/ashleyj/ - Ashley Jones

Discuss the world's funniest female comedienne, Ashley Jones.


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Sandwich angst. What more is there to say?

https://videos.icum.to/w/mvxDvyA9gunpMWdb5GtxEs
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fantastic
t. sorry I missed ur premiere had irl duties
update: I watched ur premier u r definitely the funniest internet amerishart woman ever
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Forget taking mushrooms to visit another dimension. Just eat one of these bad boys.
never fuck up a Mexican's sandwich or send them ur dildo pics
ok got it

the blue wig looks really good on you GYAAT damn
>>10597 (OP) 
All you do is complain.
Replies: >>10624 >>10652
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>>10623
What's your point? Let this serve as a good lesson for how women work, son.
Replies: >>10628
>>10624
God dammit fuck that guy and his hairy balls. It looks like the top of an elephant's head, you know since they're grey and slightly hairy?
Replies: >>10630
>>10628
Those are his balls? Then where is his cock?? How do you get your balls above your cock???
Replies: >>10639
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>>10630
Its like you dont watch hours of homosexual pornography. His penis is just flopped back. I forgot to draw a cucumber in his rectum but you get the big picture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyOg60cqCJs
lets get em boisss
Replies: >>10646
>>10642
dat editing

>>10597 (OP) 
>any time a woman a gives me an ounce of attention, Im thinking about that for weeks
Congratulations, this is the closest experience Ashley will get to being male.
Seriously, whenever a girl smiles at me I think about it for weeks.
I still remember this one girl from months back.
She was dressed in black jeans and a black hoody and had shoulder length, slightly wavy hair that was a dark brown.
Soft white skin with piercing blue eyes........
Anyways, I was visiting the big city and we locked eyes as she came out shopping centre. I swear she was one the most prettiest girls I had ever seen. I got embarrassed and broke the eye contact and looked down at the pavement. 
But then right before she left my field of view, I looked over at her again.
She was still looking at me and gave me this little smile as she put her airpods in and sat down.

This whole experience was maybe 5 seconds, but felt much longer. Like time stopped and we were just there together, in a small moment of time. Passing each other by, as we go on with our lives, never to see each other again.
I wonder if I will ever see a girl as beautiful as her look at me like that again.
Of course this had to happen in a city that I was just visiting for the day :(
Replies: >>10651
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>>10646
Reminds me of the time I proposed to the cashier at Wendy's when she smiled at me after taking my order.
Replies: >>10684
>>10623
I like hearing her complain tbh what are you gay or somethin?
Replies: >>10691
>>10651
She would make a good wife because she knows how to cook chicken nuggets.
>>10652
I would rape ashley, so no I'm not gay. But I do notice a trend in her complaining a lot. Just an observation, don't get all up in arms over it.
Replies: >>10692 >>10694
>>10691
Stop complaining
>>10691
>But I do notice a trend in her complaining a lot.
Aw geez dood you're pretty smaat are you like an ai or somethin? Hay tell me the lotto numbas
blue hair ashley makes me have blue balls
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I just wanna see lewds/nudes of her >:(
Replies: >>10708 >>10709
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>>10707
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>>10707
here you go
Replies: >>10710 >>10712
>>10709
Chemo Ashley makes me diamonds.
Replies: >>10711
>>10710
it also makes the medical industry thousands of dollars
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>>10709
god could you imagine if this wasn't just a bald cap and she actually smooth shaved her head?

