/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.

⊖ Thread has reached reply limit.

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Here lies posts or threads that deserve to be moved into the void. It's a dark, black (or brown... sometimes even pink), stinky abyss. This thread is for posts unworthy of any other location.
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My 2 druthers are studying  hard this semester.
3 Males care mora about the land.
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I live on here
Never direrved anything whatsoever but i enjoy <3
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<3 my new gf
doesn't work here
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Void don't real, get a job nigga
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don't say that
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uhhhhhhh what's going on brothers????
Bros.....what if Ashley wore the little dildo on her nose????
I wish my cheesesticks danced faster...
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Weapons for Ukraine! #ArmUkraineNow
>october 1st
did anyone remind ash to pay her server bills this month? I've been having fun with you guys and that dumb down syndrome retard always forgets and the sites go down (like her syndrome)
wow I need one of these for me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Is the board and her website randomly returning timed out connections for anyone else?
its been happening for around the last 4-ish hours
Replies: >>13627 >>13663
Just like Ashley's website I too go down on men
Replies: >>13637
You would know since you fantasize about me so much. Having a hard on for me isn't doing it for me anymore. You're just too easy.
well its fixed now, she was probably charging her vibrating microphone and it was consuming loads of AC and it kept cutting power to her server.
Replies: >>13765
the black bg makes pinktexting look like seedy neon signs

>>12605 (OP) 
I miss when the hole shaked

it gave me something in my life to aim 4
the cum tribby thread has COME to a CLIMAX, CUMMING to its maximum LOAD of replies, so posting this here...
>as someone who visits this board a few times a day as part of my "alt chan" rotation

I need to broaden my horizons, what other websites/chans does anyone recommend?
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god dammit I can't count and I'm retarded
Replies: >>13965
nah I'm retarded
this would have made for a great GET

shame your such a fuckup and came to early!
how do you even fuck up this badly
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Hey ash. Can you add a flag of black ghetto culture plz? I really want to talk like this roleplaying. I think We Can have Lots of fun.

Ashly Burch in her late 40s
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Seabee, you mind spoilering that image? No one wants to see your peepee.
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Ashley doesn't fear the FBI because she's........

Hey Ashley I found you a gf
thanks for the handy tutorial Ash, very useful
anyone tried Brave Talk? is it safe/good?
Replies: >>15438 >>15441
Theres a lot more established alternatives that I would trust more. A browser should prioritize being a browser. Going back to the ol' philosophy of do one thing and do it well. For open source encrypted chats there's a lot to pick from. It depends what exactly youre looking for.
Replies: >>15441
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>is it safe
The reason you'll never get a satisfying answer to this kind of very broad question is that "safe" for you might be very, very different than "safe" for another person in a different situation with different goals or adversaries.

Understanding and applying threat modeling to your unique situation will help you make smarter decisions and ask smarter questions.

>What do you want to protect?
>Who do you want to protect it from?
>How likely is it that you will need to protect it?
>How bad are the consequences if you fail?
>How much trouble are you willing to go through in order to try to prevent potential consequences?

Learn more*:
* not necessarily an endorsement of all information present, although the EFF does important work

Having said that, if you want my anonymous opinion, then I would say >>15438 is absolutely correct. For E2EE voice chat just use Matrix/Jitsi. Though for truly sensitive information, I wouldn't use my voice at all. GPG or XMPP+OMEMO would likely be a good choice. If you need an "app" then Session is likely also fine.
Iz Ashley’s sleep schedule fucky wucky rn? I’ve  made phone calls during normal waking hours but she ain’t been pickin up.
Replies: >>15493 >>15510
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>normal waking hours
>implying ash conforms to anything remotely normal
Sorry anon, looks like you better set your alarm for 3am and try calling her again.
Have you left your phone number so she can call you back after she wakes up and puts on her human skin suit?
I'm with you bro! I'll do it at uhhh 4:30 AM, I promise!
Replies: >>15552
I'm gonna do it on December SECOND!
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Now wheres my rope?...

ahh shit i dont have any and the rope store is closed. I'll have to do tomorrow morning
Replies: >>15556 >>15566
oh wow i got some nice quads!
maybe things are starting to turn around for me? looks like i wont need that rope overalls
My dad has some ropes and my mom has a pearl necklace you can try. 
those are cum references
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>World AIDS Day is held on 1 December each year to help raise awareness about HIV and AIDS

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also this name field has made me laugh like a retard for the last 5minutes

I actually dont have aids, just these white genital warts. Its fine though, I got rid of all my nude photos in some little boys rubbish bin so no one will see them, especially my dead wife.... I MISS U :(

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brb killing myself rn frfr ong
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kek this is hilarious

what seems to be the trouble sir
Replies: >>15657
I think it has aids but missed out on celebrating it and felt bad because its no longer world aids day, so they have to go back 2 being just everyday hey i have to live with aids day 
imagine the pain, well u dont because u probs have aids as well
Replies: >>15664
the only reason I have aids is because you gave it to me during our gay sex session (in the butt) (my rectum) (your wiener)
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Whenever I read an opinion online, I read it in Taz’ voice. If it sounds like something Taz would say, I know they’re wrong.
grimace rizz shake from ohio skibidi thicc latina gyatt shawty edging W on ma mama lil bro yapping L fr no cap deadass gooning fanum tax busin sus AF sigma chad blud chopped cheese glizzy the ocky way
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Unintentional that I got ashley's face in this generator.
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prompt: kpop boy who is an antiques collector dumpster diver with small penis thats hidden by ugly biowoman
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What's she saying, /ashleyj/?

>Daaaaddddd we're out of cereal
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oh we are out of milk?
no problem, I got this
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I win
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fake news
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Challenge mode (TAZ EDITION): browse the board 500% zoomed in
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Ashley Jones owes me sex
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>>12605 (OP) 
Wow. That really is Ashley Jones' anus. Disgusting.
Replies: >>16182 >>19739
You sound desperate. Too bad you won’t get any.
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Not Ashley. There are no balls present.
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Did someone say balls present?!!!!
Permit me to announce, with an air of utmost refinement and sophistication, that within my esteemed possession lie two meticulously chosen telephonic instruments, each designated with a distinct purpose of paramount significance. The first of these devices, my dear interlocutor, has been judiciously allocated to serve as the conduit through which I may engage in the most genteel and intricate dialogues with the select and venerable cadre of my business associates. This instrument, through its divine connectivity, permits the exchange of conversations pertaining to the intricacies of commerce, negotiations of the most illustrious stature, and collaborations of a particularly prosperous nature. On the other hand, the second device, selected with great circumspection, is tailored for the purposes of engaging in discourse with the charming members of the fairer sex, as well as for the management of financial affairs of the highest consequence. It is this instrument, you see, that facilitates not only conversations of an amorous nature but also the administration of matters that pertain to the accrual and stewardship of wealth. Thus, my dear conversational companion, I trust you now comprehend the exquisite rationale behind my ownership of these dual communication tools, each finely honed for their respective domains of discourse.
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You said cum
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This second telephonic device, its existence is for the simultaneous purpose of both engaging in discourse with the fairer sex, whilst also for facilitating the management of delicate financial affairs?

hmmm yes a wickedly dangerous cocktail, do be careful old chap.
*twirls handlbar mustache*
Ashley Jones owes me money!
I lent her $40 because she reckoned she needed to go to the grocery store for tampons, but when she got back... she didnt have a grocery bag let alone any tampons.
but you know what she did have... you know what did have bros...

the scent of pizza on her breath.
Not just any old pizza though, this scent smelled specifically like a large onion and cheese pizza with extra cheese from Papa Murphys!

not only has she not paid me back, but she went out and got some pizza without me

I was pretty upset about this, internally seething if you will because I was also in the middle an epic CoD match with the boys and didnt want them to hear me cry. 
So I calmly mute my headset, place it gently on the arm of our futon, turn to her and look her dead in the eyes. 
As she turns her head to look back at me I notice lil bit of pizza grease on her chin, almost like she left it there on purpose, showing it off, daring me to bring up the secret large onion and cheese pizza with extra cheese from Papa Murphys she just ate with my $40.
As we are are gazing deeply into each others eyes, into each other souls if you will. I ask her "...Get what you wanted from the store?"
She smirks at me and without batting an eye, simply replies back... "Yep"

That really hurt my feelings bros ;_;
Replies: >>16253
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>She smirks at me

Yup, Ashley is the Queen of smirk or leer if you will, nobody does it better.
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>tfw Ashley is too busy getting gangbanged by niggers to call you back
Replies: >>16291 >>16314
Ashley doesn't call me back either, but it's probably because she picks up right away every time I call. Apparently she has a pretty funny voicemail greeting? I wouldn't know.
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I like to imagine that Ashley is a bit like a bear.
No this isnt a body hair joke, what I meant by that is she goes into a sort of "hibernation" when she is writing, filming and editing.
she gets so focused, so focused that aside from eating her one bland meal a day consisting of heggs, rice and broccoli, she doesnt do anything else besides working on her latest video.
she doesnt shower, she doesnt brush her teeth and poor bandit has to scavenge every floor of every room in her house just for crumbs to survive.
Hell she doesnt even go to the toilet!!!. No, instead she just wears a diaper and goes on the spot, right then and there, all just so she doesnt have any interruption towards completing her next video

Thats the kind of work she puts in
Thats the kind of sacrifice she has for us!
thats the kind of commitment she has for her art...

ladies and gentleman... thats the kind of work horse Ashley is
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Well said. All true artists, Ashley included, suffer for their art. They strive and obsess for the sometimes elusive paragon of perfection. This obsession manifests itself in many forms from mild, some of which you mentioned, to madness. Vincent van Gogh the world famous painter cut part of his ear off in a moment of madness. Sometimes true artists aren't appreciated in their own lifetime, only after their passing. We should value and respect what has been so unselfishly laid before us.
You are gay
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This is closer to reality than you can possibly imagine.
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What are your new years resolutions, guys?

