/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


βŠ– Thread has reached reply limit.


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Post funny pictures, webms, stories, or anything funny
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>>7284 (OP) 
Prostate cancer
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this one of my favoritesu wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww




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Give yourself the gift of new horizons.
Who You?: I am Tahiti. I rove vacation! πŸ—ΏπŸΉ
<Ristening to: https://yt.funami.tech/watch?v=Dr-ti8MEnTk πŸŽ΅πŸ•Ί
>Location: South Caicos, Turks and Caicos 🌏✈️
_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_,.-'~'-.,_
Replies: >>7292
>>7291
This video is funny Tahiti-san, it's like the beginning of Junko Furuta's story
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>>7297
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>>7326
Those are a lot like me and ashley
Happy 4 20 everyone <3
Happy birthday Ashley wooo!
AKA Kaydolf
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lol I forgot about the Kurt Angle and Booker T feud.
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this is a lot like me and ashley
Replies: >>7662
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>>7635
kek here's another in that vein
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youtube poops aren't really my thing but this reminded me of taz
Replies: >>7902
>>7896
I found the original video and I haven't laughed out loud like that in forever. You'd think a gay little twink like Taz's older brother would know how to swallow balls better.
Replies: >>7981
>>7902
post original? looks fucking hilarious
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>>7984
kek
Replies: >>7991
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>>7984
>>7985
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Replies: >>8005 >>8053
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>>7999
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>>7996
>may 26, 2023
isnt that whole digital blackface fiasco older then 2023?
I think this a fakescreenshot
>7999
and i didnt quote the post like the retard I am

maybe I was the fake screenshot all along

you almost sniped the 8k get too!
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>>7999
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Replies: >>8310 >>8311 >>8324
>>8307
Take my reddit gold, my good sir.
>>8307
Upvoted.
>>8307
https://youtu.be/fcJ4sg6uNa8
He is losing wait finallY!!!
What will Ashley flick her bean to now he isnt fulfilling her feeding fetish? 
Back to poorly animated horse +girl movies is my bet
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https://youtu.be/gX90p3Q1I9g
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this is what made ashley go vegan
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Just gutted my case and upgraded my PC. I have trapped Ashley in my CPU Cooler.
>>8866
Top tire qt cpufu
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>>8866
Ah, a fellow Ashley Jones linux connoisseur
>>8866
Is that where she has been? Let her out, faggot!
Replies: >>8872
>>8871

I am hoping if I rub her she will give me three wishes.
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>>8866
Confucius say: Hot girl on CPU cooler clog up heat sink.
>>8866
>tfw you realize she'll be watching you as you masturbate to porn
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>>8866
PLEASE put Ambatukam on there and take a video
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just came across this and I'm dying, well worth the read even if it's made up
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Replies: >>8914 >>8915 >>8922
>>8913
Maybe she can use that flashlight to see how much of a slut she is
>>8913
Maybe she can use a shotgun to see how much of a slut she is
Replies: >>8939
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>>8913
How do you turn it on and off?
>>8915
Don't be retarded, women don't know how to shoot guns
Replies: >>8943
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>>8939
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbCjcEO9z1A
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>>8998

Mint > Arch
Replies: >>9020
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>>9006
I really, really, really wanted to post a snarky comment about how you're wrong. Instead I'll compliment you for being a Linux chad and getting away from Windows cancer. Good job, anon. Assuming you're using or trying to use Linux full time, anyway
https://youtu.be/RQXunk7Qh1s
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>>9328
lol wonder if thats the real reason why that certain someone who used to work at KFC quit???
Replies: >>9387
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>Ashley will never be your fart obsessed mother who forces you to eat onions
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>>9352
Replies: >>9413
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Hey we like kfc bro
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVS_AHIsSw
>>9387
thats a lot like LB and Ashton
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>>9424
You forgot
>take the pug to a national park for some special alone time
see >>9377
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>>9423
controversial but true
I don't normally shill YouTube channels but this one is pretty funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHfcCdozqrg
Replies: >>9449 >>9451
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>>9448
She's still crazy after all these years but in a good way.
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>>9448
>ashley will never gaslight you into shopping at the Hot Topic
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>>9545
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https://youtu.be/8Z1CjyJQI1E
This could be you Ashley.....
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β–²β–²
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>>8998
Just in time before Pride month ends
Replies: >>9710 >>12419
>>9705
It's going to be nice that we can go back to hating gay people in July. I fucked so many gay dudes in June and I'm sick of it.
Replies: >>9712 >>9724
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>>9710