I'd oil it up for her real good and make it as smooth and slick as possible and then cum on her head and watch my nut slide down and get caught between her head and her ear. Then I'd apologize and get her a microfiber towl and clean her up and then take her to get her head waxed. I would treat her head like it was my special little egg.
Replies: >>10713 >>10733
>>10712
Reminds me of the time I went to the movie theater years ago and there was a bald black gentleman sitting in front of me. His head was so shiny I could've watched the rest of the movie reflecting from it.
Replies: >>10715 >>10718
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>>10713
God men really are better at literally everything. You know that old trope that involves ladies at the theater wearing big hats, and then nobody behind them can see the stage? Yeah, that's women for you. Meanwhile, this guy sits in front of you at the theater and not only does he not block your view, he manages to give you an additional means of watching the movie probably without even knowing he's doing it. Incredible. Just incredible. Men are absolutely amazing. I love to suck cock.
>>10713
This made me laugh. Real shit nigga. One time 7ft tall black tranny in neon pink fish nets and daisy dukes pulled my hair on a roller coaster when I was 12. Like yanked my shit back like he was fucking my lil' boy hole. I didn't realize he was flirting with me till just now.
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>>10712
I wonder what it would take for Ashley to shave her head?.... (apart from the inevitable mental breakdown)
I mean her hair grows back fast and she has multiple wigs incase she needs to go out in public, so it cant be all bad.
Replies: >>10738 >>10741
>>10733
I hate when chicks do this to themselves. Even with sweet tits and a nice heinie, it's so ugly. PLEASE never shave your head Ashley.
Replies: >>10741
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>>10733
>>10738
Oh. They don't want me to do something drastic with my hair? I dyed my hair and am soon shaving it because I like Eminem's hair. This will also make it way easy to play TimTom in the next Spooky Searchers
>>10741
I always knew you were perfect innovent pure aryan wafu!!!! Let's secure the existence of our people and a future for WHITE children! <3333
Replies: >>10764
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>>10741
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>>10741
I see you've improved your hair dying skills since last time, pic related

heh, if you draw on a fake goatee like you did for Tim Tom, you'd like a lot like bandit.
WAIT NO I DONT MEAN YOU WOULD LOOK LIKE A DOG, just that with the combination of blonde hair and dark hair around your mouth it reminds me of a pug, thats all. I swear!

>spooky searchers is getting a sequel
Yep sounds good, alright lets do this!


>>10743
she has blue eye contacts too, ok calm down flag relatedseseses
Replies: >>10789
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>>10741
>I dyed my hair and am soon shaving it because I like Eminem's hair.
Huhuhoookay Ashley... whatever you saaaay...
>>10741

i love you so much (talking to the dog)
Replies: >>10782
>>10772
Yeah bandit is so cute.

Ash post more dog pics. You don't have to be in them.
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Dogs are the best, I still have my Ash's pupper collection from back in the day.
I wonder if she remembers my doggo Pukkie
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>>10784
no idea what happened there..
Replies: >>10787 >>10790
>>10785
I think its because it's all the same file name. But any way I prefer pussy pics.
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>>10764
My hair wasn't dyed in that picture, alllll natch (natural) (aka natty). You actually gave me an idea, I should try playing a dog as a character for one of my skits. If only I got as famous as vidrel.
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>>10784
>>10785
Ah mammeries. I mean memories, oops. On the topics of dogs, hair, dog hair, here are more old pictures I found on my old hard drive.
>>10789
Might I just say that bitch pissed enough to fuel an entire African village.
>>10784
My little nephew looked at my screen and says he likes your dog Ash.
Replies: >>10793
>>10792
I like your nephew's penis
Replies: >>10794
>>10793
My little nephew is 43
Replies: >>10797 >>10801
>>10790
Look at that sleepy boy, so comfy.

You somehow manage to pull off every hairstyle it seems.
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>>10790
NGL BROS

N G FUCKING L BROS
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>>10794
>>10790
13 year old me would've done anything to get in your little scene pants.
Replies: >>10800
>>10798
35 year old me feels the same way
Replies: >>10802
>>10794

holy crap, uncle steve?
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>>10800
picrel
>>10789
He didn't rub her nose in it? I actually did that to someone one time. I had a friend spend the night at my house when I was in high school...and his younger brother threw a tantrum that he couldn't come with us so I said he could come too...this is starting to sound really gay. Anyway, he thanked me for inviting him over to play my PlayStation 2 by pissing on my floor in his sleep. I found out because I stepped in it going to the bathroom to take a piss myself. So I woke him up and rubbed his face in it and made him clean that shit up while he threw a tantrum. It was really mean but he never pissed on my floor again and he was my roommate for almost two years when I moved out. He was only a few years younger than me and his parents would let him throw temper tantrums and piss his bed. He stopped that shit soon after.
Replies: >>10809
>>10790
You mean to tell me that you still have your old hard drive with pics of you still on it? Anything good on it like your missing videos, the PP Uncut wouldn't share or PP that you can only show me offline in your state after we're married? 🎵Memories make me want to go back there, back there.🎵
>>10807
please tell more little boy pee stories
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>>10790 
second pic from the left is the :3 face, very cute.
wait till Tahiti sees these!