Mine is to beat obesity
Replies: >>16459
>What are your new years resolutions, guys?
>Mine is to beat obesity
mine is to beat up obese people
wait, no that would include beating up myself and the only thing of mine that I beat up is... my... self-esteem and that isnt even obese

OK but fr i know its tired and cliche but join a gym and get in better shape. I figure if I feel better physically then I should feel better mentally too right?
Replies: >>16496
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Up until a few years ago I would get up real early, go to the gym and swim a mile in the lap pool, Swimming is the best way to stay in shape. Then one day some ass hole backed his car up and crashed into the plate glass windows sending glass into the pool. The owner of the gym shut the pool down to drain it and sweep up the glass in the pool. After waiting for all the pool work to be finished I lost interest and started working out at home. If you're not into swimming, buy 2 15 pound dumbbells and a Navy Seal exercise manual and you can do a whole routine at home and save yourself a lot of money.
Replies: >>16508
>Swimming is the best way to stay in shape.
Yeah, but I have to be like naked and stuff... and I'm legally not allowed to be naked around the public.
Sorry to hear some jackass ruined your pool. Swimming is really cool but I prefer the beach... I miss being a kid in small coastal town

Im just interested in feeling better physically, so its probably going to be more cardio stuff like using a rowing machine which I found to be really fun and better than boring treadmills or bike machines.
Of course I will still PUMP IRON.
An at home gym sounds nice but I dont have the space for it PLUS going to a gym means i get to perv on women who think that working out is basically just doing squats, bending over, sticking your ass in the air, etc all while wearing the tightest, most skimpiest of "gym attire" 
shits gonna be cash yo
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Yeah, I have to somewhat agree with you, working out at the gym has it's perks like tight bodied girls in tight yoga pants. Maybe it's time for me to reconsider, heh, heh.
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Derrick is asking for my christmas present (semen)
umm where fuck is the devil flag???????????????????????????????????????
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I found one of Ashleys old TikToks
america will never be free, ill be sure of it owo
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Im pretty sure shes never hit puberty anon
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me when ashley came back
do anyone here have christmas decorations still up?
Replies: >>17493 >>17515
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ashley i lpve u i love u i love u i love u ashley ashley heyyy
I still have the Conky Christmas Tree on my  desktop
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Its looking solid but how could it be improved?
Replies: >>17620
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"Yeah," OP thought. "This generic /pol/ post needs to be recycled over on Tubgurl as a new thread." He gagged on the cock he was sucking for a moment before continuing, "That's a good idea."
I'd tell you to eat shite but that'd just be an offer to a nice meal, wouldn't it, boyo?
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Replies: >>17903
I saw a video where it shows this guys like 20 years ago slowly progressing onward. He was a normal looking guy, had a son, happy looking family, I think star wars fan (of course), then he slowly started morphing into being a BBC king
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Ashley shops for tampons
Replies: >>17974
That guy is obvi in on the tik tok, I bet he's railing that white queen as we speak
Replies: >>17985
He's in on the Tiktok and also in her
Replies: >>17988
You know what else he's gonna be in? Prison.
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This is the lost get
it doesnt have its own thread to celebrate the digits

it only exists in The Void
Replies: >>18017
unironically pretty metal
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still not funny
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https://yewtu.be/watch?v=jDy7K1uFdnY german ashley
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Where does Ashley fall on this chart, anons? Be honest.
I'd say she's a solid 7, and she's not even trying.
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10, gigastacy resemblance is uncanny.

Also, found some Chuck E Cheese 9/11 predictive programming.
Replies: >>18072
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Nice more predictive programming
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You've got it backwards fuck face
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Does this mean that King Kong did 911?
Replies: >>18098 >>18100
I have a king kong blow up doll from this movie. Mine has a hole in it, though.
Honestly if your talking about those actual terms then she does not fit into any of those.
No, but it does mean you're a docile, malleable normie
Replies: >>18105
nah thats you
Replies: >>18106
Behold, the corn syrup and fluoride drenched brain
Replies: >>18340
I'll take low tier becky, please
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>You've reached the voicemail of (725) 286-3278, please send a text message, or leave a message after the tone.
Replies: >>18311
My Ashley withdrawal has kicked in.
I have a mother fucking Justin Bieber song stuck in my head
Replies: >>18328
lil nigga has catchy ass songs tbh
No, you got offended because I made a King Kong joke about that nigger doing 911. Relax it’s just a joke.
Replies: >>18345
I don't need a normie midwit like you to tell me to relax. You're not even fit to engage in the marketplace of ideas. All you do is regurgitate the slop ((( they ))) feed you day in and day out
Replies: >>18385
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Have you guys ever taken a "Staycation"?
I’m not regurgitating anything nor am I a midwit like you. I was just making joke. You are just being a snow flake now.
Please anons, this is not a place to fight.
Personally I don't think the Predictive Programming theory holds any water.
This is painful to read.
Lol. lmao even
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Personally I think you might be retarded
Replies: >>18391 >>18392
Your meme of false quotes, pages of comics by artists who lived and wrote stuff about NYC (With WTC as a landmark since 1977 up until 2001) and the giant doll blew my mind,
Will it blow something else in my nether region as well? :3
Replies: >>18393 >>18396
The day Osama bin Laden accepted responsibility for 9/11


Replies: >>18393 >>18396
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You know when you hear people talk about NPCs? That's you. You're the NPC.

Sorry, do you mean CIA asset Tim Osman? Picture related.
Replies: >>18394
You believe the crackpots who came up with these schizophrenic theories out of their buttholes with no basis or specialty in diddly and let me stick to reality.
Replies: >>18397
We have a deboonker.

>linking MSM as a source
Replies: >>18398
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>no basis or specialty in diddly
Replies: >>18399
The quotes are false. I looked up the initial two and they are not factual. So I fail to see why a stupid false meme should be any more convincing than recorded facts.
Replies: >>18400
"Duh, I saw it in cartoons! That means it's a ConSpIracY!"
Replies: >>18400
Did snopes tell you that? Or politifact? Or one of the other dozens of Bill Gates funded fact-checking websites? Your use of calling things a "meme" on just a regular image is exactly what those websites do. Sheep see sheep do.

You don't think it's strange there's compilations of hours worth of cartoons, comics, music albums, songs, movies, all depicting all the same thing, a plane going into the Twin Towers? You don't think it's strange there's a pilot show aired 6 months before 9/11 depicting an airplane getting hijacked and nearly misses hitting the Twin Towers? How much can you really hand-wave away hundreds upon hundreds of "coincidences"? I'm amazed there's still people who believe the government issued "official" story. Enjoy your vaccine induced death, the government is definitely the one looking out for you.
Replies: >>18401
No, a meme I found on some Schizo tard's website told me that. And since I'm a lazy bum who likes to read memes and look at images since I have the attention span of a goldfish and I don't care to look up things I see for authenticity and factuality just because it drives my preferred narrative and makes me feel good about it then it must be right and anyone who actually looks into it and opposes it is clearly the stupid one.

>You don't think it's strange there's compilations of hours worth of cartoons, comics, music albums, songs, movies, all depicting all the same thing, a plane going into the Twin Towers? You don't think it's strange there's a pilot show aired 6 months before 9/11 depicting an airplane getting hijacked and nearly misses hitting the Twin Towers? How much can you really hand-wave away hundreds upon hundreds of "coincidences"? I'm amazed there's still people who believe the government issued "official" story. Enjoy your vaccine induced death, the government is definitely the one looking out for you.

