/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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ASHLEYS AWARDS SHOW IS SOON TO AIR LIVE ON THE INTERNET
An entire year's worth of curating weird submissions in forms of videos, news stories, and generally strange and bizarre people, will all compete for an award, hosted by yours truly, Ashley Jones. Join Ashley on her first Tosh.Hoe Awards Show, which is pre-recorded but aired LIVE on https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones

THE AWARDS SHOW AIRS LIVE SUNDAY DECEMBER 31ST, 2023 AT:
8pm PST | 9pm MST | 10pm CST | 11pm EST
https://cytu.be/r/ashleyjones

Invite anyone who may be interested.
Replies: >>15685 >>15697
Looks like I'm spending New Year's Eve in my room.
>>15681 (OP) 
HOLY SHIT! 
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!

I cannot wait!
This is gonna be great looking forward to this Ashley!
Is it going to be in the style of tosh.0? I loved that show and seeing ashley as the host would be awesome actually
Replies: >>15865
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not like i have anything better to do
Replies: >>15716
>>15681 (OP) 
so are cuckies submissions closed?
Replies: >>15865
the perfect excuse to spend the end of the year alone
>>15701
I dont need the excuse, every end of year for me is alone
but not this one, oh no... thanks to Ashley J i will be amongst friends this time

I  think they are my friends? maybe they are bots
point is, this is going to be a lot of fun
Replies: >>15716 >>15722
>>15696
>>15701
Relax anons, stop feeling guilty for not being a normie. Do you really want to be like those people? Frankly I would much rather spend new years eve comfy in my home eating something tasty for dinner and screwing around on my computer than, what, "going out" to some shitty bar or party with a bunch of drunk retards

>>15715
that's the spirit
Replies: >>15717 >>15722
>>15716
True, the bar scene is degenerate, but the culture pushes hard on the kiss at midnight. Maybe Ashley will be kind enough to blow us a kiss?
Replies: >>15722
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>>15701
>>15715
>>15716
>>15717
Do not confuse loneliness with being alone. What an awakening it is to discover how unlonely being alone can be. Just as bread is food for the stomach, solitude can be food for the soul. Sometimes it's better to be alone, no one can hurt you that way, you become your own master dependent on no one.
Replies: >>15723 >>15728
>>15722
Well said. I've been a lone wolf my entire life and never felt the desire to be with a group of people. If I made the effort, I'm sure I could have a circle of friends and party on occasion. But I loathe social situations, and not due to something like social anxiety. Some people like peace and quiet and are happy being to themselves. Others are involuntarily alone and yearn for what "could be". Most social situations rely on alcohol and drama, which is gay and stressful.
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>>15722
lmao ok grandpa did u get that from a facebook post or something? 
u prolly have picrel too 


I'm just fucking with ya TYFYS
WOW
bump
The board's Christmas theme looks absolutely FABULOUS, Ashley.
>>15860
agree this is mad comfy
>>15695
Yes, I also loved Tosh.0 when it was on the air. I guess it couldn't survive today's social climate, it was one of the shows that really poked fun at everyone and everything, never taking anything too seriously. Fun fact, I found Popstar Nima (cleaning out my asshole guy) through Tosh.0. I always liked the style of Tosh and the Ashley "Tosh.Hoe" Awards Show is an homage to it. I needed an excuse to write jokes away from my characters, and this style of show was a good way to get away from the usual "character skit" which I don't want to be type-cast as. What's ironic is Tosh is a copy of The Soup. It's like a human centipede of comedy shows. The Soup -> Tosh - > Me.

>>15697
Pretty much, and I actually ended up using almost nothing from the Cuckies thread. Even though I gave it a fair shot, I couldn't work in news stories into an entertaining video format. It would rely on too much context/explanation, which could get boring when I prefer writing jokes in rapid succession rather than drawn out. Since the news stories relied too much on explanation/context, I found bizarre videos to nominate for awards instead. The viewer would be more entertained seeing a funny or strange video rather than hear a tired re-telling of a story. Though it's possible I could still work in some news stories, as a few recent submissions are really funny.

