliens serve as a great psy op; "aliens" in some form exist. Be it reptilians, aliens, really any intelligent being that isn't a human. They have to exist, I know it. They just give us a BS story that "maybe aliens exist and if they do, they're here to help us!!!". There's many different flavors of aliens that I listed, likely with the same agenda in mind. To continue their project of making humans their slaves - which we already are. We serve as a battery for them. Just like they show in the Matrix. Ever think how it's interesting batteries have Graphene in them? And guess what's in those vaccines? Graphene.
Replies: >>5645
>>5635
I'd like to believe that, but I want to remain neutral until I have solid evidence or a personal experience. For entertainments sake, let's say what you think is true. How'd graphene being in the human body transfer energy to aliens?
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>tfw no qt 3.14 sleep paralysis gf
I had a sleep paralysis demon grab my dick once at my uncle's house when I was a kid.
https://invidious.snopyta.org/watch?v=6y3Z74XRKDA based game, please check this out.
Replies: >>6173
>>6172
thank you for using an invidious link.
At a glance the game looks interesting. Myst vibes or am I wrong? QRD on it? The video is quite long though so I'll have to put it on in the background sometime.
Replies: >>6179
>>6173
Very much like Myst. The developer of the game supposedly killed himself and his wife. The game offers compelling information about government coverups, aliens, secret societies throughout the ages of man, etc. The game is not on Steam. The game is very cryptic and long, but I highly recommend pausing the video and reading some of the material within when it comes up. No jumpscares in the game so no worries, just very eerie atmosphere. Well, there's a few spooky moments, but the guy gives warnings when it might be spooky. Some of the music and voice acting is well done imo.
Replies: >>6181
>>6179
Oh whoa, now I see why you posted in the /x/ thread. That sounds wild. I'll watch the vid when time allows. Looks like you can download it here:
https://www.myabandonware.com/game/drowned-god-conspiracy-of-the-ages-bel
and according to the comments I guess his family is trying to rerelease the game or something? kinda vague, just asking for "signatures" (emails). I find it hard to believe the family of a guy who went all stabby on everyone would want to promote his story, so maybe that part isn't true.
Replies: >>6210
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>>6181
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you guys ever see shadow people?
Replies: >>8554 >>8557
>>8553
Yes, they're haunting an apartment complex a few blocks away from me, they strike under cover of night
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>>8553
Most probably Nephilim, the offspring of fallen angels and human females or the fallen angels themselves which account for UFO sightings and other mysterious phenomena.
I noticed a fairly large scratch on my arm when I woke up this morning and have no idea how I got it. This ever happen to anyone?
Replies: >>8661
>>8660
yep, but also random bruises too
Replies: >>8735
>>8661
I've woken up with bruises on my dick, very strange.
whatever happened to alien anon?
you know that guy that would post schizo vocaroo rants?
Replies: >>8745
>>8739
He was abducted.
Replies: >>8768
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>>8745
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9h5PCkx5gQ
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So you guys know all the alien stuff in the news lately is a psyop right
Replies: >>11192 >>11204
>>11176
Yes
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>>11176
Anon is absolutely correct. What some people and pilots have been witnessing are most probably holograms perpetuated by the elitists in the shadow government. These elitists are slowly grooming the sheep to believe these entities exist. The second stage will soon be implemented, ie, starting rumors of an impending invasion by these entities.

To arm and unite ourselves against these invaders these elitists will convince all governments to structure a one world government, something they've wanted for years.These elitists are nothing more than power hungry narcissists.

I've been watching the Senate hearings on UFOs. The only thing mentioned about these entities is that they are non human yet the most obvious question not asked even if just out of sheer curiosity is the question, what do they look like even though these government witnesses claim that a few of these dead entities are being held in a secret and secure location.
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HAS THIS GREEN LINE BETWEEN POSTS ALWAYS BEEN HERE??!?!?!?!?
Replies: >>11215 >>11226
>>11214
>green line
>little green men
>green reptillian scales
>Ashley's hair and eyes changing colour
Bros...... I think Ashley is........ ssUssss
Replies: >>11216
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>>11215

STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
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>>11214
wtf wait until you see it
WHERE THE FUCK IS ALIEN ANON?
Replies: >>11242
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>>11238
WE HAVE TO SUMMON HIM

ALLIEENNNNNNN ANOOOOONNNNN COME BACK TO THE MOTHER SHIP
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You can't tell me this kind of shit is just a coincidence
Replies: >>11252
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>>11244
The best place to hide something is in plain sight. Things that are hidden out in the open are the most difficult to see.

Pic related, my next summer read.
Replies: >>11253
>>11252
Based Seabee.

>This overall combination composed of religious, financial, and political committees cooperates and co-ordinates with all the other groups to accomplish their ultimate plan which is a one-world government called the New World Order. That plan also entails the creation of a one-world religion, to the exclusion of all others. To accomplish the dual goal of a one-world government and religion, they have already engaged the services of a man who is and will be the Anti-Christ. This book examines these financial, political, and religious combinations and shows the false reasoning they use to deceive us. Also examined is the important role of the media in obscuring the actions of this great conspiracy, allowing them to truly "hide in plain sight."

I see that this book was published in the year 2000. It should be interesting to see what the perspective was like back then, pre-9/11.
Replies: >>11255
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>>11253
There's a revised 2nd edition published in 2010 that covers 9/11. I figure I'll read the first edition and then later I'll read the 2nd edition.




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>>11245
Satanic Baphomet head on the free speech warrior who is ready to brain chip you with neural-link
>>11256
He voted for Biden.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bRkcLYbvApU
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>>11256
bruh
Replies: >>12163
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>>12160
So that's why he's a momma's boy
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>>12163
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>>12163
How does this not freak people out? That's this creepy weirdo's mother. My mom looks like pic related.

>Yeah, he's super trustworthy, totally just a wacky inventor who smokes le weed with joe rogan. He's not a WEF puppet and the progeny of technocrats. Hell I've never even heard of the technocrats, lol. Nothing to see here. Doesn't everyone's mom have a cool H. R. Giger hat??
Replies: >>12172 >>12173
>>12165
Where's the lie?
>>12170
There is symbolism hidden in this pic as well. That 🐓 means your mom likes cock.
>>12170
> H. R. Giger
That's a psuedonym. It's code. Here's a hint:  н is pronounced like an N in Russian 
Replies: >>12175
>>12163
that top left photo is terrifying.
I dont understand what the top and bottom right ones are supposed to convey though?

