/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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antiquesguy.png
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(Based on a true story) One day, asking a stranger for a quick favor turns into a 90-minute hellscape fiasco.
https://videos.icum.to/w/rnfkwZ5sxuLLhvsWLw7AgE
DOG TUMMY

why was that guy mentioning his dad so many times? :(
Replies: >>4600
Everyone must contribute a little bit to the following sentence.
>One time my dad and I...
Cool story and cute doggo
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my honest reaction
Replies: >>4758 >>4764 >>4770
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Finally someone asked Ashley to reach something at the top of the shelf.
Antiques Guy looks like yoba in OP.
Jealous of the guy ash picked to make videos with her
>>4587
Probably your best video yet Ash, keep up the great work!
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>>4587
Replies: >>4621
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>>4587
Replies: >>4621
I like that slight smile you made after saying the the word "nigger".
Ashley, I liked your hair. Can't wait to pull it as you tell me "No, don't stop." I really want to go thrifting with you now. I promise I will keep you and won't flip you to a sex trafficker.
Replies: >>4604
>>4589
His dad taught him everything he knows. He was just trying to pass along his arcane secrets to Ashley. Ngl, I meet guys like this all the time at comic shops. You talk to them once and they act like your dog when you finally arrive home everytime they see you. I think it's because their dad told them what to do all the time and they don't know any better so they get attached easily to others when their dad is no longer in the picture.
Replies: >>4602 >>4606
>>4600
that's what I thought :(
poor guys, we need to bring back bullying maybe that would help
Ashley looks like Uncle Eddie from Grounded for Life. https://youtube.com/watch?v=zZPp8yiosUQ [Embed]
>>4599
the 70s vintage hair is appropriate for the video but I like it shorter
that Hey hey he Hey Hey Hey Hey straight into another bs story part cracked me up
>>4600
This is actually a great explanation. I've encountered guys like this too. You can tell they're a little off, psychologically. But you're nice to them just to be polite. Then, they think you're their new best friend. Describing it like a dog after you just get home is exactly what it's like.

My first experience like this was in high school. There was this kid who was an extremely late bloomer, something like 14-15 and clearly hadn't hit puberty, so of course people made fun of him. To top it off he was a big teacher's pet and just generally weird. Picking your nose and eating it kind of weird. I can't remember the exact details but I think some other kid was making fun of him, and I took pity I guess you could say, so I stuck up for him. I felt bad for this poor hairless boy who was constantly getting shit on. That can't be an easy life.

It was a huge mistake, because he followed me everywhere after that. As an adult now I can see he was probably just desperate for a friend, but when I was a kid I was already nowhere near one of the "cool kids" and I was freaked out that this smooth little weirdo was getting his stink all over me. It was hard enough trying to get laid as a teenager without all the girls knowing your best pal is the prepubescent honor roll student. I'm pretty sure I just avoided him to the extreme until he got the message.

I switched schools the next year, so I don't know if he ever hit puberty. Maybe he's still wandering around out there, picking his nose and enjoying the silky-smooth feel of his scrotum. Who knows.

Thank you for reading my blog.
If you can only get the Carl's Jr. hat by working there, then how did Ashley get one? Was Ashley a burger flipper?
Replies: >>4608
>>4607
She's a bean flipper.
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Any particular reason you chose to wear this shirt, Ashley? I always thought it was funny he gave her lines for eyes. Lol, subtle racism.
Replies: >>4612
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Fuck Yo I'm Eating™
Replies: >>4622
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>2 close encounters with sex traffickers 
This actually concerns me. Do you carry anything on you to protect yourself against any creeps you meet IRL?
Replies: >>4613 >>4614 >>4619
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>>4609
Turns out that shirt is worth scads of buckaroos
>>4611
basado
>>4611
Assuming she at least has pepper spray or something
Replies: >>4617
that little look over towards the camera as walks over to the shelf to get something for Ashley (around 1m24sec mark) is like he is thinking to himself "time to work my magic, educate this youngin, ok"
>>4614
Spicy Mexican farts are the best form of self defense
I think the coyotes have an immunity to that. She might get trafficked
>>4611

hair
>>4596
>>4597
These facebook-tier posts are admirable. Never change, Seabee.
Replies: >>4623
>>4610
That's a fake listing. You can't buy those, after someone quits working at Carls Jr. their hat disappears.
>>4621

How old is he
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>>4587

I like to imagine that Antiques Guy and Barry would be great friends.