>>15860
Thank you very much. I don't use exclamation marks because it feels gay, but just know that I say my thanks with excitement. I consciously tried to make the board non-eye-rape. Believe it or not, my awful web design is not purposeful. 

I'm very excited about the upcoming Ashley Awards. I've been writing it and I think it's pretty good.
Replies: >>15867 >>15873
>>15865
https://youtu.be/qDnJBeBC_XY?si=tm_qLp5AJN9p0KS3
>>15860
agreed, this is her best seasoned theme yet, especially the postform box

>>15865
>I'm very excited about the upcoming Ashley Awards. I've been writing it and I think it's pretty good.
I personally will be attending the awards dressed up in my best attire.............. ok fine its just pajama pants that need washing and a tshirt with holes and tin spaghetti stains fml
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legit excited for this shit
bunp
Cosy
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Can't wait for this. I was invited to a New Year's Eve party by my sister but I politely declined, saying that I had other plans. I'm unironically looking forward to chilling with the boys, eating snacks, and making fun of Ashley's hunchback.
Replies: >>16393
>>16388
is ur sister hot and single and DEEEE....TEEEE.......EEEEEEEEF?

but yeah, its going be a lot of fun. Im even tempted to wear a suit to it.
the only suit I own though is my birthday suit and last time I wore that, i got in a lot of trouble
Replies: >>16394
>>16393
She's quite a bit older than me so I'm not interested, but maybe, she sucked my penis once when I was 12 and she was 19. I came in her mouth. We never talk about it. Sometimes I think about it when I masturbate but IRL I'd never be interested again.
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this is going to be me at Ashley's Tosh.Hoe Awards Show this NYE
ARE WE HYPED?
ah cool, just don't become a stremer like Sam Hyde lole he can't not take that ez yt $$$
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Replies: >>16621
3 days. I bought cheetos and pepsi for this occasion. What about you anons?
Replies: >>16567 >>16614
>>16564
i am eating focaccia with small pomodoro, how do you call it?
i can't really eat gluten, i have slight intolerance
like all hot bitches tbh
Replies: >>16568
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>>16567
Replies: >>16592
>>16568
dinner fettina alla Milanese fied with maionese
got to keep my protein intake up, i work out 12 years now wtf i used to be asthmatic, i was cured when i started to smoke weed
Replies: >>16593
>>16592
>fied
*fried
🍕
Can I go drunk?
Replies: >>16601 >>16614
>>16600
y🥂
>>16564
alcohol 

>>16600
yes but please try and not vomit on the red carpet ok?
>>16552
Yup, you’re gay.
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>>16637
Kudos and bravo, what a well written and interesting story. Not meaning to steal your thunder but a similar incident happened to me. Allow me to continue.

It was the summer of 1940 and the war was raging in Europe and I decided not to take sides. I opened a club called Bill's place in Casablanca. It catered to the French and the Germans, mostly German SS agents and French gendarmes who would sooner sell out their beloved France for a few francs. One night I was walking through the club and my piano player, Sam, began playing "As TimeGoes By" and even began singing it at the behest of someone in the club. I remembered telling Sam to never play that song because of the memories it invoked of my time in Paris with a particular girl I met there. I approached Sam ready to scold him for playing said song and he motioned with his eyes and there she stood. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world she happened to walk into mine. It was Ashley. A few years ago we met in Paris, fell in love but the impending war seperated us and now here she was again.Over a bottle of fine French wine we sat down and began talking of old times in Paris. She told me something that hit me in the gut like an out of control locomotive. She said that she married someone but in the same breath said that she was still in love with me.

I had in my possession, don't ask me how I acquired them, two letters of transit allowing the possessor to freely leave the country and return to America with the blessings of the German SS. Ashley said that she would stay behind with me in Casablanca if I would give one of the letters to her husband. It was dangerous for him to remain in Casablanca since he was involved with the French underground and the German SS would sooner or later find him out.

