/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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>>25665
Shit like this is why we don't have girls on the board more often dude

>>25664 (OP) 
I have a jar that I catch spiders in when I see them crawling on the wall when I'm at my computer or in bed. I don't think spiders deserve to die simply for existing, but I do think that they need to be punished for disturbing my peace. I sometimes leave them in the jar for anywhere from 15 minutes to overnight depending on how gross they are. I like to think that while my eight-legged prisoners are in the jar, they have an opportunity to think about what they've done and to consider new living arrangements. After their term is up I toss them out the window and sometimes say things like "get your shit together" or "I hope you've learned your lesson." I really do this.

>>25665
FUCK YOU!!!
So is Ashley even fucking real???!!!

>>25665
Can you make her say that Matthew is a really great guy? I need to send this to my mom so she thinks I have a gf. Have her say anything that will make me look good.

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>>25664 (OP) 
Microchimerism absolutely disgusts me but I don't think I'll ever be able to get a young virgin gf and this depresses me greatly

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>>25684
Just fuck women like how Genghis Khan did.
A young "virgin" gf has not experienced virginal sex, but she might have had anal and/or oral sex with one or many men eg. Duke Nukem. So microchimerism would still have taken place within her body. Just ask Ashley.

>>25664 (OP) 
When I was a teenager, maybe 13. I was going to attempt and lose my virginity to one of my Sister's dolls. I believe it was a Life Sized Barbie or similarly sized doll. It was a few days before school ended for the Summer and everyone was out picking up a new AC at Sears but I didn't want to go because I had a sexual rendezvous ro attended to. I found the doll and brought it to the garage to modify it for my pleasure first using a box cutter "which I ended up breaking" and a drill. Unfortubately, due to the age of the doll it ended up shattering the entire backside leaving it unusable. I then threw it in back of the garage where it sat for several years. My sister never even noticed it was missing.

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>>25684
Interesting read. I wonder how many white women have have passed on dog DNA to their children.

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>>25692

Once upon a time I touched myself and ejaculated in a hot tub. The four men and the two women together with me in the hot tub were unaware of what I did. Or so I thought.

>>25664 (OP) 
6 years ago I bought literal shit from LoveRachelle2. I'm not sure why. I'm not a scat fetishist or anything. I guess it was just sheer curosity. She had many items for sale including shit filled twinkies and cookies which were like 20 bucks but i wanted the full experience so I bought a load of her shit for 100 bucks. When in rome, amiright?  It took longer than expexted to arrive and when it did arrive i was pleasantly surprised at how well packaged it was and the feces was immaculate condition. I opened it outside and I'm glad i did because it was quite potent and i almost threw up. I then had instant regret about what Indod and thew it in the outside trash where in sure it provided an esquite meal for the flies.

>>25684
I can find papers speculating on the uterosome role, I have no clue how I'm supposed to find the "recent" Spanish telegony study, and I wonder why the article or blog post that this is clearly from didn't just name or link it since it is what they establish over 3 paragraphs of text on the basis of.

I haven’t mast debated in over a month (no jizz June cause fuck all that sexual deviancy) and I mast debated to a picture of my crush today I feel a bit guilty

>>25665
silly anon! Just ask me me :3 and yeah butt stuff is weird and gay a not buttered toast is a oh kay

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>>25974
If that's really you, femanon, you should read me the following. And post more pics because I'm not sure how I'm going to cum tribute an mp3.

Hey baby, welcome home from work. Did you have a good day? O-oh, not so great? You only made a quarter of a million dollars trading stocks, AND you had to skip the gym because your personal trainer said that you're getting TOO good looking and muscular? Wow, baby, that must be rough. It's all right, why don't you come over here and lay down. I'll take care of you. Yes, just like that, lay down on the couch and rest your head in my lap. Now, sweet baby, open wide for me, okay? [You should make spitting noises at this part] Mmm, don't you just love it when I baby bird you my sweet saliva? What's that, honey? It's not that sweet? Well, I did have garlic risotto for lunch today. But that's what makes your favorite farts, remember? Here, my wonderful man, just rest your head on the pillow right here. I'll stand up, just like this, and take my pants down. There we go. Oh, my, I really did have a lot to eat today. Are you ready, baby? Here you go. [Now do farting noises.] Mmmm, yes, you like that, don't you? [More farts.] Oh, oh jesus, I'm so sorry. That was a little bit of poopie that came out, wasn't it? What's that, honey? You don't mind? Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. You're so good to me. Now, let's go wash up and have dinner together. I made a lovely batch of bratwurst and sauerkraut that you're just going to love... especially when it comes out of me later.

>>25975
really? You really like that shit huh? This is the confession thread you know why not confess what daddy did to you to make you this way, or are you jus tryin get some shits n giggles

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>>25976
Yessssss bully me more

>>25975
>>25976
NTA but I think this would be fucking hilarious with your cute voice. DO EET

>>25982
I'll upload it later :3

I

confess

to

getting

this >>26000

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>>25984

>>25975
heeyy fags Fantastic, Amazin Guys! Sorry this sucks .-. but here it is 
https://voca.ro/1cN11eg2uRx0

>>26042
Ashley seems to be mocking me with an ai generated gender swap of myself. This is an honor. Feel free to tribute me.