Really ash?
Replies: >>9716 >>9717 >>9724
>>9712
Not Ashley. I just fucked a bunch of guys because apparently it's the law. I met this gay dude and I was like "ew get away faggot" but he told me that if I didn't let him suck my dick that he'd call the police because it's pride month and I have to say yes. So I let him deep-gag me. This went down on the 3rd of the month and since then I've fucked or have been fucked by like 38 different dudes. June is goddamn exhausting.
Replies: >>9724 >>9727
>>9712
Yes. I'm addicted to anal.
Replies: >>9724
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>>9710
>>9712
>>9716
>>9717
this is a lot like me and Taz
>>9716
What's worse is when you were legally obligated to suck a gay guy's dick at 10:15pm and you're still sucking his dick at 12:08am on July 1st and so you're gay since it's not pride month anymore.
Replies: >>9728
>>9727
bro you just reminded me to check my calendar. I can't believe I've been feltching randos all morning for no good reason
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Can we get some webms up in this bitch? I need to expand my collection bros. Post your best funnies.
Replies: >>10565
>>10549
I hope they released the final porno somewhere.
Replies: >>10566
>>10565
If there's a coomer out there that can find it, I would absolutely love to see it. The poor male actor guy, despite being some buff scary looking porn dude, looks so freaked out. But he doesn't have to worry, it was only gay for the guy that got cummed on
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>>10590
kek ok I think that story was a total psyop (ohhh the billionaires disappeared, nope no bodies) but that's pretty good
Replies: >>10592
>>10591
I think they became krabby patties.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP4SrLhUHY8
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>>10687
Ugh this made me fart horny
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>>10687
>see I'm creating gas
This man understands how to live life to its fullest.
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this thread needs more sexy gretas
Replies: >>10702
>>10696
how dare you make me beat off
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this thread needs more sexy men
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heh
>>10783
This board is 18+
>>10783
Hey there lil' fellar, would you like some candy?
>>10783
0/10 not enough hyper-realistic blood for woman
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Ashley why am I forbidden from posting?
Replies: >>10823
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>>10822
>he said in a post that was posted to the board
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aw shit yo not yng cheesy
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livin the dream until one day he got too careless with it
Replies: >>11067
>>11063
I knew a guy who would film kids at the grocery store he worked at. I wanted to tell his work but he'd know it was me. I was afraid he'd try to ruin my life.
>>11067
>jacks slowly
aw yeah look at that sexy kid trying to decide between the butterfinger bar or the snickers
>jacks faster
mmm fuck yeah I love how uncomfortable they look when their mom starts eating grapes. I get especially hard when they say "mommy you haven't paid for that" and their mom says "it's OK they know people are going to try them"
>jacks furiously, almost there
uuoohhhh fuck yeah those hot kids look so bored while waiting in line with their parents
Replies: >>11074
>>11071
Everything's erotic when you're high test. Where do you think gay men and pedos come from? Saturn?
Replies: >>11079 >>11080
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>>11074
That's exactly where they come from
Replies: >>11082 >>14388
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>>11074
They come from the...
Replies: >>11082
>>11079
>>11080
More like Ur anus! goteeeeeem
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>>11067
Thanks for not telling my boss, bro. That would've been hella awkward. 

I stopped and no longer film them anymore.

Nowadays I just molest em. 
Replies: >>11097
>>11067
Thank you for not telling anyone. I owe you one.
>>11093
>matt damon
I always thought that was leonardo dicaprio.
Replies: >>11098
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>>11097
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>>11098
pls stop im retarded
Replies: >>11165
>>11098
Is that Sylvester Stallion?
>>11098
Or swarchtzanigger?
Replies: >>11117
>>11110

ever notice how schwarzenegger is a contraction of schvartze and nigger?
Replies: >>11118
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>>11117
>Schwarz means black
>Arnold Blacknigger
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>>11099
Replies: >>11327
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>>11165
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what do you call a 3 legged donkey?
a wonky


