/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

>>12193 (OP) 
I was going to yell at you for being a boomer and not using the general thread for these memes, but I guess it hit its reply limit.

The least you could have done is add a subject line though, you old geezer.

Thank you for your service etc.

>>12199
wait so you fuck other dudes from this board?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1wAjcWHkDY

>>12210
Wouldn't you like to know. Why are you so interested? It's not like anyone here is going to fuck you because your already have your head up your ass. Looks like you'll just have to go fuck yourself. ;⁠)

>>12439
I'm not really a tit person but looking at her makes me wish I was a kitten who needs milk.

>>12500
>I'm not really a tit person
So you're a SHIT person?

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this is a lot like me and Dapper Dan watching Ashley grow up over the years

>>12500
She used to be my celebrity crush. I never stalked her, though ;) Just thinking about you dual wielding those calcium cannons is already fortifying my bone. Those sweater cows can give you milk but you'll have to get vitamin D from me.

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This is a lot like me and Glitta.

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this is a lot like me and Ashley

this is a lot like me and ashley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIoc5yMvxOs

>>12779
*sigh... unzips*

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Ashley, when we moving the plot forward?

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this is a lot like Ashley and...

>>12987

...ME

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this is a bit like me and ashley

>>12193 (OP) 
I don’t know skin heads could be in a relationship with native Americans.

>>13016
Many such cases

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https://leisuresuitlarry.fandom.com/wiki/Ione

>>13050
Ummm sweaty that's LITERALLY a child. The only thing she's loading are PUBES you scumbag!!!

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>>13051
How about this one?

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>>13051
What about this one?

>>13058
There's a dick under that controller isn't there?

>>13059
A dildo perhaps.

>>13059
Yes.

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this is a lot like barry

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>>13059

>>13063
How do you know?

>>13080
you tell me

>>13058
>xbox
DROPPED

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esto se parece mucho a Ashley y a mí

>>13101
¿Cuál es Ashley? ¿el transexual o el enano?

>>13104
dígame usted

>>13082
You've seen it somehow or you assume.

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this was a lot like me and Ashley when we were kids

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>>13227
>she's only 9

>>13227
Fucking retards, that's the microphone attachment for Just Sing!

This is a lot like me getting mail from Ashley.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-vhv3aTO-g

>>13284
Ive printed mine out and hung it on my wall in a gold frame with this little light shining on it so it looks like its in an art gallery.
Might even get a soundboard for it so I can play various sounds when I read it.

>>13284
QRD? I don't have 30 minutes to watch this nutjob giggling in a plaid blanket. I'm guessing a girl sent it to him?

>>13293
Ciara sent one of her most dedicated orbiters a package for a few thousand dollars.

>>13300
Nice. What was in it zack?

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>>13303
>pair of her used undies
>a lock of her hair
>erotic photos
>a letter confessing her undying love for me
plus a few hundred dollarydoos

oh wait, that was the fan mail package your mum sent me after I delivered her MY PACKAGE and gave her an absolute dickin of a lifetime!

Remember this board a rockin a couple a weeks back? that wasnt because of the resident Board Nerd aka the website mall cop, copy/pasting some nerd CSS script, oh no. 
It was the ground shaking after effects, my D left on her P ya dig?

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>>13284
Sleepy Seymour is my guyfu. He was here but abandoned the Ashley Jones Discord server after I left then his account was deleted and I lost touch with him. Man, I started tearing up as he read that letter from Ciara. She wrote him that five years ago and I felt like she was talking to me.

Ashley, send me a blanket.

>>13313
>Remember this board a rockin a couple a weeks back?
Of course. I can... Never forget salutes teh flag
> that was the fan mail package your mum sent me after I delivered her MY PACKAGE and gave her an absolute dickin of a lifetime!
yea nah yea nah reckon' me mum isn't one of yous holiday Thai ladybois, but she'll still accept yous centrelink payment mate fair dinkum!

>>13327
yeah nah I only fucked that thai ladyboi one time hey cuz i was fucking pissed as cus the cheap as pots yeah hey yas I reckon, but yeah nah yeah fuckin meet me in the woolies carpark and ill fuckin smash yas and ya dumb mole, righto but nah just banging ya drums cobba. ta ta hooroo have a good one

>>13329
kek good on ya

>>13327
>>13329
slow down ya smoko m80s

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This is a lot like me and Ashley.

