/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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Third in a series of EROTIC TALES starring  the alluring and captivating world renowned comedienne, Ashley Jones.

Disclaimer: EROTIC TALES is a seperate entity and is not associated with JONES TOWN PRODUCTIONS or its affiliates.

                     --------- A FRUITFUL EXPERIENCE -----------

I arrived home, my partner and I have been working on finishing a basement. Customer wants a man cave. He said that it will be a good place to escape from his wife. He has some cool pin ball machines and neon bar memorabilia. As I was pulling into my driveway I glanced at the house next door to see if she was home but I couldn't tell for sure. Maybe she was at a garage sale or second hand store.

I put the coffee on and jumped in the shower. After the shower I was about to pour myself a cup of fresh made coffee when I heard a gentle unobtrusive knock on the door. I could tell by the polite knock that it was her. I opened the door and it was. Why does my heart BPM go from 45 to 90 whenever I first see her?  She stood there with a CO2 tank in one hand and a regulator and a clear plastic bag of fruit in the other hand. She said "HI" and I invited her in.

She said that she couldn't attach her tank to the regulator. I took a look and saw the problem. She needed a threaded reducer fitting. We went into the garage and rooted through my hardware drawer and found exactly what she needed. I sealed the threads with some teflon tape, installed the fitting and it was good to go. She thanked me and we went back into the house.

I asked her that as long as she was here would she like to stay for dinner. She said, "Seabee, you know I'm a vegan." I replied in the affirmative and told her that I downloaded a vegan recipe that I thought she might like and on the way home from work I stopped at the market and picked up the necessary ingredients. She seemed impressed with my thoughtfulness and asked about the recipe. I told her that it was vegan lasagna. She licked her sweet lips and asked if I would be eating the same. I told her that I had made a big pot of chilli. It would have been vegan except for the chop meat that I added.

I gave the Ash the downloaded recipe and got the ingredients from the fridge. She spread the ingredients on the kitchen counter and set the oven to pre heat it and I took some chill out of the big pot to heat up a little later. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat in the dining room to keep her company while she was prepping her lasagna in the kitchen.

She had her back to me. She was wearing black form fitting yoga pants, you know the kind. Ashley's cute round little butt looked incredible in those pants. She must have a 6th sense because she yelled out, "Seabee, are you looking at my butt?" Did she say it as if she wanted me to look at her butt or did she mean I was perving?  Whatever, I being the honest man that I am answered, "Why wouldn't I be looking at that butt?"

Ashley then asked me to put on some music. Both Ashley and I share an interest in 70s and 80s stuff and I knew exactly what to play. I slipped a CD into my 1989 Aiwa CD/Cassette player/recorder that I picked up cheap at a garage sale along with the speakers. Tavares started singing "Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel." once it started playing she started moving her hips and butt to the music. I wasn't sure if it was consciously a form of seduction on her part or an innocent appreciation of the music. Either way her moves were quite an improvement over her awkward though cute dance moves back in the day. She certainly has improved her moves judging by my sudden arousal.

She placed the prepped ingredients into a tin foil tray and put it in the pre heated oven. She made herself a carbonated drink with the juice of half a grapefruit. She asked if she could make me one  but I declined and told her that for whatever reason I just wasn't a fan of carbonation so I poured myself another cup of coffee. We enjoyed each other's company with small talk like the rise and fall of the Ottoman Empire, capitalism vs communism, Reptilians and Fallen Angels, stuff like that. We bantered back and forth disagreeing on some points, agreeing on others until the timer on the oven dinged notifying her that the vegan lasagna was ready.

I enjoyed watching her eat her meal, she really seemed to be enjoying it and it was kind of sensuous watching her eat.

After dinner we did the dishes and she asked me if I was ready for a fun evening. I told her that I would make the popcorn and she could select the movie. Ashley looked at me with incrudulity and just shook her head saying, "You're a cool guy, Seabee, but sometimes you can be so naive." She grabbed my hand and walked me to the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom we began kissing, her warm probing tongue and saliva fulfilling my wildest expectations. She removed her South Park tee shirt revealing her small perfect breasts and little pink nipples and quarter size pink areolas. My penis began to tell me that this is starting to get serious real quick.

Ashley sat on the bed and removed her sexy ankle length boots and then stood up to remove her yoga pants. It was a case of cognitive dissonance on my part. She ws alluring in her black yoga pants and yet those sensuous white slender legs and thighs certainly were a treat beyond belief. The white legs and thighs won out in my mind and she removed the pants revealing panties with Garfield and Odie dancing around her breathtaking camel toe. One can only imagine what would be going on around that camel toe if she was wearing Top Cat panties. She removed her panties with complete abandon. Her cute little round butt cried out for adoration and I was there to oblige. I couldn't remove my jeans, shirt and boxer briefs fast enough denying her the pleasure of slowly disrobing me to her disappointment.

I laid on the bed and she laid on top of me, the warmth of her petite, soft, nude body was like the warmth of the sun on my chest. She had brought in the plastic bag of fruit like she had something already planned. She reached for the bag and removed a strawberry put it in her mouth and began chewing it. She opened my mouth witth one of her long slender fingers. Our faces were no more than a foot apart. She dribbled her cocktail of strawberry juice and saliva into my mouth. I felt the warmth of that Ashley cocktail coat my tongue and slide down my throat, it was so erotic. Honestly, if it was any other girl I would have been turned off but because it was Ashley I was hopelessly and completely turned on. She smiled at my acceptance of her cocktail as did I.