what do call a woman with 2 million dollars?
divorced
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Ashley's new girlfriend
Replies: >>11367
>>11358
How scary! Here's something more refreshing. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA4UhxfTwVk
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Replies: >>11371 >>11377
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>>11368
What a train enjoyer.
Replies: >>11373
>>11371
>CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A P R O B L E M
Replies: >>11470
>>11368
you think this dudes play train simulator games like we play our VN/hentai games?
Replies: >>11378
>>11377
He's a comedian, iirc has a nice girlfriend etc. Apparently he actually does have an interest in trains but hams it up to be funny
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Does anyone else think that this looks like hand jerking off a penis?
this was on the back of my supermarket receipt btw, i cant be the only one who sees this surely?
Replies: >>11390 >>11393
>>11385
No, you're just gay.
Replies: >>11392
>>11390
No Im not, it even has a lil bit of carrot cum shooting out the tip
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>>11385
I saved this pic awhile back, thought it was funny
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>>11439
What a time to be alive.
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>>11439
so the rumor from years ago WAS true?!?!?
IMG_2200.jpeg
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So in less than a year ashley goes from the only rule being not posting tranny porn to just posting tranny porn herself
>>11442
>to just posting tranny porn herself
*to just posting tranny porn OF herself
ashton5.mp4
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>>11442
aww is this more to your liking anon?
>>11439
>Ashley is circumcised
Explains a lot please cum in my mouth Ashley
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>>11439
There once was a "girl" from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long"she" could suck it
As "she" said with a grin as "she" wiped off "her" chin
If my ear was a cunt I'd fuck it
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>>11442
Ban me....Ban me
They ought to take a rope and hang me
Right from the highest tree
Anon would you weep for me
Replies: >>11471
>>11442
huh anon what u mean it's clearly the most on topic post on this board anon???
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I don't own a cell phone, never have and never will. Sometimes when I go shopping I bring my TV remote with me, it looks like a cell phone. When I come across a few people talking on their cell phones and it's usually some inane dribble just to hear themselves talk and feel important I put my TV remote up to my ear and start yelling and screaming to see if I can distract them. It usually works. They stop talking on their phone and just stare at me. After about a minute of my ranting I hold up the TV remote and ask if anyone knows if there's anything good on TV tonight. It's a cool goof. 

Remember back in the day if you had a flip phone you were one cool dude. After a few years companies stopped making flip phones in favor of open screen phones. If anyone still had a flip phone that person was looked down on and considered a dinosaur and uncool. Well I just saw a commercial on TV. It shows a young woman just hanging out and she happens to notice a guy pulling a cell phone out of his pocket. And what is it but a brand new just introduced flip phone. The guy flips it open and the girl practically cums in her panties thinking the guy is so cool with his new flip phone. That's one commercial that really cracked me up. Planned obsolescence and manipulation have certainly reared their ugly heads.

A few days ago I was having a problem with my cable. I called Comcast and in case you don't know the call is routed to India. I told the girl the problem and wanted to make a repair appointment. I can hear her tapping some keys and she keeps saying she keeps getting an error when she's trying to send me a text. She Thought I was on a cell phone. I told her I was on my land line and that I don't have a cell phone. There was a long pause and then she asked me how do I keep in touch when I go out. I again stated that I don't have a cell phone and she again asked, no, when you leave your house and go out how do you keep in touch. She couldn't believe that I didn't have a cell phone. Looks like people have really become addicted to cell phones. Well anyway, a tech was able to repair my cable box remotely.
>>11462
based boomer humor
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>>11462
Didn't laugh
Replies: >>11467
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>>11465
Not my problem.
Replies: >>11468
>>11467
Never said it was
>>11462
I love this lil nigga like you wouldn't believe.
Replies: >>11473
>>11373
What seems to be the problem?
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>>11455
Hang in there, every thing is going to be okay. As Bob Marley used to say Don't worry be Happy.
>>11469
umm back off kid? This seaman only has eyes for my boat
>>11439
I cant stop staring at it.
Replies: >>11479 >>11482
>>11478
dont copy me
>>11478
dont copy me
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This is hilarious. not my video, looks like the audio is a bit out of sync but good enough for you to get the idea.
Replies: >>11542 >>11576
>>11540
I'd trust the clip itself more if the audio was in sync. Still mad silly bruv
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this is hilarious and real
Replies: >>11569
>>11439
goonin' YEAH
>>11563
while I appreciate the sentiment of mocking this lizard person the presentation itself is pretty cringe tbh
Replies: >>11571
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>>11569
the "presentation" is a play on the latest TikTok trend of being an NPC in a livestream...
https://youtu.be/8CC5sHkbUBw
in which viewers donate certain emojis and the streamer does their next move based on what emojis were donated.
Yes this is absolutely fucking brain rotting retarded as it sounds but we live in a society...
>>11571
could u imagine if we did that in Ashleys livestreams based on her Cytube channel emotes?
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>>11571
This thread is supposed to be funny, not depressing.
>>11571
White woman moment
>>11540
Is that footage of a pensioner picking up a Thai ladyboy?
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Replies: >>11607
>>11591
apparently this lady apologized for her outburst and blamed it on alcohol 
me? i would blame it on the person sitting next to to me who wasnt real
>>11607
She didn't actually apologize, anon. She's already dead. That was a reptilian  wearing her as a skin suit.
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>>11607
Saw a video of an Asian debunking that apology video with an AI facial recognition thingy mah bobber and said someone else trying to get views. Genius if true.
Replies: >>11764
>>11762
kek this is hilarious and accurate