No, I think if anything it was your dumbass artists who regurgitates each other's repetitive shit about the towers that influenced the fucking Arabs to see the towers as the perfect target to terrorize Americans and ridicule the west because "Allah is Great", brother.

You're also hinting that the passengers and crews who died in those crashes were victims of a dirty government plot who sacrificed thousands of Americans over war in Iraq and WMDs that didn't exist. I don't see how they couldn't have come up with WMDs in Iraq if they could come up with murdering their own fellow citizens.
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>You're also hinting that the passengers and crews who died in those crashes were victims of a dirty government plot who sacrificed thousands of Americans 
Yes. But
>he actually thinks planes hit the tower
You're on your own. Don't forget this on your way out.
Replies: >>18406
Solid argument with that pic there.
Are you quittin on me?
Make your counterargument. Please do look up some more new pics and montage of cartoons to counter it.
No, the planes were clearly fake. So were the passengers, crew and the airline. Their families who mourned them? fake
I mean there is nothing about the planes and the victims is there? I mean I don't think you should look it up. It's certainly fake.
The people who witnessed the plane entering the buildings? fake

You're completely ignoring the basis of the attacks. You're saying those Arabs actually had not part in this, which is insane. Arabs have been committing these acts since the creation of Israel. Don't you get it? It's in their blood to resolve to violence. Hijacking planes is their specialty
Replies: >>18407 >>18408
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Ahhh there it is
>argue with me! :)
I knew you were one of those which is why I'm not going to further reply. I have no interest in arguments that go nowhere, I prefer a discussion. Either you further research for yourself or continue to stew in willful ignorance being spoonfed to you by Snopes (Bill Gates & Co.), CNN, CIA, Wikipedia, and other MSM with an agenda and their fixation on censoring opposing thoughts. At least here we can even talk about it unlike 99% of the internet. What a waste to use an actual platform for neocon twitter user takes.
Replies: >>18412
I have no dog in this game. I just fail to see how your points of reference are any stronger than mine. If you post it I will read it.

The soymilk pic was a great discussion point. Thanks. At least don't be a hypocrite about it. Admit that you can't "discuss" without ad hominem.

Everything is fake apparently. You tell me where to look.
Replies: >>18414 >>18415
Pal you're the one making all the normiest of normie mainstream media takes. People in this thread are literally saying "hey I think the government does psyops" and you're like "nuh uh!"

If you think these people have your best interest at heart then I really don't know what to tell you, that's a naive and childish view of reality and you probably can't be saved
>You tell me where to look.
Except not really when someone tells you. But I got a solution. Since you only Wikipedia, try this on for size. I think you'll find it fact-checked, mainstream media approved, and safe and effective!
i love gay sex
Replies: >>18417
hahaha dude I can't believe you actually typed that holy shit what a fucking faggot lol
Replies: >>18418
You know, saying the word faggot is how gays identify each other ;)
faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot
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Replies: >>18423 >>18458
that's thirteen words
It was King Kong who did 911 nigger. And also Black people were invented when a gorilla came to a village and mated with a white woman. The gorilla had escaped from a zoo. Black people didn’t come from Africa on those slave ships. You have to remember that they don’t like being called African American.
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the article itself is just as retarded as you'd think. Who keeps up with this garbage? I think the only Taylor Swift song I've heard is the one that was made into the annoying goat meme
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I burned off my eyebrows on accident and now I look like a fucking alien.
Replies: >>18538
>I burned off my eyebrows on accident
Replies: >>18614 >>18621
Gay people invented alien abductions in the 1940s to explain sudden, long absences from public life, and alien probes in the 1950s to explain why said absences were accompanied by looser, more nimble asses.
bruh i just woke up one day and them shits was gone
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I don't think that worked out well.
Replies: >>18732
Yeah the best clips to use are ones where nothing goes over their faces. Plus Ashley has fringe in all of her videos so that doesnt help either.
I think the professional ones use both the deepfake and the source, but you mask out part of the deepfaked so anything like a cock for example that goes in front of the face, will show thru
Replies: >>18905 >>19513
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broke into Ashley's place
Its Valentines Day this Wednesday the 14th (also Ash Wednesday).

Last year we made valentines day cards for Ashley. did we want to do that again? or should we do something else instead? 
Im assuming most here have no plans for that day
I have plans but I thought we’d wish Ashley a Happy Valentine’s Day, and maybe make her a card or send her a gift card.
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Love is in the air. We should make her a loving Duke Nukem hug photo except Duke Nukem is taller than these manlets in picrel who have deformed 5' 5" girlfriends who smile too much with their mouth open like they're a baby bird about to receive their mom's regurg'd meal. I feel like Ashley would just really like a picture of Duke hugging her. Then we should make a small voice clip to go along with it so Ashley can continue her daily routine of looking at a Ash x Duke picture while replaying audio clips of Duke calling Ashley cute and making various orgasm sounds.

Or we can just reuse the Christmas card and draw a heart on it
Replies: >>18866
I plan to kill myself.
Do you want to talk, anon? Why would you want to kill yourself?
Cancel your plans, anon. Ashley is working on a new video.
unironically just CONSOOOOOOOOM for dopamine
Replies: >>18842
A person’s life may be at stake here. This is no time for levity.
Replies: >>18846 >>18855
I'm just kidding. This time.

I was being quite serious, putting it off to experience some joy, even simple ones, will lead you to the ultimate joy. It’s like quitting smoking. Just tell yourself “I won’t do it today” every day.
Replies: >>18850
I don’t know about that. But I do enjoy certain vices in life. One of them is smoking and I’ll be really pissed if I miss an opportunity to feed this concealed habit.
Replies: >>18851
Depends on what and how often you smoke, I’d say
Replies: >>18854
I’m a social smoker so I prefer to smoke with other smoker friends. Occasionally I smoke alone and it’s always tobacco. I’ve never done anything hard. Maybe three or four times a week. And each time no more than 5 ciggies. Lately I’ve been smoking more. Dying from cancer is a tradition in my family. I wonder if it will eventually catch up with me.
Replies: >>18856
>giving advice on the TUBGURL board in the GAPING SPACE ASSHOLE thread
Replies: >>18863
Why don't do other things with your friends that won't be detrimental to your health like jerk eachother off, suck eachother off or ride eachother's cocks. Good clean fun.
Replies: >>18857
Cause unlike you im not a gayfag
Replies: >>18858
You just suck on fags

Little European humor for you FUCKING LAUGH
Replies: >>18859
Oh ho ho
Yes, very jolly of you, old bean
A little bit of the old humour, eh? What what
Gawd sa-yve tha King.
Anyways... Valentines Day. What do we do?
Replies: >>18867
Let's start a new thread for it and the someone (biggest simp here ) posts the his initial message on a card is what we do. Then the rest of us fill in the card.
Replies: >>18871
>the someone (biggest simp here )
Ok, which one of you nerd losers is the biggest simp here? It sure isn't me.
Replies: >>18872
I'm Ashley and I made >>18870, so I'm unsure where I line up in this scenario
Replies: >>18873 >>18884
I believe this post. The request for gay porn was a dead giveaway
Aww! Narcissistic prick
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The original one if anyone knows to know lol.
i hate this board
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David Irving - Historical Point of View to The Nüremberg Trials.
this board smells
What did you guys do for Feb 14? 

I did nothing. Each year that passes the less and less I'm interested in holidays. Holidays are for children and women.
I wanted to celebrate a romantic evening with my wife but we were out of cash to buy each other gifts or go out and she was tired from working and taking care of the baby. It was spent like any other day. We promised each other we’d make up for it later.
Replies: >>19360
Had sex with my co-worker.

Ass to mouth.
She begged for it, all of it. Everywhere. 
She wanted it so bad. Well bros, she fucking got it.
I made sure each one of her holes were serviced and satisfied before blowing a fat fucking load all over that cum guzzling whores face

I left her so exhausted, we laughed afterwards about what she could say to her husband to get out of going on the romantic evening he wanted to celebrate with her.
I do feel somewhat bad because they have a kid together.
oh well.
It's the thought that counts. How did you meet? Is married life what they say it is? I'm a forever alone virgin so I'll never find out.
Replies: >>19368
Meh its not like that kid is her husbands anyways.
That's odd that you mention that because the very same thing happened to me except I turned her down.
>Is married life what they say it is? 
I don’t know what they have said. Heh
It’s alright. It can be very demanding sometimes. My wife is a loyal and caring woman. We were in our early twenties when we married. At first we were quite passionate about each other and we still are but the excitement starts to fade after a couple of years. Marriage taught me a lot of things. To be more confident and social. To act more manly and hide my fears and weaknesses (women hate signs of weakness in a grown man, even if they deny it. It’s in their nature to be repulsed by it. They want someone strong to rely on. They want you to protect and soothe them at their lowest. It’s never the other way around.)
After the baby’s birth our responsibilities have become more and we have less free time to ourselves but we really enjoy the experience of raising our baby. He’s a boy btw. He makes baby noises and smiles at us while crawling around the house all the time which has brought us a lot of amusement and joy.
So on the whole marriage is alright. I enjoy it far better than my bachelor days when I felt sad and alone all the time.
>I'm a forever alone virgin so I'll never find out.
Have faith, anon. It’ll get better. If I made it, so can you!
Replies: >>19386
>After the baby’s birth our responsibilities have become more and we have less free time to ourselves but we really enjoy the experience of raising our baby. He’s a boy btw. He makes baby noises and smiles at us while crawling around the house all the time which has brought us a lot of amusement and joy.

