/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

>>6050 (OP) 
wack.

chowdah.webm
[Hide] (12.3MB, 640x480, 07:36)

This is the only ashleyj recipe I know

5456431611667.png
[Hide] (3.4MB, 1382x964)

Green eggs and ham

>>6085
I was going to cook myself a burger for supper until I noticed the patty smelled funny and saw some fuzzies starting to develop. Instead I had left over chicken wings and bread and butter pickles.

9d7a28a58df1a12aa71329aa81ddd7f5fbfe730aea7825368591258a62f52e02.png
[Hide] (162.6KB, 417x300)

Anyone use https://based.cooking/ ?

>>6178
yes luke smith we know youre here

>>6178
This is cool Ty

>>6178
Eat like Luke Smith, think like Luke Smith. Soon a Thinkpad will materialize in your hands

>>6178
How many recipes will it take for my head to start enlarging to beluga size?

bursting_with_flavor.jpg
[Hide] (501.8KB, 1610x2560)

Funny having a food thread here when Ashley basically eats hamster food at this point.

ashley_feed.png
[Hide] (4.2MB, 1610x2560)

>>6205
fixed

>>6205
Which is why we need to post food porn that will make her snap out of her vegan diet and start binge eating on sausage pizzas and cheeseburgers before her malnourishment warps her mind into believing she really is a metalhead boy from the 80s and have her breasts surgically removed and make self-inflicting cuts on her face thus creating her persona as 'Punished Ashton'.

bf2.png
[Hide] (528KB, 1014x819)

>>6212
>tfw you will never be a metalhead from 1986 eating sausage pizza while playing guitar with your bros

040A3FA5-97EE-490D-8154-85BF79C88C23.jpeg
[Hide] (296.6KB, 1175x1762)

I wonder if 80s pizza tasted better because there weren’t weird ingredients and fake oils involved.

>>6218
One slice of za kept you full for weeks

37ef00dc330f19cf62f2efc2d9635b8bfec4e2e8a538b1d95293f53bf7cf6f02.png
[Hide] (250.4KB, 550x588)

Organic oatmeal

Your choice of protein powder

Optional: A smidge of ghee butter for fat.

JoesMixPile.png
[Hide] (366.2KB, 600x400)

Organic bird seed

Your choice of suet and custom feeder.

Optional: A small puddle of stagnant water for a bird bath.

568876543457.png
[Hide] (1.4MB, 1029x838)

>>6215
It was a different time

>>6218
It was probably worse since food, hygiene and health standards/regulations were worse

>>6232
Is this actually true though? I feel like in the past 40 years standards have dropped

>>6221
dude, this anon just multi horse flag posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
HOW?????????????

Horse meat tastes really nice, HOWEVER, if its only responsibly sourced from an area in which WILD horses are destroying the natural eco/bio diversification

>>6233
40 years is a pretty massive gap, so unless you can prove otherwise, Im pretty sure as humans we learn more as time passes. So we insure that the food we consume is safe to eat.
HOWEVER...
That would depend on each country so there is no flat yes or no answer to your question . Some governments care more about what food goes inside you Vs profit.. etc etc

also, have you actually eaten enough food from 40 years ago to even quantify and thus present that question? you said and I quote "I feel like in the past 40 years standards have dropped"
How old are you? Or did you get that from whatever media is controlling your mind?

@Seabee its cool if its you (thankyou for your service)

horse-hamburger.0.jpg
[Hide] (193.8KB, 1400x1400)

Never had horse meat but I know it's a thing in some cultures. There is a butcher shop in town that does exotic meats. I will see if they have any equestrian delights. It probably tastes like venison.

>>6236
go ahead, retired racing horses have to end up somewhere, so why not better place than your plate!

>>6235
> Im pretty sure as humans we learn more as time passes. So we insure that the food we consume is safe to eat

In general food is safer to eat but not necessarily as healthy, seed oils were still a problem back then, and thats industrial goo with flavoring you can link to a rise in heart disease. Simpler "whole" foods with minimal ingredients are typically healthier and as time passes food is made more complex for no reason, soy is in almost every non-whole food, to the point that hypothyroidism would be an epidemic if the government never came up with iodized salt. Humans do learn more as time passes but only to endlessessly complicate and distort the world away from its purest original form Also not the guy youre replying to thats probably Seabee

>>6238
>iodized salt
what is this and why is it bad? i recently stopped eating it because i was like wtf is that? i just get sea salt now.

>>6240
Its just salt with iodine added, iodine is good for you since it increases metabolism. Soy decreases metabolism so iodine was put in salt to couteract it. Similar reasoning behind adding flouride to tap water to prevent tooth decay

>>6236
Fly to Mongolia, there probably half of all national dishes are based on horse meat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_5yt5IX38I

sc5Dxh3G3Iw.jpg
[Hide] (1.3MB, 1620x2160)

>>6218
You can make your own pizza. Buy dough and other ingredients to your liking and bake in the oven. I prefer to do this, instead of buying processed food. Or go to bakeries and buy fresh pastries there.
Here is an ugly goyslop i concocted yesterday, then threw in the refrigerator (I just had to figure out how to get rid of the extra sausage before it goes bad over time). This is the limit of my skills and resources, but it will do for a banal satisfaction of hunger.

c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)

>>6235>>6238

It's not me, I ALWAYS namefag and I'm not old enough to have eaten food from 40 years ago however when I was in the Seabees I had some MREs that were a few years old and still good, they have a shelf life of about 10 years. Start buying MREs because we'll probably be going to war with China in a few years.

No need to thank me for my service but I appreciate it.

>>6236
>>6242
I also want to recommend that you try kumis (кумыс), this is an alcoholic drink based on horse milk, popular in Kazakhstan and other countries of Central Asia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kumis

>>6248
hehehe horse coomie milk

>>6248 if you love horse jizz so much then go to  >>>/horselovers/

repost.webm
[Hide] (1.6MB, 720x480, 00:21)

popeye's chicken sandwich

>>6238
>In general food is safer to eat but not necessarily as healthy

what do you mean by "safer to eat" without including healthier to eat, what... If its safer, then therefore by its definition it should be healther to eat no? 
Im sure there were far more health risks/dangers of eating food 40 years ago then there is today. Yes, there are some risks in eating some foods (insert some unpeered reviewed blog post by someone with no degree in food science here because they did their own research btw), however those risks have decreased over the years to the point were thanks to overwhelmingly healthier food, nowadays then ever, the average life expectancy has increased in part to healthier diets.

in b4 some big conspiracy

in b4 citing some non food related issues like micro-plastics

>>6248
how shitfaced will this get me?