>>11763
I'd be interested in seeing that if you have a link
>>11607
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/wKs7YegrIgY
Niggas-For-Trump-Shirt-Niggas-4-Trump-2024-Shirt-Trump-Mug-Shot-Shirt-Trump-Mug-Shot-T-Shirt-Donald-Trump-Mug-Shot-Trump-Mugshot-Shirt-trendingnowe.com_1-600x599.jpg
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjksaA5TJ_E
Aliens πŸ‘½ πŸ›Έ 
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/BW1B6DgXJvk
Replies: >>11866
>>11860
>why dont they just plug into it?
>its a proprietary outlet sir
>oh ok
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Replies: >>12409
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Replies: >>12015 >>12028
>>11999
Did Joe Biden really say that? How would he know?
Replies: >>12028
Biden is actually right for once. You should take his advice, Ashley. That was a lovely blue moon we had last night. I had to wake up extra early to shave before work.
Replies: >>12028
>>11999
>>12015
maybe Michelle Obamna (and Barack) had a sleepover?

>>12019
its actually a full moon over here tonight, I need to break out the lawn mower and shave my pubes when I wake up
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Replies: >>12046
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>>12045
If a gay guy shoved the above aforementioned pole up his butt would it now be considered a shit post?
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Look closely, can you spot the anomaly in this webm?
Replies: >>12081
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>>12049
I've heard of a snakey lick but this exceeds all standards and practices.
>>12049
Why do women do this?
Replies: >>12063
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>>12051
Those are reptiles, look at the size of their tongues.
>>12049
HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?


(no it has not)
>>12048
SCREAMER. FUCK YOU YOU SET OFF MY DOG. FUCK YOU SEABEEEEEEEE.
thank you for your service
Replies: >>12084 >>12085
>>12081
to be fair to the great vet Seabee, perhaps his hearing aid was down low
Replies: >>12086
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>>12081
Sorry Anon, It scared the shit out of me too when I first opened it.

I' going to a cook out, have a great Labor Day weekend.
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>>12084
Heh, heh, good one, Anon. Have a great Labor Day weekend.
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the Steve Harvey stare...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3BJpO59F4g

pretty good channel as well
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Replies: >>12300
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ba4dwyLMQY
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>>12296
> no hannah montana linux
Replies: >>12305
>>12300
i use ubuntu server
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL5HIApQXrY
Replies: >>12306
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>>12305
mint on laptops
Replies: >>12319 >>12341
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Replies: >>12360
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>>12306
that's a nice background
Replies: >>12321
>>12319
i believe right it's hiroshi nagai
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>>12306
I haven't tinkered with mint in years but props to the founder for not letting Canonical shit up his distro with snaps

https://blog.linuxmint.com/?p=3906
>>12314
>LiveLeak
Oh no, poor granny, it's good that this video is cut at the right moment.
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Should we upload videos or nah?
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GN it's time to gtfo 4 me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZNtYmdZ-4c
Replies: >>12394 >>12407
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>>12393
Replies: >>12399
>>12394
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EWckuirMgcs
>He didn't buy NVIDIA Corp in 2020 like i told u
Explain, they had monopoly on ML shit
I wonder how that liberalism is working out?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UWwEYN4taWo&pp=ygUOQmlkZW4gZmFsbGluZyA%3D
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>>12393
Proud to be vaxx free
Replies: >>12424 >>12427
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>>11993
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wuC2tdSPMVg
>>9705
>>12382
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>>12407
gz
Replies: >>12429
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>>12407
Replies: >>12428 >>12430
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>>12427
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>>12424
Ted went to the doc for a vaxx
Doc didn't mention the drawbacks
Ted soon developed a sore
As he fell to the floor
No Ted no more
Replies: >>12431
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>>12427
Ted went to the doc for a vaxx
Doc didn't mention the drawbacks
Ted soon developed a sore
As he fell to the floor
No Ted no more
Replies: >>12437
>>12429
F
watchlist.jpg
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>>7284 (OP) 
No porn pls
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U can buy eastern euro bih just call me romania
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>>12430
Jon went to the fridge for snacks
Liz didn't mention the chocolate was ex-lax
Jon soon sharted in his drawers
As he beat down the bathroom door
No Odie don't lick that off the floor
Replies: >>12503
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>>12437
5 minutes later
TEST
https://www.bitchute.com/video/2ePVs28u6zb2/
Replies: >>12520
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>>12514
When I lived in the South Bronx we called a guy like this a gavone. A real Arthur Avenue gavone. Funny vid though.
Replies: >>12547
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Dearest Ashley and friends,
 If youre ever in town please feel free to come over in an intrusive manner. 
Though I may lack a firearm, I do have a large gun that I would very much like to blast you with.
 Cheers
>>12520
>gavone
Strange word, never used here, it means "the storage part around the center of a boat"
Replies: >>12572
https://www.bitchute.com/video/ywiagUDCSCy8/
Replies: >>12549 >>12552
>>12548
>Your video is being processed.
Power of opensores
Replies: >>12552
>>12548
>>12549
got filtered by bitchute
https://files.catbox.moe/lfqr2f.mp4
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me rn
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>>12547
In Italian it means an uncouth person. And I'm not Italian nor do I play one on TV
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Replies: >>12855 >>13064
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If you're a fan of the late George Carlin you'll really enjoy this one. He nails it, spot on.