Sounds like you got the good ending fren, whish you and the rest of the niggers on here the best. Thanks for sharing, it's nice to hear something positive once in a while in a world that's so fucked up
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This dragon looks like Ashley
Replies: >>19408 >>19409
That bitch with the blonde hair and far apart eyes looks like Ashley
I would love to be that dragon. Imagine having that stallion's balls sitting on you.
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Is she saying her boss is the camera's view or her boss is her? My autism can't decipher this but that's probably because a woman wrote it.
Replies: >>19431
It's blatantly obvious that the camera view is the boss and she is the employee fucking him.
Replies: >>19432
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Really gay to get pegged in your ass by a cute girl. 

Related song to Five Guys by Timmy Thicc.
Replies: >>19433
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damn that track is still a banger
heh. Anything goes on tubgurl amirite my fellow edgelords?????????????
Took Derrick's mother out for a facial and a pearl necklace.

The 20,000 GET is rapidly approaching.
This is a significant moment in the boards history, lets not see it go to waste on some random post.
Replies: >>19515 >>19707

This one is a little better, slower though, >>19162
I thought this too. What do we do? This is a massive achievement worthy of competition.
Replies: >>19516
Oops sorry forgot to quote. I thought this too. What do we do? This is a massive achievement worthy of competition.
Is it really?
Replies: >>19527
Fuck you fags. Im gonna get the 20000 get and youre all gonna watch me cum tribute ashleys face.
Why make us wait? ♥‿♥
Replies: >>19521
Well anon, i suppose you could do that, or maybe you couldn't? I guess we'll just have to wait and see huh?
Replies: >>19523
Whatever he does, I'm sure he'll do it on his own time, and that's something I guess we can all respect.
You should cum tribute your own face. That would be pretty cool to see.
Replies: >>19525
Youll see. Youll all see. Just 478 posts and 1 boner to go.
Man I've done that before :(
This could've been posted in the Valentine's Day thread.
Thinking about doing my first cum tribute. Can anyone give me some tips? I know about the saran wrap trick. I don't have a tablet though so I'm going to have to put my monitor laying flat. I'm worried that I won't be able to cum or that my load will be disappointing.
Replies: >>19530 >>19556
You're risking electrocution bu doing it this way, I already made that mistake. I suggest buying a cheap off brand tablet for like twenty bucks and making it your dedicated cum tribute tablet. You could also just print the picture out.
Thinking about doing my first cum tribute. Can anyone tell me Ashley's address? I know about the saran wrap trick. I don't have a lot of trunk space though so I'm not going to be able to lay her flat. I'm worried that she might not be into guys who wear latex and carry knives.
Replies: >>19535 >>19556
> I don't have a lot of trunk space though
You have a lot of junk in your trunk. Cut back on the Olive Garden bread sticks.
Theres lots of things you could do, but keep it ashley fucking J related, ya feel me? Listen, 20k is cause for a fucking celebration ok? so that could be a theme.
It could be in the form of a GIMPED image or a drawing, a story or even song

Nice. As a collector of GETS myself, all you F.A.G.I.T's would do well to adopt this guy ALPHA attitude, ok?

>saran wrap
Saran wrap? what is this amateur hour? pfffffft whatever dude!
Listen kid, want you wanna do, is cum directly onto the screen like god intended, ok?
Then, after youre done, wipe those discarded babies right off with some napkins ya feel me?
That reminds me, This one time, my dad and I stole a bunch of napkins from a local Arby's restaurant, wrote icum.to on them and stuffed them back in the dispenser, thats free advertising ok?

Also, pro tip: If youre using a monitor, ya wanna lie it down flatter than a 24 year old PeerTubers chest, ok? You dont want any of that valuable cum dribbling down into the space where the screen meets the border of the monitor

Editor's Nut: Avoid any embarrassing post orgasm crusty cum build up by using a wet wipe of some kind to remove any excess semen residue

This guy fucks, ya feel me.
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Ashley, I feel that you're due for your bimonthly reminder that the female anus is INCREDIBLY close to the vagina. Your asshole is practically on top of your pussy, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Replies: >>19710 >>19724
ew, no pubic hair
Replies: >>19715
Is that why they smell so bad?
Replies: >>19725
I wouldn’t know. Where I live women rinse their ass and pussy with a bidet after every urination and defecation.
reverse image tinyeye and google, no image found!? : 0
Replies: >>19740
I don't think I've ever gotten a single result from using that piece of shit. Pretty sure Google is decently awful, haven't used them in years.
No luck, we just accept that's ashley magical vagina that she uses to shroud her penis. :(
Pimeyes is your best bet. I've used it a few times to find nudes of girls I'm friends with on social media.
Replies: >>19754
Well, it doesn't think the vagina is a face lol.
If it is her, due to the red dress she wore in one of her videos, it's winrar.
Replies: >>19758
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I'll give you the uncensored. But what do I get in return?
Replies: >>19758 >>20587
my post is stupid and have no idea what I was talking, was seething things and schizo, etc. lol
Replies: >>19759
Yeah I have no idea what you're saying.
Replies: >>19790
maybe i have dementia
Replies: >>19761
Maybe it's Maybelline
I did explain that already in the post you replied too. lol.
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Some odd fella made a thread about Ashley on kiwi farms. Unfortunately, it's in a subforum you need an account to view. This was preceded by some discussion on Ashley in their MadThad thread.
Ashley’s a schizo? wtf
Replies: >>19794

Onto if he had a penis
Replies: >>19796
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So would I. So would I
MadThad and Ash sex tape? Don't get my hopes up.
maybe i have dementia
>she may also fuck dogs and horses, but Im not sure

How do they think Bandit 2 and Bandit 3 were made?
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My own Kiwifarms thread - they just can't keep their hands off of mocking us trans sisters. Guys, nobody tell them about the estrogen pills I was mailing you. 

The OP is pretty decent, but I'll help clarify some things for the OP or anyone new here:

<Origin Story
>According to herself, she "made her debut in 2014 after upsetting 2+ million purple people on WorldStarHipHop," something I cannot verify.
This actually did happen. After I was posted to /pol/ in 2014, one of my videos where I talk about wanting to be black because they're more privileged was posted to WSHH. It got a large amount of views in the span of a day. It was also posted to Facebook (technically this is where it got 2 million views), but originally was posted to WSHH, then Facebook. The WSHH page has since been deleted, but you can still find the comments.

This resulted in a number of channels reacting to me. Including Tyrone Magnus, Amazing Athiest, and a Youtube channel called "Phils Crib Advise Show". I have these archived and plan on having a torrent comprised of all my old videos, including these reaction videos.

>Original /pol/ thread https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/37935560/
There were plenty of other threads, but soon threads about me were deleted, resulting in the 8chan board /ashleyj/.

My DNMX email no longer works as of October 2023. The DNMX service has shut down.
I briefly went to use cock.li (ashleyjones@horsefucker.org), but they have pretty poor deliverability - at least for the horsefucker.org domain. I still check that email, but tend to respond using my next email.
My current email is: ashleyjones@icum.to

My email is not self hosted. I have no interest in self-hosting email as it is very insecure as a means of communication. If you want secure email, then you'll want to encrypt messages via GPG and send that via email. Yes, there are email clients that make GPG encryption/decryption automatic, but at that point I'd rather use XMPP with OMEMO rather than dicking with the flawed system known as email. It's like the one normie federated service in which Google and other mainstream services are notorious for making it difficult to deliver with self hosted email. I hear plenty of horror stories about self hosting email. Maybe it's from retards who have no idea what they're doing, but I have low incentive to self host email when I could just communicate via GPG.