>>6255
Considering most people are on the goyslop, sugar infused, corn syrup riddled, GMO, pesticide, artificial flavor, carcinogenic color and preservatives diet, the food is far worse for your average person now. Cancer is through the roof along with diseases. The low life expectancy, say living to only 40 in previous eras, is largely a myth. The low life expectancy average was due to many births resulting in deaths for the infants or mothers. Yes, we can cure illnesses better than before, but generally the average American is not eating healthy by any means. Quality of life is depleting, most Americans you'll see are overweight or will be overweight by age 40. Obese by 60. Today's mass produced food is far worse than it's ever been. Just look at any food label and you'll see. If you're outside of the US, maybe it's different for you. But here the food is a joke.

>>6255
>how shitfaced will this get me?

It is a weak alcoholic drink, from 0.5% to 4.5% of ethyl alcohol. But in the post-soviet space there is a stereotype that Kazakhs drink a lot of kumis, and get drunk from it like Russians from vodka

>>6255
By safer I mean food is less likelly to poison you nowadays, by healthier i mean if it will make you feel good. For example, a thousand years ago you couldnt go walk into a mcdonalds for a big mac, the alternative could probably be something poisonous, but  if not its healthier than the big mac because its simpler. Most modern foods are like the Big Mac, safe but also a mishmash of ingredients that would never exist in nature and will give you diabetes. Simple foods like plain fruits and vegatables have existed for thousands of years, you're body is designed to eat them.

>>6221
>Organic bird seed

（・⊝・）

>>6268
Back off lil birdy! That's Ashley's lunch

d563ab3da1b515bb35_Scribe-_Menahem_-_The_Birds'_Head_Haggadah.jpg
[Hide] (214.7KB, 1280x941)

>>6269
Ashley will be reborn as a woodpecker in her next life. She will knock on wood and eat bugs, and the golden billion griffins will eat organic bird seeds.

>>6269
she can peck my wood if ya know what I mean

sorry, I couldnt resist

>>6262
>Simple foods like plain fruits and vegatables have existed for thousands of years, you're body is designed to eat them.

Raw organic unprocessed food is what I've found works for me. Broccoli with some olive oil, salt, and pepper slaps! Throw it in the oven for 410° till it gets a lil crispy. Highly recommend.

>>6302
Sounds awesome, I unironically love broccoli.

Red potatoes are highly underrated. Similar recipe to yours. Get a bag of those little red potatoes, wash them, and cut them into quarters. Toss the quarters in olive oil, italian seasoning, salt and pepper. I think it took something like 30 minutes at 400 before they had that little bit of crispiness, maybe a hair longer. Really really good.

>>6303
I bought a bag of red potatoes and they smelled rotten awful. Found out my dad was shoving them up his ass and putting them back in the bag. Will this make the potatoes taste better?

>>6304
No, throw them away.

>>6303

Hell yea brother

>>6304
Yes. I believe that's called "ass blanching". Keep going.

>>6302
>>6303
I eat plain but have no taste, usually just canned food since its so cheap. Often I just "drink" it from the can to feel like a hobo, you can even buy it without BPA sometimes

last_ripe_peach.png
[Hide] (399.7KB, 1058x652)

>>6304
Your dad knows what's up his ass. it's potatoes.

dinner.jpg
[Hide] (425KB, 1323x510)

Made some spaghetti bolognese. Easy to make, tastes good, plus there is extra that I can put into the freezer and reheat it for another meal.
The garlic bread is just store bought. I bought some garlic butter once to try and make my own garlic bread, but imo it isnt as good as the premade stuff.

>>6317
Looks good. I recently learned eating noodles for dinner can help you get sleepy. There's some science to it, but I can't recall exactly why it does that.

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/258493/perfect-potato-salad/

This is what I’m making today

>>6329
Sweet! Show us when you're done.

whataburger-sweet-spicy-bacon-burger.jpg
[Hide] (38.6KB, 636x334)

Just had me a cheeseburger today, it was delicious. Vegans!

>>6317
I don't blame you. Good garlic bread takes time and fresh ingredients. I'll try and make some tomorrow and post it.

553642575722.png
[Hide] (3.1MB, 1796x1013)

>>6246
my first attempt at deep dish pizza, it was alright.

mjvi0ol0s5i3c6ikolql.jpg
[Hide] (1.6MB, 2251x3000)

>>6490
>tfw I lack motivation and patience to make something this delicious

>>6490
Do you butter the crust? My mouths watering over here

>>6490
Damn not going to lie this has some tradition old world pizza vibes. Very nice. Cut one open and take a pic.

I will be making the garlic bread tonight but it's gonna be a few hours

>>6492
The dough can be a pain in the ass if you're making it from scratch, it's also very messy since you're pouring flour all over your countertop so it doesn't stick. Now I just buy dough from a pizza place to save myself the time and hassle. It's still a lot of fun having a few drinks and cooking stuff while listening to music or watching Anthony Bourdain in the background. 
>>6493
No but I thought about doing a garlic crust for my next one.
>>6495
Thanks, I'll take a pic of the insides next time. Sounds good, post a pic when you're done.

>>6497
>The dough can be a pain in the ass if you're making it from scratch, it's also very messy since you're pouring flour all over your countertop so it doesn't stick.
I would bake way more if this wasn't a thing. I even have a big cutting board but flour still ends up everywhere. Plus my dad says his buddies at work make fun of him when they see flour hand prints on the back of his jeans.

par_par_bread_a.jpg
[Hide] (305.7KB, 1284x1520)

par_par_bread_b.jpg
[Hide] (278.1KB, 1284x1703)

Here's some before and after pics of what turned out to actually be parsley bread

>>6511
Mmm, Im starvin for some carb'in, looks good anon

1656592726454(1).jpg
[Hide] (143.1KB, 1024x1020)

>>6507
Wait hold up

>>6511
Oh lord I'm finna buss

0c8392127c4b754fc50724ce04cbb153ef640d187e1d8bf1fcd82ecabc0230d5.webm
[Hide] (2.2MB, 576x720, 00:18)

>>6511
I would 100% put that in my top hole. Looks great. How was it?

>>6559
>top hole
This made my top hole laugh

pizza-pizza.jpg
[Hide] (254.7KB, 751x445)

>>6492
Just start off with something simple.
One of my favourite meals for junk food Friday's is a simple cheese and salami pizza.
Pic related
All the ingredients is just from the supermarket, so its nothing difficult. Just slap on some paste to your base and sprinkle whatever toppings you like and wack into an oven for a few minutes.

90f661f3aa0041425a06fc9c7b45190462264e664026a3e73d2d36d0b8675165.jpg
[Hide] (126.3KB, 1024x957)

Did you guys know about this shit?