>>13419
damn Seabee is that old!?!

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>>13460
That's my son.

>>13461
well hello beautiful!

is he single?
and does he have a nice tight asshole?

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>>13463
Very tight 🦍

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this is a bit like me and Ashley

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this is me and ashley

This is a lot like me and Ashley.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBq7g6Vcl3A

>>13838
i wanna die and come back in some VN

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This is a lot like me and Ashley.

>>13916
Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaah! She must work out.

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this is a lot like me and ashley

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>>13919
>earnest scared stupid
I just noticed they spelled his name wrong in the image file name.

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Speaking of Ernest, there is an old homeless man where I live that kind of looks like Jim Varney and he went all Antiques guy on me the other day and tried to sell me this Spider-Man print in front of Dollar Tree. He said it's going to be worth a fortune one day. You'll be able to put your kids through college with it. It even comes with a certificate of authenticity that's on the back. He said he was asking a lot more for it but would be willing to part with it for only $2.50 so he could run inside the Dollar Tree and get himself a Coke and a pack of Peanut M&Ms. So I'm now the proud owner of this beautiful piece of Walmart art.

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This is a lot like me and Ashley

>>13925
Seabee are you calling Ashley a bitch? wtf bro!!!

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>>13930
Heh.heh, obviously I'm not calling Ashley a bitch. Pic is just an analogy because she's warm and cuddly and cute and likes her little fuzzy tummy rubbed just like a little puppy and if she had a tail she'd wag it every time she sees me.

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>>13920

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>>13921
>made in mexico
>worth a fortune
the only thing made in Mexico thats worth anything is Ashley and Im already jet skiing my way over to come and kidnap her and sell her on the blackmarket, so youre too late.

>>13939
>likes her little fuzzy tummy rubbed just like a little puppy and if she had a tail she'd wag it every time she sees me.

now your making fun of her thick snail trail?!?! god damn did she piss in your cornflakes or something!?

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>>13940
I'm dying to show you my John Lennon impression.

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>>13943
Would I make fun of Da Vinci's Mona Lisa or Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? Certainly not. And neither would I mock Ashley's snail trail, a work of art in itself to truly be admired and if set to canvas it would without a doubt rival the paintings of the old masters.

Quite frankly I prefer Cheerios (hold the sugar) over corn flakes, urine optional, heh, heh.

>>13966
would you drag your balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a vintage walkie talkie?

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>>13967
I don't know If I'd go that far, I really do value my balls as do my future (?) children. And without balls what good am I to Ashley?

>>13968
>And without balls what good am I to Ashley?
hey, a holes a hole. 
No judgment here brother.

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>>13968
:3

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>>13977
Yeah, Ash, for a quickie it was pretty good. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, heh, heh.

https://youtu.be/B-CinHxHd3A

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>>13980
>he doesnt know

>>13986
shhh don't tell him

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this is a lot like me and ashley

>>12779
hot

>>14041
Indian reincarnation

>>13968
You are no good with or without balls. 🏈

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>>14063

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>>13986

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This is a lot like me and Ashley.

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>>14419
https://youtu.be/HP911OK2drs

>>14419
Yes moar Tika Toco brainmelt plz exxxtra CCP

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this me watching Ashley play Super Mario World on our collection of CRTs that I payed for

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>>14419

>>12439
She can fluff my garfield any day.

>>14441
*paid

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>this is somewhat like me and Ashley

>>14468
>Should I let everyone know how much money I have, and have every transaction I receive and who from, and every transaction I make and who to, public? If so, Bitcoin.
>Or should I transact privately? If so, Monero.
It's a harmful notion that valuing privacy must mean you're doing something illegal.

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>>14468
>>14469
Me?
Im just going to give all my monies to Elon Musk

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>>14470
Elon Musk eXpects everyone to give a shit/ 'You won't need a toilet... it would blow out my ass if we don't have that poop out the end of your rear.'