>>12165
Im going say this whenever my gramps calls me a lazy bum that needs to get a damn job

>>12173
heh TIL
Replies: >>12178
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>>12175
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>>12179
kek it really do be like that tho frfr
Replies: >>12181 >>12184
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>>12180
I am Neutral pessimistic
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2AI6DH7Png
Replies: >>12259 >>12260
>>12180
Not if you keep making the same mistakes
Replies: >>12186
>>12184
Care to extrapolate?
>>12181
means i am a Virgo btw
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TEST
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>Omg it's da joos
They stole the hexagram from platonic solids
>>12205
Christianity took the Dodecahedron
JC @ center 12 apostles
Fun fact: if you take 13 spheres of same diameter and stick them tother 1 is center 12 cover entire surface
Replies: >>12207 >>12217
>>>>12206
>tother 
together
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>>12208
>>12204
>>12205
>>12206
>>12208
>sacred geometry
YWNBAW
Replies: >>12218
>>12217
i don't know this feel
are there any troons in here? do you care to explain? tl:dr version?
Replies: >>12220 >>12221
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>>12218
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>>12218
>>12221
i am virgo sun, aries rising and moon in piace 12th house
Replies: >>12223 >>12235
>>12222
*pisces
>>12221
mars glipht is the male sign gliph
venus is female
Replies: >>12225
>>12224
>glipht 
*Glyph
Replies: >>12226
>>12225
>>12181
i am N -sun
M+ rising
B- moon
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJEYtgxGsQs
Replies: >>12236
>>12181
Im eternally N Uranus
Replies: >>12229
>>12228
NGO, i'm Virgo, anus: output ONLY
I do bidet every day btw
Replies: >>12230
>>12229
>NGO
GNO
too much wine
Astrology 's big 3 don't dox much
Moon is seconds, rising minutes, sun month
wtf https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpzAXQWLkic
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>>12222
I'm scorpio sun, scorpio rising and aries moon in the fifth house. I'm also scorpio venus, scorpio pluto and aries jupiter.
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>>12227
I like Saint Seiya too. That chart seems pretty accurate. That's totally Ashley.
Replies: >>12239 >>12245
>>12235
slow pleanets can dox your year of birth, be careful
>>12235
nice, u a warrior nigga
>>12236
No idea when she was born
Replies: >>12240
>>12239
Me either. I'm just going with my intuition. She'll never have a celebrity birthday at this rate.
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Follow your scorpio nature, take apportunities, travel if you can, follow your feelings
, might have turbolent partner's relatioships
>>12241
>>12235
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1 scorpio gf chimese pls
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>Aries Rising
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>>12236
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>>12181
>>12182
>>12204
>>12205
>>12208
>>12221
>>12235
>>12241
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>>12181
>>12182
>>12204
>>12205
>>12208
>>12221
>>12235
>>12241
Replies: >>12264 >>12269
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>>12259
heh, that was me once. I'm not desperate for anything. I just thought it was interesting someone posted something here about astrology that wasn't me for once.
>>12260
I'm not really that into astrology, although, I do find it somewhat interesting. That's why I refer to it as Babylonian space magic. It was actually a qt girl I used to work with who introduced me to it. Compatibility is mostly bullshit based only on sun signs and nothing else. Any sign can be with any other sign as long as the two people are willing to understand one another's differences and make up for each other's weaknesses. Also, I have never gotten that reaction from a girl after they find out I'm a scorpio. They are usually even more into me afterwards.  I only ever hear black women on YouTube complaining about scorpio men. Yeah, I'm sure him being a scorpio was the actual issue in their relationship. It had nothing to do with either of them acting like niggers. These women are clearly not referring your average white guy, like me. by the way, what do they say about scorpios? I've only ever heard good things.
Replies: >>12268 >>12275
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Watching some of those old, cheesy horror/slasher films this time of the year makes me want to go gunting/camping this Fall. I've always wanted to get a group of people together to go on a road trip somewhere spooky and see where the night takes us. Anyone here done anything similar or have any stories?
>>12264
>Not really into Babylonian space magic astrology
>posts astrology shit
fuck off
Replies: >>12307 >>12312
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>>12259
>>12260
lol i'ts not like that, there isn't much to "believe" in astrology, you either have knowledge of it or don't, it's pretty complex to learn, i can't really read charts yet
>>12259
anyway you always like it ironically, it's a good conversation topic with bitches
Replies: >>12271
>>12270
>anyway you always like it ironically, it's a good conversation topic with bitches
Ah yes, you mean lying .You're no different than those so guys that preach new wave feminism just to get a crumb of puss.
Replies: >>12273
>>12271
Why lie? It's a personality type conversation, what do you want to talk with females? Politics? lole
>>12269
You dont know what "believe" even means you retarded schizo
Replies: >>12278
>>12264
>sun signs and nothing else
pop astro is shit, made a bad name of it for the sake of money, you have to look at it mito poetically to enjoy it imo
Replies: >>12279
>>12269
>you either have knowledge of it or don't, it's pretty complex to learn
Dang kid you're pretty smaaat. You must know how use a cumputah or sumthin'. This kids a fweakin' genius!
Replies: >>12280 >>12281
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>>12274
nigga, what do you mean?
Replies: >>12284
>>12275
Go back to the reddit faggot
Replies: >>12282 >>12307
>>12277
Yes astrology is not for midwits to learn, 115 iq you struggle for sure
>>12277
Make a technology thread nerd
>>12279
are you the reddit expert? rec me some cool subs, i like crackwatch
Replies: >>12287
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>>12278
You know absolutely nothing about anything "spiritual". All of this is bullshit you're using as an excuse to crawl up your own ass.
Replies: >>12286
>>12284
True, i'm not spiritual but religious 
Why do you say this though i am curious
Replies: >>12289
>>12282
https://www.reddit.com/r/astrologymemes/
Behold 114k strong and it won't more than a few scrolls to see the cesspool brainlets like yourself. Hey in fact you might be able to manipulate a few into having sex with them just by telling them what your sign is ironically of course seeing that's how you operate.
Replies: >>12290 >>12310
>>12286
>i'm not spiritual but religious
Explain what you mean by that. In detail.
Replies: >>12290
>>12287
thanks i'll check it later

>>12289
i'm italian
Replies: >>12294
>>12269
why did they have to name one sign Cancer, or did cancer come after Cancer? and if it did why did they name it cancer and not something else instead of calling it cancer because its sucks being Cancer. by that I mean the star sign not cancer, which I have been called cancer before and by that I mean someone called me a cancer but not Cancer the star sign even though if a cute girl asks me my sign and have to sigh and say Im Cancer, and theyre all like no ty i dont want to be with someone who is Cancer and i leave feeling confused because were they calling me cancer or were they calling me Cancer with a capital C and we are talking with our mouths so i dont know if it was Cancer, or cancer the former being the star sign and perhaps some sort of incompatibility with said girl and the latter being someone who is extremely unpleasant and annoying 
ive never had sex
Replies: >>12293 >>12404
>>12292
>>12292
> theyre all like no ty i dont want to be with someone who is Cancer
lol are you uggo?
Replies: >>12295
>>12290
Use the astrology charts for pizza recipes instead
>>12293
No, mother tells me I'm quite the catch.
Replies: >>12297
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>>12295
Stop fumbling the vibe check
>>12268
no u
>>12279
go back to r9k
>>12287
i also like 
https://old.reddit.com/r/internet_funeral/top/?sort=top&t=month
>>12268
triggered little bitch
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Don't fite
Replies: >>12316
>>12315
>ONE HEART
>ONE SOUL
>ONE RULE
>ONE RULER
>ONE GOVERNMENT
SURRENDER YOUR SOUL TO THE WILL OF THE MANY
Replies: >>12317
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>>12316
found the chimese
Replies: >>12323
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Replies: >>12365
>>12317
Chinese pipo are Confucianist and then commies right? Economy is kinda like ours, late cap, but the state sanctions corpos beter
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiaWsgtJrNI
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>>12318
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Jk about astrology, i wanted an excuse to poast these zodiac paintings
Replies: >>12385
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>>12379
Jk about anon being gay, i wanted an excuse to roast Ashley and poast these Ron Jeremy pics
Replies: >>12387 >>12443
>>12385
wtf, didn't know Ron was gay too
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>>12292
>Cancer
Replies: >>12442
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>>12404
>Pisces
>>12385
>>12442
don't post pictures of me without permission, thanks
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>>12442
Unfortunately he's too fat now to suck himself off. It sickens me that this wonderful man has to spend his golden years in prison (actually, they went for the mental health angle, so it'll be an insane asylum) because some literal whores falsely accused him.
Replies: >>12445 >>12531
>>12444
He knew the job was dangerous when he took it
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>>12442
>poasting gay porn
MODS
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>>12446
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>>12446
what's that one astrological sign that looks like two men 69-ing?
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>>12450
>69
>>12446
No gay porno please
Replies: >>12455
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>>12454
I'm actually Italian. This is a picture of my grandfather he's getting gutted like a Pisces
Replies: >>12457 >>12466
>>12450
Ask Zack, he has expertise in that.
Replies: >>12468
>>12455
Wow, you really are gay aren't you? Maybe you should become a rabbi and suck off some toddlers?
Replies: >>12458 >>12465
>>12457
Did someone say toddlers?
Replies: >>12483
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>>12457
>Wow, you really are gay aren't you?
I'm a fagittarius and I think we're compatable. I love astrology and biiiiiig cock<3
Replies: >>12466
>>12455
>>12465
Dudes don't like astrology usually, just go to the gym instead
But gay porn is not /x/ nigga
>>12456
dont drag me into this faggotry filled thread. 
This thread is gayer than your dads times "experimenting" in college.

