/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

>>25179 (OP) 
spongey ahh theme

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>>25180
nigga wat

>>25180
>>25181
REMINDER >>24038

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Here's my topical video regarding summer: https://videos.icum.to/w/3eD9uuANfquu4tyCXgvezU

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>>25183
>when the clouds are a certain color
Oh, really?! And what color might that be?

>>25183
Summertime begins June 20th
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM

>>25191
Summer begins when it's already light out at 4am and I can drive around at 3pm without seeing broccoli heads walking home.

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>>25191
kys faggot it was 105 degrees today and I'm still sweating like a homosexual on judgement day which means that it's SUMMER you NIGGER

>>25183
>hates summer
>afraid to go outside at night
>afraid of thunderstorms
>can't drive
>can't swim
>can't cook
>can clean
>can do VCR repair
You're scared of just about everything and seem miserable with your life but at least you can repair a VCR. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaKVUik3CxA

>>25199
You forgot
>wants microwaved mac and cheese

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>>25200
I never forget the mac and cheese. I have Stouffer's and Bob Evans mac and cheese in the fridge right now. I even have boxes of Kraft, Cheetos and cans of Chef Boyardee mac and cheese. I'm the mac daddy you missing in life.

>>25199
>>25200
All of those are good things

>>25210
I actually agree. The last thing I want is some hyperactive normie chick constantly bitching about how she's bored and wants to go out.

>>25179 (OP) 
I'm from MN and there's 3 things I dislike about Summer. Air Conditioning. I literally can't be in it for more than a. Hour without waiking up the nezt day feeling like shit i.e. scratchu throat and zinus headache. Another thing is the overabundance of ticks and mosquitos. I know there's sprays but 80% of them don't even work a d are filled with chemicals. I literally had a tick on my dick last week. The last things is tornadoes as well. One hit our cabin in the late 90's and took down around 20 trees but somehow the cabin didn't get destroyed aside from some of the roofing. Another hit in the middle of the county fair back in 2002 a d we had to go inside a metal barn that one picked a dumpster 3 feet off the ground but no other damage. Noting really has happened since then.

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>mfw amerifats are sweating their obese titties off while Im down here rugged up in blankets enjoying crisp, cozy winter nights

eat shit losers

yeah thats right, I just uploaded a 5mb GIF

deal with it.

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>>25183
The Ash mentioned going down memory lane by using her old computer with the Windows movie maker effects that she recorded with back in the day. 
So of course I had to say to my hot wife, I said "Hey my hot wife with the big boobs, I have to spend time looking for the old videos that she used the webcam effects in and then taking screencaps and assembling them in a side by side comparison with her latest video, into one image and then posting it on her awesome image board" and then my hot wife with the big tits says to me "ok anon, you are so cool and have a massive cock that i will want to give you a blowjob after you are done with your work, ok?"
and then i said, "ok, babe" (Im also wearing sunglasses when i said this so look even cooler then this sounds) and then i posted this post 
unzips

>>25200
>>25201
you can make mac and cheese without microwaving.
My hot wife makes it for me whenever I demand it, tastes great!

>>25179 (OP) 
You better hurry up and have kids. You can find sperm at the thrift store on the clothes or stuffed animals. You may not know who's it is but sperm is sperm, just as long as it gets you pregnant. If you need help raising them.ask craigslist lady. Just don't let your pugs eat them because that wouldn't be good for what what left of your reputation.

>>25222
dem babies gonna like it raww milk

>>25222
That sperm could be vaxxed. She would need my unvaxxed sperm. I have an old crusty t-shirt lying around here somewhere that the ants haven't gotten to yet that she could towel floss between her legs.

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>>25200

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>>25221
Patch 1.01 notes
 -fixed bug causing bottom left image to display incorrect graphic effect

>>25244
suggestion for 1.02: I feel like the old pictures should be on the left, and the new pictures should be on the right. More like a timeline.

>>25244
for me, it's watermelon ashley

>>25246
You some kind of kpop fan?

>>25221
>>25244
Very nice 👍🧙‍♀️🍉👋
Would you also post the links to her old videos?

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>>25245
Patch 1.03 notes
-older pictures are now on the left side
-images on the left are now listed chronologically

>>25266
>Would you also post the links to her old videos?
sure, theres an archive on youtube that has most of her old videos. 
unfortunately 2 are missing and are believed to be lost in time, never to be seen again.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEuNmdR53GRgIU66P_cSZTQ/videos

>>25272
Cool 👍👋🛸🧙🏻‍♀️🍉

Do you have the links to those four videos in the archive which you captured the screenshots?

