/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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New Ashley video will be premiering LIVE today around 4:50pm EST, right before Endchan's monthly movie. There will be a live chat. Come join us: https://cytu.be/r/endcorner

Update: Stream is over. Watch the new video here: https://videos.icum.to/w/qxiVTowoo1YsZ8Y2KhjLem

Thank you to Endchan and for everyone who came. Now post your drawings, boys.
>>2488
what exactly are you drawing there?
Replies: >>2493 >>2494 >>2496
>>2491
Looks like a dad and his son play fighting. My dad and I did that all the time. He would knock me out and I'd wake up with a sore butthole.
>>2491
My autistic schizophrenia is telling me she’s making fun of something I said in an email but who knows.
Replies: >>2495 >>2497
>>2494
Did you tell her you got diddled as a boy?
>>2491
My autistic schizophrenia is telling me she’s making fun of something I said
Replies: >>2497
>>2494
>>2496
This was filmed in the summer, along with every video except the Halloween one, so you may want to further investigate the potential autism/schizophrenia.
Replies: >>2499 >>2500 >>2501
>>2497

Holy cow, give this lady a netflix deal because she's a producer.
>>2497
is it true you made like 10 videos or something before coming back? what are you doing now? jacking off with your horse dildo?
>>2497
>potential
Nah I play Minecraft and Victoria3. It’s confirmed
Replies: >>2502
>>2501
huh? the video doesn't have anything to do with those things
Replies: >>2503
>>2502
No what I’m saying is I’m not going to pay a bunch of money for a shrink to tell me I have autism when I already have a minecraft account
Replies: >>2504 >>2508
>>2503
Ooooooh. that's a good call. shrinks are a scam
The only shrink I've ever had said I was just eccentric and actually wanted to talk to my mom but we never went back.
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>>2503
Replies: >>2509 >>2510
>>2508
Uh oh, he found the tranny puzzle piece.
>>2508
I’m guessing you’re more of the paint chip eating variety of the spectrum
Replies: >>2511 >>2530
>>2510
Personally, I'm of the "shit your pants because you're too lazy to go to the bathroom" type of autism.
Real Ashley shit: cut an onion in half and put each half in your sock and go to sleep. If you wake up and the onion has dark coloration then you’re a real ashling
Replies: >>2514
>>2512
Real Ashley shit: shave a ginger root and put it in your anus and go fuck yourself. If the ginger burns your asshole but feels good then you're a real faggot.
Smart Phones, Covid 19, Ashley

https://voca.ro/13PZAYTMswZW
Replies: >>2517 >>2525 >>2535
>>2516
I still want to respond to your old posts. I've just been too busy to type up an autistic text wall. I can't believe you haven't gotten any other responses. We need to revive that thread. I have two ghost stories. One is very similar to yours. I actually know who died there though. They were murdered in a mass shooting by a disgruntled employee. True story. Link below. No one uses their office anymore because it's fucking haunted. I mean really fucking haunted. Shit gets thrown around and people get assaulted. It's common fucking knowledge there too and people just act like it doesn't exist. They only use that office to store crates now because they are big and heavy and can't be easily tossed around but you can still hear strange sounds coming from there. I completely avoided that side of the building while on patrol because something hit the door from the other side when I walked by once and I was there alone and the door was locked. Only one way in and one way out. I also actually saw a ghost and it was terrifying once I realized who and what it was. I know it wasn't a hallucination because it remained in the room with me for a few minutes. I was not in my bedroom asleep. I had just walked out of the fucking bathroom after taking a shower one morning. Ghosts look exactly like how they look in popular culture. They look like how the person looked when they died. I believe this because the outfit this spectre was wearing was the outfit the person was buried in and I didn't even attend the funeral to see that. I was shown that afterward in a photograph from an album by a family member.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hastings_Arthur_Wise