>>14468
>>14469
>>14470
I still withdraw my money from ATM and use cash 99% of the time.
the banks are closing a lot of them which is a pain because i have to travel further to withdraw.
Ive noticed when I go pay for stuff the person working there automatically gets the card scanner out and most people use their debit cards, so I wonder how long till we go cashless.


>>14469
>It's a harmful notion that valuing privacy must mean you're doing something illegal.
Very true, but also if Monero is the primarily currency on dark webs its easy to see why people would have that sort of view of Monero

>>14469
>It's a harmful notion that valuing privacy must mean you're doing something illegal.
Agreed, but I believe this notion is by design. Imagine that you're a member of the ruling class. It's highly beneficial if the working class no longer values privacy, or better yet, abhors privacy and considers it only useful to "bad people" (drug deals, sex traffickers, etc.). Much easier to control them this way. Bitcoin or any currency with a transparent ledger is a dictator's wet dream.

>>14493
>so I wonder how long till we go cashless.
It's hard to get precise statistics, but in the US about 45% of all transactions are non-cash. I suspect if you removed small purchases under $10 and the boomer population (65+), that number would be somewhere around 80% or more.

It's also worth noting that the vast majority of traditional fiat currency is already digital. If you have $20,000 in the bank, the bank doesn't actually have a pile of money in the vault with your name on it. It's all just numbers in a computer.

>Very true, but also if Monero is the primarily currency on dark webs its easy to see why people would have that sort of view of Monero
Unfortunately you're not wrong. If you think about it, this is a great example of how stupid normies are. Ever wonder WHY all those scary dark webs criminals use Monero? Because it works. Therefore, anyone interested in privacy should be using it.

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This is a lot like me and Ashley riding Wildfire.

>>14502
Ancient traditional abortion method also work as afro deezy ack just eat any endangered animal 1st

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>>14502
She's preparing herself for her closeup. Skip to 4:15 for the good stuff.

https://youtu.be/Dinn49_6W8Y

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>>14611
that totem pole has seen some shit

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this is a lot like me and ashley

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Sigh ;(      This is a lot like me and Ashley

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TIALLMAA

this is a lot like Ashley after her first lesbian experience

SPOILER: she doesn't like the taste of fish

>>14779
>first
anon I....

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_PEgISrzLT8 Dis me nnnnAshley me cook food

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if you know, you know...

>>14864
Are you suggesting Ashley wants to eat her mom and fuck her brother??

>>14800
lmfao pepperoni is her favorite part lmaoioooooooo

>>14800
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>14800
Do you think white girls ever use peanut butter to attract downies instead of dogs? Is that why they always freak out over downies and want volunteer at sped schools? The unique shape of the downy skull is ideal for cunnilingus. Their child-like stupidity and mental constitution is such that even the most unimpressive white female can feel superior. Oh god, they love to make the downies go down on them, don't they? We must put a stop to this.

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>>14941
>The unique shape of the downy skull is ideal for cunnilingus.

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she ordered hamburger helper btw

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this is a lot like me and ashley :)

>>15076
Damn, the guy isn't that bad looking. He looks fine to me. If anything he should be the one having that reaction. She's dressed like a complete slut with her pants pulled already down and a shirt that looks like she pulled it out of the dumpster. But this was probably staged.

>>15078
You're a fat slut baby, come here and give me a kiss on my third chakra

>>15078
Staged, her job was to be "hot" and his job was to be "creepy". I've seen guys uglier than him with girls hotter than her. Also you'll notice that she doesn't actually start laughing until he literally sticks his tongue out, which I assume even the spergiest of spergs know not to do.

>>15080
ashley pls

>>15081
>I've seen guys uglier than him with girls hotter than her.
You've seen me and ashley.

>>15137
Cum on my dog piss feet

>>15081
>Staged
What was your first clue? Them standing in the Matrix?

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this is a lot like me and ashley.


Then I wake up.

>>15192
Ashley is the other caller on the phone and you are the one sucking some guys cock?

this is a lot like me calling ashley
https://youtu.be/u5tz_K1jDFI?si=f2V-Wvk7K9panPGM

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>>15196
Fair play. Anyone play the coffin of andy and leyley?

Henlo.  Does this thing work?  My first time on this board, It has stars and complementing colors.

