/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.

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Hey Ashley, I bet this comes as a big surprise for you, but we all got together and made you a card. Merry Christmas, we love you!
Merry Christmas Ashley, lots of love to you!
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Wow I had no idea you guys were doing this, I'm honored and humbled that we're making a nice place here. This is being set as my desktop wallpaper, I'll tear up each time I see it. Thank you everyone, I love the entire card but my favorite part is the homosexual stealth camper.

What are you guys planning for 2023? For any men planning on losing weight, please don't. Eat more. I like them chubby boys. My new years resolution is to finally admit to myself I'm a chubby chaser. For any women planning to lose weight, please proceed.

I have a fun thing planned to announce on the 1st of January, it's something we will all participate in to make something awesome. Actually I'll just announce it now. You're all going to crowd fund my abortion :3 Just kidding, lesbians can't get pregnant. Is that statement transphobic? I guess there are a lot of lesbians with penises these days. But for real, on the 1st I will announce the fun thing we will all do together. Merry Christ-ass heh
Im going to take a bunch of sleeping pills so I can sleep thru NYE, and then wake up to this fun thing we are all going to do on Jan 1st, but Im gonna pretend its actually NYE so i can tell my mother I spent NYE with friends.
Cant wait!
Merry Christmas Ashley, thanks for all the fun.
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A bit of nostalgia.

Make new memories
But keep the old
The first are silver
The latter gold
Yo baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
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There may be more than meets the eye here
Replies: >>4268 >>4277
>chubby chaser
So who chasing who? You ain't expecting me to run after you are you?
>What are you guys planning for 2023?
Well as long as you're here I will keep passing out the cards and uploading on the clips channel when appropriate. I'm starting a new job next month that will keep me away from home more though. No work at home at this new one but it's a much higher pay.
I'm a bit overweight but I didn't plan on losing any really. I'm tall so I just come off as 'husky' is what I've been told.
Very much looking forward to the announcement! Let's keep pushing everyone! One day ash will have a huge fanbase again and we'll be considered the 'originals'
Replies: >>4268
happy hanukkah.jpg
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Hanukkah is lit, yo!
Replies: >>4268 >>4270
So is Goyfield Italian then?
sharp eye!

best of luck at your new job

spin that dreidel fam!

my plans for 2023 are to beat alcoholism and get back to mountain bike riding.
Replies: >>4269
>beat alcoholism
I did this. Found there's really no point unless you have children or at least a meaningful career. Didn't mind the absence of drinking but the boredom on Friday and Saturday became too much to bare. Realized how empty our lives are and the only useful thing to do was read up on the past.
You don't beat alcoholism. You just replace it with something. It's a lifestyle change that, in my humble opinion, the world doesn't deserve. This plane of existence is ruled by violence and corruption. I'm ashamed to live in the same conscious band as some of the the filth that we share this world with. My will is to do good here and help people but I refuse to not resent this horrible place. This world is beauty rended incarnate. For all the poor souls that sought refuge from that reality I will raise my glass and, in my own quiet stoic solidarity, have a drink.
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I'm thinking of doing another cum tribute for milady sometime in '23. Maybe involving a vacuum cleaner. I'm afraid that's about as far ahead as I can plan.

Garfield is innocent. I'm sure he'd tell people he's jewish if it means getting more food, but he's no Moloch worshiper
I've resolved to eat healthier and lose weight
Replies: >>4276
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you are gonna make it bro
Cool image! What does it say? I can read the top part CHR. What's the other stuff though? The squiggles?
Replies: >>4285 >>4294
It says you are a wonderful and valuable member of society :)
Replies: >>4286
I'm sorry, Ashley. I just can't live like this anymore. No, I'm serious. My doctor says that if I don't do something about it, I'll die. Between you and the pericardial fat, my heart just can't take the strain anymore. Remember me as I was and not as I am.
It says you can get really high by sucking lots helium out of a helium tank. Try it and let us know if it works.
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We appreciate you not peaking through the No Ashley thread and spoiling your surprise. As for 2023, I'm looking forward to a few concerts happening throughout the year along with some travelling. I haven't put much thought into any new year's resolutions besides cutting back on booze and staying active. I already lost the weight I gained during COVID so you will have to find someone else's man titties to suck on. A buddy I jam with wants me in one of his future side projects so I'm practicing for that at the moment. That's about it. This next announcement of yours sounds exciting, can't wait to see what sick, twisted thing you've got planned for us this time.
>Ashley likes chubby dudes
>We all want lose weight

what a cruel twist
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decisions,decisions, decisions
buddha belly.jpg
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Ashley, I'm ready for our date to the grand buffet.
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Sorry, Anon, I win. She's mine. See you at the All You Can Eat.
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Sure, you can come along on our date ...if you can get up. Ashley can only hand feed one one of us. Don't think I won't tip you over on your rascal scooter, Seabee.
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Guys I'm excited for Christmas already.

What should we do for Ashley this year?
Replies: >>13134 >>13137

hire her one of those fancy Asian escorts that I see advertised at the back of my dads nudey magazines 
but prank her and make it a Thai lady boy
I think there was suppose to be a secret santa thingy this year.
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