Also, what software did you use to organize the screenshots nicely into a montage?

>>25272
do you know what videos are missing?

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>>25274
>Do you have the links to those four videos in the archive which you captured the screenshots?
yep, Ive attached them, but the first one was just a picture she took

>what software did you use to organize the screenshots nicely into a montage?
I used an old version of Photoshop but any basic photo editor would work. GIMP is a free and open sourced image editor that i sometimes use as well.

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>>25275
2 that I know that are missing is one called Apple CEO and the other is called Therapist helps Pedro.
there is a snipped of the pedro video, but not the full thing

>>25275
Our wedding video is missing.

>>25276
Thanks so much.

https://youtu.be/cUaafEvuBp4?t=182
In this video "Windows Movie Maker PafuuaEBoAE", at t=182, was she referring to Rose ( https://www.youtube.com/@TheRoseArchive )?

"guitar practice 1 QaiSFOCvQTA"
https://youtu.be/wjPh5ezefB8

"knee gloid kGat 4Nvbeo"
https://youtu.be/XjeTEPs0SJI

>>25277
I have those but I can't upload them. The files are too large.
>>25280
>Our wedding video is missing
rip..

>>25282
>The files are too large.
You can try uploading large files to this website:
https://gofile.io/uploadFiles
It's free and easy, and no registration is required.

>>25292
Thanks, very handy and quick.
https://gofile.io/d/nuLwC2

>>25293
REEE I had those videos and I was excited to show Ashley Jones lost media. That's my lesson for being an extremely slow masturbator. I mean procrastinator. 

I have an archive of all these old videos and the streams, I'll make a torrent and have it done by the end of this month. I meant to do it a few months ago, whoopsies.

>>25294
aiii.. I might be missing some other videos though, so It will be nice having everything in a torrent anyway.

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As long as we're taking a walk down memory what is you guys favorite Ash vid, 2014-2015. Hard to select I know, they're all great. Mine is Music Kid Rages in which Ash ranks on us for not being sophisticated to appreciate the jazz genre, funny stuff.

>>25301
My favorite Ashley video was the one where she collaborated with Ciara. In the video, Ciara goes to Ashley's website and gets upset at one of Ashley's posts and yells at the TV. Funny stuff. I don't see it posted anywhere though. I think it's one of her lost videos.

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>>25303
I have it. I uploaded it for you to https://gofile.io/d/8tgcEG

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>>25305
10MB is still within the limit of the imageboard, so I'm reposting the video here.

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>>25282
>>25293
holy shit, ty so much anon. Ive been wanting to get my unusually small hands on those lost videos for years! 


>>25301
Hard to say what one is my favourite but one of my favourites is "cop female 20 dollar bill"
The arm sling made out of toilet paper was a great touch and the dynamic camera work of lying on bed, to sitting up, to lying back down on bed again = Pure Cinema.

>>25183
Ashley you should make a real watermelon hat to cool your head

>>25328
That's the funniest shit I've seen so far. Where can I donate money to Ciara?

>>25328
I remember seeing this back in the day. I still can't tell if this crazy bitch was putting on an act or having a genuine meltdown.

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>>25335
Aren't those the psychotic eyes? Are we sure he never did anything? I mean, I've seen some odd photographs of him with kids.

Ashley, were you scared of that storm last night?

I used to sleep in the nude until I noticed shit stains on my bed sheet.

>>25369
Do you have fecal (bowel) incontinence?

>>25377
Or he doesn't wipe good

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>>25385

>>25292
>>25293
>>25305
https://gofile.io/faq
"The files you upload in this session remain available as long as they are regularly downloaded. When your content becomes inactive, it is deleted after about ten days."

>>25400
Only 3 times? I gotta do at least 9-10 times

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>>25403
You're gonna get a bloody asshole🩸+💩

>>25369
thats because ozempic you fat fuck

>>25385
>>25400
thats so nasty, just wash your ass after you shit

>>25406
because of what?

>>25409
ozempic

>>25409
beetus medicine, apparently it makes you shit

>>25369
I cant sleep naked because I feel vulnerable to getting ghraped (ghost raped)

>>25448
that’s kinda hwot I want to sleep outside but I don’t want ants in my holes

>>25448
I remember feeling so horny one night that I tried having sex with my sleep paralysis demon by laying on my back naked in hopes that the old hag would appear in the middle of the night and give me a handjob while staring into my soul.

