/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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hello ashley jones, why are you such a cutie?
Replies: >>24361 >>27343
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sexy
Replies: >>24352
You owe me sex ashley jones.
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I dont care as long as I get Derrick
Replies: >>24360
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This is a screenshot from her latest video. She is scaring me.
Replies: >>24351
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>>24349
Another one.
>>24316
I like to imagine me and Ashley on an episode of Hoarders where she screams and yells at me whenever I throw away something that I thought was trash.
Replies: >>24353 >>24355
>>24352
kek that is really funny
>>24352
Everytime yo pick something up and ask her does she need it, her breasts begin to swell with rage.
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>>24328
Who let this fag into the bar?
Replies: >>24540
>>24285 (OP) 
This cute little bird reminds me of Ashley:
https://www.tiktok.com/@colbertlateshow/video/7371808073377271082
Replies: >>24363 >>24365
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>>24361
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>>24361
Replies: >>24371
>>24365
cum tribute
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>>24360
>derrick's face when I catch a glimpse up his skirt as he's doing parkour at the mall
I remember this it was the same year I found Ashley (2014)
Replies: >>24657 >>24669
>>24597
10 years goes by quick
Replies: >>24684
>>24597
>it was the same year I found Ashley
>(2014)
I found her in a past life.
Replies: >>24684
>>24657
>>24669
Oh yeah and I was referring to the bird cum pic by the way.
I hope she stops putting people taking shit in her videos like god dammit I can't eat food for 2 days
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It's been over a month now. Has anyone figured out why Ashley is such a cutie?
>>25950
ya she rlly puts the QT in LGBQT
Replies: >>25962
>>25950
she puts the BI in ROYGBIV
Replies: >>25962
>>25950
>>25951
>>25953
Ash is a BI QT.
Replies: >>25966
>>25962
Bitch In Queer Transitioning
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She pretty qt for a trans boy
Replies: >>26127
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yes she is cute
yes she is funny 
yes she is charismatic
yes she is entertaining 
yes she has long legs
yes she is smart...

ok, she is kinda smart...


Butt. do not get it twisted. Ashley is a cutie because of its downie ass...

Yep.
 If youre reading this, Im done. I cant take it anymore.
My life is meaningless, noobody can help me.
i want it all too end. 
I masturbated to her videos for the first time in my life...  God gave her an extra chromosome and extra ASS
Every downie has a great ass. Ashley's downie ASS is the only reason Ive ever lived...

begins to boil some wawa
Replies: >>26093 >>26096
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>>26091
Imagine Ashley is the woman in the photo.
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>>26091
Fun Fact: Did you know Ashley's husband makes a cameo in that video? You have to watch closely or you just might miss him. During this scene, Ashley is actually giving her husband a hand job. That's actually his penis she's holding. She decided not to censor it because she thought no one would be able to see it.
>>26096
oh my god i've been CU- CU- CUCKAROO'd whatever shall I DO?!
>>26096
What video?
>>26096 lol
8:11 for what that

