So I went to one of those speed date thingos...
At one point during the day (they are hosted during the daytime which in all honesty makes it low key kinda depressing) I got matched with the host of the event Ashley Jones.
things were going really well between us. so well in fact I suspected she wanted the D
however, we were in the midst of a deep discussion regarding the abstract social commentary about the morality of marijuana use and its impact on society in the 2009 avant-garde film "Sex Pot" starring Sam Cassel and directed by Eric ForsBERG.
When I pulled out my brand new Google Pixel 7 Pro to look something up and holy shit bros... did she blow a fucking gasket!
She started ranting and raving about how Google partners with the government to promote agendas and how they favour corporate websites and they destroyed the "fun" of the internet (she air quoted the "fun" btw... SUPER cringe, yikes even). Plus something about SEO?
At one point she was so irate that she accidentally let rip a massive fart.
This didnt stop her however, in fact it seemed to fuel her anger even more!
If that wasn't already embarrassing enough, she ended her rant by throwing the free soda water we all got (which was yellow and had this strange taste btw) in my face and declaring at the top of her lungs "MAYBE YOU SHOULD STICK THAT GOOGLE PIXEL PHONE UP YOUR ASSHOLE SO IT CAN MAP THE WALLS OF YOUR COLON AND THAT WAY GOOGLE CAN KNOW HOW TO FUCK YOU EVEN BETTER"
Needless to say, this whole thing left me super embarrassed and I had run out and didnt go back.
I never ended up paying my entry fee for the event though, so jokes on her. I got the last laugh.
>I regret going to one of her speed dating events