>>26042
DO VIDEOS

>>26042
>>26044
>>26045
DO CUM TRIBUTE VIDEOS

>>26046
Someone's going to do the feet. Calling it now.

>>26042
I want this recording to be used as evidence in court against your statutory rapist

>>26049
nooo and if that happened I would never tell anyone I’m loyal

>>26042
>no timestamp
/yourwrists

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>>26049
social purity movement roastie detected

>>26050
Based tub gurl. I'm the anon who originally requested the audio. Thank you for fulfilling my request.

I think >>26045 is a good idea. You should do a comedy video like Ashley and post it to the board.

>>26051
aye aye captain

>>26059
>ashelyj/
This made my night

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>>26051
did I do it right?

>>26042
What's with zoomers wearing the Bass Pro Shop hats? I've seen like 5 zoom-zooms don them on their broccolli mop. Like 10 years ago people would wear something like this ironically, but it seems to be an unironic fashion trend today. I don't like how unironic you teens have become, must be the unfilterable birth control in the water supply from womens pee.

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>>26060
bless her heart

>>26059
I also vote for videos, just talk about Ashley or something. Or like put lotion/spit on your feet and rub them together while doing mommy roleplay ASMR. You know, whatever. 

>>26062
They're still ironic. It's jut a funny hat, grandpa. You're right about the broccoli mop though.

>>26059
I wanna smell your fingers

>>26065
I bet they reek like pumpernickel spice hand soap

>>26059
>>26061
Why can't these bitches ever write between the lines? I have got just the thing for them. https://www.dollartree.com/manuscript-tablets-60-sheet/801118

I'm going to need you both to stay after class for tutoring. I only have one pencil so you'll both have to share.

>>26067
Writing a timestamp between the lines is some weird shit Mark Zuckerberg would do in an attempt to look human

>>26068
says the robot

>>26067
Autism. I wouldnt expect autists who cant read between the lines to be able to write between the lines either.


Confession: I like the Pro Bass trucker caps and would wear one if they werent popular amongst zoomers

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I only ever see black people wearing those bass pro shop hats. I rarely ever see black people in there. Ngl, Ashley would look qt wearing one of those hats. She should get one and wear it while doing a let's play of that black bass fishing game she likes... even though she thinks let's plays are dumb. Would be pretty fun to watch her play a fishing game with a fishing rod controller.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=pFnJTmSIHWk

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>>26042
Loonassoftfeet

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>>26072
I'd rather eat the dookie out of a skunk and shoot heroin into my stinker than watch a let's play

>>26075
I hope she does a lets play now because I would want to see you do that

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>>26050
Sorry but I cant help you. 
heh, nothing personal kid :3 

I only nut to either the most unhappy and desperate of house wives or the desperate MILF who is struggling to provide a future for the their pathetic mistake of an offspring. 
Either or gets me off, it doesnt matter. though clearly of which you are none.


try again in a few years

*tips fedora and vape bombs into a higher intellectual existence*

>>26092
Damn son, Derrick's Mom, I get it. But Linda laughing at you? That's a challenge mode a little too difficult for us regular guys.

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>>26042

>>26059
Can you make a video pls

>>26104
kek

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>>26042
Damn, I cummed so hard on your mp3.

>>26109
It’s was a joke alright not seriously but neato if that’s true I’m glad I made someone feel something

>>26110
Frfr, I put your mp3 on a loop, put on a headphone and turned up the volume, then I masturbated. It was a great experience.

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>>26111
Sir that is a LITERAL CHILD. If you are being for real for real no sussy bussy sauce, I'm gonna need you to take a seat.

>>26113 huh am I 5 no I don’t know what your talking about then

>>26113
But Sir, I listened to an audio and literally cummed on an mp3 file, is that a problem?

>>26115
Yes because you didn't record it

>>26114
video when???

>>26117
Sometime okay I promise :3

>>26118
Sometime tonight, cool, can't wait!

>>26110
Go make a nice autistic boy happy instead of posting on internet

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>>26120
My son is real lonely. He could use female company.

>>26118
Hey how come you haven't posted a video yet?

>>26136
She's not real you dumb kpop fan.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I love word filters!

Kpop fan bitch cunt faggot kike

>>26136
It's on my OF! Pay up faggot! :3

>>26139
omahgah no frick you

I want to shave off Ashley's armpit hair and make it into a moustache so I can smell it forever.

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>>26138
wtf ash

>>26155
Being a black K-pop fan can be a unique and complex experience. While K-pop has gained immense popularity worldwide, the genre’s cultural appropriation and problematic behavior towards black people have been a subject of concern for many black fans.

Challenges and Harassment

Black K-pop fans have faced harassment and bullying online, with some even being doxxed and threatened with the release of their personal information. This has led to a sense of fear and vulnerability among black fans, who often feel like they are not welcome in the K-pop community.

Cultural Appropriation

The K-pop industry has been criticized for its cultural appropriation of black culture, with some groups incorporating black hairstyles, fashion, and music styles into their performances without proper credit or understanding. This has led to feelings of frustration and resentment among black fans, who feel that their culture is being exploited for the benefit of others.

