/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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This is the thread to post your stories, poems, erotica, etc. about Ashley or her pugs.
You are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me like men
cause i am gay
There once was a girl named Ashley
With pugs named John and Stanley
She’d feed and treat them well
No dogs will go to hell
As Ashley loved them so badly
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Now, this is a story all about how
My penis got flipped-turned inside out
And I′d like to take a minute
Just shit right there
I'll tell you how I became the queen of this site called Tubgurl

In a mobile trailer born and raised
On the compound was where I spent most of my days
Fillin′ out, hackin', subcontractin', all cool
And all shootin′ some kids outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started using a tripcode in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and that fag declared
He said, "You′re deportin' with your aunties and uncles who are all on welfare"
im 200% nigger
Replies: >>17742
>>17737
I’ll hang you twice, then.
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>>17727 (OP) 
>This is the thread to post your stories, poems, erotica, etc. about Ashley or her pugs.
>thread to post your erotica about her pugs
>>17727 (OP) 
It was an ordinary day just like any other as Ashley felt bored.
“What am I to do with my life? I’m but an earthly woman with earthly desires to be satisfied! Oh, heavens, hear my pleas!”
It was at this moment when a lightbulb appeared over Ashley’s head.
“I know what to do! Yes! Oh, yes! This is the best idea I’ve had!”
She went to her kitchen and grabbed the peanut butter jar and slammed some of that bad boy on you know what.
She was so excited to do this but worried about its consequences. She laid on the sofa as she put her feet down and her knees up as she grabbed a bite of the peanut butter sandwich she had made. The consequence was that the ants bit her like a pack of pit bulls in a hospital’s delivery room.
The End.





















I said. The end. That’s it. Why are you still reading this? What? Oh, you were expecting something else? FUCK YOU! Who do you think I am? I’m not gonna do that shit. You were thinking…Oh God, I don’t want to think about it. Look, just fuck off, alright? Fuck right off. I said the story is over why are you still reading this? What the fuck is wrong with you? Look, unlike you, I have a life so I’m going now. Bye!














I said “BYE!!!”
Replies: >>17870
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she gave me Lasagna

I cry of joi

she pet me

I happy

the end
(mondays)
Replies: >>17845
>>17844
cringe
Replies: >>17846 >>17858
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>>17845
Replies: >>17849
>>17846
No, it's not. Tahiti is a good example of joke tripfag. Either learn to be funny or stop being a cringe retard.
>>17845
cringe
Oh, there once was a rascal named Greedo the Green
Who came all the way from deep space to Tatooine
As he looked for a smuggler named Han Solo
Who believed deeply in the grim words of YOLO
Greedo reached for his pistol and aimed it high
The life of young Solo seemed nearly nigh
He claimed high reward for turning him in
The eyes of Han Solo flashed as he mockingly grinned
The young Solo shot Greedo without even a blink
As the dead Greedo this did not thoroughly think
Oh the rascal named Greedo was boastful no more
As the young Solo walked out of the tavern door
Replies: >>17864
i like ash because she is pilled & core
i don't care about looks all that much desu, you guys need to get laid tbf
Replies: >>17877
>>17861
Is Han Solo supposed to be ash?
Replies: >>17876
>>17837
heh


I said heh... oh what? you wanted more than that for your cute little story? well I got news for you, that i aint gonna happen brother. A heh is all you get?
>>17864
No, this is just a parody of Ragnar the Red from Skyrim.
I’m still not sure to post my works here or not
Replies: >>17879 >>17883
>>17863
I like Ashley because she gives me hope. Since I've met her she's been a good influence on my life.
Also I don't know about your tastes but I think small women are the GOAT. Not only that I think she is genuinely beautiful and she's hardly trying to be so.
If I could, I'd marry her.
>>17876
Well, this thread is for fan fiction about ashley. People seem to like to write stories about her (like seabee and others) so I guess someone made a thread for that purpose.

If you want to share just general things you've written there's the "book club" thread here >>4630
Replies: >>17880
>>17879
Last time a certain tripfag did this and things turned sour quickly. I’m not sure I wanna do this.
Replies: >>17883 >>17894
>>17876
>>17880

>I’m still not sure to post my works here or not
>I’m not sure I wanna do this.
dude just post them here, its a thread for posting stories, poems, erotica, etc
yes ONE anon sperged out at you but fuck em, if you do something "wrong" the local internet janny will clean it up! thats what they (dont) get paid for!
Replies: >>17884 >>17894
>>17883
Alright
>>17880
lol probably cause nobody likes tripfags

>>17883
About ashley... not just general writing
Replies: >>17895
>>17894
If we can’t tolerate a user with a trip code, how are we different from the people who couldn’t tolerate anti-masking and anti-vaccine people. where do we draw the line? What is the difference between their intolerance and our intolerance. What sets us apart?
Replies: >>17897
>>17895
because using a tripcode on image boards is gay and always has been. why tf do we have to keep going over this?
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Lasagna
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          THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD, YOUR NEXT STOP THE TWILIGHT ZONE

  I arrived home from work. It was a rough week. I had been putting in some extra hours to meet my client's unrealistic deadline to complete the renovations to his house. I took solace in the fact that tomorrow was Sunday and I could sleep late. I heated and ate some chilli and cornbread that I had made a few days ago, took a shower and hit the sheets.

  I woke up Sunday morning, glanced at my digital clock on the end table which displayed 9:21 a m. Sure felt good to sleep this late. Suddenly I sensed that I was not alone in my bed. I turned over and there was Ashley. Where did she come from, how did she get into my house, she doesn't even know me. With those questions resting on my mind I just couldn't resist and threw caution to the wind. I placed my hand on her delicate face and gently kissed her soft lips. Ashley awoke and greeted me with a, "Good morning, Seabee".

  I asked her how she knew me and knew where I lived and how she got into my house. She looked at me incredulously saying that sometimes I freak her out with my weird gas lighting word games. She got out of bed promising to make me a nice breakfast. She may as well have been totally nude, all she was wearing was a snug, lacey panty. I finally got to see where those long and slender legs culminated, at the most perfect little butt ever conceived by man.

I was still totally confused but her presence totally allayed my confusion and I decided to just go with it and chalk it up to the fact that good fortune smiled and sent this perfect creature to me.

  She was making us some eggs and hashbrowns. She slipped a cassette into the player that I kept on the counter, Hall and Oates, nice choice, Ash. As the music played she oh so provocatively began swinging her little butt.making my heart race at the speed of light.

  It was a rewarding day. We watched a few movies, played video games and although I'm not a fan of video games it was worth it just being with her.

  Words can't describe the love making sessions that day. Making love with her while looking into those stunning hazel green eyes can only be compared to, well, the sum of all the amazing experiences I have encountered in my entire life. We ended the day exhausted from our sexual encounters and decided to call it a night. We fell asleep. Morning arrived and I glanced at the digital clock which displayed 9:21.

I turned to wake Ashley with a gentle kiss. She awoke and immediately started screaming, "Who are you, what are you doing in my house?" I looked around and I certainly wasn't in my house, nothing looked familiar. She again started screaming for me to get out of her house or she would call the cops. I got out of bed, put on my pants and searched for the front door. Finding the door I opened it to leave, confused and unhinged. What I saw outside sent shivers down my spine. It was like a scene from The Walking Dead only ten fold and I could smell putrid odors reserved only for hell. Ashley came up behind me. I turned to look at her. Her eyes were blood red. Her face had the most twisted, sinister and evil look I had ever seen. She let out a demonic laugh that almost stopped my heart.She pushed me out the door and with an ungodly tone said, "Enjoy the day, Seabee, because tomorrow will only be worse."

                                                         END
Replies: >>17902 >>17951
>>17901
Seabee. Sir.
At first I was like “Aww!”
But then I was like “wtf”
On the whole it was satisfying and eerie at the same time. It reminded of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.
Keep up the good work, sir.
Your stories are a fascinating read.
Replies: >>17909
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>>17902
Thank you, Anon
>>17901
I cant tell if you either gave her the D so much so that it drove her crazy the next day.
OR
this is some sort of commentary on how women act (and smell) when they are on their period.

Anyway looking forward to the next one!
Replies: >>17957
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>>17951
Sometimes I like to allow the reader to use his/her own imagination and draw their own conclusions.

Thanks, Anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91wX0NRjJqg
one day Ashley woke up and decided to take a shit because hey she's Ashley. so Ashley went up to Seabee and said "Seabee i want you to be my shitter" and since Seabee was Ashley's bitch he opened his mouth. Ashley pulled down her stained briefs and began to shit in Seabee's mouth. Seabee was forbidden to express any emotions but at this moment he was feeling very aroused.

Ashley's face turned red as she grunted and strained to push her log of shit out of her ass. She farted and little shit particles flew into Seabee's eyes. Seabee's eyes teared up, not from the pain of the shit particles nor from the paint-peeling stench coming from Ashley's unwashed ass, but from the sheer ecstasy of being Ashley's shitter. Ashley noticed this and began to grunt harder, teasing him.

Ashley noticed that Seabee was fiddling around with his tiny wiener, which had become quite erect. "stop that this instant" commanded Ashley, noticing her own 2-incher was growing hard as well. Seabee whined and reluctantly lowered his hands. with a final grunt and a smelly fart, Ashley's log of shit finally dropped from her ass into Seabee's mouth.

Ashley turned around and watched as Seabee chewed the shit log. "eat it bitch. eat it all" said Ashley. Seabee pretended he hated doing this so much but his throbbing wiener and moans of joy told Ashley otherwise. "swallow it" ordered Ashley but Seabee didn't want to swallow it yet. he wanted to savor the shit. "SWALLOW IT RIGHT NOW" screamed Ashley as she began wang-slapping Seabee across the face.

Ashley, hands on her hips, thrust her pelvis from side to side across Seabee's face, punishing the naughty construction worker "YOU DO WHAT ASHLEY TELLS YOU" she screamed. after about fourty wang-slaps her girl wiener started to become sore so she stopped. by now the shit log had gone down Seabee's throat.

now there was only one thing left to do.

Ashley bent over and pointed her ass at Seabee who immediately knew what to do. he began to use his tongue to clean Ashley's shitty ass. Ashley couldn't hold it back. her girl peener let loose with some "vegan ranch dressing." this brought Seabee to an orgasm as well. with both their wieners pleasantly limp and tingling they continued with the cleaning process. "don't forget to thorougly clean the dingleberries from the hairs" Ashley advised. Seabee obeyed his master. ten minutes later Ashley decided she was clean and put her clothes back on. now it was Bandit's turn with Seabee.

"yo Bandit i got him warned up for you" Ashley called as she walked out of the room. Bandit trotted in past her with a sly smile. "hello Seabee guess what time it is again" he said in a low voice as he locked the door behind him with his little paws. Ashley walked out into the kitchen ignoring Seabee's squeals of pain and joy, and poured herself a bowl of cereal. unfortunately she had forgotten to purchase milk, but she could improvise. she took out her girl wiener and peed into her cheerios.

Ashley sat down in front of the CRT tv and began to eat her cheerios and pee while periodically scratching her left boob. "hey these cheerios and pee aren't half bad" Ashley said out loud and contemplated having another bowl before she realized that she was all out of pee. Bandit had now returned, panting and sweating. "yo Bandit let me borrow some of your pee" said Ashley as she pointed the bowl at Bandit's crotch. "gee Ashley i don't know what you would want with my pee but sure" said Bandit as he lifted his leg.
Bandit filled Ashley's bowl but still had some more pee left in him. he took this opportunity to mark his territory around the house. first he peed on his side of the futon couch then he peed on his chair at the dining table. he only had a little pee left so he had to make this last one count. he looked around the room and spotted Ashley. he ran up and peed on Ashley, marking her as his own. "no one else can have you!!" barked Bandit. Ashley "accidentally" got some of Bandit's pee in her mouth.
Replies: >>18007 >>18083
>>18005
That was funny. In a fucked up way.
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Words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words.

Words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words.

Words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words. Words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words.
It was a beautiful day when Ashley was visiting the video store looking for some 70s hardcore animated pornos when an old man approached her saying "My, I remember seeing these flicks back in the 70s, when I was just a young boomer. Hey, shouldn't you be in school young miss?"

Ashley looked at the man and thought it'd be fun to mess around with him. She said "No, I don't go to school, anymore. School's for suckers. I just come here to find videos."

"You mean these old VHSs?" said the old man "I've got loads of these in our garage. We don't use 'em no more. We've got CDs now. Hey, how bout you come over to my place and I'll show you my videotape collection and you can have anything you want. Hell, I'll even give you the VCR, cause I like you."

Ashley knew about stranger danger and the terrible possibilities of going with a complete stranger who wants to take her to his house, so she did the logical thing and got into the old stranger's car.
What happened next was Ashley being greeted by the old man's family as they treated her like one of their own. They played air hockey for an hour and had lunch after that the old man showed her all the collection of videotapes he had. As Ashley wanted to leave, the old man sad "Not so fast, missy. Aren't you forgetting something?"

In half an hour Ashley was worn out. She was breathless. She said "I don't think it'll fit there."

"It'll fit. Just be patient. I'll fit everything in there. Hell I've fitted some weird stuff in smaller places."

"Please, you don't have to do this."

"It's almost done. I can't stand it anymore. I'll just dump them here and I'll be glad I did it. I'm sure you will too."

"Please, I didn't come here for this. I just came to see your collection."

The old man took a loud moan as he straightened his back and said "Oh, God. It's done. I put all my videos and the VCR in the car."

The old man drove Ashley back to her house and Ashley had the time of her life watching old flicks on her new VCR.

The End.




























The story is over. Why are you here again? What...Oh, no. NO! I said I won't do that shit. Leave me alone. Stop reading this. Stop reading you fucking perv! The story is over. Look I'm going now. So bye.
Replies: >>18083
>>18005
TYFYS Seabee

>>18069
>>18070
You're really good at writing a scene out in detail, its a bit of a read, well at least for me anyway, but I enjoy the detail you put in your work like the distinct dialgoue that certain characters have.
I do wonder where this is going, I have an idea but I wont post it to avoid spoilers.

>>18079
Heh, nice swerve

btw









I actually dont have anything to say in this part I just wanted to waste a few seconds out of your life :-) so bye! 
Replies: >>18103
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>>18069
>>18070
Great story so far Hans, well written. 

Something  I've gleaned from Ashley's undying love for the Count (and I don't use the term undying in the figurative sense) and her voracious appetite tells me that Ashley has been smitten and bitten by the Count and has joined the underworld realm of the vampire. But that's just my take so far, you're the puppet master.
Replies: >>18103
>>18083
Cheers, anon
I hope you enjoyed reading it. To tell you the truth even I’m not sure where I’m headed. The possibilities lay ahead but which one will be written down even I don’t know. Stay tuned.

>>18094
Cheers, SeaBee. I always look forward to your commentary, sir and am first in line to read your new stories. All will be revealed in the next chapter.
It was a beautiful sundown in wherever it is Ashley lives when she took a wrong turn in an alleyway and soon found herself in the path of 5 “teenagers” with their low pants, hip-hop music, sideways caps and rich vernacular. She quickly turned back to exit the alleyway.
“Yo, baby, you lost?” said one of the gentlemen.

Ashley ignored them as she walked faster.

“Slow down, gurl. Ay yo, we’ll help you out.”

Ashley’s walking turned into a mile jog as her boobies bounced and her butt jiggled, making the aforementioned gentlemen more eager to pursue her as she appealed to their basic instincts with their high melatonin, socio-economic factors, and systematic racism that tends to make them rob, rape and murder helpless people. Remember, YOU’RE THE REASON THEY ARE VIOLENT PIECES OF SHIT!
As Ashley exited the alleyway, a police cruiser with two cops sporting cowboy hats stopped in front of the alleyway. The cops drew their Glocks as they ordered Ashley to get down.
Ashley said “No, don’t shoot. Don’t shoot. They’re actors I’ve hired to shoot a comedy video about gang rape and murder.”

Her cameraman stopped recording and came forth and explained how they were actually shooting an indie film.
They all had a big laugh as they thought of what they thought was happening and would’ve happened next. Then the cops arrested everyone for filming without a license. Ashley made it to the local news as the media labelled her “White Supremacist Neo-Nazi makes racist offensive video and gets arrested for illegal filming.”
The local Neo-Nazi gang leader who had a big heart but a small brain saw Ashley’s mugshot in the news and not only fell in love with the Mexican Maiden but also found it his duty to post Ashley’s bail because he actually believed she’s a raging anti-Semite or something. Ashley thanked him for the bail but tried to get rid of him by telling him she’s a tranny with a dick but ironically ended up putting an even bigger bulge in the guy’s pants. But since the guy lived in denial about his sexuality, he suppressed it and walked away.

The End.




















You again! Look, I know you want Ashley getting bukakked, or creampied or running a train from all holes and even bullet-holes by a pack of niggers like she’s Riley Reid or maybe even she’s being a dominatrix wearing leather lingerie with swastikas, skulls and ᛋᛋ insignia and whips, shouting German phrases to her far-right subbies, as she gasses them while they’re giving her head, but I won’t write that stuff. It ain’t my style. So, please, just try to enjoy what little I do. No! don’t enjoy it that way, you fucking perv. God is watching you. Jesus sees everything you’re doing. You should be ashamed.
Replies: >>18153
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                                                 THE VISITOR

  I had no job scheuled for the day so I was home doing the dreaded paper work,quarterly tax reports, ordering material etc. Ashley came up behind me and slipped her slender arms around me. She began gently sucking my neck. I asked her why she was giving me a hickey and she replied that she was branding me to let other girls know that I was hers and hers alone.

  She gently grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the chair. She led me to the bedroom and told me to make myself comfortable and she'd be back in a few minutes.

  She returned wearing the skimpiest black panties and top and black nylons that almost reached up to her smooth slender white thighs. What a color contrast. The girl knew all my buttons and how to press them.