>>14496
XMR is good.  I think they're working on easier ways to get it.  I need to work on that.  Some better Atomic swaps on the way.  BTC is, just, an expensive way to tell people how much money you have, and exactly what you're doing with it.

>>15205
>Some better Atomic swaps on the way
What do you mean by this?

>>15205
I should clarify, what you mean by better Atomic Swaps?

>>15209
Just that there are a few different atomic swaps - better ways to buy Monero than using an exchange - in the works right now.  I haven't really checked in on it in a few weeks.  I've been busy af.

>>15210
The problem with BTC atomic swaps is the gas costs.  They're a bit insane if you're not an billionaire.  So, they're talking about some other ones.

>>15210
I think BEP20, then using an exchange to swap out for XMR is the cheapest way right now.  I'm not a fan of BEP20, though.  The best way is to know someone who already has XMR, ofc.

More info about BTC to XMR atomic swaps:

https://www.getmonero.org/2021/08/20/atomic-swaps.html

Basically, you go to https://unstoppableswap.net/ and download the gui and do your swap. You obviously lose a little in the swap but it's on par with sellers on localmonero, the big difference is that you have the benefit of a trustless swap. 

>Since we use Atomic Swaps, you don't have to trust us at all. The entire swap process is completely trustless and is made possible by the COMIT XMR-BTC Atomic Swap protocol. We cannot steal your funds even if we wanted to. Unlike traditional swapping services like ChangeNow or Changelly, we cannot hold your funds captive and require you to supply us with personal information you don't want to give up.

See https://github.com/comit-network/xmr-btc-swap

In practice it's pretty easy

>>15222
The issue being if you don't have btc and are starting with fiat.  But, yes, Google is your friend :).  They can trace and know you have Monero, though.  But, for me, I'm not doing anything illegal, I just like the currency and want to support it.  I don't like non fungible money at all.

>>15223
>The issue being if you don't have btc and are starting with fiat.
You can trade goods or services for monero. There are other days to get monero other than buying it with fiat.
>Google is your friend :)
No.
>They can trace and know you have Monero, though
Who is "they"? Lol no they cannot, not if you dont identify yourself and dont use KYC. and if they could, we would start seeing tons of busts. Its the most private currency we have (inb4 cash) and theres a reason its the preferred currency of criminals. Because it works and is private. The US government is desperate to find any way they can to trace monero to no avail

>>15223
>The issue being if you don't have btc and are starting with fiat.
Fiat to XMR is very easy. Cash in mail to reputable seller. https://localmonero.co/

>But, yes, Google is your friend :).
No, it really isn't.

>They can trace and know you have Monero, though.
Care to explain how?

>I just like the currency and want to support it.
Same, I use it whenever possible. If you're willing to jump through a few hoops you can get pretty much anything with XMR (convert to fiat/another crypto/gift cards).

>I don't like non fungible money at all.
If it's not fungible, it's not really money, it's something else entirely

>>15226
Wow, you just want to fight, don't you.   Well, let's just say that good search engines that let you find information easily are your friend?  Are we ok with that, tinkerbell?

They can trace your tx to buy XMR with BTC, and BTC and other crypto is - 100% - traceable.  Yes, I can sell goods and services for Monero.  But I have to sell them to only to people who have Monero, and not that many do right now.  Which is the problem :).  And there is 0 chance of me cash in mail to anyone.  That's retarded :).

>>15230
kek just because youre retarded and wrong doesnt mean someone wants to fight with you when they say youre wrong

>>15234
Rofl, that's your problem not mine.  I'm 100% inarguably correct here.  I guess, if you want to sell goods and services online to a small group of participating members, it's one thing.  Personally, I'm thinking about brick and mortar - and out of 100,000 people walking by, you'll be extremely lucky for 1 to even know what Monero is right now, let alone have any.

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>>15230
>They can trace your tx to buy XMR with BTC, and BTC and other crypto is - 100% - traceable.
Depends on how you acquire the BTC or any other crypto. If you're a normie and buying it from a centralized exchange, yeah of course it's easily traceable.

However you get bitcoin, once you convert it to XMR held a self custododial Monero wallet, theyknow you have it but not what you do with it. Oops, lost my seed phrase on a USB key in a boating accident, all that money is lost.