sorry, Im only kidding.



Your dad couldnt make it into (community) college.


Even with affirmative action.
Replies: >>12533
Why you have to post homo porn on an /x/ thread? Please explain i want to understand
Replies: >>12485
>>12458
I have Apple®️ M2™️for work stuff, all compartmentalized, no homo
Still no /x/ though...
Replies: >>12484
>>12483
*soz i read itoddlers
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>>12474
Homosexuality is paranormal.
Replies: >>12486
>>12485
sure is not normal
i've heard you can ruin your root chakra by playing with uranus
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Moon is in Gemini rn
Is this the paintings thread btw?
Replies: >>12488
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>>12487
>Is this the paintings thread btw?
no
Replies: >>12489
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>>12488
spooky thread?
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America: FUCK YEAH
Replies: >>12518
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZSHrzEYUyU
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At school, we had a dress up day for Halloween.
I went dressed as pic related, my ghost costume. Pretty cool, huh?
It was sooo spooky a lot of the kids and even the parents were giving me looks of shock! They must have thought that i was a real ghost. Awesome huh?!?! 
Some kids were even running away from me crying! For some reason it was mostly the black kids though. Weird.

Anyways, I was spookying everyone so well with my awesome ghost costume, I got sent to the principals office
he was all like "dude, you have to take that off, ok?" and I was like "bro, i cant. Im not wearing any clothes underneath."
I got to wear it for the rest of the school day.

Shit was so cash.
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>>12491
really?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nd7v64mOmo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zq1it-h6Ns
Replies: >>12522
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>>12504
That's scary!
>>12518
forget about Talbans man, it's the current year
Replies: >>12524
>>12522
So what
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmYY-XzZg20
>>12504
*squints*
Is that really you Ashley?
Replies: >>12530
>>12528
go to bed sweetie, it's past your bedtime
>>12444
I like Captain Lou too. Being able to suck yourself off might come in handy behind bars if you didn't have a qt bunkmate like Taz to turn out to get a handy from. You are pretty handy to keep around. I need you to give me a hand right now. I'm too fat to suck myself off too. What's a guy got to do to get some lip service from you so you can come tell me beautiful lies all night. You could use your celebrity status to make a public service announcement for women about saying no to falsely accusing men of sexual assault.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8M8I2SYEiA&list=PLC_wgv_4gQ8UlZO2LuFhDjOloPG1ME_b0
>>12468
That's because my dad had gained admission to your mom. Affirmative action made it easy for a lot of guys to go there.
>>12504
best party of my life i was dressed as "maschera domino": just a black robe and (skull) a mask, kinda like that album cover
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gottem
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bump for nutrition and health <3
Replies: >>12660
>>12656
This is doubly true for the good guys lol ;((((
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Hey kid, wanna hear something spooky?
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>calypso.mp3
Ashley, what did you mean by this?
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why the hallway chirp tho ?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgicoG4L8K0
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Now you are reading this, you must NOT stop. My name is Summer and I am 15 years old. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have no nose or ears. My body is covered with scars. I’m dead. A murderer killed me with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. If you do not post this on 10 other websites, I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that murdered me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are, I WILL murder you. It’s up to you if you re-post this or not, but this is no lie. This is FOR REAL! Your time is running out. Hurry.
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>>13394
I'll see you tonight bitch
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>>13394
Blonde hair and blue eyes, ok so so but no nose and ears now that's a turn on. I'll see you in my dreams doll.
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>>13394
reminds me of the sp00ky chain letters I would get in my email back in the day
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>>13394
Reminds me of the letters the IRS just sent me
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>>13394
Replies: >>13423
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>>13422
Here, have a free topic related "This is a lot like me and TimTom"
Replies: >>13424 >>13443
>>13423
haha yea bro just give your spiritual energy to the reptillian bro
Replies: >>13425
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>>13424
Have some ectoplasm Zak
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It's happening, I can feel it
>>13423
thankyou for the early christmas present Santa!
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hello i am working my way through this
Replies: >>13449
>>13448
>reality manipulation
(you) can't manipulate reality, but demoms can, for a price
Replies: >>13450 >>13453
>>13449
*demons
not your moms.... unless?
>>13449
we'll see. so far its basically CHIM from elder scrolls. idea is that the physical universe is made out of the same "stuff" that your imagination is. So your imagination has power, and if you are able to concentrate your imagination like a lense and project it, then you can manipulate physical reality.
Replies: >>13454 >>13457
>>13453
I know of a simple example where thoughts manipulate your reality. Take the placebo effect. A good summary from Harvard, "The idea that your brain can convince your body a fake treatment is the real thing — the so-called placebo effect — and thus stimulate healing has been around for millennia. Now science has found that under the right circumstances, a placebo can be just as effective as traditional treatments."
Replies: >>13455
>>13454
well being able to manipulate yourself is one thing. self help furus teach self hypnosis, any good sports coach will tell you that you have to visualize. i dont think theres anything supernatural about this type of stuff. but being able to project influence externally is what i am interested in
Replies: >>13456
>>13455
I've heard Zack's really into self hypnosis...
Replies: >>13458
>>13453
>concentrate your imagination like a lense and project it, then you can manipulate physical reality.
Ah yes, schizophrenia
The mind is extremely powerful and being able to focus your mind and visualize can be an extremely powerful too used for all sorts of things, but none of them result in manipulating or projecting influence externally... well except projecting cum 

>>13456
speaking of cum, you might mock me, but Ive actually tried self-hypnosis AND NO ITS NOT SISSY SLUT HYPNO FROM /GIF

...it was...umm *ahem* jackpot.mp3

if you know then you know ;)
Replies: >>13466
>>11256
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/JU5KYjNgEoM
Replies: >>13465 >>13471
>>13464
Я могу убедить себя во многом, но не могу убедить себя в чем-то настолько ложном, как то, что здесь делает Путин.
Replies: >>13471
>>13458
>SISSY SLUT HYPNO FROM /GIF
Uhh, what's that dude? I don't go on /gif/
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>>13464
I don’t know why you are posting this, as if this empty talk means anything.

