/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

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I need medical advice and some of you guys probably need advice too.

There are small black spots between some of my teeth. It almost looks like when you have a small piece of pepper stuck between your teeth. I've tried brushing a lot and flossing, nothing is happening. I thought it was something stuck to the teeth, but the more I mess with it I'm starting to think it's on the gums. No matter what I do it won't leave. I'm not going to the dentist because they're going to inject me with fluoride and probably circumcise me while they're at it. What do?
>>21061 (OP) 
Imagine asking retards here for medical advice, but here's mine:

The black spots you're describing could indicate a variety of issues, including dental decay, tartar buildup, or even gum disease. Ignoring these symptoms could lead to more serious dental problems down the line.

Since you've already tried brushing and flossing without success, it's best to seek professional dental care, retard.
Replies: >>21065 >>21069
>>21061 (OP) 
Le flouride memes are cool and all online, but seriously go see a medical professional. Don't be a fucking retard.
Replies: >>21065 >>21069
>>21062
It's not like it's a major health issue. It's better than asking on Reddit or some shit where they're going to recommend you start estrogen for a tooth problem.
>not going to see a dentist
>recommends seeing a dentist
Maybe you're right it's stupid to ask seeing as you lack reading comprehension. I hate retards who answer a question without actually answering it and just call you retarded. Peak boomer forum behavior.

>>21064
You're retarded.
Replies: >>21067
Another great thread.
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>>21065
>I have a tooth problem, I don't know what it is!
>Refuses to seek medical help
Here's your darwin award, nigger.
Replies: >>21068 >>21069
>>21067
It's essentially cosmetic. No wonder medical malpractice is one of the leading deaths in America, all you faggots run to the doctor to get shot up with a bunch of unnecessary drugs and chemicals for the littlest of things.
Replies: >>21069
>>21062
>>21064
>>21067
Bunch of fucking normie retards, dentists are basically butchers. Did you know their profession has one of the highest rates of suicide? It's because everyone hates them and they have to live with the guilt of ripping people off when they're in pain.

I had a tooth infection and it would have cost me about $400, maybe more at the dentist. $800+ if the tooth was going to be pulled. It would have also taken up to 5 days or longer. I was in excruciating pain and had to work.

Since I'm not a little bitch and I know how to take care of myself, I bought a bottle of Fish-Mox from walmart for $17 which is amoxicillin. It comes in a pill form despite being marketed as being for aquarium fish. The pill imprint code is *the exact same* as prescription "people" amoxicillin. I looked up the dosage for an adult male, took it, and my problem went away.

>>21068
Yup. Bunch of fluoride-brained weaklings.

>>21061 (OP) 
You probably have gingivitis. Make sure your teeth are kept clean from now on and keep brushing/flossing. That will probably sort it out on its own, but you can also do a baking soda rinse and oil pulling. Look up oil pulling, basically you swish oil between your teeth a couple times a day and it's quite good for them and the gums. Use coconut or olive oil.
Replies: >>21074
>>21061 (OP) 
I'm a Dentist. What you want to do is mix sodium hydroxide, sodium hypochlorite and phosphoric acid in a cup and slosh it around in your mouth for approximately 5 minutes. After that you will no longer have any issues with the black spots between your teeth. You're welcome.
Replies: >>21073
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>>21072
Nice try fucker
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>>21069
Thank you. I don't want to shell out hundreds of dollars (no health insurance) to a dentist when the problem is really small and especially when a dentists solution is spraying chemicals at my gums, which is one of the body's most absorbent body parts. I know this could be solved naturally and wanted to see if people had luck using certain methods. I ran out of tooth paste for a few days and that's when I noticed this happen. I'll try oil pulling and baking soda and give results in a few days.
>>21074
Wow. Very beautifurru teeth. You'd be perfect foru jav "japanese adurto video" you'rru be a big staru. How dó you feeru about bukkake and ugry business men?
Replies: >>21077
>Mom, can we get Tahiti?
>We have Tahiti at at home
>Tahiti at home >>21076
It's just not Tahiti without the obnoxious tripcode, avatar, and signature
>>21061 (OP) 
Go to a dentist. I got mine cleaned in about half an hour. I drink a lot of tea, and coffee and I smoke and I got all the gums and spots removed.
Replies: >>21085
>>21080
>I got all the gums and spots removed.
They removed your gums? Sounds about right.
Replies: >>21086
>>21085
Shit. I meant plaques
>>21074
I can't see any black spots, but if it's on the gumline I might have the same thing. In my case my dentist said it's discoloration from exposure due to receding gumlines and it's normal. The tooth part under the gums is not protected by enemal making it easier to stain. 
It won't go away with brushing but if you brush well it won't get worse. Just be careful not to brush too hard, because receding gum is permanent. I have 2 teeth that are always sensitive to cold and sweet because of that.
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>>21061 (OP) 
you probably got gum aids from sucking on those dirty, grimey Lite Brite pegs again. 