  She slowly removed my shirt and jeans and then relieved me of my boxer briefs. My stiff penis bounded out like a race horse at the starting gate. Ashley chuckled and said, "Well I guess you're glad to see me, Seabee."

  I couldn't keep my hands to myself. I slowly caressed her warm and sensual body and those miniscule black panties only added to my arousal. The scent of her pixie hair almost put me in a hypnotic state. Ashley removed her snug fitting top revealing the most perfect,tight and firm little breasts and stunning pimk nipples. She sensually rubbed her vulva through her panties smirking as only she can all the while. She slid off the panties revealing a well manicured vulva. The outer lips of her vulva were so firm and tight that I could barely see her clitoris peaking out at me waiting to be pleasured. My tongue found it, Ashley began to softly moan and in a soft sultry voice told me that nobody does it better.

  She grabbed my stiff penis and slid it into her now moist and throbbing vagina. I had to be the luckiest guy on the face of the earth.

  As I lay on top of her our motions became as one. Looking into those expressive hazel green eyes I couldn't help but achieve nirvana and by the tone of her moans I knew she had also.

  We snuggled for awhile and she told me that she had to go grocery shopping and I opined that I had to finish my paper work. We reluctantly dressed and I gave her the keys to my Dodge Challenger six speed manual transmission. I had taught Ashley how to drive a manual transmission and she picked it up quite easily, she was a quick learner and even enjoyed rowing through the gears probably due to her mechanical ability.

  As she was leaving I told her to pick up some apples so she could make her sumptious apple pie. She smiled and said, "Anything for you Seabee."

  I returned to my paper work and about ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. I got up, walked towards the door and opened it. There in front of me was an old lady. She said that she was an old friend of my mother. I invited her in and set her down at the kitchen table. I asked if she would like a cup of tea, old women like tea and she nodded her head in the affirmative. She again told me that she knew my mother and that she used to baby sit  my mom when my mom was a little girl. She told me the anguish my mother went through when for financial reasons my mother had to put me up for adoption when I was a baby.

  I told her that I knew that I was adopted but that I never knew my birth mother, only my kind and generous adoptive parents. She asked if I knew that Ashley was also adopted. I said that I knew and that Ashley and I found that it was just another thing that we had in common, that it seemed to draw us even closer together.

  The old woman looked at me over her cup of tea with her pale blue eyes, She said that she was so glad that Ashley and I had reconnected. I looked at the old woman quizically and asked ," What did she mean by reconnected?" She said to me, " Young man, don't you know?" I retorted, "Know what?" She said that my birth mother gave birth to a daughter a few years after I was born and given up for adoption. My birth mother put her baby daughter up for adoption for the same financial reason.

  The old woman looked at me stoically and said, "My dear young man, Ashley is your sister."

                                  THE END
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>>18118
I was just finishing up my story when your story popped up. I guess great minds think alike.

Enjoyed immensely your current episode. Dare I say I was on the edge of my seat with your descriptive literary prose sticking closely to the period, Nicely done.
Replies: >>18130
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>>18121
TYFMMJAOTFNH (Thank You For Making Me Jizz All Over The Floor, No Homo). I masturbated to this. I especially enjoyed the part where Ashley was your sister; I've often fantasized that she was my little sister and that I raped her while our parents were out at the symphony (it's a fantasy anyway, so we're rich).

One suggestion is to vary up your terms for an orgasm, you seem to use "achieve nirvana" often. Here are some terms you may use in your next story:

- Did a cummy
- Popped my pringles
- Male squirting happened
- Shot a hot greaser
- Dribbled a watery unsatisfying load
- Caught my semen in my foreskin like a water balloon and then squeezed it out for additional distance
- "After we finished, I knew we were going to need more Wet Wipes from the store"
- I achieved nirvana, she didn't, I didn't care

Let me know if you need more.

Btw, we need more armpit-focused content, so if anyone wants to go for that, be my guest. I think hairy armpits are arousing because it's pubes, so if you look at Ashley's armpit hair you can imagine what her vaginal hair might look like. They also probably stink so good.
Replies: >>18178
>>18121
>My stiff penis bounded out like a race horse at the starting gate
kek


is it GAY to jerk off to another mans erotic short story? asking for a friend 
also there is nothing wrong with incest as long its consensual and not for making babies... thats what my sister used to tell me when we were kids
>>18121
LOL! Oh my God! DAYUMM!
What a twist that was.
I didn't expect that ending. I don't know how to feel about it. I'm still laughing as I type this, SeaBee. It was very enjoyable nonetheless.

>>18123
Thank you. I appreciate your readership. I really enjoyed writing this part as the idea came to me so suddenly and realized it's better to write it now than to postpone it.
I had no intentions of putting Michelle under the spotlight as I've spent so little on the Ashley angle. I guess I just have a thing for crazy and unstable women as I really believe the main focus of this chapter was on Michelle's shenanigans than anything else. The next chapter will be more about Ashley, hopefully.
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"Hello, you've reached Aaaashhhleey Jones"
Have I? I really doubt it, her number perhaps but her heart I'm not so sure.
"I can't get to the phone right now but I DO want to talk to you."
Do you? I doubt it. But I really Do want to talk to you
"So please leave your name or alias and phone number so I can call you back, silly."
I have, but will you? I doubt again, my dear. Do pick up the phone once in a while, do call me back, I won't bite I just smile. I won't take your call the wrong way, so please dial it anyway.
There comes the beep. I leave a message, does it reach her? Can she hear me? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? Who cares?
Replies: >>18165
>trying to "win the heart" of the girl on the other end of the cum fart hotline
ISHYGDDT
Replies: >>18148 >>18153
>>18147
It's a fucking poem, anon. Don't take it literally.
>>18104
I'm a 36 yo black man, when I read this I was hooked.

>>18118
>>18120
does Ashley carry the vampire gene because she sucks? HUE HUE HUE HUE
But seriously good stuff (this is because im retarded, not your writing) is Ashley a vampire now? The Count said "She has been kissed on the neck by me." does that mean she bit her and turned into a vampire?


>>18147
Hey brother Im just trying to win her shart
Replies: >>18155
>>18153
To tell you the truth even I don’t know until I’ve written it down. So I’m not sure. Let’s say she’s on the border of life and death. She’s definitely bitten, but in most vampire stories for a human to turn, they need to drink the vampire’s blood.
Stay tuned, anon.
Chapter IV is on its way!
>>18145
>"I can't get to the phone right now but I DO want to talk to you."
>Do you? I doubt it. But I really Do want to talk to you
You got that right
It was a beautiful night on the Las Vegas strip when Ashley felt a terrible urge to gamble. So she brought out all her Panda Express gift cards and went straight to Caesars Palace. She put all her cards on the 0 of the roulette table and said
"Come on! Mama needs a new CO2 tank!"
The wheel turned and it landed on another number. Ashley lost all her gift cards. Ashley left Caesars Palace. She cried. Her woes were heard as her fairy Godmother came to visit her.
"Cry, no more my dear. Your fairy godmother is here!"

"Wow!" she said "Can you turn me into a princess?"

"Princess? Who you kiddin? No. I'm gonna dress you like a hooker and you're gonna turn tricks for me on the street. I'm yo fairy godmuddafucka, bitch and I'm gonna be pimpin that sweet ass of yawz."

The fairy godmother(fucker) whored up Ashley so that she can turn some decent tricks.

Interestingly enough she dressed her in an American high school student's uniform, skirt and all but without the bullet holes.

But soon, they arrested her on the strip before she was a lost cause for underage drinking not believing her how old she really said she was and sent her to the emergency room. Turns out someone had spiked Ashley's drink with PCP and she had imagined everything that had happened to her that night and just talked to some armadillos and kept following and calling a streetwalker as her fairy godmother. Ashley went home to wherever it is she lives. Probably Alaska.

The End.






































That was nice, wasn't it? Yes. I know I certainly enjoyed writing that one. I like it how Ashley makes it through these extraordinary situation. Well, see ya.
Replies: >>18336
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>>18125
Heh, heh, I try to add a little culture to my wording of my sexual encounters with Ashley but I'll take your examples under advisement next time.
It was a beautiful day in Pennsylvania where I assume Ashley is when she was visited by a mysterious man in 80s clothes and a modified DeLorean. The man said his name was Marty and that he had run out of spare parts for his DeLorean to go back to the Future. He explained Future was the name of a town in Ohio or something.
Ashley told him she was just an earthly girl with earthly desires who was about to eat some peanut butter sandwich on her couch. He offered the man some and invited him in. Soon this little invite turned to something much better as Ashley and Marty laid on the sofa and forgot about the peanut butter. Marty was such a good looking man (no homo). Marty started kissing and stroking Ashley and Ashley drove her fingers through his locks. Soon things started to heat up as Ashley took off her t-shirt revealing her sports bra and Marty’s pants as Marty’s one-eyed monster popped out of his underwear by accident, oozing out love juice.
But soon they were interrupted as someone knocked on their door.
As Ashley got dressed and opened the door he saw it was another Marty with another DeLorean, he said he had come back to the future to give a condom to his past self as to not get Ashley knocked up. But since Ashley was a horny little minx he grabbed second Marty by the collar and threw him against first Marty and said “Now both of you have to DP me, faggots!”
As Ashley was getting cozy with the boys who put their hands all over her, her pussy was going insane. She took off their pants and saw the symmetry of their erect cocks, bouncing back and forth like a reflection. But soon this affair was cut short when a third Marty showed up with another DeLorean and said that the previous Marty had also forgotten to bring a condom and would knock up Ashley if he raw dogged her so he had brought a whole box of Durex to survive them through the night. Ashley pulled that one into her house as well. Soon the foursome commenced as Ashley couldn’t get enough of all the Martys. But soon a considerate fourth Marty showed up with his DeLorean with a tube of lube and said that the anal would leave her a sore ass so he brought some lube to help her fit two cocks in her butthole. As the Marty’s lubed up Ashley for a sensual experience they were interrupted again when soon a fifth Marty showed up that said that they’re gonna regret doing this and they should stop as the Anal dp would kill Ashley from internal bleeding, but Ashley pulled that Marty into her house too and seduced her with her kisses like the temptress she was.
But soon that was interrupted as well when two cops in cowboy hats showed up that said someone had reported a case of incest (which is illegal in Pennsylvania) with quintuplets and arrested all the Martys.
Turns out the sixth Marty was smarter than that and had sold out his past selves.

The End.













that’s as far as I’m willing to go pardner. Over yonder is Mexico.
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This one goes to me. It’s about the time when you realize your flying was just a free fall, and instead of a parachute they’ve just put an anvil in your backpack.

A “Tercet” for my dear anons.
May it please you far more than it pleased me.

It’s a terrible thing to have an addiction
Living in fantasy, horror and fiction
You hope to give it its valediction

It’s a big challenge to keep your sanity
With people around you filled with vanity
How long can you keep this mentality?

It’s difficult to hide your pain
Where for expressing it you’ll be slain
For men it’s a sign of shame

Every word was just a copy and paste
Your sense of humor left a bad taste
A tête-à-tête has gone to waste

You’ve shattered me to a million pieces 
My soul even cannot be saved by Jesus
I hope my pain your sensation pleases
Replies: >>18326 >>18331
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>>18323
Thou art the poet laureate of the tubgurl board, Hans.
Replies: >>18359
>>18323
delete this
Do you ever feel
like a plastic bag
drifting through the wind
hoping to start again?
>>18332
cuz baby your a faggot work
>>18332
go ahead and suuuuuuck some COCK really make em go ah ah ah6
>>18172
I can envision this being an Ashley video with the Her playing all the parts except the amadildos which would be played by her dogs that are wearing funny armadildo costumes
>>18326
I'd gladly hold that honorary title, SeaBee!
Thank you for your much appreciated laudation, sir.

>>18332
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHxi-HSgNPc
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Another Wednesday, another day at work. My idiot coworker is slacking off again. I shouldn’t complain though, I have lazy days as well. Retail is a bitch; it really makes you lose your faith in human intelligence. Halfway through the day and I’ve already had too many people ask me stupid questions. One lady even stared directly at a sign explaining how our current sale works and looked right at me and asked what sales we have going on. I think if another retard walks in the store I’m going to flip. 

Speak of the devil. 

Ashley Jones – what are the odds? She and that craigslist chauffeur of hers. Honestly, seeing her was a blessing. I needed a good laugh, and she’s not a total retard, just maybe could have used an extra week and a half in the oven, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. 

But wait, what’s Ashley doing here? I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn’t schitzing out. I was beginning to think she didn’t exist at all, let alone would walk into my work. I could feel my face turning red, why was it turning red? I took a deep breath and went up to the peculiar pair. 

“Can I help you two find anything?” I said, giving a soft smile. 

Ashley looked at me with those big brown eyes, she wore a beanie (which is strange because it’s a little warm out), cargo pants, a pair of jumper boots, and an oversized t-shirt. Her friend was wearing... who fucking cares? 

“Not right now... thanks...” Ashley uttered. She seemed annoyed, was I coming on a little strong? 

I decided to match her energy, my boss wouldn’t be happy, but I knew Ashley, she’s fucking with me, testing the waters. 

“No problem, I’ll be over there.” 

She eyeballed me and gave me a smirk. Score. 

I went back to the counter, alone. I watched her from a distance. She was looking through our knick-knacks, our baubles and bric-a-bracs. She seemed disinterested in most of it, but one thing caught her eye- little door stop shaped like a rabbit. I saw her turn it over, look right at the price and bring it up to the counter. 

“How much is this?” 

Now, like I said, I know Ashley is retarded, but not THAT retarded. She wanted an excuse to talk to me, typical woman. I knew there was no better time to drop the bomb. 

“Why? Too expensive for Mordecai?” 

Tomato red. She stuttered, stammered and sputtered. Then the color returned to her face, but not for long, she almost immediately turned pale, even paler than her natural color. I saw she slowly began to fall back. I tried to catch her, but I only got a grip on the collar of her shirt. I felt the fabric slowly ripping and tearing in my fingers. Ashley doesn’t weigh much, so it must have been an older shirt. 

I felt her hand grip my wrist. So close. So close to my hand. I began to feel the hairs on my neck stand up. She steadied herself and released her grip. At this point I was covered in goosebumps, I realized I was still holding her shirt.

---END PART 1---
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>>18617
>Ashley looked at me with those big brown eyes
THEY'RE FUCKING GREEN AAURRG AAU AUUUWWU!!!1
>>18624
I'll meet you halfway at hazel
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>>18617
Did her top come off? Write it so her top comes off.
>>18624
>>18626
Youre both wrong. They're clearly grey blue
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It was almost time to get back to shooting the movie I was starring in, Duke Nukem: The Live Action Cinema Experience. I still had a few minutes in my trailer, though, so I spent that time on one of my favorite activities: oiling my rippling muscles in the mirror.

The year was 1997 and I had picked up this movie deal between shooting seasons of my successful television program, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. It was about some computer game for nerds. Who cares - I'm Kevin Sorbo, and I was there for a big fat paycheck. Almost as big as my muscles and cock.

Hey, I thought as I looked in the mirror. I look pretty good as this Duke Fuckem character, or whatever his name is. As I continued to oil myself, I heard a knock on the door.

That's right. I had that stupid fan signing event. Some undoubtedly autistic and fat weirdo had paid $5,000 to come onto the set and "hang out" with me. It must be him.

I sighed, set down my muscle oil, and opened the door. A petite little girl with short hair stood there. Poor thing was shaking in anticipation, just to see me.

I tossed my luscious hair back and stared at her.

"D-d-d-d-d-uke!!!" she stammered, her GREEN eyes watering.

Hm. This could be fun.

"Come on in," I said like the muscular fucking badass that I am.

The strange girl just stood there, looking like she was about to burst. Wait a second. She had burst. This girl had just pissed and shit her pants right in front of me. I could tell because I tend to have this effect on women and this wasn't the first time something like this had happened.

"Let's get you cleaned up," I said with a smirk.

"Uh huh" she said like a dumb little shit-covered retard.

I grabbed her arm, pulled her into my trailer, and threw her down on the couch. I grabbed a roll of paper towels and tossed them at her.

"Clean yourself up and meet me in the bedroom," I said, happy that I had demanded a trailer with a bedroom for occasions like this.

I went to the bedroom and began stroking my 10 inch cock to get it nice and hard and thick for her, yeah.

Moments later, she arrived, still stinking of her own refuse. I didn't care, Duke needed to blow his load. Damn she was a hairy little thing though. I was getting tired of writing this story, so I bent her over the bed and smashed my 12 inch rod into her cervix until she couldn't walk straight. Nutted up inside it too, obviously. I can afford that shit.

I went back to oiling my muscles as the ambulance took her away.

THE END
>>18626
I'm not going to meet you halfway anywhere you piece of cum.

>>18628
newfags everywhere. ashley herself has said multiple times that they're green. we all know they're not really green but we play along to be nice. it's called having good manners you dumb bitch.
Replies: >>18634 >>18779
Herein is my poem for you Ashley. Here we go. Ashley, I like you a whole lot
More than that faggot liked spoonin' that ro-bot.
You are a diamond in the rough
Or a flower surrounded by shrapnel and stuff.
I will hang myself from my own tombstone
if within you, I cannot put my bone.
Replies: >>18660
>>18631
>newfags everywhere. ashley herself has said multiple times that they're green. we all know they're not really green but we play along to be nice. it's called having good manners you dumb bitch.

What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tubbies and and I have over 300 confirmed (You)s

I am trained in both shitposting and I'm the top commenter on the entirety of videos.icum.to/

You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this board, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over /Ashleyj/? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting Ashley on 725-CUM-FART to get your IP right now, so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.
The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bear hands. Not only am I extensively trained in deadly use of a cheese stick, but I have access to an entire arsenal of horse cock dildos and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. 

I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Replies: >>18635
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>>18634
>>18617
Hm.
>>18629
Meh
>>18633
Lame
Replies: >>18668
>>18660
yeah I'm sure your contributions have been so much better fag
Replies: >>18724
Poetry is lame
Replies: >>18720
>>18681
Does everyone know poetry sucks, but they're just too afraid to seem dumb or like they don't get it? Because if you say you don't like poetry there's a certain kind of person that will look down their nose at you and act like you're some kind of rube, and they're amazing for skimming through "The Collected Works of John Keats" when they were on the toilet.