>Wichita
Don't doxx me, bro.
Replies: >>2518 >>2519
>>2517
ohhh, busted..i knew i was playing lose and fast with that Wichita comment. Hey, if you got some ghost tells, make a vocaroo and tell it..no one is going know who you are, well, unless they do..but really who cares
>>2517
i have a story that happened at the HS i attended. I will tell it in my next vocaroo. Im thinking i will try to make 1 or 2 a week and post it on the latest video thread. Im really not trying to steel Ashleys thunder, those who are just wanting to talk about Ashley should do just that, especially if they are trying to get the word out about her being back. I honestly just enjoy making them and its nice to have a place to talk paranormal shop.
Replies: >>2531
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>>2488
Wearing a beret like a true artist
Did you manage to draw each one in one take or did you mess any up and had to redo it?
Will there be more arts and crafts With Chester videos in the future?
that music you used is catchy and stuck in my head
>>2516
Confirmed. He survived the alien abduction and lives. Rejoice, brothers.
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Some great tips from Chester there. Glad to see we have a new drawguy.
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>>2488
>An envelope arrives at Chester's studio.
Replies: >>2528 >>2529
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>>2527
>>2527
Mayd me smile. Thank you
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>>2510
If seen do not approach, call authorities.
>>2519
I like the one where you drank the cowboy cum out of the used condoms you found on the floor and the garbage can in the bathroom at the gay bar after your mom made you get a vasectomy or she was going to kick you out of the trailer park. Good stuff. I'll have to go back and respond to that to give you more attention. Did you hear the spooky story about that stealth camper guy in Canada that vaxxed his wife to death for the insurance money so he could go camping with his neighbor? Creepy. Oh yeah Ashley's video bla bla bla there now this is related.
Replies: >>2534
>>2488
good vid ash! that chester fellow is some artist eh
Replies: >>2533
>>2532
i drawded wat shester drawded and i show my mom but my mom get madder at me and took my pikdur away
>>2531
Oh yeah I know that camper guy. One night I was taking a break at a rest stop and that dude came up to me. I didn't recognize him because I don't really watch camping videos, I'm too busy camping myself. Anyways, the dude starts banging on all my car windows saying "help me I'm getting attacked by a bear." Naturally I open up my door and let him in. The guy bends me over and now I'm the one being attacked by a bear. He's already rock solid, and starts banging me in my o-ring. He tried to vaccinate me to handle the evidence, but I haven't had a heart attack yet. Crazy guy, comfy videos though.
>>2516
Wow, thanks for sharing your story. I've killed a drifter before too. It was summer 1979 and he was a good-looking young guy from Des Moines, Iowa. 19, maybe 20 years old. Had the most beautiful blonde hair you've ever seen. He was trying to hitch a ride to his girlfriend's college or something. Obviously, he would never arrive. After we drove for a few hours and I could tell he was feeling comfortable, I told him I had to stop to take a piss on the side of the road. I exited my truck and just waited for him in the darkness. Being a good kid he came out to check on me after a while, and that's when I caved his skull in. Really great knowing I'm not the only one. Can't wait to hear from you again!
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When I was just a kid my mom told me, "Son, always be a good boy don't ever play with guns" but I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Replies: >>2549
>>2548
When I was a young boy, my father took me to the city to watch a marching band. He said "Son, when you grow up, would you be The savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned?" Personally I thought that was really weird.
Replies: >>2563
This website givwes me a headmark
Replies: >>2551
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>>2550

"And he causes all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free men and the slaves, to be given a mark on their right hand or on their forehead, and he provides that no one will be able to buy or to sell, except the one who has the mark, either the name of the beast or the number of his name."
Replies: >>2598
>>2549
This should be a bannable offense because MCR is that fucking gay.
Replies: >>2721
i feel like this thread stopped getting replies because >>2551 is a gross picture and people would rather not look at it
Replies: >>2600
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>>2598
Sorry that the anti-Christ's head is so unpleasant to look at. If you think that image's unpleasant, wait until you see the FEMA death camps we're herded into.
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>>2599
Fresh OC
Replies: >>2707 >>2710 >>2717
>>2623
underrated
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>>2623
Replies: >>2720
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>>2623
Replies: >>2720
>>2710
>>2717
Well hold on a minute because this is so key
>>2563
MCR's "The Black Parade" was one of the best albums of the 2010s and your just in denial if u think otherwise.
Replies: >>2722 >>2726
>>2721
I will fucking fight you cunt
I AM NOT IN DENIAL!!!
Replies: >>2724
>>2722
Yes you are.
The operatic drama that unfolds within it has allowed the album to age bery well. While many albums from the early to mid 2010’s don’t have the original shine and appeal that they used to, The Black Parade still resonates with listeners to this day.
The connection between emotion and the use of accessible instrumentation allowed this album to withstand not only the test of time,but the variety between each song constantly keeps listeners consistently engaged.
Another enticing aspect of the album is its story. Concept albums were not a common occurrence at the time of release.
The album is enveloped by themes surrounding mortality, legacy, and purpose in life that shine through.
These themes add depth to an otherwise redundant concept in emo-alternative-rock. Right from the first few seconds of the album, the sound from a heart monitor gives the listener an idea of where they are: a hospital. The story begins with the death of a cancer patient, and the album unfolds as he looks back on his life. He recalls inglorious acts and life choices that led to a loss of love and family, and ultimately to his general loneliness. However, the album’s main themes of survival and hope make this album instantly accessible to any angsty young adult who feels alone in the world. This album understands their problems and provides the encouragement to keep on living.
Then The album opens in the most tongue-in-cheek way imaginable: a song entitled “The End.” If the words “The End” don’t immediately let you know that they weren’t messing around, then the punctuation definitely does.
One of the greatest strengths of the album is how every song on the album can stand alone and still be as significant without the original context of the album. If you’re not listening for a story, you might not hear it at first and just take the songs as individual pieces. However, if you’re aware of one or if you’re looking for a story, all of the pieces start to fit together
The main idea that comes off of The Black Parade isn’t so much the “I'm ready to die” and obsession with death that is usually associated with it. While death is the main subject matter of the story and most of the songs, the message that truly resonates with listeners, is the drive to survive. The idea of a well-lived life is something the protagonist wishes for, and the finals line of the album “I am not afraid to keep on living” encourage listeners and provide them with the hope they needed.
Finally, the album is still relatable and engaging as ever.
While listeners might have grown up and moved on to other music, this album still holds themes of purpose and making the most of life that anybody could hold onto. For these reasons and more, The Black Parade truly is one of the greatest album ever of the 2010's.
Replies: >>2725 >>2726
>>2724
Sorry mate that was a random shitpost and a joke that obviously went right over your head.
You wrote a lot of words though good onya
>>2721
Only retarded women like MCR. This is probably a woman by typing "u" instead of "you". Show pussy.