>Well, let's just say that good search engines that let you find information easily are your friend?  Are we ok with that, tinkerbell?
Google is not a good search engine you boomer troglodyte.

>But I have to sell them to only to people who have Monero, and not that many do right now.  Which is the problem :).
Not really, it's very easy to convert just about any major crypto to monero, so they can pay you in whatever type they want.

>And there is 0 chance of me cash in mail to anyone.  That's retarded :)
This is why there's a review system moron. To minimize risk, only work with sellers that have long standing accounts and thousands of good reviews. You really think they're going to jeopardize their business to steal 200 bucks from you? I can tell you've literally never looked into this and it's not up to me to explain the reality of how it works to you, just go to the website and educate yourself

>>15238
>I'm 100% inarguably correct here.
Wow ok so that's the kind of person you are. You're very, very wrong about a lot of your statements, but hey, enjoy living in retard land you fucking mouth breather

>>15241
I don't trust the mail system.

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>>15203
I own it but I haven't gotten around to playing it yet. I've been on a story rich kick lately. Been playing lots of jrpgs and visual novels.

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This is a me and ashley thread. How about you faggots go start a /biz/ thread to talk about your mayor's fun money.

>>15260
Never thought I'd say this but Ashley's tits are bigger than that

>>15259
Played demo online, rather not steam it, but get the full version free.

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>>15263
Ashley has great tits. I saw them hanging out on a rooftop once.

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>>15314

>>15314
>>15315
I hate women so much it's unreal

>>15315
Well at least that fat cow is in the stable where she belongs

>>15318
That's terrible but I laughed. to be fair it's a plastic bucket.

>>15315
I got mine from /wsg/I posted it here (since ashley has a horsecock fetish and fucks her horse dildo daily since she has forsaken all that is good in the world) maybe 5 mins after it was uploadedI have also seen that from /wsg/ did you get it from there???

>>15320
Ashley wouldn't do that... and tell you about it

>>15320
of course I'm a normie who still browses 4chan

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It would seem Ashley and I both have a thing for horses.

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This is a lot like Ashley having Thanksgiving dinner at Seabee's place

>>15366
lul whats this from?
I like how it loops
ty for your service Seabee and happy thanksgiving

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>>15366
This is a pic of my crush and I taken 10 years ago when we were young and spry

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>>15367
Happy Thanksgiving to you too, buddy

>>15367
Awkward Thanksgiving, it's on tubi
https://tubitv.com/movies/570749/awkward-thanksgiving
Looks terrible so I'll probably watch it to get into the holiday spirit

>>15368
Happy thanksgiving Seabee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TYFYS!!

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>>15370
Happy Thanksgiving to you to, buddy

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this is me and Ash over the Garfield phone

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>>15440

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>>15440
>Work your ass off your whole life to become successful
>Be generous with your money, pay for everything your family needs
>It's not enough
>Wife divorce rapes you for $400 million
>Get a mistress
>Still working hard, paying for everything
>All you want is a blowjob in the hot tub
>Can't even get that

Poor Mel. Just kidding, he's probably a reptilian. Great at fleecing boomer conservatives though, like with the phony Sound of Freedom movie

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bXEjznp5Kdo

>>15461
I honestly cant tell if the top is a little boy or not. Source?

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>>15466
>I honestly cant tell if the top is a little boy or not. Source?
I sure as hell hope so

>>15314
You just know.

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This is a lot like me and ashley and /ashleyj/

>>15526
This video always gives me a rock hard boner

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this is a lot like me and ashley

>>15466
it was just a webm from /tv/ i came across.
I think the film is an Eva Green film where theres some really strong Derrick and Derrick mums vibes.
I cant seem to find the name of it though

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Me when I see the Ashley Jones fart compilation (try not to cry edition)

https://xhamster.com/videos/jessi-fucking-11733488

It's just me and ashley

>>15646
What message are you trying to convey by linking to this video of some kind of late pleistocene era megafauna crushing its prey to death?

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This is a lot like me and Ashley.

>>15646
>>15658
no more like 
https://xhamster.com/videos/i-like-to-put-my-toy-all-in-my-husband-s-ass-xh2x5X0

IT WAS ONE OF THE RELATED VIDEOS OK I DIDNT SPECIFICALLY LOOK THAT UP OK

>>15658
as a fatty myself images like this make my peepee go doing doing doing boing

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>>15658
Fake. Her feet don't take up half the picture like Ashleys do.

