/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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I feel the desire to reply to some things I have read on https://icum.to/ Unfortunately, I have a full-time job and adult responsibilities to attend to as well, but I’ll go ahead and get some of my thoughts out now.

On Meat;
Eating purely vegan is a luxury we are only afforded by virtue of living in modern times. Yes, you can supplement and be (mostly) healthy, but this is to match what eating a balanced meat and vegetable diet will already do without needing supplements that we have to produce with measured, modern science. Otherwise, you are missing key nutrients that are fairly difficult to source (again, without modern easily accessible supplements). Also, we absorb meat protein significantly more efficiently than we do any kind of plant protein. And don’t hit me with that “if you want to eat meat then raise the cattle yourself and kill it” bullshit, be fucking for real. This hasn’t been the case since our species switched to building agrarian societies. I do however think you should be *okay* doing this (killing the animal) if you are a meat eater, and that the processes therein should not be hidden from the layman. This should be entirely transparent, even to children. I think the fact we don’t operate this way as a society speaks volumes to how we want people to perceive things (i.e., behind a veil) but that’s another tangent. Carnivore diet “people” are retarded, we never were and never will be carnivores. We are omnivores and operate best in this state.
Personally, I shop from my local co-op that has a meat department which sources everything from local farms. I can track exactly where it came from, how it was treated and how it was slaughtered. It costs a decent bit more than something like Wal-Mart but I think that’s a worthwhile trade-off. Also, it tastes way, way better. I believe you can taste when something has had evil done unto it. That is my schizo-statement of the day.

On Technology;
Myself and one or two of my friends have tried the whole “Let’s switch to [insert FOSS alternative to popular chatting software] so our friends can chat securely!” thing. It doesn’t work. It never, ever works and it’s never going to work. The internet is no longer by and for people who may be so inclined to install or tinker or learn. People do not want to do these things. They want to talk to their friends, their family, etc. and they are going to use whatever those people use. Inevitably, that is going to be the most accessible, easy to use thing. What WILL change is these services eventually erode, they get more boisterous with advertisements, they slow down, and just generally become shit. These are things that 90% of people DO notice (the other 10% stay behind and populate the old platforms like a ghost town. “I’m used to it!” is something I often hear, specifically with Facebook). These are things that allow up-and-comers to take market share and become the new de-facto social hub. This is exactly what happened with Discord. Most people used Skype or splintered off into the “nerdier” camps of TeamSpeak and Mumble, etc. prior to this, but Discord was easy to use for normies and had the quality out of the box that would take maintenance time and effort for someone coming from TeamSpeak. I would also like to briefly cover some of the alternatives provided,
-	Mastodon: This is the only remotely successful alternative here, while most normies left to Threads (e.g., the exact opposite, but it’s new and easy to use) the more “technical” Twitter users came here. I think it’s fairly active but it’s only those kinds of people.
-	Friendica: Barren wasteland. Facebook users are all Boomers and retarded Gen-Xers anyway so those people are locked in for life.
-	Pixelfed: Not a single Instagram user I know is going to use this. Uber-normies, band accounts, local restaurants / businesses, etc. are literally never going to switch to this.
-	Element: I have an entire rant about Element but tl;dr it’s trying to copy the look of something like Discord but ends up being a buggy mess and you still need to be “tech brained” to resolve certain errors that it throws. Hell, I’ve heard the tech-brained argument about DISCORD too. The underlying tech is fine, but the UX still needs tons of work. And having two clients (Element and Element X) is exactly the kind of shit that confuses the hell out of normies. I’ve found the most success in getting *some* of my friends to use Signal (emphasis on the “some”).
-	PeerTube: This one is also moderately successful, but I would argue it serves a different purpose to YouTube (where YouTube really doesn’t encourage embedding to other sites or personal pages anymore, PeerTube suits this use-case very well).
-	Aether: Okay Reddit is so shit that I might be tempted to try this one. But again, look at all the shit I just wrote and the fact I’m on this website. There are several things being selected for already that do not encompass the average Reddit user.
“Is the extra 1-7 seconds of convenice is really worth the data collection to you?”
This is either highly disingenuous, or highly unaware of how most normal people think. People have walls against change, and they have ten walls around change that involves any alteration to their existing habits, and one hundred walls when you add extra work. And no, for most people it’s not “1-7 seconds” it’s losing access to the people they want to talk to and having to work to get those people on this new platform with absolutely no value proposition other than some vague idea of “security” because no normie is going to really, genuinely understand what that means to them (or care). Normies, the largest userbase of any of these services, do not think like you and I. Trying to use arguments that may convince someone like us is a fool’s errand.
The nice little bow that wraps all of this together is that people are retarded. They want the easiest thing. If there is not an app for it and their friends aren’t on it, end of discussion. I have had this talk with normies hundreds of times. People don’t care about encryption, they don’t care about their data, they don’t care about ANY OF IT. They can’t even conceptualize it, much less care to. Janice will check Instagram because she wants to see what events are coming up this weekend in her local area and maybe see if Facebook Marketplace has any cool new wooden dressers that she can chalk paint and ruin.
I go out of my way to not actively use these services as much as possible, however I enjoy living my life and talking to people I care about. I enjoy meeting new people, I enjoy doing new things, going to concerts, trying new local restaurants, going to events like concerts or shows, etc. I do as much of this as I can in-person and checking out posters that advertise this kind of stuff but the ground truth is that if you want to really live life and connect with people in the modern world you need to interface with this shit to some degree. You need to be able to balance “Oh yeah I’ll follow your [band/local business/cool person] Insta!” vs. “Um actually Instagram is an evil gay reptilian PSYOP that you should never use also get rid of your phone” and coming across like an actual psychopath. The logical endpoint of what you propose is going full Richard Stallman and proselytizing Free Software everywhere you go… with the difference being that Stallman has the credentials and resume to back up literally everything he says. What do you have? What gives your words credibility to an outsider looking in? Are you actually working to convince people and building the bridge to get them there, or are you just spouting what you believe by way of literal word-vomit in desperate need of proof-reading and calling it a day?