>>2724
Sounds like a 12 year old writing a school essay about their favorite album. Reviewing music is retarded. Does it sound good or not? There you go, that's all that matters. MCR sounds like if a prolapsed anus could sing.

If I am somehow right and this is a 12 year old writing about their favorite album, do NOT show pussy. Only 18+ pussy is allowed.
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Finished watching the netflix series about Jeffery Dahmer (it was decent, Great acting and production values, but it dragged a little towards the end)
Anyways, took a shot at making the poster for it, but featuring Chester.

Pic is small because its sourced from one the board banners
Replies: >>2876 >>2880 >>2983
if you have thought out opinions on which bands/genres suck you probably cant play any instruments and are one of those gay fags who strictly listen to certain genres. Im sure a 13 year old will be highly impressed with your taste in music.
Replies: >>2866
>>2865
You don't have to be a chef to know when something tastes bad. If MCR was a food, it would be shit. Is shit food? I guess to some people it is, but I will restrain from posting scat to prove that people eat shit. Trust me, they do.
>>2863
Hahaha that is great
I might download it and check it out.
>>2863
Imagine is Ashley had her own movie. Truly bizarre
I wonder if we write a script for an ashley video and story board it if she would do it.

Anyone here take creative writing?
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Saw this on the news tonight. Is that Chester?
Replies: >>2896
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>>2882
>Chester only does free baby sitting in the Massachusetts area
>Sheriff badge is from Massachusetts

I think Chester is officially a wanted man
Replies: >>2906
>>2896
that's actually amazing attention to detail
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>>2863
Showing my new friend Ashley Jones videos. I'm doing my part.
Are you?
Replies: >>2984
>>2983
Hey I know that guy
>>2488
After watching this again I think it might be her best video. Even though it's short and simple it's kind of perfect. The joke isn't overdone that way. The 2-Dness of the character works really well for the short length format also. Easily though, the best part is the intro/outro editing to give it that public access television vibe. Could picture this in between shows on Adult Swim (back when Adult Swim was cool)
Replies: >>2998 >>3001
>>2986
isn't it funny how Taz used to be an offensive stereotype and now he's sort of.... quaint I guess? we had no idea how bad it was going to get. who would have thought one day we'd be yearning for a regular gay man
Replies: >>2999 >>3001 >>3009
>>2998
>who would have thought one day we'd be yearning for a regular gay man
I immediately realized that what I said here sounded really gay and I promise I didn't mean it that way. you guys know what I mean right
Replies: >>3001
>>2986
Agreed.
The intro/outro is really well done especially.

>>2998
>>2999
>you guys know what I mean right
honestly, not really.
You mean like he isnt as insane as someone like Chester? is that it? (apart from the running over people and blood drinking of course.)
Replies: >>3004
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>>3001
I mean like we've reached such a stage of degeneracy that a "Regular" gay guy like taz is preferable to something like pic. or how girls chopping off their tits and pretending to be men etc
Replies: >>3015
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>>2998