In my mind I pondered the situation. I knew it would be dangerous for Ashley to remain in Casablanca also due to her association with her French underground husband. I told her I'd think about it and we parted company. I got drunk that night. I was so conflicted, being in love with her and wishing to stay with her in Casablanca but realizing how dangerous it would be for her to remain behind with me. As much as it tore my heart out I felt that should do the right thing and give her the other letter of transit so that both she and her husband could safely fly to America.

The next evening Ashley, her husband and I drove to the secluded airport along with my letters of transit. I gave a letter of transit to Ashley's husband and he got on the plane. I could hear the plane's engines start. I gave the othe letter of transit to Ashley and told her to get on the plane also. She looked shocked. I told her it was too dangerous for her to stay behind. She started crying but I insisted she get on the plane. She looked at me with those big now moist beautiful hazel green eyes and I could sense her reluctance. I told her that we'd always have Paris. She got on the plane and I sorrowfully watched it take off as I said to myself, "Here's looking at you, kid."
Replies: >>16643 >>16786
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>>16637
>>16640
Bravo Hans Shekelgruber!
>He took a look at me and asked "Are you circumcised?" I said no. He said "Alright her room is there
lul
Bravo Seabee!
Yours makes me want to watch Casablanca.


thoroughly enjoyed reading these stories, your words painting pictures in my mind.
Replies: >>16647 >>16787
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>>16643
holy shit the board theme

I am pretty hype tbh
>>16637
is this supposed to be from a movie?
Replies: >>16788
Someone PLEASE record the show. I have to sleep for work tomarrow and cant miss another day but i really want to watch the tosh.hoe show!
Replies: >>16670 >>16671
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>>16669
>choosing wage slavery over Ashley
>>16669
Shes gonna reupload the video to her website after but the chat will probably be lost
Replies: >>16672
>>16671
I will screenshot the chat periodically throughout the video and crop out all of Ashley's messages and paste them all for anon to enjoy in one image.
Replies: >>16686
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLSN5VrI350
Cant wait! has anyone else been counting down the days?
Replies: >>16694
Thank goodness!
>>16672
I thought you meant you were going to cut her text out of the chat so we dont have to read her bullshit. Im only here to meet dudes, not some 2 HOLED RETARD.
Replies: >>16689
>>16686
ummm akshelly men have more than two holes sweaty
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Cool new board theme and cool new cytube theme Ashley!

>>16675
YES!!!!!!, well technically no Im not allowed to count down numbers but still with that said I am truly super Nintendo levels of excitement. .
I even left my room and went down to the nearest walmart and purchased a 24 pack of Dr Pepper, a 12 pack of diapers and a 1 gallon bottle of lube for it. Cannot wait!
Lets just say my body is ready, although the cashier didnt seem to really understand when I explained it to her and the black security guard.

Whats everyone going to wear to the awards ceremony? for me, it the usual, heh. My favourite tshit that i wear every day, its picrel. ITS LITERALLY ME
>>16694
>what are you wearing
boxers + sweater + alcoholism
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>>16694
I'm wearing
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>>16694
Replies: >>16703
>>16694
You look like you moderate the r/atheism board on reddit
>>16694
>Nintendo levels of excitement.
This is bait isn't it?
Replies: >>16704
>>16700
knifeman that you?
>>16702
WAHOO! WAHOO!!!
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hell yeah brother
Ash only needs a Bud Light™️ to post 2x as hard
Replies: >>16717
>>16715
I don't get it. Because she would be able to go harder with a penis?
Replies: >>16718
>>16717
less inhibitions
remember when she said she deletes her posts before actually posting?
Replies: >>16719
>>16718
i deal with top cocaine hit an hour bitches i know what i'm thinking here
Replies: >>16720
>>16719
>*top
100€ a g, it's 1 hit me and her
Replies: >>16723
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guys Im too excited i cant sit still
Replies: >>16722
>>16721
lmao
>>16720
soz for being vulgar with money
just wanted to be clear
Just finished watching live on cytube

