/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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>>21540 (OP) 
not funny and sounds nothing like her. Top tier cringe, good job
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>0:27
>"twenty twenty four"
One of my pet peeves is how people switched from saying "two thousand" to "twenty twenty". It sounds unnatural and is a weird way to say a year. I almost always pronounce it "two thousand" because I'm strongly opposed to "twenty twenty". I and others always said "two thousand" and only in 2010 did some people start saying "twenty ten" rather than "two thousand and ten". Now it's just the norm through repetition that almost everybody says "twenty twenty". We don't pronounce thousands in this manner typically, so (rhetorical question) why does everyone say "twenty twenty"? If I have 2,041 cats I don't say I have "twenty forty one" cats. That's retarded. You'd say "I have two thousand and forty one cats".

With this in mind, I do say 1990 as "nineteen ninety" rather than "one thousand nine hundred and ninety", probably because I've never heard anybody say "one thousand nine hundred and ninety". It's more of a mouthful since it has more syllables. But "two thousand" is much easier to say than "nineteen thousand nine hundred and ninety".

Also, voting is for the sheep. You can't fix a broken system with the system. No elected selected reptilian is looking out for you or me. This applies to both republicans and democrats. But reptilian politics are predictable boring and not worthy to talk about.
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>>21544
It's easier to say since there are less syllables. I do remember hearing most people say "two thousand and..." up until 2020. I think the movie "2012" is what made people start saying "twenty twelve" since that's how it was advertised back in 2009. Afterwards, I noticed most people referring to the first two digits of the year as "twenty" instead of "two thousand".
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>>21544
>>21540 (OP) 
Fox News warned us this would happen, people. They sad those sneaky Chinese and the Democrats or should I say DEMONcrats would use AI and TikTok to try and trick us this election season and now it looks like it's happening. Well, I'm not falling for it. I'm smart. I'm voting for Trump. He and the republicans would never do anything like this because they're good and bot evil like those Dumb o crats. I better warn everyone on Facebook.
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>>21552
Make a joke about it while people die from a fentanyl epidemic and mass immigration is turning America into shithole. Do you even leave your house? Has the sun shone on you in the past 7 days?
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>>21544
Twenty sounds better faggot
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>>21553
You sound just like my boomer dad who listens to conservative talk all day. He randomly starts spurting about illegals and fentanyl out of nowhere like he can't help it.

>Do you even leave your house?
NTA but yes I do, so I'll tell you the reality.

>fentanyl epidemic
>white people
Oh no not the poor white people! Maybe they shouldn't fucking use opiates in the first place like a fucking retard. By the way, the homeless I see (which you never hear conservatives talk about but there's a shit ton of them now) are the ones strung out and dying on the streets.

>mass immigration
This has been a talking point for the past 25 or 30 years and yet I've never had it impact my life. In day to day average life, illegals are not a problem for 99% of people inb4 you rapidly look up news articles to link. The "illegal aliens" are Mexican families who integrate with society. The children and dad speak English, mom probably doesn't because she's at home taking care of the family.

You know why there's a lot of illegals? Because trying to get approved for citizenship from the government takes years to get any movement on your case, tens of thousands of dollars, and you might get disproved for the littlest of things, so uh oh, better spend more money trying again and wait 12 more years to see an update in your case. Trying to become a legal citizen is really difficult because the government is incompetent. You know what it's like to go to the DMV? Try that experience times a hundred.
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>>21552
The republicans are also evil and corrupt. Trump has criticized the republican politicians a lot. Trump runs as a republican to get more votes but he is not a politician. Those republican politicians criticize china a lot, why don’t they criticize the ccp instead of china as whole, because they are evil and corrupt and criticizing the Chinese government would make them hypocrites, the Chinese government also hates China. Trump wants everyone to get along even if they disagree, he doesn’t want any war with other countries he wants to resolve matters peacefully. The politicians are the one’s who want war with China and Russia. Governments don’t accurately represent their countries and the people, governments can be evil and mistreat the people in their countries and sometimes people regret voting for them. I know a lot of people who regret voting or going for Biden.

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/mcYcLtU4ezU
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>>21540 (OP) 
OP here. This may shock you but I made this using a free text to speech AI program where you can sample voices from videos and make them say whatever you want. It's a relatively lengthy process but the results are usually worth it. This wasn't one of my best. Anyways,, if interested I'll be taking requests. Just say who you want to hear and type what you want them to say and I'll try and work my magic. The voices can be literally anyone, not just Ashley. Also, try and make them clever or funny and longer than something like "fuck me in the ass" or "I hate queers"
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>>21555
>you sound sound like my boomer dad
This is the current issue affecting the country. It has to be talked about. Take your ignorant head out of your ass.
>By the way, the homeless I see (which you never hear conservatives talk about but there's a shit ton of them now) are the ones strung out and dying on the streets.