Anyway, that’s enough for now. I will probably write more in reply to the “Convictions” entries, but I have gone well over my lunch break getting this out. Peace.
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>>25705
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>>25706
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>>25703 (OP) 
are you calling my sweet dear ashley retarded????? she is not retarded, and you are stupid.
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>>25703 (OP) 
>Myself and one or two of my friends....
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>>25707
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>>25720
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What a nice series of replies to my post :)
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>>25729
>Eating purely vegan is a luxury we are only afforded by virtue of living in modern times.
>Personally, I shop from my local co-op
>It costs a decent bit more than something like Wal-Mart but I think that’s a worthwhile trade-off.
eating plants isn't a luxury
also, ashley is vegetarian, not vegan
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>>25728
>>25729
Let's have the convictions one next.
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>>25733
this. alternatively, do "my laws if I made laws" https://icum.to/dogvids/
>taking the CUMFART girl of the TUBGIRL board seriously
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>>25735
Fr fr no cap sussy bussy sauce.
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>>25736
F-Fuck
R-Rape
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>>25737
why are you stuttering?
Replies: >>25751
>>25737
fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape meuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me fuckin rape me
>>25738
I have michaal fox disease j-j-jizziligo in me finggy
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A busy day.
>>25759
Nice phone screenshot faggot
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>>25759
what the hell is a hidden user?
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No hate, but all of Jones' takes seem like complete dogshit. Why should any human even care about the suffering of another animal of a different _species_, that does not increase the likelyhood of human survival by not suffering, in the first place?

> A pig can feel love, joy, and play. They can also feel pain, torture, sadness, and confusion.

Because of this quote, I am speculating that this might be yet another case of female selfishness, as outlined quite decently by Lanza before, see https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/lanza.selfish.pdf .

> I watch slaughterhouse footage and I love meat still." This simply cannot be. Why would you then at the same time hate satanists for consuming babies, or Asians for having dog meat markets? But it's okay for you to consume a living being?

KEK, what kind of assumptions are those? The only thing that matters is that as much of your genotype survives as possible. So you probably do not want kpop fans, with whom you share human-relatively little, to consume food with higher protein quality, see https://sci-hub.ru/10.1016/j.numecd.2010.12.008 , than you.
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>>25764
>kpop fans
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>>25764
>Why should any human even care about the suffering of another animal of a different _species_, that does not increase the likelyhood of human survival by not suffering, in the first place?
You've convinced me. I used to be a vegetarian like Ashley, but after reading your post, I'm going to finally give in to my deepest, darkest desires and start killing animals. I'll begin by decapitating my neighbor's daughter's new puppy. I've also been getting pretty sick of my cat lately. brb, gonna go light him on fire. It's not like he ever contributed to my survival!