>>6868
This is why Im so scared of processed food, no idea whats really in there

>>6868
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbMqIB6_vcY

lukesmith.mp3
[Hide] (335.2KB, 00:33)

>>6178
dude this guy gets unhinged on his podcast, totally different personality than on his youtube videos. audio related

>>6960
This is obviously fake, Luke Smith would never say something so outrageous.

 sent from my ButtPlug 

>>6960
Lel nice I just got GPT4 with alpaca which takes the woke rails. Was thinking of making an Ashley chatbot but I keep getting a memory error. Meh even without the restrictions I still think it’s pretty lame. Might mess around with it tomorrow

tumblr_m7weaqwGax1ral7eeo1_1280.jpg
[Hide] (436.7KB, 1043x1626)

I wonder if ash likes watermelon?

tahiti.jpg
[Hide] (3.3KB, 55x55)

>>7226
watermelon so good to eat on hot day!






_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_
Find yourself where the world gets lost.
Who You?: I am Tahiti. I rove vacation! 🗿🍹
<Ristening to: https://yt.funami.tech/watch?v=Dr-ti8MEnTk 🎵🕺
>Location: Maldives 🌏✈️
_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_

>>7226
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-eitsutpOc

Who_Said_Watermelon.jpg
[Hide] (339KB, 490x784)

>>7232
Now i really want some watermelon, cuzz.

>>7226
watermelon is delicious and so is fried chicken. Never understood how you could use that as an insult to stereotype purple people

onionbroc.jpg
[Hide] (1.2MB, 1512x1527)

So I tried making Ashley's onion thing she was talking about on cytube from memory. Basically I just cooked the onion, rice, and broccoli separately then combined it all in the same sauce pan the onion was in with a little broth and salt/pepper/garlic. This wasn't part of what she said but I drizzled some oyster sauce on top which turned out really nice. 

Thank you, Ashley. Pls gib a pl8 r8.

>>8408
That looks good. I never tried oyster sauce before, I'll have to try it out next time I'm cooking something with rice. Speaking of rice, I want to try making sushi again since my last failed attempt many years ago. I tried using the stove method but I totally fucked it up and didn't bother making it since then. I have a rice cooker now so I'm going to give it another go because ordering sushi can get expensive.

Optimized-kokuho-1.jpg
[Hide] (53.9KB, 395x546)

>>8429
Good eye my guy. That is quality nip rice

Untitled.jpg
[Hide] (144.6KB, 779x608)

>>8408
needs some chicken!

if you want to go vegan with it still, add some pic related chopped into it

>>8450
Plant based meat is not healthy to eat.

48564135741.jpg
[Hide] (186.5KB, 850x850)

*crunch*
mmm, goddamn!

8EE9B6B4-9FF0-4FB1-BB04-B455150F9E5A.jpeg
[Hide] (967.1KB, 1175x1143)

>>8460
He has been riding for days without water

>Agua...por favor...

>>8463
that's my favorite mooby

food4.png
[Hide] (432.6KB, 537x426)

food3.png
[Hide] (404KB, 537x426)

food2.png
[Hide] (396.1KB, 537x426)

food.png
[Hide] (342.3KB, 537x426)

>>8408
It looks good but smaller than what I make and I don't mix it together. Here's what I do:

Rice: Take 1 1/2 cup rice with 2 cups water and let sit in a pot for 15 minutes with no heat. Cover the pot. Bring the water to a soft boil. Turn heat down to simmer for 20 minutes. Then take off the heat and let it sit for 10 minutes. Fluff the rice with a fork.

Onions: Cut 47 small pearl onions' ends off. Dispose of onion ends in trash can. Put water in a small sauce pan (about 1.5" water) and bring to a rolling boil. Place 47 small pearl onions into the pot and let sit in the boiling water for 3 minutes. Drain the onion water with a strainer over sink, capturing the 47 small onions in the strainer. Put the onions in a small bowl filled with cold water. The cold water makes the onion peels slide off easy, so all this work is just to peel the onions. After you get the skins off, dispose of undesired onion skin in trash can. Heat a pan with olive oil on medium heat. Once desired medium heat temperature is acquired, dump 47 small onions onto the pan and stir occasionally with spatula. Cover eyes when dumping onions, because the oil and water creates a firework effect, and this may result in minor injury to your epidermis and/or eyes. Take the 47 small onions off the pan using your spatula and put the 47 small onions onto a clean plate of your choosing. Sprinkle a very very generous amount of salt onto the onions.

Broccoli: Put the desired amount of broccoli into a strainer and hold the strainer under hot water to thaw the broccoli. Once broccoli is no longer frozen, you can cook it. Use the same onion pan, pour more olive oil into the pan. Cook the broccoli on medium heat for a few minutes until browned. Put the broccoli onto the same plate that has your 47 small onions on it. Sprinkle a small amount of salt onto your broccoli.

Butter: The only unhealthy vegan item I do consume is vegan butter. The ingredients list on the one I get is very short and not terribly unhealthy, mostly made of soy. For men soy contains a lot of estrogen and may not be healthy to consume every day for men. For women, consuming more estrogen is apparently good and wards away potential cancers such as tit cancer. I dip my broccoli into the butter then consume the broccoli. I mix in olive oil and salt into my butter prior to consumption.

Timing: Cook rice first but when you're waiting the 15 minutes when the rice is sitting with no heat, cut the ends of your 47 small onions off at this time. Mid way through the rice cooking (it cooks for 20 minutes so when it's cooked for 10 minutes) boil the onion water and proceed with the rest of the onion cooking. When you wait the 3 minutes for your onions to deskin in the boiling water, thaw your broccoli at this time. After you cook your onions in the pan with olive oil, cook the broccoli in the same pan afterwards.

Aside: I recommend buying a miniature garbage can from the Dollar Tree (technically items purchased at the dollar tree are $1.25 plus tax, which is why it's more accurate to refer to it as the Dollar Twenty Five Tree). You can easily dispose of the onion waste in the miniature garbage can without having to walk to your nearest trash can in between making your 47 small onions.

Aside #2: I do not make 1 1/2 cups rice, I cut this portion down to 3/4 cups rice and the correct amount of water according to the rice-water ratio. I also pour a small amount of soy sauce onto my rice. I do not use the full amount that is displayed in my photo.

Aside #3: I typically eat this same meal every day. I usually eat one meal a day, sometimes I will snack later in the day. It depends on how stretched out my stomach is. If my stomach is stretched out from eating more and more, I will not be satisfied on this meal alone for the entire day. If I restrain any snacking habits, my stomach will shrink and I can easily be sustained on this meal alone for an entire day.