https://youtu.be/Nyvxt1svxso
I_am_bowling_[PluQEOQukH4].webm
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>>8216
images.jpg
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>>12624
https://www.tiktok.com/@kawaiiballsforever/video/7254947035382697259
8f9141061f71df9729f88b7c64a779e97e04023912abbaf99d8197b90156bb79.webm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1CrBQiJ5YQ

dolphins will rape anything!
time for me to visit the beach and lose my virginity.
Wish me luck!
Replies: >>12899 >>12902
>>12895
Let dolphin quest aid you in your love quest.
https://dolphinquest.com/big-island-hawaii/
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>>12895
I read an article some time ago that talked about how horny adolescent dolphins are. They will form pods probably better called packs in which they will hunt and rape female dolphins. There were even reports that they would sexually attack human swimmers.
Replies: >>12904
dolphin.webm
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>>12902
based dolphins
Replies: >>12908 >>12911
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>>12904
I wonder if this guy is putting us on. But maybe not since there are towel head goat fuckers so why not dolphin fuckers. I guess he's into it
>>12904
this is a lot like me and ashley
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65F1_ApPHEg
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>>12624
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https://www.thespectrum.com/story/news/2022/11/14/investigations-into-viral-cedar-city-blackface-video-end/10696215002/
Replies: >>13070 >>13072
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>>13068
Corporate told us to pull these "mummy gnomes" but not the other gnomes from the shelves. There wasn't a reason. I still can't figure out why?
Replies: >>13076
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>>13068
To look like a negro you need to have monkey-like facial features. This is just cosplay of miners, nothing criminal here.
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>>13070
Are these toys of black guys in KKK uniforms? Disguised as white guys?
>>13075
kek
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>>13106
God I hate women so fucking much it's unreal
Replies: >>13114 >>13117
>>13113
Seethe and cope
Replies: >>13116
>>13114
dilate.
>>13113
Me too. The only reason I like Ashley is because she's basically a man in a womans body.
>>13117
Is that the only reason? I guess that's better than being a woman in a man's body. Do you hate them because they have the parts that you wish you had?
Replies: >>13119
>>13118
The majority of women are soulless shells who barely know how to hold a conversation. It's even worse with the younger generation of women. If it's not their lack of ability or interest in socializing, then it's their shockingly good ability to be mind controlled by everything they see on social media. When you're talking to a woman you're really talking to the collective consciousness of social media. It's not to say there aren't women out there who think for themselves and have a minute amount of consciousness, but the average female tends to fall in line with what I've described. The biggest turn off? How women aren't shy to be nasty behind closed doors, whether it's about their friends, husbands, or kids. Women will bitch to me about everyone in their friend group and family, that's close to all they do when you get talking. Try to get them to talk about what they like to do. It amounts to being on social media to find more bitch-fuel or watching tv. I'm also realizing how morally loose women are. I have a young female friend who wants to sell fetish pictures to her co-worker even though she has a boyfriend. My friend had a false rape accusation from his nuts girlfriend. My family pet was killed by a woman on purpose because she got drunk and angry.  Women in my life have done very evil things to me that I can't wrap my mind around. Men can do all the above, but women fall into this role much more frequently. I grow tired of dealing with them.
>inb4 have sex incel
I have and do. It doesn't change my opinion or experiences.
Replies: >>13120
>>13119
>I have and do
The funny part is, there's no "correct" yes or no to that question. If you are an incel women will use that to claim you dont know anything about them, but if you do have sex they'll use that against you too. After all, if yoy have sex with them you musr be enabling their disgusting behavior, and in some way you are, but it clearly isnt men that initiate this in the first place. If only men existed, lust would barely be any issue as most men will transfer that energy into art or some other form of work, meanwhile, if were only women they'd just defile each others bodies until they all kill and eat each other like the monkeys they are. Women are like jews if they had nigger IQs
Replies: >>13121
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>>13120
>if were only women they'd just defile each others bodies until they all kill and eat each other like the monkeys they are.
yes keep going
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>>13117
It's called tomboy and every sane man loves them.
It's the best of both worlds, a girl to love and a buddy to share your interests and hobbies in the same person.
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>>13117
>The only reason I like Ashley is because she's basically a man in a womans body.
The only reason I like Ashley is because I'm the man in her body
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I hate women so much it made me lose interest in having sex with them and now I'm gay.
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https://youtu.be/gT9Usi58EIo
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Dolphins score

