/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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Ashley isn't the world's best cook. And that's exactly why she's the world's best cooking teacher.

https://videos.icum.to/w/e5bTJCqxGfq14zfY25VG57
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>>24823 (OP) 
Sexy as charged.
Noooo bb pls no kill urself *cums into glowscreen*
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Is Ash suicidal?
Also, I liked your dick and pug.
Replies: >>24833 >>24873
>>24823 (OP) 
big fan of the spitting montage
do more
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>>24830
>I masturbated to a downie for the first time in my life. God gave them an extra chromosome and extra ass. Every downie has a great ass. Downie ass is the only reason I've lived
Relatable
Replies: >>24835 >>24837
>>24833
>extra ass
>a great ass
Is it because a downie's brain is in his/her ass?
>>24833
If she's retarded then so am I.
>>24823 (OP) 
Ashley do you still cut your own hair or do you get it done by a hair dresser? Because O-M-G girlfriend it looks GORGEOUS!
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>>24839
>Ashley do you still cut your own hair
she does!
in fact picrel is what she uses to cut her own hair 
i know for a fact because i live in her walls

and fr it actually does like slay no gay
>>24839
She uses a Flowbee "no relation to Seabee"  George Clooney also uses one perhaps that's what inspired her.
Replies: >>24855
>>24848
I was going to give my pubes that zoomer haircut with one, but then I saw how expensive Flowbees actually are.
What the fuck is a flowbee? Is this some menstruation thing?
Replies: >>24857
>>24856
It's an array of removable attatchments that you can put on your vaccum and inside each of the attatchments are razors that cut hair. How it doesn't land more people on Liveleak is beyond me. Like anon mentioned earlier, George Clooney mentioned he's used it, but I'm sure he now has a Taz to style his jew fro.
Replies: >>24858
>>24857
>It's an array of removable attatchments that you can put on your vaccum
Why would I put removable attachments on my wife
I don't get it
Replies: >>24859
>>24858
The only removable attachment I have is you, you fat slob
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same toilet

long (hairy) legs
Replies: >>24868 >>24869
>>24867
oh, and the CO2 tank
>>24867
Ashley do you keep everything in your drawers and cupboards? Besides the soap dispenser and CO2 tank your countertop is totally empty.
>>24830
>>24839

And did she knot knit that apron herself?
Replies: >>24876
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I was going in half-expecting periodblood pancakes or shit filled brownies. Was pleasantly surprised it was something a little less disgusting. Surprisingly wholesome as well, even with a chef that could kys at any moment. Glad she made it through to the end of this episode at least.

And those legs.. mamma mia, che buono!
Replies: >>24913
>>24873
>knot
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-a-dog-knots-a-woman
Replies: >>24877
>>24876
How did I know before clicking this would have
>Horny pajeets loving the question and answering in great detail
>AI bots horribly offended by the question
>Boomers that don't understand
(This applies to every quora question ever)
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>>24875
>I was going in half-expecting periodblood pancakes or shit filled brownies.
On the next episode of cooking with Ashley...

I know kitchen bench heights can vary a bit, but this video really showed how short she is with her elbows barely above the benchtop. 
If I stand next to the benches in my kitchen the benchtop is at about my knuckles.
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new spaghetti cookin strat just dropped
Replies: >>24931
>>24930
these videos all follow this formula:
1. cook something obviously disgusting
2. pretend to look pleasantly surprised when you try it
giving normies the internet on their cell phones was a huge mistake
>>24823 (OP) 
The bare countertops make your kitchen look like a porn set. When you pulled out the magic wand, I thought I was watching the setup to a Naughty America porn video. I was a bit disappointed no one tried to put their one-eyed snake in your pound cake. Thank you for your cervix.
>>24823 (OP) 
I thought Ashley was vegan
Replies: >>25257
>>25216
I thought she was a fruit.
Replies: >>25268
>>25257
Would you like to eat her if she were a watermelon?
Replies: >>25273 >>25306
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>>25268
this is a lot like me and Ashley
Replies: >>25312 >>25318
>>25268
I'm sure if Ashley was a watermelon, she'd have lots of seeds.
>>25273
How is this not a black person in that gif?
>>25312
Whitewashing
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>>25273
>>25312
This one is a lot like me and the Ashley.
Replies: >>25334
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>>25312
nigga i am black... just albino black

>>25318
shieet *daps you up*
Replies: >>25352
>>24823 (OP) 
I was only able to watch through once, and even then I zoned out alot and missed some of it (I have a problem where I can't listen to women talk for too long), so my opinion might be biased but I rate this video a 7/10.