>>13465
Могу похвалить тебя за попытку написать на русском, но написанное тобой невозможно представить как сформированное предложение человека говорящего на русском, больше как машинный перевод написанного на английском. Но это нормально, в разных языках много специфичных речевых оборотов, которые иногда невозможно перевести. По итогу, для тех кто не владеет полностью языком, приходится писать нечто бессмысленное если переводишь напрямую со своего языка, либо изъёбываться и подбирать нечто близкое по смыслу. Да и по итогу всё равно идеально не получится, тут больше вопрос жизненного опыта, нежели понимания языка, ну это как мне кажется, я могу ошибаться.
Replies: >>13473
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ITS GETTING REALLY SPOOKY IN HERE!!!
>>13471
Извините, вы правы, я использую машину для перевода.
Единственный русский язык, который я знаю, — это слова на моих многочисленных пустых бутылках из-под водки.
Бог благословил.
А еще впечатляющая грудь
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I love it!
>>13468
Those gloves are the same gloves mickey mouse wears
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This is the best book on reality manipulation. It really manipulated 35 million people into buying it, so clearly it works but I don't need no instructions to know how to manipulate myself to Ashley.
Replies: >>13505 >>13555
>>13497
The general idea behind this book isn't as crazy as it sounds, but it's a blatant Neville Goddard ripoff for women from what I understand
Replies: >>13573
>>13497
If that works then why the fuck don't I have a girlfriend yet im converting to islam
Replies: >>13574
>>13505
Yeah and Ashley is just gonna show up on my doorstep, right? I mean, stranger things have happened to me before.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbS9jZOlQjc
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>>13555
It's crazy enough that it just might work.
https://www.pcgamesn.com/the-last-exterminator 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfCZGklcgLc
https://store.steampowered.com/app/811760/The_Last_Exterminator/
>>13574
Finally, I can play with myself while pretending to be ashley without it being gay.
Replies: >>13581
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>>13574
Cool game but
Replies: >>13581
>>13580
FYI both of these >>13577 >>13580 are me but I seemed like I was repeating >>13577's joke which is also me.
Replies: >>13587
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>>12450
>>13581
I think he should call the game The Lass Exterminator. It's about a femcel who can't get a gf so she goes postal Elliot Rodger's style because she thinks women are shit. What's your Duke Nukem name? The other bitch finally settled on Ion Fury but I think we can do better. How about Tuff Titty? Your catch phrase can be, "No nookie, tough cookie."
Replies: >>13589
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>>13587
OC proposal, Jewke Nukem

And this is his catchphrase
Replies: >>13590
>>13589
nah you are
Replies: >>13592
>>13574
I hate the way people write so much.
>We just got a new Duke Nukem game - sort of
>We basically just got a new Duke Nukem game, and you can try it for free on Steam
I want to live in a world where the goal of writing is to communicate a message effectively, clearly, and accurately. All we have now is disingenuous garbage like this. It's not just video game writing, all "news" is like this. Gotta get the clicks, so let's just hammer how much this game is like a recognizable icon (Duke Nukem). I mean we basically just got a new Duke game, right? Let's say that. Don't put anything in the headline about it having FUCKING NOTHING to do with Duke Nukem.
Replies: >>13593
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>>13590
i do be
Replies: >>13594
>>13591
Agreed

Yet their goal is the clicks, of course they are gonna cite something popular that a huge portion of the GaMeR demographic has a soft spot for

Niggas gotta eat
>>13592
Do u luh black ppl?
Replies: >>13595 >>13598
>>13594
He luh jewkkake.
Replies: >>13596 >>13600
>>13595
nah zack do
>>13594
So, is u a lesbeehun? homosexuh?

Amazin
Replies: >>13599
>>13598
Homosexuhuh* that's probably the correct pronounciation
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>>13595
Whuh u mean this? Huhmazin
Replies: >>13620
>>13600
every time I scroll past this image I always think it's a baby diaper with poop on it
Replies: >>13623 >>13629
>>13620
or an open beef burrito, which like all Mexican food is basically a poop filled diaper anyway
Replies: >>13629
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>>13620
>>13623
One sees what one longs for, i guess?
Replies: >>13630
>>13629
I long for Ashley, yet I only see her when I'm hallucinating and she always kicks me in the balls and calls me a sissy
Replies: >>13640
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>wake up
>see this
what do?
Replies: >>13641 >>13666
>>13630
what are the hallucinations induced by anon? 

did any of your parents abuse you?

we're still in time to fix this stockholm syndrome of yours, assuming you want to...

best wishes
Replies: >>13642
>>13632
smile back, go back a mimir

honestly, this is idyllic compared to the daily horrors i'm used to
>>13640
It all started several years ago. I was watching a video of her, she was wearing a blue hoodie and staring into the camera. As she begins to speak, I drift into unconsciousness(I've never seen the whole video). In a vision she appears before me, waving her hand in front of her face:
>You can't see me
then I say
>Yeah I can
and then she says
>No you can't
and then I say
>you lyin
and then shes like
>nah you are
then im like
>what r u doin
and then she hits me with a
>you tell me
so im like
>so you don't know?
and then shes all
>care to masturbate?
*snap back to reality*
gazing down into my crotch, I am stained, and gazing into the screen, Ashley is pleased.
Replies: >>13698
>>13632
insert penis into the eye socket
Replies: >>13699
>>13642
>You can't see me
John Cena Theme Song started playing loudly in my brain after reading this and i couldn't really focus on the rest very well, sounds like a crazy good sonichu episode though!
>>13666
Wouldn't the occipital bone rubbing on your cock feel uncomfortable?
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http://www.whale.to/b/sodomy_q.html

As above, so below...
Replies: >>13720 >>13721
>>13705
>leaked hotel room afterparty photo from Ashley-con 2023
>>13705
NICE
<ASHLEY IS AN MKULTRA VICTIM
<THIS IS A CIA EXPERIEMENT
<YOU ARE BEING NIGGERPOTTED
Replies: >>13755
>>13754
<ASHLEY IS A MOLESTATION VICTIM
<THIS IS A SEXUAL EXPERIMENT
Replies: >>13759
<EAT AT JOE'S
hey ash I'd like to formally apologize for using pinktext/rainbowtext earlier today, I was the first one to use it on the board for a while and unfortunately it apparently made this ^ retard aware of it.
Replies: >>13759 >>13769
>>13758
I'm ashley and I did this one >>13755
yes, I'm actually ashley and I'm just too lazy to namefag to prove it.
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>>13759
>I'm ashley
Go to bed Bandit
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>>13759
>ashley admits to being molested
Replies: >>13766
>>13764
Statistically someone here must have been molested, Ashley or otherwise. Whoever you are, please post your story (be detailed).
Replies: >>13773
>>13759
You should have your therapist check your molesterol levels.
Replies: >>13768
>>13767
Says you, fatty.
just kidding i would honestly die to motorboat those tits. i wanna get you more mcdonalds you fat little slut (•‿•)♡
Replies: >>13923
>>13758
hey senpai I'd like to pathetically apologize for using pinktext/rainbowtext earlier today. I was the best one to use it on the board in a while and fortunately it apparently made you notice <JOE'S.
Shit. I guess they are closed.
Replies: >>13771 >>13772
>>13770
What, your arteries?
>>13770
too bad Chestley, no mommy macdondodorgles for you tonight
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>>13766
If you have never been molested or bitten it means  you are not attractive, sorry
Replies: >>13842
>>13836
Fax
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>>13906
>the fart ghosts
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>>13768
reply to this post or a ghost will get ectoplasm all over your mother's gunt tonight while she sleeps
Replies: >>13927
>>13923
aww nahhhhh
wiht the help of meditation sometimes you can enter in the gooning process a higher level of trance where your reality shifts in a certained direction,for example 2 nights ago i got so lost in the plesaure that i slipped into a alternate timeline where i was gay and totally in love with men, and i could jack off for hours and i wanted to marry him but this dissipated after i came everywhere in my room and i went back to the straight reality and to be clear it doesnt make me gay in any way because this was in an alternate dimension
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What's everyone doing for Friday the 13th? This particular day won't happen again in October until 2028. I think I spent the last one in 2017 playing horror games, but this year I wanna go out and do something like explore abandoned buildings or summon a demon in the woods.
Replies: >>14003
>>13982
probs gonna play the Friday the 13th game (which is just a Dead by Daylight ripoff) with ALL MY COOL FRIENDS! :D
