>>21074
vid related
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>>21061 (OP) 
Try looking up "clinical unblackening method"  C.U.M. for short

Worked for my wife, but i took extra measures to make sure the problem wouldn't show up again I punch her in the mouth daily, she has no more teeth. The benefits are endless, picrelated
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I go to the dentist every 6 months for a cleaning which means the dental hygenist scrapes the plaque away which accumulates at the gum line even if you brush and floss religiously. If not done eventually the gums recede and the teeth will begin to loosen. I'm always asked if I want the flouride treatment and I refuse. Fluoride is not good for you.There was even an article in the AMA journal regarding the negative effects of flouride no matter what the government says as it adds it to the water. I have a well so I don't have a flouride problem. Also choose a fluoride free tooth paste.
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Fluoride and chemicals should be the least of your worries if you're going to the dentist. I'd be more worried about getting raped. There's been numerous reports through the years of them taking advantage of their patients while they are under anesthesia.  Seinfeld had an episode where Jerry was raped by his dentist but of course everyone found it hilarious because he's a guy and male rape is hilarious but if it happened to Elaine I guarantee more people would have become aware of all too real danger of Dentist rape. Thankfully I am very aware and for that reason have not been to a dentist in 15 years and take care of all my issues myself using products I find on amazon. You can find dental filling kits on there for way cheaper than what they charge for at the dentist btw. Anyways stay away from the dentist unless you want to get raped.
male on male rape IS funny, cmon now, a man fucking another man in the ass is funny and weird, thats why gays are weird why would any man fuck another mans dirty hairy smelly anus. Has to be a sick fuck.
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>>21109
>using products I find on Amazon

There's an old saying, "A man who serves as his own lawyer has a fool for a client." You can probably substitute dentist for lawyer.

My dentist is a cutie single female so it would be consensual plus I never need a procedure which would require anesthesia.
Replies: >>21115
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>>21109
But I'm sure your post is tongue in cheek. Pretty funny BTW.
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>trust the experts guys!
see video, that's your expert. I'll take care of myself, thanks

>>21113
>A man who serves as his own lawyer has a fool for a client.
tbh sounds like something a "mordecai" would say, if you catch my drift

>>21109
Whether you're joking or not, this is actually a reasonable point. Run a search on "dentist rape" or whatever and yeah, you can probably find hundreds of examples from just the last decade.

Also, taking care at least SOME of your medical needs by yourself isn't anywhere near as big of a deal as people think. They act like if you stitch a minor wound or pull a tooth that you're insane. Wouldn't you rather have a little bit of first aid and medical knowledge? What if you found yourself in a situation where you didn't have access to a doctor?

Everyone should have a copy of Where There Is No Doctor and Where There Is No Dentist, which are excellent reference manuals for basic medical and dental needs. They're literally designed for 75 IQ villagers.

Relying on "professionals" and "experts" for all of your needs isn't just weak minded, it could get you killed if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm not saying NEVER go to a doctor, but building up a little self-reliance isn't a bad thing.
>>21109

https://youtu.be/LLWlBgj0uOc?feature=shared
I've never been raped at the dentist but I did get a boner once when the cute dental assistant had her fingers in my mouth and kept rubbing them along my lower lip.
Replies: >>21165
I had one who looked like a fake scene girl and would but her bobs in my face and would kneel on my crotch. I don;'t know if she did it on purpose or not.
Replies: >>21165
>>21074
Drink green tea
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>>21074
Update: Good news. One of the small black pieces came out between my teeth today. There's still more to go, but I didn't expect to see results this quickly.

I've been doing oil pulling with olive oil for 10 minutes once every day, along with regular brushing and flossing. Today I became more invested. First I brushed the areas with baking soda+water, brushed for two minutes, rinsed. Then I did oil pulling for 10 minutes. Then I brushed with tooth paste. Then I rinsed with diluted hydrogen peroxide for a minute, then flossed. When I flossed this small hard black piece between my teeth loosened and came out very easily. I won't force the other areas until they come out on their own. I think the oil pulling, baking soda, and hydrogen peroxide did most of the heavy lifting. I had no progress on just tooth paste alone. I notice when I brush with baking soda my teeth are whiter. I should do that more regularly along with rinsing with hydrogen peroxide. I use baking soda and hydrogen peroxide mixed to get off very tough stains in my kitchen sink, works like a charm.