I completely "get" poetry but I'm tired of pretending like it's not pretentious garbage.
>>18668
I’m the court’s poet, my work’s a thrill
I write with passion and almost no chill
This thread is my home where I make my expression
Every word is gospel, where I make a confession
I take no heed to other woes of sorrow
My sorrow will be gone by the dawn of tomorrow
I’ll show gratitude for works that are worth it
But only and only if those works deserve it
You want a compliment? then come back another day
And perhaps reconsider your belittling way
Ashley’s my muse, my love and my mistress 
I won’t take kindly to rogues who cause distress
Go now and come back some other time
Go and ponder over. It won’t cost a dime.
>>17727 (OP) The stench of desperation and unwashed bodies hung heavy in the air, a tangible manifestation of the collective insecurity and loneliness that brought them all together in this unassuming Days Inn Convention Center. Ashley Jones, the provocative comedienne from 4 chan, had arranged a IRL meet and greet, hoping to connect with her fans in person and perhaps even find some semblance of human connection herself. Little did she know that the internet, in all its infinite wisdom, had conjured up a gathering more befitting a freak show than a celebration of fandom.

As the hours wore on, the convention center began to resemble less of a convention center and more of a fetid den of depravity. Fans crowded around Ashley, their eyes wide and glassy, their breath coming in ragged gasps as they struggled to form coherent sentences. Some simply stared, their lips quivering as they fought back the urge to unleash the torrents of pent-up lust and insecurity that threatened to engulf them. Others were more forward, grabbing at her clothes, whispering obscene propositions into her ear, their bodies pressed against hers in a desperate attempt to establish some form of physical contact.

Ashley, for her part, was mortified. She'd expected her fans to be awkward, yes, but nothing like this. Their desperation was palpable, their gazes hungry and predatory. She tried to maintain a professional demeanor, but the stench was beginning to take its toll. Her eyes watered, her throat burned, and she couldn't shake the feeling that at any moment, one of them might snap and do something truly horrifying.
Replies: >>18748
>>18746
Now that was fantastic.
It truly grasped the vibe and atmos of this board as it represented how Ashley and we all may be feeling here sometimes.
I for one really enjoyed reading this.
Something else I noticed today is Ashley has removed the name field from the Fiction Thread. I wonder why.
Replies: >>18749
>>18748
Part 2
As the night wore on, the convention center seemed to reach a fever pitch of depravity. A group of fans gathered around one of the tables, their hands furtively exploring each other's bodies Another fan, a portly man in his late forties, began to masturbate openly in the corner, his eyes locked on Ashley. She could feel the weight of their attention like a physical force, pressing down on her shoulders.

Ashley retreated to the relative safety of her  room, where she could breathe in the faint aroma of cheap hotel air freshener and pretend that this was all just a bad dream. She collapsed into a chair, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

As the night wore on, Ashley could still hear the sounds of the convention center, the moans and grunts and slapping skin echoing through the thin walls. She turned on the TV, hoping to distract herself with mindless sitcoms and reality shows, but the images and sounds from the convention center were still there, haunting her. She considered calling the police, but she was afraid that they wouldn't take her seriously, that they'd think she was just overreacting to a harmless gathering of fans.
Replies: >>18752
>>18628
Didn't she put contact lenses here. That color seems a bit...unsettling.
Replies: >>18751
>>18750
She decided to take a shower, hoping that the hot water and the steam would wash away the memories and the smell. But even as she stood beneath the streaming water, she couldn't help but feel the weight of their gazes, the pressure of their desire. She wondered if she'd ever be able to go back out there, to face her fans again.

As the hours passed, Ashley lay awake in her bed, her mind racing. She couldn't understand why her fans had turned out like this. Was it her fault? Had she somehow encouraged this behavior with her provocative online persona? Or was it simply a reflection of the dark underbelly of the internet, where people felt free to express their most depraved desires without consequence?

She tried to distract herself with her laptop, but she couldn't shake the images from her mind. The smell of the convention center seemed to cling to her skin, a constant reminder of the night's events. She thought about calling someone, anyone, for support, but she was too embarrassed and ashamed.
Replies: >>18753
>>18749
Do go on if there is more, anon. I quite like your writing. It has great psychological elements in the narrative.
The sexual depravity, Ashley's escape from the grotesque reality. How one's idea of reality may be a radical contrast to their experience of reality.
Top notch stuff.
>>18751
It's getting more interesting as the next part pops.
It is really a real mystery, between what we really are and what we present to people around us. What in Jungian psychology we call the persona and the shadow. "The persona is the mask we wear in social situations, while the shadow represents our repressed or hidden aspects."
Replies: >>18754
>>18753
Final chapter
As the sun began to rise, Ashley knew she couldn't stay in her room any longer. She had to face her fears 
She packed up her things and left the hotel, not bothering to check out. She had enough money to get by for a while, and she was determined to find a way to make a new life for herself, one where she wasn't constantly surrounded by people who saw her as nothing more than an object of desire.

Ashley drove for hours, not sure where she was going, but needing to get as far away from the convention center as possible. She eventually found herself in a small town, nestled among rolling hills and lush forests. The air was clean and the people were friendly, and for the first time in years, she felt like she could breathe again.
Replies: >>18755
>>18754
This last part really made me think. Have we as individuals been doing her wrong?
This really made me wonder. Have we belittled her in our ways even if we didn't mean to do so.
Be it our praise, our love or lust, was this all an unjust act committed against her?
I felt guilty after reading this last part. I feel that I'm nothing better than the rest of the anons.
I truly hope I see her more than just an object of desire. As another human being.
The last part also sets me uneasy. What if all of this was true? What if she leaves her fans once more because she cannot cope with their ways and realities.

This felt really unsettling and powerful, anon.

Thank you for writing this.
Replies: >>18757 >>18764
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>>18755
You’re beginning to understand.

There is a world outside of tubgurl. Don’t take things so seriously. Relax some, be thankful we have the chance to speak and interact with Ashley. She’s fun, she makes us smile, but do not idolize her. It might make her uncomfortable, and you do a disservice to yourself.

Thank you Ashley for all the videos and shitposts, makes my week a bit better.
Replies: >>18758 >>18759
>>18757
Thank you. I think I now understand what you mean.
I look forward to more of your writing and commentary on works of mine and other anons, anon.
Replies: >>18761
>>18757
Try telling that to /ashleyj/ on Endchan. They are literally obsessed with her. I was on there for a little bit it it got ridiculous. They LITERALLY stalk her looking up her addresses, where she went to school They were messaging her Mom posing as a family member. They looking for her dad in old year books. Then were wondering why she "disappeared" ATleast were not THAT bad...yet.
Replies: >>18760 >>18761
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>>18759
>>18758
>>18759
I hope my writing wasn't disturbing her in any way.
If it were I would've discontinued.
Would you say it was?
Replies: >>18762
>>18761
I wouldn’t, no. Ashley’s a smart cookie, she can take a joke. We all know it’s ironic. Just be careful that the irony doesn’t turn into reality.
Replies: >>18763
>>18762
I certainly hope so, anon.
Because I don't want to upset her in any ways.
Even if I thought I was doing any good.
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>>18755
Jumpin' Jesus, you guys take this stuff way too seriously.
Replies: >>18765 >>18772
>>18764
So you don't mind the poems of praise and the stories?
Replies: >>18766 >>18776
>>18765
You’ve swung the pendulum in the opposite direction. If you care too little about how she feels you’ll come off as an asshole, if you care too much it seems needy. Be yourself. Sounds cliche but in generally works.
Replies: >>18769
>>18766
The problem is I sometimes disturb the natural order of things without even trying or malice. But I'll take your advice anyway.
Thanks.
Replies: >>18772
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>>18769
I think I recognize you from your other posts based on writing style. So, I genuinely don't mean this in a confrontational way, but
>The problem is I sometimes disturb the natural order of things without even trying or malice
I think that's because you tend to make everything about yourself. This conversation, for example. Instead of talking about each other's silly stories, we're talking about you and your feelings. That that kind of dramatic and feminine energy is offputting, especially on an image board that very clearly doesn't take itself too seriously (see >>18764). My friendly advice would be to just chill the fuck out and have a laugh.
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I don't know about you homos, but I'm going to abduct Ashley when she lets her dog out at night to pee and toss her into the trunk of my car. Then I'm going to take her to Olive Garden and stab her in the throat with my bread stick and fill her insides with my Alfredo sauce.
>>18765
Distraught? Only nerdy niggas write fan fiction. I'm not so worried about you guys. I'm only frightened by my Dollar Tree stocker (Not to name names but LB AKA DapperDan AKA Wesley Reese, you know who you are).
Replies: >>18777
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>>18776
*stalker also SHIT SHE KNOWS
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>>18629
Best story yet. Kevin Nukem is my Sonichu.
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>>18617
>>18624
>>18626
>>18628
>>18629
>>18631
 Let's put aside The eye color controversy and enjoy related video.

https://youtu,be/EPOIS5taqA8
Replies: >>18780
>>18779
OK, let's see if this works

https://www,youtube.com/watch?v=EPOIS5taqA8
Replies: >>18781
>>18780
Unlike those other retards, I knew to change the comma to a period.
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https://youtu.be/2Wdu5FYGTRs
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>>18617
I cleared my throat. “Sorry...” and I let go. 

She shook her head. “No, thank you, I could have cracked my head open.” 

I nodded awkwardly, not knowing what to say to such a gruesome description from such a petite woman. 

“So, you’re a fan?” 

Shrugging my shoulders, I said “I suppose, I’m sort of new.” 

“Ah, a newfag, I should have known.” 

I didn’t let that bother me, she’s a woman, they can smell weakness like a pedo can smell children’s shampoo. 

I leaned over the counter, to take up more space, that’s what alphas do, right? 

“New, fresh meat for you to corrupt.” 

She laughed, “it has been a while since I’ve seen a new face, with my hiatus and all that.” 

I only knew part of the story, after having watched her hour-long Q&A. She filled me in on the detes. I don’t know why it was so surprising to me. It was nice to hear the inside story though, brought this folk hero in front of me back down to earth. She in turn asked me how I came across her website. My hands got clammy, because I thought the story was kind of cringe. 

“Oh, someone just posted a clip from your documentary on 4chan” I lied. 

The truth? Much worse. I was doing some “research” on rule34 Duke Nukem, and I noticed a strange pattern. An abnormal amount of Duke Nukem porn included a short tomboy servicing his cock. It took me months to find the sources. It led me here, to tubgurl.com. It was only afterwards that I found icum.to. 

She looked a little annoyed. “Well, it’s interesting to know people are still posting on 4chan, but I’m disappointed that my fans are still posting on that normie shit.” 

The important part was she believed me, but I felt a little bad for slandering her viewers. 

“Well, I’m glad someone did, I’ve enjoyed watching all your videos.” 

That perked her up, she never rubbed me as the type to want as many views as possible, more the type to want the quality of her videos to attract the people she shared the same sense of humor with. 

It was at this point I noticed how stretched her shirt collar was. She didn't seem to notice, but she was showing more skin than usual now. She had shown skin in some of her videos, but not like this, and it was nothing like seeing it in person. Her breasts were small, but perky. Healthy. I can only imagine what her nipples- 

Shit. I felt it. My pants were getting tighter. The tip of my cock getting sensitive. I shifted my legs. Luckily, I was behind the counter, so Ashley couldn’t see I was pitching a tent. I saw her chauffeur walk up to the counter, empty handed. 

“I’m ready when you are.” said the driver, thumbing at the stickers we have up front. 

Ashley grabbed a sticker, a cute little raccoon asking for food. “Just these two items, please.” 

I scanned her rabbit door stop and her sticker and gave her the total. 

“Here you go!” she exclaimed, handing me perfect change. I bagged her items, and as she turned to leave, I took a leap of faith. 

“Wait, Ashley, could I get your number?” 

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind. Every single possibility ran through my mind. For most women, the worst they could say is no, but Ashley? She’s a firecracker, an atom bomb, if I really fucked this up, I’d be her inspiration for her next character. 

She looked at me, dead in the eyes. Was that a hint of green, or was it blue? I was so nervous I couldn’t tell. She took out a pad of paper and a pen and wrote something down, tore out the piece of paper and left without a word. 

I swalowed hard, and looked at the piece of paper.  

Numbers. All ten of them. I had to read it three times to make sure. Nope, no tripple fives. Maybe it really is her number. The area code was around here too, so it wasn’t CUM-FART. Worse case senario now is it’s the number for Panda Express. 

---END PART 2---
>>18784
She's not giving you cum farts? Wow, thats unexpected. I wouldn't call it, any number other than cum farts is probably a number to a tranny phone sex line. Tbh I probably would have burst if ashley so much as looked at me. Only because she reminds me of my little brother.
>>18784
>Shit. I felt it. My pants were getting tighter. The tip of my cock getting sensitive.
This happens to me too but only after I eat a lot of food
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I'm not a "nerdy nigga".  My stories are for entertainment purposes only.

                                           ------ VACATION -------

It was a long hard day at work and I was glad to finally be heading home. I pulled into my driveway, pressed the remote and my garage welcomed me with an open door. I parked the car in the garage closed the door and went upstairs.

  Ashley was at the kitchen counter making a salad side dish for our dinner. She was listening to Suite: Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby Stills Nash on the dated cassette player and moving her little butt to the music. Without turning she said, "Hi, Seab, how was your day?" I countered with, "It's fine now as I placed my tired arms around her warm,sensuous body. I kissed her gently on the top of her head and remarked that I liked the strawberry scent of her hair. She said that if I liked the scent of her hair that I should go lower for an even better scent. I spoke with the lowest voice I could muster and in my lowest voice I said, "I like the strawberry scent of your hair". This triggered her laugh reflex and she began laughing hysterically. She always got a kick out of my corny sense of humor.

  What's for dinner, I asked? Ash said that I should peek in the oven. I took a look and remarked that the two items looked delicious. She said that it's a pair of vegan pot pies. I told her that she'll make a vegan out of me yet. Ash said, "No, don't change, I love you just the way you are."

  We sat down to eat and I told her that after I finish the present job I'm working on that I'll have about a week between jobs and would she like to take a vacation. She displayed elation and said that it would be fun, a nice change of scenery. I said that we'll do anything that she wants to do. She mentioned that there was a quaint little town about three hours from here. It has steam locomotive rides, horse drawn carriage rides and numerous antique shops and second hand stores. I told her that it was a go.

  Vacation day finally came. I packed a bag while Ashley was making a new video. Hours passed and Ashley kept redoing the vid, She said that she had to keep redoing it because she wasn't satisfied with the results, perfectionist that she is. Finally at about 4PM, a late start that I wasn't entirely satisfied with, we were ready. I put the bag in my car trunk we got in the car and the Challenger started eagerly. I backed out of the driveway closing the garage door and we were on our way.

After driving about three hours my GPS told me that we were nearing the outskirts of the quaint little town that Ashley had suggested. I pulled off the county road, told Ashley that I wanted to gas up the Challenger. After gassing up and about to get back on the county road I spied an old dirt road and I pulled onto it. Ashley asked what I was doing. I told her that I was curious to see where the road led. Ashley gave me her patented smirk and a heavy sigh showing her displeasure. The old dirt road ended and the forest began. I told Ashley to get out, we'll take a walk in the forest and stretch our legs. Ashley said that it was getting dark and we shouldn't. I told her that we'll just take a short walk through the forest. We began walking, time passed, as it started getting darker. Ashley piped up and said that we're lost, aren't we. I admitted to her that yes we are. All the time as we walked we could hear the sound of twigs breaking and leaves crunching on the forest floor behind us. We turned to look behind us but saw nothing.

                         -----TO BE CONTINUED-----
Replies: >>18862 >>18992
>>18861
Well, partner, I gotta hand it to her. She really knows how to make a compliment. Heh.
I enjoyed this new adventure, SeaBee. Looking forward to the next part.
Also Ashley has removed the name field so I’ve been robbed of my identity as well. :) :(
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I was waiting for my doctor’s appointment for a surgery. I sat in the waiting room as the cute little secretary kept looking at me from behind his desk from time to time. She was on the phone. She was talking to someone. She was whispering to someone behind the phone. I could hear what she was saying things. 
“Yeah, he’s here. Crazy huh? I know! He’s the first. It’s up to him. He already signed it. And he’s paid in full. Dr. Goldberg said he doesn’t care. As long as he’s signed the consent decree.”

“Ms. Pfeiffer! Ms. Pfeiffer!” Said someone from behind the intercom.

“Look, I gotta go.” said the secretary as she hung up and pressed the intercom. “Yes, Dr. Goldberg?”

“I’m done with this patient. Send in the next goyim.”

“Right away.”

I saw a girl coming out of the room looking so pleased with herself. Or was she a boy now? Having received her gender affirming care. I thought physiology didn’t determine gender so how does this mastectomy confirm it? Who am I to judge and think. The girl took off her gown as she posed for a selfie with her purple hair, nose ring and freshly stitched up and reduced breasts. She looked kinda cute. Why did she do this to herself?

“Go right in” said the secretary.

I walked into the doctor’s office. The doctor was frying some latke in some oil.

“Come in, chaber.” He said still busy with the frying. “So you decided to do it then?”

I nodded my head.

“You realize you’ll die after I perform the operation? I mean we’re not even talking about a possibility. It’s certain death.”

“I know.” I said with determination.

“It’s really none of my business why you’re doing this or the morality of it. But I’ll follow your instructions after your death. I mean you’ve paid me for it.”

“Alright, I appreciate it.”

The doctor picked up the hot latkes with a pair of tongs and started eating.

“Lay on the operating table then.”

He called in his secretary and she came in preparing the instruments.
She injected the needle into my arm and slowly I started to pass out as everything darkened.