FINE...










I dont have any friends so, Im gonna watch the Friday the 13th movie since Ive never seen one.

































FINE!!!
IM TOO SCARED TO WATCH SCARY MOVIES OK??!?! GOSH!!!
Replies: >>14018
>>14003
It's pretty boring compared to the other horror legends (Halloween, Nightmare On Elm Street, etc.), but the later sequels are more entertaining.
Replies: >>14019
>>14018
Just got done watching it.
I thought it was pretty good, but maybe because i wasnt expecting much
didnt know freakin Kevin Bacon was in it.
Will check out the later ones too.
I like how older movies do but also dont take themselves so seriously, its hard to explain. Actors look like normal people and not instagram models,so it helps make it believable, plus theres almost no or at most very little colour grading/filter, which COLOUR GRADING IN MODERN FILM PISSES ME OFF TO NO END!!!!!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE , everything is trying to look more polished and not real... idk im retarded


Gonna watch a Halloween movie next.
as for Nightmare on Elm Street, Ive seen one bit and thats the bathtub scene.
Im bringing this up because it reminds me of the bathtub scene in TikTok Tranny heh

oh and if you want to feel like a film snob, go watch the French horror movie "eyes without a face" its pretty good and its in black n white from the 1960s, so it will impress cute film girls or something idk
Replies: >>14020
>>14019
oh also, "Hour of the Wolf" is another one too, MASSIVE BONER POINTS for it being directed by the legendary Ingmar Bergman
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Paranormal don't real 
Get a job nigga pls smh tbh desu
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Sp00ktober is going by fast. :(
Replies: >>14158
>>14153
This whole fucking year has gone by so fast.
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I hate it when pets do this...
Replies: >>16537 >>17685
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It's that time of the year once again bb...
The sink in the break room at work was running water at full blast just now. It's just me and two other people here and I didn't see either of them leave to use the break room. Very strange...
Replies: >>14639 >>24078
>>14635
maybe someone left the tap running???
or your co-workers are fucking with you because they hate you
Replies: >>14716
>>14639
I was the last person to leave the break room before returning to work, the other two guys had just came in after smoking and neither of us left to use the break room until our next scheduled break and that was when I noticed the tap running. I've seen this happen before months ago on the day shift but I assumed it was one of the retarded cleaners forgetting to close the valve after filling up a bucket of water. There's only three of us on the night shift so there's a lot less activity during this time, however there's been strange instances such as machines shutting off and restarting on their own. One time the main power switch on my machine suddenly turned off and it takes a bit of force to physically turn it. Doing something like that as a "prank" is a good way to fuck up the machine and get yourself written up or possibly terminated afterwards, plus it's just common sense not to tamper with machinery for fun. I should've mentioned it to my supervisor and had him check the cameras to see what could've caused that to happened but instead I shrugged it off and restarted it and continued working. Another incident was when another machine turned itself on and one of the parts began moving to try assembling something but faulted out once it realized it was out of sequence with the rest of the machine. 

I remember my old health & safety supervisor telling me a graphic story about a guy who tried injuring himself by purposely getting his finger caught in the machine and ripped off so he could live off disability afterwards. Unfortunately for him that's not how things planned out, when he bypassed the safety curtain and activated the machine after clamping his finger down on the feeding table, he was quickly dragged into the machine and ripped apart inside. Someone ran over and hit the emergency stop but it was far too late by this point and what remained of that worker was a bloody mess for the poor bastards that had to clean it up that day. Since hearing that story I assumed it was the ghost of that worker responsible for all the weird shit happening around the workplace.

Another story which I just learned very recently. There's this girl who works a different shift/department from us and has been with the company for many years, most likely a lifer. Very quiet and keeps to herself but will talk if you put in the initiative. Apparently one day she was going through some shit and decided to try killing herself in the bathroom by tightening a zip tie around her neck. She sent a text message to one of the supervisors saying they'll need to call somebody  in since she'll be dead in the women's bathroom. The supervisor stormed into the bathroom and managed to cut the zip tie off her neck before she lost consciousness. This all went down years before I was hired so I was quite surprised to hear about it just recently after being with the company for quite some time. I feel pretty bad whenever I see her now, pretty grim shit...
>>14716
CLEAN IT UP WAGIE
>>14716
Have you asked anyone about the tap?
You should setup a hidden camera in the break room... and also the womens restroom, that could be spooky because I've heard horror stories about how dirty girls bathrooms are.


And this girl who tried to zip tie herself into death, bro is she cute?
Replies: >>14767
>>14762
I asked them afterwards and neither of them used the sink. 
>And this girl who tried to zip tie herself into death, bro is she cute?
I'm afraid not.
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You guys don't believe in the overpopulation myth, do you?

Feeling crowded yet? The US Census Bureau estimates the world’s population has passed 8 billion
>(insert scary picture of lots of people here)
>The human species has topped 8 billion, with longer lifespans offsetting fewer births, but world population growth continues a long-term trend of slowing down, the U.S. Census Bureau said Thursday.
>The bureau estimates the global population exceeded the threshold Sept. 26, a precise date the agency said to take with a grain of salt.
>The United Nations estimated the number was passed 10 months earlier, having declared November 22, 2022, the “Day of 8 Billion,” the Census Bureau pointed out in a statement.

>November 22, 2022
>11-22-2022
>1+1+2+2 = 6
>2+0+2+2 = 6
>10 months ago, the “Day of 8 Billion,”
>1+8 = 9 (upside down 6)
cute
>>14818
forgot link
https://apnews.com/article/world-population-8-billion-census-159f6eeac66bbc9800ad3ec4d9653b52
>>14818
shouldnt 
>10 months ago, the “Day of 8 Billion,”
>1+8 = 9 (upside down 6)

actually be
>>10 months ago, the “Day of 8 Billion,”
>10+8 =18
>18/2 = 9 (upside down 6)

kinda spooky
Replies: >>14821
>>14820
yeah that works too but typically in numerology the zeroes are removed I think
Replies: >>14822
>>14821
ahh ok, Im bad at numbers

my post formatting got messed up, but you got what i was trying to say
>>14818
Math is gay so none of this concerns me.
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>>14818
>Nah it's ok bro
Replies: >>14839
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>>14834
>the big city I live in feels crowded, therefore everywhere is crowded
>I believe everything the """experts""" tell me
Ever travel across the country before? 99.9% of the United States looks like this. 