>inb4 noooo you can't hurt the heckin doggos and kitties but it's ok if it's cows or pigs

stop being a retarded edgyboi plz
>>25767
>inb4 noooo you can't hurt the heckin doggos and kitties but it's ok if it's cows or pigs
Yes. 
“edgelord” lol
It is perfectly ok to have categories of animals that we deem not “to eat” and those we deem “to eat”
Especially if we have a historically social dynamic between, ESPECIALLY in regards to Dogs, and in more modern times, Cats.
Get out of here with the absolutely kpop fanliciously gay “all or nothing” black and white BULLSHIT.
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>>25769
Ohhh, right. So YOU get to pick and choose which animals are ok to torture and slaughter, and which ones get to cuddle up at your feet and get good boi headpats right?

Am I allowed to pick and choose too? Is it fine if I like to fuck dogs (chihuahuas mostly) and then toss them in the microwave when I'm done? They're not contributing to my survival, and they're just dumb animals like cows, pigs, or chickens. What's the difference?

Oh... wait... you think THAT'S unacceptable, but factory farming conditions are fine? Where the animals live in piss and shit and darkness and suffer horribly all so that you can have a tasty cheeseburger or chicken nuggets, you fat fuck?

Your logic boils down to
cute = don't eat
I don't like it = OK to eat

Look at what you said:
>Why should any human even care about the suffering of another animal of a different _species_, that does not increase the likelyhood of human survival by not suffering, in the first place?
And yet you IMMEDIATELY pull back from your edgelord argument the moment I suggest torturing and killing your family pet. You're a hypocrite and a cunt.
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>>25770
No.
First of all, I'm not the dude who posted the meat chud.
Secondly, did you pass elementary school? I think you need to work on your reading comprehension.
>"...we have a historically social dynamic..."
>we
Plural. Many. Referring to humanity collectively, in this case most aptly as a society, civilization, or otherwise collection of similar people with similar ideals. That is how these things have been hashed out for thousands of years you retarded fool.
India treats the cow as holy. That's fine, that's their prerogative and they can do so. I can make any logical argument about how the relationship a human has with a cow is fundamentally different than a dog, but that's in-part my western cultural heritage showing.
Moreover, everything you just typed is based on the moral rulings of the individual, beginning and ending with one person's judgment. If you want to be looked at like a psychopath in the eyes of others, sure go ahead. But what you portrayed is not my argument and I think you know it you disingenuous ingrate.
Do you know why humans find babies cute? Why that's rooted into our subconscious? It's so we don't kill them, you absolute buffoon. If you knew literally anything about what it means to be human, both spiritually and physiologically, you would understand that this tracks. It's, quite literally, only illogical if you're a drooling retard.
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>>25771
>Everyone else has this opinion
>Now I have this opinion too
>You don't have the same opinion, now I'm mad!
peak NPC behavior
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>>25772
Generally agreed upon sets of morals and rules are the only reason why humans have come to a position of dominating this planet, it's the only reason any culture exists at all and it's what you are a product of.
You think you know better than that?
Post a timestamped picture of your bedroom right now. I bet you live in filth.
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>>25773
lol. lmao even. An NPC and proud of it, eh? M-muh generally agreed!! everyone else says!! Do what everyone else is doing or... or it'll be bad!!!