>>21109
Dentists rape people physically and financially. I actually forgot all about dentist rape, I remember hearing about how a bunch of kids were getting diddled by a dentist who was knocking them out. The only time this would make any sense is if they had vagina teeth, I watched some horror movie about vagina teeth. But I'm not sure if it would hurt or feel good to have your vagina teeth worked on. One of my bottom front teeth is almost see-through when I press my tongue up against it, I'm pretty sure it grew that way. Anyways, I've been prepared for the idea of it chipping and having to fix it. I've actually looked into some of those filling kits a few years ago, it's pretty insane how good people can make their teeth look for very cheap. I think some of them are more temporary, lasting around a month before you have to reapply. Maybe there's more long term ones, have you used them?
Replies: >>21141 >>21357
>>21132
I have and you get what you pay for. if it's an emergency or you fear dentist rape like me go ahead and check them out. Otherwise take the chance and go to  Dentist. Those kits are basically a short term solution to a long term problem.
Replies: >>21143
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>>21141
I'd be fine with temporary solutions and maintaining them, it's not like anyone is getting all that close to your teeth. I have a few daily bodily habits like applying vitamin E to my face a few times a day, brushing teeth, and fixing my hair. Adding another one on occasionally isn't a big deal. I'm more concerned about the ingredients in these things. I don't have a fear of dentist rape like you, though I do understand the concern. Worse comes to worst and you *had* to go to the dentist, wear some spy glasses to see if they rape you, or this wicked cool jesus spy cross necklace. I mean sure, you couldn't tell during the rape, but after the fact you'd have a recording and could make a chunk of change from a lawsuit. In that case, I'd want to get raped at the dentist so I could have a lot of money and lose my virginity. But if I was going to be raped by a gloved hand, I'd want it to be by Michael Jackson and not some bald fuck at my local dentist.

My teeth have been a problem for me since I was a kid, my parents were really bad about teaching me good habits, one being brushing my teeth. I had to get 4 root canals at a very young age (maybe 5 years old) and had continual tooth abscess that my parents didn't address and I'm really lucky that never progressed into anything serious. Years later I learned that those are serious, my parents just shrugged it off. At least in my adult life I've become better at maintaining general cleanliness.
Replies: >>21152 >>21156
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>>21109
dentist rape is very much real, just as much as surgery rape is

there actually was a leaked video of an open-heart surgery, where a female patient was laying down on the hospital bed and there was some sort of veil/curtain thing hung up around the neck area, separating the head area and the torso area so to speak 

one of the surgeons is hanging around the "head section" you can kinda tell where this story is HEADING at huh, don't get aHEAD of yourself though of the curtain by himself, so who's on the other side cannot see what's going on

as the operation is ongoing and the rest of the medical team is busy, motherfucker stealthtyly inserts his cock in the woman's mouth multiple times

someone post it, i'm sure some of you degenerates have this clip (i originally saw it on /gif, i was browsing for scientific purposes obviously)
>>21146
yo that's fucked up, jesus christ. I don't even want to see the video. Imagine if that was your mom or your wife or something. I'd happily go to prison for beating the guy to death. Not only is it sexually fucked up, you know if that's where his mind is he's not doing his job (FUCKING HEART SURGERY) correctly, so he's not just mouth raping her, he's putting her life at risk
>>21146
Aw hell naw dawg what the fuck. I hope she lived because that would be extra fucked up if she's getting mouth raped and dies. He was probably turned on by her titties since obviously her breasts would be exposed during heart surgery. But if she did die then at least she wouldnt have to live with the taste of some guys sweaty cock in her mouth.
>>21143
I'll be your daddy and take care of you. You won't have to worry about dentist rape with me because I'm not a dentist.
Replies: >>21154 >>21155
>>21152
this thread isn't about you, unless you want to ask a question about diabetes

>>21146
don't be a redditard, it's /gif/ not /gif
Replies: >>21166 >>21167
>>21152
>I'll be your daddy and take care of you.
I'd rather you take care of your heart disease first. (;・_・)
Replies: >>21166
>>21143
I had glasses but they were crap and didn't have audio. This also looks more inconspicuous think in going to buy. If you ever get tired if your teeth you could take up meth and eventually they'll fall out then after you compelte rehab make an incredibly sad video and get people to buy you some new dentures. The sadder the better chance of getting free dentures.
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>>21156
sisteranon (or should I say LIARanon) is that you?
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>>21158
idk.
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>>21163
Oh it's you all right. Why'd you do it to us?
Replies: >>21216
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>>21126
>>21130
I too had a dental assistant constantly hugging my head with her boobies. I was like 15 at the time and sadly in my autism phase, so I just got really irritated by the idea that I am just some sort of toy for her. Plus, she was wearing camouflage pants.. At a dental care facility..
>>21154
>>21155
I have neither.