>>25456
I do this except I ask my demon to dress up as Duke Nukem

>>25451
wear a condom and stick a butt plug up your butt 
then just put a plastic bag over your head.
Amen, all your holes plugged and you get to enjoy falling asleep to death under the starry night sky

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I have the same retro vintage antique piece of shit fan as Ashley's and upgraded to a Noma tower fan. It's fairly quiet depending on the fan speed which can be adjusted on its own based on the room temperature and it has a remote so I can control it from my desk and bed.

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>>25521
>It's fairly quiet
I have a genuine question for you or anyone else who wants to chime in. I've actually never understood this so please take me seriously and explain yourselves.

Why is it that people obsess over fan noise? "Ohhh this fan was expensive but it's SO quiet. You can't even hear it!!!" or people who freak the fuck out over their computer having any kind of fan noise, etc.

Personally, I like white noise, so the sound of a fan is pleasant to me. I don't even notice it. I absolutely hate dead silence, but so many people are obsessed with having it be perfectly quiet all the time. I suspect the silence matches their inner experience (also dead silent).

>>25537
>The Sound of Silence
>Silence is Golden

>>25537
It's quiet only on the lowest speed settings, once it reaches medium/high settings it starts making noise which I don't mind at night since I like background noise while sleeping.

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Yea, noisy fans are annoying.

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>>25537
Quiet things are assosiated with luxery. Quiet car, quiet computer, quiet wife. It allows us to think about our quarterly earnings and swinging with my boss and his wife in peace. 

Personally, I enjoy the noise my stand up fan makes cuz it drowns out my suicidal thoughts and memories of social failure as I go to sweeeeep.

>>25521
heh nice butt pluge DUDE

>>25543
Im glad Im not the only one who saw the thumbnail and immediately thought that

>>25537
>>25540
Ive been falling asleep to rain/thunder sounds on youtube.
I load up the video and then set a shutdown cmd in the terminal for a bout 45 mins and Ive noticed the next day I had fallen asleep before the shutdown.
What used to take my atleast 1hr to fall asleep is now under 45mins. its not always consistent but its been an improvement.

>>25541
LOL

>>25556
Exposing our eyes to blue light before we go to sleep signals to our brain that it's daylight outside. Reading the latest issue of Jugz Magazine with candles Ben Franky style is good alternative method to improve your sleep even further.

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I would post more but it's too hot

F*CK summer am I right ladies

>>25563
I live in a extremely cold climate and the only people that are open about enjoying winter are overweight because it's easier for their body to maintain homostasis. I love summer because I love gettin' that D from my son.

>>25571
Snow is fun for like a week tops but otherwise it's gay. When I say "I love winter" or "I prefer the cold months" what I really mean is that I like rain. Rain is god-tier weather. I love sitting inside all comfy and warm while the rain hits the window, and it's all dark and gloomy and shit. Maximum comfy and if you prefer the sun scorching your skin and burning out your retinas, I'm sorry to have to tell you, but you're a retard, Willy-style.

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>>25572
When I was a  kid I remember telling my mom that I liked cloudy rainy days. She looked at me kinda weird.

>>25572

Typical aspie take. Snow's awesome if you don't live somewhere where it'll all turn to slush within a few days.

"The few times I see an extremely bleak, dark, and dreary day outside during the morning or afternoon with thick gray clouds covering the entire sky, I get into a good mood and think about how wonderfully beautiful it is outside. Bright, sunny, 'cheerful' days are depressing. Nearly every afternoon is miserable for me. Beyond just the normal animosity I have for sunlight, I get exhausted between noon and and sunset when I’m in a room which allows the slightest amount of afternoon light in.
I hate having my skin exposed to sunlight, so I always wear a hooded sweatshirt and full length pants, even in the hottest weather. The sunglasses I wear are gigantic and almost completely prevent me from seeing any direct sunlight when I’m looking in any direction. I would also wear a full balaclava if it wouldn’t get me profiled as a criminal."
-Adam Lanza
(https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/lanza_two_personal_messages_1.0.pdf, Page 2)

Sounds like you'd make good pals.

>>25589
>citing an obvious psy op
Fuck SUMMER and fuck YOU

>>25589
>Typical aspie take
Do you know where you are, kpop fan?

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>>25589
>Adam Lanza
holy shit THIS guy was a school shooter?

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I like to have myself some good watermelon in the summertime.

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guys I'm melting

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>>26310
Have yourself watermelon 🍉

>>26314
thanks glitta
I just boofed an ice cube and it didn't help

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>>26310
guys Im so nice and cozy sipping on warm chamomile tea and playing Snowrunner

yo what are you niggas doing today?

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>>27748
Sweating my balls off nigga. playing picrel on yuzu though so that's comfy. being awake during the daytime in summer sucks, it's comfiest in the middle of the night