unironically fucking great. one of ashley's best by far
Replies: >>16727
>>16726
yep
possibly her best work yet and thats just from a first watch
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If I had to describe your professionally done Tosh.Hoe award vid in  one word it would be , bussin. Thanks for a great New Year
The Mad Thad interview was INSANE. I can't believe I'm living in the dimension where Ash and Thad are paling around. Bizarre but so fun to see.
this was fun, thanks Ash
Thanks Ash. Now I have cleaning out my asshole in my head for the next day.
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What a night
Replies: >>16749 >>16763
>>16747
Is that Vista bro?
Replies: >>16752 >>16764
>>16749
Zoomer detected
Replies: >>16753
>>16752
I dont remember what windows looks like
Replies: >>16754
>>16753
I havent touched windows in a long time either but cmon dawg
Ashley is a prophet

https://www.dailywire.com/news/japan-hit-by-7-6-magnitude-earthquake-sparking-tsunami-warnings
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>>16755
Ashley's jokes literally destroyed Japan, I hope she doesn't lose any of her endorsement deals after this.
>>16755
She should start making Amy Schumer jokes next
>>16747
best way to bring in a new year!
and im glad to see Im not the only here who uses piss jars
Replies: >>16764
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>>16749
Nah, is w10

>>16763
confort is first
Replies: >>16765
>>16764
*cumfart
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>dat occasional hint of upper thigh

she knows what she is doing...
Did not expect Thad to appear. I'm glad that we've come full circle with Ash doing her own youtube rewind. Top tier special Ash - truly pushing the boundaries of the art form and the culture. You're like the Kanye of chan culture
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>>16766
Replies: >>16773
>>16768
I clicked on this image, not because I'm a homosexual, but because it's a .gif and I wondered what the animation was. Of course, the man in the chair gets a boner.

The image is the size of a thumbnail, so when you click it, it doesn't resize.

I just spent the last 8 minutes clicking on it over and over really rapidly. I can't stop laughing. His dick flops around with each click. Sometimes it's up, sometimes it's down, sometimes it's off to the side.

Man, I sure do miss flash games, but this will suffice for now
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>>16755
holy shit, I will never (jokingly) talk shit about the Ash ever again out of fear she may set my country on fire or something
She will, however, continue to set something of mine of fire though and thats my heart *eyes with heart emoji*

>>16766
Also, Ashley if you wanted a pearl necklace but couldnt buy one with XMR, you should have just told us and we would all be happy to chip in and give you a nice, big, white, shiny pearl necklace for you to wear for the video.
Replies: >>16777
>>16775
ASHLEY IS PREDICTIVE PROGRAMMING
Replies: >>16782
>>16777
trips of truth cumfirm killing self now
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>>16640
Thanks. I loved your story too. Brought back a lot of memories from that movie. I know it word by word. I sometimes recite some of the famous lines to myself. I Think This Is The Beginning Of A Beautiful Friendship.
Replies: >>16794
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>>16643
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>>16659

Yes and No. It is not from any specific movie but a combination of many movies and games and a bit of history.
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>>16755
Where is Tahiti? Is he safe? Is he alright?
I'm pretty sure Tahiti is fine because he's probably in Singapore with a prostitute
Replies: >>16792
>>16791
Saw him in Thailand the other day...
Replies: >>16795
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>>16786
Yeah, it's a classic
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>repeatably cums in your waifu 

>>16792
>Saw him in Thailand the other day...
I saw him IN a Thai ladyboi the other day...
Replies: >>16801
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>>16795
>Ashrey-chan's faceu when Tahiti putsu his itty-bitty tiny smerry asian phimosis cokku in her
Replies: >>16806 >>16812
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>>16801
Ashley in the throws of an orgasm........

https://youtu.be/bETtXlGUBWQ
>>16801
needs moar feet
Replies: >>16815 >>16819
>>16812
Getting cucked by raisin bran socks ;(
Replies: >>16819
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>>16812
>>16815
she was too lazy to shave her feet hair for a freakin awards show
Replies: >>16832
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Say what you will about her feet, but that nose, that nose, my kingdom for that nose.
>>16819
Yes dont forgget the ones one the bottom of your feet Ashley
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If anyone wants, I screenrecorded the premier with chat, so you can relive it over and over again... like a weird fever dream that you never want to wake up from... or something idk.