Also, the other feeder-fetish poster isn't me. I don't have diabetes or trouble shitting.
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>>21154
(•᷄- •᷅ ;)  i'm sowwy i wrot /gif on the /ashleyj (;° ロ°)  

can you spot duke /cheat in this /webm /retard?
Replies: >>21168
>>21167
Eat shit faggot, find another image board to ruin with your post-2016 newfaggotry
Replies: >>21169
>>21168
i'm /sowwy you got /upset

did you spot /yourself shifting from the left to center position in the above /webm?

could you make a /based /pre-2016 /oldhetero post example so i can improve my /imageboardposting skills? Thank you in /advance uwu
Replies: >>21170
>>21169
https://reddit.com/
Replies: >>21171
>>21170
major fag alert! major fag alert!

mods can you please ban this guy? he posted le /cringe plebbit website

and by the way, it's /reddit.com   not https://reddit.com/

get your shit straight gay, niggerfaggit

move this shit to the void
I get a checkup/cleaning done every 6 months and I'm normally in the clear since I brush and floss daily. The most work I've had done was getting my wisdom teeth removed which was about $1500 but it was covered under my insurance through work so no big deal. Luckily I didn't have any severe swelling like some people experience post-operation. They also prescribed me some good painkillers which I may have abused a little while gaming.
I want to know what games were you playing that made you take painkillers.
Replies: >>21203
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>>21202
My dentist jumped off a hotel balcony the day before my appt. It was like a sunday and i had an appt on Monday. I remeber getting the call and they said he wouldnt be in and i was pissed because it was like the 2nd time it got cancelled. I then asked when i would beable to rechedule and they told me he killed himself. I thought it was because he didnt want tow ork on my teeth but no apparently his wife was cheating on him. It was weird.
Replies: >>21213
>>21211
You killed your dentist. His blood is on your dirty crooked teeth. They lied to you so that you wouldn't fee bad about yourself. You should be ashamed of yourself and your teeth.
I have an undiagnosed Mental Illness, probably. I ended up believing what I was writing to be true so technically I wasn't just lying to everyone here but also to myself.
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>>21214
What did you lie about?
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>>21215
Meant for 
>>21164
Replies: >>21359
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OP here. I've been continuing the oil pulling, baking soda, peroxide, tooth paste, and flossing as described in >>21132. Another black piece of tartar came out today, I have only one other place where it's noticeable and I predict at this rate it will come out within the next few days. No dentist needed, saved hundreds of dollars, using all fine ingredients, didn't get raped. I also figured out why the tartar turned black. When blood meets plaque it can turn black. The few days I ran out of tooth paste I switched to baking soda as a replacement, which is more abrasive than a soft tooth paste, which caused my gums to bleed a bit and thus the black tartar suddenly appeared. However, when brushing regularly with baking soda my gums adjust and no longer bleed to the abrasiveness. Problem is solved and my teeth are whiter after doing oil pulling, baking soda, and peroxide.
Replies: >>21391
>>21215
>>21216
https://videos.icum.to/w/41XffE5Mc6sNXgfqjYee7Y
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>>21359
Congratulations. You made a fool out of them and an ass out of me. Then again you gave birth to the greatest newspaper on this board. It’s also the only newspaper on this board so it’s best by default.
>>21357
Glad everything worked out. If you plan on continuing the baking soda peroxide routine I suggest not doing it every day. Maybe every 3 days, tops. Because it could screw up your enamel.
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>>21146
This must be it, just saw it posted.
Serious question, what exactly is the difference between lice and crabs?

Are crabs just lice that are in your pubes, or are they different creatures entirely? Like, would crabs be just as happy on your head hair, and would lice be comfortable in your pubes?

Please help.
Replies: >>22114
>>22098
lets be real, there is only one person and i mean only ONE person here on this thumb-tack-Ur-annoucementent-onto-the-corck-board-of-degeneracy that is /ashley/, who is more than qualified to answer this based on their own documented lack of hygienic standards

BUT ANYWAYS IF NOT...

ok so, let me preface Im not a doctor but lice are small wingless insects that belong to the order of Phthiraptera that largely consists of 3 main types of lice that infest humans. 
Head lice, body lice, and pubic lice which are actually commonly referred to as crabs.
Head lice infest the scalp and hair, feeding on blood several times a day and laying eggs on hair shafts close to the scalp.
Body lice usually infest things like clothing and bed sheets, however they can also move to the skin to feed on blood.
Pubic lice or "crabs" infest the pubic hair and sometimes other coarse body hair, for example chest hair, NIPPLE hair and even eyebrows.
Crabs are usually sexually transmitted but can also be spread thru close personal contact or even simply thru shared bedding
Pubic lice/crabs are usually tan to grayish-white in colour and feature crab like claws, hence the name "Crabs"

TLDR: both lice and crabs are parasocial parasitic infestations. Lice can affect the body, scalp or pubic region whilst crabs specifically refer to pubic lice infestations.