Antiques Guy would get to ramble on about flipping, antiques, etc and Barry would be content just listening, happy to be away from his wife, Linda, and sipping on a cold one, occasionally replying "Yep" to one of Antiques Guy's many stories of which Barry never understands as, lets be honest, Barry is a bit of a dumbass (he did eat lead paint chips after all).
Every now and again Barry would begin complaining to Antiques Guy about his wife or how young people are lazy, only to have Antiques Guy sharply interrupt with a "My Dad and I..." story or sometimes just plainly telling Barry to "Shut the fuck up, ok" but its never meant in a mean way.
Even though Antiques Guy may sometimes come across as being rude to Barry, Barry doesn't mind at all and on Sundays Barry invites Antiques Guy over to his big house and the two get together to watch the football game (even though Antiques Guy has no interest in football)
Barry hopes one day to invite Antiques Guy to one of his boys only trips where they sleep in the same tent and "hunt for deers"

It would be a strange friendship, with neither ever realizing, let alone understanding what bonds their friendship together. But a great friendship that would last many years.
Replies: >>4625
>>4624
This is great. We saw little cameos of Barry and Linda at the end of the tranny movie, so maybe she'll bring them back? Barry and antiques guy would definitely get along.
This video had too much fucking. Or not enough, I can't remember. Anyway, I give it a four out of five.
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She is so cute bros
Replies: >>4629 >>4640 >>4765
>>4628
she looks like a 18 guy lmao
Replies: >>4643
this is a lot like me and ashley.jpg
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>>4628
She's too cute. She gives me chest pains.
>>4629
aight
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I knew a girl in high school who kinda looked like Ashley in that pic. Her dad also looked like the serial killer Richard Kuklinski which was both intimidating but also kinda funny to me because I used to watch documentaries about him and other killers (criminology fascinates me, I'm not dangerous) so whenever I went to their house for dinner it always felt a bit eerie since I thought each meal would be my last before being strangled to death.
Replies: >>4646
>>4644
I'm very sorry Canadabro, I'm playing with board's flags and accidentally enabled location flags, but now they're off and the location flags have still stayed. I am also not dangerous.
Replies: >>4647 >>4648
>>4646
I already knew he was a fucking leaf.
Replies: >>4648
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>>4646
All good. It just shows that you have fans from around the world. Your return has kept me warm during this cold, bitter season.
>>4647
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LqQCyAQBgXY [Embed]
Leafs are fine. They get a bad rap because  it’s all chinks
Replies: >>4675
>>4658
East Indians as well. They're generally contained in major cities though. There's less of them in small towns and rural areas which is nice.
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people are saying she wears a wig in this, I thought her hair had just grown to that length?
Also, you can get troll dolls that you stick on the end of pencils. And when I said "stick on the end of pencils" I meant you ram that pencil up the trolls ass.

And anyone else slowmo replay certain shots, hoping to see some sweet, sweet Ashley sideboob?
No?... just me? Cant be!
Replies: >>4707
>>4706
>And anyone else slowmo replay certain shots, hoping to see some sweet, sweet Ashley sideboob?
I'll settle for nothing less than Ashley frontboob. She best be pluckin' those nips though.
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It's training day boyos. What are you guys stuffing in your intestines today?
>>4737
There’s no homos here you retarded nigger!
Replies: >>4753
>>4737
Just got my training butt baby in. I'm training to store cardboard cutouts in my intestines. Maybe I'll steal a camping tent or deflated inflatable raft and shove that right up into my colon. The possibilities are endless! Well, if by endless I mean 7ft of intestines. If something ever gets too far stuck up there you just pop a laxative and you'll find it in no time.
>>4738
Hey pal there's nothing homosexual about training your anus to store thousands of dollars worth of valuable treasures. I haven't found too many treasures yet, but when I do I know I will be ready because I've been training a lot lately.
Replies: >>4766
Guys, I don't know what it is but it feels really good when I train. Maybe it's because I know I'm going to make thousands of dollars.
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>>4592
She likes pugs because they help her normalize her fas
>>4592
n1 anon, saved
>>4628
After all those comments of hers during the streams, I now cannot stop thinking that she is the only one posting these
Replies: >>4768 >>4769
>>4753
It is really gay, homos enjoy that because that’s how they fantasize and practice so they can get rammed form behind. It’s also unhealthy and dangerous.
Replies: >>4767
>>4766
This guys trying to prevent us from getting THOUSANDS. Don't listen to him, brothers.
Replies: >>4773
>>4765