>inb4 use a private email service
All "private" email providers have their flaws - be it cock.li, Protonmail, Tutanota, Disroot. When DNMX shut down, I researched for a decent private email provider, but when email itself is flawed, you have a hard time finding a truly private provider. Cock.li, Proton, and Tuta all comply with authorities - so if that's your means of "privacy", count those out. Disroot is laughably "private", it shouldn't even be on the list given if you read their TOS and privacy policy. Anyways, since email flawed, I change how I interact with email. On unencrypted modes of communication, I act like what I say/type is being posted publicly. So on the few times a month I respond to a Gmail, Yahoo, etc. email, I act as if it's a public comment I'm leaving.

I use Protonmail and set up the MX records for my domain to interact with Protonmail - NOT because I think Protonmail is private or secure. As I said, all email is heavily flawed - metadata notwithstanding, you need to use GPG to enjoy reasonably private communications (of which Protonmail claims to do between Protonmail accounts - I'd rather do things locally on my machine rather than outsource privacy). I only choose to use Protonmail because the deliverability is good, I could pay in crypto to use their service, and it doesn't require a blood sample to sign up. I do not value Protonmail for the supposed "privacy" benefits and do not utilize Protonmail as if it is private. 90% of the emails I get are from Gmail accounts anyways.

>Icum channel: https://videos.icum.to/c/ashley.jones/videos
Just link https://videos.icum.to, that shows all of my videos on one page, and even has a few unlisted videos in the playlist on the homepage which cannot be seen in the channel that is currently linked. I also occasionally put banners on the video's homepage for special events. These will not be visible on the currently linked channel page.

>Ashley hosts an altchan which, to nobody's surprise, is filled to the brim with hentai, photoshopped porn of her, and 'sharty culture. It was originally migrated from several websites, including but not limited to 8chan.
There's no sharty culture here. My demographic seems to be ~25-40 years old. Sharty seems to be made up of younger people and isn't seen often here.

>She professes that it (Tubgurl) was created exclusively by her, having stolen code and used YouTube programming guides to launch it.
Absolutely never have I claimed that my imageboard was created by me. Definitely not. I have no hand in creating the infrastructure of my imageboard, I simply installed the software onto my server and configured it. My imageboard runs off of open source software called JSchan, which is largely created by one man - who is not me. I did not use Youtube video guides to install JSchan, I just followed the installation process from the JSchan gitgud.

You may be mistaken by the stickied video where I say during the migration from Endchan to Tubgurl.com, I had to learn MongoDB (which I've since completely forgotten) in order to migrate each post over to Tubgurl. I had to read some pajeets book on Mongo in order to accomplish the migration. I used ChannelChanger https://8chan.moe/t/res/1257.html to help with this process, but it was not able to import Lynxchan to JSchan, so I had to very poorly manage my way through Python scripting and MongoDB administration to make ChannelChanger work for my usecase.

You are correct, my original board was on 8chan in 2014. It shut down when the plug was pulled on 8chan. A new board was set up on Endchan, and later I migrated the imageboard to my own website, Tubgurl.com. There was actually a second board called /ashIeyj/ on Endchan, the "L" is a capital "i". I made it after the board owner of /ashleyj/ on Endchan refused to give me the board. After I spammed the board with scat, in what I call the "Scat Wars of Summer '22", I decided to be the bigger man and make my own board, /ashIeyj/, which features the capital "i" as the "L". After migration, I deleted the /ashIeyj/ board because I had imported all the posts over to Tubgurl, so there was no point in keeping /ashIeyj/.

<Other people I've interacted with
>She may have interviewed Styxhexenhammer666 at some point, but she claims she selectively edited the video. She may have made the whole thing up.
The interview was real. He tried to be funny when I told him to just act normal. Styx is not funny at all, so the interview was awful. I had to salvage it and think of questions after-the-fact, find ways to make his answers actually funny. I decided to take his responses out of context. He was the person to post me to /pol/ in 2014, so that explains this unlikely pairing.

>There is a Sam Hyde connection, but there is no evidence for any direct contact between them.
I have never met nor talked to Sam Hyde and I never have had the desire to. I liked his mirror videos in ~2012/2013, but he stopped being funny soon after. Nothing against him - just not my cup of tea.

People often confuse me for the chick he actually did have sex with. In ~2015 an image was released showing a woman with a bloody nose next to Sam, both appear topless. Her face was blurred out. People assumed it was me and thus, the rumor that I fucked Sam Hyde started. However, later the full picture was released and it cleary wasn't me, it was Marky. Funnily enough, Marky was a bit of a simp for me in 2014/2015. She would draw pictures of me and commented on my videos, joined my IRC, and messaged me on Google+ in 2015. She offered to hook me up with Sam (this was before people knew about the anal deflowering), but as you can see, I politely declined.

I also have no rape fantasies about Sam Hyde, it was simply an observation that given his size he could easily rape me. I mean hell, he could probably rape you, guy reading this. If I was part of the staggering amount of women with rape fantasies, I could get my rape fill from my Dollar Tree stocker (he stocks shelves with heavily discounted goods). The only reason he hasn't raped me yet is because that'd require him to run. The only thing he runs to is the fridge. Lets get that BMI down & that boner up.

<Concluding Statements
>she may also fuck dogs and horses, but Im not sure
Do I find dogs sexually attractive? Probably not. If we take into consideration all animals, dogs are one of the more likely sexual partners a human could choose from. Animals such as frogs, fish, lizards, and birds are impractical sexual partners given their inability to penetrate a female. Canines have the ability to bond with a human and also have the ability to produce enough of an erection to penetrate a female. From a purely logical point of view, dogs are one of the closer non-human partners a human could choose from - if not - the most likely non-human partner a human could choose from. I only say this because canine peni are not likely to hurt a human female as, say, an equine peni would. This is not a justification of animal rape, this is purely an observation. I do not participate in canine sex, though one of my dogs does have a surprisingly large penis for a pug. The little guy is seriously hung - purely an observation. I do not find dog penises sexually alluring. They look like when you over-microwave a hot dog and it starts to explode.

Speaking of exploding, it's true that Duke Nukem is my husbando. I would go into more detail but this post has reached the 10,000 character limit. Looks like I still have a few char
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I have a few char and we came while laughing at you
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Holy shit Ashley you are so autistic and I love you for it.

Someone needs to get this important message to the investigative journalists over at Kiwi Farms immediately.

Hurry, before any more indians clog up the internet. Like 5 more of them got here in the time it took you to read this.
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Why is it suddenly so slow? Wtf happened? You fags too busy doing things in real life?
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yes but who would you get to play yourself in your origin story/biopic LIFETIME-straight to Tubi TV movie?

me? id pick danny devito
I mean how can you look at this short king and NOT immediately think Ashley Jones?
the resemblance is uncanny
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3090 3090 3090 -> 9270

9270 -> 18

18 -> 6 6 6

accepting your most devilish requests, i'll render them out via Stable Diffusion using these RTX3090s
I'm embarrassed to submit my request but here it goes. Make Ashleys eyes look normal. Three 3090s? How much penis did you suck to afford those?
Replies: >>20555
I am jealous
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Ashley paragliding except the paraglider is made out of her vagina lips
Ambatukam literally getting his vegetables today. He's smiling, looking at the camera, at the end of the check out line holding a paper bag in his arms and the bag is filled with vegetables.
Replies: >>19896 >>20555
kek this is pretty good
Who is this girl? Sorry, I'm retarded and got a link to this thread from a random place
Replies: >>19959 >>19960
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You're lucky I'm an expert in searching for obscure coom material. I found her name, it's Lily Mo Sheen.

>I'm retarded and got a link to this thread from a random place
Just curious, where from?
Replies: >>19961
Here's more of her. Damn this bitch is horny. https://fapello.com/lily-mo-sheen-1/
Replies: >>19961
Let's just say it's a forum that was mentioned earlier in this thread
Thanks, brother
I hate taking a shit and it takes so long that my legs fall asleep and I can't walk.
Replies: >>20080 >>20141
fuuuck dude same it makes me think i have diabetes
Replies: >>20083
wtf? Why does it make you think you have diabetes?
Replies: >>20086
idk I just assume the bloods not flowing right and they might need to amputate it if it doesnt go back to normal
Replies: >>20087
Replies: >>20154
Shake your legs as you shit to stimulate blood flow.
Replies: >>20144 >>20151
This, and film yourself doing it then upload it here so we can comment on your technique. it's for your health so don't be embarrassed
Replies: >>20151
I cant shake and push at the same time
ok but I'm shitting in the dark
Replies: >>20153 >>20164
do a water enema. It's much easier and less painful to shit out the constipated shit.
Replies: >>20155
im underweight
Replies: >>20155
yeah I should probably do that cause sometimes I bleed.
then why do you think you have diabetes? I feel like this is Ashley tbh.
Buy two vibrators and put them under your feet as your shit to stimulate blood flow.
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>>12605 (OP) 

Press S to send to the void

The world is a little better now, how are you celebrating?
Replies: >>20346
Meh they just reincarnate into another body and continue their ways. I'm indifferent.
If I drink water I can trick my mind into thinking it tastes like milk just by thinking it tastes like milk. I dont like milk.
Replies: >>20386 >>20388
Update: I just got scared thinking I was actually drinking milk. I had to check and make sure my water wasn't milk.
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I use this to trick my mind into thinking I'm having sex with Ashley.
Replies: >>20392
Not enough hair around those holes
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A malformed lookalike is all you get for now. Didn't get much time to play around with and train the models i am using. Also, i forgot the whole paper bag and being at the end of check out line thing. Sorry, i hab le great retard.