If you suffer from itching, visible nits or lice in the pubic hair or sometimes a bluish-gray discoloration indicating an area of the pubic area where lice might be feeding, please consult a GP or alternatively look up some rando's blog for "NaTuRaL" remedies that offer no actual data to support their claims and also may or may not be locked behind a paywall.
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>>22114
>please consult a GP 
you mean the one that is definitely locked behind a paywall?
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Have any of you guys taken "therapy drugs" ? What is your opinion on it and how was your experience? i used to take Seroquel years and years ago, it is good, knocks you out really well for hours it is for schizophrenia. I do agree that therapists and their drugs are evil and makes you retarded.
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>>22164
yes
>>22120
oh right, I sometimes forget there are countries that dont have free health care options
I keep getting eyebrow dandruff.
Except its only in my right eyebrow, does anyone else get this, what causes this and how do i fix it?
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The anon who posted about having trouble pooping should try this.
>splinting is where you shove your thumb up your vagina to shit
>an estimated 30% of women do this
https://www.michiganmedicine.org/health-lab/splinting-latest-trend-help-eliminate-constipation
Replies: >>23427 >>23432
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>>23412
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>>23412
splinting is normal though, I was kinda weirded out when I heard about it from one of my girlfriends growing up but my mom and sister said they both do it too
Replies: >>23447 >>23450
>>23432
what kind of freak asks their mother and sister whether or not they hook their thumb in their vagina to dislodge shit from their ass
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>>23432
>>23447
This is really just another way females masturbate. The only difference is that they are doing it while they are pooping.
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>>23408
You wouldn't happen to be right handed, would you?
Replies: >>23630
>>23408
>what causes this
My right eyebrow has dry skin after I masturbate to male orgy porn

>how do i fix it?
Apply vitamin e oil to your eyebrow. Vitamin e oil is really good for dry skin.
Replies: >>23630
>>23408
also what youu eat effects derma. youu should try glory holes for gov.cu;m on face
Replies: >>23630
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Ashley, I need your advice. I went to the gym today and I somehow caught crabs in the locker room. What do?
>>23542
Nice cankle.
Replies: >>23549 >>23550
>>23545
I'm far too active to have cankles. That's swelling because I'm recovering from a ruptured Achilles tendon. It's inflamed because I force myself to walk normally without limping or wearing an orthopedic boot. I just did some physical therapy exercises right before and I was standing on it all day at work lifting freight. I'm also a pedestrian and have to walk everywhere. I'm fat like a football lineman. I don't waddle when I walk and before I was injured, I could run a 5.4 forty yard dash. If I had cankles, that crab would be stretched to it's limit.
>>23545
Tbh I dont even know what a cankle is
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>>23550
They look like this
>>23542
Crustastians? Crust? Wear your crusty cum socks to assert dominance in the airwaves like I do.
Replies: >>23559
>>23552
>crustastians
It's crustaceans. These are new socks. I don't cum on my clothing. That's retarded. I wipe myself off with a towel. Tissues are too smol and get soggy with cum like when you wet wads of toilet paper to stick it to the ceiling.
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>>23559
Crustasuns crustyshuns. Who gives a hoot you knew what I meant nigger. Well Duke Nukem would tell you to shuv your cum towels up your ass.
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>>23561
Maybe a fictional character would in your homosexual fantasy, but you're not going to do anything, shrimp dick. Your balls haven't dropped yet.
>>23542
Well you def won't get athlete's foot
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>>23566
kek
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>>23536
Yes I am right handed, i dont understand the connection though Dr Nigga

>>23537
Im just gonna ignore your first part of your post and say thanks for the tip about vitamin E oil but I did my own research and went with coconut oil.
Its not only cheaper and moisturizing for dry skin, butt has anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, and antiviral properties.

>>23540
Well I have been putting cocoNUT oil on my face, so does that count?

>>23542
>I somehow caught crabs in the locker room
and grats now you have aids! see picrel
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>>23630
No one cares. You're a faggot.
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>>23630
Nice cum sock, easy clean up
Replies: >>23667
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>>23659
um actually 3 tubbies including an actual Doctor replied to my drybrow problem, so unlike your parents, ppl actually do care about me :) 

>>23663
>easy clean up
you know what socks sucks, is when the cum lands on the inbetween part of the screen and the laptop screen border, because its tighter than a  __ to get in there and clean that cum up
Replies: >>23669
>>23667
>so unlike your parents, ppl actually do care about me :)
I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't care about you. They aren't proud of faggots. You're so cumbrained, you didn't even cover your screen with plastic.
Replies: >>23671
>>23669
>I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't care about you. They aren't proud of faggots
You found that out the hard way.
Replies: >>23682
>>23671
No, I was never left alone with your uncle. I mean that I was brought up in a Christian home. Has nothing to do with your butt spelunking.
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I just learned I'm probably injected with Graphene Oxide and god knows what else at my dental appointment last week when I went to get my wisdom tooth removed. They pulled another one for good measure so I got jabbed plently. Am I dun goofed? Or is there a way to flush these nanobots out of my system. Other than antioxidants I've found no conclusive fix.
Replies: >>24034
>>24030
sue them for billions of dollars and live the rest of your life on a tropical island
Replies: >>24039
>>24034
Sadly suing isn't even really a thing here.
My pinky toe on my right foot keeps needing to be popped. If I don't pop it, it hurts. But since I keep having to pop it, the area hurts a little. It's been this continuous cycle for a week.
Replies: >>25854
Dear Ashley Jones, I have been officially diagnosed severe terminal virgin disorder(of doom). I NEED sex or I will literally DIE from acute CUM OVERLOAD. but I am suicidal so I will only have sex with you because i ur gay and i want to die passively. If you dont make sex with me I WILL DIE OF CUM
Replies: >>25647
>>25641
Cut an iceberg lettuce in half, microwave it for 15-20 seconds and fuck it. Make sure you toss it out afterwards so your mom doesn't use it for a salad.
>>25638
Update. I stopped popping my toe even though the urge was there. My toe pop cycle is cured and I no longer feel the need to pop nor do I have toe pain.
Replies: >>25861
>>25854
>My toe pop cycle is cured and I no longer feel the need to pop nor do I have toe pain.
good to hear