The government is already spending an annual $1.19 trillion on welfare programs. What are you personally doing or are willing to do for the poor, St. Francis? Are you willing to pay more taxes or even do charity work?

>This has been a talking point for the past 25 or 30 years and yet I've never had it impact my life. In day to day average life, illegals are not a problem for 99% of people inb4 you rapidly look up news articles to link. The "illegal aliens" are Mexican families who integrate with society. The children and dad speak English, mom probably doesn't because she's at home taking care of the family.

You don’t live at a sanctuary city or border state or large metropolitan like NYC and LA. You live in a small town that is not directly affected of mass undocumented immigration and don’t care about national concerns since you feel safe and comfortable in your little bubble. They’re not all Mexicans, BTW who don’t pose much issue. They’re Venezuelans and Guatemalans, Haitians and other violent and uncivilized illegals like the guy who recently killed Laken Riley. Undocumented immigration is what has turned NYC into a cesspool. Do you even know what’s going on in NYC rn? Immigrants are staying in hotels and living off the government. Do you want to pay for their expenses? Do you even pay taxes?
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>>21560
You are wrong for the most part. The vast majority of immigrants are coming to United States legally. Don’t believe everything you hear in the news including FOX. News networks like to fear monger. Illegal immigrants can be fugitives in their own countries which is why they come illegally, they don’t want to be caught so they refuse to show documents because they can be denied entry sent back and punished in their country. 

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/11/16/what-we-know-about-unauthorized-immigrants-living-in-the-us/
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>>21562
why do you think they're fugitives in their own country, retard?
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>>21562
>>21563
Because they came to the United States illegally. There for they might be fugitives. There’s people who immigrate illegally to the US because they are wanted back in their home country for a crime they committed.
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>>21560
>This is the current issue affecting the country.
No it's not. It's a manufactured distraction being used through CIA mocking bird talking heads like Mr. Constipated AKA Tucker Carlson. The current issue affecting the country is gas and grocery prices, but grocery prices are a lot less sensational than identity politics.

>The government is already spending an annual $1.19 trillion on welfare programs. What are you personally doing or are willing to do for the poor, St. Francis? Are you willing to pay more taxes or even do charity work?
I actually do help the poor very frequently in terms of donating goods (food and clothing) and volunteering my time, which is why I hate the cognitive dissonance with the opiate issue. Conservative boomer talking heads despise low income and homeless people because boomers lack compassion and a soul. Meanwhile, they latch onto the opiate issue when it's their turn to be the victim (Rush Limbaugh almost went deaf from his opiates). Privileged boomers (the people you're listening to) grew up in an ideal world, had the perfect childhood, everything given to them because their parents grew up in a shit condition. Their parents were trying to give them the ideal life. The boomers got the perfect life, but instead of being grateful and passing it onto their children, they wrecked the economy for everyone else, became degenerate weed smokers and abusive alcoholics, and held their generational wealth all to themselves because millennials are "lazy" and don't deserve it, it's better to spend that generational wealth on a new John Deer tractor, a yacht, or a RV home. The boomers are one of the most abusive generations to exist and set their children and grandchildren up for failure, and then have the audacity to bitch about the homeless (victims of abuse and the terrible economy, both thanks to boomers) on the radio to retards like yourself.

By the way, the homeless on the streets are not the ones using welfare programs. Typically that's for people who have a home who are low income. I don't know where you get the idea that someone laying in the street barely conscious from drugs is able to: have a government ID to open up a bank account, have proof of a home address, pay for a cell phone and cell service to open the bank account, and then also have all the aforementioned mentioned as well as have money for means of travel to search and apply for jobs to provide proof of job search to even be applicable for welfare.

>You don’t live at a sanctuary city or border state or large metropolitan like NYC and LA.
Strange you assume to know where I live. You named the two most populated areas in the United States, no shit there's crime there. There's also a plethora of legal documented white people committing rapes, murders, and robberies in NYC and LA. You're going to get all walks of life in the most populated cities committing crimes. I can link or post pictures of headlines proving this, since apparently your reality is fear mongering news stories rather than actually going outside to see for yourself what life in the US is like. It's not to say every illegal immigrant is an angel, but most of them are families trying to scrape along like the rest of us.

>don’t care about national concerns since you feel safe and comfortable in your little bubble.
>national concerns
Yeah no I don't care about the "nation" because when you talk about the nation it's in terms of the CIA talking heads ushering in for more government control in the way they see fit for "the nation". Just like how homeland security was brought in for the safety of "the nation". I do however care for my fellow man and the people around me, so I do what I can to help. I don't always feel safe in my area. Did you miss the part where I said there's a large amount of homeless people where I live? They're on drugs and can be aggressive. The homeless are more of a problem than illegals, who in my experience are just like anyone else. The US isn't these major metro areas, the majority of the US is not those areas in terms of both population and geography. Have you ever taken a road trip or flown in a plane over the US? You'll notice it's almost all completely rural, with occasionally small towns in between, metropolitan areas being hours apart. LA and NYC are not representative of the vast majority of the country. I still see issues where I live, they're just very different from what the conservative media reports. I'm curious what state you're from? Or are you just reading highlighted stories from news articles?