Aside #4: There are not 47 small onions in my pictures because I only had 30 onions left. I had to fully discard of one (1) onion due to its insides rotting. I only have 29 small onions for this meal, which is mildly satisfying but not ideal.

cookbook.png
[Hide] (19KB, 645x346)

onions.jpeg
[Hide] (46.9KB, 602x421)

This looks amazing! I wish they had shallots/small onions at Aldi. I'll have to go to a normie grocery store to get them. Anyone going to take the Eat Like Ashley Challenge?

a91489fec18de2104b28a9e4f9a5a8ae628c6d2b2696f2c8d4726831521c0167.jpg
[Hide] (119.8KB, 812x514)

e30062392044a8f1e16b46ca39b83fd41e97c724b64152a6350d8f030c12a077.jpg
[Hide] (13.7KB, 190x190)

>>8476
Chef Ash Ramsey would call me an idiot sandwich for this one, but whatever. I used spinach since I had no broccoli and regular onions for my own version. It looks like garbo compared to Ash's true version, but it's MMM MMM SO GOOT. Thanks Ash!!!

violin.mp3
[Hide] (56.3KB, 00:03)

ded.png
[Hide] (280.9KB, 787x506)

>>8478

>>8479
I 100% deserve that. I took no effort whatsoever to make it look remotely appetizing. You sure could get a lot of Ashley points one uping me bois. I set the bar pretty low

>>8480
An attempt was made and that’s what counts. I thought Ashley points we’re a bad thing like points on your license

>>8480
I don't think yours looks bad at all. If you put it in some pristine white plate you could easily sell it for $60 at some rich people cafe. I would eat your food as long as you didn't taint it.

c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)

345438526_970806580931102_3146735133881964892_n.jpg
[Hide] (51.7KB, 526x528)

Seperate a head of broccoli into florets
Seperate a head of cauliflower into florets
Put broccoli and cauliflower in a colander
Boil a pot of water and place colander over boiling water and steam the broccoli and cauliflower for 5 minutes or until tender to your liking. Steaming preserves the nutrients as oposed to frying
Place broccoli and cauliflower in a large aluminum pan you can buy at the market
Heat some oil of your choice in a pan and saute half a chopped onion of your choice and a small container of cut up mushrooms. (Mushrooms satisfy your taste for meat)
Add onion and mushrooms to the broccoli and cauliflower
Mix a can of cream of mushroom soup with half a can of water and pour over broccoli and cauliflower
Sprinkle a pack of shreaded cheddar cheese (or cheese of your choice) over broccoli and cauliflower 
Bake in 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes  until cheese is melted.
Makes about 6 servings. I invented this recipe about a year ago since I like broccoli and cauliflower so I figured why not combine them both

Pierce Great Value Instant rice box
Turn spicket hot water knob
Pour water in bowl
Add equal rice to bowl
Stire rice in water with fork
Microwave bowl 5 minutes
Push raw meat into pot
Turn burner dial til red
Place pot on burner
Remove bowl from microwave
Check meat with fork
Remove meat from pot into rice
Tear open Great Value Taco Seasoning packet over bowl
Pour remains into bowl
Stir bowl
Turn off stove

>>8487
I made your recipe but added one more step. You forgot "poop into bowl and stir" but that mistake aside it turned out pretty good.

sad-ball.gif
[Hide] (506.2KB, 220x220)

God, how much I hate onions it's unreal. Since my childhood, in every dish where there was an onions, I sat and took out each piece of onion from the plate and put it in a pile on the table. If it got into my mouth, I felt like I was going to vomit. Every time when I asked my mother to cook for me without onions, she said that it was simply impossible, the onions were definitely needed, otherwise the dish simply would not have taste. And the worst thing is that she's right. When I fried squid without onions, it turned out to be tasteless fried rubber, but if fried with onions, it will be one of the most delicious dishes. As much as I hate onions, sometimes it’s simply impossible to cook without them.

When I eat a lot of onions 🧅 you can smell it in my BO. Regardless of how much I wash my hands the stinky onion oils stay there. I love it I bet my cum even tastes like onions

>>8489
How can you eat squid but hate onions?

>>8491
>How can you eat squid
With your mouth 

>but hate onions
With your mind

Never mind I answered my own question

prime-2010-wank-material.jpg
[Hide] (247.5KB, 1920x1080)

>>8489
anon do you know who the guy in your gif is? If I'm not mistaken, that guy used to make youtube videos years ago (like late 2000s I'm guessing?). In his videos he played a character, a skinny white tweaker kind of guy, but I think in real life he was actually a gay theater actor or something. He had this really funny one about Hannah Minx, all I remember is that he referred to her breasts as "mams" (mammaries). If you or anyone else knows who I'm talking about pls respond.

>>8492
How you taste onions if you never mind retard?

364.jpg
[Hide] (123.6KB, 1200x675)

>>8492
Fried squids are very tasty. When I was a kid I liked to buy dried squids in bags, it is a very tasty snack. It’s a pity now they are not pleasant to eat for me, as they get stuck between the teeths, and it is very difficult and painful to get them out of there.

>>8493
Damn, I didn't know about that, I just saved this gif. But after what you wrote, it became interesting to me. I hope there is someone here who knows about this, I want to watch it now.

>>8493
He blew up on FB originally. His name is Skweezy Jibbs. It's a fake character, but he plays it so well. Fuck I'm old. This makes me nostalgic and sad.

465c5692cd4433e84ece67da3162de5abb9db736c7597351f06351b5efbe28c5.jpeg
[Hide] (96.4KB, 680x680)

>>8497
Jesus christ, anon. Thanks for telling me, I've wanted to see this dude's videos again for at least 10 years. In a way, I wish you hadn't, though... I know everyone has to pay their bills and I respect that but damn. It's all so modern.
>IT'S YA BOY SKWEEZY HIT ME UP ON PATREON, CAMEO, TIKTOK, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM
I guess you can never really go home.

On a more positive note, holy shit did this man age well. He looks almost exactly the same. He's also still pretty funny. I'll post a few of his vids for anyone who has never seen him

I also noticed he must have purged like all of his videos on youtube. I'm guessing it was too naughty? Hence why >>8500 is all super tame.

Anyhoo, it occurs to me that this is the cooking thread, so you all can go back to talking about onions, how onions taste good/bad, how many onions you can fit inside yourselves, etc.

>>8475
I'd eat out at Ashleys *wink wink*

>>8408
That looks yum, though maybe your nice photos are selling them well...
>Take 1 1/2 cup rice with 2 cups water and let sit in a pot for 15 minutes with no heat
how come you let it sit in the pot for 15 minutes? 

>I typically eat this same meal every day.
That doesnt seem to healthy, do you eat any fruits?

>>8478
heres a (You) for trying fren :)

>>8489
>God, how much I hate onions it's unreal. 
We had Prime Minister who loved onions so much the absolute mad lad ate one raw on TV, skin on and everything

https://youtu.be/hmPVCKnkKWA

>>8493
good lord.... ty anon for letting me know about this Hannah Minx. 
Now if you excuse me, I have so researching to do...

ppwew.jpg
[Hide] (81KB, 1000x1000)

I'm not gonna to do what everybody thinks I'm gonna do and GO CRAZY on the onion kick just because that is what Ashley is doing.