also, does anyone else think Ash looks a bit like Rose with the blonde hair?
Or is it just the blonde hair thats making me think that?
Replies: >>10816
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>>10813
How did you get a picture of my wife? I kindly ask if you could stop comparing us. What's next, you want us to compare penises? hers is bigger But she refuses to convert kilograms into inches so I'm not completely sure. While she may be well versed in physics, I know plenty about jiggle physics and she's my test subject.
Replies: >>10842
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>>10789
>Maria just cleaned this floor
Replies: >>10837
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>>10830
reminds me of memin pinguin.
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>>10816 
dude stop you look like a 14 year old version of Rose, aaahhhhhhhhhh you're breaking my brain!!!!!!!

imagine a Ashley x Rose crossover video. 
Rose going back in time to meet her younger self played by Ash and then later Ashley goes to the future to meet her future self, played by Rose, pic related (I didnt make that) hmmmmmmm......
It will never happen though, Rose is too much of a normie.
Replies: >>10851 >>10854
>>10842
Has science gone too far?
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Ashley stiched the wig into head
Replies: >>10853
>>10852
Nice now it'll stay on while I rape her
>>10842
I had that dolphin lamp in the background. It's odly satisfying to squish. So is Ashley.
Replies: >>10872
>>10854
Dear Ashley Jones

Have you shoved the dolphin lamp inside your hole(s) and if so does it squirt inside you? Is it warm like a fleshy throbbing succulent cock like mine? Can it give you cute babies?
Replies: >>10875
>>10872
I'm not Ashley Jones **niggaaaaaaa*
>>10597 (OP) 
I've been witness to a concerning amount of cases like what you described with that crossdresser. The internet really ostracizes you when you aren't mentally ill. These people become abundant and insufferable. Many such cases, I guess. Maybe we should bring back porn flash games. Meet and fuck kingdom could save these people. They obviously don't have an outlet. Cute dog pics btw :)
Replies: >>10878 >>10881
>>10877
You also got a dude to shove a dildo up his ass and take a picture, only for you to send it to a Chinese print on demand picture vendor, and a few weeks later you put the picture on your wall? Wtf I have to be careful with my boyhole. I will charge good money for my fine art.
Replies: >>10917
>>10877
>They obviously don't have an outlet
How do they charge their vibrators then genius?
Replies: >>10882
>>10881
maybe the have solar powered vibrators?
Replies: >>10926
>>10878
You'd be surprised
>>10882
nothin like a bit of fun in the sun!
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lads, its with great pleasure I can announce the classic Ashley Jones lip bite is back
Replies: >>10929 >>11087
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>>10928
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>ywn have your cottage cheese buttcheeks displayed in Ashley's room
Replies: >>10974
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>>10959
Speaking of cottage cheese buttocks, thoughts on bonbi's latest meldown?
Replies: >>10975 >>10982
>>10974
>I'm sick of being treated like a fucking animal by everyone around me
>exposes herself like an animal to everyone around her for attention/money
If only her father(did she have one?) kept her away from the internet, now she's going to be fucked until she walls then die childless and alone like every other modern woman. She sees just enough to get her to change, but will ignore that for the dopamine and continue to ruin her life, it's sad but there's nothing anyone can do.
Replies: >>10978
>>10975
The only person who can save her is Jesus.
Replies: >>10980
>>10978
Religion won't matter if she's already ignoring her conscience, there won't be a change of heart. She might stop whoring around if a militant black muslim hebrew israelite forces into a burqa though.
Replies: >>10987
>>10974
>get called cute
>bonbi freaks out
>get called ugly
>bonbi freaks out