I was in my room fixing an old radio that I had found in an antique store when someone rang my bell. It was the postman with a big box.
“Ashley Jones?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Sign here, hon."

I signed and he left, leaving a box at my doorstep. I thought to myself that this box is gonna be in my next video. That night I prepared my Kodavision Cradle Series 2000 to film it. I spent a few minutes in front of the mirror to make sure I look good on the camera. I started recording, smiling at the camera.
I started talking "Hey, so today I was fixing this old radio that I had found and um... this guy rang my bell and it was the UPS. Some old guy with a big box, the one you see right here next to me." I said putting my hand on the box.

"Now, I'm sure you're as curious as I am to see what's inside the box. What's in the box?! What's in the fucking booox!" I said trying to impersonate Brad Pitt from the movie 7even. "Well, we're about to find out." I grabbed my box cutter and started cutting the tape. I said "Is it a head? A mailbomb from a fan? Maybe a dead animal from a secret admirer. Or maybe some anthrax from the CIA." I kinda got nervous as the jokes got darker. I opened the box and brought out this tightly sealed jar. When I brought it out and looked at it, I was almost petrified. I threw it to the ground and it rolled on the floor. I stopped recording. I didn't know what to do. I was shocked, disgusted and confused. My pugs ran towards it sniffing the glass and barking at it. What was it? Why did someone mail this to me? Was this some kind of sick joke? I looked in the box and found a letter. I put on my glasses and read it and found out what had just happened. I picked up the jar as it made me feel icky.

I placed it in front of the camera again and started recording "So, uh..." I puffed out air out of my mouth. "Lemme just read this." I put on my glasses again as I struggled to read this illegible cursive handwriting again.
"If you're reading this it means I'm dead. I asked a doctor to take this out and send it to your address because I didn't know what else to say to you. I thought this perhaps would send a clear message. The irony is that I won't be there to see how you feel about it. Sorry I couldn't do any better."
I took off my glasses again looking away as I phased out for a moment. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I said to the camera. "What purpose does this serve? You know people are on the brink of death waiting up to years for this? And you wasted it away like this? What the fuck am I gonna do with this? Put it on my fucking mantelpiece?"
I stopped recording. I took the jar and put it back in the box. I took out the film and thought about not posting it. I burnt the tape and the letter and pissed on its ashes. I took the box to the antiques guy and told him he could have it for free. He was more than happy to take it.

I was checking out the antique store with my FAGIT buddy, Barry when we saw a jar in the antique store. I shouldered my FAGIT and said "Whoa man, check this out. Illegal shit. You know we could swipe this and sell it on the darkweb. That shit is worth like a fucking fortune." So my buddy Barry put it up his manhole, you get me? We sold that shit to some schmuck for a fortune. It was our steal of the century.
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>>18861
                                                ------VACATION -------- Continues

 We arrived at a clearing in the forest and there was a large log cabin. I suggested that since it was dark that we ask the owner if we could spend the night and he could probably get us back to the old dirt road in the morning. 

  We walked up to the front door which was ajar. I knocked, opened the door all the way and shouted, "Hello,hello, anyone home?" but there was no reply. My hand searched for a light switch by the door, located it and turned on the light. The large cabin had an open floor plan so it was obvious that no one was home. Ashley and I stepped in and decided to make ourselves at home. I spied a crudely drawn map showing the way back to the old dirt road. I told Ashley that we could get a fresh start in the morning and we'd be in the quaint little town within 15 minutes.

 Ashley said that she was starving. I remarked that I doubted that the owner was a vegan. Ashley replied that at this point she didn't care, she was hungry. We opened the fridge and found some fixings to make a salad, hamburger patties and rolls and some cheese sticks. 

  We were eating dinner and started looking around. The cabin had a high ceiling and we surmised that the owner must be an artist, a weird one at that, since at the top of the wall which was about 15 feet high there were some paintings of the most hideous,  twisted, ugly and hellish looking creatures that one couldn't possibly imagine. It was very unnerving even more so that the creatures in the paintings seemed to be looking down at us. The artist really had some imagination I thought.

  After dinner we cleaned up the kitchen and I placed a $20 bill on the table to pay our way. Ashley and I decided to hit the hay since we were both beat. We laid on the bed and within minutes we were both asleep.

  We both woke up at the same time from the sun shining on our eyes. We squinted to see where the sunlight was coming from. What last night we thought were paintings of demonic creatures were actually......windows. Ashley and I jumped out of bed, hurriedly put on our shoes and I grabbed the cruedly drawn map and unlocked the front door and we ran out. I slammed the front door closed and noticed fresh claw marks on the outside of the door. Following the crudely drawn map we trotted for about 15 minutes and then I spotted my Challenger. It was like seeing an oasis in the middle of the desert. We got in the car safe at last.

                                                         ---- EPILOGUE -------

 Ashley looked at me quite shaken and out of breath and said, "Seabee, I want to go home." I said to her that she didn't have to ask a second time. I put the key in the ignition turned it and.......nothing. At the same time I heard the door locks click and saw the door lock knobs retract to the door locked mode. The car began filling with the most ungodly, noxious odor and at the same time we heard a loud scratching sound coming from the trunk. I heard Ashley scream and then, oh no.........

                                                    ----- THE END ------
Replies: >>18994 >>19013
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>>18992
That’s it?! That’s the story? What happened next?
All the same enjoyed it SeaBee.
I don’t look for conclusions and certainties in stories anymore. I think it’s better when it’s left to the reader to come up with their own conclusions.
Well done!
Replies: >>18998 >>19013
You've been awfully quiet Seabs.
What's eating ya?
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>>18994
 Your pic reminds me of a kiddy show I used to watch when I was a kid. It was kinda scary.

Glad you enjoyed my "nerdy nigga " story. Yea, I like to sometimes leave it to the imagination of the reader, like the story I once wrote on 8ch or Endchan, I forget. It was entitled The Lady Or The Tiger with Ashley as the protagonist.
Replies: >>18999
>>18998
>Your pic reminds me of a kiddy show I used to watch when I was a kid. It was kinda scary.
The pic is from SpongeBob. This is Patchy the Pirate played by Tom Kenny the voice of SpongeBob.
I'm not familiar with the show you're referring to but I know kids shows in those days were eerie sometimes. Hey at least there was no indoctrination involved! Heh.

>Glad you enjoyed my "nerdy nigga " story. 
Oh, by no means did I mean that you were the "nerdy nigga", sir. I think of you as perhaps the coolest guy on the board, Honest Injun. I took offense at Ashley using that term, but then again I saw how she sometimes like to pull our chains and goad us, so I thought I'd embrace the term just for the sake of irony.

>like the story I once wrote on 8ch or Endchan, I forget. It was entitled The Lady Or The Tiger with Ashley as the protagonist.
Why not post the story here if you find it? I'm always first in line to read your stories.

BTW, I'll be posting the 4th chapter of my vampire story later today. It has taken a slower pace but I just hope it fares well.
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>>18999
>I took offense at Ashley using that term
>>18992
>>18994
I was going to say the ambiguous ending is what I liked the best out of that story. 

Seabs (thats your new nickname now), do you own a Dodge Challenger or is it just your favourite car?
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>>19010
The nigga in the ai image looks grotesque. Why does ai have to look so creepy sometimes? I haven’t gotten a clear answer yet. I think it’s ai letting us know not to mess with it too much.
Replies: >>19032
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>>19008
>>19010
Enjoyed your part IV immensely but I confess I had one eye on your interesting story and the other eye on the Super Bowl. I have a feeling that the proverbial shit is due to hit the fan re: your story.

I wouldn't even attempt find my story, The Lady Or The Tiger, even if my life depended on it but I'll try to remember it from memory and post it one day. When I did post it way back when I included a caveat that it was taken from a short story I read in my high school English Literature class by Frank Stockton. I added my own twists to it but still I didn't want anyone to accuse me of plagiarism. It was a really cool story.
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>>19013
Yea, I do own a 2009 Dodge Challenger, Hemi with a 6 speed standard transmission. I bought it used when I got out of the military in 2014. It was very low mileage and looked brand new and is still running like a champ. Ever since I was a kid I always for some reason liked Mopars.

As far as calling me Seabs, that's a nick Ashley used when she would e mail me. So check with her if it's OK to use, she may have a patent on it, heh, heh.
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>>19018
>Yea, I do own a 2009 Dodge Challenger, Hemi with a 6 speed standard transmission.
noice! 
Im not a car guy, but I really like the car from Death Proof

>As far as calling me Seabs, that's a nick Ashley used when she would e mail me
oh ok, well it feels kinda gay for me to call you that now, so I will just keep calling you Seabee
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>>19016
How you describe your prompt to the ai is very important. I specifically wanted him to look creepy. Did you bother to read why he looks like that?
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>>19032
>Did you bother to read why he looks like that?
no tbh
Replies: >>19037
>>19035
S'all good, man
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>>19028
You have good taste. That car is a 1968 -1970 chevy Nova, a very cool looking car and a very popular car for car guys to just keep it stock or to mod it by bringing it up to date with 4 wheel disc brakes, rack and pinion steering, more powerful engine  improving the suspension, etc.
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>>18784
When I got home and settled in, I stared at my phone, building the courage to give Ashley a call. My hands were shaking, I took a sip of whiskey to try to calm my nerves, before dialing the number. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

I could hear the sound bouncing around in my skull. Just as the call went to voicemail, I heard a familiar voice. 

“Hello?! Still there?” 

“A-Ashley! It’s me, Anon.” 

“Oh, hey Anon! Glad you called!” 

“Really? I mean me too...” 

Fuck. What was wrong with me? She gave me her number, why am I so nervous? I swigged a little more whiskey. 

“I was curious if you were busy this weekend?” I continued. 

“Nope! Nothing planned, but I got a cool spot I want to check out with you, got a pen and paper?” 

“Oh, uh yeah, go ahead...” 

“Alright, write this down: North thirty-seven degrees, thirty-three minutes and fifty point seventeen seconds. West one hundred and sixteen degrees, fifty-one minutes and four point four two eight seconds.” 

Coordinates? What the fuck is she giving me coordinates for? I thought maybe she wanted to go to an arcade or something, but this?” 

“Ashley, what is this?” 

I suddenly heard a crash on the other end of the line. “Oh shit, sorry Anon, I got to go. See you tomorrow around 1 o’clock!” 

CLICK. 

I put the phone down and stared at the coordinates. Something was up, but I wasn’t about to pussy out. I didn't have a lot to go on, so I looked up the coordinates. She must have given me the wrong coordinates. This place is six hours north, and it’s nothing but trees. I picked up the phone and called her back. 

WE’RE SORRY. THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED. PLEASE CHECK THE NUMBER AND TRY AGAIN. 

Well, shit. Now I know something is up, but I’m too damn curious what’s out there. I started packing my bag. Warm clothes, flint and steel, compass, map, beef jerky and all the essentials. I showered and shaved before heading to bed. It was going to be a long day. 

The next morning, I threw my bag in the trunk and started my drive. First it began to rain, then it began to snow. My car wasn’t made for this kind of weather, I began to get nervous. I stepped on it, pedal to the metal. I knew I had to get there before the roads were completely covered. I pulled up to the end of the road, and the map still says I have 5 miles to go. Fuck, guess I’m hoofing it. 

I began hiking, every minute that passed the snowfall got heavier. The glass in my compass kept fogging up, and the ink on my map was beginning to run. I should have laminated it. I ditched the map and scanned my surroundings. The snow wasn’t as heavy, but I could feel the wind freezing my eyes. What’s that? In the distance... it looked like a red coat. 

---END PART 3---
Replies: >>19098 >>19345
>>19089
>North thirty-seven degrees, thirty-three minutes and fifty point seventeen seconds. West one hundred and sixteen degrees, fifty-one minutes and four point four two eight seconds.
Is that in Asscrack, Nevada? Or did u just make it up?
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>>19098
zoom in...
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>>19101
All I saw was a big lot of nothing in the middle of the Mojave Desert. Also the coordinate in the paper does not match with the one in the text. Could you send the coordinates here? I'm too curious.
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>>19102
shit you're right

N 37° 33' 50.17"
W 116° 51' 4.428'
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It was raining cats and dogs
Black SUVs with their sirens killing the silence of the night drove recklessly on the rainy streets with little care for the pedestrians and the traffic.
They all arrived in a quiet neighborhood and surrounded a certain house. Agents in black uniforms, sunglasses and ties came out of their vehicles, taking cover behind their bulletproof doors and pointing their machine guns at an ordinary house.
Their chief, a much older man with gray hair and a mustache by the name of Agent Harris grabbed a megaphone and started speaking.
“We’ve got the place surrounded.”
He put the megaphone down speaking to his subordinate “You sure the place has no back entrance?”
“Yes, sir.” said the agent reassuring
Chief Harris raised the megaphone to his mouth again and said “Ashley Jones, there’s no escape. Deactivate your improvised explosive traps that you’ve set.”
The young agent interrupted again. “Sir, our analysts have said that the traps are a bluff to hold us at bay.”
“Yeah?” Said agent Harris. “Send team Alpha in then.”
Team alpha with their machine guns at the ready entered the housing premises, but not before a round cylindrical object jumped 3 feet high from under the ground and exploded to hundreds of small pieces hitting every inch of the agents as they fell to the ground in agony, bleeding to death.
Agent Harris looked at his subordinate and said “Make sure to remind me that I mention the team analysts for commendation.”
Agent Harris spoke in the megaphone again “Ashley Jones, we can play it your way all night.”
“Sir, we can’t afford to play it her way. By her own admission, she’s placed over 50 lethal booby traps inside and outside her residence.”
Agent Harris said “Well, Murphy I’m open to suggestions.”
“Sir, she’s said she’ll speak to one person only.”
“Who?”
As Agent Murphy briefed Agent Harris on the file they had gathered on Ashley, they decided to go with Plan B, and call in the expert.
In less than an hour a black hawk helicopter was getting close to the premises. Ashley was checking out the premises of her house with the little cameras she had placed everywhere. Her little heart began to race.
As the helicopter landed, a blonde muscular man got off the helicopter. He was in his late 30s and armed to the teeth, carrying a golden Desert Eagle on his hip and a SPAS-12 shotgun on his back. You could feel that he likes to keep his fights close and personal. He was wearing a radiation symbol belt buckle and a red tank top and over the tank top two bullet belts with shotgun shells. He seemed reckless and bold.
He approached Agent Harris walking with swagger towards him and grabbed the megaphone from him almost throwing him off his feet.
He put the megaphone before his mouth and in his booming voice said “Ashley Jones. This is the Duke speaking. I was brought here by the government cutting my Miami vacation short. I’m coming in. I know you can see me. I’m handing over my guns to the G-man here. If you accept those terms then flicker your light switch.”
Ashley flickered her light switch so quickly her fingers began to hurt.
“I’m going in.” said the Duke as he walked so swiftly towards the main entrance passing by the dying agents. He banged his fist against the door and said “You’re gonna open this door or are you just gonna leave me out here all night?”
A series of locks, chains and bolts were heard. The door’s handle was turned from the inside. The Duke walked in the dark as there was no one at the doorstep to greet her.
“That’s far enough.” said a female voice in the dark.
“Hey, don’t be a hard-ass. I thought you were a smartass.”
The girl giggled in the dark. “I’m being serious now.”
“You know there are three federal agents lying dead at your front door? Now that’s not nice. The garbageman is gonna strain his back to put them in the garbage truck.”
“Those feds had it coming.” Said the girl. The girl turned on the lights.
The Duke shut the door and said “Hey, you’re just a little girl.”
“And you’re just a big oaf.” Said Ashley.
“My name’s Duke.” said the Duke reaching his hand towards Ashley who was standing a few feet away from him.
“I’m Ashley.” Said Ashley as he grabbed Duke’s large hand.
“That’s right. Ashley Jones. I know all about you.”
“Well, color me surprised. Everyone knows all about you, Duke.” said Ashley.
“Ashley, are you gonna come with me out of the house so we could continue this somewhere else.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Said Ashley. “They’re gonna kill me first chance they get.”
“Now, why would they do that to a sweet little thing like you?”
“I already know too much. I’ve hacked into personal and government computers, exposing everyone. The President, his son, their buddies and the rest of the dirtbags who run this shitshow.”
“Well, lemme just say I’m glad I delete my browsing history every night.” Said the Duke.
Ashley laughed at his remarks and Duke chuckled.
Ashley continued “Those agents out there. They’re not human.”
“That’s kinda harsh of you to say.”
“No.” said Ashley shaking her head. “They’re literally not humans.”
Ashley brought out a pair of sunglasses and gave them to Duke. He put them on quickly switching them with his own.
“Look out that window.” She said.
“My God! You’re right. Can I have these?” He said pointing to his face.
“Sure.” Ashley nodded.
Duke brought out a pair of handcuffs and said “I’m still taking you in.”
In less than five minutes, the Duke walked out of Ashley’s house. Ashley’s hands were cuffed behind her.
Agent Harris shouted “Hold you fire, men. Hold your fire! Target has been apprehended. I repeat: Target has been apprehended.”
 The agents lowered their weapons and started cheering for the Duke in the rain.
“Hail to the king, baby.” Said Duke to the crowd.
As they approached Agent Harris, he grabbed Duke’s hand and said “Excellent work, Nukem. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Hey, the Duke abides, pops. Can I have my gear back?” asked Duke.
“Sure, it’s right here.” Harris ordered Murphy to return Duke’s weapons to him. Duke cracked his knuckles and his neck, put his shotgun on his back and press checked his sidearm, seeing the shiny cartridge’s brass in the chamber. The Duke turned to Ashley, lowered his sunglasses and winked at her.
“Poor kid’s delusional.” He said to Harris “I promised her I’d see her some time for conjugal visits at Bedford Hills.”
Agent Harris chuckled and wanted to say something about having to talk to the district attorney about it, but not before Duke put his big fucking gun against Harris’s head and blew his brains out. Agent Murphy was in shock as he tried to clean the brain and skull particles off his face, but not before Duke grabbed the MP5 off Murphy, kicked him hard in the chest and then put one between his eyes. The Duke threw the machine gun at Ashley and said “Think fast, baby!” Ashley quickly dropped the handcuffs that had barely restrained her and grabbed the MP5 and started shooting at the three agents around her and then took cover behind an SUV. The few remaining agents tried to corner Duke and Ashley as they stood on the side of the SUVs. Duke fired a few rounds at the agents’ direction but soon realized his sidearm is empty so he holstered it and switched to his shotgun as he left his cover walking in steady steps shooting his way towards the hiding agents. Ashley tightened the attack on them by forming a pincer as she started shooting from the other side. Soon they had decorated the SUVs with guts of the agents and bullet scratches.
Ashley dropped the machine gun and tried to catch her breath with her hands on her knees. The Duke brought out a cigar, lit it with a match and said “You did real good, kiddo. I’m proud of you. Hey, thanks again for opening my eyes.” He said pointing to his sunglasses. As it turned out the sunglasses weren’t ordinary ones as they showed the true faces of imposter aliens masquerading as humans.
“There’s more of these a-holes, isn’t there?” asked the Duke.
Ashley nodded “Perhaps millions.”
Replies: >>19107
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>>19106
“Well, baby. I’m here to kick ass and chew bubblegum but I’m all outta gum. C’mon let’s go.” Ashley went back to her house to get her pugs as Duke took former Agent Harris’s car which was still in pretty good shape and Ashley sat by his side.
“Where to now?” Asked Duke.
“Maryland” said Ashley “NSA headquarters.”
“The Duke puffed away at his cigar as he looked up the best route to Maryland.
As Duke was driving on the highway for a few minutes he  put out his cigar with a last smokey exhale, took a look at Ashley and said “It’s a long way to Maryland, how bout some music?”
Duke turned on the radio and the song playing on it was Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. As the song played on and the light from the highway kept reflecting in his shades and lighting the car in the dark for a brief moment, Ashley rested her head on Duke’s shoulder. The Duke turned his head and gave her a crooked smile. Their eyes locked and they shared a small gentle kiss. Ashley’s heart raced again as she felt the strong muscular arm, and comforting warmth of Duke’s presence. Soon their little kisses became more rapid and intense. Ashley couldn’t get enough of the Duke. The Duke grabbed Ashley and put her in his lap. Ashley freaked out and said “Shi, we’re gonna crash.”
The Duke laughed and said “It’s been on autopilot since I adjusted the destination. Courtesy of autistic Martian boy, Elon Musk.”
Ashley laughed as she became calm again, kissing Duke on the neck sucking on his veins. She could feel his bulge between her legs. It almost felt like a sitting on a metal barrister. The Duke moved his cock intriguing Ashley and welcoming her to an intense experience. Ashley laughed as she opened the Duke’s fly. She lowered her pants and exposing her panties, as she began rubbing her pussy against the Duke’s bulging cannon. She couldn’t catch her breath from the excitement she felt. The Duke held her sides, making her feel safe in his big arms. Ashley kept on moving her pussy on his cock as it was getting wet and swollen. She pulled the middle of her panties aside and gently welcomed the big member of Duke inside her. She felt the pain since she was so small and Duke was huge. But she enjoyed it even more because of the pain. The Duke didn’t want to rush things. She let Ashley take her time as he observed her intimacy and enjoyed it. Soon Ashley was moving herself gently back and forth as she felt euphoric. Her motion became deeper and faster as she was reaching climax. Duke helped her to push faster and further as she wanted to go on but she was almost passing out as she moaned and moaned. Her passionate moans were driving the Duke crazy. Soon the Duke busted his load inside Ashley as he took a loud sigh of relief and she started shaking in his arms and passing out on his chest. The Duke felt her weak breathing on his chest hairs. He caressed her hair and said “Hail to the king, baby!”
TO BE CONTINUED…?
Replies: >>19119 >>19133
>>19103
Whoa! Nice.
I look forward to the next part of your story and perhaps we'd know its significance.
Listen , ah, wife's 👩 going 💃 out tonight 🌃 , I'm gonna have the guys 👬 over, we're gonna watch ⌚ the Fish 🐠🎣 on the big screen 📺 , I'm gonna grill 🍳up some brats 👦👧, I got a microbrew 🍻 chilling ❄ in my wet 💦 bar 🍫 , and, uh, I was gonna warm ♨ up 👆 some ziti 🍝. Why don't you come by if you got some triple 3⃣ fried 🍟 pizza 🍕 dough, or some kind of frozen ❄ meat 🍖 balls 🎱or whatever 👐it is, you can warm ♨ it up in my microwave 📺 or you can warm ♨ it up back at home 🏡 , bring it over pipin' hot 🔥 , but if you wanna bring over a vegetable 🌾🌿🌱 medley, a crudité, figure  👾out 📤 how much lunch 🍲meat 🍖 you can spare 🗡 , maybe bring over a pound 💷 and a half, two ✌️ pounds 💷 of Black Forest 🌲 ham 🐖 , maybe a Dijon 🍯 mustard spread?
Any kind of dessert 🍰 , maybe a German 👱chocolate 🍫 cake 🎂 or something like that? I tell ya what would make you a big hit 👏 with the dudes is get some key 🗝 lime 🍋 pie 🍰 , à la mode, I'm talking about ice cream 🍨 on the side⬅.
And you have got to have a bite of my homemade 🏡 ziti 🍝 , I'm just gonna warm ♨ her up, she's been in the freeze ❄.
You know what I love are those hot 🔥 mozzarella 🧀 sticks, cube 🔃 'em up 👆 , put 'em in some marinara ⚓ sauce 🍲, you have them on standby 🏧. 'Course, you can't go wrong with some sour 😐 cream 💦 and onion 🌰 so long as you bring RIDGED Chips 🍟
Replies: >>19119 >>19138
>>19107
>Duke driving the wrong way 
literally me rn as I read that story and the blood rushed from head to my XMPeePee and i pass out and crash head on into oncoming traffic