Its hosted on WeTransfer and the link WILL EXPIRE ON JANUARY 10TH
so you got basically 5 days to download it unless the beard owner hosts it on her website

https://we.tl/t-pZCqFobvli
Replies: >>16837 >>16839
>>16836
Thanks, now I have to keep my cringe comments to a minimum for the next live show.
Replies: >>16843
>>16836
>how activate the subtitles?
>be american
kek poor omar. This was such a good time though
Replies: >>16843
>>16837
no I need your cringe comments to out cringe my cringe comments and my comments are pretty cringe
>>16839
lol and poor worm-faggot 
I think he is Russian and was watching this from his phone outside in the cold at a bus stop
Replies: >>16844
>>16843
>I think he is Russian and was watching this from his phone outside in the cold at a bus stop
Now that is dedication. I hope he's still alive and the Russian government didn't off him after they saw the gay porno Senate Rearing Room on his phone.
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>Mad Thad if Ashley hadnt have given him the award
Replies: >>16847
>>16845
Did you see how that fucker olympic hurtled over that thing? Even when theyre in court theyre impressively athletic.
Replies: >>16851
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>>16847
Some are and, LOL, some aren't.

https://youtube.com/shorts/Chb2iMGV2q8
no homo pls
Ash is a bit of a psychic imo
Remember what she said about the Wojack vs Pepe?
Replies: >>16873
>>16864
No what did she say?
Replies: >>16874
>>16873
Pepe would win
Wojak kind of no rizz nignog
Replies: >>16875
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>>16874
*forgot pic
>>16766
Already did nude fake of her, not posting, unless I put a dick on it, which I won't. :(
>>16878
share it faggot
Replies: >>16907
>>16878
post it you homo
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>>16878
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Is it too late to state
That New Years Eve was great
No fuss, no muss
Just Ashley and us
She wore a sexy black dress
Quite revealing I guess
Showed a bit of thigh
My, my, my
Next New Years Eve
Let's make it a date
Don't hesitate
You certainly don't want to be late
Who knows what she'll wear
Just be there or be square
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>>16879
Edited from the text. *comes out from a mental state after being threatened*
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>>16907
Don't know why I edited the face.
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>>16907
Fuck off Ben
Replies: >>16915
>>16911
Cool
I will have my vengeance, Beniamin, you will suffer for your deciet. I will drag you into the depths of the hell you have condemned me to.
>>16910
Haha ben likes tranny porn
Replies: >>16921
>>16918
It is a curse. But I like females without dicks more.
Replies: >>16928
>>16921
many such cases among us ashlings...
>>16907
I thought you meant a nude of her in the dress you fucking retard ben
Replies: >>16930
>>16929
You could say we've ben let down.
Replies: >>16931 >>16934
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>>16930
>we've ben let down.
holy kek
>>16930
I would say, nothing ben happening lately. And we went on with our dark days in our rooms, no goes outside, tsk tsk.
>>17157
I definitely read all of this. Thanks for a great non ai generated story anon
Replies: >>17159
>>17158
Much appreciated, my friend!
I’m glad you find them enjoyable because not only it raises my hope but also makes me proud for entertaining others.
Replies: >>17161
>>17159
Godbless
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>>17157
Cool story bro. Don't hang up your pen for lack of recognition. This board likes talented writers. I assure you that the guys enjoy your story but feel no need to compliment. I just finished another of my on going episodes of Ashley and me which I'll probably post tonight or tomorrow night. I get great pleasure in writing the episodes and whether I receive accolades or not is immaterial. It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, "It's not the destination, it's the journey". 