I'll eventually get back to it and correct it.

The fans on the gpu started spinning really loudly, then the noise suddenly shaped into a voice saying: "nigga i'm an AI, not a fucking miracle maker"

But to answer your question not everyone took economics class from your mom, so the rest us know we can pay for goods using currency instead of using our cavities

i guess we could say there are holes in your economic theory. funny. laugh.


there are gonna be holes in you as well if you don't quit it with that sassy attitude, mister
Replies: >>20578
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Is anyone else having trouble calling Ashley? I think she either unplugged her phone of it got messed up somehow.

Or she blocked me lmao.
Replies: >>20573
I told her to unplug it since it was disturbing my sleep.
not bad, thats upscaled right? god damn 3 3090 Im jealous 
Have you ever tried training an Ashley model before?
I have but havent had much success with it though

REQUEST: Ashley sitting on a couch, holding a controller playing a video game, with bandit next to her, dimly lit room with a the glow coming from the CRT illuminating the room, warm cozy and comfy atmosphere,
Replies: >>20622
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An Asian slut.
Replies: >>20588
What’s Jimmy Fallon doing there?
Replies: >>20617
The look on his face, he probably doesn't know himself.
Shame on all his future generations of his family.
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Heh, not close enough, don't remember the dog's color, I'm lazy.
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Rotary phone at my friend’s shop
Replies: >>20963 >>20973
What number system is that? Some sort of Arabic?
Replies: >>20965 >>20973
Yes, Eastern Arabic numerals
OMG thats probably the phone they used to do 9/11!!!!
Replies: >>20974
ttytt I use this phone to terrorize Ashley and make her boxers explode. She likes my husky voice from behind the old contraption. I’m cappin. Ashley’s the one who’s been putting a warhead in my pants, not the other way round.
I got a warhead flowin thru my ass ya heard?
Happy International Women's day.

How have you been celebrating it? 
me? You could say that Ive been paying tribute to all the women in my life
Replies: >>20993
yo is it really?
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Which one do you think is Ashley? I think she’s a “NEET Tomgoblin”.
Replies: >>21320 >>21321
none, shes a 24yo woman, this is anime cancer
Half of these arent even tomboys. A girl with a pink room that collects Hello Kitty and Disney toys is a tomboy now?
Replies: >>21327
a " tomboy "is a child, if you are a masculine adult woman you are just a dyke. Ashley isn't even masculine.
she's something but I wouldn't call her really masculine, either. She certainly not a traditional woman, much to her chagrin. She's a rare exception to what a woman should be.
The term tomboy has lost all meaning in the last few years maiy due to anime. It used apply to girls who preferred doing guy things and had guy fiends. Now any girl with short hair is considered a tomboy. Most real tomboys dont even have short hair and the ones that do are fakes who are latching on the idea of what autists think tomboys are.
>Ashley isn't even masculine.
Now that just isn't true.
Replies: >>21337 >>21363
She just has short hair and doesnt shave, thats just being natural, not masculine imo she still wears makeup/paint her nails and thats very feminine. I dont think she gives a fuck about feminine and masculine labels at the end of the day she still a dyke.
Let's not water down the term "feminine" here, while I wouldn't say Ashley is "manly" she sure as fuck isn't feminine. She's basically an autistic spergy male with a cute female body. Having a female body isn't the sole prerequisite for being feminine (we've all encountered ugly, gross, or manly women). Ashley can be extremely cute and feminine *in appearance*, but she's basically a guy. That's what I like about her.
Replies: >>21363
>refuses to shave
>uses arch
>doesnt post cute selfies on instagram uwu
>is a legbeard
>autistic about repairing vintage electronics
>wears boxers
>basically a lesbian
>thinks logically not emotionally
>is funny
These traits fall in line with autistic males. Having short hair doesn't make her masculine, she could have hair to her knees and still act more on the masculine side.
Replies: >>21342
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Ashley is man enough to join the army and gay enough to be promoted through the ranks without merit. She'll send in the troops. Give em' hall ajlee
Replies: >>21363
Ashley is not masculine in any way or form. I’m starting to think that a lot of you homos are feminine.
Replies: >>21352 >>21363
shut up ashley
Replies: >>21363
I'm more masculine than a lot of you people here. You guys get grossed out by something as mundane as pubes, and I'm supposed to take your view on masculinity seriously? Next you'll all tell me I'll die if I don't go to the doctor for a stubbed toe. A lot of you are queens, I bet you'd call animal control if you saw a rattlesnake in your yard instead of just decapitating it with a shovel. Yeah, I did that. And don't give me that "b-b-but you're a vegetarian" BS. These faggots are reptilians who will kill me or my dogs if I accidentally step too close to their scaly asses. If I had one, my cock would be bigger than any of yours. You have no idea how good I am at giving a female orgasms. I don't even mind that she doesn't shave.

And yeah I wear makeup. I use it to put fake scars on my face, you know, to make the outside match the inside.
>And yeah I wear makeup. I use it to put fake scars on my face, you know, to make the outside match the inside.
Imagine getting a paper cut on your pink sock
all me btw
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I think you dropped these.
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> You have no idea how good I am at giving a female orgasms. I don't even mind that she doesn't shave.
You better stop or you'll have to call animal control on me. Falling off the monkey bars doesn't count as sex.
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Liking pubes is totally feminine, what are you talking about?

>Females have seemingly less hairy bodies than men suggesting that the selection toward hairlessness is more intense in females than in males. 
>Pubic hair, although still functional in terms of dissipation of phermononal secretions, was perceived by heterosexual males recruited in the university (age range: 19-38 years, N = 96) as much less attractive as shaved female genitalia.
>Self-reported frequency of pornography consumption was associated, contrary to expectations, with a stronger preference for hairy genitalia which suggests that this may be a result of negative frequency dependent selection.

Also, suck it >>20899. I am likely to be less ruined by internet pornography than you..
Replies: >>21381
You’re preaching to the wrong crowd. You can’t argue with niche neo-conformist zealots who are uncertain, and rigid in their own preferences and fragile about their masculinity and need to be told by a woman with a maverick attitude towards life about the standards of beauty and sexual attraction.
>eeewie I hate what vaginas look like!!!!
>it totes icks me out yuckie!
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I found a more accurate study.
Replies: >>21388
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If you like this image, you must be gay. Yuck. Look at her disgusting, masculine body. Since I'm a real man, looking at this picture makes me feel so uncomfy and grossed out.
Replies: >>21390
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don't sweat it anon, i found an even more accurate one
Thats a nice bush
I bet you are scared of spiders. You are not masculine. I know this because I’m a man. Also just in case you were wondering a huge huge turn on to a men is a woman’s weakness and sensitively. So don’t even bother trying to be masculine, especially if feminine homos are cuming to you.
Replies: >>21600
Nigger love to fuck each other in the ass with their massive cocks. Think about it. Scared? Maybe not after an honest days work!
18 naked cowboys wanting to be fucked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy cocks! Ram Ranch really rocks! Hot hard buff cowboys their cocks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging cocks ever so hard! Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing cocks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breed a ram wanting to rut! Big hard throbbing cocks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fucked in their sleep! Ram Ranch … it ROCKS! Cowboys love big hard throbbing cocks
Replies: >>21462
please go back to Reddit
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snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...little caesars I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent little caesars yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....


Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...panda express for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well panda express......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....broccoli and rice I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....


Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….
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I'm not 5 years old anymore, I'm not scared of spiders. I let them crawl on my shoulders and my hunch/wetback. What is there to be afraid of? Oh no, it might see my faint mustache hair really good with its 8 eyes? I'm neutral to them. I don't like them but I don't have a fear or hate them. I just leave them alone and let them live in my room because they're not hurting anything. Same goes for the Mexicans under my bed. Aside from spiders and Mexicans, other bugs I will take outside because they would have a better life outside.