The controllers have been using the overpopulation myth for centuries as a means of social engineering. Ever hear of the so-called Malthusian catastrophe? You can read about it in Thomas Malthus' "An Essay on the Principle of Population" where he basically said everyone was going to starve to death because the earth was becoming overpopulated. This was in 1798.

Start looking into the idea of overpopulation and be amazed at how this "fact" we take for granted (after all, you've been indoctrinated into believing it your entire life, just like your parents, your grandparents, your great-great grandparents, and so on) and be amazed at how quickly it falls apart once you take a critical eye to it. If you understand that climate change is bullshit (overpopulation is part and parcel of that scheme) then you should be able to come around to this one too.

There aren't 8 billion people on earth. Here's a thought experiment: imagine that you're the king of some little island country. Let's say that 1 million people live there. Wouldn't it be in your best interest to report to the UN or whoever that your population was higher than it actually was? Say, 5 million? Maybe 10 if you thought you could get away with it? More foreign aid, anyone thinking of taking over your little country would think you had a lot more people/potential defenders, etc. Don't think for a second that the various countries around the world don't inflate their population numbers. 

Hell, this even happens on the county level. Higher population in your county = more state funding for things. You think some backwater county wouldn't inflate their numbers? Of course they would.

Oh, but there's more. For example, you know how the population is exploding in Africa? Well, that's what they tell you, except it's complete bullshit. NGO's who work (scam) in Africa get more money based on the population size they're supposedly helping, so of course they inflate the numbers. There are pilots who fly over swathes of empty, desolate land in Africa where supposedly millions of people live. For instance, go look up the population of Nigeria, then look at recent satellite imagery of the country. Try and figure out where those millions and millions of people are living. They don't exist.

This is why you'll hear that Africa is the fastest-growing (in terms of population) country in the world. It's a literal scam.

Even if there was 8 billion people on earth, which I don't believe for a second, we'd still be a long, long way from being overpopulated. You've probably heard that many people could live comfortably in a state the size of Texas, but I hate that example because of how impractical it is. What matters really is arable land (ie viable farmland) and, depending on who you ask and who you can believe, the planet could probably support something like 40 billion people comfortably.

If you don't want to believe me, maybe you'll believe your pal Elon Musk. He's heckin cool and makes flamethrowers and gets hair plugs and puts cars in space (for real!!). Here he is mumbling his way through why overpopulation is a myth: https://www.bitchute.com/video/KedLdKBVy2Vg/ (of course, he's pushing a different narrative for his masters here, but there ya go)

>tl;dr your stinky crime-ridden city is overpopulated, the rest of the world is doing fine
Replies: >>14840 >>14842
>>14839
You're not the first one I see today to make that argument, any links other than Musk? He just wants more customers the same way the state wants more tax payers imo
Btw i live in a small town in EU, it went from 14k in 2017 to 13.5k in 2021
Replies: >>14841 >>14843
>>14840
>it
*the population
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>>14839
I've heard the same thing, you could fit the entire population of the U.S. into the state of Texas, feasible but impractical but it could be done, especially if new infrastructure was created such as water purification plants, water preservation, waste diposal etc. Hell, you could fit the entire population of the mid east into the country of Afghanistan. Not sure how all those damn hot heads would get along with each other but it could be done.

The U.S. gets one third of its fruits and vegetables from the state of California yet its governmental policies are doing everything to thwart the California farmers such as using land for solar panels. It's the government that wants us to believe there is a population problem and at the same time it is doing everything in its power to make it a self fulfilling prophesy..
Replies: >>14843
>>14840
>You're not the first one I see today to make that argument, any links other than Musk?
I only mentioned Musk as a bit of a joke. I don't recommend taking anything he says very seriously. Anyway, I'm not going to spoonfeed you, go on any search engine other than Google and try looking up stuff like "overpopulation myth". There's tons of resources on this topic. You can formulate your own opinion but I think anyone who gives it an unbiased look will certainly have questions about the whole notion of overpopulation. If you find anything interesting post it and we can continue the discussion.
>Btw i live in a small town in EU, it went from 14k in 2017 to 13.5k in 2021
That's a pretty small sample size obviously but yeah, it's more likely that the world population is declining rather than growing. In fact, you can look up fear-porn mainstream news articles that push this idea too, usually with scary titles like "fertility rates plummeting". Often the same sources will have stories about the dangers of overpopulation. So which is it?

>>14842
>I've heard the same thing, you could fit the entire population of the U.S. into the state of Texas, feasible but impractical but it could be done,
Yeah, something like all of texas with tens of thousands of square miles to spare. But it's more to show how few people (even if you believe their numbers) there really are, not that everyone should actually cram into a space that small. I've seen other stuff where they account for everyone having X amount of land, enough to support a 3-person family and a garden/farm, and it's still a tiny area.

I don't like the example though because as I said it's impractical but also it perpetuates this idea that everyone should be crammed together. The point is that there's more than enough room for us not to be.

TYFYS
Replies: >>14870 >>14875
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>>14843
I just want most people to die tbh, overpopulation is just an excuse, corona chan was such a disappointment
>So which is it?
pic
>>14870
be the changr you want to see in the world anon
Replies: >>14876
>>14843
>Musk 
>110 ML
That video is a deep fake right? I get that is pretty retarded but that's to much even for him, no one in the first world is born outside hospitals nowadays come on
>>14874
i'm not kms fuk u anon
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>>14870
The antihuman sentiment of the environmentalists call for genocide and masquerade it as global virtue.

>>14876
if you're calling for genocide, why don't you put the the barrel of the gun where your mouth is? Because you don't actually believe what you're saying.
Replies: >>14880 >>14882
>>14878
i also want to destroy the environment 
>why don't you put the the barrel of the gun where your mouth is? 
rude >>14876
>>14878
I'll give you a hint; I'm not from the third world, maybe pic helps you if you don't understand?>>14870
If to you anti natalism (wich i recommend to any third worlder) means one wants to commit suicide than you are retarded: no one chooses to come into the world but once you are here the survival instinct is your primary driver, it doesn't exist that you commit suicide unless you have serious mental illness. Quit repeatingt this meme "argument" faggot
>>14882
I'd like to have "anti natalism" btw
But it turns out that the second main drive after survival for humans is sex, have it nigga.
>>14882
I'm retarded but basic logic goes over your head. Got it.

If you're antinatalist, then you're antihuman, simple as. You don't want humans to exist, so keep population replacement number in the red.

You're a step away from calling for a genocide. You're no different than Bill Gates implying that the third world needs to be forced to use birth control to keep population numbers down.
Replies: >>14885
>>14884
No, i was explained to you why anti-natalism is a meme, you are offended i get it but tomorrow it will be clear
Bill Gates is the most based feeding them poop water and vaccines. I use windows 11 enterprise btw alpha channel
Replies: >>14886
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>>14885
forgot pic, i'm a little tipsy x)
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It's all a personal jihad
Me against my brother, me and my brother against the town, the town against the nation, the nation against the world.
>>14876
no i mean kill other people then yourself treat other the way you would want to be treated
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>>14893
>golden pill unlocked
I try my best
>>14882
> the survival instinct is your primary driver
yeah maybe if youre a little bitch nigger with no sincere convictions or beliefs lmao you are a coward
Replies: >>14896
>>14895
Instincts come before any convictions, who do you think you are?
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>>14896
fear is an instinct if you wouldnt die for your beliefs you are a sissy
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>>14897
talk is cheap
Replies: >>14899
>>14898
...and so are beliefs, if yuo have faith that's another story
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Going to sleep btw GN & GL
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>>14273
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Last one 
I believe in all the things in the images that i've posted frfr
GN
Replies: >>16597
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>>16561
BN
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What stage of awakening is Ashley Jones in?
Replies: >>17442
>>17435
I’d say 4.
Replies: >>17443
>>17442
This is what I thought too. 4, slowly but surely making her way to 5.