>Undocumented immigration is what has turned NYC into a cesspool.
New York became a cesspool long before this week's news report.

>Immigrants are staying in hotels and living off the government. Do you want to pay for their expenses? Do you even pay taxes?
Strange that all of the immigrants around me have to work for themselves and aren't occupying any hotels, motels, nor any of the empty houses or empty commercial buildings. I have no choice whether I want or don't want to pay for their expenses. Yes I pay federal and state taxes and part of paying taxes is that the government spends it how they want, not how I want. At least in this scenario the taxes are paying for something in the US rather than funding wars to kill children outside the US or to fly up metal contraptions to "mars" for 6 billion dollars. I'm not saying everything is sunshine and roses everywhere, but the average American's experience is not the fear mongering you're hearing. The actual problems people face day to day is not what you're hearing on the news. As I said, it's basically grocery and gas prices driving Americans even further into a wealth gap, and in some cases poverty.
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>>21565
Crimes they committed like murder? Which they come here and do?
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>>21540 (OP) 
Guys, look. PUBIC HAIR. Let's discuss whether pubic hair is good or bad. I personally think it's good in moderation. What do you guys think.
Replies: >>21570 >>21573
>g-guys the illegals are all scummy heathens raping and killing college whores!!!
>its happening all the time!!!
>heres ummm.... oh!!! here's one story we're going to continue talking about for 3 weeks where it happened! all those super scary brown people!!!
FUCK YEAH I HATE BROWN PEOPLE I LOVE JESUS
>>21568
would rape/murder
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>>21570
gET OUT OF THIS WEB SITE  . YOUR KIND ARE NOT WELCOMED ,, HERE  LOG OFF  .
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>>21566
Yes, The United States is doing well for the most part, just don’t vote Biden and things would be better. The US is still a good country don’t buy into the fear mongering that’s going on look at statistics and do research. The American dream is still alive which is why people still keep coming, the mass immigration is a good sign of that.
>>21568
PUBES ARE BROWN  , DO NOT LIKE BROWN  . ;;'
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>>21571
>>21573
¡Estoy viniendo por ti, gringo! Te voy a matar y me meto con tu hija en mi lowrider. Después de que termine vendiendo estas fresas.
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>>21567
Yes, illegals are criminals one way or another. But the vast majority of immigrants you see coming are legally entering the US which is why they are not being deported. News channels just like to fear monger and make it seem much worse.
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>>21574
Hola amigo, desearía poder unirme contigo en el violación. Sin embargo, tengo que estar de pie junto al camino desde las 9 hasta las 14 para vender mis naranjas para poder comprar una nueva pareja de botines de acero con cuero de cocodrilo.
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>>21575
>News channels just like to fear monger and make it seem much worse.
Watch this guy, Tyler Oliveira doing his own independent investigative journalism regarding the immigration crisis. He goes around U.S. and documents everything. You're gonna deny his claims as well?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8spRZ0P9MU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFfDx0jJdeE&t=323s
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>>21577
>immigration crisis
You talk in keyword clickbait. You have no self formed opinions, you can only link to other people's opinions. Regurgitate regurgitate you little brainwashed cuck.
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>>21575
Okay so we don't disagree, illegal immigration should be stopped and legal immigration is fine.
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>>21579
>implying being a legal citizen suddenly stops crime
You love sucking the governments tit.
>>21578
Where do you get your opinions from? The mental hospital?
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>>21581
Certainly not from Youtubers making Mr. Beast-tier videos targeted towards children.
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>>21576
Ahhh. He's selling fruit...FRUIT! Arrest this BEANER right FUCKING now and throw his taco eating ass in Guantanamo.
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>>21583
it s fruit today  but it will be organs he harvested from my neighbor tomorrow !
>>21577
I’m not denying anything. I watched it, it’s still not as bad as you think if you look at statistics and do research. Most people were just saying that they need a place to stay because it’s crowded and that they aren’t causing that much trouble for the most part. Some people just over react because they buy into the fear mongering.
>>21575
I actually know someone who went through the process of legal immigration to the US. It is extremely difficult and expensive. It cost them multiple thousands of dollars and years of waiting, not to mention all the shit you have to know to pass the civics test, like history and geography etc (all in English btw). Questions like "What was the United States' primary concern in the Cold War?" that your average American zoomer couldn't answer, but an uneducated 25 year old guy who wants to get a job with his cousin pouring concrete in Dallas is supposed to be able to answer. Yeahok.