BUT

I am going to attempt to make a Bloomin' Onion™ - Maybe this weekend. Wish me luck.

>>8500
I think these videos are in the .h265 format which isn't supported to played in browsers ;_;

>>8506
Oops. I just pulled them from TikTok with yt-dlp. I'm far too lazy to convert but they work if you download them

a8bde760bf47c154448b6b1b3283796d9de50aba87d2bdce30a8082125e2156f.jpg
[Hide] (222.1KB, 1080x704)

People ITT need to make more italian food

bba0aea8c4b5713479e9aaa9dc13bf0440d5b65048c4ebfcd1ed7e7666c2df7f.jpg
[Hide] (59KB, 640x726)

>>8519

c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)

347116067_1457570988336316_1482084119822446228_n.jpg
[Hide] (62.4KB, 526x521)

Ashley baked her favorite dessert, pumpkin pie, but her pugs slipped a roofie in her co2 and purloined her pie.

>>8539
Kinda feel bad when I see pugs. They're like cute down syndrome dogs

>>8539
Pugs are fucking cute. Look at that god damn thing all the way on the right. It looks like a mini tan panda.

>>8542
it looks forlorn

c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)

tumblr_o4x16k416B1slrg6co1_1280.jpg
[Hide] (122.2KB, 1080x1080)

>>8540
>>8542
>>8550
You best not say it to their face.

well_were_waiting.gif
[Hide] (3.6MB, 288x480)

>>8551
You best not cum on your own face.

to the mexicans on the board and the ones still under Ashley's bed, rate my taco?

Its just a simple meat and cheese one because Im a  fussy eater

1 onion chopped up
add extra virgin (hehehe) olive oil into pan
brown onion (lololol)
add mince meat, brown it
1 can of tomato soup
1 small tub of tomato paste
add some mixed spice
mix corn flour with water and add into if you want to thicken the sauce a bit
add meat to taco
add toppings you like

throw in oven to melt cheese and toast the taco.

serve with whatever sides, I chose potato gems.

1553654839370.jpg
[Hide] (126KB, 622x960)

I wonder what a nigger burger tastes like.

bueno.jpg
[Hide] (60.7KB, 362x366)

>>8617
Yo this looks great dawg. I'd eat it. Those some tots I'm peepin? Mah nigga.

And melting the cheese and toasting the taco in the oven is a stroke of genius, I've never tried that before but you can bet your sweet bippy I will the next time I make tacos.

>>8658
ty anon!
yeah those be tots you be peepin, they be way yummier than chips, like mini hash browns.
>melting the cheese and toasting the taco in the oven is a stroke of genius
isnt that what everyone does???

1641477136552.gif
[Hide] (2MB, 500x247)

>>8617
>1 can of tomato soup
>1 SMALL TUB of tomato paste

>>8617
>i cook my food in the oven after cooking it in the pan

I've_been_disturbing_the_piece.jpg
[Hide] (115.2KB, 524x332)

The day has finally come, that i eat watermelon. 🍉

>>8736
I love eating nigger apples during this time of year.

>>8669
>not toasting your taco
you wont be eating my taco then

Can reptilians be consumed?

>>8952
Yes

<iframe src='https://madnessporn.com/embed/23462' width='640' height='480' frameborder='0'></iframe>

>>8954
sorry am retarded 
https://madnessporn.com/video/man-x-lizard-gaybeastcom-dude-fucks-animal-23462.html

178472872354.png
[Hide] (110.9KB, 933x267)

heh

24413436754.png
[Hide] (2.6MB, 1496x844)

2453256627.png
[Hide] (2.6MB, 1496x844)

45135467524.png
[Hide] (2.6MB, 1496x844)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNQBfAxkiIA

>>9196
that looks really yum anon!

monkey-man-of-delhi-324x160.jpg
[Hide] (6.4KB, 324x160)

>>9167
hah!

5221455632.png
[Hide] (3.7MB, 1376x1260)

>>9197
I tried giving them the diamond grill marks for presentation but wasn't successful on that BBQ. Here's a better one I did awhile back.

>>9290
faaaaaaaark thats some nice lookin meat!


can I came live in your basement?!?!

sosig.jpg
[Hide] (131.6KB, 639x789)

Suck on this COCKtail

4033550.jpeg
[Hide] (88.3KB, 888x499)

>>9297
I fucking hate this pic I also hate the pic that I posted now
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kompot

cheesey_garlic_bread.webm
[Hide] (4.4MB, 320x584, 01:18)

>>9300
Likely too sweet for me. Seems like something that was don't to preserve fruit longer. I/m more into savory foods.
Where my garlic bread anons at?

>>9301
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gunther_Dean

>Dean was born as Gunther Dienstfertig in Breslau, Germany, into a Jewish family, the son of Lucy (Askenazy) and prominent lawyer Joseph Dienstfertig. As a child, he attended the exclusive Von Zawatzki Schule in Breslau. Escaping the rise of Nazism, the family left Germany in December 1938 and arrived in the United States in February. John's original first name was Gunther, however, the immigration officer changed to John Gunther to avoid it from sounding "too German". In March 1939 the family changed its name from "Dienstfertig" to "Dean" before the City Court of New York to better integrate into the crowd in Queens.

>Dean's suspicions that Israeli agents may have also been involved in the mysterious aircraft crash in 1988 that killed Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq, the president of Pakistan, led finally to a decision in Washington to declare him mentally unfit, which forced his resignation from the foreign service after a thirty-year career. Later he was rehabilitated by the State Department, given a distinguished service medal and the insanity charge was confirmed to be phony by a former head of the department's medical service.

21343515614.jpg
[Hide] (75.3KB, 1200x630)

>>9295
Sure thing, it's fully furnished too.

Untitled-1.jpg
[Hide] (242.1KB, 720x458)

>>9301 
ty for that educating video Zach Galifianakis

also, I made some toast, does that count?

425677134663.png
[Hide] (3.6MB, 1361x1079)

Phish

>>9548
Are those red potatoes, AKA the superior potato?

Nice work on the asparagus too.

Your carrots look good. They remind me a bit of my baked carrot recipe.

Basically you halve or quarter as many carrots as you can fit onto a baking pan. Coat them with some olive oil and seasonings of your choice (I do salt and pepper, then a dash of garlic powder, onion powder, and a few shakes of italian seasoning). Cover the pan with a sheet of aluminum foil and bake at 450 for 20 minutes. Then take the sheet of aluminum foil off and bake for another 10 minutes. Results in fantastic carrots. If you really want to get naughty you can make a "candied" version by hitting them with some brown sugar, which is great, but sort of defeats the point of eating something so healthy as a carrot imo.