https://youtu.be/j_jEpS7mGwA
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Replies: >>13247
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>>13245
just semantics
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the only reason to go to a gym tbh
Replies: >>13427 >>13429
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>>13421
>>13421
I prefer at home gym cuz muh social anxiety. I know it's in my own head, but it always feels like people are judging me for taking 3-5min breaks on a machine. Plus I don't have to wipe my cum stains off after for the next guy... kinda like me and Ashley.
Replies: >>13430
>>13429
Nah I get it, home gym is 1000% better, you can actually focus rather than worrying about what everyone else is doing/thinking, waiting for machines, etc.
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>>13432
I have 2 comments:
1.) This guy looks like ashley in one of her old walking outside videos, down to the haircut and everything
2.) That plump pajeeta was pretty cute & taking that mating press like a champ. I usually find poo women disgusitng so good for her.
Replies: >>13441 >>13444
>>13433
1. Fuck you
2. Dude, I thought the same thing. I never find streetshitters attractive, but she is actually really cute and has a nice chubby body and obviously gives her husband what he wants. 10/10.
Replies: >>13491
>>13433
>I usually find poo women disgusitng 

same, except the attractive ones tend to be really really hot.
Hard to find though
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funniest thing in this thread is anons pretending they go to the gym!
Replies: >>13470
>>13459
I only go just to feel the warmth and sweat on the equipment after being used by women.
Replies: >>13474
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>>13470
pfft thats amateur stuff... me? I hang around those e-bike places waiting for a girl with serious case of swamp ass to return one. 
Then when she walks away from the bike, I nonchalantly hop and a skip my way over and take a GIGANTIC WIIIIFFFFFFFFFFF of that sweet, sweet pussy AND asshole sweat stained bike seat.
No gym membership required!


I'm him. 
I am, THAT guy.
Replies: >>13477 >>13478
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>>13474
>>13474
One time when I was 19 I was at a park swinging on an isolated swing. After about 10 minutes I get off and this family walks up to me. The mom is smiling, telling me how I soothed her autistic 6 year old son and he was watching me swing the whole time. Then she casually says while smiling, "he's going to smell the swing" and he takes the deepest whiff of my pussy sweat from the swing. He had his nose stuck to that thing like it was the only pure air left on the Earth.

I wish I was joking. I'm not. I had to pretend that it was perfectly normal, but had I known this autist child was gonna huff my fumes, I would have stayed off that swing.
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>>13478
Replies: >>13484 >>13514
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>>13483
God I wish that were me
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i was trying the new dall e on bing
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mor
Replies: >>13511
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>>13478
Interesting story, Ash. When I was about 6 I was on a swing at the local park and this kid twice my age and size came up behind me and pushed me off. I landed on my knee, he laughed at me scarring me literally and figuratively. Although constantly trying to overcome my handicap, to this very day I find it impossible for myself to be a swinger.
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>>13441
When you gonna give me what I want?
Replies: >>13493 >>13543
>>13491
Hey just in case you didn't know, your picture is actually of a woman's vagina, not a hamburger. I made this same mistake once and the girl got really mad when I tried dipping my fries into her asshole
Replies: >>13494 >>13506
>>13493
I don't see it
>>13494
faggot
Replies: >>13506
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>>13494
You'd see it but you have to hold the pickle hold the lettuce.
Replies: >>13506 >>13507
>>13493
A kid in my class made the same mistake in high school on his presentation.

>>13494
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but if you were me, you would have posted something clever like, "Where's the beef?!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW3STrhuUQs

>>13495
Don't call my doppelgΓ€nger faggot. That's calling me faggot by proxy. You probably want to be doppelgΓ€ngbanged by us, don't you. hmmm don't have time to play with myself.