How come you didn't use your nom de plume, Hans Shekelgruber, in your story?
Replies: >>17165
>>17162
Hey SeaBee
Looking forward to your story!
I’m glad you enjoyed it
About my nom de guerre I don’t know. I thought messaging boards were about anonymity and thought maybe other anons may find my use of a name an odd act.
Since you’re the big kahuna here, I’ll take your word if you say it’s all the same with or without a name and use that name again.
>>17165
I love gay sex use me as a cum dumpster
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>>17165
>I thought messaging boards were about anonymity
Yeah
Replies: >>17171
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>>17167
>>17169
Point taken.
:(
Replies: >>17181
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>>17165
After my enlistment ended in the Seabees in 2014 and I discovered Ashley on Youtube and later her board on 8chan I've always name  fagged as did some guys on 8chan. I always was inclined to take responsibility for my posts, good bad or indifferent. Others prefer to remain Anon and that's to be respected. Whether you want to continue to namefag is a decision only you can make.

I appreciate you calling me the big kahuna and I have done some surfing but consider myself a Grom. There's only one big kahuna on this board and that's Ashley. 

Keep writing, diversity on this board is what makes it interesting.
>>17171
Lol how about using a name for special occasions like when you post stories?
Replies: >>17187
>>17157
keep posting your stories Hans!
I read and enjoy each of them a lot even if Im sometimes too lazy to reply to them. I like how you attach a related picture to them as well. What do you use for that?

As Seabee (TYFYS) said, and as someone who does it myself as well, its a lot fun to make creative works based on Ashley and her universe of characters.

I love the cliff hanger ending on this one, curious to see where the story is going to go
Replies: >>17187
>>17181
Yeah, that's also a good idea.
I think I'll use my moniker whenever I post a new story.

>>17183
Thanks, anon.
I appreciate your feedback.
I use Bing AI for the images. It's easy to use unless you ask for non-PC stuff. For non-PC stuff you have to get creative with your wording of the picture you are describing to it for the AI to create them.
https://www.bing.com/images/create

I'll post the next parts of this story and the other story soon.
>>17157
nice story! ashley is well mannered for once. but I also like when ashley is more rambunctious, bold, bratty.
Replies: >>17203
>>17199
Thanks, anon.
I’ll consider that in the next chapter.
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                                                         MI CASA ES SU CASA

INTRODUCTION:

As whence we last wrote, Ashleybought the house next to mine. She seems intent spending more time at my house than her house. I treasure my solitude immensely but in Ashley's case I'll make an exception.

The story continues.......
  I pulled into my garage and went into the house. I was greeted by the smooth jazzy bluesy sound of the late Bobby Caldwell on my 1980s record player that I had recently picked up for cheap. He was the epitome of cool especially when he wore suits that appeared to be from the 1930s. Ash and I had an appreciation for him so I knew she was some where in the house. I walked into the kitchen as she was preparing our dinner. She had her back to me and was slowly swinging her little butt back and forth to the music. She turned slightly and gave me that side glance that for the life of me I don't know why I find so erotic. She said, "Hi Seabee". I slipped my arms around her waist. She felt so soft and warm after a day of me handling sheetrock and hard unyielding 2 x 4's. She asked how my day was and I gently kissed her on her neck and shoulder. She giggled and remarked, "I'll give you a half hour to stop".

I told her that I was headed to take a shower. She implored me not to, since she found the scent of my sweat after a hard day's work quite erotic. I lifted my arm, smelled my pit and told her that she may like it but I don't. She conceded reluctantly and told me to go take a shower while she finishes preparing our dinner. It was just about ready to pop into the oven for 40 minutes.

I entered the bathroom, turned the shower on and stripped to my birthday suit. I entered the shower, the hot water felt soothing on my stressed muscles and put me in a somewhat trance like state. This state was interrupted by the shower door sliding open. I looked for the cause and there she stood in all her glory. Her small perfect and pert breasts and little pink nipples gave me something to write home about. And those long and slender legs culminating at the most perfect little butt, well dare I say more. She looked at me with her expressive large doe eyes. She's the only girl I've ever known that can literally speak with her eyes. I knew what she was saying and I invited her into the shower. She stepped into the shower allowing the hot water to cascade over her petite taught body. I was beginning to feel like a volcano ready to erupt. 

