>>20157
I really appreciate you coming back to give us an update. I wrote >>19889 so thank you for not wasting my time. This is going to be another long ass post, but I think you'll get value out of it, so hang in there.
First, I'd like to start by saying that I'm proud of you. Yeah, sounds stupid on some image board, but I really am. Your instincts told you this bitch was being shady, you took what some of the people here said to heart, and you presumably confronted her. Good for you.
It turns out your instincts were right. You didn't need us to tell you here that something was up with this chick -- you knew. This should teach you that listening to your intuition is important. Don't let every one of your insecurities or fears drag you down, but when you have a feeling something isn't right, allow yourself to rationally explore that feeling without guilt.
>She was lying about the timeline of things. You were right, she was monkey branching from that guy to me.
I can't say that I'm surprised. Here's the unironically good news though: you've learned an incredibly valuable lesson. You got to see for yourself, in real time, exactly how "monkey branching" works. This is very common female behavior. That's not to say that ALL women ALWAYS do this, but it's predictable enough for me to have been right. Understanding this potential behavior never clicks for a LOT of guys, but you're never going to forget this. >>20162 was talking about relationship XP, I'd say having this experience was like a "level up" for you.
>Things did end between them though, I read that it did end so there's that.
Here's the thing though, she's been lying to you for the entire relationship. Just because she says it's done, even if she texted him something to that effect, doesn't mean she's worthy of your trust. She still works with this guy, right? That's 8 hours a day (or whatever it is) she's spending with him, not you. You're not even fucking this bitch and you can't let go -- this guy is actually getting his dick wet, so don't think for a second he won't try to worm his way back in. She's loving all of this attention, by the way. "Oh my gosh, they're fighting over me! I'm SO desirable!" Don't play into that game, you're better than that.
>I told her my trust is broken and now she's throwing everything at me literally begging for me to give her one more chance and that she loves me and that she's sorry she'll do whatever it takes etc etc.
Isn't that interesting? You showed some backbone, put your foot down, acted like a man with standards, and now she's "literally begging" you to allow her to stay in your life. I don't necessarily think that you should, but this is also a massively positive experience for you to be having.
It's possible he has no clue, but I would be willing to bet that the other guy from her work knows about you and didn't put his foot down. She was literally waiting for someone to correct her bad behavior, because whoever had the balls to put her in her place was the more valuable man. That's why she's oozing all over you now.
>The fucked up part is that there's a part of me that just wants to give her one more chance so I don't feel alone. It really is nice to just have someone to hold
I understand. You already know that's a bad idea though, as >>20162 and >>20163 so astutely pointed out. I would actually offer another reason you need to stick to your guns (remember, IT'S OK TO HAVE STANDARDS AS A MAN). I'm not sure how big the social circle is with you and this girl, but if there are other females around, they're observing what's going on like its a soap opera. If you capitulate, and forgive this lying whore, you're effectively signaling to all other women in earshot that you're a little bitch, and that you're OK with being walked all over. What do you think that does to your "sexual marketplace value"?
Imagine that it's someday in the future. You have a son, and he comes to you for girl advice. He's in the same situation you're in. What advice would you give him? As his father, the man of the house, what would you want to tell him that you did when you were younger and in a similar situation? What would you tell your son to help him become a strong, high-value male?
You already know the answer, of course. Those of us without strong dads (I love my dad but he's by all measures a pretty beta dude when it comes to women) need to do these kinds of thought exercises.
And trust me, man, I'm so sympathetic to the idea of just wanting a woman around. They're soft, and smell good, and you just want to love them and have sex with them and just feel that feminine energy so badly that you'd almost (ALMOST) put up with anything to get it. The great irony though is that being kind and forgiving isn't going to get you there, and whatever girls you do get aren't going to respect you for being their doormat.
Have you ever tried to decide where to eat dinner with a woman before? "I don't know, what do you want?"
"Whatever you feel like baby, what do you want?"
"I don't know, it's up to you."
"Well I just want to make you happy, sweetheart, we can go wherever you want!"
Disgusting, right? But we've pretty much all been there. In this situation, because you just love her and want to be around her, and you frankly really don't care where you eat, you're trying to be nice and let her have whatever she wants. A woman does NOT see it this way. She wants you to be the leader, plain and simple. She's practically begging you to step up to the (dinner) plate and make a decision FOR her. You're eating dinner at a place because YOU want to be there, YOU want that food. She's following you, and she likes it that way. If you love/like a girl and you genuinely want to give her what she really wants, you have to be the man and take charge.
>I don't even like her personality that much.
A lot of women are pretty insufferable, yeah. You don't have to like a girl's personality to fuck her, but if you're looking for a real relationship, a girlfriend or maybe even a wife down the road, you're going to want to find someone you're actually compatible with, personality-wise, obviously.
>She's 6 years younger than me and emotionally immature.
Nothing at all wrong with younger women, despite what all the old hags will tell you. Oftentimes you'll have a much more pleasant time with a younger girl -- she can still see you as a man and a lover, not a provider and a paycheck. The emotional maturity thing does of course play a part, but frankly the behavior you've described doesn't sound any less mature than the behavior of some 35 year old roastie. They're perpetually children, so if you're looking for an "emotionally mature" woman, you're not likely to find one, ever. Emotional maturity is something you can build with her and instill in her over the course of a relationship where you teach her to be a good woman (they don't come out that way most of the time, sadly).
>She never shows much interest in me as a person.
Yeah, it's pretty clear that this chick wants to be the star of her own teen drama reality television show, and you're just one of the supporting roles. Why would she have interest in you as a person? You're a prop. Next time, YOU'RE the star of the show and the women are the supporting roles.
>She was just someone to try to fuck and I got emotionally attatched a bit because it's been well 7 years since my last relationship/since I've been laid
That's a long time. You're suffering from a feeling of scarcity. "Oh god," you're thinking. "What if I have to wait that long again? I'm so close to getting some pussy now, and it would feel so good, shouldn't I just hang in there and take whatever she throws at me so that I can get it?"
Remember the thought exercise where you're a father giving advice to your son? What would you want for him?
Let me tell you something: it's not worth it. 10 minutes of awkward condom sex is NOT worth throwing your self worth away for. Over the past 7 years you've probably gotten pretty good at masturbating, and that's actually fine. You don't need her to have an eye-rolling orgasm and you know it. You're being driven by your instinct to breed, not an actual sense of lonliness or need for her specifically.
Plus, and this is maybe the most important thing you can take away from this conversation, is that when you say NO to this bitch and you tell that LIAR to get out of your life, you're going to walk away from it with your head held high. You'll feel like much, much more of a man who respects himself and has STANDARDS than if you give in and beg your to let you dribble a little cum into a rubber balloon inside her.
>What do? Do I just cut her off?
Yes. You don't have to be a cunt about it. Be a class act -- you're the prize here, and she's just another girl -- anger at a woman is just another sign of weakness (if you had 3 other bitches blowing up your phone you wouldn't be upset about this, right?). Just tell her you've given things some thought, and that you're sorry but things aren't going to work out romantically between you. You'll be happy to be friends though.
Friendzoning this girl will feel better than any sex you could ever have with her, trust me.
Continued in next post.