Thatsthejoke
>>4765

Thatsthejoke
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>>4592
I love the way she raises her voice 0:06-0:19. Oh no, I think I have an Ashley voice fetish.
Replies: >>4771
>>4770
I like her accent, she reminds me of Clarice Starling from Silence Of The Lambs the way she pronounces certain words, most notably the ones with Rs in them.
Replies: >>4772
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>>4771
Yea, I know. I always liked the sound of her voice and her accent even going back to 2014.
>>4767
I don't recommend losing thousands on medical bills. Injuring your anus or someones is expensive.
Replies: >>4776
>>4773
That's just called an investment. You have to spend money to make money.
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I want to see a TV show with Antiques Guy traveling across country, thrifting and flipping, whilst Ashley Jones reluctantly tags along because she is too polite to say that she has to leave.

Thinking of trying to make a commercial for it too. Unsure how it will turn out as my video editing skills suck plus I need a voice over work for it. Maybe a txt to speech will be sufficient
Replies: >>4780 >>4781
>>4779
Anon this is a masterpiece. Their slight painted look lends well to these types of covers. The lore one needs to fully appreciate this cover. It's awesome. Is alien anon willing to lend his voice for a commercial?
Replies: >>4800 >>4801
>>4779
>Super Casino Twin Pack
Nice throw back
Replies: >>4800
>>4780
Thanks.
Im just going to see if I can make it a decent commercial first before I ask for any VA, but he would probably do a good job of it.

>>4781
I wonder if shes got any new/old games recently from thrifting


So I need a tagline for the ad.
What sounds better
A. Thrift, Buy and Flip
or
B. Thrift and Flip



and follow the tagline after with something like "With the masters of flipping. American Flippers, starts Wednesday 10pm Only on the History channel.


I want A because it has 3 words, but unsure if Buy is the right word.
So it go
Voice-over: Thrift
>clip of show
Voice-over: Buy
>clip of show
Voice-over: and flip
>clip of show
Voice-over: With the masters of flipping
Replies: >>4849 >>4854
>>4780
Whoever did the last one wasn’t alienon. I think he might have moved on. I don’t think he has posted since November
Replies: >>4802
>>4801
Alienon has been dead for years
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he was abducted
The new alienoon has a much deeper, sexier dulcet voice (it’s me btw)
Replies: >>4813
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>>4809
>>4587
>>4587


The Collective Unconscious
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The Collective Unconscious 