Hope something like that happens more often.
>>26054
That’s a girl. Who is she? She looks a lot Ashley.
Replies: >>26135
>>26127
It's Ashley
Replies: >>26145
>>26135
I wanna lick her pink tits.
Ashley is the only female worth marrying.
Replies: >>27028
>>27024
She's already mine thoughbeit
Replies: >>27066
>>27028
Let's fight about it
Ashley do you do sex meetups?
Reply if interested in sex with teenage boy.
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Replies: >>27350
>>24285 (OP) 
I know you're supposed to think this girl is beautiful or whatever but all I can see is what a pain in the ass she is. I also suspect that she's a dyke. Just doesn't do it for me.
>>27073
Define teenage.
Replies: >>27357
>>27350
I am 15
Replies: >>27364
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>>27357
Well, you know what they say, "If the kid ain't bald, show'em your balls." or something like that. You got hair on your head, right?
Replies: >>27365 >>27500
>>27364
Lay off the saline injections.
Replies: >>27367
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>>27365
Come on, kid. You know you want the crème from these Cadbury eggs. Would it help at all if I dressed as the Easter Bunny? Here cums Peter Cottontail going down your happy trail. Aw-shucks, now, don't cry. Bugs Bunny used to do this sort of thing all the time. You like Bugs Bunny, don't you?
Okay I just learned about Ashley, does she have an onlyfans or any porn/nudes? If so I am interested otherwise I will now stop caring about this cutie. She pleases my cock but I need more.
Replies: >>27374
>>27368
Of course she does. This will probably get deleted but here you go. 
https://only-fans.uk/WholeAshley
Ashley really needs to start an onlyfans before she gets too old and loses her boyish charms and looks. I really want to see her sweet hairy tomboy pussy.
Replies: >>27444
>>27425
I like to believe that she's already pre-recorded several dozen extremely hot nude masturbation videos (including full blown 4K UHD closeup asshole and pussy puckering orgasms) but she's just waiting until her 50th birthday to release them all as a gift to her most loyal fans.
Replies: >>27447
>>27444
>extremely hot nude masturbation
>to release them all
do you mean "squirting"?
Replies: >>27448
>>27447
That's just piss, bro.
inb4
>NOT IF UR DOIN IT RUIGHT ALAORH RHHRH
it's PISS
Replies: >>27451
>>27448
let's learn it from the sexpert!
"10 Questions With a Squirting Instructor"
https://youtu.be/zA3iQ1aR5IY
You just know Ashley is one of those gals that fantasise about a man like me breaking into her home and raping her.
Replies: >>27471 >>27477
>>27462
all women want men to do that
Replies: >>27477 >>27482
>>27462
I can confirm >>27471 from experience they NEVER call the cops they love it folks
Replies: >>27479 >>27482
>>27477
They only call the cops when they want more sausage to join the party
Replies: >>27482
>>27471
>>27477
>>27479
then how come women say that rape is the worst thing you can experience and that rapists should be behind bars for years?
>>27482
It was probably opposite day when they said that
>>27482
To save face. They fucked another guy and got caught so it's the easiest way to harvest attention and avoid ruining their betabux marriage arrangement. Bonus, if they get away with it they don't have to have sex with their husband anymore because of the "trauma"

tl;dr I raped a bitch once
Which pornstar resembles Ashley the most? I would say Cadey Mercury but I'm open to suggestions.
Replies: >>27494
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>>27488
Cadey Mercury looks nothing like ashley aside from having short hair. Tamagochigf looks similar but is missing the leg and armpit hair. https://severeporn.com/videos/227335/tamagochigf-lil-compilation-2023/ https://jizzy.org/tamagochigf-nude/
Replies: >>27496 >>27499
>>27494
>tattoos
my tomboy online autist waifu whore is pure
Replies: >>27498
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>>27496
Ok but this one doesnt look like ashley and she has ass pimples
>>27494
Many ages ago i broke a 9 month long edging streak to this woman because I thought she looked like Ashleythen I cried
Replies: >>27500
>>27499
Was this a picture of your balls before the incident? >>27364
>>27482
because theyre supposed to marry the first man who kidnaps them
>Ashley Shaniqua Jones wears shoes indoors
why are Americans retarded like this?
>If you try to rape me in the dream world, I will leave. Because I don't want to be raped
>I'm not into rape
>immediately smiles and briefly laughs after that saying that
That made me so fucking hard and my cock is burning with a desire to rape and mindbreak her so badly she'll be begging for my heavenly rod.
Replies: >>27525 >>27581
>>27524
You are too weak to ever meet her in the astral world, that's why Ashley is playing with you
Replies: >>27528 >>27581
I wish I could meet a girl in my dreams and obsessively track her down IRL. I think that would be romantic. The next best thing is the internet (not talking about e-girls)
>>27525
I have a heavenly rod, your argument is invalid
Does Ashley's physiognomy indicate high agreeableness? That's always been my association with the flat/smooth nose bridge. However, this does not fit well with my perception of her personality. I can post some personality dimension pictures if people are interested in this topic.
Replies: >>27530 >>27531
>>27529
I think it's pretty clear she is moving away from her phenotype of being a cute woman into  being a tomboy mad chad slayer, all bets are off at this point, we just have to keep our autism in check and see what happens
Replies: >>27537
>>27529
I think she's bratty to fsub type of girl, she'll be playfully bratty until you put her in the place with you masculinity and then she'll submit. With women I'm not sure how her personality would be, I'm leaning to her being more of a dom there.
Replies: >>27532 >>27537
>>27531
Her intelectual and comedy dominance would easily kill your pathetic masculine attempt at being a dom, pfft, sharting asshole brown kind of person in this post, shopping at Walmart in this kind of post
Replies: >>27533
>>27532
I bench 110kg and deadlift 135kg
>>27533
weak asshole
Replies: >>27536
>>27534
it's all right for now but I'm trying to improve, haven't been lifting that long
Replies: >>27538
>>27531
>>27530
Women-loving women tend to test as more agreeable than gen pop. They also tend to be in more abusive relationships. There is the phenomenon where most are masculine and hunted minority are feminine. I am not sure how all this plays out and I wish I had more direct insight into the population.