>>19113
🔥 🔥 🔥 💯 💯 💯 💯
Replies: >>19150
>>19107
The music with the story was a great touch and I hope people steal that idea, it makes it more immersive. Unique premise, I notice the They Live reference. Only one nitpick, if they're going after the NSA then Duke probably wouldn't use invasive technology like self-driving cars or GPS. But we can pretend that in this world, self driving cars don't harvest data or enable harmful practices, and that GPS isn't invasive. Also kek at the image, Duke is self-driving them into the middle of oncoming traffic, he's got post nut depression and wants to end it all.
Replies: >>19136 >>19150
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>>19133
I just saw this on the news. People in California are setting self driving cars on fire. Some traffic lights got stuck on red and the cars are programed to stop on red so the self driving cars are blocking the roads, heh, heh.
Replies: >>19137 >>19139
>>19136
I hadn't thought about that, but yeah sometimes when the lights are out they flash yellow. You're supposed to treat it light a four way stop.
>>19113
I sincerely applaud you for the effort this post took to create. I can't stand it when people have to accentuate everything they say with emojis. Fortunately I don't encounter it very often because I don't use social media nor communicate with disgusting normies.
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>>19136
Ah yes, "people" in California love to set cars on fire at any given opportunity.
Replies: >>19143
>>19139
It's always the people wearing... purple.
Replies: >>19144
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>>19143
Well, can you blame them? You'd be a little unhinged too if you had to deal with the same kinds of problems they face each and every day. Webm related. When's the last time someone tried to steal from you like this, you cracker ass honkey?
Replies: >>19145
>>19144
Is it true this guy died?
Replies: >>19146 >>19148
>>19145
I'm still here.
Replies: >>19147
>>19146
Oh shit. Good thing I'm behind a computer or else you'd eat me next.
>>19145
Sadly, yes. I heard he was seriously injured while trying to steal the funk out of Lawrence Fishburne's daughter's ass, and there wasn't a doctor small enough to save him.
Replies: >>19149
>>19148
Jesus Christ I can't stop laughing at this retarded shit.
>>19119
I hope you enjoyed it, anon.
I realized I should try something different, but also good and I hope I’ve achieved just that.

>>19133
Cheers anon
>I notice the They Live reference.
Yep. They live. That’s basically Duke Nukem for me. Handsome muscular blonde guy takes on the alien invasion and consumerist indoctrination by them. That movie kicked ass.
>Only one nitpick, if they're going after the NSA then Duke probably wouldn't use invasive technology like self-driving cars or GPS.
Fair point. Let’s just say the Duke likes boning more than anything else but I’ll certainly fix that in the next part (If I ever write it. It’s hard to put an action genre on paper.) How else was he supposed to bone Ashley behind the wheel. I mean Ashley could’ve gone down on him, but on a first encounter serious sam reference :P it ain’t romantic.
>Also kek at the image, Duke is self-driving them into the middle of oncoming traffic.
Heh. That’s the best image the AI would give me. I made about ten images for this and this is the best I got.
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I'm worn from the pain and aches
Like a drunk this wretched soul shakes

You told me to keep up my chin
To feel like this, it has always been
to cast a doubt you said is a sin
As you fed this old soul your gin

As I drank it from your bosom of love
You and me felt like a hand in a glove

I miss your scent never have been smelt
I miss your touch never have been felt
I miss your cusses that are always spelt 
I miss your love never have been dealt
>>19253
Unironically the most erotic story in this thread.
Replies: >>19263
>>19254
>deleted 
What was it about anon? 
did you bustah nut to it?
Replies: >>19265
>>19263
All I remember was something about titties.
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                                                        ---- THE EVENT------
                                                               PART ONE

It was bound to happen, some said that it was destined to happen. The liberal pregressive government took total control of the populace, the event. It even made a point of burning the U.S. Constitution on public television. It was a silent coup, not a shot fired. It was all done through election skulduggery, something the pregressives were good at.

  Where were our patriots, the men who before the coup were always mouthing the words of Thomas Jefferson,
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Or sometimes saying, "The government can have my gun when it can pry it out of my cold dead hand." Just words, these 
"patriots" folded like a cheap suit and became the boot lickers of the new progressive government with the house niggers doing the government's bidding. The age old tool of government, divide and conquer, black against white.

  Money was confiscated, no more anonymous cash use. And forget about Bitcoin or Monero, the internet became available only to those in high power. Bartering was outlawed and anyone caught was arrested, never to be heard from again.

  The new government issued government credit cards. Every hour you worked would get you a certain amount 
of credits to your government credit card. No more anonymity, the government knew every purchase you made
and the card was scanned every week to reveal what you were purchasing. If the government didn't like what you were purchasing or thought you were purchasing too much of one thing your card was shut down and you were toast.

  I just had to get away, find a place to be by myself without the government breathing down my neck. I grabbed my bug out bag full of essentials and my M1 Carbine which I had hid before it became illegal to own ammo or a firearm.

  I walked for what seemed to be days and came across an abandoned little town laid waste by the new government. It had a few small supermarkets with can goods still on the shelf. At least I won't go hungry. I walked to the end of town and spotted a little house which seemed perfect for me to be by myself. The front door was unlocked and I quietly and cautiously entered. It was warm inside telling me that the electric was still on. The aroma of food being cooked filled my nose. I slowly and quietly followed the aroma to the kitchen. There was a petite girl with her back to me cooking over the stove. I quietly crept up behind her and without turning she said,"How do you like your steak?"  She turned to look at me. She had to be the cutest girl I had ever been privileged to meet with the most amazing, beautiful, large and expressive hazel/green eyes.

  I introduced myself. I'm Bill, my friends call me Seabee. She smirked and said, "I'm Ashley, but you can call me Ashley."  Heh, a comedian, a cute one at that I thought. I asked if she lived here and she said, "I do now".
I asked if this was her house and she said, "It is now" kind of sarcastically. She reiterated, "How do you like your steak, a minute ago it was medium rare and now it's mediam, keep talking and it will be well done."  I said that I'll take it medium. She removed it from the stove and precisely cut it in half and gave me half. She took some fries from the oven and put some on our plates and we sat down to eat.

  We exchanged our reasons for leaving the faux security of the new progressive government and decided that we were of like mind. I mentioned that I had an M1 Carbine and plenty of ammo. I told her that I knew that I couldn't defeat the new government but I could sure harass it and their house niggers. Ashley got up and walked over to a closet which showed an AR15 and a 1911 holstered side arm and plenty of ammo. She looked at me quite seriously and said, "Let's harass."

                                ------- TO BE CONTINUED-------
Replies: >>19365 >>19410
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>>19089
I squinted through the flurry of snow, trying to make out the figure in the distance. A red coat, standing out vividly against the white landscape. My heart pounded in my chest as I trudged forward, the crunch of snow under my boots the only sound in the desolate wilderness. 

With each step, the figure grew clearer. It was a person, standing perfectly still amidst the swirling snow. Anxiety gnawed at my gut. Was it Ashley? What was she doing out here? 

"Hello?" I called out, my voice barely audible over the howling wind. No response. I quickened my pace, driven by a mix of concern and adrenaline. 

As I approached, I realized it wasn't Ashley. The figure was a man, clad in a tattered red coat that billowed in the wind. His face was obscured by the hood, and he stood motionless like a sentinel in the midst of the storm. 

"Hey!" I shouted, my voice echoing into the wilderness. "Are you okay?" 

Still no response. I hesitated, unsure of what to do. Should I approach him? Was he lost like me? Or was he dangerous?  

Before I could make a decision, the man suddenly turned and vanished into the snow, leaving me standing alone in the cold, bewildered and unnerved. 

I shook off the unease that gripped me and pressed on, determined to reach the coordinates Ashley had given me. With each step, the snow seemed to grow deeper, the landscape more unforgiving. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I stumbled upon a clearing. In the center stood a dilapidated cabin, its walls weathered and worn by years of neglect. Smoke billowed from the chimney, a thin wisp against the backdrop of the storm. 

My heart raced as I approached the cabin, unsure of what I would find inside. But one thing was certain: whatever awaited me, it would be the culmination of my journey, a test of courage and curiosity in the face of the unknown. 

---END PART 4---
Replies: >>19350 >>19404
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>>19345
I approached the door of the cabin, pausing uncertainly as I shook snow off of my coat and out of my hair. Should I knock, or just go in? Either way, I knew I had to get into that cabin, and I'd probably be there for a good while. The growing storm whipped yet another angry gust through my chilled body as I doubted whether or not I could even find my way back to the car.

I tried the doorknob, and it turned. I rapped the door with my knuckles as I peeked inside.

"Hello?" I called. "Is anyone in here?"

"Come in," a voice said. "I've been waiting for you."

I hesitated. That voice definitely wasn't Ashley's. It was the gruff baritone of a man at least a decade or two my senior.

The wind blew again, its icy tendrils reaching for my bones. I had no choice.

I stepped into the cabin and closed the door behind myself, leaving the howling snowstorm blissfully behind me. It was suprisingly clean inside, despite its outward appearance. A crackling fire glowed merrily in a stone hearth, and sitting on a plush, deep-cushioned sofa in front of it was my mysterious host: the man in a red coat, which he still wore despite the comfortable temperature.

"Uh, hi there," I said, awkwardly stamping my feet on a muddied entry mat. "I'm supposed to meet a friend out here, that's why I'm here," I said, my voice quavering a bit more than I'd have liked. Probably just the cold, I told myself.

"Oh, and you have, my boy," the man said as he rose, his face still obscured in the cowl of that damnable hood.

"Do... do you know Ashley? Ashley Jones?" I asked, pulling off my sodden gloves.

My answer came in the form of laughter. Low at first, rumbling in this great bear of a man's chest before it tumbled out of his mouth in a cackle.

"Know her?" He said between bouts of mirth. "Yes, yes. I know her."

He turned to me and pulled back his hood. He was younger than I thought; pudgier, too. He was perhaps thirty, the stubble of a five o'clock shadow left untended on his plump face for too many days, and what appeared to be a bright red clown's nose firmly attached to his own. Even stranger than the clown's nose -- if you can believe it -- was the look in his eyes: an unmistable hunger.

"Oh," I said. "That's great... where is she?"

The strange man erupted in laughter again. "She's right here! I am her."

I frowned at the statement, and then I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. This strange man was clearly insane. And much, much larger than me. I would rather take my chances in the snow.

"I'm sorry," I said as I spun on my heels, "I have the wrong address. I have to go."

I grasped the doorknob in my hand and turned.

It wouldn't budge.

"H-hey," I said, panic rising in my throat. "What's with this thing?"

I turned around only to find the man inches away from me. He slammed his meaty hands against the door to either side of my head, and I smelled hot, stale breath in my face.

"I am her," he said again through a crooked smile. "I am her," he repeated.

"I have to leave," I stammered, fumbling through my pockets for my cell phone, my mind and heart racing. I had to get out of this place. Why had I come? Why had I been lead here?

"I know why you came here. What you want." the man grunted into my face.

"N-no, I-I..."

The great beast of a man grabbed my throat. His grip was like a vice. I felt a wet warmth running down my leg. I had never been so afraid in my life. If I survive this, if I can just get out, I swear that I'll never--

Red. A dark, totally enveloping, smothering redness took me by surprise. Then pain--lots of pain. The man had struck me in the face with his other fist. Somewhere in my mind I was able to sense loosened teeth and blood running down my chin.

He lifted me by the neck and spun me around. He threw me across the room and I landed near the fire. I struggled to retain my consciousness, desperately looking for a way out of this nightmare.

"I am her!" the clown-nosed man screamed as he towered over me. He knelt, and I felt those big hands pawing at my clothing. My belt buckle, and then my pants.

"I. Am. Her."

"N-no! Please! Oh god!"

It sounded like someone else's voice screaming. But it was me. This was happening to me. I ripped a fingernail off as I tried to pull myself along the old wooden boards of the floor. To escape.

But I knew there was no escape the moment I felt his dick enter my butthole.