I think the MSG is getting to her bros.
Replies: >>10983
>>10982
You're right, she's been doing too many mukbang shows at Madison Square Garden
>>10980
I think he was referring to Jesus, the Mexican man who runs a lawn and garden care business down the street from her.
All that manual labour will help her shed some pounds.
Replies: >>11007
>>10987
This for sure deserves an upvote.
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I think this is the best she has ever looked. I'm not one of her orbiters, though.
Replies: >>11013
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>>11010
if you masturbate to this it's pretty much like I gave you the orgasm, which makes you gay
Replies: >>11016 >>11026
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>>11013
This hucow's tits are pouring out of that bra. Look at it, she's on the very last clip and didnt even clip it up all the way. She should just take it off. This farmer needs to see some udders.
Replies: >>11018
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>>11016
>This farmer needs to see some udders.
>>11013
You have no power here.
Replies: >>11028
>>11026
You're right, this isn't an all you can eat buffet
Replies: >>11035
>>11028
If it was, we'd have to install speed bumps for ur mom.
>>10597 (OP) 
is this the only video where she says the word fuck/fucking???
I cant think of another where she does.
Replies: >>11064
>>11062
In tiktok tranny where shes having a meltdown as a tranny and Tim tom in spooky searchers after getting peed on..
Replies: >>11065 >>11068
>>11064
I forgot one video. Antique guy drops a lot of f bombs.
Replies: >>11068
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An early F bomb
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>>11064
>>11065
>>11066

thanks guys, I need to work on my Ashley knowledge.
What a noob i am
<----- this guy, what a noob (thats me pointing to myself as I type this)
Replies: >>11069 >>11081
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>>11068
great... I just pink texted myself....
Replies: >>11070 >>11168
>>11069
Better than pink socking yourself
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how does ashley feel when 30 y/o guys hit on her? most of us are even older than that aren't we
Replies: >>11073
>>11072
I just tell them I fell down the stairs
but seriously I don't mind keep giving me money and gift cards
Replies: >>11075
>>11073
I haven't gotten a gift card in over FIVE (5) months, and I'm still hanging on to that one I got. Why aren't you guys feeding me? In fact, I'm the one feeding you 30+ year olds free McDonalds. It's clear I wear the pants in the relationship and you are the ones wearing a cockcage. As for Monero, I couldn't call any of this profitable, not that I'm trying to be. But I don't mind that you guys aren't taking care of me. You guys have better things to put your money towards, like a new package of Depends or a 6 pack of Ensure. Gotta stay regular. Just know that while your grandchildren never talk to you, I will through my videos. I promise I won't make fun of any more old men who are dying ever again; I've learned my lesson. So to not dig up old graves...

I find 30+ year olds very attractive, men and some women. Yes, I will admit that I have masturbated to actual solo grandma porn a few times in my life. I hope that karmically, this will even me out for the other more disgusting things I've masturbated to.
Replies: >>11077
>>11075
>>11075
That's right you dirty old dogs, Lolita Jones wants to wet your rusty pecker! All you gotta do is reply to this post with your full name, billing address, phone number, credit card number and those three darn numbers on the back!
Replies: >>11078
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>>11077
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>>11068
All you need to know is that Ashley 2014-2015 was real. Ashley in the present is just a hologram performed on the holodeck. At least that's what Captain Picard told me.
Replies: >>11083 >>11090
>>11081
That's why she doesnt age.
Replies: >>11090
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>>10928
>>11081
>>11083


I heard it was the copious amounts of baby blood she drinks.
Thats the real reason why she has Monero too.
She can use that to buy her baby blood on the dark web, since she can no longer visit Epstein's island after that one embarrassing incident...
Replies: >>11096
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>>11090
I think the incident you're refering to is the aluminum foil, the duck wearing a funny hat and the hooked rug. Yes, very embarrassing. Even Epstein (if he is truly dead) is rolling over in his grave.
>>11069
I keep thinking about this and laughing. The shame, the phrase "pink texted myself", the gif.
Replies: >>11328
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>>11168
I thought you were against animal abuse.
>>10597 (OP) 
youre autistic friend who chipped his (beta) teeth on a Whopper isnt alone!
There are dozens of victims!

https://burgerkingbrokemytooth.blogspot.com/

You need to get into contact with him again, convince him to contact the blogger above and form a super group of retarded heroes (secretly funded by The American Dental Association) that will stand up to the evil, tooth destroying fast food giants across the world!
Do it! think of the teeth!!!
Replies: >>11357 >>11362
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>>11354
This is hilarious, what a great find. Serves them right for eating dead flesh goyslop.
>>11354
https://news.sky.com/story/vegans-more-likely-to-break-bones-than-meat-eaters-study-finds-12139886
Replies: >>11363
>>11362
That's terrifying. I knew vegans were dangerous.

Ashley, I know you want snoo-snoo. The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised
Replies: >>11366
>>11363
That’s why it’s better to be vegetarian than vegan.
Replies: >>11375
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>>11366
Y'all ever try the carnivore diet?
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