What a pussy you are. Just go eat another cheeseburger, we all know that's what this is really about. You want that tasty yummy dead flesh in your mouth. But you don't wanna feel bad about it. :'(
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>>25773
>Generally agreed upon sets of morals and rules are the only reason why humans have come to a position of dominating this planet
We don't dominate this planet, we live along side with it
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>>25774
I'm waiting on that room pic you filthy pig. It's always people like you who appeal to "le individualist ideal" and yet I bet most of your shit is taken care of for you. You're not an individualist, you just aren't conscious.
>>25775
I don't know, given how we've paved over so much of this planet and routinely cause remigration and occasionally extinction of animals, alongside factory farming, I think dominate might be the right word.
We SHOULD live alongside it, I agree. This does not mean being vegetarian, either. Different discussion.
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>>25776
Yawn. You can't win the actual argument (reminder: your position is that it's good to torture and slaughter animals because everyone else says it's OK) so you go for weak ass personal attacks about... personal hygiene? Yes, I'm soooo filthy, my room is totally messy and I'm gross and icky!!! Is that what you wanted to hear, little woman?
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>>25777
Nice trips, faggot.
And no, that's not what I said. Thank you for putting words in my mouth. I have significant issues with factory farming, and people's opinion on it is largely influenced by the fact that we have a greedy, fat, self-absorbed culture. That will take care of itself eventually. What I have no issue with is eating meat, especially from animals we have no significant social history with, and your verbiage of "slaughter" and "torture" makes it evident you don't have the mental capability to differentiate the two. 
You can put the ## Board Owner tag back on, by the way.
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>>25778
>well uhh the way other people eat animals is kinda bad I guess
>but not the way *I* eat animals!!! I do it the right way!
Not ashley, btw. There are plenty of us who think people like you are disgusting.
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>>25779
Le sigh... anon fell for le "Logic is my guiding principle and should be applied equally in all cases!" trap in 2024..
Now send me your address so I can ship you a plastic baggie full of my poop already.
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>>25780
I dont care what she thinks about meat but Ashley does share a lot of beliefs with new agey cults and im not going to elaborate or argue about this here
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>picrel
Im not going to elaborate or argue about this here
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Eating cats? Not on his watch. A recalcitrant joins the posse..
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>>25785
it's a squirrel, boomer
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>>25793
After watching your retarded sexist racist kpop fan vegan "movie", I have a sudden urge to eat pork ribs.
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>>25767
>I'll begin by decapitating my neighbor's daughter's new puppy.
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>>25767
>I've also been getting pretty sick of my cat lately. brb, gonna go light him on fire.
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>>25767
>stop being a retarded edgyboi plz
>>25703 (OP) 
6 months ago I spread Ashley's...site and imageboard to some people I know and while they were slightly amused or completely disgusted one comment I reviced back stuck with me. Is she a pedophile? I then asked what they meant and they mentioned Chester and Derrick's mom as well as the Plenty of Pedos section on her site. I then made the realization that she may very well be a pedophile who's too afraid to do anything and uses "comedy" to act her out her fantasies. Please tell me this isn't the case.
>>25805
Ashley is self-admittedly sexually attracted to burly dudes like Duke Nukem and twinks like Michael J Fox. If anything her mind is probably just fucked from having an entire website of grown men salivate at the idea of fucking her when she was posting at like 15 years old.
That probably is why her theoretical age of consent under her "Laws if I made Laws" page is 15, mind-fucked from 4chan at a young age. Sad.
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>>25805
what is satire
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>>25805
>>25806
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>>25759
>>25760
Another busy day 🤣
Ban the spammer!
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>>25805
This is bait. If I aligned with the views about everything I joke about, I would be a homosexual male gay-pedophile school shooter hooker black judge armless gay man white supremacist boomer vampire ghost hunter old woman. Last time I checked, the only thing I joked about that I actually am, is a person with Down Syndrome.

>>25806
My point is in regards to laws being hypocritical in some states where it's legal to have sex with an animal who cannot verbally consent, meanwhile a sexual act with a 15 year old human who is sexually developed (this is what puberty is) who can speak English and theoretically consent, is somehow illegal. Logically those two scenarios when compared together make no sense. The age of consent should be 0. 0 as in none, not like 0 as in baby. In my world, nobody would be allowed to have sex because if I can't have it, nobody else can.

In regards to pedophilia speculation, I am definitely not sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children. I'm outspoken enough about my views that if I was, I would probably be one of those "MAP advocates" you see. But I like cock that's bigger than 2", body hair, and someone who doesn't need a diaper change 10 minutes after eating Gerber. You might be confusing me for someone who looks very similar to me named "Chester". If you would like to learn more about my sexual interests, you may view: https://icum.to/mycrushes
>>25815
A 33-year-old married mother and her 15-year-old son are in love with each other, and she gives him a blow job in lieu of a sex education. Do you think that is acceptable?
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>>25816
Yeah, why else would they be married? It would be wrong of the married mom to cheat on her husband.
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>>25817
Just to clarify: the mother is married to a man (her husband), who's the father of her 15-year-old son. She gives her son a blow job.
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>>25818
I don't understand the question.
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>>25819
My question: is it ok for a married mother to have sex with her 15-year-old son? In a way, she's cheating on her husband.
>>25816
>>25817
>>25818
>>25819
>>25820
I will be skipping the presidential debates tonight and watching the outcome of this conversation instead. Seems much more interesting and, amazingly, less retarded.
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>>25820
Are you trying to tell me that your mom sucked your penis, or that you're the mom and you want to suck your son's penis, and you're asking for my blessing?
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>>25822
I'm asking for a friend, and I want you to give them (mother and son) your blessing.
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>>25821
🤣
>>25820
>incest
>pedophilia
>cheating
🙄
>>25821
Her son is half of her Husband's DNA so technically she wouldn't be cheating on him. The other half of the DNA is he's so if anything she'd be cheating on him with herself.
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>>25823
Is she a qualified professional in that field? If she has sex with her husband 3 times a week, and of those three times, one of them is oral, that would be: 
1(BJ)x52(weeks in a year)=52 blowjobs/year.
If she's been married to her husband for 18 years:
52(BJs)x18(years)=936