Personally, I'm somewhere around a 3.5. I'll end up at 5 I'm sure, never quite making it to 6.

6 seems nice.
Replies: >>17444 >>17448
>>17443
IMO I’m a 6.
I used to feel to Fd up when I started to see how every fact is distorted or a complete lie but the. i was like fuck it. That shouldn’t make me worry. I’ll look up things for myself by seeking alternative sources.>>17443
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>>17443
>>17444
I used to think I was a 6 before becoming 5. Not sure if 6 is a real thing.
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>>14273
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Letter “from Hell” sent by unknown British serial killer known as Jack the Ripper to a Mr. Lusk. Head of a committee of people who tried to capture the assailant. This letter was sent along the half eaten kidney of one of the murdered prostitutes.
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Anons, why does god do this?
Replies: >>18351 >>18367
>>18350
>God created man
>God shows his mercy and kindness to people
>God shows signs to man of Him being a supreme being through his angels and prophet
>God give a set of rules for mankind to follow in this mortal life.
>People disobey and mock God and kill his messengers.


Anon, I'd be pretty pissed too if someone did that to me.
Replies: >>18356
>>18351
Yeah but if you want your creations to obey your every whim, why not just make them that way to begin with? You're god, you're omnipotent. Seems childish to me.
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>>18356
Without free will, there'd be no humanity and no progress.
Think what you just said for a moment and imagine a world without freewill. It's just a big machine; dull, heartless, soulless.
Just creatures performing tasks. Would you want to live that life?

Your wording is very subjective
>you want your creations to obey your every whim

God isn't asking much in return for the life he has given us. Just a set of rules which I think are clearly justified. Take the Ten Commandments for example. Whenever I think of them I come the realization that God inscribed them on the tablets for Moses because clearly people were committing these atrocities against each other. Why else would God give these specific commandments if people weren't disobeying him.
Replies: >>18365
>>18360
>Be God
>Be omnipotent, omniscient, all-powerful, and all-knowing
>Be the Alpha and Omega
>Make some rules for your little creations to follow
>Write your rules on stone blocks and give them to some old man on a mountain
makes sense
>>18350
Why ask about this on a shitpost board? If you serioulsly want answers to questions like that then go ask a priest about it. They won't immediately rape you if you call then like Ashley and there's plenty of educated theological perspectives from several denominations for you to wrap your head around.
Replies: >>18368 >>18372
>>18367
Ashley knows theology as well?
Replies: >>18369
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>>18368
nah she knows semenology
>>18367
>Why ask about this on a shitpost board?
I wasn't aware that it was just a shitpost board. Why are you getting butthurt anyway? Aren't these fairly basic questions? You'd think any believer could answer them, not a "special" one like a priest or whatever.
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>>18372
take the banana out your ass
Replies: >>18375
>>18374
That's imaginary, just like the Bible
Replies: >>24076
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The astronomer, Carl Sagan, knew far more than he ever made public and indeed he spent much of his career guiding people away from the truth. But his knowledge of the true situation occasionally came through, as when he said that: "...it does no good whatsoever to ignore the reptilian component of human nature, particularly our ritualistic and hierarchical behaviour. On the contrary, the model may help us understand what human beings are all about."

He adds in his book, The Dragons Of Eden, that even the negative side of human behaviour is expressed in reptilian terms, as in cold-blooded killer. Sagan (the name in reverse spells the East Indian reptilian gods, the Nagas) clearly knew the score, but chose not to reveal openly what he knew.

As the human foetus is forming into a baby it goes through many stages which connect with the major evolutionary points in the development of the present physical form. These include connections with non-primate mammals, reptiles and fish. There is a point in which the embryo develops gills, for example. The human embryo is very much like those of birds, sheep and pigs until the eighth week when it goes its own evolutionary way.

Occasionally the genetic instructions fail to remember the latest script and some babies are born with tails. These are called caudal appendages and form in the lower lumbar region. Most are immediately removed by doctors, but in some poorer countries where such medical support is not available, there are people who live their whole lives with tails. Pheromone is the substance secreted and released by animals so they can be detected by members of the same species. The pheromones in human women and iguanas are a chemical match.

Source: David Icke's The Biggest Secret, 1999
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https://youtu.be/5q8KNh3Wf5o?si=Win_NMqKC4gmxYTN
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>>18375
The Bible is a real book.
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>>24061
I think you’re a clown.
Replies: >>24097
>>14635
>>14716
I saw a cart move on its own at work! I was heading to the bathroom and one of the carts near me moved! It had plenty of metal parts sitting on top of it so it would require a bit of force to move it. I noticed one of the cameras in the area where this happened so I wrote down the time of the incident and reported it to my supervisor the next day. He told me he won't be able to inspect the footage until later this weekend. When I told him what happened, along with the previous stuff I already mentioned on here, he didn't seem to be in any disbelief since he apparently had strange incidents of his own while working in the basement ie; hearing odd noises, things moving, etc. The other guy I work with mentioned he would sometimes see things move in the corner of his eye, but then again he's also a bit of a pothead so he was probably stoned that night. However, he told me about one of the machines starting up and attempting to run on its own one night, my supervisor confirmed this to be true since he was there when it happened. I'm worried about doing any minor maintenance tasks on the machines since "something" might restart it while I'm inside and kill me. Performing a full lock out tag out procedure for minor jams and light cleaning would be an overkill but I'd rather waste time than get wasted by a ghost.

ANYWAYS, I'll keep you guys updated. I would post footage here but I don't like the idea of showing my place of work either. Maybe I'll send it to Ashley in exchange for a private video *wink wink*. Hopefully the footage is damning enough to prove that my workplace is indeed haunted and that I'm not losing my mind.
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>>24077
But you do think of me
Replies: >>24109
>>24078
>I'm worried about doing any minor maintenance tasks on the machines since "something" might restart it while I'm inside and kill me.
I heard some story of a guy who had to go inside a kayak mold machine room that heats up to likely thousands of degrees to heat up the plastic. Anyways, as he was in there (everything as off and cooled), an employee didn't know the guy was in there and hit the button to start up the kayak molding process. There wasn't a safety switch on the inside of the molding room, so the guy melted to his death. Anyways, I'm paranoid of weird things and if some faggot ghost is trying to spook me, I'm not going to trust him while I'm in some deadly machine.

I've wondered for a long while how many ghosts are responsible for deaths. Maybe someone dies of a "heart attack", but it was actually some sort of intentional psychic attack. I've heard of numerous stories where people say they've been choked or had intense painful pressure put on their back during sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis victims usually see some sort of black figure or demon-looking creatures during the paralysis.