---END PART 5---
>>19350
This is not how I expected part 5 to go. This has rapidly evolved into a horror/SVU crossover.
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>>19322
SeaBee and Ash against the World.
That I really enjoyed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I hinted a little inspiration from the Turner Diaries.
Looking forward to the next chapter, SeaBee.
Replies: >>19402
>>19350
I literally said "Oof!" as I finished Part V
Where is this story headed?!
It was very well written, the suspense and the horror was very well executed. I was really intrigued and concentrated as I was reading the second half of this chapter.
Well done!
>>19350
2/10 fan fiction. 

Why do faggots feel the need to insert their fag shit into everything?
Replies: >>19373
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>>19350
finally some LB rape fan fiction
>>19370
Yeah, like the victim
I AM HER
>>19350
retards stealing my story

the real Part 5 will be out tonight.
>>19377
Fuck! Really?
Can you prove it?
Ashley Jones will you stop being a C-word and return the name field?
>>19377
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>>19379
please no, the board has been noticeably better without you egomaniac namefags shitting up every thread
Replies: >>19382 >>19400
>>19381
I would limit it to this thread only.
Replies: >>19383
>>19382
I don't think that's how it works
>>19379
Newfag
>>19377
That was pretty funny
Gay
I. AM. GAY.
Replies: >>19397
>>19393
Prove it, post cock
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>>19381
This thread rn.
Replies: >>19414
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>>19365
You are correct, sir. Although my story is original there is an "inspiration" from The Turner Diaries that subtley weaves its way through my episodes. I take it you have read The Turner Diaries, it's a good read.
Replies: >>19403
>>19402
Believe it or not, SeaBee, it’s me Hans. I should probably think of using an image like a badge of identity the way you do. Heh. We’ve discussed the Turner Diaries in the book thread before. How the “Feds wrote down your license plate as you had parked by the crack den to pick up your book”? That was a good one.
Replies: >>19411 >>19414
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>>19345
As I cautiously approached the cabin, a sense of foreboding gripped me. The smoke curling from the chimney seemed ominous now, a warning rather than a welcome. But I couldn't turn back, not after coming this far. 

I pushed open the creaking door and stepped inside. The interior was dark and musty, lit only by the dim glow of a dying fire. Furniture lay scattered about, covered in dust and cobwebs. It felt like stepping into a forgotten nightmare. 

"Hello?" I called out, my voice echoing hollowly through the empty space. No response. My heart pounded in my chest as I crept further into the cabin, my senses on high alert. 

That's when I saw her. Ashley, standing in the center of the room, her expression unreadable. Relief flooded through me as I approached her, but it was short-lived. 

Before I could speak, she raised a hand to silence me. "You shouldn't have come," she said, her voice cold and devoid of emotion. 

Confusion clouded my mind as I tried to make sense of her words. "What do you mean?" 

Ashley's lips curled into a chilling smile as she stepped closer, the dim light casting eerie shadows across her face. "You were never meant to find me," she said, her tone sending shivers down my spine. 

I stumbled backward, my heart pounding in my chest. "What are you saying? What's going on?" 

But Ashley didn't answer. Instead, she gestured to the man standing in the shadows behind her, his red coat blending into the darkness like a wraith. 

"Meet our target," she said, her voice dripping with malice. "You were just a pawn in our game." 

Fear gripped me as I realized the truth. I had been lured here, tricked into walking into a trap. And now, there was no escape. 

Before I could react, the man lunged forward, his knife glinting in the dim light. I recognized him instantly - Duke Nukem. I tried to dodge, but it was futile. Pain exploded in my chest as his blade found its mark, and darkness consumed me as I crumpled to the floor. 

As my vision faded and my strength ebbed away, one thought burned bright in my mind: 

I had been betrayed by the one person I trusted most. 

And then, there was nothing but darkness.

---THE END---

(epilogue in the works)
>>19404
I liked the ass rape ending better. Jk. Didn’t expect this ending either. Somehow I doubt this one is by the OP as well. Kinda sus. Because it doesn’t make much sense. Maybe that’s just me. IDK.
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>>19322

                                     ------THE EVENT-------
                                                PART  2

The weather began to warm up. Ashley and I had a routine, a leisurely breakfast and then a walk through the serene countryside. We found ourselves becoming more and more attracted to each other. I especially loved her charismatic personality and her goofy and offbeat sense of humor. What she loved about me, well, you'll have to ask her.

  Whenever we went for walks we always carried our weapons. One morning we were walking and came upon an area where we could look down and observe a small community of homes. All of a sudden a government truck and car arrived at the little community and some government house niggers jumped out and started pulling people out of their homes. The house niggers started punching and kicking men, women and yes, even children. Ashley and I became incensed. Ashley said, "Lock and load" We set up a field of fire. We picked a central point below. Every target to the right of the central point would be Ashley's and every target to the left of the central point would be mine. This was to avoid wasting ammo on duplicate shots. We took careful aim and began firing. Before long government house niggers were dead niggers. The citizens below loaded them in the truck and drove the bodies away. Ashley and I high fived each other and went to our favorite spot to feed the ducks.

  We returned home for lunch and turned on the TV. The government station mentioned that a truck load of government "saviors" was found dead and every effort would be made to locate and punish the insurrectionists which were becoming a danger to the peoples government. Ashley and I looked at each other and simultaneously said, "OOOOOO, I'm so scared" and we began laughing hysterically. I kept a thought in the back of my mind though, not to be too cocky, When  you get cocky you get careless and make mistakes. I felt that I should tell Ashley my thought  but I didn't want to ruin the moment for her. 

  By this tme Ashley and I were sleeping together. Usually when people constantly make love to each other it eventually becomes boring but not so with us. Every time would always feel like the first time.

  One evening we were watching government TV and some government lacky mentioned that the Vice President would be making an appearance in about a week in a city not far from us. Ashley and I decided to take a hike to the city and check out the locale. The next morning we arrived at the city where the V.P. would be speaking. We could see a platform being set up so it was going to be an outdoor speaking affair. We planned our assassination very carefully, like where we would insert ourselves and after the assassination where and how we would extract ourselves without looking suspicious. When we arrived back home we went over our plan and then we went over it again and then again so as not to make a mistake.

  We knew we had to breakdown one of the rifles. You just can't walk into a city carrying a rifle, heh, heh. We would place the rifle parts into pockets that Ashley and I sewed into our jackets and once we were at our insertion point we would re assemble the rifle. We also decided that Ashley would be the shooter and would use her AR15 since she had a scope for it and it was zeroed in. 

  The day of the V.P. appearance came and Ashley and I got up early, broke down her rifle and placed the parts and ammo in the pockets that we sewed inside our jackets. We had a nice breakfast and off we went to rattle the cage of our beloved progressive government.

                                         ----- END OF PARY 2------
Replies: >>19438 >>19561
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>>19403
I kinda thought it was you,Hans. When will we be hearing from the Count again?
Replies: >>19438
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>>19400
Here are websites that are more your speed, filthy normie desu.
>>>facebook.com
>>>twitter.com
>>>reddit.com
>>>wattpad.com

>>19379
>>19403
>name field is disabled
>aw gee time to namefag ten times harder!
If you insist then I made your badge of identity, Hans. Even if you dont use this one just know I will save your badge of identity and impersonate you any chance I want.
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Butt-Head: Uh...these stories suck.

Beavis: Yeah, where are all the boobs?
>>19379
A captivator?
A cutie?
A charmer?
A creator?
A carer?
A chameleon?
A counselor?
A cocktease?
A crabposter
A cucumber?

B all of the above?
Impossibru!
Replies: >>19501
>>19410
I enjoyed this part very much. The details on the shooting, the chemistry between the characters. It’s all well executed. You never cease to amaze, SeaBee.
>>19411
I sure hope so, sir. I haven’t started the new chapter yet but I have some good ideas to be put down.
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This is a lot like Hans and Seabee
>>19439
Thank you for servicing me
Replies: >>19445
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>>19444
No no no, thank YOU, sir.
roger THAT
*gluck gluck gluck*
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>>19471
SIR. PERMISSION TO SUCK, SIR?
Replies: >>19487
>>19439
Support Our Troops.
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>>19472
FRIENDLY FIRE, I REPEAT, FRIENDLY FIRE!
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OORAH SIR, YES, SIR!!
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>>19488
OOOH AHHH,SIR YES SIR!
At first it was cross dressing and homos going into the military and now it’s gay oral sex. This is one of the reasons the United States military lost in Afghanistan. I also wouldn’t be surprised if some of our veterans come back as gay.
Replies: >>19492
>>19490
I'm pretty sure the gay oral sex has been part of the military since the inception of a bunch of sexually pent up, scared, frustrated men packed together on a battlefield looking for any form of comfort, even their fellow man.
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>>19487
That is really nice. Eggshell white.

Jesus. That is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?
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>>19494
Better eggshells than bullet shells!!!!
>>19492
that is a lot like /ashleyj/
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Make love not war <3
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>>19436
>A crabposter?
>A cucumber?
Guilty as charged.
Replies: >>19554
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Once upon a time, in a small suburban town nestled between rolling hills and lush greenery, there lived a man named Jon Arbuckle. He was a kind-hearted and gentle soul, known throughout the neighborhood for his love of animals and his faithful companion, Garfield the cat.

Jon had always been content with his simple life, spending his days working as a cartoonist and his evenings curled up on the couch with Garfield, sharing stories and laughter. But deep down, Jon longed for something more—a love that would fill his heart and bring new meaning to his life.

Little did Jon know, fate had something special in store for him. One sunny afternoon, while strolling through the local park with Garfield by his side, Jon stumbled upon a woman painting a breathtaking landscape of the surrounding scenery. Her name was Ashley Jones, a talented artist with a warm smile and eyes that sparkled like the stars.

As Jon approached her, he couldn't help but feel captivated by her presence. They struck up a conversation, and before long, they were laughing and sharing stories as if they had known each other for years. Jon was mesmerized by Ashley's passion for art and her zest for life, and he found himself drawn to her in a way he had never experienced before.

In the days that followed, Jon and Ashley spent more time together, exploring the town and discovering new adventures. They shared their hopes and dreams, their fears and insecurities, and with each passing day, their bond grew stronger and deeper.

Jon found himself falling deeply in love with Ashley, and he knew in his heart that she was the one he had been searching for all along. He poured his feelings into his cartoons, immortalizing their love story in every stroke of his pen.

And as for Garfield, he couldn't have been happier for his owner. He watched with a contented purr as Jon and Ashley embarked on their journey of love, knowing that they were meant to be together forever.

And so, in the quiet moments of their days and the tender embraces of their nights, Jon Arbuckle and Ashley Jones found a love that would last a lifetime—a love as timeless and enduring as the bond between a man and his beloved cat.

(hope that wasn't too personal or anything.)
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>>19439

https://youtu.be/Yv5dPz74qE8
Replies: >>19507
>>19505
kek you're a good sport
>>19504
It started alright and it was leading somewhere and there's a plot brewing here but it doesn't boil down to anything. Where's the meat? Where's the climax? Everything is described so passively and broadly. Jon gets Ashley quite effortlessly. There's no struggle here. There needs to be some sort of struggle and effort involved no matter how big or small. Then again, we all have to start from somewhere.
Try harder, comrade.

>>19404
Where's the epilogue, Lebowski? I want me that epilogue. Ashley says you're good for it.
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>>19501
USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST
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>>19410
                                              THE EVENT
                                                 PART 3

  We entered the city unnoticed. As we had reconed a few days earlier there was an abandoned building facing the platform from which the V.P. was to speak. We entered the building, went to the second floor, removed the grate from the floor drain which led to a large storm drain. Ashley asseblled her rifle. We had an hour before the V.P. would make his appearance so we passed the time telling each other corny jokes. I liked to make her laugh, her laugh was so infectious and cute.

  Finally the V.P. appeared on stage. I looked through my range finder, found the distance from the window from which Ashley would take her shot to the platform was 304 yards. I relayed the info to her and she adjusted the front sight accordingly. We moved an old wooden crate next to the window and Ashley sat on it, knees up. She wrapped the rifle sling tightly around her arm and brought the rifle butt snugly against her shoulder resting her elbows on her inner thighs and looked through the scope. I saw a bead of sweat roll down her forehead. She was a study in absolute control and she was steady and unmoving as a statue. She inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled and pulled the trigger. I watched through my range finder and saw the V.P.'s head explode spraying blood everywhere. The scene was total chaos with government house niggers running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

  Ashley and I ran to the drain pipe and she jumped in first. I followed, replacing the grate to cover our tracks and we found orrselves in a large storm drain. There was no time to breakdown the rifle so Ashley hid it in a hole in a concrete block to be retrieved at a later date. The drain pipe exited into a park area where people were having picnics, lovers holding hands, oblivious to what had just happened. Ashley and I exited the drain and blended in with everyone else not looking suspicious at all. Government house niggers began to appear in a desperate attempt to find the shooter. A few approached Ashley and me and asked in ebonic black speak if we saw anyone with a weapon. We pointed in the opposite direction that Ashley and I were walking and told them that we saw an armed man running. The head house nigger yelled to his subordinates to go in the direction we told them and off they went on a wild goose chase. Ashley and I figured we would return after things died down to retrieve her rifle.at a later date

  We struck out for home looking forward to watching the government TV channel to watch how the government would make a martyr out of the assassinated V.P.

                                                   TO BE CONTINUED
Replies: >>19569
>>19561
I sometimes look at Ashley and I see a Ted Kaczynski in the making. One push in the right direction and she'll be converting those old VCRs to IEDs and mailing them all over the country. All it takes is for her to snap and also some fertilizer.
As a reminder, this is a fan fiction thread with user-submitted content. Just to be clear, I legitimately hold no desire to harm anyone, be it animal or human. I don't even dislike the government so much as I have simply become apathetic to governments and corrupt leadership. It's always existed and always will. I surely am not going to do anything to interfere with it. I don't care for politics or hold much weight in the government positive or negative. 

My solution is never violence, just to try and peacefully live outside of the system as much as possible. That's all I've ever advocated and all I'll ever do (as I've written extensively on my website).
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>>19571
Neither was Ted until…it’s a joke. Don’t take it seriously.
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>>19572
I don't think Ashley's post was for you specifically bro. Read between the lines a little. It's because retards in this thread have been fedposting so she's making sure the intern glowie assigned to tubgurl.com doesn't have any fuel. 

P.S. I am fully nude right now as I write this
Replies: >>19580
>>19578
>It's because retards in this thread have been fedposting so she's making sure the intern glowie assigned to tubgurl.com doesn't have any fuel.

I think the Feds will raid her house just because her cuteness level is beyond the legal limit. I’ll make sure to say my Hail Marys after I see her house raid on CNN.
>I am fully nude right now as I write this
Pics or lie
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>>19571
OK, I'll pull the plug on my fiction  Fed posting. Let me hear any ideas you might have. You seemed to like my previous fan fictions so let me know
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>>19571
I reported you to the FBI because I suspect that pussy bomb.
Replies: >>19591
>>19548
Epilogue will be here soon, been busy at work

>>19571
I know you don't like violence Ashley, don't mean to make you uncomfortable, The epilogue will clear things up.
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You guys can continue your fan fiction as normal, I just need to clarify for my assigned glowie that what you're writing is purely fan fiction and that I'm not the next Ted K.

>>19588
I reported you to CPS because you've been slamming your kids against the wall.
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>>19571
>Just to be clear, I legitimately hold no desire to harm anyone, be it animal or human
oh really, then explain picrelated hmmmm? hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm?!?!

>>19582
Seabs, I know youre a military man and so youre used to being told what to do by transgenders, but you should finish your story!
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>>19595
I would finish the story but I don't want to run the risk of Ashley getting peeved, even slightly Too bad though, it's a really good ending and epilogue. Que sera, sera.
Replies: >>19598
>>19595 
>>19596 she responded its ok >>19591
ill try writing one but i dont want criticism lol
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>>19591
OK , you said I can continue, but please tell me what an "assigned glowie" is.
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>>19604
This should probably shed some light, sir.
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>>19608
>Their inability to blend in to the native population's habits, patterns and speech makes them stick out like a sore thumb to the population, hence they "glow in the dark".
>hence they "glow in the dark".
Terry is rolling in his grave.
>>19595
Testosterone can really change a girl.
>>19604
What amazes me most, is that some Americans believe the CIA is spying on them while the CIA has always been actively involved in overseas intelligence and operations and not the domestic inland affairs, unlike the FBI, NSA, and DHS. Apparently a computer engineer named Terry Davis came up with the term "glowie" for "CIA niggers" who were monitoring him as they glowed in the dark. ahem schizo ahem.
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>>19611
Yeah, it's crazy that people believe the CIA targets their own citizens. Oh wait. The CIA is notorious for targeting and experimenting on Americans. The government themselves even admit to torturing citizens. Can you say MKUltra?
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>>19612

>>19612
Yeah man. Shit! We’re permanently stuck in the 70s, dude. Everything is groovy and hip right now. I just bought the new vinyl album by ABBA. They’re rockin, man. Have you listened to the new Chich and Chong comedy, man? Those stoners are hilarious, maaayun!
The CIA are squares man!
Replies: >>19616 >>19674
>>19615
>presented with reasonable information disproving original point
>deflect with random nonsensical babble
Fucking peak brainlet we got here.
this entire board is a glowie op
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                                         -----THE EVENT-----------
                                                   PART 4

We arrived home, turned on the TV and watched the propaganda spew out of the government media suck ups like so much vomit. By the time all the acolades were finished you'd think that the V.P. should be nominated for sainthood.

  We began making a celebratory dinner. Ashley went outside for a minute and when she returned I asked where she went. She said that she went to see if there were any apples yet on the apple tree she planted because she wanted to bake me an apple pie. I laughed and told her that she planted it only a few months ago and that it was barely as tall as she was. She gave me her patented smirk and continued making dinner.

  After dinner we played monopoly to pass the time. Within two hours Ashley had all my money and property. I never realized how shrewd she was. She got up and did a little victory dance I totally enjoyed.