I'm not saying you shouldn't know those kinds of things before expatriating to another country, but for many people who simply want an opportunity to make some money and enjoy the marvels of modern plumbing, it's not really feasible. I'd wager the majority of the people crossing the border probably wouldn't be coming here in the first place if they had access to those resources (time/money) in their home countries.

The real question nobody seems to want to ask is "if immigration is so bad, why do they allow it?" Conservatives will have a knee-jerk answer to this along the lines of "they hate muh freedom" or "they're destroying the country! they hate america and love shitskins!!!" but is that REALLY the best you can come up with?

The reason the controllers are allowing unchecked mass immigration to the United States (and many European countries as well, btw) is because they want warm bodies for the people farms, which is essentially all a "country" is - little factions designed to extract energy resources from their "citizens." All the better if the new slaves are uneducated and compliant to their wishes.

The controllers also know that it's in their benefit to put natural citizens vs. immigrants at odds with one another. If we hate each other, that's actually great for them. This is really, really, really important to understand. It's why there's a big push to remove citizenship requirements for police and military. Did you know that in California and other states you don't have to be a US citizen to become a police officer? Australia also has non-citizen police and military, and I'm sure there are other places too if you looked into it.

They are literally pitting us against each other on purpose.

Immigrants aren't your enemy, THE GOVERNMENT IS.
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>>21579
legal immigrants are less likely to commit crime, sumbass
>>21586
Well you know what, the vast majority of immigrants do come legally to the US. They do go through the process because it’s worth it for them. It’s the illegal immigrants who are usually the problem. Some illegal immigrants have been known to commit violent crimes.
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>>21589
Did you know that natural born citizens commit far more violent crime than legal or illegal immigrants, per capita? Legal immigrants actually commit the least amount of crime, and illegal immigrants are somewhere in the middle. Statistically, it's roughly twice as dangerous to be around your fellow citizens compared to legal or illegal immigrants.
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>>21591
Yes, I already knew that. That’s why I was saying that some not all illegal immigrants commit violent crimes. The mass immigration to the US isn’t as bad they say it is, it’s all fear mongering.
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>>21593
Ah. I misinterpreted your post then, my bad. I thought you were basically saying "yeah but the TV said they commit lots of violent crime." Which they do, of course, but so does everyone else. I think we're on the same page.
DAYUM this thread is BORRRRRRRRING
>>21546
The twenty twenty version is only less by two syllables, which is not very significant when speaking. Two thousand twenty four logically makes more sense and is the superior way to say the year ヽ(•‿•)ノ2024.•´*¨`*•

>I think the movie "2012" is what made people start saying "twenty twelve" since that's how it was advertised back in 2009.
True, that and the whole "two thousand" thing seemed less cool to say about a decade later. I remember when the 2012 thing was supposed to go down, did you guys have any fear over it?
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>>21601
>did you guys have any fear over it?
It affected me about the same level as Y2K and 9/11 did.
>>21582
This guy does investigative journalism you retarded faggot. He goes out there and interviews people and makes documentaries
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>>21645
>these videos appeal to my confirmation bias, therefore I believe everything I see in them
I love it when for-profit YouTube-based "investigative journalists" use quick cuts and emotionally manipulative music and auditory cues, it really helps me get all the facts straight
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>>21648
And that discredits his endeavors. Because he seeks to promote his channel and increase his viewers. You’re a lost cause. Here’s your prescription.
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>>21652
What supporter level are you on his Patreon? Or do you just send the check directly to his talent agency?
>>21540 (OP) 
The Old Timing Forgettable President and the Laughing Yak Vice, sure, I'll vote them to destroy Amerikka.
I think it's better if people on this board don't discuss politics. You people are fucking retards.
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>>21688
Yup, I get tired of people impulsively spewing their shitty political takes, even when something is a joke or non political. I wish you could have a conversation here without it turning into a FOX news forum. Massively annoying for the people who don't care about politics.
I was over at my dads house the other day helping with some household chores. He lives in a very rural area of a very red state. At the end of the day we went to one of the nearby country bars. It’s the kind of place that farmers, truckers, legit cowboy boot wearers and the working class go to unwind with a cold one.

President Biden was on the TV and the local gun store owner said to his auto mechanic (friends since high school),

“You know what? He ain’t so bad. The economy is recovering, nobody’s rioting, and we’re standing up on the world stage again. Can’t believe I’m saying this but Ol’ Scranton Joe’s got my vote this year.”

I looked around and all I saw were heads nodding in agreement. I heard a few calls of “Yes sir” and “Damn Straight” from the men around me. Even saw the lonely ball cap wearing farmer in the corner raise his drink with a nod.
>>21601
The world ended that year in a alternate timeline.
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