The fog from the hot water enveloped her body making her appear as an apparition of some beautiful sentient mythical creature unyielding to the vagaries of time and space. She stood on her tip toes and gently placed her slender arms around my neck pulling me softly to her level causing our lips to meet. I could feel her moist hot tongue forcefully probing and successfully entering my waiting mouth. The battle of the tongues began and I let her win. I slid my hands down her back finally ending at that precious little butt that felt so tight and firm yet soft, an anomaly I thought.

I moved my hand between her smooth thighs and began probing her houses of the holy. I began toying with her now hard clitoris and could hear her soft moans. She gently grabbed my erect member and slowly slid it inside her.

Slowly our rhythms began to sync and within minutes we both let out a loud moan allowing each other to know that we had achieved nirvana. I slowly pulled out and felt a sudden twitch in my member telling me to go for doubs but I suppresed the feeling since the shower water began to run cool. Note to self, install a larger hot water tank.

I shut the water off and we stepped out and grabbed some towels and dried each other off.We went into the bedroom and I put on fleece pants and a tee shirt. Ashley dug out some black yoga pants of hers that I had no idea that she had placed there. She slipped on those tight yoga pants and I just couldn't take my eyes off the exquisite camel toe those tight pants created. Ashley saw me looking and said, "Seabee, you're such a perv." and gave me her patented little smirk. She put on a Beavis and Butthead tee shirt to complete her ensemble.and we ventured into the kitchen.

The oven dinged letting us know that the vegan lasagna was ready and might I say that so were we since we had worked up quite an appetite. After the lasagna we indulged in some apple pie that she had made. Quite delicious I might add. Ashley asked if it would be OK to build some shelves in the spare room so that she could put some of her many knick knacks in there. I told her that mi casa es su casa. She also asked if it would be OK to keep her pugs at my house and I again said that it would be OK.

I asked Ashley what she would like to do after dinner, watch a movie, play video games? Ashley said that while I was at work she put some fresh satin sheets on the bed. So I asked rhetorically, "So you want to go to sleep?" She looked at me quite indignantly and said that sometimes I can be so naive saying that she was ready for round 2.

  EPILOGUE

I told her that she was a little sex machine and she said that it was my fault, that I was an addiction. That was no surprise to me since all girls seem to blame everything on the guy. It was then that I realized that we both have an addiction.....to each other.

                                                      END
>>17227
I definetly read all of this, thank you seabee for this beloved treat I like the part where that thing happened and I took the time to type this out in response, once again ty
Replies: >>17308
>>17227
Great story, SeaBee
I enjoyed reading every line and couldn’t help cracking a smile every time.
I like the how old saying “There’s no accountability for women.” was felt in this story. Heh. You can’t even have good sex without being blamed for something.
Reading your stories makes life look much easier and better. In contrast to my own life I mean and reality in general.
Replies: >>17308
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>>17242
>>17246
Thanks

Glad you enjoyed the episode. It's a continuing saga, just don't know when I'll be inspired to do the next one, stay tuned.
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Hi, I'm using a Tripcode now since some people have forced my hand to use one. 
My poem
Dedicated to: Ashley (Duh!)
By: Yours truly

