/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.

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Replies: >>9576 >>9878
>>9575 (OP) 
is that one of those billionaires that faked their death?
Replies: >>9581
So baaasically these guys told me that if I could slam this bottle of tequila before this sub blows up they'll give me a shoe deal. I donno being Shoenice and all I thought it would be a good idea. 
Eeeeeeeeeeiiiither way, I say hey I like Slayer and I'm running for mayor. So let's do this...

1. Game Face
"You shouldn't be using cheap parts for that under water machine"

2. Marge Face
"Homey, James Cameron already went to the Titanic"

3. ShoeNice

[sub implodes]
Replies: >>9582 >>9585 >>9597
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When Stockton Rush, Titan sub CEO and passenger on Titan, was told his philosophy about breaking safety rules didn't work out he replied, "I'm crushed."

Too soon?
Replies: >>9579 >>9585
more like stockton's crushed amirite??
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this fucking guy.  
ignore safety regulations and rules...
>You're remembered for the rules you break

guess he got what he wanted

I would nominate this for the cuckies if I didn't feel bad for the others on board.
Replies: >>9587
I was going to post the university student jumping off the party boat and being eaten by sharks in the Carribean but wasn't sure if death related incidents would be permitted.
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✔️Fact Check:

Claim: Image of 'Titan' submersible debris goes viral. 

Rating: In my imagination, it was true.

This photo appears to show debris found from OceanGate Expeditions’ 'Titan' submersible. Coast Guard claims they heard the crew 'banging' before they all died from erotic asphyxiation.

Official Press Release
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I think the guy had payments on his Ferrari or something, that he decided to go cheap. His ego and him being naive also didn't help, its almost as if he was asking for it. His diy submarine failed.
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<--- This thing is the true GOAT 

>On 26 March 2012, Cameron reached the bottom of the Challenger Deep, the deepest part of the Mariana Trench. The maximum depth recorded during this record-setting dive was 10,908 metres (35,787 ft)

The guy that directed Terminator broke the world record for deepest depth reached
Replies: >>9600
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its like he listened to the experts!
>just happens to go down on the 33rd mission
>sorry guys the bodies of these billionaires will never be found
>but they're totally dead though :(
guys please start being more skeptical
Replies: >>9613 >>9618
anon thereis less spectacular, ways to fake your own death, that wont spark a media frenzy.

trust me...
Replies: >>9618
Real or fake, I think stories like these are there to distract people from tuning into something important happening else where. Keep your eyes peeled for anything of actual importance.
Replies: >>9692 >>9693
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has anyone see Ashley since this whole thing went down?!
I think she said she liked sea life in her dollar tree haul video, maybe she tagged along just to see the deepwater sea life?
Does anyone know if Ocean Gate accepts Monero or Panda Express giftcards as payments?!?!?!?
Replies: >>9634
Ever since the last video the wind got sucked out of this place. It seems like not only Ashley is gone but a bunch of other people are.
Maybe everyone is on vacation? This place is dead.
Replies: >>9635
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Im on vacation. So i spend a lot of time under the sun Doing fun stuff.
Sorry ash but thats the eBay it is.
True, but it's not necessarily always that. The so called "powers that be" also need a constant cycle of "distractions" done via news stories, internet celebrity drama, Hollywood celebrity drama, etc. Anything to keep your mind occupied with meaningless and ultimately net-negative distractions. These stories will have no impact on people's futures, it's not like it gives you any useful long term knowledge or impacts you positively. Distractions keep the cattle busy and stops them from naval gazing about more important matters, such as the nature of reality.
Replies: >>9693
alternatively its just the 24hr news cycle thats designed to grab your attention with sensationalist headlines, clickbait, etc etc all designed to grab eyes so they can sell ad space.
>>9575 (OP) 
Body parts belonging to the Titan submersible crew are Presumed to have been found.

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