With Vocaroo link

https://voca.ro/17lqEDyj1SGp
Replies: >>4819 >>4820
>>4814
Me too. I'm working on getting a job too. Been cutting into my internet funds since my trumpbuxx dried up. You can always be a single mom and apply for FAFSA to go back to school. Take the opportunity to learn a new skill and enjoy spending your leftover funds on things other than getting your nails and hair done.
>>4814
I forgot to mention, I had a cherry bomb blow up in my hand once. Lucky for me, I didn't lose any fingers. I escaped with only a burn on my palm. It had a faulty fuse. It exploded as soon as I lit it.
Replies: >>4821
>>4820
my friend had an M80 do that very thing..He said the moment he lit it he knew it was a quick fuse..and as he threw it it went off and he said he could tell by the shock wave that went threw his that it would have blown his fingers off if it had went off..for my self, i used to do a lot of firework wars..woudl bring a sling shot and cigar and loss those fuckers at people, once i had a fuse blow back from a bottle rocket and hit my eyelid..that was end of my fire work wars.
Replies: >>4823
getting your hands blown off would suck since you're basically useless by that point. I saw a video of some teens fucking around with fireworks at some car show and one of them lost their vision while the other lost both of his hands. No more playing videogames, no more jerking off, no more piecing together Gundam action figures, may as well off yourself.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9115377/Teen-18-blows-hands-trying-throw-mortar-style-firework-San-Antonio.html
Replies: >>4824
>>4821
Yeah, I had a smoke bomb blow up on me while I was playing paintball innawoods with my friends. I almost lost an eye as a kid because I threw I spray can into a fire and it exploded. I was hit in the face with shrapnel and the spray nozzle hit me square between the eyes. One in a million shot. The funny thing was, after I had threw it into the fire, I was clear across the yard and it still hit me. I was helping my grandfather burn yard debris and he had no idea I had threw it in the fire. When it exploded, he dropped to the ground like they taught him in the military, lmao. I've also been shot and heard the bullets zipping by me but not one hit me. I didn't know what it was and then my neighbors freaked out when they saw a kid walk out from the woods down range. They were shooting paper targets. All of this has added to my sense of invincibility. Which is not necessarily a good thing, not trying to boast, but I'm braver than most. It didn't help being popped by lightning either. I kind of believe that things happen for a reason now. I don't know whether it's destiny, fate or karma or guarian angels but I've had too many close calls for it just to be dumb luck.
>>4822
>Gundam action figures
You mean model kits, right? I actual prefer the action figures because they are already built and you can play with them and make noises like an autistic child. I have quite the Gundam collection, anon.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3-ZUDtaGf3I [Embed]
Replies: >>4828
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>>4824
I don't own any action figures or model railway, planes, etc. but I enjoy looking at them at flea markets. I did see unopened packages of Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield from Resident Evil each for like $20. I still regret not buying them to this day because that's the cheapest I've seen them go for.
Replies: >>4834
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>>4828
I found this at the local flea market for a few bucks. I found out it was rare and going for over $100 online. I wanted to open it but opted for waiting until I came across a loose one and reselling this one and it was stolen from me. If I had opened it, it would have never been taken, lmao. The thief only took my figures still in the package, not my loose stuff.
Replies: >>4839
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Btw, I'm a big fan of Mad Max. "My dad and I" (lol) used to watch these when I was a kid. I was a fan before it was cool. Parts of Agent Game were filmed in my city and Mel Gibson stayed at the inn right across from my apartment. I hope I meet him someday so I can tell him that I tried to meet him before when he was my neighbor for a few days. This inn isn't huge like a hotel or resort, it's tiny compared to others but it's world famous and lots of celebrities stay there. My friend lived in the same apartment building that I did. He walked outside one evening to get into his car and Rihanna was just sitting on the steps and he thought he was hallucinating. Pic related is the last "celebrity" I saw. My friend got to meet him.
>>4834

>it was stolen from me
Wouldn’t have happened if you were storing it in your colon
Replies: >>4844
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>>4737
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>>4839
But that's where I keep my geodes.
Replies: >>4845
>>4844
>The fuckin ill transparency pattern leggings
Replies: >>4849
>>4800
>So I need a tagline for the ad.
>What sounds better
>A. Thrift, Buy and Flip
>or
>B. Thrift and Flip

So A or B?

>>4845
??? i dont see any leggings?
>>4800
Flip your shit
Speaking of flipping shit. I worked with a guy who flipped houses on the side and he would come across some cool stuff abandoned by their previous owners. One day when I was helping him out we came across some old penthouse magazines, a Coca-Cola cooler, Zippo lighter, a tricycle and some tools left in a rotted shed. It was all vintage too so he got some extra money out of that. I wish I grabbed that Zippo before he did...
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Met Antiques Guy in local antiques store parking lot. He was packing some geodes up his asshole and we noticed he took every geode from the whole store. My buddy yelled out "Hey, that was what I was going to buy" he shot us a geode each, straight from his ass.
Super cool down to earth guy
Really? He kind of looks like a qt tomboy with some soot on her face
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>>4737
Ashley, are you a geologist because I'm rock hard right now.
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Ashley, I plan to start flipping soon. Gonna hit a lot of garage sales. Have you ever known anyone who sells merch out of the trunk of their car? I know a lot of people that do that. Gonna hit them up too.
Replies: >>4971
>>4965
Ashley is gone my guy. That is a friggin cute illustration of a dolphin though. He looks like he genuinely wants to help.
Replies: >>4989
THIS COMEBACK HAS MEANT NOTHING