That's nearly 1,000 blow jobs. I would say that is a qualified blow job professional. However, in my health class we never got educational blow jibbers. Just to spite this lucky fuck, I'm going to say no. He can't get a blowjob from his mom. Now have her call me (725-CUM-FART) because I'm interested in furthering my education.
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>>25826
that sounds about right

>>25827
have sex 3 times a week with the same man for 18 years including 1000 blow jobs? that's womanly impossible
>>25815
>If I aligned with the views about everything I joke about, I would be a homosexual male gay-pedophile school shooter hooker black judge armless gay man white supremacist boomer vampire ghost hunter old woman. Last time I checked, the only thing I joked about that I actually am, is a person with Down Syndrome.
This a non answer to yes or no question. How reptillian of you.
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>>25827
I thank you for giving them your blessing. Now the mother and her son can rest in peace.
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>>25829
>This a non answer to yes or no question
>>25815 >In regards to pedophilia speculation, I am definitely not sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children.
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>>25832
>>25815
>In regard(no "-s") to pedophilia speculation, I am definitely not sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children.
What if pre-pubescent children are sexually attracted to you, would you say no to them?
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>>25830
beautiful
>>25833
>implying anyone would ever be sexually attracted to ashley
nice try
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>>25835
>implying anyone would ever be sexually attracted to ashley
why not?
>>25835
I would fuck Ashley so worshipfully and admiringly it is completely insane.
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>>25838
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>>25838
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>>25838
Same but replace the word ashley with the word men
>>25842
I used to shoot blanks to Sailor Mercury.
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Ashley is Sailor Uranus.
https://phoenixbt.weebly.com/entertainment/the-truth-about-sailor-uranus

https://www.sideshow.com/blog/sailor-moon-zodiac-signs
I'm shitting gravy real bad right now and I only have 1/4 of toilet paper left on the roll.
Replies: >>25853
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>>25852
Sir, this is the "shit on Ashley's opinions thread," you may be looking for the confessions thread, which can be found here: >>25664
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Replies: >>25867 >>25890
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>>25855
me right now
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>>25764
I found your lanza link interesting, although I have reservations about his analysis.

To whom would you recommend his writings?
Stop bumping this colossal post
>>25875
stop using the catalog pussy
>>25875
I agree, we should stop bumping this thread. Would anyone else like to chime in on this decision?
>>25878
I second this
Replies: >>25881 >>25894
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>>25878
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>>25875
>>25878
>>25879
I love colossal posts.
Replies: >>25882
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>>25881
Replies: >>25883 >>25897
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>>25882
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>>25883
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>>25855
for to long horses have gotten all the fame, all the attention, all the reputation for having the biggest animal cocks
Even our fearless leader is a big fan of them...

Sure elephants are well known for having an impressive memory of being able to remember events of our past a year later, and yes we  have the greatest volume of cerebral cortex available for cognitive processing of all existing land animals, BUT its about damn time we elephants rise up and ensure elephants get the credit they fucking deserve for their MASSIVE, FLOPPY DONGS 

elephant cock representation matters!


Posted from an iPhone 15 Pro
RELEPHANTPARATIONS NOW
>>25875
>>25878
>>25879
I disagree, I think its interesting to hear peoples reactions to Ashley's articles from her website.
Replies: >>25895
>>25894
the last two replies are clearly in jest.
the joke is riffing on the guy who said "we should stop bumping!" and immediately people start replying with variations of "yes" "I concur" etc. therefore doing exactly the opposite of what the initial poster wanted and bumping the thread.
Replies: >>25897 >>25899
>>25895
First one was in jest too, wouldn't have bumped it and explicitly said that if I didn't want more people replying ;)

>>25882
I'm not too familiar with elephant sperm collection, is fisting the normal procedure? I know penile stimulation via artificial vaginas or horse dummies is typically used for horses.
Replies: >>25899
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>>25895
>>25897
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