>>27533
What part of that is your own bodyweight?
Replies: >>27539
>>27536
Maybe you should've improoooofed more before you tried to play on our Queen Ashley, huh bud?
>>27537
I weigh 70kg
Replies: >>27540
>>27539
Sorry that's not enough for our queen Ashley she needs a man with AT LEAST 100kg, sorry bro
Replies: >>27541 >>27581
>>27540
I can compensate through other means, if you catch my drift
Replies: >>27542 >>27545
>>27541
Economy? Our Queen Ashley is already paying $50 bucks per month to host this website and another $20 bucks per month to get old VCR video tape recorders to repair, she can handle her life without your influence, chud
Replies: >>27543 >>27545
>>27542
That's not the kind of drift I wanted you to catch.
Replies: >>27544 >>27545
>>27543 
It should be ME as a white knight with the sharpest sword and wittiest replies who gets to take the virginity of Ashley's hairy poontang
Replies: >>27581
I don't get how you guys are attracted to ashley. I guess could rape her and she is kind of cute but I don't find her amazing you know?

>>27541
>>27542
>>27543
BWC
>>27545
I'm attracted to her comedic mind
>>27545
I want a quirky semi-based tomboy gf that I can break even further. Not a lot of those out there.
Replies: >>27549
>>27548
Alright fistycuffs duel it is
Replies: >>27550
>>27549
The winner takes it all
The loser's standing small
Replies: >>27552
>>27550
I would poke your eye into your skull, fucking do a grim gore end on your head as I twist the skull into two and expose the brain matter, just to be with Ashley when she's doing an autistic video on VCR repair, nothing personell kidd but are you really ready for this?
Replies: >>27553
>>27552
I Fuck and Suck, you Feed and Seed.
Replies: >>27554
>>27553
*puts on my motorcycle club vest* Alright let's go kid
Replies: >>27555
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>>27554
>motorcycle club vest
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Nobody will get Ashley because I will build her for God.
Replies: >>27557
>>27556
based
You guys think Ashley's autistic pussy is fertile? How many sessions would it make for me to breed her?
Replies: >>27559
>>27558
My seed isn't fertile enough either because of decades of having laptops on my lap so we're perfect for each other
Replies: >>27560
>>27559
Youre perfect for ashley or for the other poster? Sounds gay. 


I like it.
Replies: >>27562
>>27560
Honestly I would take whatever my hole is open
>faggotry
disgusting
Is anyone else kind of grossed out by all the holes? I just want to make girls cry and giggle and make my penis feel good. I want to feel my whole body and all of hers in motion, but I don't want to fixate on the point of contact.
You faggots need to program the Ashley AI instead of dickering amongst each other! Bio Ashley has already been ravaged by her pugs and Jon from Korn
Replies: >>27568 >>27573
>>27567
AIshley
>>27567
I can't believe the Korn superstars have ravaged this hole already
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>>27524
Yeah if she wasn't really into rape she wouldn't call you and ask you not to rape her. Not being raped is the norm. She clearly was just testing the water.