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>>15671
my family...

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Me watching Ashley vids on a cold comfy Sunday morning.

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>>15674

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>>15675

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This is a lot like me and Ash, 2073

>>15674
Sounds comfy. I on the other hand worked 12 hours, slept for 5 hours, had a dream I was still at work, woke up and had 20 minutes to get ready for work.

>>15689
>works for a lifetime to support you and the children
>cranky old hag has the nerve to bitch about doing a few dishes and pressing "start" on the washer
Even at that age, they're not really adults, are they?

>>15691
They're not childish either, just shitty personalities

>>15692
You're right, kids are better

>>15196
Only in a alternate timeline.

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this is a lot like me and ashley

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this is what i will do to Ashley

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>>15729

>>15737
That seems about right

>>15737
is this an inside joke I'm too normie to understand?

>>15739
IYKYK

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>>15739
She does abstract art, that's all.

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>>15739
>is this an inside joke I'm too normie to understand?
apparently. open your mouth baby bird, I'm going to spoon feed you

>>15742
At least she got paid. Ashley does it for free.

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this is a lot like me and ashley

>>15742
She's very cute. Its a shame she made such a terrible decision when she was only in highschool.

>>15770
Meh, who really cares. Everyone has sex and a lot of people are into facefucking or whatever. She can still live a relatively normal life, this stuff doesn't impact people like it did in the 80's.

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>>15772
>Everyone has sex

>>15772
>She can still live a relatively normal life
No, she can't. Whatever daddy issues she has that caused her to do that will come out again later in life and she'll harm everyone around her out of spite. Hopefully she never has children.

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i want her feet in my fucking mouth ashley this is your fault you did this you owe me foot fungus

>>15782
heh with those leg warmers(?) covering most of her feet, the exposed feet look like deformed hands.

I prefer the sole over the toes

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>>15782

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>>15782
Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.

But that's even worse.

The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

>>15791
Burger King fast food deal
Baby this burger tastes like foot fungus hell

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this kind of like me and Ashley

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>>15878
>build girlfriend a dildo bike
>a few weeks go by
>in a rush to get to work
>forget to put pants on because in a rush
>grab what I think is my bike
>take pants off
>oh wait my pants were already off
>sit down
>ohshit.gif
>really in a rush so I have to ride her dildo bike to work
>peddling faster and faster
>ass naturally moves up and down from fast peddling
>accidentally give self prostate milking
>get to work
>get off bike
>still not wearing pants
>realize I have to get back on the bike and go home to get pants
>turn around to get on bike
>picrel stole my bike

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>>15883
>think things have already gone great badly enough today
>run down the bike thief
>try to knock him off my girlfriend's dildo bike
>have some difficulty dislodging him from the dildo
>eventually succeed
>decide to teach him a lesson
>buttfuck him
>uhoh.jpeg
>he likes it
>now he's my boyfriend
>dump girlfriend but keep her bike
>6 months later
>AIDs test results positive

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This is a lot lke me and Ashley.

>>14470
Going by the way the world is now, with the evil WEF corporation, money won't be essential.

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can you guys be quiet pls? my gf and i are eating

>>16050
I WILL |IMPREGNATE ASHLEY JONES WITH MY PENIS||

>>16051
lol oops

>>16052
faggots cant christmas post

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>>15878
>>15883
>>15885
>be Antiques Guy
>making my way down town to another antiques store
>see two fags fight fucking each other
>Actual fags not "Freelance Antiques Guys"
>see a one of a kind bike
>whip out my vintage RCA CC300 camcorder to record them fighting
>use my secret ninja skills that no one knew Antiques Guy had and sneak up and steal the bike
>get my friend Barry's "drinking buddy" who uses twitter to complain about Joe Biden, China, freedom of speech and liberals, to post video of the 2 fags fighting over a rare, one of a kind dildo bike 
>or dildokike as I like to call it ok
>said video goes viral
>hey hey hey
>everyone now wants the dildokike
>post a listing on my ebay for the dildokike
>it sells for over 3,000
>made scads of buckeroos that day
>feelsAntiquesGuy ok

>>16056
kek. I am thoroughly enjoying this saga

>>16056
>get my friend Barry's "drinking buddy" who uses twitter to complain about Joe Biden, China, freedom of speech and liberals, to post video of the 2 fags fighting over a rare, one of a kind dildo bike 
heh heh this story writes itself. good job antiques guy! you can turn anything into profit. did you clean up the bike before reselling?

