>go to /ashleyj/ for my daily shitposting
>see someone posted a mysterious link
>remember in Ashley's "The Boomer to Zoomer Technology Pipeline" she says people are afraid of TLDs
>decide to man the fuck up and click mysterious link
>end up getting a virus from it
>since i use my phone to browse the internet no one can call me now because of the virus
>my from home business of selling vacuum cleaner replacement parts is now destroyed
>decide to sue Ashley because of it
>she tries to represent her self in court
>she loses
>i win
>she has no money to compensate me for destroying my vacuum cleaner replacement parts business
>come to an agreement that she can pay me by giving me her freshly shaved off armpit PLUS leg hair every month for the rest of her life
>sell said freshly shaved armpit and leg hair to her loserfuck fans
>make s-s-s-s-s-scads of buckeroos
>retire rich at age 14 with a hot af wife with the massive bolt on titties