>>9550
Thanks. For the asparagus and carrots I just cook them on separate cast iron skillets (olive oil for asparagus and butter for carrots) and add salt and pepper for seasoning (fresh parmesan on asparagus). The fish and sweet potatoes I wrap in aluminum foil and cook on the BBQ. On the fish is salt, pepper, dill weed and rosemary (sometimes I add sliced lemon). The sweet potatoes have salt, pepper and basil.

Do you like Tuna Salad?

Replace the celery with cucumber and add a splash of soy sauce. Maybe some avocado.

It's basically free sushi.

watermelonstealing.jpg
[Hide] (173.1KB, 768x1024)

Some watermelon sure sounds nice around this time.

c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)

download_(1).jpg
[Hide] (6.5KB, 225x225)

download.jpg
[Hide] (5.6KB, 250x195)

>>9599
The Japanese have a patent on growing square watermellon. They say that it's easier to cut and store in the fridge.

1368382038748.jpg
[Hide] (114.7KB, 650x751)

>>9607
Japanese watermelon probably tastes better too

anyone else scared to swallow a seed because it might grow inside your stomach and then your stomach bursts open?

c355571577c1ec37a902b09a2d3d032f.jpeg
[Hide] (3.5KB, 55x55)

tailgate-seedless-watermelon.jpg
[Hide] (96.1KB, 1016x682)

>>9611
If anyone is scared to swallow a watermellon seed for fear it might grow inside your stomach and then your stomach bursts open might I suggest purchasing and consuming seedless watermellon. At the very least it will give you peace of mind. Of coarse it takes all the fun out of it, I usually can spit a watermellon seed 25 feet, an unofficial record.

>>9611
I wish everything was that simple. When I was a child, I sometimes buried seeds of berries and fruits in the ground not far from home in the hope that at least something would grow, of course, nothing came of it. A few years ago, in a nearby forest, I was burying hemp seeds that I got from cookies in the ground autistic, I know cookies with hemp seeds are delicious, but the seeds get stuck between the teeths, it's very unpleasant, of course, nothing grew out of this either.

189030477746546.jfif
[Hide] (3.1KB, 225x225)

>>9611

>>9616
Dont worry anon, one day you will plant your seed inside a woman and from there you will grow the greatest gift of all.


A small child that you can force into sports at an early age, so they become a professional baseball player earning millions of dollars that you can leech off of.

1687803540504408.jpg
[Hide] (492.2KB, 750x735)

>>9599

Blue-milk.webp
[Hide] (7.9KB, 530x300)

How To Make Fake Cum

https://www.delicto.com/blogs/learning/how-to-make-fake-cum

29aeea52-c115-44dd-95b0-92031da9576d-1659691915028.jpg
[Hide] (44.4KB, 577x577)

>>9663

Picaninny_Freeze.jpg
[Hide] (18.2KB, 273x218)

>>9663
Show sounds good!

1342493127280.jpg
[Hide] (22.3KB, 512x384)

>>9663
fucking bitch looking so smug with all that fucking watermelon  whilst Im sitting over here with no watermelon like a fucking retard.
fucking hell.

IMG_20230629_183054.jpg
[Hide] (509.9KB, 1808x1356)

IMG_20230629_182820.jpg
[Hide] (529.7KB, 1703x1277)

>>9669
If you really want to drink a liquid that very similar to cum - for this you just need powdered potato starch. In general, you can try the traditional Slavic drink based on potato starch - kissel https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kissel. I can buy kissel at absolutely any grocery store, but most of them are berry flavored and pink/orange in color. I tried to find apple or oatmeal flavored, so kissel would be colorless, but I couldn't find it, so I decided to just boil a pot of potato starch. To make it tasty, you can add fruits or other flavors with sugar.

>>9685
I'd rather save my money and eat my own cum.
>t-that's gay!
Not if it's my own supply

>>9685
What's the fake cum for anon?

pasta_water_use.jpg
[Hide] (183.6KB, 1500x1000)

>>9685
You can also use old pasta water.
if you like watery cum it works well, but if not add some corn flour to thicken it.
Best used immediately after draining your pasta so the water is still boiling hot, for boiling hot cum all over you face.

>>9697
For nothing, have nothing to do better to in my life, I just boiled potato starch and poured the result into the toilet. If I were a vindictive person and held a grudge against someone, maybe I would pour this liquid over the property of my offender.

jo_linder.jpg
[Hide] (107.3KB, 819x1024)

brando.jpg
[Hide] (39KB, 375x669)

>German fitness influencer Jo Lindner, also known as "Joesthetics," has died at the age of 30 due to an aneurysm. He had 8.5 million Instagram followers and almost 500 million views on his YouTube channel. Lindner's last post on social media talked about his fitness levels after taking a year off of intensive bodybuilding.

>Marlon Brando's weight varied throughout his career. In the early days of his career, he weighed around 75 kg, but by the mid-1990s, he weighed more than 140 kg. He was a big eater who loved ice cream, peanut butter, and Chinese food, which he used to eat enough for 8 people. He would go on diets before each film, but eventually stopped. He died at the age of 80 due to obesity-related complications.

Girls love chubby daddies, especially ashley. getting "ripped" is for faggots. more like getting your asshole ripped by your boyfriend, amirite?

DE0FD0E0-63AF-4B36-999C-6C36FD65A555.jpeg
[Hide] (70.7KB, 640x480)

Who wants cooogies?

45245342652.jpg
[Hide] (58.5KB, 640x813)

>>9729
80 is a good age to die. Also, Brando wasn't on the juice like that guy.

>>9741
being 80 isnt a good age to die.
Youre immobile, drooling and probably stuffed into some old folks home by the very kids you raised. Not to mention where the under paid staff treat you like cattle.
Probably have to wear diapers too.
I want to die in my 60's

>>9737
I made those cookies for Pride and everyone loved the chocolate I put in the center

>>9781
If you take good care of yourself you should have no trouble being 80. Beyond that however is typically when the body starts shutting down, especially when you're pushing 90.

PLAP_PLAP_PLAP_GET_PREGNANT.webm
[Hide] (3.8MB, 1080x1920, 00:11)

>>9805
hey ash as a latina when do you plan on starting to eat and growing your hair out?? when this time inevitably comes please continue to make videos, preferably ones where you review burritos and tacos

>>9812
Don't even trouble yourself asking this. By the time that happens she will be my wife and have 9 kids. We will have 2 Toyota tundras on lifted suspension in the driveway and only one will work. 3 of the 9 will babysit the other 4 while we both work full time jobs.

>>9737
Gah damn downloading me these right now. Thanks Ashley <3

>>9737
I just realized it's a pink sonck goo gee

>>9812
We dont post females here

>>9829
Who says that's a female? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

>>9831
Are trans fats good for you??

>>9829
d-does that mean ashley is a man?

013954163125.png
[Hide] (3.4MB, 1414x1008)

treated myself to a late night snack

>>9854
damn that thing looks huge!