I wish I had the money to buy a flipper zero it looks so cool
She will be black.
*back
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Ashley is not gone. She just posted on /pol/. https://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/414900258
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She's busy she'll text you later
Replies: >>14983
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They just shot her down.
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>>4971
NOOOOOOOO SHE HASN'T LEFT US.
SHE JUST WENT OUT TO THE STORE FOR SOME CIGARETTES AND KY JELLY.
SHE WILL BE BACK.
I guess we’re going to do the ashley left meme every time she goes more than a week without a video or posting as board owner. I will say her website needs a 2023 update tho
Replies: >>4993
>>4991
seabees doxxed and bianca'd her
Seabee wouldn’t do that. He a good boy. If anything he would take pics and share them with the board.
Replies: >>4995
>>4994
Seabee has been quite quiet lately tho
Because people lurk and don't post until ashley does
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Well there's going to be more people posting now because... THE STICKERS CAME!
stickers > cards
Cards are for nards. Stickers are the way to go. More invasive and get more eyeballs. I'm going to be sticking these pups all over the place. First spot I have planned is the arcade. Stick around to see what happens.
Replies: >>5007 >>5008 >>5009
Nice. The inside of bathroom stalls should work.
>>5005
Put one on the bumper of your car
>>5005
unironically badass. gj dude
>>5005
Those look really great!
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Thanks ashfam. I’m trying to think up a way to distribute stickers to everyone while keeping anonymity. Really the only way I can think to do it is PO Boxes.  It would be cool to have the same stickers popping up all over the country like the Toynbee tiles mystery.
Replies: >>5014
>>5013
I would try to find a small business printer or hobbyist-ran type site. They would be more willing to work with you on a special request.

Communicate with the owner that you want to get stickers for members of your online group, but since everyone in the group is privacy minded, you want to pay for the stickers without knowing the address of the recipients.

Ask if you can open an account with a $100 credit (or whatever). You want that credit to apply toward the creation of a set number of special coupon codes. Say each order costs $5 to fulfill. You would get 20 coupon codes. The coupons are only valid for Ashley-related stickers. Any modern online sales platform managed by a non-retard should be able to accomplish this quite easily.

Distribute the coupon codes to trusted Ashlings only.

Since the coupons are valid for only 1 order, and it has to be a pre-designed Ashley related sticker, the odds of having people "steal" this way are pretty slim.

Unless ashlings think that you're collaborating with a sticker website to get their addresses, there's no reason not to simply place the order. If they want to use a P.O. box or whatever, that's up to them.
Good idea. There are five or six big name sticker websites. I’m sure one of them will do something like that. There’s nothing but 10 or so of us it shouldn’t be a huge pain in the ass for them.  Alternatively I could maybe set up an inbox on the ashley jones clip channel. If you have a P.O. Box or some kind of anonymous address that you could pick them up at I can send them there. We’ll think of something
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Next time you’re in a public restroom. Look up.
Replies: >>5061 >>5100
>>5056
Where is that?
Replies: >>5062
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>>5061
Some shitty dive I went to for lunch. Here’s a street light downtown near the terminal. I think it looks good
Replies: >>5083
>>5062
Do you have any skateboard shops nearby? Go put a stack on the counter.
>>5056
Based. Did you drop any more?
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Yeah my goal is to do once a day. More of a symbolic gesture
Replies: >>5104 >>5113
>>5102
I don't know about that one. That seems like a violation of some sort. I would have put it on thte door frame at the top of the door so people would see it when they leave.
Replies: >>5120
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>>5102
have fun in prison
Replies: >>5116 >>5120
>>5113
if thats all it takes for me to be in prison with that sexy greased up ape, i'll take 50 of those stickers right now!!!
>>5104
>>5113
Its not covering any of the the sensors or the alarm or battery lighting, but this is JOE BIDEN'S AMERICA so who knows
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Outside the trans women restroom at the dunkin donos this time
Replies: >>5129
>>5127
>trans women bathroom
kek. good sticker design by the way, its easy to make out the site. valentines day is coming up. maybe someone who gets roses this year will also be a new fan?
You want me to put the stickers in bouquets? Eh I can probably make that happen
>>4980
Theres a joke here about this and the 725-CUM-FART phone line...
Replies: >>14984
>>14983
Yeah shes too busy getting RAVAGED by FAT BITCHES to return my phone calls
Replies: >>14986
>>14984
Use a female voice changer and prank call her
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someones been watching Antiques Guys video's and taking notes.
Has no one else spotted the easter egg in this video?