>>27525
I've already met her and raped her ...in the astral world.

>>27533
I sit on benches and break them. Get on my level.

>>27540
heh, that's what I weigh.

>>27544
>wittiest replies
Am I a joke to you? (Here's your chance, let's see what you got.)

>>27545
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Ashley Jones. Her humor is extremely subtle, and without an undiagnosed condition of autism spectrum disorder most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Ashley's existential outlook, which is deftly woven into her characterization - her personal philosophy draws heavily from Neo-Luddite literature, for instance. The tubbies understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Ashley ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humor in Ashley's existential catchphrase "Rima Dim Dim," which itself is a cryptic reference to John Lant's English nursery rhyme "Ding Dong Dell" which stands against animal cruelty and Dante the Magician's incantation "Sim Salabim" it also being a Danish nursery rhyme. Hell, the word "Rima" is even Spanish for the word rhyme, a nod to Ashley's Mexican heritage. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those ass-blasted simps scratching their cumbrains in confusion as Ashley Jones' genius unfolds itself on their touch screens. What fags... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a never-before-seen Ashley PP. And no, you cannot see it. It's for me and m'lady's eyes only- And even then I had to demonstrate that I'm within 5 IQ points of her own (preferably higher) before she would even send it.

I bully Ashley because I like her. I know picrel is shooped but I think she looks stunning here. I want her to dye her hair this color. I miss the necklace she used to wear.
do you guys think Ashley is the type of girl to burn coal?
Replies: >>27808
>>27805
No, she probably burns dry wood. It's much more eco-friendly.
Replies: >>27809 >>27819
>>27808
wouldn't the dryness make it uncomfortable and not very enjoyable?
Replies: >>27811
>>27809
My uncle burns the midnight oil. I still don't know what that's a sexual euphemism for. Maybe he's having sex with slimy black guys. I've never asked him.
Replies: >>27812
>>27811
>Maybe he's having sex with slimy black guys
Is your uncle, by chance, the president of France?
I used to go walk down by the railroad tracks and gather up all the coal I could find that had fallen off the open-top hopper cars. I would also find quartz crystal mixed in with the ballast and railroad spikes maintenance workers had discarded. I was going to do Minecraft irl but never got around to it. I might try again someday.
>>27813
And I assume you're on the spectrum, right?
Replies: >>27816
>>27815
Undiagnosed.
Replies: >>27817
>>27816
fair enough, I like trains too
Replies: >>27819
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>>27813
When I was a kid my friend and I would put pennies on the tracks and wait for a train to come by. Amazing, the pennies would become the size of half dollars.
Replies: >>27819
>>27808
I bet shes a Redgum kind of girl, it really is the best wood to burn. So i wouldnt be surprized since she is smart to buy wood that burns slow and steady providing warmth for many, many hours. Plus its pretty resistant to any water that may get into it if its stored outdoors and some rain gets on it, so you can purchase some and store it with confidence
Gosh, tubbies, I just really like Redgum wood, ya know?