>>13496
You don't see the beef because it's still in my pants and not between those buns. Lettuce pray Ashley will hold our pickles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idnwh6iDnXA
>>13496
>Lettuce pray Ashley will hold our pickles.
I forgot to say "or else I'm going to Wendy's."
Replies: >>13508
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>>13507
>>13489
That looks very frightening.
>>13478
>>13483
fucking hell mum!
why couldnt she have used my autism as an excuse when I was 6 and got caught licking the toilet seats in the girls toilets
Got sent to the principals office and everything... sooooooooo embarrassing fml fr fr

I learnt my lesson though, only did it 4 more times.
Replies: >>13515
>>13514
>when I was 6
oops, cant edit my post but I meant 16
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>>13478
OK, I've got to give credit where credit is due. "Huff my fumes" is about the funniest analogy I've ever heard, cracks me up every time I think of it. I almost fell off a scaffold this morning when it popped into my head. Nice job on the board for Halloween btw.
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>>13478
Ashley the retard magnet hehehe oh wait fuck
>>13491
Disgusting, vulgar, and unoriginal. Just like every other woman. What a waste.
Replies: >>13545
>>13543
You could have saved her.
Replies: >>13546
>>13545
No one could anon. No one could.
Replies: >>13551
>>13546
What luck! I'm no one, no one in particular to be more precise but still no one none the less.
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Replies: >>14154
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>>14112
Dr. Robotnigg stole my chaos emerald, pls send help


Sincerely, Sonigg the Hedgehog
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Replies: >>14233 >>14244
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Delivery for Ashley Jones......Sign here please.
Replies: >>14262
>>14195
prompt: Greta Thunberg putting out a forest fire with laundry detergent, happy because the soap is working so well at dousing the flames
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>>14195
https://youtu.be/yEdDo-Cg04E
>>14198
prompt: ((( extremely medicated house wife pretends to know whats going ))), her husband on the right cusps the balls of the deliveryman. vintage television, vintage, 1girl, 1dog, multiple closeted homosexual men, (public fondling:1.6), background with a milkman and his sex partner looking on, (voyeuristic), enthusiastic, daytime ((( (Norman Rockwell painting ))), snow, cheerful, literally everyone smiling, holidays, oil painting on raw canvas, daylight, winter theme

Neg prompt: Blacks, non-whites, women's rights, shadows
Replies: >>14269
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https://youtu.be/Mp_d96GUyu0
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wyLCd6_r0yU
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>>14262
Took it too literally. Like a cola ad, dammit not pepsi :(
Replies: >>14270
>>14269
That Ashley is spot on. It even got her clown feet.
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>>14274
Seabee made that? It's learning how to be like us. Shut it down before it becomes self-aware.
>>14275
I know, right? Mommy I'm scared
Replies: >>14278 >>14291
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>>14275
>>14276
Awww, c'mon, I'm just an amateur compared to you guys
Replies: >>14279
>>14278
Seabee, we're impressed at your abilities. We weren't slamming you but praising you for your Paint skills.
Replies: >>14290 >>14291
>>14274
heh well done Seabee
capture: heh84p

>>14279
this tbqh
Replies: >>14291
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>>14290
>>14279
>>14276
>>14275

                 THANKS
https://youtu.be/TtRw9GYHmvQ
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>>14307
imagine the smell
Replies: >>14333
https://is-a-cunt.com/
>>14307
>>14310
>imagine the smell

a smell like.... shampoo and conditioner?
https://x.com/amuse/status/1716740368388030820?s=20
Replies: >>14338 >>14339
>>14337
My pizza was deliverd on time at least
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>>14337
That vid makes me feel good. I remember when I was a kid and I went to the pool with my friend. I wasn't a good swimmer at the time but he was. I saw him standing at the deep end of the pool. I went over to talk to him and I saw this little black kid flailing his arms trying to keep his head above water. I looked at my friend and asked him if he was going to help the black kid. My friend just stood there smiling as we watched the kid go down for the third time never to resurface. My friend just looked at me, smiled and said, "One less."
Replies: >>14341
>>14339
One less black kid, two more assholes.
Replies: >>14355
>>7284 (OP) 
British girls can't speak porn talk
Replies: >>14346
>>14342
i agree. british accents arent sexual at all
Replies: >>14352 >>14353
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>>14346
oi bruv i'd like to er' yous say that cheeky shit to the queen when she's crankin yous hog an whispas in yous ear some razzle dazzle!!!!11
>>14346
There's been plenty of times I've clicked on a video that looked like a decent porno only to close it the second I hear that wretched accent.
>>14341
we don't like your kind around here nigger boi
Replies: >>14359 >>14362
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>>14355
>we
Didja get lost on your way to /pol/? Everyone knows /ashleyj/ is a BBC board you filthy newfag
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>>14355
You're right. We dont like their kind, we LOVE their kind. Racial division is a reptilian psy op.
Replies: >>14374
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gp1IaXX5uSo?feature=share
Replies: >>14374
https://x.com/HumansNoContext/status/1716809382967791875?s=20
>>14362
>>14368
creamybull followed by a yt short from JSChlatt... so much diversity on transgurl.com
Replies: >>14389
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>>11079
faceswapped
>>14374
Jschlatt did 9/11 and killed the queen.
>>14388
ASHLEY, THATS NOT VEGAN
>>14388
wat wrong wid her finggies? and her mouf it no suggy suggy