Support and Solidarity

Despite these challenges, there are many black K-pop fans who have found a sense of community and solidarity within the fandom. These fans have come together to share their experiences and support one another, creating a space where they can feel seen and heard.

Breaking Down Barriers

The K-pop industry has also made efforts to address these issues, with some groups and idols releasing statements of support for black lives and acknowledging the importance of cultural sensitivity. This has helped to break down barriers and create a more inclusive environment for black fans.

Conclusion

Being a black K-pop fan can be a complex and challenging experience, but it is also a powerful expression of fandom and cultural identity. By sharing their stories and experiences, black fans are helping to create a more inclusive and diverse K-pop community, where everyone can feel welcome and valued.

>>26146
I want to shave off Ashley's armpit butt hair and make it into a moustache so I can smell it forever.

>>26162
blah blah blah
tl;dr

>>26164
Didn't read or couldn't read, kpop fan?

>>26155
KEK based

i dont get what calling someone a k-pop fan means :(

>>26224
You have to be a racist to find out

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>>26118
>waiting for the tub gurl to make videos
Guess I'll just jerk off to NOTHING tonight, thanks a lot.

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Ive never seen a more relatable webm

Has anyone here ever jacked off to a tranny? If yes, please answer these questions
>How/why did you beat off to a tranny?
>Did you regret it?
>Have you done it again?
>Do you consider yourself gay?
>Post pic of the tranny

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>>27256
>>How/why did you beat off to a tranny?
I was horny.
>>Did you regret it?
No.
>>Have you done it again?
Yes.
>>Do you consider yourself gay?
I'm straight but so is spaghetti until it gets hot.
>>Post pic of the tranny

>>26713
I knew what was gonna play and yet i still clicked

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I don't even know how to begin. I'm so heartbroken over this, I cried. A tree fell on my roof during a storm several nights ago and it blew out my ceiling. Rainwater pooled in the ceiling causing more of it to collapse drenching my living room. There is an old office desk that I inherited from my great-grandfather where I do most of my work at and it held my family photos. Water somehow managed to seep into the drawers and they are utterly ruined. My grandmother gave them to me before she died and they were all I have left of my family. Literally, all those moments are lost in time, like tears in rain.

>>27305
wow thats horrible news anon.
Im sorry that happened.

did you have any digital copies at all?

>>27259
I wanna stick my nose into those black boots and inhale the smell of her sweaty feet. And who can resist her tight little butthole? I cummed so hard just looking at that photo, in an orgasmic climax, HNNNG!

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>>27311
Bro did you read what he wrote? You just cummed to a tranny

My cat ran out the door last night. It hasn't been back. Someone has her in their house or she is stuck somewhere. I am so so sad and angry this has happened. If she is stolen by knee gores I will fucking go white boi crazy and havta shoot a kneega

>>25664 (OP) 
I use arrow keys in vim

this one time, i opened 2 threads in separate tabs and got the SAME /ashleyj/ banner in each tab!

I was so happy about this that, when i was watering my azaleas, i exclaimed to my neighbor whose name was, lets say for intensive purposeless was DeShawn Johnson, that i had had just gotten two of the exact same /ashleyj/ banners by opening 2 threads in separate tabs and he was all like "THAT IS IT [REDACTED] IM FED UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT AND IM FUCKING CALLING THE COPS IVE HAD ENOUGH" so then i went inside my trailer and loaded up https://tubgurl.com/ashleyj/thread/25664.html#postform to post this but I have to go now because MY FUCKING NEIGHBORS FUCKING FUNERAL IS ABOUT TO FUCKING COMMENCE LET6S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>27741
Let me guess, you won the lottery too? I don't believe you. No one here has that kind of luck.

I have never told this to a single living soul until now. I recently had a really vivid dream about raping my dad. I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK MY DAD. I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO MY DAD. I have no idea why I dreamt that but I still feel weird about it. Did I psychically rape him in the dream world?

>>27785
Sounds like you have a controlling father and instead of actually attempting to escape him as most would do, you desire to overpower him so he can share your fear and shame. It's okay, Ashley. I'll be your daddy. You can rape me all you want.

>>27785
BASED

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>>27369
Pussy status update?

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>>27949
Jesus Christ... i meant to post a cat related webm but unfortunately posted the wrong one. That was wildly inappropriate of me, my apologies anon

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>>26118
>>26250
video, when?

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I lied to my landlord by telling them I was sick with COVID to avoid a unit inspection because my place hasn't been cleaned in weeks and it smells awful since I've been having the smelliest farts lately. If my landlord wasn't a milf I would've let them enter but I didn't feel like starting my Monday with a humiliation ritual.

>>27959
You have the wrong idea. She would get so moist the moment she enters your fart haven. Your manly musks will invigorate her woman biology and make her want to fuck the seed out of you.

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This is fucking atrocious
I really hope Ashley dies before she becomes an old hag!

>>27983
That’s not a real picture of her you dip.

>>27993
duh, that's why I said it's better for her to die young before she becomes an old hag

>>27983
Newfags are such pussy bitch faggots, Ashley will be the hottest gilf on the block and I the craigslist man will be tending to her garden while her husband is away

>>28008
t. Ashley

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>>27983

>>28010
My perfect underage looking jailbait tomboy wife should always look like a young boy or die before she ruins God's perfection! And that's a hill I'm willing to die on!!