I couldn't resist and my hand slid between her round little butt cheeks passing her tight little pink butt hole on the way to and ending the journey at her hot little vulva which by now was soaking wet.

I rolled over so that Ashley was now on the bottom. I reached in her bag of fruit andd pulled out another strawberry. I rubbed it on her pink little nipple. I squeezed the juice of the strawberry onto that pink and perfect waiting nipple and then began to slowly lick it, strawberry juice never tasted better. The more I licked the more she moaned and the more her little nipple began to rise from her pink aeriola. I begn to suck her pink perfection and flick it with my tongue. Ashley's nipple was now turgid and as hard as a 16 penny nail. She continued moaning uncontrollably while all the time I was massaging her other nipple with my thumb so as not to create envy between her two nipples.

I had a desire to continue my journey southward and traversed her soft flat little tummy and finding her little innie I began to lick it, Ashley giggled and said that it tickled. I continued my journey following what she once called her "Happy Trail" and ended at her perfect clitoris, not too big, not too small, just right. I began licking and loving it and my tongue could feel it pulsate as she continued her soft melodic moans. I inserted my tongue into her now hot wet snug void and her moans became louder. I began to realize that little void would soon be demanding something a bit larger than my tongue and I began a northward journey.

I again began pleasuring that still turgid pink nipple. Her entire body started to tense and became as hard as a steel rod. She wrapped her long slender legs around me almost squeezing the breath out of me. I was astonished how much strength that petite body could muster. Her fingers began digging into my back and shoulder blades and her eyes began rolling back into her head. Her hot and heavy breathing told me she was ready and I certainly was.

She was so wet that it was an easy chore to enter her snug void. I can only analogize entering her as a religious experience. At that moment she was my Joan of Arc and I was her Gilles de Rais. She continued with her sighs and murmurs and her petite body began to undulate to my motions and we became one. She emitted a gutteral tone and raised her little butt slightly off the bed which allowed me a bit more penetration. That was it, game, set, match. It was a mutual orgasmic explosion with my seed filling that snug little void housed between those amazing slender thighs. 

                            ------EPILOGUE-------

After we caught our breath we sat up in bed looking adoringly at each other. Her cute face was so flushed from her experience as I guess mine was also. I asked if she had to go home now. She tilted her head sideways and slightly upward and raising her eyes upward also (one of the many mannerisms that always seemed to captivate me) and seemed to think for a few seconds. She turned back to me kissing me gently on the cheek and looking at me with those hazel green eyes that seemed to speak a language all their own yet able to be undestood, those eyes that were able to peer into one's very soul and said, "But I am home, Seabee, I am home.
Replies: >>9628 >>9633
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>>9626 (OP) 
bro I dont think Joan of Arc is gonna be too happy about that analogy bro
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>>9626 (OP) 
>invite woman to stay for dinner
>make her cook it
>then fucks her

well played you sly horndog!
well played!


btw have you done any other writing?
like short stories, etc
Replies: >>9662
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>>9633
Other than writing short stories for my English composition class in high school, no.
Replies: >>9744
>>9662
Were you short stories for your English composition classes also erotic?
did you get to fuck a hot 8th grade English teacher? 

describe in detail if you did you horndog
Replies: >>9745 >>9750
>>9744
My eighth grade English teacher actually had a crush on me. I probably could have. She let me get away with far too much in her class. To keep me out of trouble with the assistant principal, she had me sit by her in class and she was genuinely disappointed with me not doing my assignments but still passed me. She caught me looking up porn on a laptop and didn't make a fuss about it. I once walked in on her changing in her classroom after school. I saw her tattoo and she showed it to me. She told me she was a burn out in college and she had a Green Day CD on her desk.
Replies: >>9783
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>>9744
I went to a Catholic high school, grades 9 thru 12 and my teacher in English composition grade 12 was a priest so, no, my short stories were not erotic for fear of being sent to the dean of discipline who was a 6'4" 250 pound priest that all the kids including myself feared. All I wanted was to attend an automotive trade high school but my parents thought otherwise.

The Catholic high school I attended was the same one that George Carlin attended long before I attended. He got kicked out after two years because he had the balls and the guts to speak his mind in class about the Catholic church and the school.
Replies: >>9751 >>9783
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>>9750
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKP04AaxZH8
>>9745
>To keep me out of trouble with the assistant principal, she had me sit by her in class and she was genuinely disappointed with me not doing my assignments but still passed me
> She caught me looking up porn on a laptop and didn't make a fuss about it
>I once walked in on her changing in her classroom after school

Passing you whilst you never did your assignments barbecues you were watching pornographic material and you walked in on her changing?!?!? 
i have bad news for you anon. You have autism and could have fucked your 8th grade English teacher and could have lived the dream!... Either that or she recognized your brilliant mind and wanted you to go onto bigger and brighter things like shitposting on img boards

>>9750
You went to a Catholic high school and never got molested?!?! Youre unironically lucky, me? not so much...
Replies: >>9785 >>9827
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>>9783
I had gym class once a week and after gym class you had to take a shower. After the shower you couldn't just remove a towel from the shelf, no. The two gym teachers handed out the towels so they could watch our young nubile bodies.
>>9783
She knew I was smarter than everyone else she taught and she probably liked that I was a bad boy. I have mentioned here before that I was T.J. Detweiler in middle school. When she had caught me looking up porn in class, we had borrowed those laptops from the school library to do a project and I had found a way to circumvent the internet filter, Bess. Here's an article on Bess if you don't know what it is. https://ncac.org/resource/internet-filters#BESS
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