what did you mean by "popping your toe" like cracking it?
also feel free to post a large, high res photo of them toes so I can understand even better, aha!
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Replies: >>25886 >>25901
>>25885
Meh too many words, I'll pass.
Replies: >>25901
>>25885
fascinating! The Chronicles of Geneva being delayed from publishing for so very long is really cool. I wish there was more time-capsule mindset in culture, like "nobody read that book, so that we can let him write whatever needs to be told to our grandkids".

I remember reading one of those a plain old text file websites that said there were too many fatalities from things like plane crashes among people who worked with bio-engineering. Like the government has to filter who has the ability to use that information ad-hoc.

>>25886
african
whats your best advice for getting rid of hiccups?
Replies: >>27841
>>27840
Take deep breaths and slowly exhale. Drinking cum upside down is another method.
Replies: >>27842 >>27844
>>27841
I actually solved it. You were kind of close though.
No, it didnt involve drinking cum upside down because i dont have a keg of cum on standby unlike you.
what i did was, take a deep breath in and hold my breath and mentally focus on maintaining that breath.... and it actually worked


does anyone else use flags instead of reaction images?
like this post Im using the Hard-Gay flag not because Im hard or gay but rather because i want to say YAHOOO! like my fren Hard Gay because I am now hiccup free!!!!
>>27841
Why cum filter to cum?
Im fat and autistic D:
Replies: >>28057 >>28058
>>28032
same
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>>28032
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The board is dying. Does anyone know CPR?
Replies: >>28063 >>28065
>>28061
I do but it ain't free little man
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>>28061
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So-called "premature" ejaculation is a beneficial evolutionary trait. Being able to ejaculate quickly has multiple benefits, including, but certainly not limited to:
>Reproductive efficiency (impregnate more females faster)
>Less discomfort for the female
>Being able to ejaculate almost immediately upon entering the vagina means that you can be safer from competing males or predators
>Conserve your energy for more interesting or productive tasks
>Save lots of time
>Establishes psychological dominance over the female, she's merely a recepticle for your semen; her pleasure is irrelevant
Basically, premature ejaculation is for Chads. Only simps and betas would waste their time trying to be a "good lover." The entire concept of premature ejaculation is flawed - there is no such thing. There are only "winners" and "losers" genetically. Premature ejaculation is a gynocentric psy-op designed to disempower men. It's literally considered a "sexual disorder." What, successfully breeding a female is a disorder? What kind of reptilian bullshit is that?

Those of you on this board who have had sex with a woman, be honest with yourselves. How many times have you had sex with a girl and thought, "Wow, this feels so good, but I have to think about baseball or my dead grandmother to try and hold back my cum. I want to cum so badly because this pussy feels so hot and tight, but the girl will think I'm a loser."? Why not just be a dominant CHAD and hold the girl down, cum inside of her immediately (Chads don't pull out or wear condoms btw), and then go about your business? Don't apologize, don't "try to make her feel good too :-)," just cum in her pussy whenever you want and move the fuck on with your day. She'll be so flabbergasted at how outrageously masculine and powerful you are that she'll be begging for more, I guarantee it.
>>28632
Yes, exactly!!! I dont know why people make a big deal about ejaculating to prematures. No, its NOT a disorder and its perfectly natural!
Replies: >>28654
>>28632
100% true. This is also why jacking off a lot to porn gives men premature ejaculation.