  After a few days we returned to the city to retrieve Ashley's rifle. Before retrieving the rifle we decided to enjoy the city. We walked around taking in the sights and doing some window shopping. We spied a second hand store and saw a few knick knacks that Ashley liked. I used a government credit card that I had purloined to purchase the items. I told her that this was the only time we could use the card since it would be reported as stolen and any shop keeper was obliged by law to call the authorities when the card came up as stolen in the government card swipe machine. Both Ashley and I had our own government credit card. When the cards came out it was mandatory that every citizen have a card but we refused to use them to avoid government tracking and even if we did neither of us was working so there were no credits on the card anyway. I often wondered if the government would become suspicious of Ashley and me because there were no credits on our cards. Sort of a damned if you do and damned if you don't scenereo.. We were doing OK with the well stocked freezer in the abandoned house we were living in and also gathering canned goods and non perishables from the abandoned supermarket.

  We returned to the park where the drain was located. We looked around cautiously and entered the drain. We located the rifle, broke it down and placed the parts in our inside pockets that we had sewed into our jackets.

  Our daily morning walks to feed the ducks at our favorite spot, the duck pond, became more and more enjoyable and we grew more and more closer to each other. I began to wonder where our relationship would end up, that and a sense of foreboding would sometimes overcome me.

                                      TO BE CONTINUED
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>>19591
Just wait till they find out what I'm gonna to do to this wall.
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>>19404

“Dammit, Duke! I wanted him alive!” 

“Sorry, sugar, kind of lost my cool there.” 

Ashley gritted her teeth, looking at my dead body. She was weighing her options. 

“Put pressure on that wound, I’m calling Her.” 

It wasn’t long before Nurse arrived. She brought Barry, Linda, Chester, Derrick and his mom, Glitta and Taz. 

“Get him on that table! We don’t have much time!” Ordered Nurse. 

She began stitching me up, Duke donated some blood, after an hour or two I began to wake. I thought I was in hell. Ashley was here, along with Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley and Ashley. When my eyes adjusted, I saw Duke was throwing firewood in the fireplace. 

“What. What the fuck...” 

“Hey, he’s kind of cute! Yay!” said Taz. Linda just rolled her eyes. 

I tried to get up, but Barry and Chester had me pinned down. I struggled, but it was no use, I was too weak from the stab wound. 

“I’m sorry anon, it wasn’t supposed to be this painful” Ashley said. 

“LITTLE BITCH GOT SHANKED! HAHA!” Shouted Glitta, doing a little dance. 

“Woah... Metal...” Derrick whispered, poking at my stitches. His mom was too busy flirting with Duke to notice. 

“Gag him.” said Ashley. Glitta took out some duct tape, sealing my mouth shut. 

“Haha! Yeah, shut yo bitch ass up!” 

I struggled more, but Nurse told me to stop, or I might rip my stitches open. They gathered around me, each of them putting their hands on me. I began to sweat; I knew this would be bad. Ashley lit some candles, and they all began to chant something. I felt the room spin, my limps began to shrink, my back became hunched. I could feel my DNA twisting and morphing into something truly horrendous. 

Then it stopped, they took their hands off me- all except Chester... he had this smile on his face. 

“Are you ok, My Little Willie?” 

“Yea...” I groaned. 

“We’re going to have so much fun together..." Chester whispered. 

“I know...” I spoke. 

So, the truth is reader, I know who I am now. I’m Ashley. You’re Ashley, too, you just don’t know it yet. 

---THE END---

Thank you to all who read my fanfiction. I wanted to do something darker compared to the other wonderful stories on here. To be honest I just made it up as I went along. In my opinion that's really the only way to write a story, anything else comes across as scripted and propagandistic.
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The cell I was in was cold, dark and noisy. I had been accused of a crime I had not committed. They had locked me up in a cell, and had told me I’d soon be exiled to a colonial island thousands of miles away perhaps never to return again. I had accepted this fate as I saw no choices before me and no solutions to get me off the hook. I had written a letter to my beloved, telling her of my situation and that my dying wish is to see her one last time. I’m sure the letter had reached her as I had hopes that she would come. These last days passed so slowly, as I awaited her arrival impatiently. I’d had nightmares of being sent away without seeing her again. I dreamt I was seeing her as I was on the prison ship and she was standing on the docks. I couldn’t hear her. Just a small figure standing in the sun. Finally the last day came. The warden unlocked the cell’s doorway and opened it. He stood there with his hands on his belt.
“Do I have any visitors?” I asked
He shook his head at me and said “No visitors for you. It’s time for you to go.”
“Please, can’t we wait a bit longer? I’m sure someone will come.”
“We can’t do that. Everything is on the schedule. And you’re going right now.”
I sat there for a second contemplating my life and the time I had spent with my beloved. I packed my personal effects and among them a photo of hers. I held back my tears as I left my cell and boarded the ship in a line among hundreds of other convicts as we were shipped away. She never came.


The End.
>>19632
>In my opinion that's really the only way to write a story
This is known as "pantsing," i.e., writing by the seat of your pants, as opposed to outlining or plotting your story beforehand. Stephen King is a famous pantser, for example. That's why the endings of most of his stories suck. Pantsing is the hallmark of the impatient retard who doesn't really have anything interesting to say, so he hopes it will "just come out" (in my opinion).
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>>19635
I don't fully disagree. Stephen King does suck for a number of reasons. The best thing to do is come up with an ending, which I admittedly did, and then write your way to that ending. The problem with a full outline is that you can stifle your creative process. Each have their advantages and disadvantages.
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>>19637
Yeah, I would agree that "over plotting" is definitely a thing, but generally I find writers who have the bones (at the very least) of their story laid out tend to produce more interesting if not coherent stories.
>>19632
Thank YOU for a nice story and the twisted ending.
>>19635
TIL what pantsing is. Nice.
>>19637
I kinda liked the ending. It gave us the epiphany of anon's journey. I found the epilogue quite satisfying as everything was resolved and all mysteries answered. And this story really needed that epilogue because there was very little revealed to the reader to come up with their own conclusions as to what happened.
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>>19645
Moby Dick was originally given terrible reviews.

Herman Melville added an epilogue and it has become one of the greatest, most treasured stories of all.

Call me Ahab.
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>>19645
Wtf is this english class?
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>>19645
>TIL
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>>19608
>>19611
>>19615
You are so retarded it hurts. I bet you begged for the vaccine. Please go back to whatever normie infested social media shithole you came from.

Alternatively, instead of hand-waving away this post, you could educate yourself, but I'm not holding my breath.

The CIA’s Appalling Human Experiments With Mind Control
https://www.history.com/mkultra-operation-midnight-climax-cia-lsd-experiments
>MK-Ultra’s “mind control” experiments generally centered around behavior modification via electro-shock therapy, hypnosis, polygraphs, radiation, and a variety of drugs, toxins, and chemicals. These experiments relied on a range of test subjects: some who freely volunteered, some who volunteered under coercion, and some who had absolutely no idea they were involved in a sweeping defense research program. From mentally-impaired boys at a state school, to American soldiers, to “sexual psychopaths” at a state hospital, MK-Ultra’s programs often preyed on the most vulnerable members of society.

In 1950, the U.S. Released a Bioweapon in San Francisco
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/1950-us-released-bioweapon-san-francisco-180955819/
>Beginning on September 26, 1950, the crew of a U.S. Navy minesweeper ship spent six days spraying Serratia marcescens into the air about two miles off the northern California coast.
Note: Technically Operation Sea Spray was a Navy operation, but had CIA involvement, such as from bacteriologist Frank Olson, who was later effectively murdered by the CIA as part of MK-Ultra. See next article and here's a normie-friendly Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Olson

From mind control to murder? How a deadly fall revealed the CIA’s darkest secrets
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/sep/06/from-mind-control-to-murder-how-a-deadly-fall-revealed-the-cias-darkest-secrets
>Despite the successful cover-up, Olson’s death was a near-disaster for the CIA. It came close to threatening the very existence of MK-Ultra. Gottlieb and his bosses at the CIA might have taken this as a moment for reflection. In light of this death, they could have reasoned, further experiments with psychoactive drugs should be stopped, at least on unwitting subjects. Instead, they proceeded as if Olson’s death had never happened.

Inside Operation Northwoods, The U.S. Military Plot To Incite A War With Cuba
https://allthatsinteresting.com/operation-northwoods
>Devised by the Joint Chiefs of Staff in 1962, Operation Northwoods called for CIA agents to attack U.S. military personnel and civilians so they could blame it on Cuba's communist regime.

How the CIA Is Acting Outside the Law to Spy on Americans
https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/analysis-opinion/how-cia-acting-outside-law-spy-americans
>...the CIA has been conducting a bulk collection program and searching through the resulting data for information about Americans.

Operation Chaos: The CIA Program That Spied on Americans
https://www.grunge.com/286790/operation-chaos-the-cia-program-that-spied-on-americans/
>Operation CHAOS compiled a number of the CIA's illicit activities and was soon feeding information to the FBI's equally suspect COINTELPRO. Anti-war protestors and Black Panther Party members were targeted, while journalists were added to the CIA's payroll. Meanwhile, the CIA and the FBI went almost 400% over budget with these activities compared to what they told Congress they were spending.

The Historical Roots of CIA-Hollywood Propaganda
https://sci-hub.ru/10.1111/ajes.12177
>This article recounts the history of the process by which Americans came to accept the ideas continuously promoted by the government, often without knowing that their favorite movies and television shows had been vetted or even altered by agents of the CIA or the Pentagon. Since these practices violate federal laws, the public at least has a right to know that we are being subjected to this sort of propaganda and how much tax money is spent to produce entertaining forms of disinformation.

Op-Ed: Why does the Pentagon give a helping hand to films like ‘Top Gun’?
https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2022-05-30/top-gun-maverick-memorial-day-tom-cruise-pentagon-propaganda
>Jerry Bruckheimer, a top producer, said that “Top Gun” and 2001’s “Pearl Harbor” simply wouldn’t exist without military approval. Mace Neufeld, who produced virtually the entire Jack Ryan film franchise, also needed Pentagon and CIA support. Neufeld has acknowledged that Paramount Pictures would greenlight the first film in the series, 1990’s “The Hunt for Red October,” only if it secured Defense Department approval first. It was even in the contract. One can imagine the chilling effect this has on screenwriters.

Please note that all of these sources are totally normie-friendly (Smithsonian, ACLU, History, The Guardian, etc.) so don't give me any mouthbreather bullshit about how "duuuhhhh that's just a conspiracy theeeooorryyy."

Also, the term glowie didn't originate from someone who was "apparently a computer engineer" you insufferable fucking normie scum. Terry Davis was a brilliant and talented man who wrote his own programming language and operating system, from scratch, alone. The compiler, bootloader, kernel, filesystem, audio code, everything. He is the only person to have ever accomplished this staggering amount of work completely by himself. Because you're a normie, you've never heard of him before this thread, so don't dare come along and besmirch his good name.
Replies: >>19682
>>17727 (OP) 
>>19652
This game was such a letdown.
Replies: >>19687
>>19674
Nice to see someone else has a brain. That list could be about 100 times longer. How someone can convince themselves that three letter agencies are victims of a public smear campaign is beyond me.
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>>19680
Personally I don't think so, however an epilogue was planned and never released.

Remind you of anything?
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                                                  ------ THE EVENT-------
                                                            PART 5
                                                         CONCLUSION

One morning Ashley and I were at our favoriye spot feeding the ducks. In the distance we heard some yelling and screaming and decided to investigate. As we drew closer to the noise we spied five good citizens standing tied hand and foot and about twenty progressive government agents taunting them and hitting them with the butt of their rifles. Finally the agents stepped back and began talking to each other. One hand grenade could have wiped them all out, my kingdom for a grenade. Ashley and I assumed the prone position and began firing into the clump. It took some time for their room temperature IQs to determine where the shots were coming from but by then it was too late, our accuracy was too much for them and they all lay dead.

  Ashley and I ran over to the relieved citizens and removed their bindings. They thanked us profusely and high tailed it.. All of a sudden a shot rang out and I saw  Ashley grasp her chest and fall to the ground. I turned and saw the wounded offending agent and returned fire killing him. I knelt next to Ashley, her eyes were closed and she wasn't breathing. I applied pressure to the wound and started CPR for what seemed like an eternity but to no avail. She was gone. 

  I scooped her up to carry her home. I passed the duck pond with her in my arms and my eyes began to tear and an undescribable sorrow welled up inside me. 

  I arrived home with Ashley in my arms and laid her down next to the apple tree she had planted and went into the house. I returned with a shovel and her favorite cozy blanket and her little stuffed Garfield plush. I dug her grave using the apple tree as her headstone. I placed her Garfield in her arms and covered her with her blanket. I lowered her down and filled in the hole.

  I went into the house pausing at the funny and somewhat degrading picture Ashley had drawn of the president of the corrupt progressive government. I had a sad smile on my face standing there reminiscing about my times with her and wondering how I could possibly live without her. How could I carry on my assault with the progressive government without her by my side.

                                        ----EPILOGUE----

  Seabee was in the house, he was unconsolable, reminiscing about his dear friend now gone. Outside it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping. If one looked close enough one could see the first white bud on the little apple tree Ashley had planted. Suddenly from within the house a single shot rang out.

  Due to the self sacrifice and dedication to the cause by Ashley and Seabee the populace rose up and removed the corrupy progressive government, lawful elections were held and the U.S. Constitution was restored.

  A statue of Ashley and Seabee was commissioned as a dedication to the pair. Ironically the statue was erected next to Ashley's and Seabee's favorite place, the duck pond.

                                  T
                                  H
                                  E N D
Replies: >>19746 >>19749
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>>19742
Nice read overall Seabee and an interesting change of having something a bit more gritty.
I like how you usually include a scene in your stories with her making you dinner.

The ending was sad, I was hoping she would be stitched up and you two would get a happy ending ;)

TYFYSAAJ
Replies: >>20085
>>19742
SeaBee, wow. What a way to go. It’s never easy to write like this or to read it. There was some consolation in the end but I ask myself “Was it worth it?” As the saying goes “I’ve won but at what price?” I was very touched as I read the story. You really know how to convey emotions.
Also I didn’t know it was a Marxist revolution, comrade.
Replies: >>20085
>>19746
>>19749
Thanks, guys. Glad you enjoyed.
Replies: >>20103
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>>20085
You dropped this, king (picrel)
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This is a poem about sleep paralysis based on my own personal experience with it and it ain't pleasant. If you're easily scared then don't read it. If you're gonna read it, then please do it at your own risk. I hold no responsibilities.

As I manifest my presence and dominate your dreams
The reality shatters with shocks and beams
As I sharpen my claws and sit your chest
I'll suckle the nipples on your small firm breast
As I steal your breath and feed you fears
I'll also indulge on a few drop of tears
As I whisper my spells within your ears
I'll take away your peace and also cheers
As I petrify your body and terrorize your soul
I leave you defenseless as I take control
You can feel my embrace and hear my voice
As I pray to Satan, there is no choice
Soon my deed is done and my presence gone
But you never know if you've lost or won
You take a few breaths and rest again
Hoping to never feel or hear me again
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>>20215
shit my pant rn
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>>20215
A recital in ASMR
>>20225
Can you whisper "let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor"? It's for derrick.
Replies: >>20236
>>20225
disgusting
Replies: >>20236
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>>20215
I should have observed your caution, but I didn't and read your poem (Hans?) You expect me to sleep tonight? Fat chance. Aahhh, to sleep, perchance to dream.
Replies: >>20236
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>>20228
Sorry I don't do copyrighted stuff. And I imagine this is for editing Jared Lee Loughner's Wikipedia page? Unless this is Derrick's Mom and I'm gonna be cumpensated (wink wink) for breaking Copyright Act of 1976, then no, sorry.
>>20229
Heh. Good.
>>20230
Heh. At your service, sir. Speaking of Foster's and seamen (Heh heh I said seamen) with the Aussie anon, I recently re-watched this scene from The Last Detail and I was reminded of you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1pdy4MFlq4
Replies: >>20241 >>20242
>>20225
I wanted to punch my screen listening to this bullshit for 3 seconds
Replies: >>20238
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>>20237
By all means do it.
Replies: >>20239
>>20238
I'd gladly do it to your face
>>20236
>Sorry I don't do copyrighted stuff.
You shouldn't do anything you cringelord
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>>20236
Yea, that was a good movie. I haven't seen it in a while, seems like it stopped being shown on cable for some reason. A great cast too.

Before I went to Afghanistan my platoon leader told me to "escort" one of the guys in my platoon to the brig. He was a nice guy and I hated to do it. What was his crime, somehow he got caught jerking off. Hell, if everyone that  jerked off got caught there wouldn't be enough Navy brigs. I never saw him again so I don't know what happened to him.
Replies: >>20280
>>20241
kek
>>20241
>hates my guts
>keeps reading my posts
>keeps calling it cringe
>lather, rinse, repeat
Dude you’re a retarded masochist. Seek help.
>>20242
Too bad for the guy who got caught for it. Seems to me they went a little too harsh on him for it.
Replies: >>20282
>>20241
this but to Ashley
>>20280
If you dont like the truth then you should stop being a cringe ass nigga
Replies: >>20299
>>20282
Ay yo Barry come back to bed and watch. Iz can’t get it up if yu stop watching me dp ya wife.
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>this thread
Replies: >>20373 >>20380
>>20370
This thread is the home of the Tub’s literary figures. We write poetry and stories inspired by and related to Ashley Jones. You’re welcome to read something if you have the time and interest to do so. There are stories both in series and also standalones. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
>>20370
Finally, someone based.