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This black chick asked for my number at the gym yesterday and instead of lying about already being in a relationship I gave it to her just to be polite but now I regret it because now she's messaging me and wants to workout together but I find interracial relationships/race mixing appalling so now I'm considering ghosting her and changing gyms or working out at the crack of dawn so we don't run into eachother. She is pretty, fit and nice but I have no desire being with a black person.

>>28035
bro, youre not going to marry her are you? Just fuck her brains out and move onto the next girl. 
If she bothers again during your lmao2plate front loading hack squat... fucking hell, just squint and pretend you didnt hear her with your headphones blasting I Am Machine by Three Days Grace.
Imagine changing gyms because ur an omega faggot who couldnt lie to a black bitch about already having a girl.

>>28035
marry her chuddie

>>28036
I'll just tell her I'm gay.

>>28035
Today I met an aryan woman with blonde hair, blue eyes and a nice face at my workplace. I am not going to talk to her because I don't know if she is perfect albeit

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>>28043
If she also has pink nipples and a pink butthole, then she is perfect. And there's only one way to find out.

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>>28039
I've had this problem as well. I don't sleep around because I don't want to ever be put in the position of having to admit to it or lie about it to the girl I actually want to be with which is funny considering the majority of women are self-conceited whores who would give you shit for sleeping with one other girl even though they themselves have a body count higher than a serial killer's. Most guys will buy a girl a gift thinking that it will make her like them so I tried a different approach by letting girls interested in me buy me gifts but I didn't expect that girls would be just as bad as guys when it comes to expecting sex for something they bought you. This approach doesn't work because all these girls move on to the next guy who will simp hard for them. Most men don't move on from the girl they like and will simp for them forever. I guess I kind of just want someone I can tolerate who actually likes me and would be willing to stay around. I recently bought a girl something and she seemed to take it as that even though I was merely reciprocating for all the money she had spent on me. It actually upset me that she could buy me gifts but if I reciprocate, she would take it as if I was trying to impress her just to sleep with her. The other thing is women are too easily influenced by opinion. A woman will ask another woman for relationship advice even though the other woman doesn't have her best interest in mind. It just goes to show you how gullible women are to other women who are envious of them ever being in a successful relationship which makes up the majority of the femishit movement. That and the weasels who support them who believe talking bad about the guy they like will actually somehow make the girl want to have sex with them. I'm pretty much exhausted with women. Talking with women feels like talking to a phone scammer. I don't even respond to them anymore. I'm just tired of dealing with their coercion attempts. When you share things like this, all you ever get is some guy telling you just have sex, bro. I don't crave sex. I just want to be with someone who isn't indifferent towards me. I don't care marriage either. Marriage seems like two convicts chained together trying to escape a prison.

>>28054
I havta shit muh pants. I didn't read this

>>28054 was meant for >>28035

So I just had my first sex dream with Ashley...

It was like nothing I've ever experienced before and I regularly have lucid sex dreams. It was this super intense, extremely loving/sensual experience packed with emotions that made my heart beat within the dream. We stared into each other's eyes and my hands were all over her body while I was fucking her. My cock was throbbing with excitement and I just couldn't stop pounding her. My eyes were locked into hers and never wandered, seeing her happiness and lust just encouraged me to continue. I then felt an explosion of pleasure and the dream ended abruptly.

I woke up, slightly sweating and my heart pounding. My cock felt very warm so I pulled down my boxer shorts to check it out and well...
I had apparently had an orgasm... 

This has literally never happened before and I super shocked. Dreaming of Ashley brought such pleasure that I, for the first time in my life, actually came in my sleep without even touching my cock.

Thank you, Ashley.

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>>28064
I don't believe it, I found my missing sock.

>>28067
what does this have to do with my post?

>>28064
Did she have a muff?

>>28076
As I wrote in the original post, my gaze never her face. I didn't even see her (lack of) tits. But I do remember my hands feeling something hairy, so most likely yes.

>>28064
Im jealous this man basically got to have sex with ashley. My dreams feel real but its all mundane shit like driving to work.

>>28079
It's crazy too because it happened just a few days after Ashley posted about her disdain for my smooth and soft balls. But surely that's only a coincidence...

>>28064
Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem. Please be Duke Nukem.

>>28093
Wait.

Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem. Please don't be Duke Nukem.

>>28094
>>28095
Duke Nukem isn't real, Ashley. You know this.

Also he shaves/waxes his body hair, you don't think his balls are smooth as well? You'd really prefer going down on hairy balls?

>>28097
Dogs don't have shaved balls.

>>28097
>prefer
That's not how rape works. Smooth balls means smooth brain.

>>28100
Ashley would never!
>>28101
>That's not how rape works.
My lucid dream sex with Ashley was 100% consensual! She enjoyed it as much as I did.
>Smooth balls means smooth brain
What makes you say this? Having smooth balls feel really good.

>>28102
>Having smooth balls feel really good.
Maybe to a homosexual. Why you feeling your balls? You checking for lumps?