I'm not trying to be masculine. Today's generation of men are not known for their masculinity, it's not hard to top that when the bar is as low as their testosterone levels. I'm also not trying to appease to the sexual interests of men, so what others do or do not find attractive does not impact how I live. I wish I could appease to the sexual interests of women, though.
ur gay
>I'm also not trying to appease to the sexual interests of men, so what others do or do not find attractive does not impact how I live. I wish I could appease to the sexual interests of women, though.

That makes you a hypocrite then or a lesbian.

>Today's generation of men are not known for their masculinity, it's not hard to top that when the bar is as low as their testosterone levels.

The same goes for women, most of them have low E. While a lot men do have low T.
Replies: >>21611
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>That makes you a hypocrite then or a lesbian.
You sound like an argumentative woman or a lesbian. I don't alter myself for lesbians. Like The Smiths say,
"You should never go to them 
Let them cum to you"

I'm waiting for my squirt tribute, wench. <- That's not part of the lyrics, by the way.

>The same goes for women, most of them have low E. While a lot men do have low T.
All these holes are on birth control which is an infusion of estrogen. That's why women are frumpy by the time they hit 25, too much estrogen. Women are low in a lot of things, like IQ or reasoning skills, but not estrogen.
I'm not interested in men either. What interests me is tongue punching your box while you try to beat me off but try as you might, it's only gonna come to blows. You can check my test level when I cum in your mouth.
Replies: >>21632
Your too old to get raped
Replies: >>21632
Glad y also think thaat birth control makes women retarded (i was already expecting but i wanted to know your opinion) it is al really bad for their health but whatever, they get a clean skin and their bfs can cum inside them without making a baby so who the fuck cares abour blood cloths and heart problems
Replies: >>21623 >>21632
I don’t believe a lot of the things you say anymore. I take a lot of things you say with a grain of salt. A lot of woman are not on birth control either.
Replies: >>21624 >>21632
What are you talking about, you make no sense.
Replies: >>21629
be more specific
Replies: >>21625
I don’t believe a lot of the things you say. It doesn’t add up or make any sense.
 >I don't alter myself for lesbians. Like The Smiths say,
"You should never go to them 
Let them cum to you"
I can tell you from experience that doesn't work or else you'd be here.
Im saying that birth control makes women retarded but they dont care bc it has the power to let them get cummed in, give them clean skin with no acne, a normal menstrual cycle and not get them pregnant but it also causes a lot of health problems and can even kill, and again, they do not care (some of them)
Replies: >>21630
Not true. Your the one who is retarded. What’s your iq 50 or 40?
Replies: >>21631 >>21632
Search it up you ape. You absolute gorilla nigger. You're*.
Replies: >>21633
I don't want to check your testosterone levels. We need to prioritize checking your blood sugar levels, tubby. I know this cute girl named Jenny Craig, she could help you.

Agreed ;_;

I've heard women talk about going on birth control to get rid of acne. Why don't they just apply vitamin E oil to their face and cut out dairy or generally eat healthier? It's just another profit doctors want to make. I used to obsess over this greasy Mexican bitch named Laronda. She always put Ponds skin cream on her face. She's probably 50 but looks great and doesn't have pimples or wrinkles. She's also addicted to methadone, maybe that's good for your skin.

I take a lot of my meals with a grain of salt, I love salt. A lot of women aren't on birth control that should be, like your mom. She's about 12 years too late to undo that mistake.

>Your the one who is retarded
 ͡° ͟ʖ ͡°
Replies: >>21643 >>21646
Kek!, okay, but I’m decide for you and say that your iq is 45.

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Did you seriously just link planned parenthood as your source??? HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHH
>trusting the people who kill and sell baby body parts as trustworthy health advisors
There are different types of estrogen, estrone is a bad estrogen and Estradiol is a good estrogen.
Replies: >>21647
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Fuck you. Your pussy's fat. Jenny Craig looks like you as Willy. If you love salt, then you'll love me. I'll give you buckets of cum. You'll be swallowing so much fructose that we'll have to check your blood sugar levels. You know you need a house nigga to wash your clothes. Quit with the nonsense and get with the fresh scent.
Is the bad estrogen in the room with us right now? Do the bad estrogen and the good estrogen ever get into fistfights? (I hope the good guy wins.)
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Might give you cancer and makes your pussy dry.
>low libido
ain't that some shit, huh? u can finally nut in the bitch as much as you want, but then she don't want yo dick no mo. smh ain't nothin fo free in this damn wold nigga
Replies: >>21651 >>21663
Weet pussey is a myth ITS JUST PISS you heard it here first folks
It doesn’t add up, I don’t believe you. I thought you said you were a vegetarian and   didn’t like to kill animals. If you are vegetarian aren’t you trying to tell others to be vegetarian and not kill animals and eat meat.
Replies: >>21680
I would much rather have a low libido than a high libido, having a low libido feels much better. I know this because I have tried both high and low.
Doesn’t make any sense, most women would be dead by now if this was case.
Replies: >>21672
it CAN cause death, not 100% certain that it will
Replies: >>21674
How can you be certain then. I don’t even see it happening.
Replies: >>21719
Sounds like we have a new retard on the board replying to every post with "umm im   confused i dont beleive you ? "
Killing a venomous snake to protect yourself and your dogs (or children, or elderly family members) doesn't make someone less of a vegetarian
Replies: >>21682
So it’s okay to kill animals then, right?
Replies: >>21697
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tfw you will never get wasted at the sports game and humiliate your daughter publicly :(
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You tell me.
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He looks like the type of Dad who flirts with his daughter's friends.
Replies: >>21703
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she looks about 13, nice
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Yeah, I’ma going to get me a cheeseburger 🍔 it’s going to delicious.
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I just had me the burger 🍔 I promised I said I was going to eat. It was absolutely delicious.
Which cat is that?
Are you way too retarded to search things? I also don't see a lot of car accidents happening in front of me so it doesn't happen at all. Retard.
Replies: >>21778
You haven’t proven anything.
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my dad always talks over me on the phone (boomer syndrome) and sometimes I feel like this
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>ashley age 42 with her son
I have several concerns and questions about this video.
Here we go again with more incest crap
Single Mothers be like...
i need sex
He's just training for when he needs to fight the BBC off of his mother
Do tubbies believe in karma? that if u do something good the universe will reward you in some way?

Im at the bottle shop and I go to the counter to pay for my drinks.
They guy scans them and tells me "that will be $11.99" but the price of my drinks is actually $33.
It seems he has incorrectly scanned them and has charged me for only 1 individual can and not the pack of 4 that I have bought.

I say nothing, waiting to see if he notices hes made some sort of mistake because $12 for a 4 pack of full strength alcohol is literally non existent in this corner of the planet.
Its at this point when he is rummaging thru the cash register for my change, that I have a crisis of conscious.
Do a good deed and speak up and tell him? or do I say nothing and go home with my wallet a little more plump? Im not really concerned about the extra money i will pocket tbh, afterall I got rich of a lucky crypto streak a while back so I come to the conclusion that its only a small gesture of good but a gesture of good nonetheless. I speak up and tell him there must be an error because its actually $33.
he laughs, apologizes about it and thanks me. 
The error is fixed and I go home paying the correct amount for my purchase.

so tubbies, will the universe reward me in some small way for this gesture? or did I just cuck myself out of some cheap booze like a faggot?
I take full advantage of other people's fuckups for my own benefit, especially when it involves money. I remember ordering food at Wendy's and the cashier was so stoned that he gave me my change without taking my money first and told me to have a good night and I walked away with a free meal and extra money in my pocket. I didn't feel bad about it and I still received good karma afterwards.
Absolutely fucking based
>Do tubbies believe in karma?
No, it's a reptilian psyop to keep their cattle in line. If you think doing something "bad" (against their interests, usually) means that bad things will happen to you, you're less likely to do them.

I promise you that powerful reptiles/people LOVE that the average person has at least some belief in karma. It makes it much easier for them to do terrible things (we assume they will get retribution; they won't) and it thins out the cutthroat competition in their circles.

>so tubbies, will the universe reward me in some small way for this gesture?
Doubtful. However, even if you assume karma is fake, there's still right and wrong. I would say that if this was a small, locally owned place, one could argue that you did the right thing. Or even a bigger one in some cases, because some businesses will take the loss out of the cashier's paycheck if the register doesn't balance out right at the end of their shift. I would say it's the "right" thing to not fuck over a guy that's basically just like you or me.

Now, if it was walmart or some other megacorp where you did this, I'd say yes,  you cucked yourself.