>>20373
Gay
>>20373
>This thread is the home of the Tub’s l̶i̶t̶e̶r̶a̶r̶y̶ ̶f̶i̶g̶u̶r̶e̶s egotistical namefags
fixed that for ya
>>20373
Also, wtf is "the tub"?
Replies: >>20421
>>20420
Read the name of the imageboard nigga
Replies: >>20422
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>>20421
Looks like /ashleyj/ or tubgurl.com to me nigga
Replies: >>20431
>>20422
I worked at a factory whose supplier was FAG but we were suppose to refer to them by their parent company "Schaeffler" but of couse nobody outside of the offices did that.
>>20373
>If you have any questions feel free to ask.
Yes, I have a question. Can you stop being super fucking gay?
Requesting a story of Ashley being a mean babysitter man that would be so funny ahah
Requesting a story of Ashley being tied down to her futon and having her nipple hairs plucked by the fat boy she likes to cyber bully man that would be so funny ahah
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>>20749
I kinda thought you and Ash would ride off into the sunset. I guess you just can't compete with Michel, a hot blooded vampire. I'd have kidnapped Ash for her own good, you gave up too easily unless you have something in mind for part VI, heh, heh.

I'm glad you finally fed your horse, he's been standing out there a long time waitin' on you.
Replies: >>20954
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>>20937
I thought about kidnapping her but that’s not what I’m gonna do. I have something else in mind. Something far more exciting than carrying her tied and gagged over my shoulder. Yeah the horsey was starving, standing out there all night.
Tune in next time for Part VI and what I come up with to save Ashley from the perils of the sinister siblings.
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>>21667
Boatswain Seeby, LOL  Honestly though, Navy Seabees don't get along very well with fleet sailors.

Looks like the boys are gearing up for the gunfight at the OK Corral with the Count. Looks like there's going to be a lot of bitin' and a lot of shootin'

Not being from the U.S. you seem to know a lot about our Civil War as you mentioned the term carpet baggers,those guys from the northern states that went to the southern states to enrich themselves during the government reconstruction period plus some other things you mentioned.

Do you make the pictures yourself, they match your story so perfectly? Well done
Replies: >>21741
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>>21727
Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
>Looks like the boys are gearing up for the gunfight at the OK Corral with the Count. Looks like there's going to be a lot of bitin' and a lot of shootin'
I certainly hope so. That’s what I’m going for.

I do tend to read and watch a lot about America and even do a small study for details and specifics like I did for this part. I think it gives the work a sense of being genuine and makes it more interesting regarding the place and period.
>Do you make the pictures yourself, they match your story so perfectly? Well done
I use Bing image creator for the pictures. I give the AI the description of the people, the place and time and out of a couple of image generations, it tends to make a few decent ones as well. Thank you for your readership and laudation, friend. Have a wonderful time on St. Paddy’s Day.
https://www.bing.com/images/create
Replies: >>21745
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>>21741
Happy st. Patrick's Day to you also. Care to disclose in what country you reside? If not , that's cool.
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>>21749
post some tiktoks
https://www.tiktok.com/@krabsltd
Replies: >>21754
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>>21752
beep boop ........... facial reconstruction complete
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>>21749
>married
>writes fanfics about a girl in another country
I unironically feel bad for your wife.
Replies: >>21759
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the internet is forever
>>21755
First of all Ashley’s my muse who inspired me to write and I have no sexual desires for her and this isn’t my only work of writing which is also no secret to anyone who knows me personally. The stuff I’ve written here is not sexual or erotic in nature which should tell you enough about how I feel about her. Second, My wife knew about her from day one and I never hid anything I wrote here or talked to Ashley about on the phone from her. Ashley’s like a dear friend to me and that’s about it. I feel no need to explain myself further. Feel bad for yourself for being a judgmental piece of shit who has nothing better to do on St. Patrick’s day but to obsess over other people’s lives. Get a life loser.
>>21759
>My wife knew about her from day one and I never hid anything I wrote here or talked to Ashley about on the phone from her.
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you panic deleted your post and your tiktok account because you know what you're doing is wrong
Replies: >>21762
>>21759
> I have no sexual desires for her 
What are you, gay?
Replies: >>21763 >>21764
>>21760
What exactly was wrong here that you .found? Please enlighten me o wise one. What are the charges?
Replies: >>21765
>>21761
Why does everything have to be sexual?
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>>21761
No, But you are.
Replies: >>21766
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>>21759
>>21762
>The stuff I’ve written here is not sexual or erotic in nature which should tell you enough about how I feel about her.
Funny how at the exact same time you were on your deleting spree (your posts here, your twitter posts which are now private, and your tiktok account) that this brand new Reddit account was also deleted. The account had only ever posted on the new Ashley subreddit. What was posted? Fan fiction. With a very familiar writing style.

Would you consider your bukakke rape fantasy sexual in nature? How do you really feel about Ashley?

Did you share this story with your wife?
>>21764
Apparently so.
Replies: >>21767
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>>21766
I knew it.
>>21759
>posts twitter username
>gets mad that people look at your twitter
>>21759
I hope she divorces your ass, faggot
Replies: >>21773
>>21772
Its real life Barry and Linda
this thread is finally getting interesting
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This is a good reminder that, in the end, we are all just competitors, fighting for nothing less than sole property of that tombussy..

Never let your guard down soldiers.
Replies: >>21841 >>21849
>>21840
I only hang out here because it's a fun board to shitpost on tbh. I mean ashley is based and all but I don't think she's gonna be my gf
Replies: >>21843
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>>21841
Alright buddy. Picrel is you and me, I guess it is obvious who is who (I am Celestia).
Replies: >>21844
>>21843
I don't know which one that is but I hope it's the white one
Replies: >>21845
>>21844
good call putting hope in the white one, it hardly ever works out when one puts hope in the purple ones
>>21765
i guess we have a new candidate for the next aj awards show
>>21759
>>21840
I hate all of you simps because i can tell every single one of you are probably married 30 something pieces of shit child rapists and I hate Ashley for pandering to you for attention
>>21765
Imagine thinking up, writing and posting that story.
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>>21765
This post is even funnier when you read it in Chris Hansen's voice and cadence.

Namefags BTFO
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I told this dork months ago why namefags are looked down upon. I understand newfags are a thing, so I tried to spoonfeed him. Pretty sure I linked the famous essay about it (https://wakaba.c3.cx/shii/shiichan) and everything. Pearls before swine.

It got so bad that Ashley herself disabled the name field. And yet, even without the name field, here we are, still discussing namefaggotry. Since the ego of namefags know no bounds, of course he posts his normalfag social media link.

What did you think was going to happen, dude? Of course someone was going to check out your username and go through everything.

Pretty fucked up that you're married and writing cum guzzling bukkake fantasies, tbh.

But here's the good news: you have the opportunity to do one or more of the following:
- pull your head out of your ass
- realize why being a dumb fucking normie putting all of your thoughts on social media is a bad idea
- stop being a normalfag
- stop namefagging
- develop an understanding and appreciation for the culture
- post anonymously on the anonymous image board

You could easily turn this into a positive learning experience for yourself. Here's a refresher for you. Maybe it'll resonate with you a little more now:

>Anonymity counters vanity. On a forum where registration is required, or even where people give themselves names, a clique is developed of the elite users, and posts deal as much with who you are as what you are posting. On an anonymous forum, if you can't tell who posts what, logic will overrule vanity. As Hiroyuki, the administrator of 2ch, writes:

>If there is a user ID attached to a user, a discussion tends to become a criticizing game. On the other hand, under the anonymous system, even though your opinion/information is criticized, you don't know with whom to be upset. Also with a user ID, those who participate in the site for a long time tend to have authority, and it becomes difficult for a user to disagree with them. Under a perfectly anonymous system, you can say, "it's boring," if it is actually boring. All information is treated equally; only an accurate argument will work.
Replies: >>21857 >>21859
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>>21856
did someone say... newfags?
>>21856
I'm the guy you originally linked the article for.

Believe it or not, I'm not the same guy as that other fag.

I'm just glad I'm not the retard this time.
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>>21765
>that story
dayum
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>>21859
Thanks

For 

The

Clarification
Replies: >>21970
>>21859
I've linked it a couple of times, and I think I've seen someone else link it too. I just like that article because it pretty succinctly describes the idea behind anonymous image boards.

You've obviously taken the hint, because I have no idea who you are. We might be able to "identify" eachother during the course of this conversation, but I'll never know who you are in any other thread. Isn't that nice? We could be calling eachother niggerfaggots in one thread, and then back eachother up about some idea in another thread that we both agree on. It's not the ego or the identity at play, it's the ideas.

I don't really see this discussed, but anonymous chatting like this is a great way to learn things. Haven't you ever found yourself in a situation where you have a question about something, but you have this inkling that your question is stupid, or your ego prevents you from wanting to look like a newbie, or whatever? So you just don't ask the question. In places like this, you can just ask. It doesn't matter if someone thinks you're a retard, because the only thing you're putting out there is the idea, not yourself.
Replies: >>21864
>>21863
>It's not the ego or the identity at play, it's the ideas
FUCK that sounds so cringe phrased like that holy shit
Replies: >>21865
>>21864
Why?
>>21860
>bandit 2 after ashley's rape bukkake session
>>21765
Bro described the cocks with more detail than the pussy

>>21859
Wow a namefag that actually took advice. Good on you for being reformed.
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Great promotional work guys. Keep it up
Replies: >>21906
Did I write that? Yes
Did I enjoy writing it? No
I wrote it after seeing the cum tributes and That’s my reflection on it. That’s what I think about them. Just a bunch of bottom feeding wankers waiting in line to unload on a woman who can’t get a woman and I think they’re both degrading. And yes I even shared that one with the missus. She didn’t like it but is that gonna ruin my marriage? Absolutely not. She couldn’t care less. Why should she?So I don’t care what you loser faggots think. You can all go fuck your mamas. That’s the closest thing to a pussy you can get. If you do fuck your mamas please post it on the board for the rest of the lads to enjoy the incest.
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>>21878
Hahaha oh my GOD dude you're like the gum that won't come off the bottom of a shoe. I sincerely hope this is someone impersonating the namefag du jour. I'm going to act as if it's actually him because even if it's bait, this is too tasty to pass up.
>And yes I even shared that one with the missus.
You are 100% full of shit. We've already established you're a liar ("hurr durr I've never written anything sexual about Ashley"). There's no fucking way you sat down with your wife and said, hey sweetheart, come over here and read this story I wrote about an e-girl I'm obsessed with. In my story, she's having a dream where she's being mouth fucked by multiple men, and then she wakes up and masturbates. Do you think we're stupid? Care to comment on why you panic-deleted all your shit? Someone with nothing to hide sure wouldn't do that, now would they?
>>21878
you wrote a sexual degenerate fan fiction, not some social commentary you fucking dullard liar. The story had nothing to do with cum tributes, it was ashley getting raped by multiple men in all in "different shades" (aka black). Stop trying to backpedal when you keep getting caught in your lies.

>So I don’t care what you loser faggots think.
hey you're the one writing about cocks and cum, not me.
>>21878
Men like this succeed in life. They have sex, get married and reproduce.
>>21878
You have got to be one of the biggest retards I've ever seen on this board and that's saying something.
>>21878
You are an absolute retarded faggot
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>>21877
>Great promotional work guys
You deleted everything. There is nothing to promote. There is such a thing as bad publicity. You're experiencing it now, nigger.
My final word with the anons who take everything the wrong way and of all the stuff I’ve written have taken issue with the story that I didn’t even bother to post here.
a) This low-T, holier than thou attitude from people who’s life revolves around being sleuths on messaging boards but are grade-A pussies in real life means nothing to me. I said my piece about Ashley, and I wrote the story after seeing the cum tributes and I reflected on this matter. (I don’t give a hoot who thinks what. If your basis for literary opinion is grilling and accusing the author then you have no literacy.) You’re purely driven by hate. You didn’t give a damn about what I was writing here until you looked for something to criticize me for. Why? What drives you to do this if not out of pure hate or jealousy? What did ypu gain here? I probably shouldn’t have written it and I’m not proud of it but I did. I apologize to Ashley if she finds it offensive and distasteful even though I didn’t post it here. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. It’s my story. I did it because I was tilted by the tributes and I found it repulsive (how would you feel if someone made a cum tribute to your mother and sister? How would your loved one feel about knowing others have made a cum tribute to you? Only a cuck would shrug it off. No real man or loving woman would take that in slide.)

b) Also stick it in your thick heads that I don’t have any sexual feelings for Ashley nor do I sexually fantasize about her. My feelings and relation to Ashley is quite platonic. If you can’t understand it, it’s because you have an undeveloped brain and can only see women as holes, and you should refrain from breeding. How likely do I wonder that this issue is already taken care off.

c) where I come from I’m legally allowed to take up to 4 wives. So you can take your new age western ‘unfaithful husband’  guilt trip and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Also I am a direct descendant of a prominent Arabian family and all my forefathers and great uncles had at least 2 and up to 4 wives and dozens of concubines so your western feminist guilt trip means shit to me. Tell it to the ajams, niggers.
>>21929
gay
>>21929
gay
>>21929
gay
>>21929
gay
>>21929
gay
>>21929
gay
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>>21929
gay

>>21929
>people who’s life revolves around being sleuths
it is incredibly easy to hunt the normie, your stuff took all of 5 minutes to find

Why haven't you answered this very simple question: Why did you panic delete all your stuff if you have nothing to hide?

<ANSWER THE QUESTION ACHMED
<ANSWER THE QUESTION ACHMED
<ANSWER THE QUESTION ACHMED
<ANSWER THE QUESTION ACHMED
>>21929
lol sand nigger muh western femenists guilt tripping me ok abdullah go tell your goat wife about the next Ashley Jones gangbang rape fanfiction you will write. Also: gay.
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>>21929
this is a lot like you and ashley
>>21929
gay
>>21861
You

Are

Wel

cum
Replies: >>21998
>>21929
straight
Replies: >>21974
>>21972
gay
Replies: >>21976
>>21974
bi
>>21970
*whale
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>>21929
>accuses us of only seeing women as holes
>muslimfag immediately brags about being "legally allowed to take up to 4 wives"
>brags about his sandnigger grandpa having dozens of concubines
but you're the moral authority on how women should be treated? hmmmm

>Also stick it in your thick heads that I don’t have any sexual feelings for Ashley nor do I sexually fantasize about her.
Bro this is literally a passage from your "fan fiction": He had been edging his dick all day. As he approached Ashley he unloaded his balls quickly. His load was much more voluminous but more fluid as it dripped from Ashley’s chin onto her beautiful collarbone.

cmon now and stop bullshitting. I know you're a normie and used to normie things, so you might think everyone is oh-so-outraged about the contents of your story. Nobody cares about that, worse things have been written and said about ashley for years, she herself doesn't even give a shit. What makes you so cringe is your total normalfag attitude, how proud you are to be a namefag, having social media, you're a SUPER OBVIOUS liar, etc. Nobody gives a fuck what camel jockey shithole you're from, you'd be a cringe normie no matter where you lived.

You clearly don't like image boards and certainly not any of the people on this one, and I'm guessing you must disagree with Ashley about virtually everything she stands for. So why the fuck are you here?

P.S. we all feel sorry for your wife, if it wasn't for the fear of being stoned to death she would escape a faggot like you. (She secretly hates you and you know it.)
>comes to anonymous imageboard
>identifies himself to everyone 
>gets mad when called a retarded faggot
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I wake up to the sound of grunting coming from another room. I wasn't too concerned, more irritated that someone from another room was being too noisy and woke me up. I tossed and turned for a minute, debating on whether I should get up and start my day or just continue my beauty sleep. It seemed as though my decision would be made for me. As I laid in my bed I felt slight vibrations coming from another room. I knew this sound all too well. It was my husband's mechanical keyboard being jammed at by his meaty fingers. I became even more irritated by the persistent clicky clacky sound, and it seemed as though it wouldn't stop anytime soon.

I stretch, allowing my muscles to enjoy every moment of this stretchy sensation, as it's probably the last time I'll feel pleasure for the rest of my waking day. As I sit up in my bed a few thoughts and feelings are flying by in my mind. But my thoughts are once again interrupted by a sound in another room. I decide it's time to get up and start my day.

Stretching as I slowly walk, I drag my feet against my rug (which is sometimes used as a magic carpet in my country). My adventure stops only a few seconds later when my feet meet the kitchen, a destination I'm all too familiar with. If I leave this section of my house for more than 20 seconds it is legal for my husband and male neighbors to stone me to death. I decide, well, it was decided for me when my dad married me off to his co-workers son, that I need to make breakfast for my husband within 2 minutes of waking up. As I shear the hair off of our breakfast, which also happens to be my husband's boyfriend (a sheep), I hear a strange sound once again coming from my husband's computer room. It sounded like a "reeeeee" sound along with more fast paced, ham fisted typing on a keyboard. Only a few short seconds after this I hear my husband angrily storm out the front door. I was relieved he didn't practice his boxing moves on my abdomen as he usually does when he's upset or when he finds out I'm pregnant.

Curious, I made my way to his computer room to see what caused his unruly behavior. I was met with another sheep in his room along with hundreds of words on the computer screen. I sat down on his magic carpet (he forgot to undo the spell to make the magic carpet sit back on the floor as a rug and chairs are a luxury in my country and women aren't allowed to sit on chairs unless they want to be tar and feathered). As I looked at my husband's computer screen I was transported to a vivid scene painted by words rather than brush and canvas. A beautiful young woman was being glazed on like she was at the Krispy Kreme factory. Men in all different shades and sizes were unloading onto her face. Her mouth filled up quickly, similar to when I lay outside and open my mouth to collect rainwater in my mouth for dinner since we can't afford bowls in my country. Bowls are also illegal for women to look at and I don't have my blindfold handy. As I continued to listen to the text-to-speech reading of this story (I was never taught to read or write in my country due to being female), I learned more about my husband's desires.

Believe it or not I was ok with this story because at least it wasn't about a male sheep this time.
Replies: >>22104 >>22105
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>>22080
damn girl you ice cold
>>22080
Funny story but that image is totally unrealistic. Not only is her face and hands completely exposed but she also has access to a laptop. 
6/10 absolutely haram.
of course she loves the fanfics if she said that it fucking sucks she would be stoned to death 
do you guys think this fag is still lurking here? im sure he his, hes obsessed enough to write about Ashley Jones gangbang bbc rape. Hey abdullah you are a sand nigger :3
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