>>28105
You don't like to pleasure your balls while masturbating?

>>28109
Tell me you're gay without telling me you're gay.

>>28109
You won't find a lump that way, go check a boggy marsh.

>>28110
>>28111
I think most men enjoy pleasuring their balls.

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>>28112
I think you're just jealous Ashley calls me babe because a little pig goes a long way.

>>28114
Ashley got excited reading my sex dream and wanted me to be Duke Nukem so badly. 
I think you're the jealous one, bub

>>28117
Only women and Wolverine are allowed to say bub and Wolverine has hairy balls which means you're a tranny faggot. Ashley gets excited eating a burrito. You're not special. Your sex dream is fake and gay. Only a faggot would imagine some gay shit like that. Even Seabee writes better softcore porn than you. Ashley wants a man with hairy balls who will slap her ass and ask her what's for dinner.

>>28119
Lots of cope, projection and jealousy oozing out of this post.
>Your sex dream is fake and gay
It was real and Ashley got super excited about MY burrito.
>Ashley wants a man with hairy balls
This is objectively false as Ashley's dream man is Duke Nukem, who has 0 body hair and smooth balls. She's just a silly woman that didn't think it through, a man that waxes/shaves his chest also waxes/shaves his balls. An irrefutable fact.
>who will slap her ass and ask her what's for dinner
Don't worry, anon, I can be rough as well as soft :)
For my next lucid dream I'll paint a scenario where I dominate her in my mind before I go to sleep. If the god of dreams wills it then I shall have this dream experience.

>>28145
I swear a woman posted this

>>28146
I am heterosexual man that goes to the gym 3-4 days a week.

>>28147
You go to the gym? You must have those big sexy muscles that all the gay guys like. Real men have mommy issues and drink Modelo after a long day of hanging drywall with the Mexicans as repentance for their teenage angst. I just want to say that through the power in the blood of Jesus Christ, I've been Monster free for over ten years. I haven't touched a drop or put any holes in my wall since I was 25. Can I get a Hell Yeah, brother!

>>28149
bro, you need to cool it with the schizoid remarks

>>28198
I said can I get a Hell Yeah brother!

>>28149
In the final years of the second millenial, Japan had become the world's most powerful economy. As such, her influence on world affairs was uprescedented. However, all was not well in the land of the rising sun. Her position on the world stage had made her a prime target for terrorism. By attacking Japan's political and financial institustions, a terrorist organization could quite realistically hope to destabilize the world economy and it's political leadership.

So I came across this video a few weeks ago.
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=O_UEDtHkk3I
And I noticed they had posted an update so I just watched it.
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=avn3kHhxezg
Then I skimmed the comments.
>I was hoping to have a good update on Bastet, the stray 2 month old kitten we found on the 4th of July, but that’s not the case. This morning she was stronger, we even got her to eat wet cat food. When we went to the vet they said her temperature had gone down but she was jaundice. We hoped and prayed that she’d be able to recover. Unfortunately as the day went on she got weaker and weaker. This afternoon after having a seizure she passed away.
I cried. Same way my kittens died.

>>28227
We are living in hell

>>28228
It sure feels like it. I loved every one of these little guys.

I just discovered tonight that my cat Alabaster has a large abscess on his leg where it looks like he was bitten by another cat and I don't have access to the antibiotics to treat it because I can't afford a Veterinarian visit to get a fucking prescription. I'm worried that he could die soon of sepsis.

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>>27306
No. I managed to save a few and I think some can be saved with AI but the albums were mostly destroyed. It was hard going through the photos and reading what was written on the back of them in pen only for there to be nothing recognizable on the other side. To me, this is like losing all the paintings in the Louvre. The pics on the right are of my great-grandfather when he was an MP in the army and one of them is him walking down our Broad Street in uniform with my grandma when she was a little girl. There are no other copies.

Now that the dust has settled, we can all agree that Duke Nukem has smooth hairless balls.

>>28235
Yeah those look completely ruined. Not even an AI or better yet a professional Photoshop or Krita artist could save em. 

despite that, there is some good news because lets face it, you were never going to pass on those photos to a son or even a daughter so they were going to die with you anyways

>>28242
*yawn*

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>>28244
goodnight anon! :3

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>>28149
Fuckin' right on, brother!

>>28204
read princes of the yen

I think Ashley molested her little brother

>>28242
I totally agreed with you.

>if I broke into Ashley's small cottage and violently raped her she would most likely enjoy it
What's the fucking point of rape anymore? Modern women have taken all the fun out of rape by developing rape fetishes. What do I even get out of it when they actually like it now?

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>>27949
My cat is no where to be found. I usually just stuff my emotions deep down inside, but it finally got to me today. I cried out of nowhere while eating a burger then I briefly laughed at the thought of someone seeing me crying and eating a burger then I continued crying and stuffing my face. Tears are the ultimate condiment.

The house was so quiet without her presence and the lonliness hit me like a ton of bricks. She's just gone man. Forever. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I also feel like a weak ass little bitch for being sad about a cat, but it was the only pussy I got.