No not the egg that looks like a pixie shat and farted all over a kinder egg, Im talking about this little thing at appears at ~5:41 of the video
Ive watched this soo many times but never noticed that part.
What the hell is it?
Replies: >>14990 >>15003
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>>14989
oops, here is the pic of it.
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>>14989
OK retards, can we figure out what it is??????
Ive provided both the scene itself unedited and also 2 different slowed downie, zoomed in versions

Impotent to nut is that prior to this lil nugget egg, the question Antiques guy asks is "do you know what this is?" then this little secret is shown before he tells people about geodes.

What do you think it is?
imo it looks like a female face, what its doing?... idk

plus random shot of Ash throwing up gang signs
>>15003
good eye, never noticed that before. looks like ET
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>>15003
It's either spurdo, gondola, or domo-kun. Which one exactly is hard to say, but I'm confident that it's one of them.
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>>15003
>>15003
It looks like an ayylien flipped sideways. Is ashley coming out as an alien?
>>15007
>domo-kun
But where is Tahiti?
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>>15003
Looks like a doggo to me.
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>>15003
It's something moving in the scenery where this retard was filming, something the greenscreen partially failed to hide

Looks like the top of one of those gates/fences that people put in their houses to prevent dogs from entering certain rooms (the shape, the perspective/positioning and the perfectly horizontal motion led me to the idea, also its height compared to Ash's). The gate was probably left unlocked and Bandit invaded the place by pushing it (the gate first rocks forward, and then right back as Bandit sneaks in, i dunno). I might be off the mark though. From what i recall, i believe Ash expicitly told me she doesn't really mind "dogs entering certain rooms" iF u kNoW whAt i mEan


Attatched is a highly advanced reconstruction illustrating the potential dynamics behind the event

SVNTV out

*has big ass*
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>>15021
Amazing depiction anon, that's pretty much exactly how I imagine the behind the scenes of the greenscreen videos would look.

Instead of the dog gate fence thing, could it be part of the green screen apparatus itself? like one of these clips?

My other theory is that it's Ashley's scary lesbian "girl"friend
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>>15013

I spoke to him and he told me that he was very busy building a bunker for himself and his family.
Desu.
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>>15030
>his famiry
Are you talking about the million little girls he produced with Ashley in his fanfiction >>>9241
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>>15034

No. I was referring to his grandfather, mom, dad and siblings.
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>>15016
it does look a bit like Bandit, colour and shape wise there is a resemblance. Speaking of fitting, perhaps its a photo of Bandit showing off his geode collecting skills?

>>15021
*notices your big ass*
Excellent theory and you might be right, theres also a bit of something that appears at the same time the mysterious object does. It is down near the bottom of the glass or see grey-thing.gif for more information.
Nice drawing of Antiques Guy too heh


I just cant get over the timing of when it appears. Maybe its just a coincidence that it enters the video just before Antiques Guy answers the question he posed to the cute midget cosplaying as David Cassidy, that question being "do you know what this is?"
And the movement is to smooth as well, like its an object in a video editor thats been motioned/moved with keyframing.
That plus the timing of this imo means it has to be a secret answer of some kind.

As for what this mystery object might be, I was non-sexuually thinking about Ambatukam and his asshole, when it reminded of something else that shit comes out of... Ashley's mouth.

We know she enjoys gaping her mouth hole by inserting large objects such as sub sandwiches, sexual pleasure devices molded into the shape of equine genitalia (see exhibit A) so therefore it stands to reason that this could be a secret photo of her stuffing her mouth hole with something.
Only thing that makes me doubt if its her is the hair, however we know Ashley has a lot of skeletons wigs in her closet, so it could just be her wearing one of them.
I think it does resemble someone leaning forward and holding something up to their mouth. I drew an artistic breakdown of it to demonstrate this further, see exhibit B


In conclusion: I have too much spare time and need to get a life holy shit fml
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