>>27813
>>27817
>>27818
My dad has this really old piece of railroad. He loves to show it off but Im like dad its just a bit of metal, I dont get it?
Do you guys think Ashley's brother jerks off to the video where she talks about how much she's into incest?
Replies: >>27847
>>27838
They don't talk, they just fuck.
Replies: >>27854
>>27847
But Ashley specifically said even the very thought of having sex with her biological brother disgusts her...
Are you seriously suggesting that Ashley Jones would lie to us?
Replies: >>27859
>>27854
Ashley Jones, like Duke Nukem, is a fictional character, but the Vargas brother and sister would just fuck first and talk later!
Replies: >>27860
>>27859
>Ashley Jones is a fictional character
in my heart she's real...
Replies: >>27861
>>27860
Ashley is as real a person as can be on the virtual Internet world, but Wesley Reese is the girl you wanna fuck irl.
Replies: >>27862
>>27861
Wesley
Kpop fan
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Replies: >>27863
>>27862
fucking nigga word filter
That's my name. kk is krazy for me.
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=CKTOvHw8qFM
Would you watch Ashley if she wasn't a cute looking female boy?
Replies: >>27910 >>27925
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>>27907
I wanna watch Ashley and her gf sucking BBC in a dark gloryhole booth.
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5d3703d04b825
Replies: >>27915
why are americans like this?
Replies: >>27922
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>>27910
Ashley and her trusted vibrator.
Replies: >>27917
>>27915
pornposteranon(s)?, the ones you post never look like ashley
Replies: >>27919 >>27926
>>27917
Look like Ashley?
>>27911
bald balls pls...
Replies: >>27927
>>27907
Probably. Her autism is captivating whether shes a boy or girl, ugly or cute.
>>27917
>Hitachi Magic Wand
>butt plug
>DP/TP
>bisexual/lesbian
Yes, she's Ashley
Replies: >>27928
>>27922
what
Replies: >>27935
>>27926
Nah that's just being a pornstar
>>27927
sissy ahh balls
Replies: >>27936
>>27935
Why do you not like smooth and soft balls, Ashley?
Have all the men you've been with had hairy balls?
You don't know what you're missing out on...
I think you'd really like playing with hairless ones!
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Before you judge Ashley, walk in a mile in her shoes.
Replies: >>27945
>>27938
thats going in her fap folder
Why doesn't Ashley like smooth balls?
Why does she prefer hairy balls?
Do enjoy sucking and licking hair, Ashley?
Replies: >>27985
>>27982
Smooth balls never made a skilled shaver
Replies: >>28255
>>27985
Well, you ought to know, sweetie.
>a girl with small tits (pink nipples) just posted a video on rumble about reptilians on /pol/
really makes you think
>>28448
And you didn't share?
Replies: >>28503
>>28448
post link you tard
Replies: >>28503
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Ashley said I could share this pic of her from 2018. I asked her what she was holding. She said it was anal bleach. She wasn't lying.
>>28450
>>28451
before the thread was deleted she posted about being underage so I think the laws of america forbid me
Replies: >>28504 >>28511
>>28448
>>28503
You wrote the first post like a tard so let me try and decipher this. A chick posted a video on rumble that was about reptilians. She then made a thread on /pol/ about this video and posted her tits? You can share the video where I assume she isn't showing her tits.
>>28503
It doesn't matter if she's not doing anything sexual you mong, now gib link
Do you guys think Ashley trims her bush or is it a jungle down there?
>>28597
I prefer not to think about it tbh tbh
Replies: >>28615
>>28597
https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=N2FPQvwhSDY
>>28597
>doesnt shave armpits
>doesnt shave legs
>takes 3 months to trim her haircut
Hm... that's a tough call.
Replies: >>28615
>>28597
>>28598
>>28605
>3. Has very thick and deep rooted pubic hair and is unable to shave
https://icum.to/ashleyjones/
Replies: >>28618
>>28615
you never know how much of that is the truth, half-truths or complete bullshit. Also that only applies to shaving, I specifically mentioned trimming.
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Do you guys know what happens when a girl truly lets her bush go fully natural, and never trims?

Do you know what happens?

I know what happens. Sometimes, I wish I didn't. It's not information for the faint hearted.

I'll tell you guys if you really want to know, but don't say I didn't warn you.
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>Pubic Hair Grooming Injuries Presenting to U.S. Emergency Departments
>From 2002 to 2010, an observed 335 actual ED visits for GU injury related to grooming products provided an estimated 11,704 incidents (95% confidence interval 8430-15,004).
https://sci-hub.ru/https://doi.org/10.1016/j.urology.2012.08.025

Hope that smooth vagina was worth it, ladies.
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