I’ve knelt at her altar praying for days
Waiting for a sign to see what she says
Her name on my lips, dry as a bone
Will Ashley ever pick up the phone?
I’ve cleansed her pedestal with my falling tears
As I’ve kissed her marble feet showing no fears
O, blessed one do answer my calls
The Reaper’s standing as the hour falls
Sharpening his scythe measured against my soul
Taunting our mortality’s his eternal goal
As he brings down his scythe to reap what I’ve sown
Suddenly a blinding light against odds is shone.
His scythe disintegrates to a powdered dust
Her sword of salvation so sharp and just
She comes to my aid, saved by the bell
Sparing my soul from the flames of hell
Her voice is music so golden and sweet
Every word exchange’s an eternal treat
Sing to me Ashley your holy psalm
Soothe my soul with its opioid calm
Your laughter’s gospel being sang by choir
Sought by mortals and immensely desired
A word with thee’s a trip to heaven and back
So swiftly yet joyous be loss of time’s track
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>>17227
You know how to write one hell of a story, Seabee.
Replies: >>17430
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>>17423
Thanks, Anon, I appreciate that,. Glad you enjoyed it.
>>17419
muy bueno!
how long did that take to write?
Replies: >>17456
>>17433
Gracias, amigo.
It took me about an hour to come up with the idea as I was highly inspired yesterday and then I started writing and perfecting the rhyme and meter.
I decided to create the AI images as I was half-way through the poem.
>>17419
Ahhh poem SOO good
Replies: >>17466
>>17465
Thanks, anon.
Send all tripfags to the showers.
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>>17545
I'm probably wrong but I think the German soldiers in the dark room is a metaphor for the figurative darkness that settled over Europe when Nazi Germany began its crusade of world dominance. The light at the snd of the tunnel is Ashley singing attached song at the Moulin Rouge Cafe, her way of supporting the Resistance.

https://youtu.be/iwwN3KPft1Q

Cool story, bro.
Replies: >>17552
>>17551
Your comments are always heartwarming and appreciated, SeaBee!
Although you made a very good and competent assumption about my metaphor but unfortunately, that is not what I meant by the soldiers in the dark room, friend. It is something much more recent and familiar to all of us here.
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I wish for the pain to end
needle and thread a broken heart does not mend
I wish for the pain to end
This soul is tired, it does not care where it will be sent
I wish for the pain to end
This game of charades I can no more attend
I wish for the pain to end
I try so hard but there's no fulfillment
I wish for the pain to end
Life on earth I often resent
I wish for the pain to end
The rules of life will not amend
I wish for the pain to end
These happy ruses no more can I pretend
I wish for the pain to end
The will of life to my pleas does not bend
I wish for the pain to end
pain created this poem but I can no more contend
>>17553
iktf bro. best thing to do about life is to stop giving a shit. life is fake anyway
Replies: >>17555 >>17568
>>17554
"How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?" - Jaden Smith
Replies: >>17568
>>17553
If this poem is truly representative of how you feel, I might have a solution to these very serious problems. Mental anguish does NOT have to be part of the human condition. Here's all you have to do: stop being a little bitch. It's that easy.
Replies: >>17568
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>>17553
I hope the poem is pure fiction and not representative of actualities in your life.
Replies: >>17568
>>17554
>>17555
>>17558
LOL. The poems and stories I write are a way for me to let off steam. There's nothing literal to them. It is not to be taken as a statement. I just felt down back then and when I'm down or excited, I write poetry. When I posted that it was late at night where I am and after that I slept like a log. Now it's early morning and I couldn't feel better. See? writing all that helped me get it off my chest and now it's like I was never down in the first place. It's a great release. You should try it sometime.

>>17561
Cheers, SeaBee. Yes, it is pure fiction. I was just letting off steam since I was a little down. Things are a little tough rn, but no more tough than what the average Joe goes through. Now I feel great again. No need to worry, my friend.
Replies: >>17573
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>>17568
It's early morning where you are, so you're not from the U.S.?
Replies: >>17574 >>17578
>>17573
Idk what youre talking about but its 10am in the US right now
Replies: >>17583 >>17586
>>17573
No, sir. I'm not. But don't hold that against me.
>>17574
Uh I don't know what country you're from but your post is from 5 hours ago and it's only a quarter past 10 right now in the Upper Southwestern Standard Timezone daylight savings of course (USWSTDST). Who doesn't know this?
>>17574
no its 3 AM
Replies: >>17587 >>17588
>>17586
What? Its 1am in the US right now
Replies: >>17588
>>17586
>>17587
ummm ackshelly it's 4 AM rn
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