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>>28388

>>28390
Literally me right now

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>>28064
I never have sex dreams about Ashley, just random short encounters with her in my dreams.
like last nights for example
She opened a third board for the Ashleytracker. The background had dark brown wood paneling but it was done in a pixel graphics style.
and she was in a bus and there was some dude with a yellow tshirt and long hair sitting in the driver seat.
also her hair was like this but was slightly longer.
That was it.

When I'm in the shower I try to think of funny posts for /ashleyj/

When I'm in the shower I think of Ashley.

When I'm lifting I think about Ashley, about her hands wrapped around my sweaty muscular arms and legs.

I used to think I was gay until I found Ashley. I am so grateful because I would have been a faggot otherwise

>>28439
The fact that you are attracted to Ashley means that you are gay and hence a faggot.

I'm gay, let's fuck!

>>28434
>>28436
>>28438
>>28439
All me btw

>>28443
no, you are gay and liar

>>28434
>>28436
When Im in Ashley I think about needing to shower after

>>28475
That means you have a premature ejaculation problem, otherwise you wouldn't be thinking at all.

>>28475
When I'm Ashley I never think about showering

I've started jerking off to hairy girls ever since Ashley gave us a close up of her hairy legs.

All in favor of Ashley sweating on our Christmas cards this year say aye

>>28505
You're pathetic.

I've started jacking off to petite young girls with small tits and pink nipples ever since I found Ashley.

>>25664 (OP) 
I drank my own cum mixed with spoiled milk (on accident, I came in a random plastic cup in my room because I had no napkins; I was also drinking out of a similar cup - so I accidentally picked up the one with spoiled milk). I immediately threw up.

I wear the same clothes for about a week before changing into new clothes.
I dont see the point in changing clothes every 3 days or whatever. I dont workout in them so they dont retain a foul odour, plus i shower every 3-4 days as well so i have never heard any complaints about bad hygiene. Now stop right there, you might have been thinking well thats because theyve never said anything about it doesnt necessarly mean you dont smell bad, maybe they felt too awkward to bring up such an embarrsing topic like the subject of my smelliness. Well i can assure you, that is simply not true, I live around vultures, really ruthless persons. This kind of hostile environment has made me into the man that I am today. I dont take shit from anyone. Im proud of that and proud to serve the fine people of Cheyenne, the state capital of Wymong, as a police officer at the local police department. A lot of people around town wave to me, so Im well liked and of course, respected, being law enforcment and all. In fact I will often visit the local Wendys and get a Daves Double, when I do the Im always greeted by my full name and a smile, I supposed you could say Im regular there though I do frequent other restaurants. Now that isnt to say that I cant cook, I can. I just like convenience that fast food offers. An ex gf of mine would make frequent positive remarks to me about my culinary skills with my lasagna being a particlar favourite of hers. This lasagna that she enjoyed I learnt from my mother whose lasagna was my favourite meal, thats why I asked if she would teach me exactly how she made hers. i am not able to replicate the flavour of her dish in the exact same manner which is unfortunte but it has also made me realize the importance of relishing the small moments in life, like enjoying my mothers home made lasagna. Perhaps one day I too will be able to hand down my lasagna recipe to a child of my own. I would like 2 boys and 1 girl, but if it turned out that I had a different combination of kids for example 2 girls and 1 boy or 1 boy and 1 girl, I wouldnt be upset at all, I really dont have a strong preference either way because i could still pass down things to them, and they to their kids that they have. I wonder what its like to have grandkids, I think it would be one of the proudest things to experience. To watch your child that you raised, grow up into an adult and producing their own offspring. The cycle of life as they say. This was a bit of ramble that began as a confession about the fact that i dont change my clothes that often and the reason as why i dont, but i dont mind that i drifted off and if youre reading this i hope you didnt mind, I just had a very rare desire to talk, or rather type out my thoughts and quite frankkly its felt catherdict in a way and I do recommend others adventure into it as well, who knows maybe you will get so much enjoyment out of it that you will come to the realzition that you enjoy writing and may even go so far to start creative writing and produce books because of this. Knowing that i may have played a very small part in improving someones life and helping them develop a passion would bring a smile and kindle of warmth to my heart. God bless and have a wonderful day wherever you are in this world that we share.

I had a nightmare. Not like a haunted nightmare, but I think it's my subconcious telling me I might be in danger. Let it be known I am a good hearted person and that I don't have malicious intent.

To anybody who needs to hear this, whatever you are going through, you’re not alone and you are loved and valued, never forget how far you have cummed

>>29084
At least 6-8 feet tbqh

I don't tip.

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>>29174
>somalian slut pours my coffee
>hits no tip
>she rolls eyes
I hope she fucking dies bros. No more fucking refugees. Fuck em'. Over it. Build the walls. Put em' in camps. I don't care. I'm FUCKING DONE WITH THESE SAND KPOP FANS!!!!

>>27785
Dad-rape anon here again. I had virtually the same dream again, except I murdered and dismembered him afterwards. What the fuck? WORST FUCKING THING IS IT WAS A FUCKING WET DREAM.
I DO NOT WANT TO RAPE MY FUCKING DAD.

>>29188
Your first post was nothing concerning, that shit happens to everyone and nobody talks about it. But a wet dream where you murder your dad? That's beyond a few wires getting crossed in your brain as you dream. Was the wet dream during the rape or during the murder? I'm suspicious of this being an authentic post. Post proof of cum on bed/the cum soaked panties you were wearing.