Good sketch comedy starts with a solid funny premise and builds on it over the course of the sketch, in "Cooking with Ashley" the premise is very weak and isn't built on. The video follows Lee poorly making pasta and delivering small one off jokes that don't follow a clear theme. A better sketch could work off of Lees freakishly small body and how funny it looks in that kitchen, this could include all the ingredients being on the highest shelf and Lee struggling to get them, which then opens her up for upskirt jokes. The runtime is also unnecessary and the delivery is unnatural (the videos where Lee rambles for an hour are a good example of natural dialogue). All these short comings can be chalked up to Lee's mental disability of course and my only real complaints are 1. no derrick farts, 2. only one character, and 3. the crochet apron looks ineffective and could have been a novelty/funny apron which Lee probably has many of.   

The parts I liked are when Lee makes edgy jokes, makes fun of italians, and the part where she has her dick on the table. Lees humor and personality remains consistent and does not disappoint in what her fans have come to expect.
>>25334
man Man, just look at those legs, Look at them. Can you even imagine watching her strut down her driveway to toss out the trash and suddenly leaping out of her trashcan and immediately getting pepper sprayed in the face and kicked repeatedly with those legs. Then she squats over you and says, "I'm gonna gas you like the kikes never existed." and farts in your face as you mumble, "Thank you, mommy." Sure you may have gotten genocided by a 4'11" girl but who really won here?
Replies: >>25360
>>25352
I would give anything to see her unmaintained bush
Replies: >>25375 >>25376
>>25360
give up your eyesight because once what is seen cannot be unseen...
totally not worth the 2XMR/343.34USD for the real livecam tracker feed
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>>25360
>bush
"Pictured above is a female body that looks incredibly similar to mine.":
https://icum.to/my-convictions/
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>>25376
Having a lot of body hair is linked to higher intelligence. This finding comes from various studies that suggest a correlation between body hair and cognitive abilities.
Replies: >>25391
>>25376
>my-convictions
Damn, I didn't know Ashley was a baddie. That mugshot must be real.
>>25376
Kind of weird she is hiding her hands
Replies: >>25382
>>25381
She grappin dat ass
Replies: >>25384
>>25376
I thought Ashley didn't drive?
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>>25382
This ass?
Replies: >>25386
>>25384
When this was first posted some of you retards thought it was real
>looks nothing like her
>blurry af
>man ass
Replies: >>25387 >>25388
>>25386
I still think the Duke Nukem pictures are real.
Replies: >>25388
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>>25386
I know what's real.
>>25387
Was that her?? I thought it was Duke Nukem with Daisy Taylor.
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>>25376
I noticed she mentioned having a C section scar. Add not being able to give birth the correct way to her list of failures along with not being able to clean, cook, drive or swim. Wow. Glad I'm not her.
>>25389
It was probably due to the genital herpes she got from her grandpa.
>>25379
those studies were all funded by BIG HAIRY and are biased and cant be trusted
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>>25389
Life is all about priorities. I may not know how to clean, cook, drive, or swim, but I did just repair this broken 1996 VHS-C tape that has a 10 year old girl's slumber party on it. What have you accomplished today? Drive to the gay meat 'n greet, then swam naked with the gays before cooking them dinner and cleaning up after them? Sounds gay. I'll be watching my priceless vintage relic. I might be hungry and immobile, but at least I'm dry, which is more than I can say for you (the gays camed on you).
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>>25393
You wont be dry after watching that tape ;)
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>>25393
https://youtu.be/TcxpbhM0DaA

heh, heh
>>25389
Aren't you a guy though? Are you saying that if she could do those things, you would want to be her?
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>>25393
>VHS-C tape that has a 10 year old girl's slumber party on it

umm, why do you have all these tapes of little girls? you mentioned in your room tour video that you have a 6 year olds ballet performance


kinda sussy
Replies: >>25452
>>25449
it’s just a cowinky dink silly don’t worry bout it pluss it’s not strange for a childless woman
Replies: >>25455
>>25452
Ashley is a child.
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thanks for the recipe Ashley
Replies: >>25724 >>25726
>>25723
needs more dick cheese
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>>25723
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Ashley would make a good housewife.
Replies: >>25945 >>25947
>>25941
I think you need to watch the video.
Replies: >>25949
>>25941
is that what the Stairway to Heaven is?
>>25945
And I don't think there's enough bubble gum in your spaghetti.
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