"I'm living in a harem fantasy where I dominate women and don't need to do anything to have sex, infinite options in my laptop. I wonder how my biology will adapt to these tradeoffs that do not reflect my position in society."
>>28652
Are you a woman? Do even know what Premature ejaculation is?
Replies: >>28656
>>28632
>>28634
>>28652
That’s not what premature ejaculation is. Okay ladies!
Replies: >>28656
Trust me, PE(Premature Ejaculation) is much MUCH better than ED(Erectile Dysfunction).
Replies: >>28687
>>28653
>>28654
Explain what premature ejaculation is then
>>28652
>This is also why jacking off a lot to porn gives men premature ejaculation.
When does this ever happen? I only ever hear about guys getting addicted to porn, and then not being able to get it up for their gfs/wives because IRL isn't as stimulating. I've never heard about porn use causing premature ejaculation
Replies: >>28658
>>28657
>IRL isn't as stimulating
Yeah, and familiarity breeds contempt.
Replies: >>28661
Yeah, I specifically stopped caring about jacking off because I figured if I were going to cum too fast anyway, I might as well practice deathgrip on my dick so I can't feel anything the next time I have sex (which I haven't done in a long, long time)
Replies: >>28660
>>28659
Your focus should be on making her cum fast.
Replies: >>28662 >>28665
>>28658
I have eaten at least 2 meals every single day of my life. That's tens of thousands of meals. Every day I look forward to eating and actively plan out what shitty pizza I'm going to eat. The concept that being familiar with something makes it boring is absolute BS.
Replies: >>28664
>>28660
literally who cares
Replies: >>28668
>>28661
Have you tried fucking the same sexy woman daily for five days? On the fifth day, I couldn't cum inside her no matter how hard I tried. So she had to give me a handjob to get me off.
Replies: >>28667 >>28670
>>28660
How do you make a girl "cum fast"?
Replies: >>28666 >>28668
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>>28665
slide this on her pussy
>>28664
My abillity to stay rock hard for any given women slowly fades the more I fuck a chick. Anyone Else experience this phenom?
>>28665
>>28662
1. give her a proper back massage
2. use an Ashley vibrator on her clitoris
3. give her vagina, perineum and butthole a proper tongue job and G-spot fingering
4. once she's super aroused and wet, fuck her hard and fast, and both of you can cum together
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>>28668
Jebediah doesn't need any of those things
>>28664
>Have you tried fucking the same sexy woman daily for five days?
yes
>On the fifth day, I couldn't cum inside her no matter how hard I tried.
I've never had this problem, I don't relate. Pussy feels so good. 1 orgasm per day = no problem whatsoever (it isn't enough for me even). I would understand if you were having sex 2-3 times per day, but just once per day for five days? You should be able to nut.
>So she had to give me a handjob to get me off.
I don't mean this in a confrontational way, but are you cut? If so you probably lack sensitivity in your glans and thus need the "rough" texture/friction/speed of a hand to achieve climax.
Replies: >>28677
>>28668
women SHOULD NOT in ANY CIRCUMSTANCE experience sexual stimulation it iS DISGUSTING
Replies: >>28672
>>28671
your NUTS!
>>28668
Fuck off that's not how it works. I've done all those things except for the back massage and vibrator and it's rare to cum at the same time
Replies: >>28676
>>28673
A back massage eases her mind and gets her in mood. Ashley's vibrator works wonders on her clitoris. The trick is to keep stimulating her until she says she is about to cum. Bearing in mind that it would still take several more minutes before she climaxes. So during that brief window you fuck her hard and fast, thus achieving climax together.
>>28670
If you are healthy and in your 20s, having sex several times daily for a week shouldn't be an issue. The "problem" is I was fucking the same woman for five days. It would be quite different if I got to fuck different women during the same period.
>>28632
hmmmm we need to test this theory.
Everyone form a line, Ashley, pull down your pants and lie down

>>28655
theres probably dudes that have both. Can you get both? like you have trouble getting and maintaining an erection but if you do, you cum too fast. actually now that im thinking about this (that isnt gay btw) it would be better to have both, because atleast you nut quick before you go limp! perfect! and they say too wrongs dont make a right! well fuck you Miss Cartwright my 3rd grade teacher, I proved you wrong after all these years.

>>28668
the one time I had sex with a girl, i was giving her a back rub and she had an orgasm. The butt clenching, toe curling type of orgasm. not sure if she was a freak or Im just really good at back massaging
Replies: >>28767
how do tape worms survive without light and air
Replies: >>28731
>>28730
They've adapted to breathe your farts
this is actually a great question
Replies: >>28740
>>28731
Thats why the mexicans love tape worms because the bean farts keep the worms alive
Replies: >>28742
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>>28741
>mailto:worms
lost it
>>28687
>Can you get both? like you have trouble getting and maintaining an erection but if you do, you cum too fast.
I doubt you can get both.
Replies: >>28772 >>28778
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>>28767
>He's never ejaculated while his penis is flatent before