Requesting you make your own Spooky Searchers episode at your workplace. Def sounds super sussy bussy sauce tbh no cap
Replies: >>24128 >>24130
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>>24097
I don’t know who you are. I was just kidding.
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>>24078
>>24100
Dude, there was a guy cooked alive in a pressure cooker at the Bumble Bee Tuna plant. So what if like ghosts don't know they are disembodied spirits and they don't perceive reality the way we do. They are in a dream-state and have no peripheral vision or situational awareness and can't figure out why things aren't working correctly like how when you attempt to interact with things in your dreams but it's all wonky. Maybe poltergeists are just ghosts trying to figure out why they can't simply open a door or something and then they become angry and end up slamming the door. Maybe tossing shit around the room is them throwing a tantrum because they are frustrated with their situation. Imagine waking up and not being able to interact with the inanimate objects around you as you once did. Like trying to turn a door knob but having no grip strength as if your hand fell asleep. That's why things get tampered with. An object being slightly pushed until it falls off the table is a ghost attempting to interact with the object but failing until they accidentally push it onto the floor. They may become angry afterward and begin knocking everything onto the floor. When you speak to a ghost, it's like schizophrenia to them. They have no idea where the voices are exactly coming from. They can't see you and don't know you can see them when they appear but they can see you when you can see them. It's like we're haunting them. I was thinking about haunted places and what happens when these places no longer exist. Where do the ghosts go? When you're dead, everything continues to change but you stay the same as time goes on and you either move on or continue to haunt a place that you will eventually have no memory of that has lost all meaning to you. Imagine haunting the home you died in for years but it gets torn down and you wake up on an empty plot of land where nothing seems familiar to you. Other than simply not wanting trespassers in their home, this may be why ghosts can be so violent in their hauntings. They are attempting to keep things the way they were. The way they remember them.
Replies: >>24129
>>24128
ok, how you know?
Replies: >>24165
>>24100
>Anyways, as he was in there (everything as off and cooled), an employee didn't know the guy was in there and hit the button to start up the kayak molding process.
>There wasn't a safety switch on the inside of the molding room, so the guy melted to his death
>I'm not going to trust him while I'm in some deadly machine.
so he is still employed?

how the fuck wasnt this person fired?
Replies: >>24138
>>24130
If I recall the two people were related. I think it was his dad he accidentally killed. They ended up suing the people who created the kayak molding device because there was no internal safety switch, and now in the UK such things are regulated so it won't happen again. The guy probably wasn't fired since it was an accident and he was dealing with the grief of killing his dad, but I imagine he wouldn't want to continue working at the place where he killed his father.

I think I heard this from the Mr. Ballen channel. He covers a lot of spooky and insane stories.
>>24129
I don't. Its an educated guesstimate.
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What's everyone's take on the infamous Amityville Horror house? Was it legitimately haunted or was it all a bunch of made up horseshit by the parents and their colleagues to profit from book publishing deals and films?
>>25956
most likely bullshit used to make money off of.
I dont think ghosts can be seen by humans and they cant be captured on camera either
Source: Im a ghost
Replies: >>26031
>>25956
I think there's a theory out there that our brainwaves can induce supernatural events in a heightened state and it compounds with more people. Ghost hunting is pretty stupid because placebo or not, it's a net negative to subject yourself to a nefarious phenomenon. Self induced psychosis is possible. I mean how hard would it be to believe you've been possesed and not take responsibillity for shit. I cut people off on the highway and blame it on my demons personally. I didn't do it, it was my nigga a̴͎̦͕͊͛̈́l̴̦̠͕͛͘k̴̢̘̿͝j̸͎͓͍͊͆f̵̡͖͛͠͝ḯ̵͖͎͆͆o̸̪͍͓͋̐̈́e̸̙̼̪̾̾͛
Replies: >>26031
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>>25956
>>25989
>>26006

what about inanimate objects from recently deceased relatives?
Ive been needing a new pillow for awhile now and turns out my grandma who died a few months back, we have her pillow and tonight Im going to be sleeping on it for the very first time.

do I need to sleep with my 25cm Pokemon LED Snorlax night light from Teknofun turned on?
Replies: >>26041
>>26031
Personification of physical objects are for the weak, but she's probably haunting her vibrator in her bedside drawer. Once you free her from the dildo you get 3 wishes. You can use this in a skit Ashley I give you permission.
Replies: >>26043
>>26041
Oh gosh if someone is using a vibrator grandma age then misses pussy must be dead
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Three sons are asking their fathers about death. Here are their conversations:

Boy: What happens when you die?  
Christian Dad: You go to heaven, and meet Jesus and God Almighty. It's a wonderful place where everyone is happy and has everything they need, forever.

Boy: What happens when you die?  
Atheist Dad: Nothing. You simply cease to exist. But don't worry, son. It's not scary or painful. It isn't anything, because it's nothing.

Boy: What happens when you die?  
Based Knower Dad: Son, you're a little young for this -- well, not really, HAH! -- but I'll try and explain things in a way you can understand. When the body you're currently inhabiting dies, your awareness returns to its natural state of totality, where you'll realize there is no individual you, or me, or mom, or the dog. You're simply speaking to yourself right now. It's all just you, an infinite conscious presence that is both everything and nothing all at the same time. All alone. And it never ends.
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> I originally posted this as a new thread and was met with the reply "we have a paranormal thread already. doesn't anyone read the catalog anymore" -- bruh this thread is called parcopresis and if I did not use 4chan I would not have known that /x/ means paranormal

> I tried emailing Ashley about this but she never got back to me, so I am posting here for the first time. whaddup niggaz

After reading Ashley's manifesto I started looking into near death experiences. Another youtuber I watch was also frequently mentioning how fascinating he found them so I decided to look into it. As Ashley said in her manifesto, it does make me want to be a be a better person and my fear of death has lessened significantly after hearing the consistencies in reports. Furthermore, were these experiences just illusions in the mind, it would not matter to me, as it would be reality regardless.

One thing I find interesting is the Soul Recycling section in Ashley's manifesto. She does not really go into the concept, and the only inkling of a source for the concept I have encountered about it is picrel. My main question is: 
> If the heavenly realm described in NDEs is real (as in it is experiences and perceived as heavenly)
> AND the heavenly realm is actually a facade created by demonic forces/entities (I guess working for the Demiurge)
> AND the purpose of the demonic forces/entities is to trick you to go into the light so you will be born again on Earth and continue samsara
> HOW will you determine whether or not these forces are demonic
> IF you determine they are demonic, how are you going to avoid going into the light?

I think we need to assume that you are in a complete state of naivety and that all information you are gathering in this realm is working against you. With all of that in mind, idk what other option there would be but to go into the light. I guess complete disobedience may result in a different outcome, but are you willing to risk an eternity of torment?

I believe in God and I am a Catholic, but I am very open minded and believe we really do not understand what is going on here. All I know is that God is Reality, Reality is God, Jesus understood that and tried to convey it. I know this instinctively. 

> also not here to argue about my religion, I just put it here for context.
Replies: >>29463
>>29460
I was just editing old terrible threads to have better OPs and this was one I was working on as you bumped it. I agree, this thread is terrible and hard to find if you want to discuss anything /x/ related. I've wanted to fix this thread for a long time (so good timing) but since it's near a bump limit, I'm not moving these posts to the new thread. Instead, I'll post your post in the new thread.
Replies: >>29466 >>29470
>>29463
thanks!
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>>29463
I started this thread for Halloween. Why wait two years to fix it then? Were you scared shitless because of parcopresis?
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