that's the saddest and most accurate statement ever. poor taz.
>>3004
I swear all of that shit is some kind of psyop from the chinese end. Its not hard to find twitter and discord comunities dedicated to grooming young children into doing this nightmare fuel shit. its probably all chinese dudes in a warehouse running these groups too. CCP owns discord and tiktok soo.
Replies: >>3294
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Ashley, whatever you heard about me yesterday. It's not true, not a single word. I can't lie to you so I might as well tell you the truth. I only went to that gay club to meet a guy. I was gonna pay him to show me his big gun in the men's room. I thought guns were easy to come by where you live because of Columbine but that doesn't seem to be the case now. I need a big gun to go down on your happy trail. I don't want to get eaten alive by a cougar. I've already had a few proposition me at Le Peep. I was so afraid to go into that club because it was full of bears. The guy I met at the bar, Shorty, asked me was I ready to see his big gun. I told him I heard it's really impressive. There were so many fags there and I could easily have mistaken this guy for any one of them. I didn't want to get lost in the crowd so we used the buddy system. He took me by the hand and escorted me to the men's room. He pulled out his big gun from his trousers and it was nice. He let me hold it and it was kind of heavy. He asked me was it my first time and I told him it was. I started playing with it in the mirror and blew the tip. It was kind of bent off to one side but I could work with that. Then the guy gave me a fingerbang and we horsed around for a bit. He lit a cigarette and I gave him $20. That's when it all went ham. In walks this twink and they start pissing over the sink. It may have been my face blindness acting up but I swear it was you. I said, "Ashley?" And they replied, "Ashley?? No way, sweetie. It's me, Taz! ...Jesus Christ, is that your big gun?!" Then Taz started jerking my big gun. I tried to put it in my pants but was overcome with homophobia. My only weakness. Then the gun starts going off and Taz yells Jesus Christ! and tosses it out the restroom door onto the dance floor. Taz looked so much like you that I overcame my homophobia when my urge to protect you kicked in and I dived right between Taz's legs. We hit the floor. Next thing you know. Shorty got low. All I heard was gunfire and screaming. I'm sorry Ashley but I think I lost my v-card in the men's room of Club Q. In the chaos, Taz thought they were sucking on their thumb but it wasn't their thumb. I'm getting tested later this week. I want to be positive for you and not for HIV. I'm your crack baby, not your AIDS baby. When the gunfire stopped, all I could hear was Blood on the Dance Floor. That's when Shorty ran out of the restroom. I peered out from the restroom door and there was blood on the dance floor. Taz made a finger gun and slapped my ass saying they'll cover my rear. We walked out trying not to step in the AIDS blood and there was Shorty rubbing his big gun next to some dead trannies. He said our prints were all over this thing. Everyone had shot themselves because they had never been educated on gun safety. The trannies had taken the opportunity suicide. Guns really do kill people. When the police came in the back door, they arrested that guy because he was holding the gun. Taz was given a police cap and hoisted onto the shoulders of some bears and paraded around as a hero for stopping the shooter. I lost $20. Now I wish I had bought you a pizza gift card instead. I hope no one else here will make the same mistake I made. It's not easy being LB.
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>with his family
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>>3015
As far as I know, Tencent has a minority share in Discord. The Chinese have a minority share in a lot of American companies. I'm not sure if Tencent is a willing puppet of the CCP but I do know the CCP does have some influence over them. It would be expected that their gov't would want to influence users on their network. Our gov't does that too. The majority of Chinese actually support their gov't so it wouldn't be farfetched that they would work with them when asked. There might be consequences if they don't. Last I heard, Tencent is on thin ice with the CCP. Due to recent gov't regulations, they lost a lot of stock value and the company is on life support. I don't know what's the hubbub with TikTok. I don't use it. It seems pointless. I know it's owned by a Chinese company. I know Trump started a pissing contest with them and it's a big deal in Washington right now. Just seems like an old fashioned Yellow Peril to me, which is as American as apple pie. I've been hearing the Chinese were going to take over the world for the past three decades. They can't even take their island back.
Replies: >>3296
>>3294
>I've been hearing the Chinese were going to take over the world for the past three decades. They can't even take their island back.
underrated opinion. "muh china is coming" and "ccp le evil" is such a boomer take. the same evil that controls china exists here. china is the staging ground for their global plans (social credit etc). if you want to know what's coming to the west, take a look at china.
however, this isn't an endorsement of their aptitude for social domination. take for example the "great firewall" of china. the project wasn't even fully realized until like 2006. to this day it is easily circumvented (well, easily if you know what you're doing). point is, the dinosaurs in charge didn't even say, "hmm, this internet thing could be a problem for keeping the masses under control" until the mid 2000s. morons. here in the west, in modern times, we've taken a different tact: cancel culture. don't like what someone is saying? no laws necessary - just get their hosting providers to shut them down, cut off their access to financial services, etc. which method of censorship is more effective is yet to be seen, but I suspect its the latter, actually.
Replies: >>3298
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>>3296
This is the global elitist and founder of the World Economic Forum that I would be concerned about. Klaus Schwab declared on Chinese State TV that China is a model for many nations.
Replies: >>3598 >>14151
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>>3298
Yeah, this guy is a real jerk. He wants to merge outworld with ours. He's no match for Rex Kwon Do, though. Just break the wrist, walk away.
>>3298
Antichrist
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