>>29190
I came during the rape not the murder part. I remember I felt ashamed so I just decided to put him out of his misery, the murder wasn't sexual.
>post cum boxers
Nice try. I'm not a faggot (despite the dream)

Just shit. Asshole slightly hurts. I like that feeling.

>>29246
Ashley pls

I enjoy being a slob sometimes. I was wearing grubby clothes that were soaked in sweat because of how hot it was outside and I was feeling bloated and tired from the fast-food I ate which was a good amount of food that nearly put me into a coma and I slumped down on my recliner with my fan blowing on me while drinking a few tallboys and letting the beer pour down the sides of my mouth and spill onto my sweaty grease stained shirt and using my hairy arm to wipe the beer and food crumbs off my mouth. I can see why some people are such grubby motherfuckers because it feels good not giving a fuck.

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>>29249
is this you?


I check Ashley's logs every day and sometimes I will think about what the deleted posts that Unregistered User made were about and why they felt the need to delete them.
Were they cringe and they deleted them out of emberssement embaresment embarrassment once they read what it was they were posting?
or maybe they just made a critical spelling mistake that they just couldnt live with so they had to delete and repost?
I guilty of that too




both I mean.

>>29326
>they just made a critical spelling mistake
I'll delete my post and repost it if I make a critical speling mistake.

>>29326
>I check Ashley's logs every day
Are they looking healthy? I hope she's getting enough fiber in her diet.

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>>29326
I check the "Ashley Jones" thread every day for new photos/videos/news.
https://endchan.org/agatha2/res/7748.html#bottom

>>29329
Kek

>>29331
Is that her touring the gas chambers

>>29331
My wholesome tradwife :)))

CAPTCHA: w7fe4u

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I am posting on the smooth interocular region girl website at noon on a thursday because my bwc is too big for me to feel empathy for other people

does anyone else have this problem

>>29336
I don't see a wooden door.

>>29326
I keep posting her nudes but it's cp, so I have to immediately delete it. No one is ever on, so no one ever sees it.

>>29336
I think that's her house during renovations.

>>29331
It's a dungeon crawler and you just ran into a goblin

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>>29351

I shit in gas station bathrooms but I dont flush. I want to give the employees something to do.

Just ate 3 slices of Domino's pizza that sat in the fridge for 6 days. I'll probably be regretting it later tonight, will keep everyone posted.

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>>29495
I'm shocked you didn't regret eating Dominos right away. Praying for your soul nigga 🙏💯

>>28064
It's me again!
I had 2 different dreams with Ashley last night, back to back.

So in the first dream I was talking to Ashley on the phone, with a video feed of her in the top left like HUD element from cyberpunk, but it wasn't a video call so I had to orally describe what I was seeing. But I could still see her happy and excited reactions to what I was saying. I had big white wings and I was flying over various landscapes and telling her about it, mostly forests and hills. After that I spotted the local high school I went to and flew inside and showed her around. I described various events and stuff that happened there. Right at the end I saw one my old teachers (50+ woman) and flew down to talk to her and then the dream ended.

After briefly waking up and falling asleep again I had the second dream, this one was much shorter. I was lying on the couch with Ashley and cuddling. I was the big spoon and she was the little spoon. We didn't say anything, we were just content. After a while of just spooning, she turned around and looked into my eyes and smiled. She then lifted her thigh and put it over mine and I felt this super strong warm feeling, it felt really good. A huge wave of pleasure filled my entire body and then I woke up.


The craziest part of this is that I had so many dreams last night, like at least 6 different ones. However when I woke up and ate breakfast I could only vividly remember the 2 dreams with Ashley. It has been more than 12 hours since I had the dreams now and I've completely forgotten the other ones that I could vaguely remember when I woke up. No idea why the Ashley dreams are so vivid while the other ones were vague at best and now forgotten.

>>25664 (OP) 
9ggigbii

pn'pnn';

>>29495
You'll be fine. I've personally had pizza sitting out on the table for about a week and still eaten it. Just toss it in the microwave. It really depends on your living conditions though. My roommate left a delivery pizza in our oven for a few days and it grew mold but I never had that problem with my delivery pizza sitting out on the table. We always kept our apartment cold and bugs weren't an issue. I wouldn't try this with pasta though. I've heard horror stories of people dying from their organs shutting down within a few days. I'd like to add that I did buy some of the Boar's Head products that were recently recalled and I did eat them before and after the recall and I did not get sick that I know of but I did notice that a few sandwiches did cause a rumbly in my tumbly and I did experience a noticeable brain fog soon after eating them. Made me feel tipsy.

>>29496
As someone who has gotten the shower shits from eating dominos before, the secret is to add extra cheese.

>>29506
Your roommates pizza grew mold in the oven because mold grows quicker in warmer, dark, enclosed spaces.