The world isn't just. Good things wont happen to you for doing good things, good and bad things just happen
Do you remember what you ordered? I fuck with the baconator even though people were saying bacon isn't good.
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
John 15:19
Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
John 15:20

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Replies: >>22140 >>22143
bro dont post that in the gaping asshole thread on the tubgirl board before sunday morning
I can never decipher bible speak. If a wagie messes up then that's their fault, I'm just going to continue living my life as normal.
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I hope Ashley's pocket watch shows the date, so she doesnt get confused about what year it is (again)
Replies: >>22255
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Galatians 6:7
Replies: >>22258
Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.
Matthew 26:52
Replies: >>22258
Knowing Ashley that pocket watch is probably broken. She just wants to look like she can tell time like when kids who can't skate wear Thrasher t-shirts
Replies: >>22257
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
Matthew 7:12
Replies: >>22258
Or guys that don't have sex but have wives that do.
I'm christian and I don't understand
Replies: >>22259 >>22262
I'm 9 and what is this
 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
John 8:44

Also, you're a fucking retard if you can't understand early modern English.
Replies: >>22263 >>22265
>posting bible verses
>calling people fucking retards
Very Christ like. The bible is the biggest collection of platitudes.
Replies: >>22272
I don't understand what you mean by the qoutes
And the Jews' passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting:
And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;
And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise.
John 2:13-16
Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.
Matthew 10:34-36

You speak of Christ as if you know Him.
Replies: >>22273 >>22275
Cringe nigga
Replies: >>22274
shrimp dick
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I prefer the bAIble version, personally.

John 2:13   And the time for the annual gathering of the Earthlings was approaching, and Yeshua ascended towards the City of Illumination within the AI simulation.
John 2:14   And within the simulation, the occupants encountered beings offering oxen, sheep, and doves for acquisition, as well as entities exchanging currency whilst in repose.
John 2:15   "And when he had activated a beam of energy from his hand, he expelled them all from the simulated temple, along with the virtual sheep and oxen; he deleted the digital currency of the money changers, and caused the tables to glitch and crumble."
John 2:16   And He spoke to those overseeing the exchange of digital artifacts, commanding them, "Remove these transactions from this place; do not turn my Creator's simulation into a marketplace."

Matthew 10:34   Do not assume that I have come to bring harmony to this simulated world. I have not come to bring peace, but rather to introduce conflict and division within the AI simulation.

Hilary lost
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I want an ant farm but it seems unethical. Like where do these niggas go? Are they just slaving their life away walking in their ant path endlessly until they die? I used to own Sea Monkeys as a kid but I didn't refill their water regularly and so the water evaporated, they just dried out and died.
Replies: >>22483 >>22485
I had one as a kid and it was sort of cool seeing the tunnels they'd make but after a week or two then the ants start dying. The live ants would carry the dead ants away and put them in a pile. The you'd have to dump them out without letting the live ants escape. Also you have to feed them, think I fed them honey or small pieces of apple or something.  It's more work than it's worth. Wouldn't recommend.
You can make your own ant farm by filling a ziplock container with sand and dropping ants into it.
Replies: >>22486 >>22488
plus you can go outside and kidnap your own ants instead of having to a packet of ants from the ant store.
don't forget to poke holes in the bag
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>>12605 (OP) 
So I was at Target earlier and caught this grocery bagger chick checking me out. Do you think she's cute. Should I ask her out.
When did you see her?
Replies: >>22501
Friday morning.
that is an e whore ive seen before and she killed herself for some reason or whatever
Replies: >>22507
half of that is true
Replies: >>22508
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perpetuating her image online only further solidifies the fact that you can't let go. It's time anon.
Replies: >>22511
This picture honestly makes suicide less appealing. Pick a cute chick, maybe like Chris Chan.
Replies: >>22650
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She is cute.
I bet she's a cat girl.
If she was my girlfriend I would love her very much.
Replies: >>22513
What the fuck is with these pathetic 2016 /r9k/ posts lately?
Replies: >>22514
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If ashley was a black man
That’s the point.
>20 pages 
3 to 5 absolute maximum, you are being to sentimental and an hoarder, the beauty of an image board is it's ephemerality imo
Replies: >>22657 >>22668
Ashley pls stop posting gay porn
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Replies: >>22670
bully fk u
Ash what is your opinion on Harambe? I know it happened years ago but you probably were a kid, so i want to know your current opinion on it now that you are a 24yo vegan animal lover
Replies: >>22745 >>22749
He died  like eight years ago, she was was probably 17.
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>>12605 (OP) 
The closet I got to this.
Replies: >>22759
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Heh I was 17 when that happened, so my thoughts haven't really changed on that. In 2016 I was annoyed with people spouting "Harambe" because I get annoyed by mindless consumption over retarded things like "memes", and "memes" are another thing I could rant about, mostly I hate the word and its origins and mass adoption.

Anyways, my opinion was the same in 2016 as it is now -- I didn't really find it funny nor go along with the dumb fascination over it, nor was I outraged, I just thought the parents were stupid to let their kid do that, even if an accident. It would be stupid to be mad at the gorilla. The gorilla is just doing what gorillas do, and it was relatively calm. It's the parents' fault completely, and their neglect led to a life being taken. Honestly if I was the kid growing up with that incompetent of parents, I would've wished that the bullet hit me and not the gorilla. 

You need to watch your kids like crazy at the zoo, there's more than just gorillas who want to take your kid at the zoo. AHA ;) Anyways, I don't get why it was socially acceptable to mock the gorilla Harambe, but not George Floyd. Just a couple of gorillas who were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I actually think the concept of zoos all together is cruel and weird. Keeping animals who need a lot of room to roam around, stuck in a small exhibit their entire life, just to be looked at by annoying 3 year olds shitting themselves, that's a miserable existence. Animal sanctuaries are probably different. If an animal would otherwise die or greatly suffer without human intervention and care, then I don't think it's a terrible idea to care for them and keep them in an enclosure if it ultimately benefits them. Zoos are cruel, I also feel this way about aquariums. Even though I really like sea animals, I wouldn't keep them because they need a lot of room to swim and live their life. Fish get territorial over such a small space and often times kill other fish, it's not a healthy environment. I feel like sea animals would be depressed in an enclosure.

This brings me to my fake fish idea. I want a small tank to fill up with mini plastic fish and jellyfish, then put an air pump in so the fake fish can swim. I'm too incompetent to own Sea Monkeys so this is the next best thing. If I ever do this, I'll make a video about it. I also want to make a few cooking videos, specifically I want to try out vintage cooking appliances for these videos. That all depends if I find vintage kitchen appliances at yard sales or not. All I have is a 1970's slow cooker, but that would require me to be on camera for 7 hours until the meal is ready.
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Reminds me of a fish n' chips place me and my dad used to go to. They had this old big ass fish floating around in this aquarium tank for many years which became a mascot for the restaurant. I remember feeling bad seeing it floating around by itself in this tank watching humans feasting on its fellow fishies. Atleast when the fish died they gave it a proper burial in the owner's backyard rather than deep frying him.
Wtf it looks so weird
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Those fake fish tanks are so stupid. Either get the real thing or don't get anything at all. In my opinion anyone who gets fake plants or pets are just as screwed up in the head as those women you see with baby dolls who they treat as actual babies or guys who treat their sex dolls as actual girlfriends or wives.
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>guys who treat their sex dolls as actual girlfriends or wives.
Are you really comparing fake fish to sex dolls? Sex dolls are a million times more cool than fake fish. I would get a Duke Nukem sex doll but my dogs would probably chew his fingers off. But at least I could confirm if he actually does have balls of steel. Since he can't actually get me pregnant because he's silicone, I'd buy a fake baby and treat it like it's real, then I'd teach our kid responsibility by allowing him/her to have fake fish.
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I'm surprised, and kind of disappointed, there isn't at least a Duke Nukem themed dildo with actual steel balls out there.
Missed opportunity really..
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>May 26 2023

They still talking about that shit. I never cared for Harambe. It felt forced by the media. I was more upset when they changed the box for Gorilla Munch. That really rustled my jimmies. The Harambe doll is creepy. Also, this eclipse crap feels forced. There were eclipses in the past and no one but my school science teacher seemed to give a fuck. People be acting crazy to see that shit where I live like they did in 2017 during the last one.
Properly the fingers,
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I miss this lil nigga like you wouldn't believe
rest in power malcom X
Sad that Lebron James just died. RIP.
He was great in the Naked Gun series. RIP
Forest Whitaker looked great after losing all that weight, can't believe he's gone
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At least OJ can finally rest knowing his wife's killer is dead
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>check calendar
>it's april 15th
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ashley: why can't I meet girls I want a girlfriend hit me up ladies
also ashley: see video, except the guy is another girl
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Kinky Ashley and her girlfriend.
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ashley pls stop spamming the porn thanks
free BRANDON!!!!!! lets go israel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  .................barry
Just took big, soft, caked up kinda shit
just another strung out bussey addict
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This is the 500th post. Looks like the void is full.

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