>>9854
This entire pizza was inside this dude and he probably shitted it out and so this pizza rubbed is colon and asshole and so if you think this pizza looks yummy then youre gay

>>9956
I have poop in my colon right now. brewing up a big one

>>9981
update, I just shitted

>>9982
Ashley? Did you finally shit? Please update your Poop Log, honey.

42556774125678.jpg
[Hide] (43.3KB, 528x360)

>>10004
I didn't know eating meat can make me shit spaghetti, interesting.

>>10008
Bro lemme taste your ass I love spaghetti

425577245.webp
[Hide] (667.7KB, 560x321)

>>10010

>>10021
DOOGIE NO

2545641658743.png
[Hide] (2.6MB, 1496x844)

The scat porn posted in the huwhite pride thread earlier made me hungry so I cooked a hamburger with WAFFLE FRIES.

>>10409
Gawd damn that look good. What sauce you dipping those fries in? Did you deep fry them?

>>10409
holy shit this looks delicious. Tell sauce

2456243654.jpg
[Hide] (363.1KB, 929x1071)

>>10410
I just used ketchup. Normally I make my own sweet potato wedges with spicy mayo (sriracha sauce + mayo) but I only had enough as a condiment for the hamburger. This time I cheated and bought a bag of waffle fries sprinkled with paprika.
>>10416
I normally eyeball everything so there's no exact ratio for the ingredients but here:
-1lb of lean ground beef.
-1 egg beaten.
-1/2 cup of minced onion.
-1 cup of crumbled crackers.
-form into 4oz balls and flatten into a patty.
-season with salt and pepper on both sides.
-add a touch of olive oil to cast iron skillet on medium/high heat.
-cook for 8 minutes (4 minutes on both sides).
-after flipping, add butter and baste patty. If you're adding sliced cheese: after basting with butter, add cheese for the final minute. It will gradually melt during the resting period.
-remove patty and let it rest for 5 minutes before serving. During this time, I cook 1/4 inch sliced ring onions until golden brown while my buns are toasted.

For the buns, I either use brioche (picrel) or waffle buns.

>>10427
at first glance I thought that was ashley in the background

brave_Mmpf4GbAZa.png
[Hide] (903.1KB, 565x564)

brave_Rjec8IZOAv.png
[Hide] (880.2KB, 533x577)

brave_ZZjzLZOs0f.png
[Hide] (1MB, 577x578)

Chile (the plant) is a major component in chili (the dish).

Does Ashley like chiles? Does she grow them? How about you, Ashlings?

I can recommend NuMex Twilight, which is a beautiful ornamental chile, suitable for bonsai and has tasty fruit, too.

It was developed by the New Mexico State University chile research institute. (NuMex is their kind of brand.)

Pro Tip: Give the seedlings plenty of light for a strong, bushy plant later. If needed, start them later in the year so there is enough light.

Save the seeds and grow again next year. Share the seed. Seed!

https://pubs.nmsu.edu/_circulars/CR706/index.html

What is you favourite, vegan, chili recipe, Ashley?

>>10471
I'm a little more masochistic and enjoy habanero's, but chiles are fantastic too! I think it's important to grow your own food to become less dependent on the machine. Neat stuff anon!

brave_F4CO1WbTj7.png
[Hide] (714.1KB, 837x614)

>>10472

I think habaneros are a type of chinense chile. I like them too! 

There is a nice breakdown of the different types of chile here:

https://www.fatalii.net/Chile_Peppers

I like chile for their flavour and aroma, but I just love it when they are pretty, too.

08adcf3923bcab6006afb6efa33175bcf4a7ded28788ef83f1cf3a1295a907ef.jpg
[Hide] (81.4KB, 640x639)

>>10474
I didn't know you could grow em like a Bonsai tree! Sweet! I'm so far removed from the food growing process I must admit.

>>10476
I would just love to have that one!

Aren't the pods just gigantic in the tree? And the more you pluck them, the more the pods grow!

brave_kfhA1KoQl3.png
[Hide] (840.2KB, 637x642)

>>10476

You could just sit under this one with bonsai Ashley and think about setting up a hammock.

There is some interesting culture I have seen but not tried where you put copper coils into the soil near the plant and this somehow conjures the Force or something resulting in spectacular growth... electro-culture

brave_V9DGmArMfN.png
[Hide] (562.1KB, 630x633)

I picked some seeds and grew some plants to make fantastic chile hot sauce.

I was really happy when some of the seeds germinated. I didn't protect them from rain well when they were seedlings and lost some that survived.

I ended up with about 5 different varietals (wish I could remember which.) 

There was one which was yellow, prolific, and really hot, like not maximum theoretical hotness, but just well up there in heat. 

I remember preparing the chiles with bare hands. It was so sore and painful! I couldn't believe that something that hurt the outside of my hands so much would go into my mouth.

I got them into fermentation bottles with bubblers, but I wasn't strict enough with the bottle size and lid size of the bubbler so it was loose, not a tight seal. 

I had some mould, but still they looked colourful fermenting away and tasted pretty good despite everything.

I would like to try again with properly sealed bubblers.

https://www.chilipeppermadness.com/recipes/fermented-hot-sauce/

a-cow-died-for-this-abomination.jpg
[Hide] (703.8KB, 1538x880)

reading this thread made me realise i cant cook for shit
cant even make a decent steak

or take a decent photo

464245784.png
[Hide] (2.3MB, 1496x844)

453167316.png
[Hide] (2.5MB, 1496x844)

43265314346.png
[Hide] (1.2MB, 560x1343)

>>10577
I baste mine in butter with rosemary (thyme and parsley works too) and garlic cloves while flipping every minute on all sides and feeling its firmness until it's done to my liking. I remember a chef showing me the hand trick one night when I worked at a restaurant years ago. Hope that helps.

>>10577
I bet this tasted good though, I know 'medium rare' is supposed to be how you do a steak but I always thought well done was tasty. And I bet those sausages were awesome. That bread gotta be toasted though my man. You can make a poor man's garlic bread with toast, butter, garlic powder, and parmesan cheese (use a leftover packet from your last pizza). I bet the veggies on your plate were fine, it's just the color in the photo makes the carrots and peas/corn look a little sad. What are those, potatoes? Like skinned red taters?  This honestly doesn't look bad and I'd eat it.

>>10602
Recipe for the topping pls.

>>10587
Yeah so I just use Canola Oil spray on a BBQ but then I also......... >>10602 .........WTF IS THAT?!!?!?! what is wrong with people!!!!!!

>>10409
Did you buy a frozen bag of waffle fries and cook them or did you buy them cooked? Your post made me hungry and I bought frozen waffle fries but I want to cook mine how you did. Please help.

>>10619
I bought them frozen and pre-fried. The instructions should be on the bag. If not, preheat the oven to 425° and bake for 10-12 minutes, flip them at the halfway mark. Before placing them in the oven, I like to sprinkle some paprika on them for a little kick. If you were making them from scratch you would baked them longer for about 25min.