oh my sweet sweet sweet summer child
Replies: >>28779
>>28767
This can definitely happen but it's not "premature ejaculation" (which doesn't exist). You're just nervous and the adrenaline is making it difficult to get hard. When you finally calm down enough to get hard enough to penetrate, the vagina feels so good that you instantly nut (like a genetically successful Chad).
>>28772
Do you think there is an evolutionary niche where a species or race adapts makes predators/prey laugh uncontrollably at it's appearance?
How long can someone be enclosed in a car with the windows up until they die from lack of air?
Replies: >>28964 >>28995
>>28962
That reminds of that story about the Polish family who were trapped inside their car and the father used a coat hanger to get them out.
Replies: >>28965
>>28964
out of the car or out of life? you can make a lot of use out of a coat hanger...
>>28962
All cars have vents in different places like the blower for the a/c. And even vents in the b pillars,  trunk, and inside the quarter panels. You just don't notice or see all of them because they are behind plastic interior panels. That's why when you slam the door your ears don't hurt. So unless something was able to block all of them, or some type of poisonous gas was flowing through. They should be able to survive till they starved. Unless they were parked in the sun or some freezing cold place.
>>21061 (OP) 
My son is entering the 7th grade. He is underdeveloped physically because he was on ADHD pills that made his appetite non existant for his younger years. Now he is hitting puberty, off the ADHD meds,but still hardly eats. He has the body of a 8 year old but is in fact 12. Tell me what to do before he gets his first swirly.
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>>29145
I got ya covered, man.
Replies: >>29150
>>29145
>He has the body of a 8 year old but is in fact 12. Tell me what to do before he gets his first swirly.
Wow! Bring him to my house and I'll make him a man real quick.
Replies: >>29150
>>29145
If this is real then what self respecting parent forces their kid to take ADHD pills? ADHD isn't real. It's normal that young boys won't focus on algebra when they've been stuck behind a desk for 6 hours. You're supposed to be outside at 8, not a sitting slave getting ready for 54 more years of corporate desk sitting purgatory.
Replies: >>29149 >>29150
>>29148
It wasn't me, it was my baby momma. She left me and put him on the pills and legally I couldn't do anything until I got custody of him which I got recently
>>29146
>>29147
>>29148
Fellas these are all great suggestions, but my son is about to have his shit pushed in for being a shimp this school year. Should I slip steroids in his lunchables?
Replies: >>29152
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>>29150
Don't put him to public school, put him in Christian private school where no one can make fun of him but God.
Replies: >>29176
Don't even send him to school at all. To give your kid the best shot you have to become a neo-feralist. Just set the kid loose into the wild and pray a pack of local animals takes them in. They'll literally be better off than if you and/or your baby momma raised them yourself (too retarded as we can see in this thread) or, god forbid, you let the state raise them like most normies do.
Replies: >>29176
>>29152
>>29160
His mother was given jurisdicktion on where he went to skew since I pulled rock and she threw paper. Fuck our legal system man.
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>>29145
this is really important that you make sure he knows the difference ok?
Here's a question for men. Since you guys beat yourself off multiple times every week, would you theoretically be good at giving another man a hand job?
>>29681
Not necessarily but it's possible. A bi friend of mine said she learned how to get girls off by practicing on herself before she ever hooked up with another girl. I imagine another guy beating you off would feel akin to a handshake rather than the soft touch of a woman. Women are so soft that just their touch can make you feel tingles. I hear women prefer the feel of a man's calluses but not during intercourse. I can't imagine calluses feeling too good during a hand job.
>>29681
Yes, in highschool I had a gf who just didn't know what the fuck was up and I had to show her how to jerk me off at an average speed and decent grip. I think she thought my penis was delicate like a flower or something because she was going painfully slow and holding my dick like you'd hold a dying relatives hand. I WANTED MY DICK PULVERIZED. It wasn't her first time jerking off a guy so i dunno what the hell the previous guy's issue was.
Replies: >>29686
>>29684
I think your issue is you have dry jerked most of your life and have lost most all of your sensitivity.
Replies: >>29713
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>>29681
Sign... only one way to find out. Any tubsisters in the Minnetonka, Minnesota area?
>>29686
Well I used to like my cock put in a death grip, but not so much anymore. Now I just go by Jessica.
Replies: >>31212
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP ME THERES MICROPLASTICS IN MY BALLS. QUICKLY SOMEONE HELP JACK ME OFF TO GET RID OF THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Replies: >>29781
>>29774
yes misstress ashley
Replies: >>29784
>>29781
be careful talking like that bro. ashley might turn you into a sissy slave.
HOW DO I SHOT WEB IN PATIENT? Hope she doesn't mind.
Why don't I need to wipe anymore Ashley?
Replies: >>31121
>>31120
been pinching them clean?
Replies: >>31129
>>31121
For several weeks now
Replies: >>31131
>>31129
bit toilet paper is going to assassinate you
>>29713
No, dude, noooooooooo
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arachnodactyly

Ashley do you have this?
Replies: >>31485
>>31478
Looks perfectly normal to me, am I the only one? This sounds like one of the snowflake pseudodiseases they invent so that people who don't get the autism stamp don't feel left out? It's fucking a completely normal hand, I can't believe someone is seeing anything wrong with this. What the fuck.
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