this ai brokey i think u need a new1 stinky puter man
Replies: >>14410
>>14388
them balls is wrong
>>14388
Not even close to what it looks like, I would never shave my balls.
Replies: >>14409
>>14408
LOL the dick looks like feet when I first made this. Deepfake would make things abit better, though.
>>14391
Must of uploaded the wrong one that wasn't edited. But I know most of them are bad.
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https://youtu.be/gm7ayy0Cp-I
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>Officials warn of β€˜Booty Patrol’ truck they say is impersonating a Border Patrol vehicle
https://www.kmov.com/2023/10/31/officials-warn-booty-patrol-truck-they-say-is-impersonating-border-patrol-vehicle/

NO FUN ALLOWED
Replies: >>14598 >>14603
>>14551
That's probably one of the nicest trucks I have ever seen.
Replies: >>14599 >>14615
>>14598
These trucks are very common in first-world countries.
Replies: >>14656
>>14551
damn, all they wanted to do is feel up some illegal alien, Mexican, unwashed, hairy cooch? is that such a crime?
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>>14598
That truck looks basic compared to the boomer-mobiles I see. These geriatrics give all their pension to Ford for a $175k truck. I regularly see these wide hip looking trucks. Never a scratch on them, probably because these dementia patients with too much money don't use trucks for actual work, they buy them because it's a "manly" car to show off.
https://x.com/NickRigamarole/status/1720517618078023803?s=20
>>14599
No, this one is unique. This is the most beautiful patrol I have ever seen! The government got offended, that's why they are going after it, their feelings have been hurt.
>>14615
So true! I agree, a lot of the time I see a ton of them and its not just boomers. lately I have been thinking why they even buy them if they don't even use them or need them. Maybe one of the reasons why they buy them is because they are insecure and want to show off.
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>>14615
slaps the hood this bad boy right here has a towing capacity rated for 10,000 LBs, perfect for your wife!!!! (Λ†βŒ£Λ†)

picrel
Replies: >>14663
>>14658
More like fat wife.
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>>14615
yeah those "trucks" are retarded. From behind, the extra wideness of the tyre cover makes them look like a midget squatting to take a shit, plus it has to be annoying to park with them being that wide.

There are more and more people importing/buying those massive Dodge RAMS over here. they are too big for our roads and carparks so every other road users hate them.
I much prefer the Toyota Hilux, theyre hugely popular over here.
Im not a car guy but I quite like them, particularly the ones that are kited out for off-roading like pic related.

 of course, I would have no need for one and I cant afford one anyway, even if I wanted one :(
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Heh, heh
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>>14780
I think I remember seeing this on an LGR about some DOS program about managing the workplace/employees.
Replies: >>14782
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>>14781
I never saw it on LGR but I came across it whilst browsing a bunch of old software from this site
https://winworldpc.com/home

and this is the program
>Coping With Job Stress 1989
>Coping With Job Stress, from Disk-Count Software Inc, is an interactive on-disk lesson about dealing with workplace job stress. It was a cheap educational budget title. The sort of thing that would sell for $6.96 at Wal-Mart.

https://winworldpc.com/product/coping_with_job_stress/1989
Replies: >>14793
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>>14782
Working is gay.
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I saw this commercial on TV last night. I wonder what big business is trying to tell us?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wuoiQ-uUWJ0&t=2s
Replies: >>14816
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>>14811
Snuggies are supposed to be comfy not black pilling

>>14813
we are all secretly scalies or furries and that consuming [PRODUCT] will make me happier?
Replies: >>14872
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>>14816
lol true
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>>7284 (OP) 
Tony got played when he was given the first one for free.
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https://youtu.be/j0FjBD78nRo
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Replies: >>15333
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQH3XsQYT74
>>15305
I can imagine the Ash doing this for hours with her horse dildo when she is bored.
That and something else with it too.
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>>15372
This guy gets me
>>15372
I absolutely hate the way sunscreen feels so yeah this guy seems pretty based
Good Morning Mumbai!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cTxJ6nekr_A
>>15372
dude is hilarious, source?
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>>15464
kek
Replies: >>15486
>>15464
Nice vlog, seabee :D
Replies: >>15486
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>>15474
>>15481
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I hate when this happens
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>>15827
That's why it's imperative for all you "he men" out there to purchase a low flow toilet. Either that or wear protection.
Replies: >>15831
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>>15830
>Either that or wear protection.

>gotta take a shit
>put on a condom
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>>15999
phone user detected
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