>>10618
I wonder if you cut it in the middle is it bright pink like steak? If so, that's probably a sign of hemorrhoids.

53625272356.jpg
[Hide] (132.5KB, 1260x620)

>>10409
Thailand Burger King came out with a burger that puts mine to shame.

>>10631
I would eat this.

t. fat

>>10627
I showed my dad your post and had him make them for me. Turned out pretty good, only had fries with no sides. I'm getting a little hungry now. Can you make another post I can show to my dad?

>>10631
Thailand. Even their burgers can't pass for real burgers.

>>10602
is that the Jack-in-the-box breakfast burrito?

>>10631
saw someone eat one of these, he said it was still frozen in the middle. 


>>10633
2nd from the left is fine, just slide dat cheeeeeeeze back on!

>>10641
Well it still looks like a real burger, I mean I'd try it, it can't taste that different.

>>10643
To be honest I'm not opposed to just eating the slid down cheese by itself.

dcc914ca95472e159121b45110e38b13a31ae70fd138b9585b0299dab1e38382.gif
[Hide] (1.2MB, 498x490)

>>10686
same brother

Thai_Burgers.png
[Hide] (389KB, 680x382)

>>10641
Or can they?

>>10717
I mean sure those burgers look good but just wait until you bring them back to your hotel and they refuse to let you go down on them and only want to have sex in the reverse cowgirl position with the lights off

6ff3e81387fd559dd641641f689c5357acc43c566a3ab9ff4c6f5eac4af7934c.jpg
[Hide] (31.9KB, 552x578)

>buys the wrong burritos
>still has an out of body experience

>>10722
I would just eat the burgers somewhere else, I cant be fooled easily.

>>10727
The most shocking thing about this image is that the beefy 5-layer burrito is only $0.89

>>10746
Yeah dude this image is from 2017. Inflation is a hidden tax.

6425487832.png
[Hide] (310.8KB, 657x564)

>tfw no qt gf who bakes muffins :(

>>10755
I don't get it. Why is she wearing a mask? I'm assuming those muffins have shit in them or something.

>>10756
I mean I wouldn't want to be known around the office as the shit muffin eater

>>10755
When I saw this picture of a masked woman, I thought, "Oh, those must be treats for the dog." The dog that she's having sex with. The internet has seriously messed me up.

>>10756
>>10757
uh oh, they are all sunk in the middle, Im guessing fecal matter doesnt rise when baked???? does anyone here know?

HURR DURR everything you cook is shit anyways so find out
kys

>>10758
you just know....

>>11306
I mean, at least it was cooked?...

r-r-right?!?!

>>11306
bruh an animal had to die for this

>>11306
It looks like desaturated chocolate cake.

>>11306
>buys meat from the dollar tree

jim-ross.gif
[Hide] (930.2KB, 220x220)

>>11306
Not enough saus glossed on that hoss ross ya boss finner toss ya inna grill

>>11316
They sell cuts of meat at Dollar Tree?

>>11320
Yeah, some do

>>11320
Not like fresh cuts, but frozen meats.

>>11320
They have pork didlos I bought the ones Ashley uses very succulent

62452476832.jpg
[Hide] (134KB, 736x1124)

>>11317
I remember seeing JR's BBQ sauce at the grocery store with the small cowboy hat on the bottle that kids would always steal.

>>11320
>>11321
>>11322

meat is one thing you dont want to skimp a few bucks on

Thats why I only hire the most expensive hookers to eat

>>11326
Cool I want that. Was the hat the lid or just sat on top of the lid?

>>11336
It just sits on the bottle. I remember my brother's friend stealing one when they first dropped. Never tried the sauce though, most celebrity brand foods are garbage.

>>11314
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/c6MDZcM6qlE

add734080b674b13a7074ce9f9150229216b5d6f6522f9d3624c2b11e61f25ca.jpg
[Hide] (260.8KB, 1581x1054)

de4a37374ad07f2a0b780543ab9a20cddb531a5bc9decc07f49867bbb42e43b9.jpg
[Hide] (241KB, 1200x675)

ab82e3bb80fb3a80ca7d6024f5fcafcb9660df7a5208e5a7d426ec65317b4984.png
[Hide] (1.8MB, 1170x2017)

7f5c5f173b3c5b59da96a031f7fd7c7cdb8fba752302d9e1c31e7aad42ccf520.jpg
[Hide] (79.2KB, 720x900)

70a1e3e2c84f29842a099991ae715cdd50f38ad150c829ae4b8602470518a52a.png
[Hide] (1.5MB, 1200x674)

>>11457
Seems like a lovely young lady to take advice from.

E6xlGRPXsAs6b7L.jpg
[Hide] (1.6MB, 4096x4096)

>>11460
Yikes!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eZ1cKxnEEIM

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd3ffi0vk30

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=evjJ8x5ZfYU

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6j3b7KhVcAQ

278901901_284579520555378_5427629846724040782_n.jpg
[Hide] (240.8KB, 1080x1348)

<3 McDonald's™️

onion.jpg
[Hide] (177.9KB, 773x458)

I love the smell of freshly diced onion, sizzling away in the pan.
Its my fav part of the spaghetti making process.

53463623228.jpg
[Hide] (64.3KB, 473x700)

I got tired of eating bacon and eggs for breakfast and was too lazy to make something else from scratch so I had picrel for the first time since my childhood and it was delicious. I might consider getting Honeycombs next just for nostalgia minus the parents arguing over the table.

>>13008
heggs

>>13008
Same here except I got Fruity Pebbles. It made my shit a muted rainbow color which made me think that its not good for my health but yolo.

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/xK7FpertVxo

>>13045
The beer is to get drunk and not feel pain for when you shove the corn up your ass. The potato is to bite on as a pain reliever as you shove corn up hole.

>>13045
2 beers, some corn on a cob, a potato for baking plus some kind of meat product all for $11.99??? what a bargain

>>13046
>you shove the corn up your ass
Though the potato does have girth, the corn cob is ribbed. tough choice

Im going to go with the corn, after all theres gonna be corn in my shit if I ate it anyways...

>>13045
Either bud light is trying too hard to make a cum back or the employee’s there are making fun of them for their queerness.

535637881346.jpg
[Hide] (41.1KB, 650x841)

Nothing beats the 23 flavors.

Im-nuts-about-nuts.jpg
[Hide] (272.5KB, 805x562)

Any nut enjoyers here?

when I get a craving for something late at night, I reach for some nuts and put them in my mouth.
Its great, much better than snacking on other less healthier snacks. yes sir! it tastes great having nuts in my mouth.
What about you guys? do you enjoy nuts? do you have a particular favourite type of nut?

Oh boy! all this typing about nuts has gotten me wanting some rn!