>>29496
I don't normally eat that trash but I had a coupon for 50% off two pizzas so I used it for lunch at work.
>>29506
it's been about 7 hours since I ate the slices and haven't experienced any food poisoning symptoms yet so I think I'm good. I've had really bad food poisoning in the past from eating Subway so I know what to expect. Once I start feeling nauseous I know I'll be incapacitated for the next few days.

please please please somebody save me im so dumb in all the sense im but a worthless doormat seed to all the beautiful bright fleshy apples i may never succeed im a pesk a unwanted grasshopper nymph i only want one guy to be my one and only n to take my virginity that one person that i will love forever but they only lie and deceit me even if i try to prove myself to be worthy i never may they used to tell me nice things it was hard to believe now i know my worries all of them are so much more close to the truth why can a guy not be my one and only and me to him be the the only girl he loves and wants to kiss

>>29538
I knew a girl who was kind of mousey in the face, lankey but cute enough. She had been kind of passed-over and lacking attention before.

She got with a tall fluffy haired guy, fellow zoomer. He had much the same issue, not a lot of luck before her. They had some good times. They were each other's firsts, but then he seemed to realize that he could do better. Put her in the friends-who-have-sex zone and started swiping for more girls on the internet. Probably thought he could start a harem because she was bisexual, mildly based IMO. I hope he is building his bi-girl harem out there in a more responsible and caring manner. She accepted that for a while, then she blew it up for sake of drama, or maybe something else blew it up, idk idc.

The point is, if you want a guy who shreds your hymen and then sticks with you and you alone, he needs to not be a guy who has temporary low self esteem.

If he comes inside of you and then he's like, "Wait a moment, I could totally have negotiated better and have another ticklish insect girl, ooh maybe with freckles." then you're out of luck. Make sure he doesn't have manic episodes, that he isn't in a slump of depression. Measure his height and his erect penis, or at least make sure he knows his measure and how he stacks up to other guys. If you are face-blind, ask girls you trust to help you find a less handsome man. Some guys don't bother checking their stats, and then they are like "damn, I'm 7 inches hard? Nearly six feet tall? I deserve at least two skinny girls with small nipples and they should kiss." I don't think they are even deceptive about it, they just surprise themselves.

Know how far you can reach, little nymph...

>>29538
((( penis haver )))

>>29543
wait hold on ((( penis haver )))

>>29544
fuck it

>>29545
you wish you femboy little boy lover

>>29542
What an odd thing to say. 

Is this bait?

>She got with a tall fluffy haired guy
Well, there's the problem. Don't date guys that care more about their shoes than the people around them.

Women really do live life on easy mode. They let a single guy hurt them and then they be on some new age nonsense to destroy any potential happiness they could have with someone else. I don't know how many times I've fallen and had to dust myself off but I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who would be willing to harshly judge me for ever falling in the first place. If a woman is not willing to compensate for your inadequacies, then she is not a woman worth being with. You want someone who is going to be there for you in sickness and health. It really does seem like women make the choices and men have to live with them. I'm absolutely done with shit tests from women. I don't even bother calling them out anymore. I just fail them with flying colors because that shit is so stupid and I want nothing to do with someone who believes they can find love using a litmus test. If you were already in a bad relationship, then you probably don't have the best judgement.

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>>29549
>and then they be on some new age nonsense
This is a no nigga zone

>>29538
Stop trying to e-date men online. Don't send them nudes because that's the closest they can get to pump and dump you. Get off the internet and try finding a decent guy IRL. I know you're young and horny but don't sleep with the first guy you meet just because he's nice to you that's what whoers do. Take it slow and figure out if the guy is someone who will take care of you. That will probably take two years to get a solid answer. Wanting a boyfriend is different than wanting a husband, and it requires you to act like a wife rather than a horny whoer. Best of luck.

>>29549
How would I be baiting? Fluff aside, the advice is "be careful when aiming too out of your league, because guys might not stay faithful if their opinion of themselves changes"

"Shit tests" is such a stupid name I swear I've forgotten what that is supposed to mean 3 times. I don't think they even do them when they like you, I've never seen a shit test.

>>29552
>I've never seen a shit test.
I can tell

>>29552
girls shit test constantly. they don't even know they're doing it. basically she's gauging how you'll react to her bullshit, and if you don't put her in her place, she knows you're weak and thus becomes unattracted. It's dead simple to spot once you know what these little nutjobs are up to.

>>29557
shit tests are major red flag, textbook narcissism

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Once or twice a month during the summer, I like to stay up late on a Sunday night (specifically Sunday) watching movies or playing games until around 1 or 2 AM. Then, I grab a few snacks, get into my car, and drive 30-40 minutes out of town along a few country roads. There's usually nobody else on the road and most of the time it's nice enough to roll my window down to get some cool night air. It's pretty comfy.
Now, when I say "country road" I don't necessarily mean deserted. There are plenty of residential homes along the way. Most people who live in rural areas have dogs. So what I like to do is every 1-2 miles I find a spot to pull over, then I lay on the horn for a good 3-5 seconds. Within moments I can hear every dog nearby freak out and start barking. I like to snack for a minute or so while I listen (I've even heard people yelling at their dogs to be quiet). Then I move on and repeat the process.
I've done this until the sun comes up. Feels great to go home, close my knockout curtains, and go to sleep all day on a Monday, knowing I've ruined the sleep of at least a hundred boomer retirees and/or blue collar wagies, if not more.