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>>15878
>>15883
>>15885
>>16056
>Watching some football on Sunday alone as usual and drinking a Budweiser beer instead of Bud Light because Im protesting Bud Light due to some some shit i saw on Boomerbook
>my new friend Antiques Guy rings me up
>he starts raving about two fags fucking 
>immediately panic and try to explain that Jeff and i are just drinking buddies who also like to occasionally go on "boys only trips" into a deserted field and stay in the same tent
>awkward silence
>he starts to talk but cuts himself off and tells me to shut the fuck up ok? even though i wasnt even speaking
>no clue whats going
>Antiques Guy then asks for my camping buddies twitter, mentioning something about making scat or bucks
>tell him "the twitter" and follow up by asking if he wants to come over and watch the game with me
>Antiques Guy hangs up 
>feelsbadman
>go back to my football, Budweiser and lead paint chips
>in the background I hear my bitch of a wife start complaining about needing fresh bandages after the CRT TV that i paid for, exploded in her face
>barrymcdonalds.exe

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>>16074
>Watching some football on Sunday alone
>in the background I hear my bitch of a wife

How can this be? Or is this just literary license?

>>16078
Just because you have a wife doesn't mean you're not alone ;_;

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>>16079
so true...

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>>16079
Heh, heh, well said

Yeah, yeah, I'll fucking, I'll fucking take you to the farmers market
And get you the freshest veggies and shit
Like, like, they serve at Whole Foods
Yeah, I'll fucking, yeah, I'll fucking, yeah I'll take you antiquing And buy you the nicest doll house. Hand-painted!
Oh shit. I, alright, I'll fucking, I'll fucking
Take you horseback-riding on the white sands of sunny Portugal
Motherfucker!
I'll fucking take you to Martha's Vineyard to go
Clamming and shit, eat some bisque on the wing of clam chowder
Up in this beast
Yeah I'll fucking, I'll set up a juice cleanse for both of us
We'll do the master cleanse, and I'll help you get the
Mental clarity that you always wanted
And help you with your IBS!
I'll fucking, I'll fucking, I'll fucking take you to a
Yoga Ashram and shit, in fucking Toronto
Yo, I'll fucking help you type out your resume with the finest fonts!
And set up your business plan!
And I'll say that you're proficient at Microsoft Excel
And that you have good planning skills!
Sounds nice, son!

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me and Ashley in 2010

>>16078
huh?
no as in, they are separated in the house. Barry is alone in the living room watching Football and Linda is in another room somewhere else
this is a lot like my mum and stepdad

>>16096
I thought this was some sort of porno at first

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this is me and Ashley 
I'm not dark skinned, just really tanned

>>16103
STOOOOP I DONT WANT TO SEE GAY SHIT WHEN I COME HERE

>>16106
butt there is only 1 benis and pauls going into the baby making hole in this mp4? u seeing gay* shit where there isnt. Time 4 u to make a confession while its not 2 late.
*a bug literally landed on my monitor when typed the word gay actually fr fr.. bug... gay.... hello Taz, is that you?

>>16107
The video features two men

>>16107
Take that thong out ya bussy playa

>>16103
Ashley pegging autistic children without her usual lighting tricks and makeup

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this is a lot like me and Taz

>>16159
I WAS GOING TO POST THAT BENCHOD BLOODY BASTARD BITCH

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this is a lot like Ashley admiring my super hot gf

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This is a lot like me and Ashle-ACK!

>>16220
would way rather have sex with the little boy here

>>16222
looks like she legit smacked his head pretty good against that wall

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This is somewhat like me and ashley

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>>16222

>>16256
seeing this image is like looking in a mirror. god i wish that wasnt me.

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This is something like me and Ashley, 2084

>>16259
I see her hunch hasnt gotten any worse with age